1
00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:07,311
♪

2
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I heard the singing down
the hall. Whose birthday was it?

3
00:00:15,884 --> 00:00:18,931
Oh, I don't know.
I wasn't there.

4
00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:23,936
♪ Happy birthday...♪

5
00:00:23,979 --> 00:00:25,633
It's not my birthday.

6
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:28,506
So, there was another
office gathering

7
00:00:28,549 --> 00:00:29,942
to which I was not invited?

8
00:00:29,985 --> 00:00:31,726
Well, yes, but think of all
the good you're doing.

9
00:00:31,770 --> 00:00:34,468
If not for you,
there wouldn't be an in-crowd.

10
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,948
I can't believe
I'm having such a hard time

11
00:00:35,991 --> 00:00:38,820
fitting in at Harvard.

12
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Kind of hard to fall back
on the old line,

13
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"They're just intimidated
by your intellect."

14
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Don't take it personally.
You're still new.

15
00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:48,352
Besides, no one else we know
was at the party.

16
00:00:48,395 --> 00:00:50,005
Alan, there you are.

17
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:52,095
There's ice cream, too?

18
00:00:52,138 --> 00:00:53,705
I was just delivered something

19
00:00:53,748 --> 00:00:56,795
that made me fly over here.

20
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Interesting,

21
00:00:58,318 --> 00:01:00,712
because I, too,
received something that, uh,

22
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would be a real
feather in my cap.

23
00:01:04,585 --> 00:01:06,761
So, if you got the flu...?

24
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It would be avian in nature.

25
00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:12,767
I'm gonna freak out
if I'm not included real soon.

26
00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,292
I got the golden plume.

27
00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:16,554
I, too, was plumed.

28
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"You've been cordially invited
to attend

29
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"the Founders' Society mixer.

30
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,344
Join the president and fellows
of Harvard University."

31
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What is this?

32
00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:28,870
It's no big deal. It's just

33
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an extremely selective group
of Harvard's brightest minds

34
00:01:31,438 --> 00:01:33,266
who help shape the
university's future.

35
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I'm kidding,
it's a very big deal.

36
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I heard, in their cellar,

37
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they have a bottle of Scotch

38
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from Shackleton's
1917 expedition.

39
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What I wouldn't give

40
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to have a piece of history
like that burn my esophagus.

41
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Every Harvard president

42
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started out as a member
of the Founders' Society.

43
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Oh, my sister's
gonna be so jealous.

44
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Text Monica.

45
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"I'm about to be president."

46
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"I'm about to be pregnant."

47
00:02:00,728 --> 00:02:02,991
Eh, she'll still
be jealous. Send.

48
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You know, this is
what's wrong with academia.

49
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:05,777
Look at the two of you,

50
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,518
acting like a couple
of giddy children

51
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,911
because of an invitation for
some pretentious, elitist clique

52
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,826
that just had to...

53
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,533
I got a golden plume.

54
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,925
We all got a plume.

55
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I've got a plume. Oh, my God.

56
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,717
Oh, there they are.

57
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-I'll get it.
-Thank you, Freddy.

58
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,374
- Hey.
- Hey.
- My,

59
00:02:37,417 --> 00:02:38,896
you look ravishing.

60
00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,769
Well, I tried something fun
with my hair.

61
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Oh, this is so exciting.
The three of us together.

62
00:02:44,771 --> 00:02:46,339
Aren't you all

63
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,037
competing against each other
to get into that club?

64
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:51,692
Technically, yes,
but we've gamed the system

65
00:02:51,735 --> 00:02:53,259
by forming an alliance.

66
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:56,348
See, working together allows you

67
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to brag about one other,
which is endearing,

68
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,745
but when you brag
about yourself, it's obnoxious.

69
00:03:00,788 --> 00:03:02,790
Yes, the whole thing
was my idea.

70
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:06,751
It's a brilliant idea.
I mean, with my connections,

71
00:03:06,794 --> 00:03:09,754
Dr. Crane's celebrity,
and also Alan,

72
00:03:09,797 --> 00:03:12,626
um, we're shoo-ins
for the Founders' Society.

73
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,628
"The Founders' Society."

74
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,369
Isn't this whole thing
just a little pretentious?

75
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,762
-Yes, of course it is.
-Absolutely.
-Very much so.

76
00:03:17,805 --> 00:03:18,980
Look, and we all have

77
00:03:19,024 --> 00:03:20,678
very good reasons
for wanting to get in.

78
00:03:20,721 --> 00:03:22,375
I mean, I for one would like
to find a place

79
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,724
where I feel like I belong.

80
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:26,597
-Scotch-related gluttony for me.
-Mm.

81
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,642
Naked ambition here.

82
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:32,384
Here we are. Champagne.
Plus, it gives

83
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,517
Alan and I an opportunity

84
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,433
to exorcise some demons.

