1 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:18,727 - Florida Snake Hunt 2016. 2 00:00:20,478 --> 00:00:21,438 Hmm. 3 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,652 Total length of snakes. 4 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,446 No more than two pieces. 5 00:00:29,487 --> 00:00:33,825 Head must be included. Oof. 6 00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,827 $20,000 grand prize. 7 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:44,252 How to kill big snakes. 8 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,171 - If you ever you catch a Burmese python, 9 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,839 make sure you kill it on the spot. 10 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,174 - Oh, my God! 11 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,342 - Their teeth are so long, so sharp. 12 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,843 They just puncture right down. 13 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,846 - You gotta protect yourself. Gloves, heavy boots. 14 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,348 - You need a swamp vehicle. 15 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,515 - Firmly pin the snake behind the head. 16 00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,392 - Try not to hesitate. - Ew. 17 00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:00,894 - Take a captive bolt gun or air pistol. 18 00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:03,104 - So this might be the largest python I've ever caught. 19 00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,857 - Draw an imaginary X on the back of their head. 20 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,861 Boom! One shot destroys the brain. 21 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,281 - Here we go. 22 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:46,606 Aw, shit. 23 00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,938 Oof. 24 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578 Hey. 25 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,916 - Oh, yeah, I guess it was, like, 26 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:49,210 pouring rain till, like, one minute ago. 27 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,837 The weather is crazy. 28 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,340 I don't care what Marco says. Climate change is real. 29 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,967 - I believe in climate change. 30 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,427 - Doesn't take two people to answer the door, Marco. 31 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,971 - Were you just hiding a bike in our bush? 32 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,014 - God, seriously? 33 00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:01,973 Why are you so obsessed with me? 34 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,016 - I am not obsessed with you. 35 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,392 I live here. It's my bush. 36 00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:05,602 - Now it seems like you're obsessed with bushes. 37 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,312 - I am not obsessed with bushes. 38 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,438 - Yeah, you are, and it's weird, 39 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,647 because it's not even your bush. 40 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:11,149 - It's in front of my house. - That you rent. 41 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,650 You're borrowing that bush. 42 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,069 - Well, at least I have a bush. - You're a bush borrower. 43 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,862 - You live in an apartment. - You're a bush borrower. 44 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:17,906 - Bush borrower. 45 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,369 - I'm having a little car trouble. 46 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,623 That's right. You were there. 47 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,458 I was hopin' I could borrow yours for work. 48 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,168 - Psh, you don't work. 49 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,461 - I do work, Marco. 50 00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,171 I'm starting a saw palmetto farm... 51 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,006 - Ooh. - Which is a billion-dollar 52 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,174 international industry. 53 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,343 By the way, I got a huge investor meeting. 54 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:39,761 It's big stuff. 55 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,596 I was hopin' I get the car just for today. 56 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,766 - No--no. 57 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:46,434 - Yeah, Marco don't need to go anywhere. 58 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,019 He's gotta hang around. 59 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,479 He's on bush patrol. 60 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,398 - I'm not obsessed with bushes. 61 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,317 - And yet here we are, talking about bushes again. 62 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,823 - 5:30? No problem. 63 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,775 Hey. 64 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,071 - Name, email, phone number. 65 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,489 - Okay. 66 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,413 - Welcome packet. 67 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,914 - What's the whistle for? 68 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,042 Does it scare the snakes away or call them to you? 69 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,627 - Yes. 70 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:55,795 Hello. 71 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,881 Hello. 72 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:01,092 I'm Wayne Persons, and I'm here to welcome you 73 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:05,305 to the second annual South Florida Python Challenge. 74 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,851 All right, a few quick reminders: 75 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,144 hunting must be done 76 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:14,731 at approved competition locations, all right? 