1 00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,050 ♪ 2 00:00:11,228 --> 00:00:12,577 But I need you. 3 00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,753 I don't believe you. Prove it to me. 4 00:00:14,796 --> 00:00:16,972 Please, I can't do this without you. 5 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,018 What is the word on the street these days 6 00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:20,976 about herringbone? 7 00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:23,805 -Not now, Dad. -FRASIER: It's all right, all right. 8 00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:26,721 I've got some options in the downstairs closet here. 9 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,375 I can't do this alone. 10 00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:31,117 So tell me, are you in or are you out? 11 00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,552 Because if I walk out that door... 12 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,729 Is houndstooth too whimsical? 13 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:38,081 Please, Dad. 14 00:00:39,212 --> 00:00:41,736 Because if I walk out that door and you follow me, 15 00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,304 maybe... 16 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,697 we'll start a movement. 17 00:00:48,743 --> 00:00:51,398 I want to love it. I do. I-I do, we ju... I'm just... 18 00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:54,836 -I'm not buying you in the role. -Oh, what do you know? You... 19 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,969 You're judging me on an acting scale 20 00:00:57,012 --> 00:00:58,927 of one to Backdraft. 21 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,190 Backdraftis a cinematic masterpiece. 22 00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:02,017 No, Backdraftis fire porn. 23 00:01:02,061 --> 00:01:04,758 Now, I know what you two are thinking: 24 00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:08,111 "here comes the Harvard lecturer in his hackneyed tweed." 25 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:12,376 No, but I was thinking, "How long is it gonna 26 00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:14,465 take my dad to mention he's teaching at Harvard?" 27 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,554 Under a minute. It's impressive. 28 00:01:17,598 --> 00:01:19,861 So, just a bit longer than you actually attended Harvard? 29 00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:23,865 So, mock me if you will, but this is the beginning 30 00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:25,519 of a new academic era for me. 31 00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,826 Frasier Crane is stepping into a world where he can 32 00:01:27,869 --> 00:01:30,785 -impart wisdom and influence young minds. -FREDDY: Okay, Dad, 33 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,397 no one loves hearing Frasier Crane talk about 34 00:01:33,439 --> 00:01:35,050 Frasier Crane more than I do, 35 00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,575 -but Eve's got a big audition this week. -Mm-hmm. 36 00:01:37,618 --> 00:01:39,794 It's a play about a girl who works at a slaughterhouse 37 00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:41,927 and she convinces her coworkers to unionize 38 00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:45,235 through passion, grit and a push-up bra. 39 00:01:45,278 --> 00:01:47,367 Well, if the dialogue I overheard was any indication, 40 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:49,456 then the cows are the lucky ones. 41 00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,372 Dad, could you just... 42 00:01:52,415 --> 00:01:54,026 could you give us a little peace and quiet? 43 00:01:54,069 --> 00:01:55,723 Oh, I'm sorry, yes, if only Eve had a place 44 00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,334 where she could be on her own. 45 00:01:57,377 --> 00:01:59,336 Perhaps someplace that I've already paid for, 46 00:01:59,379 --> 00:02:01,164 just directly across the hall. 47 00:02:01,207 --> 00:02:02,948 Oh, wait, 48 00:02:02,991 --> 00:02:04,515 aren't you late for the boarding school where you teach 49 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:07,126 unruly adolescents the true meaning of poetry? 50 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,823 [knocking] 51 00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:11,739 I'll have you know tweed's sophisticated wool 52 00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,742 and sensible elbow patches are emblematic 53 00:02:14,786 --> 00:02:17,092 of the intellect and compassion it takes 54 00:02:17,136 --> 00:02:18,877 to inspire young minds. 55 00:02:19,965 --> 00:02:21,184 Are we twinsies? 56 00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:23,664 I'll change. 57 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,060 Don't you have class right now? 58 00:02:28,103 --> 00:02:29,714 I'm here to take your father under my wing 59 00:02:29,757 --> 00:02:31,629 and help him navigate his first week at Harvard. 60 00:02:31,672 --> 00:02:34,066 I'll be the Sancho Panza to your Quixote. 61 00:02:34,109 --> 00:02:35,372 All right, David. 62 00:02:35,415 --> 00:02:37,634 You know, I know my way around Harvard. 63 00:02:37,678 --> 00:02:39,289 After all, I did go to school there. 64 00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:41,247 Wait, you did? 'Cause I don't think 65 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:42,770 you've ever told us that story before. 66 00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:46,034 See, now, that's good acting. 67 00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:56,871 Well, if it isn't world-renowned psychiatrist, TV personality 68 00:02:56,915 --> 00:03:00,571 and newly minted Harvard educator Dr. Frasier Crane. 69 00:03:00,614 --> 00:03:03,748 Please, we're friends. Just call me world-renowned. 