85
00:03:36,476 --> 00:03:39,566
Ah, yes,
the Bullingdon Club incident.

86
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:42,308
A classic story.

87
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,918
It was back when we were both
attending Oxford.

88
00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:46,312
We tried to get into
their most exclusive club,

89
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:47,313
and while we were pledging...

90
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,532
You got lights-out drunk

91
00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:50,534
and snuck into the library.

92
00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,666
Freddy, please.

93
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,625
Olivia and Eve
have not heard this story.

94
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,975
So, once we were inebriated,

95
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:59,412
we thought we would sneak into
the library and try to steal...

96
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,327
Oscar Wilde's walking stick.

97
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:04,809
Olivia, please.
Eve has not heard this story.

98
00:04:04,852 --> 00:04:08,552
So, once we absconded
with the stick we were...

99
00:04:08,595 --> 00:04:11,771
Tackled by a pack
of surprisingly spry librarians

100
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:13,687
and forever banned
from the club.

101
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,907
It was my darkest hour.

102
00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:19,649
I do not sound like that.

103
00:04:20,781 --> 00:04:22,000
So, you've all heard this story?

104
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:23,349
Dad,

105
00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,482
you and Alan have five stories.

106
00:04:25,525 --> 00:04:28,920
No, no. Have you heard
the one about...

107
00:04:28,963 --> 00:04:30,878
we tried to rescue a poodle...

108
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:33,664
...from the deck of a catamaran,
and we ended up...

109
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,796
Naked in Denmark.

110
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,452
You know, you tell these stories
so often that I'm afraid

111
00:04:39,496 --> 00:04:41,280
that John's first words
are gonna be...

112
00:04:41,324 --> 00:04:42,760
"And that crazy drunk chick

113
00:04:42,803 --> 00:04:45,371
turned out to be
Princess Margaret."

114
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I apologize for the humiliation

115
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I'm about to inflict
on you, Eve,

116
00:04:49,984 --> 00:04:52,378
but you're doing
an East Sussex accent,

117
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and I come from West Sussex.

118
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,861
Ooh, Alan, zing.

119
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Oh.

120
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Our chariot awaits. Here we go.

121
00:05:01,909 --> 00:05:04,303
All right, well,
you kids have fun.

122
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,784
Don't eat anything endangered.

123
00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:09,787
You really do look fabulous.

124
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:11,745
-Thank you.
-Thank you so much.

125
00:05:13,660 --> 00:05:16,881
Oh, David. Hello. See you soon.

126
00:05:20,406 --> 00:05:22,277
What is up, cousin?

127
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:26,543
Oh, you know, just excited
about a quiet night in

128
00:05:26,586 --> 00:05:28,719
at home, by myself.

129
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,895
I like the sound of that.
I'll join you.

130
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,334
So what is up

131
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,423
in Freddy Land?

132
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,514
Is there a-a Mrs. Freddy
on the horizon?

133
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,909
Nope. No girlfriend
at the moment.

134
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That's a shame.

135
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,476
-Mm.
-You sure there's nothing

136
00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,652
going on between you and Eve?

137
00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:51,524
-What? No.
-Why not?

138
00:05:51,568 --> 00:05:52,786
I mean, you have
all this history,

139
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,484
you've lived together
for a while.

140
00:05:54,527 --> 00:05:56,702
Also, you've seen each other
in your pajamas.

141
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,795
David, you know she used to date
my buddy before he...

142
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,667
Trust me,
nothing can happen there.

143
00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:06,583
Cool, cool. Smart.

144
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,673
In that case,
I'm gonna ask her out.

145
00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:12,458
What? No. You can't ask her out.

146
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:13,981
Got it. You love her.
I'll back off.

147
00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:17,855
Okay, David.
Please listen to me.

148
00:06:17,898 --> 00:06:20,553
I don't have any feelings
for Eve.

149
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,468
Okay? We're just friends.

150
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,949
Understood.
I'm clear for takeoff.

151
00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:26,820
No. Oh, my God.
Y-You're a teenager.

152
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:29,606
She's almost 30. Her boyfriend
died barely a year ago.

153
00:06:29,649 --> 00:06:31,477
She has a baby
you're not even allowed to hold.

154
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,523
A baby I'm afraid to hold.

155
00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:35,699
And trust me,

156
00:06:35,742 --> 00:06:37,744
she wants this.

157
00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:40,878
You know what? Go for it.

158
00:06:40,921 --> 00:06:42,706
Ask her out. See what happens.

159
00:06:42,749 --> 00:06:44,838
-Thank you for your blessing.
-Mm-hmm.

160
00:06:46,579 --> 00:06:49,321
Eve, what a lovely surprise.

161
00:06:49,364 --> 00:06:51,497
Why? I live here.

162
00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:58,417
What? Are you serious?

163
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:00,898
He cleared you for takeoff?