77 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,525 Hooks, tongs, and bags are permitted. 78 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,694 Not permitted are: 79 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:23,865 traps, explosives, chemicals, smoke. 80 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,493 Dead snakes are counted by the foot. 81 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:30,872 Fertilized eggs inside a snake or inside a nest 82 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:34,125 are counted as two feet of snake. 83 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,294 - Oh, a nest. Ooh, boy. 84 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,962 That's the dream right there. - Mm. 85 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,506 - You know a big female can pop out 86 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:42,509 about 100 eggs at a time, huh? 87 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,011 I'd like to see her body bounce back after that one. 88 00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:49,015 - Now, before we begin, please join me in a moment of silence 89 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:53,103 for last year's champion, Boone Finnigan. 90 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,480 He was an honorable man 91 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,565 who passed away far too soon. 92 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,320 - Was he eaten by a snake? 93 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,656 - No. He shot himself. 94 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,741 - Oh. - He was depressed or whatever. 95 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,952 Actually, he used the prize money to buy the gun. 96 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:10,995 - Damn. - All right, that's it. 97 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,205 Let the games begin. 98 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,042 - Whoo! Yeah! 99 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,838 Corby, come on. Stop shootin' me from below. 100 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,172 Rise up. Get some flattering angles. 101 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,465 Little tricep. 102 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,593 - It's a camera, not a magic wand. 103 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,138 - I make huntin' vids for YouTube. 104 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,514 That's my cameraman. 105 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,849 - This child? 106 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,142 - He's my son. 107 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,351 But I'm a professional. 108 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,520 Got about 150,000 subscribers. 109 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,105 I don't say that to intimidate you. 110 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,606 - I don't feel intimidated. 111 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,733 - Well, you should. 112 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,109 It's a lot of subscribers. 113 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,361 150K makes me an MTI. 114 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,739 Mid-tier influencer. 115 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,199 - Pretty soon, you'll be a UTI. 116 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,828 - Upper-tier influencer. 117 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,872 - I know what a UTI is, okay? 118 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,125 My father has dementia. He gets them all the time. 119 00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:03,214 And you just made a very powerful enemy. 120 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,924 - Okay. 121 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:05,925 Okay. 122 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,263 - I'm sorry-- - Corby! 123 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,223 Come on. Put the camera on me. 124 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,100 Get this turn. 125 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,477 Ooh. 126 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,145 - Hey! 127 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,730 - Oh, what's up, Jillian G? 128 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,732 - You're here. That's so awesome. 129 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,068 We're gonna be unstoppable. 130 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,111 When we team up--you know you can enter the contest 131 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,488 with a partner. 132 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,616 - Okay, but... do I need a partner? 133 00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:31,951 - Snake hunting is so much easier with a team. 134 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:34,537 Everyone knows you need a grabber and a lookout, 135 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,206 and I'm very good at grabbing. 136 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:38,416 - I'm sure you're a great grabber, but... 137 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,793 I need all that prize money 138 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,753 to buy my saw palmetto farm. 139 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,130 - Okay, but are you sure you can do this alone? 140 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,424 There is some very intense competition. 141 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,759 Take a look around you. 142 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:52,430 Camo guy, camo guy, flannel shirt, camo guy, 143 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,848 and look at this old-timer. 144 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,643 He looks like he knows the swamps better than anyone. 145 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:59,270 - That guy's so old, insects think he's dead. 146 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,689 A fly just landed on his eye. 147 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,316 - He's staying super still as a hunting technique. 148 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,111 Any second, he's gonna snatch it right out of the air. 149 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,368 Okay, well, the camo guys mean business. 