1 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,463 It's four days before Christmas, 2 00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:05,198 and it's 70 degrees. 3 00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,401 Only in East L.A. 4 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:12,439 East L.A. may be thousands of miles from the North Pole, 5 00:01:12,607 --> 00:01:14,776 but it doesn't lack Christmas spirit. 6 00:01:43,004 --> 00:01:46,440 I'm not dirty, I'm clean. I spread love around. 7 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,278 ♪ I'm dreaming ♪ 8 00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,314 ♪ Of a brown Christmas ♪ 9 00:01:54,448 --> 00:02:00,187 ♪ Just like the ones in Mexico ♪ 10 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:07,127 ♪ Just like every wetback in town ♪ 11 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:09,731 ♪ I miss the cockfight season ♪ 12 00:02:09,864 --> 00:02:12,199 In the North Pole they have little helpers 13 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:14,167 that do all the hard work. 14 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:16,904 In Los Angeles, they're called Mexicans. 15 00:02:17,038 --> 00:02:19,139 There's many stories about Christmas, 16 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:22,744 but here is a tale that has never been told before, 17 00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:25,145 and, perhaps, will never be forgotten. 18 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:28,116 ♪ With borrachos drinking ♪ 19 00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:32,053 ♪ And police lights blinking ♪ 20 00:02:32,185 --> 00:02:36,124 ♪ And you don't have no ID to show ♪ 21 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,302 Daddy's little girl is coming home for Christmas! 22 00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:03,818 Big thanks from all of us here at Area 51 Studios. 23 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,922 We hope to be bringing Alien Zombie Wars to a galaxy near you. 24 00:03:08,056 --> 00:03:09,691 Leif, what can I say? 25 00:03:09,824 --> 00:03:11,826 You've exceeded every one of our expectations. 26 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,493 Yes. 27 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,698 Not only will this satisfy every youngster's innate ADHD... 28 00:03:16,831 --> 00:03:19,433 ...it's gonna bring people together 29 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,369 through some internalized rage tendencies, 30 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,605 some fantasies to fulfill right there. 31 00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:26,674 Bravo! 32 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:30,410 Hey... Leif? You still with us? 33 00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:33,181 Oh, I'm sorry, Toby, I, uh... 34 00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,615 I gotta go. Um... 35 00:03:34,749 --> 00:03:36,784 I'm afraid it's an emergency. 36 00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:38,786 We were just about to discuss the contract-- 37 00:03:57,939 --> 00:04:00,174 To the woman of my dreams. 38 00:04:00,307 --> 00:04:01,876 Mm-hmm. 39 00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,511 I would like to spend 40 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,580 my hard-earned airline miles and Christmas bonus, 41 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,749 thank you very much, Alien Zombie Wars, 42 00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:10,518 to fly her to the land of dreams. 43 00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:13,688 For this holiday season, we're going to the spectacular, 44 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,356 romantic paradise... 45 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,793 ...of... oh! 46 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,294 Um... it's okay. 47 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,232 It-it's just my dad. He just... 48 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:25,933 Somehow always has a sixth sense 49 00:04:26,067 --> 00:04:27,467 to call at exactly the wrong moment. 50 00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:30,303 - Okay... - You were saying? 51 00:04:36,077 --> 00:04:38,478 For the best girlfriend a geek like me could ask for... 52 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:44,685 you have won an all expenses paid trip 53 00:04:44,819 --> 00:04:47,722 down to... 54 00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,959 You hear that? 55 00:04:52,093 --> 00:04:54,294 That's you when you were five years old 56 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:55,830 at the St. Francis beauty pageant 57 00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,431 before you became a big shot in New York. 58 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,768 Hey, so guess what? 59 00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:03,871 You're gonna have a chance to sing your favorite Christmas song again, 60 00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:05,873 because I am having my first annual 61 00:05:06,007 --> 00:05:09,076 Mexican Hispanic American Chicano Christmas 62 00:05:09,210 --> 00:05:10,912 and we're so happy that you're coming home 63 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:14,816 to spend Christmas con la familia! 64 00:05:14,949 --> 00:05:16,316 - Do you wanna get that? - Um... 65 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,386 Yeah. Mm. I'm sorry. 66 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,656 Um... I'm just gonna talk to him real quick, okay? 67 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,157 It'll take, like, two seconds. 68 00:05:23,291 --> 00:05:24,424 - Okay. - Yeah? Okay? 69 00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:25,593 - I'll be back. - Love you. 70 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:33,267 What-- who said I was coming home for the holidays? 71 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,703 And, Dad, I'm an assistant editor. 72 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:39,774 I-I've been working at the magazine for barely two months. 73 00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,108 ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ 74 00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:45,478 ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ 75 00:05:45,613 --> 00:05:47,882 Okay, Dad? Dad? 76 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,051 Christmas is in like... 77 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:54,421 Okay, you can't just spring a 3,000 mile trip on me at the last minute. 78 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,356 I have to talk to my-- 79 00:05:58,059 --> 00:05:59,527 My boss. 80 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,596 No, no, no, here's the beautiful thing. 81 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:04,031 - I already called your boss and I told her... - You did what?! 82 00:06:04,165 --> 00:06:06,167 ...about all the things you used to do when you were little, 83 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,468 how we knew you were gonna be big in fashion, 84 00:06:08,603 --> 00:06:10,838 and you were dressing up los perritos and having a fashion show 85 00:06:10,972 --> 00:06:12,840 and you were nine years old, and I told her that, you know, 86 00:06:12,974 --> 00:06:14,709 you wanted to come over here to be with your family 87 00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:17,377 and she said that they are gonna be closed 88 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,547 between Christmas and New Year's, and she didn't mind if you left a day early! 89 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,682 - ♪ Feliz Navidad ♪ - Okay. 90 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,951 Um, Dad, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? 91 00:06:24,085 --> 00:06:25,887 And here's your room. 92 00:06:26,020 --> 00:06:28,155 Oh, he said hey! 93 00:06:28,289 --> 00:06:30,457 Bye! Mm-hmm. 94 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,926 Mm-hmm. I'm hanging up now, okay? 95 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:33,561 - I'm hanging up. - I can't hear you. Huh? 96 00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,897 - Bye-bye. - Hurry up-- 97 00:06:37,031 --> 00:06:38,398 Oh, no. 98 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,576 Can you believe him? Did you hear that? 99 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,645 He wants me to go spend the holidays with them. 100 00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:52,546 - He-- - I know. It's... 101 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,615 Well, do you wanna hear something amazing? 