164
00:07:09,689 --> 00:07:13,432
This place is so stuffy.

165
00:07:14,389 --> 00:07:17,218
I love it.

166
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,438
Looks like the sort of place
you retire to

167
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,484
after a long day hunting man.

168
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,706
Okay, every second counts.

169
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,447
We have two hours
to meet and impress

170
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:29,796
as many members as possible,

171
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,537
after which they will
get together and vote

172
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,365
to select the new inductees.

173
00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:34,627
The most important person

174
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,716
is the chair of the econ
department, Dean Melvin.

175
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,589
He is the head of the society.

176
00:07:42,417 --> 00:07:43,680
What are you doing?

177
00:07:43,723 --> 00:07:45,856
I'm trying on a priceless
antique gauntlet.

178
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,032
-What's it look like I'm doing?
-Why?

179
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:50,948
Because the helmet
would mess up my hair.

180
00:07:50,991 --> 00:07:54,342
I do not want a repeat
of the Bullingdon club incident.

181
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:56,910
Please take the gauntlet off
before someone sees you.

182
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,266
It's stuck.

183
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,355
What do you mean, it's stuck?
Give me that.

184
00:08:08,835 --> 00:08:12,491
Curse the tiny hands
of the 14th century chevaliers.

185
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,581
Founders incoming. Be cool.

186
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,583
-Dr. Finch.
-Oh.

187
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:19,585
- Glad you could make it.
- Oh.

188
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:20,934
Dr. Bowen, Dr. Sharma.

189
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,675
It's so great to see you.

190
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,503
These are my colleagues
Dr. Crane and Dr. Cornwall.

191
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:26,287
-Yeah, lovely to see you.
Oh, thank you so much. Hi.
-Hello.

192
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,941
Charmed.

193
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,423
Dr. Finch, everyone

194
00:08:31,466 --> 00:08:33,556
is buzzing about how you're

195
00:08:33,599 --> 00:08:35,731
transforming
the psych department.

196
00:08:35,775 --> 00:08:38,429
Thank you, but Dr. Crane here
is the true game-changer.

197
00:08:38,472 --> 00:08:41,693
Oh, now, Dr. Cornwall
invented game-changing.

198
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:44,349
Oh, please, game-changing
was game over

199
00:08:44,392 --> 00:08:46,830
until Dr. Finch changed
the game-changing game.

200
00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:48,309
Oh.

201
00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:51,269
You all sound like
real game-changers.

202
00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:53,488
I'm thinking the same thing.

203
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,273
We could use that around here.

204
00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:57,318
Plus, it is refreshing
to see such a spirit

205
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,711
of camaraderie.

206
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:02,628
Not everyone here
is always that supportive.

207
00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:04,848
You should know how
to parallel park by now.

208
00:09:04,891 --> 00:09:06,458
We were on a hill.

209
00:09:08,503 --> 00:09:09,940
We killed it.

210
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,898
Frasier, your alliance idea
was brilliant.

211
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:14,640
I think this calls for a drink.

212
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,511
You know, usually
I refrain from statements

213
00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,035
that might come back
to haunt me,

214
00:09:18,078 --> 00:09:20,777
but I believe that we are
going to get into this club,

215
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:23,649
and nothing is going
to stop that from happening.

216
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:26,434
Well, it is a great group
of candidates.

217
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:27,522
It sure is.

218
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,437
It's too bad we only have room

219
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:32,179
for two new members this year.

220
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,974
So, two spots

221
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,803
and...

222
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:48,631
three of us.

223
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,679
Puts our alliance
in a precarious situation.

224
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,943
What to do? What to do?

225
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,559
You know, it's times like this
I like to remind myself,

226
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:07,301
Dr. Crane, I hired you.

227
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:09,652
Yes, but what's more important:

228
00:10:09,695 --> 00:10:11,697
a job that forces you to work

229
00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,657
a soul-crushing
eight hours a week,

230
00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,833
or a decades-long
friendship with a man

231
00:10:16,876 --> 00:10:19,574
whom you recently described
as ravishing?

232
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:23,970
Or maybe
the strongest bond of all

233
00:10:24,014 --> 00:10:27,408
is between two people,
a man and a woman,

234
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,019
whose faces have never been
on a billboard.

235
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,803
All right, let's just stop it.

236
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,718
Two of us can still get in

237
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,981
if we maintain
our alliance. Please,

238
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:37,723
just remember the inspiring
words of Cincinnatus

239
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:39,333
as he addressed his troops,

240
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,554
"Oblivisci societatis.

241
00:10:42,597 --> 00:10:46,645
Pascamus eam lupis."

242
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,431
Yes.

243
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,869
To which his crowd cheered,

244
00:10:52,912 --> 00:10:55,654
"Sub curru laciamus eam."

245
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:58,396
Ah, exactly.