150 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,578 - I'ma take my chances on my own. 151 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,455 But best of luck to you. 152 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,332 I'll see you out there. 153 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:22,502 - Okay, well, just so you know, I'm gonna destroy you! 154 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,297 Hit me up on Uber if you ever need a ride! 155 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,383 Looks like you've got a car again, though, 156 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,719 so you probably won't need to. 157 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:10,383 - "The Business Battlefield." 158 00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:14,179 "Getting Ready to Brawl." 159 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:19,476 Here's a question I ask all my entrepreneurs: 160 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:23,855 what do you, Bill Gates, and Jeff Bezos have in common? 161 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,192 You're probably thinking, "Rita, not much." 162 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,568 Wrong. 163 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,529 You all have the same number of hours in a day. 164 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,406 It's what you do with that. 165 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,369 - Hey there, Mr. Independent, 166 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,204 Mr. Single Rider. 167 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,538 How's the hunting? 168 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,790 - Pretty good. You? 169 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,291 - Oh, it's going great. 170 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,669 I'm actually glad you didn't want to partner up, 171 00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,504 because I found someone else. 172 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,422 He's really wonderful. 173 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,049 - Oh, yeah? Cool. Where is he? 174 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,759 - He's here. He's just slumped over a bit. 175 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,262 - The bumpy road put him right to sleep. 176 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,848 - You sure that guy should be out in the sun hunting snakes? 177 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:01,351 - His name is Silas, 178 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,354 and he's actually quite spry for his age. 179 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,522 You'd be surprised. 180 00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,232 - Another fly just landed on his eye. 181 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,235 - It's not his fault. 182 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,487 He takes a medication that makes his tears sweet. 183 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:16,116 - Cool. Well, I'm glad it all worked out for you. 184 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,410 You found somebody that you're very excited about. 185 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,788 - Yes, I am very excited. 186 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,000 But if you're having any regrets now... 187 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,251 - Nope. - I would just think 188 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,586 that seeing how happy I am might make you-- 189 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,754 - Jillian, I'm good. - What the hell? 190 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,423 Are you trying to replace me? 191 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,675 - What? No, no. 192 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:35,260 I was just trying to make him jealous. 193 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:38,388 He was gonna be all, "I do wanna be partners," 194 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,307 and I was gonna be all, "Psych! You had your chance. 195 00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:42,517 Later, loser." 196 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,436 - Oh, well, all right. 197 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,937 You stay away from us, 198 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,814 or I'll slit your throat. 199 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,569 He's a feisty one. 200 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:55,864 This morning, he told me if I didn't stop tapping my fingers, 201 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,615 he'd bite them off one by one. 202 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,867 - Oh. - Anyway, 203 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:00,869 have fun going it alone. 204 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,004 - The people who really want success 205 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:13,006 will do anything to get it. 206 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,216 Yes, you may run into a mountain, 207 00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,594 but mountains are made for climbing. 208 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,971 It may not always be easy, 209 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,348 but you have to get comfortable 210 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,183 being uncomfortable. 211 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:25,769 I always tell my entrepreneurs that the road to success 212 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:26,811 is not a road. 213 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,022 It's an obstacle course, 214 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,441 and that's a good thing, 215 00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:34,069 because once you get to the end of your journey, 216 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,863 you realize the journey never actually ends. 217 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,699 There's always a new mountain to climb. 218 00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:41,409 But now you're prepared. 219 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,454 You've taken every test and dodged every bullet. 220 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:46,498 You've been under the gun and had your feet to the fire. 221 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,750 - Gotcha! 