102 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:57,818 That's exactly where I was planning on taking us for the holidays. 103 00:07:00,021 --> 00:07:01,889 Wha-- 104 00:07:02,023 --> 00:07:04,592 To spend them with my family in East L.A.? 105 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,094 That's your idea of the "ultimate romantic paradise"? 106 00:07:07,228 --> 00:07:10,197 No, well, I know how important family is to you, 107 00:07:10,331 --> 00:07:12,600 so actually what better gift 108 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,835 to a girl who lives so far from home? 109 00:07:14,969 --> 00:07:16,938 You're kidding, right? 110 00:07:17,071 --> 00:07:19,073 - I'm totally joking, yeah. - Oh, okay, I was gonna say. 111 00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,075 - 'Cause that's crazy. - I'm actually... 112 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,177 I'm not joking. Look, I got the tickets. 113 00:07:23,311 --> 00:07:24,812 - What? No, you didn't. - Yeah. 114 00:07:24,946 --> 00:07:27,480 - No, you didn't. - Yeah, I did. 115 00:07:30,251 --> 00:07:32,853 Um... I mean... 116 00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:35,690 I mean, I do miss them. 117 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:37,291 But, babe, I'm not gonna wish 118 00:07:37,425 --> 00:07:39,527 spending Christmas with my family upon anyone. 119 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,963 Look, I just wanna make you happy. You know? 120 00:07:42,096 --> 00:07:44,999 Would spending the holidays with your family make you happy? 121 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,801 Yeah. 122 00:07:52,073 --> 00:07:53,473 - We're doing this? - Yes. 123 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,109 - Are you sure? - Yes! 124 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:57,745 - A hundred percent? Positive? - Yeah. 125 00:07:57,878 --> 00:08:00,414 I mean, call your dad back and tell him you got a new boyfriend or... 126 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:03,351 - Um... - It's like he doesn't know I exist, so... 127 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:05,586 It's okay, don't worry. 128 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:10,124 My Dad loves surprises. 129 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,996 I hate surprises. 130 00:08:15,129 --> 00:08:16,297 Take this check, 131 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:19,266 take that gift, give it to your mom. 132 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:22,069 Damn! 133 00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:36,350 Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad! 134 00:08:36,484 --> 00:08:38,452 Happy 25th. 135 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,154 No matter how you say it, 136 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,490 you can't help but to say it with a smile, 137 00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,492 but this year, 138 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,595 Christmas will come in a different shape and form, 139 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,197 one that I could've never imagined, 140 00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:54,702 one that would change my father's unwilling heart forever. 141 00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:02,777 Huh? 142 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:13,187 Am I the first White guy to set foot in this neighborhood or-- 143 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,823 No. No, no, no. Mm-mm. 144 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,527 Most of the police are White. 145 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,728 I mean, I'm sure your dad's gonna love 146 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,596 you bringing home a gringo boyfriend. 147 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:26,333 Aww, my beautiful gringuito! 148 00:09:27,301 --> 00:09:30,505 My father is an equal opportunity boyfriend hater, okay? 149 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,206 'Kay. 150 00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:52,193 Hey, look, it's mini-Mario Lopez. 151 00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:53,594 Hey, what's up, ese? 152 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,830 What's in the box, eh? I'm hungry. 153 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,766 Me, too! Hey, throw me a bear claw! 154 00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:02,136 Hey, fool, you're on a diet, remember? 155 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,904 No carbs, ese. 156 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,840 That's right, ese. You know how much I love conchitas. 157 00:10:05,973 --> 00:10:07,708 - Hey, what color, fool? - Don't tell nobody, homie, 158 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,276 but the pink one, ese. 159 00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:10,978 Ah, that's what up, fool, that's what's up! 160 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:12,379 - Want some right now? - Let's-let's go. 161 00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:16,450 Ooh. 162 00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:22,089 Javier de la Torre, at your service. 163 00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:23,457 Of course you are. 164 00:10:23,592 --> 00:10:25,493 You must be Carmencita. 165 00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,399 Who is it?! 166 00:10:32,534 --> 00:10:34,101 Home delivery services. 167 00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:36,904 How are my favorite ladies on the block doing today? 168 00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,809 I just stopped by to bring you ladies some pan dulce. 169 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,677 Thought it would be good with your cafecito. 170 00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:55,990 I'm running late for an appointment. Big remodel in Brentwood. 171 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,725 Well, we're open 24/7. 172 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:04,431 By the way, 173 00:11:04,566 --> 00:11:06,500 - you ladies should be arrested. - Why? 174 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:10,337 I heard it was against the law to look so beautiful. 175 00:11:16,611 --> 00:11:18,145 I dated a guy like him once. 176 00:11:18,279 --> 00:11:20,981 You dated someone that looks like everyone. 177 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:21,849 Mm-hmm. 178 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,419 and he text me back. 179 00:11:27,922 --> 00:11:30,157 Porque he should be calling me. 180 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:33,694 - The lawyer from last night? - No, no, no. That was Hector. 181 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:37,298 This is Fernando, the computer programmer. 182 00:11:37,431 --> 00:11:39,166 You need a computer just to keep track. 183 00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,968 - Okay, so, but-- pero... - That's not a bad idea. 184 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,572 We miss you. So, when are you arriving? 185 00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,972 Mm-hmm. 186 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,411 Okay? Okay, hurry. Okay. You guys, guess what? 187 00:11:50,545 --> 00:11:51,680 ¿Qué? 188 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,448 Mi Claudita is on her way! 189 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,224 Check it out. My suegro's here. 190 00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:04,858 That's my suegro, homie. 191 00:12:07,562 --> 00:12:08,896 Hey, when did you guys get out? 192 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,699 Hey, vato, what's up? 193 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,766 What's that? You got the cramps? 194 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,604 Hey, do what my mother-in-law does. She lights a candle at night. 195 00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,238 What'd you say, ese? 196 00:12:17,371 --> 00:12:18,806 Hey, don't be disrespecting the homeboy, ese. 197 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,341 You guys disrespect this neighborhood 198 00:12:20,474 --> 00:12:21,676 every time you stand out here. Don't you guys work? 199 00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,077 Y-y-y-yeah, 200 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:24,945 and-and Casper's working on his probation, 201 00:12:25,079 --> 00:12:27,616 I'm working on a new s-s-song, 202 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,416 and Lucky's working on a tasty, 203 00:12:29,551 --> 00:12:31,385 - delicious mal-mal-malt liquor. - That's right. 