70 00:03:05,271 --> 00:03:06,620 And to what do I owe the pleasure? 71 00:03:06,664 --> 00:03:07,882 Oh, as I told Alan, I came here 72 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,362 to christen my newest ship. 73 00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,408 And I thought that meant there'd be champagne. 74 00:03:11,451 --> 00:03:13,540 So I brought you a cappuccino. 75 00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,934 You can imagine my disappointment. 76 00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:17,414 Welcome aboard. 77 00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,067 It's been years since I've had anyone here 78 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:22,157 with any passion, excitement or even vital signs. 79 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:26,336 -I-I also brought you this. -Oh. 80 00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:30,035 Oh, a replica "thinking cap" from my old talk show. 81 00:03:30,078 --> 00:03:32,907 How fun. 82 00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,735 Oh, he students will go nuts if you break it out for them. 83 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:38,043 Yes, well, you know, I've put all that behind me. 84 00:03:38,086 --> 00:03:39,653 Gone are the days when I would dole out 85 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,481 ridiculous advice to my TV audience. 86 00:03:41,525 --> 00:03:44,354 Sure, sure. You-you don't have to use it. 87 00:03:44,396 --> 00:03:46,399 It's custom made, overnight shipping. 88 00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:48,749 The point is, we're so glad you're here. 89 00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:51,098 Glad? Thanks to your popularity, 90 00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:52,971 hardly any students have signed up for my class, 91 00:03:53,014 --> 00:03:54,320 so I'm ecstatic. 92 00:03:58,933 --> 00:04:00,587 [student whoops] 93 00:04:03,198 --> 00:04:04,417 Look around, uncle. 94 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,593 You are the rosy-cheeked debutante at 95 00:04:06,637 --> 00:04:07,942 this ball of the brains. 96 00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:09,335 I am the strapping, young cadet... 97 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:10,380 -Go sit down, David. -Okay. 98 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:17,038 Welcome to a History of Psychology. 99 00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:19,562 In this semester, I will be your Virgil, leading you 100 00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:21,565 not through the circles of Hades but through the... 101 00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:23,567 Excuse me. I have a question. 102 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,220 Oh, well, I can ramp back into 103 00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,135 my Virgil speech in a moment. Uh, yes? 104 00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:30,182 I think my boyfriend might be cheating on me. 105 00:04:30,225 --> 00:04:32,226 Should I confront him? 106 00:04:33,838 --> 00:04:35,622 Well, I... I am sorry to hear that, 107 00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,798 but, uh, this is not my old TV show. 108 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:41,019 I'm not giving out any personal advice. Uh... Yes? 109 00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,500 I have your first call-in question. 110 00:04:43,543 --> 00:04:46,067 She's from Phoenix, Arizona. She's my mom. 111 00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,069 She wants to know if you're as handsome in person 112 00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,680 as you were on TV. 113 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,638 [chuckling] 114 00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,206 That is not for me to say. 115 00:04:54,249 --> 00:04:56,991 Peoplemagazine said, "Yes, absolutely," but... 116 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,384 we're getting off track. Now, now, 117 00:04:58,428 --> 00:05:00,560 to our-our first lecture. 118 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,388 What made 119 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:05,391 Wilhelm Maximilian Wundt tick? 120 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:07,480 Hmm? Our story begins 121 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,482 -in Mannheim, Germany. -DAVID: Uncle, 122 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,397 this guy's not taking notes. He's Googling you. 123 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:14,182 Stop searching "Frasier Crane height." 124 00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:15,967 It's all right, David. 125 00:05:16,010 --> 00:05:17,360 No, it's not okay. 126 00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:18,622 Why does he need to know your net worth? 127 00:05:18,665 --> 00:05:20,319 A man's true value has always be... 128 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,408 Oh, my God, uncle, you're like a Rockefeller. 129 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,279 [students murmuring] 130 00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:27,282 Kind of makes your Christmas gifts seem ungenerous. 131 00:05:28,327 --> 00:05:30,721 All right, all right. That's enough, that's enough! 132 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,419 I'd like to make one thing absolutely clear. 133 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:36,030 This class will have nothing to do with my career, 134 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,163 my public life or my old TV show. 135 00:05:38,206 --> 00:05:41,558 I am here to lead you on a challenging academic odyssey. 136 00:05:41,601 --> 00:05:44,735 And if you are here for any other reason... 137 00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,825 ...then I invite you to leave now. 138 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,232 Great. 