222 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,377 Ow! 223 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,670 Fuck! 224 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,720 - Oh, fuck. 225 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,514 Ugh, shit. 226 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,682 Ah! 227 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:07,602 Oh, shit. 228 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,193 Gah! Fuck! 229 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,986 - Yo, Craig. - Damn! 230 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,030 - Hello--hello? 231 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,199 Craigory! Brah, you okay? 232 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,659 - I think I just broke my foot. 233 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,078 - So sounds like snake huntin's goin' great. 234 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,288 - I'm bleeding here, Zay. Shut up! 235 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,957 - Don't get mad at me. Why'd you answer the phone? 236 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,125 - 'Cause I just called an ambulance. 237 00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,459 I thought you were them calling back. 238 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,461 - Wait, you already called an ambulance? 239 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:35,088 I thought you just broke your foot. 240 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,590 I also nailed a snake to my hand. 241 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:39,884 - What was that? I couldn't hear you. 242 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,720 - I also nailed a snake to my hand! 243 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,181 Is it still on there? 244 00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,182 Hey, FaceTime me real quick. 245 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:47,308 I wanna see this shit. 246 00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,438 - Oh, my God! 247 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,605 Are you okay? 248 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,524 - Not doin' great, Jillian G. - Ah! 249 00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,026 Oh, you fuckup. 250 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,736 - Look at that. 251 00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,112 You got him right in the brain. 252 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,239 At least he didn't feel any pain. 253 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,658 - Oh, I'm so glad this dead snake is comfortable. 254 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,744 - I'm gonna try to pull the nail out. 255 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,203 Maybe it won't hurt. 256 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,706 I read somewhere that there's a part of the human hand 257 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,791 that doesn't have any nerves. 258 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,877 Not that part! 259 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,712 - Silas, you're on tons of medication. 260 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,464 Do you have any painkillers? 261 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:20,383 I've got diclofenac. 262 00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,552 - What are those for? - I have no idea. 263 00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,555 I just eat whatever jangles in my pocket. 264 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,223 But he can't have any. 265 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,641 - Damn. - He's the enemy. 266 00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:30,643 I hope you die out here. 267 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:33,438 - I'm not taking some old man's mystery pills. 268 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,939 Besides, I already called an ambulance. 269 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,775 - Craig, do you have health insurance? 270 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,903 - No. I mean, I had it, but then I got fired. 271 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,321 - That's a shocker. 272 00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:42,614 - You really don't wanna call an ambulance. 273 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,115 Having them come all the way out here 274 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,742 is gonna be so expensive. 275 00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:46,826 - Can't be that expensive. 276 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,453 - Like, $1,500. - What? Shit. 277 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,871 - That's how much they charged me 278 00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,289 when I fell off the water slide. 279 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,375 I have debt collectors calling me to this day. 280 00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:55,627 That's why I have to answer all unknown calls as... 281 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,295 A little boy named Simon. 282 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,797 - Just don't answer the unknown calls. 283 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,632 But what if I've won a sweepstakes? 284 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:02,717 - Well, I obviously don't have $1,500 lying around. 285 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,135 Fuck! - I could take you to my friend 286 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,470 who's a doctor. 287 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,180 She'll see you for a couple hundred bucks, 288 00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:09,265 maybe for free because she's my friend. 289 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,642 We're really good friends. 290 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,143 - The amount of times you said she's your friend 291 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,312 makes me feel like she's not your friend. 292 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,189 But if she's a doctor... 293 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,483 - Oh, she's a great doctor and my friend. 294 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,776 Screw it. 295 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:20,860 What have I got to lose? 296 00:14:21,945 --> 00:14:23,655 Ah, shit. 297 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,407 Guess we gotta tell them to turn around. 298 00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:26,700 - They're gonna charge you anyway. 