246
00:10:58,439 --> 00:11:00,615
And then Cincinnatus said,

247
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,487
in the spirit of harmony,

248
00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,924
"Ita callidi sumus,

249
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:08,885
plane ea Latine nescit."

250
00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:15,892
I'm so glad we're a team.

251
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:22,986
-Ah, here comes
the happy couple.
-You let him do this?

252
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,901
Well, in my defense,
I thought it would be funny.

253
00:11:24,944 --> 00:11:27,773
And, in my further defense,
it was.

254
00:11:27,817 --> 00:11:30,341
It's not that he asked me out.

255
00:11:30,384 --> 00:11:31,908
It's how he asked me out.

256
00:11:31,951 --> 00:11:34,867
What, this charmer? Come on,
couldn't have been that bad.

257
00:11:38,566 --> 00:11:39,742
How'd you ask her out?

258
00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:43,920
Stop. Stop.

259
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,617
Wow.

260
00:11:45,660 --> 00:11:46,749
This is not my forte.

261
00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:49,360
I'm not suave like you are.

262
00:11:49,403 --> 00:11:50,970
You've kissed, what,

263
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:53,320
four, five girls?

264
00:11:53,364 --> 00:11:56,933
Four... David.

265
00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,586
I'm Mr. July

266
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,676
in the firefighters' calendar.

267
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,809
I'm a man in uniform
with a full head of hair.

268
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,725
I-I carry women
out of burning buildings.

269
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,815
You think they just want
to shake my hand after?

270
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,425
Ooh, big talk
coming from the guy

271
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:12,949
sitting at home reading...

272
00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:15,821
Little Women.What?

273
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,955
I'd like to see you try coming
of age during the Civil War.

274
00:12:18,998 --> 00:12:21,958
Your cousin has no idea
how to talk to girls.

275
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:24,656
It would be very nice
if you would help him.

276
00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:25,962
But...

277
00:12:30,009 --> 00:12:32,838
Okay, fine.

278
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,971
David, tonight
I'm gonna teach you

279
00:12:35,014 --> 00:12:38,844
how to strike up conversation
with a real live human woman.

280
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,324
That's right,

281
00:12:40,367 --> 00:12:43,675
I am gonna give you the gift

282
00:12:43,718 --> 00:12:46,330
of game.

283
00:12:46,373 --> 00:12:48,898
Loser. Okay, you know what?

284
00:12:48,941 --> 00:12:50,464
I'm gonna stay and help.

285
00:12:50,508 --> 00:12:52,858
Really? How many girls
have you kissed?

286
00:12:52,902 --> 00:12:55,513
More than you, babe.

287
00:12:56,731 --> 00:12:58,037
Oh.

288
00:12:58,081 --> 00:13:00,779
There he is, Dean Melvin.
Okay, um,

289
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,563
I need to get some air
before I speak to him.

290
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,391
-Do not start without me.
-No, of course.
-Of course, of course.

291
00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:06,654
Let's go, let's go, let's go.

292
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:10,528
-What a pleasure to meet you.
-Oh,

293
00:13:10,571 --> 00:13:13,357
likewise. Sorry, I'm just
looking for a bottle opener.

294
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:14,793
Oh, well, allow me.

295
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,103
Thank you.

296
00:13:20,146 --> 00:13:23,280
Wow, wish you two
were around all the time.

297
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:26,718
I think
that could be arranged.

298
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,594
Dean Melvin, hello.

299
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:36,032
"Voluptatem, ut semper."

300
00:13:36,075 --> 00:13:38,904
Oh, Dr. Finch. I'd forgotten
you're a fellow Latin buff.

301
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,428
Not a very useful skill
these days, is it?

302
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:43,300
Oh, you'd be surprised.

303
00:13:44,779 --> 00:13:46,825
Uh, where are your colleagues?

304
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:49,436
I think they think that
schmoozing with the waiter

305
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,525
is going to get them
into the club.

306
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,571
You know, something
I'm wondering, actually, is,

307
00:13:53,614 --> 00:13:55,921
what is your take on Keynesian

308
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,010
theory versus neoclassical?

309
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:00,447
What's the difference?

310
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:02,623
Fascinating.

311
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,279
So, what you're saying is

312
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,673
they're really different sides

313
00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:11,241
of the same coin.

314
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,547
You're a trip, man.

315
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:18,248
-Can I get you a drink?
-Oh, we should be
getting you a drink.

316
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,597
Where's that damn waiter?

317
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,773
I don't know. Where is he?

318
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:27,866
-Almost ready.
-What's with the whistle?

319
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:29,302
Well, at the fire station
we run drills

320
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:30,434
till we get things right.

321
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,088
Tonight you

322
00:14:32,131 --> 00:14:34,699
are gonna master walking up to
a woman and making small talk.

323
00:14:34,742 --> 00:14:36,440
Eve will be your practice girl.