139 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,628 Well, we've 140 00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:10,587 separated the wheat from the chaff. 141 00:06:10,630 --> 00:06:12,371 Now... 142 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,374 ...are there any serious questions? 143 00:06:18,246 --> 00:06:19,683 I'm six foot, one. 144 00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:23,426 Tried to finish the lecture. 145 00:06:23,469 --> 00:06:25,210 As I continued to talk, their eyes 146 00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:27,560 just started to glaze over as if they weren't even... 147 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,523 Alan. 148 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:36,482 -Alan! -Mm? 149 00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,310 Yeah, I'm glad it went so smoothly. 150 00:06:38,353 --> 00:06:41,052 -Another triumph. -No. No. 151 00:06:41,095 --> 00:06:42,619 I failed. 152 00:06:42,662 --> 00:06:44,750 I wanted them to take me seriously as a professor, 153 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,493 and they rejected me, completely. 154 00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:51,323 If you would just stop trying, I promise you will stop failing. 155 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:56,633 Dr. Crane, I just left the registrar's office. 156 00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:58,635 Eight students withdrew from your class today. 157 00:06:58,678 --> 00:07:00,201 Olivia, please. 158 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,986 Frasier's taking this hard enough as it is. 159 00:07:02,029 --> 00:07:03,640 Most of them then signed up for your class. 160 00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,468 Damn it, Frasier, get your act together! 161 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,296 OLIVIA: What happened? 162 00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,907 I thought you'd be natural at teaching. 163 00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:12,213 You have decades of experience in TV and radio. 164 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,085 But that's not teaching. That's entertainment. 165 00:07:14,128 --> 00:07:15,565 I'm not a dancing bear. 166 00:07:15,608 --> 00:07:18,132 Oh, no one thinks of you as a dancing bear. 167 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,526 But universities have changed since you were a student here 168 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,181 for... thir... twe... for... several decades ago. 169 00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,664 Students today need a little showmanship. 170 00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:29,100 That's where you come in. 171 00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:32,277 You make the hard ideas go down easy. 172 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,844 [chuckles] 173 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,411 So, I'm the cheese wrapped around a dog's pill? 174 00:07:37,412 --> 00:07:38,675 Yes, you get it. 175 00:07:38,718 --> 00:07:40,503 Now, if you could just see 176 00:07:40,546 --> 00:07:44,028 how enthusiastically the students would react 177 00:07:44,071 --> 00:07:46,334 to just a little glimpse of the old you, 178 00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,945 I know you would change your mind. 179 00:07:47,988 --> 00:07:49,163 I'm not changing my mind. 180 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:52,384 Okay, but we still need you to succeed. 181 00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:54,081 We are paying you a lot of money. 182 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,474 You're paying me almost nothing. 183 00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,520 Which is a lot of money in academia. 184 00:07:58,738 --> 00:08:00,566 It is all about the numbers. 185 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,133 And if you do not bring more students into this department, 186 00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,569 well, then the numbers are not good. 187 00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,005 What do you suggest? 188 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,313 Uh, well, this is a new career for you, 189 00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,533 so maybe you would benefit from some seasoned help. 190 00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,710 -That sounds reasonable. -That's perceptive. -Mm-hmm. 191 00:08:13,753 --> 00:08:15,581 So, until you get your sea legs, 192 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,235 why don't you co-teach your classes with Alan? 193 00:08:17,278 --> 00:08:18,889 -Well, that's ridiculous. -What is wrong with you? 194 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,847 My goodness. 195 00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:23,154 Alan is-is lazy. 196 00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:25,025 He doesn't even finish anything he starts. 197 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:26,897 And Frasier is... 198 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,202 Eh. 199 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,210 What do you say, Alan-- is it worth a try? 200 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,864 Well... 201 00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:40,345 Please, Alan, help me help Dr. Crane help 202 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:43,043 the next generation of people who will help other people. 203 00:08:44,479 --> 00:08:46,699 Sounds like a Ponzi scheme of benevolence. 204 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,223 Are you really saying 205 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,835 I should take on extra work without extra pay? 206 00:08:51,878 --> 00:08:54,533 I am saying that you should help your oldest and dearest friend. 