299 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,202 They bill you as soon as you make the call. 300 00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,162 But I can get us out of here. Hide the snake. 301 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,288 - Hide the snake? It's nailed to my hand. 302 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,540 - Just put it behind your back. 303 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,835 Okay, act natural. 304 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,629 Big normal smiles. 305 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,008 - We got a call about a man 306 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,342 with a snake nailed to his hand. 307 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:48,054 - Oh, well, sadly none of us are that man, 308 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,306 but good luck in finding him. 309 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:54,019 But now you mention it, I did see someone like that. 310 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,187 - Okay. So where? 311 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,315 - He went to the bathroom. 312 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,317 That's his car back there with the billboard. 313 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,111 He'll probably go back to it. 314 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,988 - I'm sorry. Who are you? 315 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,948 You're all just out in the swamp, 316 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:07,991 unrelated to the call? 317 00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:09,284 - Yup. 318 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,952 We're having a swamp day. 319 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:11,995 Lil' swamp romp. 320 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:13,204 We're a family. 321 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,707 This is my husband and his father. 322 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,083 My father? 323 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,209 - Anyway, we better get going. 324 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,794 Get in the car, boys! 325 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,254 Mum's driving. 326 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,382 - Whose mom are you? 327 00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,052 - I'm the mother to two young sons. 328 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,511 They're no longer with us. 329 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,555 But I'll always be a mother. 330 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:34,267 - Oh, now to just grab the nail gun and... 331 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,271 Oh, yeah. 332 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,647 And we're off! 333 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:40,774 - I can see the snake on your hand, man. 334 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,900 - Don't know what you're talking about. 335 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,193 - You called us out here. 336 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:44,361 We need to get your name and information. 337 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,112 - Go, go, go. Silas, meet us at the car! 338 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:57,165 - Are you worried about leaving your car back there? 339 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:59,334 - Why, because that billboard is my livelihood 340 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:02,420 and it contains all my worldly possessions? 341 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,464 A little bit, but I'll figure it out. 342 00:16:04,506 --> 00:16:05,924 Let's just get you to the doctor. 343 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,258 - Hey, thank you for helping me 344 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,802 with the ambulance back there. 345 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,303 - My pleasure. 346 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,971 And I was thinking... 347 00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,933 neither of us is gonna win this thing alone. 348 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,601 If you did wanna team up, 349 00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,479 I could invest my half of the prize money in your business, 350 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:20,939 and you could make me a partner. 351 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,399 - I knew it. 352 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,109 You're throwing me to the curb. 353 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,444 - Oh, I'm sorry, Silas. 354 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,655 But you're really not a great partner. 355 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:31,032 You're slow. You're mean. 356 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,618 You think everything's a snake. - I'm not mean. 357 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,911 - Come on, Silas. You're a dick. 358 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,122 - All right. I'm sorry if I'm competitive. 359 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,291 But I need to earn that money to pay for my funeral. 360 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,460 - Wait, Silas, are you dying? 361 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,670 - Do I look like I'm dying? 362 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:48,800 - I mean... - Well, you are... 363 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,344 - I wouldn't be a shock if-- - Advanced in years. 364 00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:53,596 - The answer is no. I'm not dying. 365 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:54,931 - Good. 366 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:56,099 - And you don't have family 367 00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:57,142 to take care of funeral stuff? 368 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,977 - I got nobody. 369 00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,478 And when you die in Florida with no money, 370 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,730 you know what they do? 371 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,481 They cremate you. 372 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:04,774 Put you in a plastic bag 373 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:08,194 and throw you over in a file cabinet. 