324
00:14:36,483 --> 00:14:40,531
Can we not refer to me
as a practice girl?

325
00:14:40,574 --> 00:14:43,447
Okay, uh, please
approach your...

326
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,796
rehearsal human...

327
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,277
...and introduce yourself.

328
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,410
Hello, milady.

329
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:53,805
She's not Maid Marian. Go back,

330
00:14:53,848 --> 00:14:56,982
try again.
Speak like people your own age.

331
00:14:58,505 --> 00:14:59,593
Sup, queen?

332
00:15:00,855 --> 00:15:01,769
Nope. Do it again.

333
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,815
This is really hard.

334
00:15:03,858 --> 00:15:06,992
Are you sure I have to talk
to someone to date them?

335
00:15:07,036 --> 00:15:09,821
Uh, let's just pretend
you're at a club.

336
00:15:09,864 --> 00:15:11,518
Talk about your surroundings.

337
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,487
It's really loud in here!

338
00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,881
Yeah, that was my bad.

339
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:29,449
Let's say it's a coffee shop.

340
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:30,581
How loud is it?

341
00:15:30,624 --> 00:15:32,539
You're the only
two people there.

342
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,019
Why? Does it have
a bad health score?

343
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:36,891
-David.
-Sorry, sorry.

344
00:15:36,935 --> 00:15:39,416
Who's your favorite magician?

345
00:15:40,156 --> 00:15:42,549
So, you want to hear
some facts about whales?

346
00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:45,422
What's your favorite word?

347
00:15:45,465 --> 00:15:47,250
Mine's a tie between
"conquistador" and "lemon."

348
00:15:48,729 --> 00:15:50,470
I'm a gentleman,
so I'll ask first,

349
00:15:50,514 --> 00:15:51,819
may I smell your hair?

350
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,519
Want to guess
how many toes I have?

351
00:15:55,562 --> 00:15:56,999
Hint, it's lower.

352
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,745
Why am I so bad at this
when my father

353
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,747
was such a ladies' man?

354
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,968
You're making this way too hard.
Keep it simple.

355
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:12,536
Confidence is attractive.

356
00:16:12,579 --> 00:16:14,581
Stand straight.
Freddy, show him.

357
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:19,586
Then just try
to make eye contact. Freddy?

358
00:16:22,589 --> 00:16:24,504
If she looks away,
she's not feeling it,

359
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:27,290
but if she looks back,
she might be.

360
00:16:29,596 --> 00:16:33,296
Then just to make conversation.
Freddy?

361
00:16:33,339 --> 00:16:35,428
Hey, I noticed

362
00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:37,430
the book you were reading.
Any good?

363
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:39,867
Yeah, it's so good.

364
00:16:39,911 --> 00:16:41,869
-I actually already finished it.
-Oh.

365
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,742
-Do you want to borrow it?
-I'd love to,

366
00:16:44,785 --> 00:16:48,311
but then I'd need
to get your number.

367
00:16:48,354 --> 00:16:50,922
You know, so I can return it.

368
00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:53,446
Sure.

369
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,622
I hope you're a fast reader.

370
00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,496
Wow.

371
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,673
I'm really bad
at reading people,

372
00:17:02,716 --> 00:17:04,675
but I could've sworn
you two were into each other.

373
00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:08,592
Great acting. Even you, Eve.

374
00:17:12,813 --> 00:17:14,772
So you play quite
an important role here?

375
00:17:14,814 --> 00:17:17,340
I'm just here to serve people.

376
00:17:17,382 --> 00:17:20,864
Such a noble way
of looking at it.

377
00:17:20,908 --> 00:17:24,173
That's what I keep trying
to tell my mom.

378
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,828
Well, she's a fool
if she's not proud.

379
00:17:28,655 --> 00:17:30,657
You guys get me.

380
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:34,444
Listen, I should probably
go out and make the rounds.

381
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:37,534
Yes, of course. We just wanted
some face time with the dean.

382
00:17:37,577 --> 00:17:39,797
Who's Dean?

383
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,234
Well, you are.
Dean Melvin.

384
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:45,324
I'm Kevin.
That guy's Dean Melvin.

385
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:54,986
What are you doing?

386
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,423
I'm attempting
to flip her the bird.

387
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:58,990
Hey, listen,

388
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:01,645
if you guys want
to get high later,

389
00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:03,516
just let me know.

390
00:18:08,695 --> 00:18:10,654
I'm in.

391
00:18:10,697 --> 00:18:12,917
Dean Melvin loved me
and said that he will make sure

392
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,312
that I am accepted,
but, more importantly,

393
00:18:16,355 --> 00:18:18,705
"Servus te amavit?"

394
00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,794
Well, he asked us to get high,

395
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:23,188
so I think he liked us
pretty well.