204 00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:34,021 That's what you guys need, more shit to make you stupid. 205 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:35,823 Hey, Bennie, word on the street is, 206 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,692 your daughter's coming home. 207 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,460 Yeah, she's real fine, ese. 208 00:12:39,594 --> 00:12:41,428 Don't talk about my daughter, man. Don't look at her. 209 00:12:41,563 --> 00:12:42,930 Hey, cálmate, homes. 210 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,966 I bet you she's all telenovela style. 211 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,736 Them homegirls be hotter than two lizards 212 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,204 sleeping on a rock in the middle of the desert. 213 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,072 The trash is Tuesday. Let me go inside 214 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,709 and I'll get you some aspirin for your cramps, eh? 215 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:57,177 What the hell does that mean, fool? 216 00:12:57,311 --> 00:12:57,945 I'm-- 217 00:13:04,719 --> 00:13:06,020 Quick, vato. 218 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,454 What's three plus four minus one, 219 00:13:07,589 --> 00:13:09,923 divided by shut the fudge up, homie? 220 00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,092 "Fudge"? "Shut the fudge up"? 221 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:14,194 Hey, homes, what the hell was that? 222 00:13:14,328 --> 00:13:17,732 I told you, ese, I quit bad words cold turkey. 223 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:19,900 And now, I'm a born-again cholo, 224 00:13:20,034 --> 00:13:22,369 so shut the fudge up, homie. 225 00:13:22,504 --> 00:13:25,406 - I don't get it. - But how can you be born again? 226 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:27,941 Ow, my head hurts. 227 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,480 Whoa. 228 00:13:33,615 --> 00:13:34,915 Save that pose for later. 229 00:13:35,049 --> 00:13:36,685 Ay, Bennie, you broke my Zen, hombre. 230 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:39,186 I think you should be more concerned with breaking your back. 231 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,021 It's yoga, Bennie. You don't break your back. 232 00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:44,291 You should try it, so maybe you're more flexible in life. 233 00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,226 No, no, no. Where I come from, 234 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,796 if they catch you in a position like that, you'll get beat up. 235 00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:48,929 Where do you want me to put the presents? 236 00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,399 Ah. 237 00:13:53,367 --> 00:13:56,538 Ay. Ay. 238 00:13:56,671 --> 00:14:00,374 Gordo, we need to get a new tree. 239 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,678 It doesn't even feel like Christmas, 240 00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:05,045 it doesn't smell like a real tree. 241 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:07,881 Oh. Espera. Look at this. 242 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,383 Uh, "Wild forest pine. 243 00:14:09,517 --> 00:14:11,318 Bring the essence of the forest into your home." 244 00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,320 Ay, Benicio. 245 00:14:13,454 --> 00:14:16,890 Don't waste it. We need it when you go hacer caquita. 246 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,694 Okay, well then, you know what? I'm gonna get a real Christmas tree. 247 00:14:19,828 --> 00:14:23,397 A traditional Hispanic, Mexican-American Christmas tree. 248 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:26,166 - Okay, and how's that? - Because Claudia's coming home, 249 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:28,135 and as a family we're gonna have 250 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:30,204 a traditional Hispanic Mexican American Christmas, so... 251 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,339 and it's gonna be the best Christmas ever, you know. 252 00:14:32,473 --> 00:14:34,074 Uh-huh. And when did you think of this 253 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,610 and why am I the last one to know? 254 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:38,879 Because you always say no. 255 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:40,815 - What's going on, Bennie? - Nada. 256 00:14:42,216 --> 00:14:43,852 What's going on here? 257 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,720 Is something going on? 258 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,155 What you thinking? 259 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:53,360 Mi gordito, you really miss your baby. 260 00:14:53,494 --> 00:14:55,530 Is that what this is all about, eh? 261 00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:57,164 This is where she belongs. 262 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,666 - Where? - She's so far away, you know, 263 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,434 I mean, what's wrong with L.A.? 264 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,102 We could see her on the weekends. 265 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:03,571 Remember when we used to go out and-- 266 00:15:05,507 --> 00:15:07,174 Not always about you. 267 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,942 She landed a big job, 268 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,513 she's got her new gig in the fancy magazine, what she wanted. 269 00:15:11,646 --> 00:15:12,714 Can we be happy for her? 270 00:15:12,847 --> 00:15:14,348 Can we or no? 271 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,016 - Yeah, no, I'm happy for her. - You know, yeah. 272 00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,752 I just wanna show her that I can plan the best 273 00:15:17,886 --> 00:15:20,254 and most Feliz Navidad that she's ever had. 274 00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:24,391 Okay, well that's good. Oh, you drive me crazy. 275 00:15:24,526 --> 00:15:25,959 - Oh! - You drive me crazy! 276 00:15:29,597 --> 00:15:31,533 Ay, I love you, my yoga mama. Mira! 277 00:15:31,666 --> 00:15:33,167 - Hey, watch this. I'm gonna do it, too. - ¿Qué? 278 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,541 Hey, vatos! 279 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,644 What's that fool doing? 280 00:16:16,778 --> 00:16:18,479 He's bringing Christmas to the streets, eh? 281 00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,214 Hey, Bennie, what are you doing, fool? 282 00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:23,651 - Christmas ain't over yet, eh? - Merry Christmas. 283 00:16:23,785 --> 00:16:25,687 Don't smoke it. 284 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,756 Hey, follow me, homie. 285 00:16:28,890 --> 00:16:31,124 Hey, go check it out, homies. I got your back. 286 00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:33,895 Damn, that tree is jacked up. 287 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,396 Hey, that's what's up, ese. I could take this 288 00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:38,766 to those disadvantaged, underprivileged kids, homie. 289 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:41,769 You mean h-h-h-homeless kids or orphans? 290 00:16:41,903 --> 00:16:44,471 My kids, vato. I'm taking this home. 291 00:16:44,606 --> 00:16:46,808 Vámonos, fool, before he changes his mind, ese. 292 00:16:46,941 --> 00:16:49,309 Hey, have you ever smoked a-a Christmas tree before? 293 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,478 - No, man. - Well, you see, it was flying reindeers 294 00:16:51,613 --> 00:16:53,480 and dancing gingerbreads, homie. 295 00:16:53,615 --> 00:16:55,249 Forget your kids. Let's smoke that, homie. 296 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,819 Let's go, homie. Come on. Watch out, homie. 297 00:16:57,952 --> 00:16:59,521 Let's go, fool. 298 00:16:59,654 --> 00:17:01,221 Hey, don't be starting to smoke without me, ese. 299 00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:03,090 Who got the lighter? Who got the lighter? 300 00:17:04,592 --> 00:17:07,394 Mini, we already got a mini vato. 301 00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:21,408 Come on, m'hijo. 302 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,213 Try to stay sober this year. Vamos. 303 00:17:30,018 --> 00:17:31,285 Feliz Navidad! 304 00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:32,787 Ah, you're home! 305 00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,789 Oh my God, you're home. I missed you so much. 306 00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,925 - I know! I missed you so much! - Oh, my God. Look at you. 307 00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,493 - I have something to tell you. - I have something to tell you, too. 308 00:17:39,627 --> 00:17:43,330 - Uh-huh? - You're daddy's little girl forever. 