374 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,488 Unless you're an unknown. 375 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:14,617 And then you get buried so they can identify you later. 376 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,953 Stupid unknowns. They get everything good. 377 00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,497 - I'm sorry, Silas. 378 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,124 - Oh, don't be sorry. 379 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:24,919 When I win the 20 grand, I'm gonna have a real burial 380 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,463 and a tombstone. 381 00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:27,922 "Here lies Silas Humphries, 382 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,675 "treasurer of the Scott Lake Business Council. 383 00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,386 "Coauthored a report that convinced the Dolphins 384 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:36,389 to build Joe Robbie Stadium at its current location." 385 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:38,600 - Very long. - It's a lot of information 386 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,560 for a tombstone. - It's a bit clunky. 387 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,520 - Yeah... I just want people to know 388 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,814 that my life meant something. 389 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,153 - How far is this doctor? - I don't know. 390 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,363 The mall's, like, ten minutes away. 391 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,989 - The mall? 392 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,535 - Okay, now, before you meet her, 393 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,788 I do have to come clean. 394 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:00,872 You were right. 395 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,791 I'm not really friends with Tasha. 396 00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:06,336 She rode in my Uber, and I thought we really hit it off. 397 00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:07,671 But she never responded 398 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,090 to any of the follow-up texts I ever sent her. 399 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300 - I don't care if she's your friend, Jillian G. 400 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,344 I care that she works next to a Wetzel's. 401 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,763 - Okay, wow. That is crazy. 402 00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,306 - It really is. 403 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:20,433 Do you know what else is crazy? 404 00:18:20,475 --> 00:18:21,559 The fact that you and I never hung out 405 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,353 after we totally hit it off. 406 00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,605 I mean, I idled at your destination 407 00:18:25,647 --> 00:18:27,023 for, like, six minutes so we could 408 00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,441 finish our conversation. 409 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,694 Remember? - I think I was drunk. 410 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,320 - Right, that makes sense. 411 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:33,863 That's so Tasha. 412 00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,615 - Can we hurry up and get this thing off me, please? 413 00:18:35,657 --> 00:18:37,951 - Yeah, let me just fire up the cool sculpting machine. 414 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:39,744 - Cool sculpting machine? 415 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,913 - Yeah, well, it's made for fat-freezing, 416 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,290 but I think I can probably get the snake real cold 417 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:45,875 and then just crack it off. 418 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,544 - But no, no, you gotta give me anesthesia 419 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:48,628 and then sew me back up. 420 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,630 - Yeah, this is a med spa. 421 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,590 I was really only trained for the cool sculpting. 422 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,634 It was, like, a two-day seminar in Boca. 423 00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,428 That's why I get to wear this cool coat. 424 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,304 - Fuck this. I'm out. Take me to a real doctor. 425 00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,889 - Tasha is a real doctor. - No. 426 00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:02,308 We're not allowed to represent ourselves that way. 427 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,893 They were very clear about that in Boca. 428 00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,395 - This is crazy. I should've never let you 429 00:19:05,437 --> 00:19:06,521 talk me out of the ambulance. 430 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,564 - I was just trying to be helpful. 431 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,399 - You were trying to replace me. 432 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:11,026 - Look, you have to get over that, Silas. 433 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,235 - But why, though? 434 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,778 Why you want me to be your partner so bad? 435 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,238 We barely even know each other. 436 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,574 - I just... really need money. 437 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:18,950 Every day is so stressful, 438 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,618 and I know I can't win this thing on my own 439 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,328 or with fucking Silas. 440 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,371 But then you came along, 441 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:24,622 and I guess I just don't have 442 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,499 that many people in my life right now, 443 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,751 except for Tasha. 