396
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,671
Well, good news for you is that

397
00:18:27,714 --> 00:18:29,455
Dean Melvin is interested
in my recommendation

398
00:18:29,499 --> 00:18:31,022
for the final spot.

399
00:18:31,065 --> 00:18:34,025
And, for the record, I am
very open to accepting bribes.

400
00:18:34,068 --> 00:18:37,420
Oh, please, Olivia,
our friendship is rock solid.

401
00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:39,422
We're not about to start
competing with each other...

402
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:40,510
I'll give you my son.

403
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,902
What?

404
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,732
Don't play so coy, sister. I've
seen the way you look at him.

405
00:18:46,646 --> 00:18:48,561
I know when he showers.
I can get you...

406
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:49,954
What the hell am I doing?

407
00:18:49,997 --> 00:18:52,826
What you're doing
is making a deal. Keep talking.

408
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,873
I know I've said no
a hundred times, Olivia,

409
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:58,354
but now I am prepared...

410
00:18:58,397 --> 00:19:00,573
to go ice-skating with you.

411
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:03,533
Alan, do not mess with me.

412
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:04,925
Oh, come on, it's obvious

413
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,362
who's Founders' Society
material around here.

414
00:19:06,405 --> 00:19:07,798
Hint: it's the one of us

415
00:19:07,841 --> 00:19:10,235
who doesn't need a can opener
to check his watch.

416
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,671
So we're just

417
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:14,500
trading jabs now, are we? Fine.

418
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:18,417
Then it is time
to throw down the gauntlet.

419
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,726
-Oh, that would've been so good.
-Hmm.

420
00:19:22,769 --> 00:19:24,902
Decide between yourselves
and then let me know.

421
00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:26,512
Right now Alan is ahead.

422
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:28,645
Text Monica.

423
00:19:28,688 --> 00:19:30,386
"I finally found
a skating partner."

424
00:19:30,429 --> 00:19:32,475
"I finally found
a mating partner."

425
00:19:32,518 --> 00:19:34,564
That is much better.

426
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,566
All right.

427
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,263
I think I've come up
with a solution

428
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:39,395
that'll make us both happy.

429
00:19:39,438 --> 00:19:40,526
Go on.

430
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,311
You bow out.

431
00:19:42,354 --> 00:19:44,400
What? Why should I bow out?

432
00:19:44,443 --> 00:19:46,750
Because this is important to me,
and as far as I can tell,

433
00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:48,273
nothing is important to you.

434
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,796
Plus, you owe me.

435
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,016
I owe you? What the hell
does that mean?

436
00:19:52,059 --> 00:19:53,800
You know perfectly well
what it means.

437
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:56,542
Explain it to me
like I'm a student at Tufts.

438
00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:00,590
You...

439
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:03,288
are the one...

440
00:20:03,332 --> 00:20:06,944
who wanted to steal
Oscar Wilde's cane.

441
00:20:06,987 --> 00:20:08,554
You...

442
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:11,949
are the one who wanted to play
with that poodle.

443
00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:17,302
You take nothing seriously,

444
00:20:17,346 --> 00:20:20,784
and I am always the one
who has to pay a price for it.

445
00:20:20,827 --> 00:20:24,004
You make me sound
like some reckless buffoon.

446
00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:36,756
Anyway, this place
isn't that great, you know.

447
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,716
A huge crack in that table.

448
00:20:45,504 --> 00:20:48,333
Will you please, please

449
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:51,728
not ruin this one thing for me?

450
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,774
I see.

451
00:20:55,732 --> 00:20:58,082
I had no idea
this is how you felt about us,

452
00:20:58,125 --> 00:20:59,344
and I'm very sorry.

453
00:20:59,388 --> 00:21:00,867
I will of course

454
00:21:00,911 --> 00:21:03,305
bow out, and I'll help you
secure that final spot.

455
00:21:03,348 --> 00:21:04,958
Thank you. Now,

456
00:21:05,002 --> 00:21:07,483
let's go talk me up
to some of the other members.

457
00:21:07,526 --> 00:21:08,745
We're almost out of time.

458
00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:12,009
Uh, if I may, uh,
one tiny request first.

459
00:21:12,052 --> 00:21:15,360
I'd like you to help me meet
a rather special lady.

460
00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:19,582
Really? Who is the intoxicating
little creature, eh?

461
00:21:21,845 --> 00:21:23,890
She's beautiful, isn't she?

462
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:26,676
Gorgeous. Now, can we go?

463
00:21:26,719 --> 00:21:28,721
You act like you've never seen
a bottle of alcohol before.

464
00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:35,424
It's a vintage
Chateau Chien Blanc.

465
00:21:35,467 --> 00:21:37,861
Oh, I'll give you two
some privacy.

466
00:21:37,904 --> 00:21:41,473
I noticed something on the way
in. I just want to check it.

467
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:44,041
Ah, Lady Chien.