309 00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:46,668 - I'm so glad you're home. - No. Okay, Dad. 310 00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:48,903 You'll have to let go. I can't breathe. 311 00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:50,738 - Come on. - Okay. I have a surprise for you. 312 00:17:50,872 --> 00:17:53,173 Come back from New York, 313 00:17:53,307 --> 00:17:54,441 Yeah! 314 00:17:54,576 --> 00:17:58,846 Mommy! 315 00:18:05,787 --> 00:18:07,154 Too much tofu in New York? 316 00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:12,927 Um... ahem. 317 00:18:15,329 --> 00:18:17,565 Um, okay, uh... 318 00:18:17,699 --> 00:18:21,234 Ahem, Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend, Leif. 319 00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,437 Leif, Mom and Dad. 320 00:18:23,571 --> 00:18:26,206 - Your boyfriend? - Mm... 321 00:18:26,340 --> 00:18:28,275 ¿Un gringo? 322 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,749 - It's-- - He meant to say hello. 323 00:18:34,882 --> 00:18:36,584 No, no. That's fine, I just wanna hear it from him. 324 00:18:36,718 --> 00:18:39,854 Mr. Sanchez, it's a pleasure to meet you. 325 00:18:42,624 --> 00:18:44,224 Pleasure to make your acquaintance. 326 00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:47,996 Leif. Mucho gusto. 327 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,998 I'm Gabbie, Claudita's mom. 328 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:52,165 Nice to meet you, and this is Carmencita, y la abuela Tita. 329 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,170 - Welcome to the family, huerito. - Ay! Welcome to the family. 330 00:18:57,304 --> 00:19:00,074 Mr. Sanchez, thank you so much. I am so excited. 331 00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:01,676 I've never been in a Mexican home before. 332 00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:03,945 This is crazy! 333 00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:07,582 A Mexican's home. 334 00:19:09,517 --> 00:19:12,285 "A Mexican home." Okay. Okay. 335 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:14,522 Family meeting in the Mexican home right now! 336 00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:16,289 Ooh! 337 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:17,324 I mean, "a Mexican home." 338 00:19:18,993 --> 00:19:20,193 What does he think? We sleep on chile? 339 00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:23,665 - That fool is mad-mad! - - Last time I saw him that mad 340 00:19:23,798 --> 00:19:25,700 was when I took his lawnmower, dog. 341 00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,568 Got the white boy in the back. 342 00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:29,570 Look at him. He's looking at us. 343 00:19:29,704 --> 00:19:31,471 Not even her type, dog. 344 00:19:34,008 --> 00:19:35,610 Thought she was into cholos. 345 00:19:35,743 --> 00:19:37,277 I don't like the way that fool looked at me, dog. 346 00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:39,413 So, you wanna go bang, ese? 347 00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:41,582 - I'm ready, fool. - Come on, man. Let's go jump him in. 348 00:19:41,716 --> 00:19:43,951 I'm serious. Think he has money? 349 00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,597 Did you know about this? Did you know? 350 00:19:56,731 --> 00:19:57,865 No, I didn't know anything. 351 00:20:00,034 --> 00:20:02,469 - Since when? - Shh, he's gorgeous. 352 00:20:02,603 --> 00:20:04,138 - You see? - How come you didn't tell me? 353 00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:05,606 I-- uh-- 354 00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:07,474 I wa... I wanted it to be a surprise. 355 00:20:07,608 --> 00:20:09,610 Yeah, that wasn't a surprise. That was an ambush. 356 00:20:09,744 --> 00:20:12,379 You think we were surprised when the Americans went and invaded Mexico? 357 00:20:12,513 --> 00:20:13,848 And afterwards all the Mexicans are hanging out, 358 00:20:13,981 --> 00:20:15,550 "Mira nomás, wow, what a surprise!" 359 00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,487 - You're overreacting like a little bit. - Don't worry. 360 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,592 Don't be rude to him. 361 00:20:24,726 --> 00:20:26,460 Hey, hey, he was rude to me first. 362 00:20:26,594 --> 00:20:28,696 I wanted a Brown Christmas, not a White Christmas. 363 00:20:28,830 --> 00:20:30,363 Okay? I wanted a traditional Christmas, 364 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,066 con las abuelas, los tíos, las tías, 365 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,468 tamales, and all your cousins playing in the street, 366 00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:36,938 hurting themselves, así, a Mexican Christmas. 367 00:20:37,071 --> 00:20:39,607 How about you just-- you give him a chance 368 00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:42,275 before you start judging him, okay? 369 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,845 Give me a chance. 370 00:20:45,813 --> 00:20:47,682 What's un chance? Is that his dad's name? 371 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,017 Next thing you know, we'll be carrying water como pendejos. 372 00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:51,786 What time does the movie start? 373 00:20:58,659 --> 00:21:01,629 Hey, nothing that a tequila can't fix. 374 00:21:01,763 --> 00:21:03,497 - Leaf. - It's Leif. 375 00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:06,634 Uh, yes, yeah, I know. Make yourself at home, hmm? 376 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:11,105 Mrs. Sanchez, I know this is a surprise. 377 00:21:11,239 --> 00:21:13,674 - See, Mr. Sanchez, he called Claudia... - Yeah. 378 00:21:13,808 --> 00:21:15,743 ...invited her home for Christmas. 379 00:21:15,877 --> 00:21:17,344 - That's the only-- - Yeah. No, no, no, don't worry. 380 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:18,946 You don't have to explain yourself. 381 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,648 The most important thing is that you're both here. 382 00:21:20,782 --> 00:21:22,583 I just wanted to surprise him. 383 00:21:22,717 --> 00:21:24,519 Well, you did surprise him, m'hijita, you did. 384 00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:27,255 You even surprised la Tootsie aquí. 385 00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,925 You even surprised me. Why are you keeping secrets like that, huh? 386 00:21:31,058 --> 00:21:32,994 - Baby, come on. - Have a seat, Leaf. 387 00:21:33,127 --> 00:21:34,427 Uh, it's Leif. 388 00:21:36,597 --> 00:21:38,065 - Stop. - Gracias. 389 00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:48,709 Okay. I have to have a serious talk with Dad. 390 00:21:48,843 --> 00:21:50,878 And I have a date with a chela. 391 00:21:51,012 --> 00:21:52,780 Chela? 392 00:21:52,914 --> 00:21:54,682 Uh, Coachella? 393 00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:57,151 Ah... 394 00:21:57,285 --> 00:21:58,920 A chela. 395 00:21:59,053 --> 00:22:00,955 What do you want to drink? What do you want to drink, eh? 396 00:22:06,828 --> 00:22:08,029 Gracias. 397 00:22:08,162 --> 00:22:10,363 Guys... it's gonna be okay. 398 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:12,533 Yeah. 399 00:22:13,568 --> 00:22:15,002 Hey, is that fool checking me out or what? 400 00:22:15,136 --> 00:22:19,707 What's up, ese! What's up? 401 00:22:31,552 --> 00:22:34,155 Mm. 402 00:22:34,288 --> 00:22:36,190 Tito. 403 00:22:36,324 --> 00:22:38,159 I feel like I'm starting 404 00:22:38,292 --> 00:22:40,161 the next Mexican American war here. 405 00:22:40,294 --> 00:22:42,395 I'm sorry, babe. 406 00:22:42,530 --> 00:22:44,497 I-- I'm sorry! 407 00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:56,443 Oh. 408 00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:02,183 I'm surprised my crib still isn't in here. 409 00:23:02,316 --> 00:23:03,784 You know, Claudia, 410 00:23:03,918 --> 00:23:05,519 if this is gonna be an issue with your family, 411 00:23:05,653 --> 00:23:07,255 I feel like I should probably just go. 412 00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:10,558 - What? No. - Yeah. 413 00:23:10,691 --> 00:23:12,960 Come here. Come here. 414 00:23:15,129 --> 00:23:16,831 It's not my family. 415 00:23:18,199 --> 00:23:19,967 It's my father. 416 00:23:22,603 --> 00:23:24,404 He just needs to get to know you 417 00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:26,941 in the same way that I know you. 418 00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:30,511 I love you. 419 00:23:30,645 --> 00:23:31,979 - I love you, too. - Ay, ay, ay! 420 00:23:36,951 --> 00:23:39,553 I think I strained-- I think I strained my back. 421 00:23:39,687 --> 00:23:42,924 Ah! I go get the Vicks. It's good for broken backs. 