444 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,294 - I literally don't know your name. 445 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,628 - Her name is Jillian G., 446 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,547 and I'm sorry your life is stressful. 447 00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,174 But my life is stressful too. 448 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,467 It's only gotten more stressful 449 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,926 since the moment I got in your car. 450 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:38,094 You might be the most stressful person 451 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,471 I ever met in my life. 452 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,265 So now you're gonna drive me back to Camille's, 453 00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,725 and I'ma return her car. 454 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:46,144 Then I'ma get in a cab and go to the hospital 455 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:47,979 like a normal person. 456 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,064 - All right. Sorry. 457 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,566 Let's go to Camille's. Who's Camille? 458 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:55,153 - My ex-wife! - Right. Okay. Context clues. 459 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,488 I'll call you, Tasha. 460 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,997 - I'm sorry about earlier. 461 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,458 I just thought you were trying to steal my partner. 462 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,961 You can have some... if you want. 463 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,965 Jangle, jangle. 464 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,777 - I'm sorry. My meeting ran long. 465 00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:38,154 - It's my fault. I made us stop for milkshakes. 466 00:20:38,196 --> 00:20:41,324 We finished them and threw away the cups and napkins. 467 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,576 I'm Jillian, by the way. 468 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,495 - These are my colleagues from my new job. 469 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,038 It's a pretty great job. 470 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,040 I'd go into it, but I don't want Marco to feel threatened. 471 00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,878 - What's she saying? Is she buying it? 472 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,463 She still looks really upset. 473 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,173 - She can read lips, Jillian G., 474 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:58,341 and Marco can fully hear you. 475 00:20:58,383 --> 00:20:59,426 - Who's Marco? 476 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,678 Wait. Context clues. 477 00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:04,431 I know who Marco is. 478 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,599 - Okay, you met Jillian. We had small talk. 479 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,393 Marco offered nothing. 480 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,104 Now to just shut the door. 481 00:21:14,024 --> 00:21:15,483 - What the fuck is that? 482 00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,777 - It's a Burmese python, Marco. 483 00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,071 - I'm doing this snake-hunting contest for money, 484 00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,573 and I accidentally nailed it to my hand. 485 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,867 I know. I've been lying all day. 486 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:24,868 I'm the asshole. 487 00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,748 Yeah, I'm goin' to the hospital. 488 00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,291 I'll be fine. It's okay. 489 00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,542 You can yell at me. 490 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,297 - What? No, be angry. 491 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:38,214 You're supposed to be angry. 492 00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,092 I don't need help. 493 00:21:41,134 --> 00:21:42,844 I need you to be angry 494 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,637 because you expect more from me. 495 00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,437 - Like when a dog eats chocolate? 496 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,438 That's how you see me? 497 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,190 I'm an adult man 498 00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,775 with a legitimate career plan. 499 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,318 I don't want your pity. 500 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,945 If you're not gonna yell at me, I'm leavin'. 501 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:03,907 Let's go, Jillian. 502 00:22:03,948 --> 00:22:05,533 Let's go, Silas. 503 00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,826 Silas. 504 00:22:07,619 --> 00:22:08,787 Silas! 505 00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,291 Fuck. 506 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,793 He dead. 507 00:22:27,347 --> 00:22:29,099 - Can you bag this up for us, please? 508 00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,183 - Sure. 509 00:22:30,225 --> 00:22:31,434 - I understand you knew the deceased. 510 00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:33,937 - Yeah, we were-- - We didn't know him at all. 511 00:22:33,978 --> 00:22:36,147 Met him this morning. Never even got his real name. 512 00:22:36,189 --> 00:22:38,608 He just wanted us to call him Pops. 513 00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,777 - So there's nothing you can tell me about him-- 514 00:22:40,819 --> 00:22:42,195 where he lived, where his family's at? 515 00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:44,572 - No. He just said, "I'm Pops," 516 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,200 and those were the last words he ever spoke. 517 00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,661 - Well, I'll be back to take your info down 518 00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:50,995 in case there are more questions. 519 00:22:51,037 --> 00:22:54,791 - Happy to be of service. Take care of Pops for us! 520 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,334 - What was that? 521 00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,878 - I took Silas' wallet before they got here, 522 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,880 so he has no ID on him. 523 00:23:00,922 --> 00:23:02,507 He's officially an unknown, 524 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:05,135 so now he can be buried like he wanted. 