468
00:21:44,084 --> 00:21:47,000
Well, I don't mean to brag,
but I was right.

469
00:21:47,044 --> 00:21:49,046
-About?
-Well, on our way in here,

470
00:21:49,089 --> 00:21:53,355
I accidentally locked the door,
and we're stuck down here.

471
00:21:53,398 --> 00:21:54,791
What?

472
00:21:54,834 --> 00:21:57,620
Yeah, I know, I know,
we're both upset.

473
00:21:57,663 --> 00:21:59,056
If only there were

474
00:21:59,099 --> 00:22:01,885
something in this room
that could help

475
00:22:01,928 --> 00:22:04,496
calm our nerves.

476
00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:09,545
All right, David,
this is the final drill.

477
00:22:09,588 --> 00:22:11,329
Releasing you into the wild.

478
00:22:11,373 --> 00:22:13,026
Remember, the goal
is just to meet someone

479
00:22:13,070 --> 00:22:16,639
and have a conversation.
You see anyone interesting?

480
00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:18,989
I don't know if I can do this.

481
00:22:19,032 --> 00:22:20,730
I forgot how people talk.

482
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:23,733
Maybe I could just build
a girlfriend. That seems easier.

483
00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,735
I don't disagree, but, uh,

484
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,432
I think you should
give it a try.

485
00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:28,738
I need a drink.

486
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:32,524
He's joking about building
a girlfriend, right?

487
00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:35,309
I don't know.
I've seen the schematics.

488
00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:38,878
Tonic soda, grenadine back,
don't skimp on the ice.

489
00:22:39,836 --> 00:22:41,707
Sorry.

490
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:45,276
Just taking the edge off.
I'm... I'm really nervous.

491
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:48,714
Oh, I get it.

492
00:22:49,715 --> 00:22:50,847
I'm the same way.

493
00:22:50,890 --> 00:22:52,588
Uh, sometimes, when I'm nervous,

494
00:22:52,631 --> 00:22:55,678
I close my eyes
and recite state capitals.

495
00:22:55,721 --> 00:22:57,462
I do the same thing
with presidents.

496
00:22:57,506 --> 00:22:59,595
Yes. We can both say Lincoln.

497
00:23:01,684 --> 00:23:04,251
Uh, you know what
really calms me down?

498
00:23:04,295 --> 00:23:05,601
Sniffing old books?

499
00:23:05,644 --> 00:23:08,691
Get out of my head.

500
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:11,345
Th-There's an old bookstore
around the corner,

501
00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:12,477
if you want to go check it out.

502
00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,653
I'd love to.

503
00:23:17,656 --> 00:23:18,962
Sorry, guys.

504
00:23:19,005 --> 00:23:21,791
I-I don't think
it's gonna work out tonight.

505
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:24,271
I'll do better next time,
I promise.

506
00:23:26,535 --> 00:23:28,450
Milady.

507
00:23:33,498 --> 00:23:36,588
Did he just pick up a girl
without even realizing it?

508
00:23:36,632 --> 00:23:40,287
You know, now and then,
in this workaday world,

509
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:43,421
things do happen in a delightful

510
00:23:43,465 --> 00:23:45,510
storybook fashion,

511
00:23:45,554 --> 00:23:47,469
and what a comfort it is.

512
00:23:48,644 --> 00:23:49,819
Is that a quote
from Little Women?

513
00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:51,298
It's a classic for a reason.

514
00:23:54,388 --> 00:23:55,825
No signal down here, of course.

515
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,828
So, the Founders' Society
mixer is almost over,

516
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:01,657
the only people we've mixed with
are each other and Kevin.

517
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:04,834
And, again, I'm sorry.
I promise you, in future,

518
00:24:04,877 --> 00:24:08,620
I won't pull you into any more
of my silly antics.

519
00:24:08,664 --> 00:24:11,449
Now, just put your hands
like this.

520
00:24:11,493 --> 00:24:12,798
Thank you.

521
00:24:14,408 --> 00:24:15,584
Alan.

522
00:24:18,587 --> 00:24:20,589
Well, we're gonna be
down here awhile.

523
00:24:20,632 --> 00:24:22,895
We might as well have something
warm in our bellies.

524
00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:26,246
Oh, yes.

525
00:24:26,290 --> 00:24:29,249
This is a big joke. Does
anything actually matter to you?

526
00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:32,862
I can think of two things
I care deeply about:

527
00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:35,821
my cat and you.

528
00:24:37,780 --> 00:24:40,565
I was sure you were
going to say Scotch.

529
00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:45,396
I know I can be flippant
about things, and that

530
00:24:45,439 --> 00:24:48,573
you've had to
pay the price, so...

531
00:24:48,617 --> 00:24:50,923
I'm sorry if I've
mucked things up again.

532
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:54,405
Thank you.