207 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:57,188 Without extra pay. 208 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,800 You can bring your cat back to the office. 209 00:09:01,801 --> 00:09:03,934 Fine, I'll do it. 210 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,588 Anything for a dear friend. 211 00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:07,851 You're talking about your cat? 212 00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:10,157 Well, who do you think I was talking about? 213 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,338 You in a hurry to get home to get your cat? 214 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:19,602 No, no, that would be silly. 215 00:09:19,645 --> 00:09:20,777 Frasier Crane, 216 00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,692 meet Margaret Scratcher. 217 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,828 Now, if I may, 218 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:31,657 what's so offensive about being a dancing bear? 219 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:35,226 You're a natural showman. Why not use that talent? 220 00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:36,444 I don't want to be a showman anymore. 221 00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,316 I want to make an impact. 222 00:09:38,359 --> 00:09:40,231 Well, didn't you make an impact on your television program? 223 00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:41,798 Well, it's debatable. 224 00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,713 But then again, you know that. You saw it. 225 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,282 You did see my show, didn't you? 226 00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:49,675 Of course. 227 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,590 B... Bits and pieces. 228 00:09:52,765 --> 00:09:54,419 I may have missed it. 229 00:09:54,462 --> 00:09:56,508 It was on for 14 years. 230 00:09:56,551 --> 00:09:59,685 Here, let me show you. 231 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:04,821 Perhaps the real reason you have not yet asked 232 00:10:04,864 --> 00:10:07,650 your daughter to forgive you 233 00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:10,087 is that you have not yet forgiven yourself. 234 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:13,743 [crying] 235 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,232 Well, this is all rather insightful. 236 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,148 That was season one. 237 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,672 Here's a clip from... 238 00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,849 ...season 13. 239 00:10:32,892 --> 00:10:34,589 [lively music playing] 240 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,721 ♪ Dr. Crane♪ 241 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,115 ♪ He can fix your brain♪ 242 00:10:38,158 --> 00:10:41,118 ♪ Keep from going insane and take away the pain♪ 243 00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:43,598 ♪ Yeah, it's Doctor, Dr. Crane.♪ 244 00:10:43,642 --> 00:10:45,644 ANNOUNCER: Oh, Doctor! 245 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,081 [whooping, cheering] 246 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,829 [laughing] 247 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,224 How about that audience, huh, Gilbert? 248 00:11:00,267 --> 00:11:02,705 Lovely, lovely, lovely! 249 00:11:02,748 --> 00:11:04,750 Welcome! 250 00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,796 Today on our show, I will be delving 251 00:11:06,839 --> 00:11:10,190 into the mind of the world's smartest pig, 252 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,105 Albert Swinestein! 253 00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,761 Then, we'll unveil this week's 254 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:19,069 -Frasier's Fra-vorite Things. -[laughs] 255 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:20,287 [applause, whooping] 256 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,289 And Tom Arnold is here! 257 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,769 [audience whooping] 258 00:11:25,553 --> 00:11:27,860 But first, let's put on... 259 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:30,863 ALL: ...our thinking caps. 260 00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,517 [laughter] 261 00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,654 I see now why you may have felt 262 00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,874 that you'd lost your way. 263 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,397 At one point... 264 00:11:44,442 --> 00:11:45,660 ...I hawked a tinted moisturizer 265 00:11:45,704 --> 00:11:48,315 with the tagline... 266 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:50,013 "I'm glistening." 267 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:54,191 And that's why I quit. 268 00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:57,281 My show had devolved into meaningless fluff. 269 00:11:57,324 --> 00:11:59,370 My greatest nightmare is that 270 00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,285 that will be my whole legacy. 271 00:12:01,328 --> 00:12:04,810 Are you sure this isn't less about how people will see you 272 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,073 and more about how you see yourself? 273 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,336 Don't you diagnose me with your projection. 274 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,295 It's merely a suggestion of projection. 275 00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:13,514 I have an objection to your projection suggestion. 276 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:16,082 And I question your rejection of my projection suggestion. 