422 00:23:43,057 --> 00:23:45,660 Okay, you breathe... y ahí vas. 423 00:23:45,793 --> 00:23:47,128 You breathe... No, espérate. 424 00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:48,495 Ay, ay, ay... 425 00:23:59,807 --> 00:24:01,375 - Is that better? - No, no, no, no. 426 00:24:01,509 --> 00:24:03,377 You have to breathe it in. 427 00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:06,914 - A ver, a ver, how about now? - Sí. Uh-huh. It's not helping. 428 00:24:08,683 --> 00:24:10,151 I have to check the expiration date. 429 00:24:13,087 --> 00:24:15,488 - Hey! Mamá! You okay? You okay? - No, no, no. Sí, sí. 430 00:24:17,325 --> 00:24:20,061 Slow down. Okay, okay, okay. 431 00:24:21,362 --> 00:24:23,931 Relax, slow down... 432 00:24:24,065 --> 00:24:25,132 Slow down... 433 00:24:25,266 --> 00:24:26,734 - Hey, just... - Remember the yoga? 434 00:24:26,867 --> 00:24:28,502 - I do. - Don't break-- don't, uh... 435 00:24:28,636 --> 00:24:30,071 - I know what I'm doing, - Baby, be careful, please. Okay? 436 00:24:30,204 --> 00:24:31,471 - Deep breaths, please. - Okay. Sí. 437 00:24:31,605 --> 00:24:32,907 No, you're not gonna crack me. 438 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,642 I have kidney stone. Don't crack me. 439 00:24:34,775 --> 00:24:36,577 - I got this. - Be careful, baby, please, 440 00:24:36,711 --> 00:24:38,412 We're gonna move you this way, okay? 441 00:24:38,546 --> 00:24:40,014 - Okay. A ver. - Let's go slowly. 442 00:24:40,147 --> 00:24:41,615 - Baby, be careful. - And she's doing so good. 443 00:24:41,749 --> 00:24:43,684 - A ver... ay... - Just breathe... 444 00:24:43,818 --> 00:24:45,953 What the-- 445 00:24:46,087 --> 00:24:48,488 - ¿Qué pasa? No, no... - What the-- 446 00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:50,124 Ay, ¿que pasó? Dad! 447 00:24:50,257 --> 00:24:52,526 - What is this? - Okay, he was just helping-- 448 00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:56,063 Oh my God, he was just helping Mom with-- with-- with an injury from yoga. 449 00:24:56,197 --> 00:24:59,700 Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit? 450 00:25:02,036 --> 00:25:03,371 Dad... 451 00:25:03,504 --> 00:25:06,240 since when do we judge people by the color of their skin? 452 00:25:08,809 --> 00:25:10,344 Hey, this isn't about the color of his skin 453 00:25:10,478 --> 00:25:12,546 or the lack of color of his skin. All right? 454 00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,882 I like gringos. All right? 455 00:25:15,016 --> 00:25:17,752 Because of them, we have this amazing house in this great country. 456 00:25:17,885 --> 00:25:19,353 We have food on our table. 457 00:25:19,487 --> 00:25:21,989 I mean, I love their food. Pizza and hot dogs. 458 00:25:22,123 --> 00:25:24,058 I mean, there's no taste, like eating cardboard. 459 00:25:30,531 --> 00:25:34,468 How about, in front of all these witnesses, 460 00:25:34,602 --> 00:25:35,936 you make a promise... 461 00:25:37,772 --> 00:25:40,007 that you're gonna give him a chance? 462 00:25:41,442 --> 00:25:43,711 Just get to know him. 463 00:25:45,379 --> 00:25:47,782 Yeah, of course. 464 00:25:49,483 --> 00:25:50,584 Ay. 465 00:26:07,234 --> 00:26:08,235 Hey. 466 00:26:08,369 --> 00:26:09,770 Are you feeling better? 467 00:26:12,173 --> 00:26:14,442 You need to apologize to Leaf. 468 00:26:14,575 --> 00:26:16,277 Leif. 469 00:26:19,313 --> 00:26:21,816 You know, he actually fixed my back. 470 00:26:25,052 --> 00:26:26,320 He used to work con los estos... 471 00:26:30,591 --> 00:26:33,160 Anyway, I feel better. 472 00:26:35,196 --> 00:26:38,432 Y so maybe your handyboy can help us with this aqui. 473 00:26:38,567 --> 00:26:39,467 Hmm? 474 00:26:41,769 --> 00:26:44,271 - It's how they did it in Mexico. - It's a Christmas tree? 475 00:26:45,439 --> 00:26:46,307 Yeah! 476 00:26:48,442 --> 00:26:50,811 Listen, does nobody care about tradition around here except me? 477 00:26:50,945 --> 00:26:52,646 It's Christmas Eve. You know where they're at? 478 00:26:54,215 --> 00:26:56,117 eating tofu, con ese gringo. 479 00:26:56,250 --> 00:26:57,885 That's why Chicanos are losing their roots. 480 00:26:58,018 --> 00:26:59,554 First, we lost California, and then Arizona, 481 00:26:59,687 --> 00:27:01,388 and then Texas, and then New Mexico. 482 00:27:01,523 --> 00:27:03,724 New Mexico, they don't even consider themselves Mexicans. 483 00:27:03,858 --> 00:27:05,326 They consider themselves New Mexicans. 484 00:27:05,459 --> 00:27:06,894 How could you be a New Mexican? 485 00:27:07,027 --> 00:27:08,896 You know how? Because all old Mexicans are dying 486 00:27:09,029 --> 00:27:10,532 and the new ones are coming over, 487 00:27:10,664 --> 00:27:12,133 and where are they Christmas Eve? 488 00:27:12,266 --> 00:27:13,634 Eating tofu con un gringo! That's why! 489 00:27:15,936 --> 00:27:17,204 Am I doing everything wrong? 490 00:27:22,443 --> 00:27:23,978 Pero you're changing the subject. 491 00:27:24,111 --> 00:27:25,746 You're gonna go and apologize to Leaf. 492 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,648 Leif. 493 00:27:42,897 --> 00:27:45,634 Hey, vatos. Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out. 494 00:27:45,766 --> 00:27:48,637 I think he-he-- he's mad at something. 495 00:27:48,769 --> 00:27:50,137 Yeah, the foreigner. 496 00:27:50,271 --> 00:27:51,772 Say what, fool? You're from Puerto Rico. 497 00:27:51,906 --> 00:27:53,741 I'm mad at your mom for having you. 498 00:27:53,874 --> 00:27:55,843 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, let me school you real quick, ese. 499 00:27:55,976 --> 00:27:58,379 That is US territory, homie. 500 00:27:58,513 --> 00:27:59,880 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. 501 00:28:00,014 --> 00:28:01,616 - No, it's not, fool. - Yes, it is. 502 00:28:01,749 --> 00:28:03,350 Hey, you put pineapple on your pizza? 503 00:28:03,484 --> 00:28:05,386 Oh, yeah. I love piña. 504 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,154 You see? That's where you're confused. 505 00:28:07,288 --> 00:28:08,889 And soon your ass is gonna be singing 506 00:28:09,023 --> 00:28:10,925 country music in Spanish at a rap concert. 507 00:28:11,058 --> 00:28:12,793 What's that mean, ese? 508 00:28:12,927 --> 00:28:15,095 Says a jealous German-looking Mexican. 509 00:28:18,899 --> 00:28:20,301 - What's up, homie? - Hey, don't be judging 510 00:28:20,434 --> 00:28:21,835 no book by the color of the sleeve, homie. 511 00:28:21,969 --> 00:28:23,270 All right, what? 512 00:28:23,404 --> 00:28:25,739 Sleeve? These are sleeves. 513 00:28:25,873 --> 00:28:27,542 - Right here, homie. - That's a highlighter. 514 00:28:27,676 --> 00:28:30,477 Yeah, I could tat you up real quick, homie. Look, boom, tatted. 515 00:28:30,612 --> 00:28:31,912 What's up, Highlights? 516 00:28:32,046 --> 00:28:33,347 Hey, don't panic, fool. 517 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,483 - I'm Hispanic. - I guess he's organic. 518 00:28:36,618 --> 00:28:39,253 Hey, forget you fools. Put the music back on. 519 00:28:44,559 --> 00:28:48,295 - Señor Sanchez! - Ay, my eyes! 520 00:28:49,997 --> 00:28:53,267 Hey, give me the bull. Ahí te va el bull. 521 00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,135 Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 522 00:28:55,269 --> 00:28:56,937 - Ahí te va el bull. - Don't get too close. 523 00:28:57,071 --> 00:28:58,339 Watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out, watch out. 524 00:28:58,472 --> 00:29:00,741 Ahem. 525 00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:01,842 You okay? 526 00:29:04,044 --> 00:29:05,714 - I got you. - I want to say something-- 527 00:29:05,846 --> 00:29:07,147 say something to you. 528 00:29:07,982 --> 00:29:10,050 Uh, sí, señor Sanchez? 529 00:29:10,184 --> 00:29:13,220 - Can you do me a favor? - Sí. 530 00:29:13,354 --> 00:29:14,888 - Can you stop calling me that? - What? 531 00:29:15,022 --> 00:29:16,857 Señor Sanchez. 532 00:29:16,991 --> 00:29:18,660 You know what? Just call me Bennie instead. 533 00:29:18,792 --> 00:29:20,695 Sure thing. Yeah. 534 00:29:20,828 --> 00:29:23,330 Hey, so, Leif, I wanted to, uh, 535 00:29:23,464 --> 00:29:26,767 I wanted to apologize to you for earlier today. I mean, I-- 536 00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,604 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mr-- Señor-- Mr. Bennie, 537 00:29:29,738 --> 00:29:31,805 - it's really-- it's-- it-- - No. No, man, listen, I-- 538 00:29:31,939 --> 00:29:36,076 I mean, I thought, you know-- you looked like-- 539 00:29:36,210 --> 00:29:37,311 Aww, crap. 540 00:29:37,444 --> 00:29:39,280 Look at this bush! 541 00:29:39,413 --> 00:29:41,448 What a mess! Oh, here-- 542 00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:42,850 Here, I'll just-- 543 00:29:42,983 --> 00:29:45,419 No, it's all messed up. 544 00:29:48,289 --> 00:29:51,992 You know, I could, uh-- I could help you with that. 545 00:29:53,494 --> 00:29:54,428 Really? 