533
00:24:54,448 --> 00:24:56,668
And I'm sorry if I seem to take

534
00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:58,670
things a bit too seriously
sometimes.

535
00:24:58,714 --> 00:25:00,977
I've always wondered
why that is.

536
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,371
You know, it's funny.

537
00:25:06,504 --> 00:25:08,550
The thing about me is, I...

538
00:25:08,593 --> 00:25:12,249
I've always wanted to fit in
somewhere, you know?

539
00:25:12,292 --> 00:25:13,903
I mean, even when I was

540
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:17,341
back in Boston, I-I used to be
a regular at a bar, and yet...

541
00:25:17,384 --> 00:25:20,431
Nobody knew your name?

542
00:25:21,867 --> 00:25:25,479
Well, not-not exactly,
but, um...

543
00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:28,613
I still have this longing

544
00:25:28,657 --> 00:25:30,397
to find the place
where I belong.

545
00:25:30,441 --> 00:25:33,662
Ugh, have you still got passion?

546
00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:36,621
We're in our 60s, man.

547
00:25:36,665 --> 00:25:39,450
What's wrong with "good enough"?
What's wrong with "this'll do"?

548
00:25:39,493 --> 00:25:41,670
What's wrong with

549
00:25:41,713 --> 00:25:44,411
limping towards the finish line?

550
00:25:46,979 --> 00:25:49,286
What's wrong? Well, let's see.

551
00:25:49,329 --> 00:25:51,680
We're locked in a basement,

552
00:25:51,723 --> 00:25:54,291
uh, you've got a, a gauntlet

553
00:25:54,334 --> 00:25:56,423
stuck on your arm.

554
00:25:56,467 --> 00:25:58,469
And you're drinking
century-old booze

555
00:25:58,512 --> 00:26:00,645
with your best-looking friend.

556
00:26:01,559 --> 00:26:03,561
Sounds delightful.

557
00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:06,346
The only thing I would change...

558
00:26:06,390 --> 00:26:08,740
is that terrible Scotch.

559
00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:12,396
Why am I chewing?

560
00:26:15,704 --> 00:26:18,532
Well, if nothing else,
consider this,

561
00:26:18,576 --> 00:26:21,666
we've got the sixth story
to bore everyone with.

562
00:26:21,710 --> 00:26:24,756
That's a hell
of a silver lining.

563
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,889
You know,
I don't remember

564
00:26:26,932 --> 00:26:29,500
one thing about
that Bullingdon Club,

565
00:26:29,543 --> 00:26:32,242
but I'll never forget
being tackled by those

566
00:26:32,285 --> 00:26:34,897
rabid librarian bullies.

567
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:36,507
Gosh.

568
00:26:36,550 --> 00:26:39,597
That is something
I will always remember.

569
00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,207
Me, too.

570
00:26:41,251 --> 00:26:44,733
So you're no longer mad at me
for messing up your evening?

571
00:26:44,776 --> 00:26:46,517
No, of course not.

572
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:49,738
Good, because I lied
about the door being locked.

573
00:26:49,781 --> 00:26:52,262
What? You mean
the door's been unlocked

574
00:26:52,305 --> 00:26:55,352
-all this time?
-No, no, have a look.
There isn't a door.

575
00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:02,228
What? You locked me in a room
without a door?

576
00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:05,754
Not bad for a reckless buffoon.

577
00:27:07,451 --> 00:27:09,714
No, I just thought we ought to,
uh, hash things out.

578
00:27:11,542 --> 00:27:13,196
I've certainly
learned my lesson.

579
00:27:13,239 --> 00:27:16,286
Who cares
about this ridiculous club?

580
00:27:16,329 --> 00:27:19,463
I've got you. I don't need them.

581
00:27:20,507 --> 00:27:23,859
Dr. Crane. I've been dying
to speak with you all night.

582
00:27:23,902 --> 00:27:27,471
We would be honored if you
would like to join our society.

583
00:27:42,268 --> 00:27:43,748
I'd love to.

584
00:27:43,792 --> 00:27:46,272
Wonderful.

585
00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:55,542
The fact that you paused at all
is a huge step forward.

586
00:28:03,812 --> 00:28:06,249
Y'all know how this goes.

587
00:28:06,292 --> 00:28:09,252
♪ Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a-callin'♪

588
00:28:09,295 --> 00:28:13,256
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪

589
00:28:13,952 --> 00:28:16,563
♪ And maybe I seem
a bit confused♪

590
00:28:16,607 --> 00:28:19,349
Yeah, maybe.
But I got you pegged.

591
00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:24,441
♪ But I don't know
what to do with those♪

592
00:28:24,484 --> 00:28:27,749
♪ Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs♪

593
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,318
♪ Life's callin' again.♪

594
00:28:32,971 --> 00:28:36,279
Good night, everybody!

595
00:28:38,803 --> 00:28:40,762
Captioned by
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