277 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:20,695 But if you're intent on avoiding the razzle-dazzle, 278 00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:23,394 then we'll have to win over your class with substance. 279 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:26,919 And I think I know the very substance we should start with. 280 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,269 Substance-- you're talking about a drink, aren't you? 281 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:31,402 Oh, you mean a book. 282 00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:33,621 How about that? 283 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:35,362 Ah, I was right the first time. 284 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,153 Oh, hi. How are you feeling about your second class? 285 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,111 Better. Alan and I dug deep last night 286 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,896 and came up with some things I think you're really... 287 00:12:46,939 --> 00:12:50,073 That's fantastic. Uh, so I sent Alan in already 288 00:12:50,116 --> 00:12:51,944 and, you know, I hope it's okay-- 289 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,598 I futzed with the lighting a little bit 290 00:12:53,641 --> 00:12:55,643 and I made a few other little changes 291 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,558 just to help you feel more at home. You'll barely notice. 292 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,212 Thank you. You're really taking good care of me. 293 00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:01,214 Anything for my "fra-vorite" teacher. 294 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:04,870 Did you say "fra-vorite"? 295 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,524 No. 296 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,831 Oh, just one more thing. 297 00:13:08,874 --> 00:13:10,876 These doors are broken or whatever. 298 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,401 If you wouldn't mind using the, uh, top entrance, 299 00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:15,838 just going around? 300 00:13:15,881 --> 00:13:17,274 Okay. 301 00:13:22,322 --> 00:13:24,324 [lively music plays on speakers] 302 00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:27,458 ♪ Dr. Crane, he can fix your brain♪ 303 00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,677 ♪ Keep from going insane...♪ 304 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,636 It's my greatest nightmare! 305 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,507 ANNOUNCER: Oh, Doctor! 306 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,080 Dr. Crane, where are you going? You have class. 307 00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:42,603 Well, that makes one of us. 308 00:13:44,518 --> 00:13:46,433 You tricked me. 309 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:49,045 No. No, no, no, no. I tricked you and Alan. 310 00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:52,048 He had no idea I had that planned. 311 00:13:52,091 --> 00:13:53,701 And I was hoping that once you saw how excited 312 00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,052 the students were, you would embrace the old you. 313 00:13:56,095 --> 00:13:58,532 You want the dancing bear, don't you? 314 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:01,187 No. What I want is a healthy learning environment 315 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,710 -for my... -You want the dancing bear! 316 00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,321 Of course I want the dancing bear! 317 00:14:04,364 --> 00:14:06,497 Why do you think I hired you-- 318 00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:08,368 for your negligible teaching experience? 319 00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,762 For the zero academic papers that you've written? 320 00:14:10,805 --> 00:14:12,285 No. 321 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,244 Because you are a big, beautiful dancing bear 322 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,464 in a pink tutu that the students will actually pay attention to. 323 00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,380 That is why you are here. 324 00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,730 So dance, bear, dance! 325 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:25,777 I refuse! 326 00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,431 I walked out of this job once before and I'll do it again! 327 00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:29,433 Oh, no, Dr. Crane, please, please. 328 00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:30,913 I put myself on the line for you. 329 00:14:30,956 --> 00:14:32,740 The numbers are bad. If you quit now, 330 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,525 well, the numbers-- they're going to get worse. 331 00:14:34,568 --> 00:14:36,701 What are these numbers you keep talking about? 332 00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,225 They're numbers. And they're bad. 333 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,184 This is Harvard! 334 00:14:41,227 --> 00:14:43,273 -For God's sake, Harvard's endowment alone -You see, the big numbers 335 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,752 -could power a small country -are little and the little numbers 336 00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:45,797 -for centuries! -should be big... Okay, 337 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,711 it's not about the numbers, 338 00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:47,407 it's about my sister! 339 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:49,279 All my life, 340 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,411 she's been just a little more popular, 341 00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,847 a little more successful. 