546 00:29:55,996 --> 00:29:58,232 I know my way around a hedge. Yeah. 547 00:29:58,365 --> 00:29:59,768 - Really, huh? - Yeah. 548 00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:01,569 All right, don't go nowhere. Hang on. 549 00:30:03,170 --> 00:30:05,039 White boy is risking his huevos, eh? 550 00:30:08,543 --> 00:30:11,011 - Ah. Let's see. - Yeah. 551 00:30:11,145 --> 00:30:13,648 - All right. Good luck. Ahem. - Okay. 552 00:30:13,782 --> 00:30:15,416 Uh... 553 00:30:19,887 --> 00:30:21,021 All right. 554 00:30:36,504 --> 00:30:37,938 Damn. 555 00:30:40,341 --> 00:30:41,842 Damn, homie! I ain't never seen 556 00:30:41,975 --> 00:30:43,578 anything like this in my life. 557 00:30:45,412 --> 00:30:49,049 Wow! White boy gets down, eh? 558 00:30:58,192 --> 00:31:00,928 - Bring it in. - Oh, yeah. Let's go. 559 00:31:10,237 --> 00:31:12,774 Hey, he's a damn fool, ese. 560 00:31:12,906 --> 00:31:14,141 Palabra. 561 00:31:18,379 --> 00:31:19,913 Wow. 562 00:31:20,047 --> 00:31:21,583 Yeah, I think I know why that homegirl 563 00:31:21,716 --> 00:31:23,450 - fell in love with him, eh? - Mr. Bennie. 564 00:31:23,585 --> 00:31:25,119 Grass, homie. 565 00:31:30,424 --> 00:31:31,726 Thank you. 566 00:31:31,860 --> 00:31:35,329 Yeah, here you go. 567 00:31:36,865 --> 00:31:38,999 Any time. 568 00:31:39,133 --> 00:31:42,069 Did that White boy just teach that Mexican how to landscape? 569 00:31:42,202 --> 00:31:45,239 Look, Bennie's speechless. 570 00:31:45,372 --> 00:31:46,974 Hey, fools, and what's next? 571 00:31:47,107 --> 00:31:48,743 They gonna valet park our lowriders, ¿o qué? 572 00:31:48,877 --> 00:31:50,745 Hey, he better be careful with this thing, fool. 573 00:31:50,879 --> 00:31:53,313 - Palabra. - He ain't touching my car, fool. 574 00:32:01,723 --> 00:32:03,290 What do you think? 575 00:32:03,424 --> 00:32:05,993 Um, I mean, I like all of it, except for the flags. 576 00:32:06,126 --> 00:32:07,762 - What-- - What's wrong with the flag? 577 00:32:07,896 --> 00:32:09,296 Dad, it's Christmas, not Cinco de Mayo. 578 00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:12,065 Red, white and green. Jesus was Mexican. 579 00:32:13,233 --> 00:32:14,401 I never told you? 580 00:32:14,536 --> 00:32:16,170 His real name is Jesús, right? 581 00:32:16,303 --> 00:32:17,404 - Ay... - He'd ride around on a mule, 582 00:32:17,539 --> 00:32:19,106 lived at home until he was 33. 583 00:32:19,239 --> 00:32:20,642 - Mm-hmm. - Swears his mom was a virgin. 584 00:32:20,775 --> 00:32:22,276 Your tía Concha, she has seven kids 585 00:32:22,409 --> 00:32:24,411 and she swears that she's a virgin. 586 00:32:24,546 --> 00:32:26,714 Now, either she's lying or one of those kids is a Messiah. 587 00:32:26,848 --> 00:32:27,882 Okay, Dad, I love him. 588 00:32:28,015 --> 00:32:29,918 And your tío Gustavo, 589 00:32:30,050 --> 00:32:31,318 when he was locked up in county, said he found Jesus there. 590 00:32:31,452 --> 00:32:33,688 - Everybody loves Jesus. - Dad! 591 00:32:33,822 --> 00:32:35,355 I am trying to explain something to you here so we can have a real talk, 592 00:32:35,489 --> 00:32:37,057 but you're not really listening to me. 593 00:32:37,191 --> 00:32:38,459 Is there a way that we can meet in the middle? 594 00:32:38,593 --> 00:32:40,093 We need to have a talk, you and I. 595 00:32:40,227 --> 00:32:42,262 Wh-- Do you see this? 596 00:32:42,396 --> 00:32:43,964 You're not even paying attention to me. 597 00:32:44,097 --> 00:32:45,299 Father-daughter talk. 598 00:32:45,432 --> 00:32:47,569 Dad, what father-daughter talk? 599 00:32:47,702 --> 00:32:50,872 When people talk to each other, they also listen to what the other has to say. 600 00:32:51,004 --> 00:32:52,874 That's what a talk is. 601 00:32:53,006 --> 00:32:54,074 Father-daughter talk. Come on. 602 00:32:55,610 --> 00:32:57,010 Dad... Dad! 603 00:32:59,146 --> 00:33:01,014 Dad-- Are you not gonna get my door? 604 00:33:01,148 --> 00:33:03,050 Uh, okay. Wow, you changed. 605 00:33:03,183 --> 00:33:04,953 Cómo que change! See, in New York City, there's gentlemen. 606 00:33:05,085 --> 00:33:06,554 - Wow. - Gracias. 607 00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,088 All right, after you. 608 00:33:12,894 --> 00:33:15,128 This is fun. 609 00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:21,435 Okay, you know what, Dad? I wanna go home. 610 00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:23,505 Go-- no! W-we-- we just got here. 611 00:33:23,638 --> 00:33:25,940 What-- this is your favorite place. 612 00:33:26,073 --> 00:33:29,142 What? No, it's not and it never was. 613 00:33:29,276 --> 00:33:32,012 Cómo que never was? 614 00:33:32,145 --> 00:33:34,214 What-- what is this? Dad, I'm hungry. 615 00:33:34,348 --> 00:33:35,950 I want actual food. 616 00:33:38,887 --> 00:33:40,622 ¡Ay, qué rico! 617 00:33:40,755 --> 00:33:43,791 Hola. Hola, Leaf. 618 00:33:43,925 --> 00:33:48,428 Hi, Leaf, come here and dance with your tía. 619 00:33:53,367 --> 00:33:56,638 There you go. Oh, no, no, not like that. 620 00:33:56,771 --> 00:33:57,839 - No? - Oh, no. 621 00:33:57,972 --> 00:33:59,373 Feel the music. Yeah. 622 00:33:59,507 --> 00:34:02,209 Mm-hmm. 623 00:34:05,013 --> 00:34:06,681 Okay, come here. 624 00:34:08,315 --> 00:34:09,717 Vente, Leif, don't listen to her. 625 00:34:09,851 --> 00:34:11,218 No, she's okay. 626 00:34:11,351 --> 00:34:13,755 She's the non-recovered party girl of the house. 627 00:34:15,088 --> 00:34:16,691 - Ay, so yeah... - Wow. 628 00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:18,860 Have you tried the tamales? 629 00:34:18,993 --> 00:34:21,029 - Yes, yes, I have. They're great. - Yeah? Uh-huh. 630 00:34:21,161 --> 00:34:22,329 Although I don't find many places 631 00:34:22,462 --> 00:34:23,865 that make them back east. 632 00:34:23,998 --> 00:34:25,934 Yeah, uh, you're in for a treat this year, 633 00:34:26,066 --> 00:34:27,869 porque la Grandma Tita here, 634 00:34:28,002 --> 00:34:30,939 she's making her world famous, one-of-a-kind chicken tamales. 635 00:34:31,071 --> 00:34:32,406 - Uh-huh, oh yeah. Yeah. - Oh. 636 00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:34,174 You'll know what's good. 637 00:34:34,308 --> 00:34:35,610 - That sounds great. - Yeah. 638 00:34:37,645 --> 00:34:39,981 Dad, how come you never liked any of my boyfriends? 639 00:34:40,113 --> 00:34:42,684 You didn't even like Gabriel, and he was actually a good guy, 640 00:34:42,817 --> 00:34:44,151 and he came from a good family. 641 00:34:44,284 --> 00:34:45,720 Wait, well, who's that? Elmo? 642 00:34:45,853 --> 00:34:46,854 Elmo? 643 00:34:46,988 --> 00:34:48,656 El mojado! 644 00:34:50,058 --> 00:34:51,358 Dad! 645 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:55,930 He was not a wetback and you called Immigration on him. 646 00:34:56,064 --> 00:34:57,699 Don't exaggerate, all right? 647 00:34:57,832 --> 00:35:00,034 All I did was yell "La migra!" and that kid took off. 648 00:35:00,167 --> 00:35:01,736 Hey, he ran across country so fast, 649 00:35:01,869 --> 00:35:04,038 if they had a border Olympics, he would've won gold. 650 00:35:04,171 --> 00:35:06,507 Papá, that's not funny. 651 00:35:06,641 --> 00:35:09,877 Mira, Joaquin, Frankie, Antonio. 652 00:35:10,011 --> 00:35:11,813 It's like I could never have a boyfriend 653 00:35:11,946 --> 00:35:14,649 because you would always just make it so hard for me. 654 00:35:17,752 --> 00:35:19,988 Hey, well, you-- 655 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,889 Thank you. Back to the-- 656 00:35:22,023 --> 00:35:23,524 back to that cage. 657 00:35:23,658 --> 00:35:26,060 Um, you were too young to have boyfriends. 658 00:35:27,528 --> 00:35:28,563 What's your excuse now? 659 00:35:28,696 --> 00:35:30,430 Well, at least they're Mexicans. 660 00:35:30,565 --> 00:35:32,600 What about Javier? I know he's a little bit of a playboy, 661 00:35:32,734 --> 00:35:34,468 a little Don Juan thing going, 662 00:35:34,602 --> 00:35:36,470 but you know what, he's always been really nice to you. 663 00:35:36,604 --> 00:35:39,306 I am a strong, independent woman 664 00:35:39,439 --> 00:35:41,475 who is capable of making her own choices. 665 00:35:41,609 --> 00:35:44,144 You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about, 666 00:35:44,277 --> 00:35:46,547 because you're getting to the age that-- 667 00:35:46,681 --> 00:35:48,750 where-- 668 00:35:48,883 --> 00:35:50,384 Have you and Leif... 669 00:35:50,518 --> 00:35:52,620 I can't even believe I'm gonna say this... 670 00:35:52,754 --> 00:35:53,721 Mm. 671 00:35:53,855 --> 00:35:56,090 Has he taken your chanclas off? 672 00:35:56,223 --> 00:35:57,659 ¡Papá! 673 00:36:04,966 --> 00:36:06,868 I am 23 years old. 674 00:36:07,001 --> 00:36:09,236 I did not come here for you to tell me 675 00:36:09,369 --> 00:36:11,039 what it's like to be sin chanclas. 676 00:36:16,778 --> 00:36:19,479 Mira, well-- Hey, I've known you your whole life. 677 00:36:19,614 --> 00:36:20,782 He's known you two months. 678 00:36:37,330 --> 00:36:38,866 Hey, beautiful. 679 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:40,668 Javier? 