525 00:23:05,176 --> 00:23:07,387 - Okay, but what about his pills? 526 00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,305 Didn't the bottle in his pocket have his name on it? 527 00:23:11,433 --> 00:23:13,101 - Oh, shit. 528 00:23:13,143 --> 00:23:15,562 I'll go grab 'em. You create a distraction. 529 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,189 - Create a distraction? - You'll be great. 530 00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:22,652 - Hello. 531 00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:25,655 Hey, I just remembered some more stuff about Pops. 532 00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:27,407 - Yeah? - Yeah. 533 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:31,745 He said he was born in Tennessee. 534 00:23:31,786 --> 00:23:32,996 - Did he say where in Tennessee? 535 00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:36,249 - He did. I ju--I can't remember where. 536 00:23:36,291 --> 00:23:38,251 Maybe you could name some places in Tennessee, 537 00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:39,461 jog my memory. 538 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:40,503 - Nashville? 539 00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:41,880 - No, it wasn't nothing like that. 540 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:44,382 - Memphis? - Oh, don't be silly. 541 00:23:46,801 --> 00:23:48,219 Can you name some street addresses? 542 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:49,846 - Street addresses in Tennessee? 543 00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:51,014 - Yeah, it was a weird number, 544 00:23:51,056 --> 00:23:53,558 something I never thought could be a house. 545 00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:57,937 - Hey, that junkie's stealing drugs from a corpse! 546 00:23:57,979 --> 00:23:58,980 - No, I wasn't! 547 00:23:59,022 --> 00:24:00,523 That's not what was happening! 548 00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:02,442 I wasn't stealing drugs! 549 00:24:02,484 --> 00:24:04,569 I was just-- 550 00:24:04,611 --> 00:24:07,030 I just wanted to touch this dead man's dick! 551 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,032 No law against that! 552 00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:10,742 - There definitely is. 553 00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:14,579 - Right, yeah. So I was stealing drugs. 554 00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:17,749 But I'll just put them back right now. 555 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,794 There they are. Back. 556 00:24:22,837 --> 00:24:24,881 - No! Come back here! 557 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,989 - Almost there. 558 00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:54,911 - Jillian G. 559 00:24:54,953 --> 00:24:56,663 - Hey. 560 00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:57,956 What are you doing here? 561 00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,416 - I brought your house back. 562 00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:00,959 Plus, I wanted to see how much trouble you were in. 563 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:04,462 - It's only a misdemeanor since Silas can't press charges. 564 00:25:04,504 --> 00:25:06,923 It's actually a good loophole, stealing from a corpse. 565 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:08,925 - You mean grave robbing? 566 00:25:08,967 --> 00:25:10,343 - I guess I do mean grave robbing. 567 00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:12,178 Grave robbing is a life hack. 568 00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:14,681 - Yeah, well, anyway, 569 00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:16,224 you were right. 570 00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,976 I obviously can't do this alone, 571 00:25:18,018 --> 00:25:21,855 and since you're without a partner now, 572 00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:25,692 I came to see if you're still interested in teamin' up. 573 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,068 - Really? 574 00:25:27,110 --> 00:25:28,862 I thought I was the most stressful person 575 00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,280 you've ever met. 576 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,741 - That was before I saw what you did for Silas. 577 00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:33,908 That was pretty cool. 578 00:25:35,702 --> 00:25:36,995 - Thank you. 579 00:25:39,247 --> 00:25:41,750 You know I didn't actually touch his dick. 580 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,960 - I meant about the pills. 581 00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:46,004 You knew him for, like, 12 hours, 582 00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:48,214 and he was kind of an asshole, 583 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:50,091 and you were still willing to go to jail 584 00:25:50,133 --> 00:25:52,010 just to help him out. 585 00:25:52,052 --> 00:25:53,720 - I just wanted him to get buried 586 00:25:53,762 --> 00:25:55,764 so his life meant something. 587 00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:58,308 But I guess he's still not gonna get that tombstone. 588 00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:02,062 - I actually had a thought about that. 589 00:26:12,655 --> 00:26:14,949 Ooh, that was a good day. 590 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:18,661 - Great day. See you tomorrow, partner! 591 00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:19,746 - Partner. 592 00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:33,093 - Craig. - Oh, hey, Mr. Palimides. 593 00:26:33,134 --> 00:26:35,970 - Can I talk to you? - Yeah, what's goin' on? 594 00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:38,640 - I need to show you something. 595 00:26:38,682 --> 00:26:41,434 Is that your apartment? 596 00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:44,854 Are you making pornography in my building? 597 00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:47,232 - No, no. That's not my apartment. 598 00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:48,316 I mean, I could see where it looks like it 599 00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:49,526 'cause of the layout, 600 00:26:49,567 --> 00:26:51,820 but no, mine is actually very different. 601 00:26:53,154 --> 00:26:54,614 What the fuck? 602 00:26:57,075 --> 00:26:58,910 - I want you out by tomorrow. 603 00:27:03,248 --> 00:27:05,542 Fuck. 604 00:28:31,336 --> 00:28:33,421 - Not a doctor. Shh.