342 00:14:52,891 --> 00:14:56,112 I don't know if-if you've ever dealt 343 00:14:56,155 --> 00:14:58,288 with a-a sibling with whom you have 344 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,552 a very intense and competitive relationship. 345 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,212 I am familiar with the dynamic. 346 00:15:10,735 --> 00:15:12,215 I need your star power 347 00:15:12,258 --> 00:15:14,869 to finally beat my sister. 348 00:15:14,913 --> 00:15:17,698 She just made provost at Yale. Yale, 349 00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:20,963 -Frasier, Yale! -Don't you "Yale" at me! 350 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:27,099 Okay, one more time. 351 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:29,275 Can we take a break? I'm exhausted. 352 00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,016 The last time I pushed myself this hard, 353 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,713 John popped out. 354 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,715 You got to use it, okay? 355 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,195 Y-You're supposed to be at the end of your rope 356 00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:37,501 in this scene, right? You got-you got to sound 357 00:15:37,544 --> 00:15:39,938 beaten down, pathetic, 358 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,679 self-pitying, like no one 359 00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:44,377 on the face of the planet believes in you. 360 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,726 Do you have an example? 361 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,781 Am I... 362 00:15:56,824 --> 00:15:59,523 destined to be a failure? 363 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:03,092 One by one, they've attached strings 364 00:16:03,135 --> 00:16:05,833 to my wrists and to my knees. 365 00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:08,445 I've been turned into a puppet. 366 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,056 To dance at their behest. 367 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,797 And once I've outlived my usefulness, 368 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,581 it's back in the box I go. 369 00:16:16,757 --> 00:16:20,065 Yeah. So, that, but likable. 370 00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,414 I don't know. I feel like the energy 371 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,808 needs to be quirky and angrier. 372 00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:25,070 What? What would that even look like? 373 00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:28,639 My ire is peaked. 374 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,252 They booby-trapped you in your own charisma. 375 00:16:33,296 --> 00:16:37,082 How dare they debase you by forcing you to do 376 00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:41,086 the very thing you did by choice for 15 years? 377 00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:43,045 I'm sorry, what is this about? 378 00:16:43,088 --> 00:16:44,263 -Allow me. -Sit down, David. 379 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,569 Okay. 380 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:50,922 Things aren't working out at Harvard. 381 00:16:50,965 --> 00:16:52,184 I'm thinking of leaving. 382 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:54,839 Wow. 383 00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:57,798 Really? 384 00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,626 Oh, sorry, Dad, 385 00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,107 just so I have this 100% crystal clear-- 386 00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:05,023 you're thinking of dropping out... 387 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,466 ...of Harvard? 388 00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,729 I... [sighs] Dad, 389 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:19,603 do you think you gave Harvard enough of a chance? 390 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,954 You're just so bright, Dad. I... 391 00:17:22,997 --> 00:17:25,738 I'd hate to see you waste that kind of potential. 392 00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:29,526 Are you having trouble making friends? 393 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,051 Tell you what-- why not take a gap year? 394 00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,531 You know, take a little time to... 395 00:17:34,574 --> 00:17:36,228 to think things over, 'cause, you know, 396 00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:37,621 I'm just worried about 397 00:17:37,664 --> 00:17:38,839 how this is gonna affect 398 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:41,668 the rest of your life. 399 00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:44,062 What am I supposed to tell my friends?! 400 00:17:48,327 --> 00:17:50,373 Wait a minute, wait a minute. 401 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,507 Are you high on drugs? 402 00:17:58,337 --> 00:18:01,123 Very funny. Very droll. 403 00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,038 You quite finished? 404 00:18:04,082 --> 00:18:05,866 No, Dad, I'm just kidding. [chuckles] 405 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,868 No one gets it more than I do. Harvard's not for everyone. 406 00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:10,697 -It's-it's okay to give up. -I'm not giving up. 407 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,396 -No, I'm just saying there's no shame in being a quitter. -I'm not a quitter. 408 00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:17,139 Well, you quit your radio show, you quit your TV show. 409 00:18:17,182 --> 00:18:18,792 Didn't you and Uncle Niles once have a restaurant 410 00:18:18,836 --> 00:18:20,925 you quit after, like, one day? 411 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,538 I'm not quitting, I just... 412 00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,105 I can't seem to figure out 413 00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,368 how to get my students to take me seriously. 