680 00:36:40,802 --> 00:36:42,402 De la Torre? 681 00:36:48,609 --> 00:36:49,911 Would you look who it is? 682 00:36:50,044 --> 00:36:51,378 Mm-mm. 683 00:36:51,512 --> 00:36:53,981 - Hi. Oh! - How are you? 684 00:36:54,849 --> 00:36:57,018 Your mom told me you were coming home for Christmas. 685 00:36:57,151 --> 00:36:58,953 I just did not think your dad 686 00:36:59,087 --> 00:37:00,655 would bring you back to this place on your first day back. 687 00:37:00,788 --> 00:37:02,422 Yeah, you and me both. 688 00:37:02,557 --> 00:37:05,026 And he thinks I'm the one who still hasn't grown up. 689 00:37:05,159 --> 00:37:06,460 Can you believe that? 690 00:37:06,594 --> 00:37:09,463 I mean, you look pretty grown to me. 691 00:37:09,597 --> 00:37:11,999 So what do you think of my girl? 692 00:37:13,034 --> 00:37:16,269 Wow, she is really pretty. 693 00:37:16,403 --> 00:37:18,606 Not as pretty as you. 694 00:37:18,740 --> 00:37:19,640 Ay. 695 00:37:19,774 --> 00:37:22,309 So, where can I take you? 696 00:37:22,442 --> 00:37:25,412 As far away from here as possible. 697 00:37:25,546 --> 00:37:27,447 Your wish is my command. 698 00:37:27,582 --> 00:37:30,250 - Hm. - After you. 699 00:37:31,185 --> 00:37:34,387 - Gracias. - Mm-hmm. 700 00:37:44,498 --> 00:37:47,001 Let's get some tacos de asada, yeah? 701 00:37:47,135 --> 00:37:48,301 Sí. 702 00:37:55,843 --> 00:37:57,578 Can't I do anything to help out? 703 00:37:57,712 --> 00:37:59,547 I feel like I'm just sort of, uh, standing around. 704 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,282 - No. - You are just standing around. 705 00:38:02,415 --> 00:38:03,518 Get to work. 706 00:38:03,651 --> 00:38:04,819 Sí, señorito. 707 00:38:04,952 --> 00:38:06,888 A. Señorita. 708 00:38:07,021 --> 00:38:09,891 Oh, that's right. Uh, a, girls, o is for boys. 709 00:38:10,024 --> 00:38:13,561 - Sí. - Señorita. Señorita. Disculpe. 710 00:38:13,694 --> 00:38:15,863 You are disculpado. Hm. 711 00:38:15,997 --> 00:38:20,268 Now, everybody in this family helps out with the cooking. 712 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:22,369 I used to be a chef in Mexico. 713 00:38:22,503 --> 00:38:24,437 Mm, and a very good one. Mm-hmm. 714 00:38:24,572 --> 00:38:25,773 Wow, now I really can't wait to try 715 00:38:25,907 --> 00:38:27,742 your world-famous chicken tamales. 716 00:38:27,875 --> 00:38:31,612 You have to start with fresh, m'hijo. That's the secret. 717 00:38:31,746 --> 00:38:33,548 Now, Leaf, 718 00:38:33,681 --> 00:38:35,016 go into the kitchen 719 00:38:35,149 --> 00:38:38,052 and get the chicken out of the stove, please. 720 00:38:38,186 --> 00:38:41,956 Sí, señorita. 721 00:39:04,312 --> 00:39:05,880 Where's the chicken? 722 00:39:20,895 --> 00:39:22,997 You're stupid. Hi, baby. 723 00:39:23,130 --> 00:39:24,265 Hi. Hey. 724 00:39:24,397 --> 00:39:26,399 You must be Leaf. 725 00:39:27,735 --> 00:39:30,171 - I-- - You're a lucky man, bro. 726 00:39:32,173 --> 00:39:34,407 This is Javier. I just told him everything about you. 727 00:39:34,542 --> 00:39:36,177 I'm sure you did. 728 00:39:36,310 --> 00:39:37,945 He's just an old friend. 729 00:39:38,079 --> 00:39:40,848 By old friend, you mean friend or friend-friend? 730 00:39:40,982 --> 00:39:44,185 - Hmm? - Have you ever seen Claudia dance salsa? 731 00:39:44,318 --> 00:39:45,653 - No. - Ay, stop it. 732 00:39:45,786 --> 00:39:48,189 My friend, you are missing out. 733 00:39:48,322 --> 00:39:49,523 Stop it. 734 00:39:49,657 --> 00:39:50,892 There's goes that F word again. 735 00:39:51,025 --> 00:39:53,426 Don't worry, huerito. 736 00:39:53,561 --> 00:39:55,029 She'll show you. 737 00:39:55,162 --> 00:39:57,430 I'll see you around. It was nice to meet you... 738 00:39:57,565 --> 00:40:00,001 - Twig? - Epa, Leif, I told you. 739 00:40:07,241 --> 00:40:09,043 Is there something I should know about? 740 00:40:09,176 --> 00:40:10,778 Because if I don't know, I don't know, but if I know,-- 741 00:40:10,912 --> 00:40:13,281 Yeah. Actually, there is. 742 00:40:13,413 --> 00:40:16,350 I knew it. Damn, he's handsome. 743 00:40:16,483 --> 00:40:18,185 - And he can dance, too? - What? No, no. 744 00:40:18,319 --> 00:40:20,288 - He's just an old friend. - How long have you known him? 745 00:40:20,420 --> 00:40:21,789 He's just an old friend. I told you. 746 00:40:21,923 --> 00:40:23,958 My Dad, he took me to that cheese place. 747 00:40:24,091 --> 00:40:25,425 Where is your dad? 748 00:40:25,559 --> 00:40:27,662 Probably still playing at Cheesy Chuck. 749 00:40:27,795 --> 00:40:29,163 It's because of me, isn't it? 750 00:40:29,297 --> 00:40:31,098 Um, yeah, of course it is. 751 00:40:31,232 --> 00:40:32,967 You know, at first, I didn't think this was such a huge mistake, 752 00:40:33,100 --> 00:40:35,569 but now I'm really starting to think it is. 753 00:40:35,703 --> 00:40:37,672 You know, I'm sorry I don't speak Spanish 754 00:40:37,805 --> 00:40:39,674 or know how to salsa. 755 00:40:39,807 --> 00:40:41,409 You know, your dad would probably be more happy 756 00:40:41,542 --> 00:40:44,812 if you were with that Javier guy instead of me. 757 00:40:44,946 --> 00:40:47,748 Ay, ay, ay. Es que you men are impossible. 758 00:40:47,882 --> 00:40:50,184 Between trying to please you and please my father, 759 00:40:50,318 --> 00:40:52,920 I just feel like I can't win, so why do I even try? 760 00:40:53,054 --> 00:40:54,454 - I just-- - Where are you going? 761 00:40:54,588 --> 00:40:55,790 I-I don't know. I don't know. 762 00:40:55,923 --> 00:40:57,525 Wait! 763 00:41:03,130 --> 00:41:04,497 That was so sweet! 764 00:41:04,632 --> 00:41:06,667 - What? - ¡Cariño! 765 00:41:06,801 --> 00:41:08,703 I've never heard you say that before. 766 00:41:08,836 --> 00:41:11,439 Well, I mean, maybe I could say something right, you know. 767 00:41:11,572 --> 00:41:14,909 Well, yeah, for once. 768 00:41:15,042 --> 00:41:16,544 Aw. 769 00:41:16,677 --> 00:41:18,579 They're-- they're watching. 770 00:41:21,716 --> 00:41:23,117 You should teach me how to salsa. 771 00:41:23,250 --> 00:41:25,386 Oh, you want me to teach you how to salsa? 772 00:41:25,519 --> 00:41:27,722 You're gonna start with your feet like this, eh? 773 00:41:27,855 --> 00:41:29,489 Okay, you know what? Forget about your feet. 774 00:41:29,623 --> 00:41:31,092 - Like this? - Let's work on the hips. 775 00:41:31,225 --> 00:41:32,927 - Okay. Like this? - Okay, a little bit. Just-- 776 00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:34,695 Forget about your feet. Let's work on the hips. 777 00:41:34,829 --> 00:41:36,097 - Okay. - Okay. Uh-huh. 778 00:41:36,230 --> 00:41:38,566 I like that. 779 00:41:38,699 --> 00:41:39,900 - Okay, hold my hand, baby. - Like this? 780 00:41:40,034 --> 00:41:42,036 No, my love, move your hips. 781 00:41:42,169 --> 00:41:44,005 - How about this? - Okay, forget about the hips. 782 00:41:44,138 --> 00:41:46,874 How 'bout you just twirl me and then you dip me, okay? 783 00:41:47,008 --> 00:41:48,209 Okay. Okay. 784 00:41:48,342 --> 00:41:50,144 - Do what? Wait, wait. - Twirl and then d-- 785 00:41:50,277 --> 00:41:52,613 - Baby! - Um, I'm okay! 786 00:41:52,747 --> 00:41:55,082 - Seriously? - What are you guys doing? 787 00:41:55,216 --> 00:41:57,318 - I-- Oh, God, how long-- - Oh, I didn't mean to do that. 788 00:41:57,451 --> 00:41:59,854 I-- how long have you been standing there? When did you get home? 789 00:41:59,987 --> 00:42:02,123 Long enough to see Mr. Leif doesn't know what he's doing. 790 00:42:02,256 --> 00:42:04,658 We were just-- we were just having fun, Dad. 791 00:42:04,792 --> 00:42:06,894 We were just dancing. 792 00:42:07,028 --> 00:42:09,096 Dancing. Where I come from, you see a guy moving like that, you call him a pinguino. 793 00:42:09,230 --> 00:42:10,998 - Let me show you how it's done. - Here we go. 794 00:42:11,132 --> 00:42:14,368 - Here, give a little spin here, comes back. - Mm-hmm. 795 00:42:14,502 --> 00:42:17,038 When you get more advanced, you can spin her again. 796 00:42:17,171 --> 00:42:18,906 She comes to you, hi, and she comes back. 797 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,042 Así, just like that. Beautiful. 798 00:42:21,175 --> 00:42:24,078 - All right, now it's your turn. - All right. 799 00:42:24,211 --> 00:42:25,413 Okay. 800 00:42:25,546 --> 00:42:27,114 No, no, not with her. With me. 801 00:42:27,248 --> 00:42:31,619 - What? - Come on. Yeah, come on. 802 00:42:31,752 --> 00:42:33,287 Hey. You have to feel it, all right, pinguino? 803 00:42:33,421 --> 00:42:35,389 Right here. You have to feel it. Do you feel it? 804 00:42:35,524 --> 00:42:36,957 - No. - Then you do a nice little turn 805 00:42:37,091 --> 00:42:38,692 and come back. Okay. 806 00:42:38,826 --> 00:42:40,428 A bailar! 807 00:42:40,561 --> 00:42:42,329 - It's all about confidence, okay? - Okay. 808 00:42:42,463 --> 00:42:44,999 All right, I got you right here. 809 00:42:45,132 --> 00:42:46,535 - Okay. - Nice and ea-- Ah! 810 00:42:46,667 --> 00:42:48,469 Ah! 811 00:42:48,602 --> 00:42:50,671 Then I go into a bridge. 812 00:42:50,805 --> 00:42:52,740 And tight, tight, tight. 