414 00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,936 You know, the character I'm auditioning for-- 415 00:18:31,979 --> 00:18:34,112 nobody takes her seriously, either. 416 00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,722 Nobody except for Julius, 417 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:38,421 the partially-blind night shift custodian. 418 00:18:38,464 --> 00:18:40,640 And the way he talks about her 419 00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:43,730 allows others to see her for the leader that she is, 420 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:47,169 right up until he falls into the industrial meat grinder. 421 00:18:49,910 --> 00:18:51,695 So... 422 00:18:51,738 --> 00:18:55,089 if I could find my Julius-- 423 00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,961 one student with whom I could engage 424 00:18:57,004 --> 00:18:58,267 in an inspiring conversation 425 00:18:58,310 --> 00:18:59,659 and thereby win over the entire class. 426 00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:04,142 And I bet I know just the Julius I need. 427 00:19:05,491 --> 00:19:08,233 I bet you do. 428 00:19:12,977 --> 00:19:15,240 After that brief hiccup yesterday, 429 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,764 I think it's time we got back on track. 430 00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,766 Uh, but first, does anyone have a question? 431 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,290 I have a question. 432 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,422 Anyone? Anyone at all? 433 00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,685 Ah, yes, the young lady in the back there. 434 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,297 Yes, I have prepared a question for you, Dr. Crane. 435 00:19:29,428 --> 00:19:32,083 Oh, wonderful. Well, I'm excited to hear that. 436 00:19:32,126 --> 00:19:34,216 I'm your helper. 437 00:19:34,259 --> 00:19:36,740 I'm... I'm your... I'm your Sancho Panza. 438 00:19:36,783 --> 00:19:39,569 It's about Hermann Ebbinghaus. 439 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,528 Oh, yes, Ebbinghaus. Oh, very interesting. 440 00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:45,531 You planned this without me. You totally went over my head. 441 00:19:45,575 --> 00:19:48,491 Yes, and as a serious academic, 442 00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:51,015 could you tell me what his whole deal was? 443 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:53,539 And, please, no gimmicky showmanship. 444 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,239 Uh, excuse me... ma'am. 445 00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,589 Ma'am? I'm not a ma'am. 446 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,940 I'm a miss. I'm a young, co-ed miss. 447 00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,420 Well, I'm convinced. 448 00:20:04,463 --> 00:20:07,553 Really? 'Cause you look like an old mom. 449 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:10,208 If I look old, it's because somebody made me wear 450 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,992 this stupid turtleneck. 451 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,994 Oh, now, as Ebbinghaus once said... 452 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,692 Nobody is buying 453 00:20:15,735 --> 00:20:18,347 -this little act. -Oh, yeah? Show of hands-- 454 00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,044 who thinks I'm a student? 455 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:24,309 Oh... Well, she-she's not. 456 00:20:24,353 --> 00:20:27,312 She's just a wannabe actress who stole my moment. 457 00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,140 Wannabe? 458 00:20:29,183 --> 00:20:31,490 I have these dweebs eating out of my hand. 459 00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,318 You took advantage of him, didn't you? 460 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:36,365 You took advantage of this poor, gullible buffoon. 461 00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:40,151 Or maybe I'm here because he knew that you couldn't do it. 462 00:20:40,194 --> 00:20:41,805 Well, go find your own uncle, 463 00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:44,198 'cause this one's mine! 464 00:20:44,242 --> 00:20:46,331 [chanting]: Fight, fight, fight, fight, 465 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,898 -fight, fight, fight, -All right, all right. 466 00:20:47,941 --> 00:20:49,334 -fight, fight, fight... -Everyone, calm down. 467 00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,205 She's only here because my uncle pays 468 00:20:51,249 --> 00:20:53,077 for an apartment for her and her baby. 469 00:20:54,034 --> 00:20:55,949 All right, stop, stop! 470 00:20:57,821 --> 00:20:58,865 Everyone. 471 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,173 I think it's time... 472 00:21:02,216 --> 00:21:05,350 we put on our 473 00:21:05,394 --> 00:21:07,309 -thinking caps. -Thinking caps! 474 00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,585 Sounds like your class went well. 475 00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:25,805 I was teaching next door and the applause woke me up. 476 00:21:28,373 --> 00:21:29,809 Yes. 477 00:21:29,853 --> 00:21:31,985 I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. 478 00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,554 Did manage to squeeze in 479 00:21:35,598 --> 00:21:37,600 20 minutes about Hermann Ebbinghaus 480 00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:40,254 because of this silly hat, 481 00:21:40,298 --> 00:21:41,734 and a story I told them about 482 00:21:41,778 --> 00:21:44,650 Albert Swinestein's quiz show scandal. 483 00:21:44,694 --> 00:21:46,696 So, why do you look so glum? 484 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,873 Because this wasn't who I wanted to be. 485 00:21:49,916 --> 00:21:51,962 Thirty years ago... 486 00:21:52,005 --> 00:21:54,660 I left Boston with my tail between my legs. 487 00:21:55,922 --> 00:21:59,230 I had dreams of returning, triumphant. 488 00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:01,058 Now those dreams just keep slipping 489 00:22:01,101 --> 00:22:02,538 farther and farther away. 490 00:22:03,887 --> 00:22:05,497 It's a rather fetching hat. 491 00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,238 May I have a look? 492 00:22:08,892 --> 00:22:10,459 Ow! 493 00:22:10,502 --> 00:22:11,677 What was that for? 494 00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,984 For being a baby. 495 00:22:14,027 --> 00:22:17,074 You're rich, you're famous, your students love you. 496 00:22:17,117 --> 00:22:20,077 For some reason, you smell naturally of sandalwood. 497 00:22:21,121 --> 00:22:22,601 What more could you possibly want? 498 00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:24,298 I wanted to make an impact. 499 00:22:24,342 --> 00:22:26,475 Wanted to realize the potential I had 500 00:22:26,518 --> 00:22:28,564 when I set out on this career path 40 years ago. 501 00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,480 I see. 502 00:22:31,523 --> 00:22:34,787 That's a rather fetching belt. Do you mind if I have a look? 503 00:22:36,223 --> 00:22:37,964 Am I being that ridiculous? 504 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:40,271 You got 18-year-olds to listen to a lecture 505 00:22:40,314 --> 00:22:42,882 about Ebbinghaus for 20 minutes, 506 00:22:42,926 --> 00:22:45,711 and all it took was a silly hat and a story about a pig. 507 00:22:45,755 --> 00:22:47,626 Which, by the way, I have to hear. 508 00:22:49,193 --> 00:22:51,630 [gasps] ♪ Dr. Crane.♪ 509 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,589 Oh, it was marvelous! 510 00:22:53,632 --> 00:22:55,721 The students were raving. You're a hit. 511 00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:59,725 Yes, Frasier was just complaining about being beloved. 512 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:02,598 Do you mind if I take a look at this hat? 513 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:05,992 Hmm. 514 00:23:06,036 --> 00:23:08,517 I have a little bit of a confession. 515 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,432 This thinking cap wasn't shipped overnight. 516 00:23:10,475 --> 00:23:13,435 I bought it years ago when I came to see your show live. 517 00:23:13,478 --> 00:23:16,307 You were a fan of the show? 518 00:23:16,350 --> 00:23:18,483 -Mm-hmm. -You-you didn't mention that. 519 00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:21,094 It's a little bit embarrassing, but 520 00:23:21,138 --> 00:23:24,576 I even ran my local chapter of the Frasier Crane Fan Club. 521 00:23:25,577 --> 00:23:27,318 You were a Craniac? 522 00:23:31,714 --> 00:23:35,239 Watching you lift up and educate your viewers-- 523 00:23:35,282 --> 00:23:37,676 that's why I decided to get my PhD. 524 00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,810 So, my show actually inspired you, 525 00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:42,289 despite all the meaningless fluff? 526 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,162 [chuckles] Because of the meaningless fluff. 527 00:23:45,205 --> 00:23:47,512 Well, that's what pulled me in at first, anyway. 528 00:23:47,556 --> 00:23:50,515 Thank God, because otherwise, who knows where I would be? 529 00:23:50,559 --> 00:23:52,952 Probably a head of department 530 00:23:52,996 --> 00:23:56,042 at some backwater community college. 531 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,740 Cornell. 532 00:24:01,961 --> 00:24:04,747 You know, maybe there's nothing wrong 533 00:24:04,790 --> 00:24:08,185 with a little razzle-dazzle. 534 00:24:08,228 --> 00:24:10,404 Just take that old negative self-talk and... 535 00:24:10,448 --> 00:24:11,667 hiyah! 536 00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:16,193 Thank you. 537 00:24:16,236 --> 00:24:17,890 Thank you both. 538 00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:19,196 Mostly Olivia. 539 00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:25,681 This thinking cap of yours-- didn't I see it in your office 540 00:24:25,724 --> 00:24:27,552 with a price tag on it last week? 541 00:24:27,596 --> 00:24:29,772 Oh, I may have embellished 542 00:24:29,815 --> 00:24:31,904 to get a very sincere point across. 543 00:24:31,948 --> 00:24:34,211 -[chuckles] -Well done. 544 00:24:34,254 --> 00:24:35,734 Oh, and, uh, 545 00:24:35,778 --> 00:24:38,128 well done also on that, uh, 546 00:24:38,171 --> 00:24:40,217 pathetic Craniac thing you made up. 547 00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:41,914 Mm-hmm. 548 00:24:44,003 --> 00:24:46,092 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Why were you in my office? 549 00:24:46,136 --> 00:24:49,095 Oh, looking for the cat. By the way, 550 00:24:49,139 --> 00:24:52,969 your desktop Zen garden's been compromised. 551 00:24:53,012 --> 00:24:54,840 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 552 00:24:58,496 --> 00:25:01,586 ["Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs" playing] 553 00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:03,545 FRASIER: Y'all know how this goes. 554 00:25:05,503 --> 00:25:07,157 ♪ Hey, baby, I hear the blues a-callin'♪ 555 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,639 ♪ Tossed salads and scrambled eggs♪ 556 00:25:12,379 --> 00:25:14,904 ♪ And maybe I seem a bit confused♪ 557 00:25:14,947 --> 00:25:17,515 Yeah, maybe. But I got you pegged. 558 00:25:17,559 --> 00:25:18,647 [chuckles] 559 00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,650 ♪ But I don't know what to do♪ 560 00:25:21,693 --> 00:25:25,697 ♪ With those tossed salads and scrambled eggs♪ 561 00:25:27,656 --> 00:25:29,832 ♪ Life's callin' again.♪ 562 00:25:32,051 --> 00:25:33,749 Back in Beantown. 563 00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:34,793 What is a boy to do?