813 00:42:57,211 --> 00:42:59,080 Oh. 814 00:43:00,381 --> 00:43:02,283 What happened? 815 00:43:02,416 --> 00:43:05,086 I was at Cluck-Y-Cheese with Claudia to have a father-daughter talk. 816 00:43:05,219 --> 00:43:07,988 She hates that place. 817 00:43:08,122 --> 00:43:09,590 Why does everybody say that? 818 00:43:09,723 --> 00:43:11,058 Bueno, y how was it? 819 00:43:12,793 --> 00:43:16,063 What do you think? 820 00:43:16,197 --> 00:43:18,567 Now I know where the brown eggs come from. 821 00:43:23,270 --> 00:43:26,541 Entonces what happened? 822 00:43:26,674 --> 00:43:27,775 We got in a little argument. 823 00:43:29,944 --> 00:43:31,846 Where is she now? 824 00:43:31,979 --> 00:43:36,717 Now, she's outside dancing salsa con el gringo. 825 00:43:36,851 --> 00:43:39,487 Oh, well, that's good. 826 00:43:39,620 --> 00:43:41,222 That's great. 827 00:43:42,490 --> 00:43:43,757 Yeah. 828 00:43:45,392 --> 00:43:47,094 Okay. 829 00:43:49,697 --> 00:43:52,199 Ay... 830 00:43:52,333 --> 00:43:54,869 And all I wanted was to have a perfect Christmas. 831 00:43:55,002 --> 00:43:59,240 Ow, ow... 832 00:44:08,782 --> 00:44:10,184 Okay, baby, 833 00:44:10,317 --> 00:44:12,253 so my Aunt Carmen is in the guest bedroom, 834 00:44:12,386 --> 00:44:14,523 but make sure that you don't go in there, 835 00:44:14,655 --> 00:44:17,658 because otherwise you'll be dancing to cumbias all night, okay? 836 00:44:19,326 --> 00:44:21,996 But I'm sure Tootsie here wouldn't mind you being 837 00:44:22,129 --> 00:44:25,966 her little bed buddy, right, Tootsie? 838 00:44:28,570 --> 00:44:31,972 Well, at least tomorrow is Christmas Eve, you know. 839 00:44:32,106 --> 00:44:35,476 I mean, what could possibly go wrong then? 840 00:44:35,610 --> 00:44:37,945 Mm, just a few Mexican ticks. 841 00:44:38,078 --> 00:44:41,215 Yeah. 842 00:44:41,348 --> 00:44:44,451 I'll see you in the morning. 843 00:44:46,987 --> 00:44:48,689 If not before then. 844 00:44:48,822 --> 00:44:51,091 Oh. 845 00:45:01,670 --> 00:45:03,170 Yeah. 846 00:45:27,027 --> 00:45:28,530 - Let's go, baby. Come on. - Woo! 847 00:45:28,663 --> 00:45:30,599 - Okay, I'm trying, baby. - That's my baby girl. 848 00:45:32,534 --> 00:45:34,536 - Get her away from the remote. - - Oh, yeah. 849 00:45:34,669 --> 00:45:36,904 - You're doing great. You learning? - She's doing fine. 850 00:45:37,037 --> 00:45:39,340 - What's this nonsense? - Oh! 851 00:45:39,473 --> 00:45:43,511 It's actually a prototype from Leif's new game that he built. Ooh! 852 00:45:43,645 --> 00:45:46,213 He actually even sold it to a big company. 853 00:45:46,347 --> 00:45:48,882 - So, you play games for a living? - I design them. 854 00:45:49,016 --> 00:45:52,353 Oh, yes! Score, huerito! Woo-hoo! 855 00:45:52,486 --> 00:45:54,788 So, pushing buttons so some space idiotas 856 00:45:54,922 --> 00:45:57,324 can kill each other is your idea of a game? 857 00:45:59,093 --> 00:46:00,427 Hey, let me tell you something. 858 00:46:00,562 --> 00:46:02,296 A game isn't played in someone's living room. 859 00:46:02,429 --> 00:46:04,164 No, no. No. Ay. 860 00:46:04,298 --> 00:46:07,569 A real game is played on a field 120 yards long 861 00:46:07,702 --> 00:46:10,572 and 80 yards deep, and it's called football. 862 00:46:10,705 --> 00:46:11,939 Do you mean soccer? 863 00:46:12,072 --> 00:46:13,675 That's what you gringos call it, okay? 864 00:46:13,807 --> 00:46:17,244 Football was invented by my Aztec ancestors 700 years ago. 865 00:46:17,378 --> 00:46:19,179 And you know what they did to you if you lost? 866 00:46:19,313 --> 00:46:22,016 - Uh, sent you to the locker room? - No, man. 867 00:46:22,149 --> 00:46:23,718 They sacrificed you to the gods. 868 00:46:23,851 --> 00:46:25,986 Ripped open your chest and they pulled out your live, 869 00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:27,488 still beating heart. 870 00:46:27,622 --> 00:46:29,023 - My God. - On that field, 871 00:46:29,156 --> 00:46:31,925 you became a man, an hombre, un patrón. 872 00:46:32,059 --> 00:46:34,562 - Oh, like the tequila! - Not like the tequila. 873 00:46:34,696 --> 00:46:36,196 Patrón is a boss. 874 00:46:36,330 --> 00:46:38,032 Claudia said that you're a captain, man. 875 00:46:38,165 --> 00:46:39,734 Are you a captain? 876 00:46:39,867 --> 00:46:42,771 Mm, I was the captain of my high school debate team. 877 00:46:42,903 --> 00:46:46,040 Oh, debate! Wow, sounds muy macho. 878 00:46:46,173 --> 00:46:47,676 All right, captain. 879 00:46:47,808 --> 00:46:50,578 It's time for you to play the game of the gods. 880 00:46:52,046 --> 00:46:53,280 Meet you on the field in half an hour. 881 00:46:53,414 --> 00:46:55,717 She knows where it is. 882 00:46:55,849 --> 00:46:58,819 In-- in the park? 883 00:46:58,952 --> 00:47:00,020 Ay, no. 884 00:47:14,569 --> 00:47:18,707 Ay, ay, ay... Afternoon, huerito. 885 00:47:18,839 --> 00:47:20,040 Hey. 886 00:47:20,174 --> 00:47:22,544 Did you get a good night's rest? 887 00:47:22,677 --> 00:47:24,445 I hear you're quite the local celebrity. 888 00:47:24,579 --> 00:47:27,047 No, man, Claudia's the one who's the rock star. 889 00:47:28,382 --> 00:47:31,352 So you and Claudia, you, uh, know each other quite well, huh? 890 00:47:31,485 --> 00:47:34,088 Like brother and sister, amigo. 891 00:47:34,221 --> 00:47:37,257 You know, she does a really good in and out. 892 00:47:37,391 --> 00:47:39,226 You should have her show you sometime. 893 00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:41,663 - Excuse me? - Uh, it's a salsa move, 894 00:47:41,796 --> 00:47:44,932 where you bring the lady in, and then you lead her right back out. 895 00:47:45,065 --> 00:47:46,433 Here, let me show you, Leaf... 896 00:47:48,803 --> 00:47:50,572 - Come on. - Have a good game, huerito. 897 00:47:50,705 --> 00:47:52,106 Twig. 898 00:47:52,239 --> 00:47:54,108 - Sorry, babe. - Let's go, y'all. 899 00:47:54,241 --> 00:47:55,442 This is a very dangerous game, okay? 900 00:47:55,577 --> 00:47:57,177 So you're gonna have to follow my lead. 901 00:47:57,311 --> 00:47:59,279 Vámonos. 902 00:48:09,691 --> 00:48:10,958 Where'd you go, potty? 903 00:48:11,091 --> 00:48:13,894 ¿Qué? 904 00:48:14,027 --> 00:48:15,764 Heads or tails? 905 00:48:15,896 --> 00:48:17,164 Tails. 906 00:48:17,297 --> 00:48:20,300 I knew you were gonna pick tails. 907 00:48:20,434 --> 00:48:22,403 - Ah! Aguas! - ¡Eso! 908 00:48:22,537 --> 00:48:24,204 Damnit. 909 00:48:24,338 --> 00:48:26,373 Get ready to have a long day there, One Direction. 910 00:48:26,508 --> 00:48:28,208 Your starting position is right here. Okay? 911 00:48:28,342 --> 00:48:29,744 - Right here? - Yeah. You got it, baby! 912 00:48:29,878 --> 00:48:31,078 Come on. 913 00:48:31,211 --> 00:48:33,180 - ¡Portero! - What do I do? 914 00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:35,015 - Get the left side of the field! 915 00:48:35,149 --> 00:48:37,317 Oh, this dude's got nothing, homie. Let's go. 916 00:48:37,451 --> 00:48:39,453 Baby, don't use your hands! 917 00:48:39,587 --> 00:48:41,321 - Foul! You can't use your hands! - He fouled! 918 00:48:41,455 --> 00:48:43,056 Google it! 919 00:48:43,190 --> 00:48:44,626 - Baby, you can't use your hands, babe. - Okay! 920 00:48:44,759 --> 00:48:46,393 - You used your your fist. - That was illegal. 921 00:48:46,528 --> 00:48:48,563 Ha! That wasn't the only thing illegal here. 922 00:48:48,696 --> 00:48:50,665 - Hey, give me some Vicks! - No problem. 923 00:48:50,799 --> 00:48:53,133 I have my Vicks. 924 00:48:53,267 --> 00:48:55,102 - I was protecting myself. - From what? 925 00:48:55,235 --> 00:48:57,004 - From the ball. - From the soccer ball? 926 00:48:57,137 --> 00:48:58,540 Get him a helmet. 927 00:48:58,673 --> 00:48:59,808 Come on, stay alert, stay alert! 928 00:49:01,676 --> 00:49:02,943 Let's do this! 929 00:49:05,112 --> 00:49:07,214 Watch out, chaparrito, watch out, fool! 930 00:49:07,347 --> 00:49:09,283 Why are you running, fool? 931 00:49:09,416 --> 00:49:11,185 That's right! 932 00:49:11,318 --> 00:49:13,755 - Why you move? - Goal! 933 00:49:29,002 --> 00:49:31,004 What are you looking at, ese? 934 00:49:37,579 --> 00:49:41,114 El Mighty, you're coming to work, ese. 935 00:49:51,526 --> 00:49:54,796 I think you killed him, fool! 936 00:50:08,810 --> 00:50:11,011 Oh, ouch. 937 00:50:11,779 --> 00:50:12,747 Ooh. 938 00:50:14,481 --> 00:50:15,617 Ay. 939 00:50:45,847 --> 00:50:47,815 Snow in East L.A.? 940 00:50:49,517 --> 00:50:51,619 What are these fools doing out there? 941 00:51:13,541 --> 00:51:15,777 Why isn't Grandpa here with us? 942 00:51:17,812 --> 00:51:21,649 Oh, come sit down, sweetie. Why are you asking that question? 943 00:51:21,783 --> 00:51:25,053 Well, grandma said the reason why he isn't here 944 00:51:25,185 --> 00:51:27,354 is because he went to the North Pole. 945 00:51:27,487 --> 00:51:29,023 Mm-hmm. 946 00:51:29,156 --> 00:51:31,759 Actually, son, he went south to Mexico. 947 00:51:31,893 --> 00:51:35,362 'Cause all he ever wanted was a Mexican Christmas. 948 00:51:35,495 --> 00:51:37,665 Uh-- there's Christmas in Mexico? 949 00:51:37,799 --> 00:51:39,834 - Mm-hmm. - Of course, sweetie. 950 00:51:39,968 --> 00:51:41,401 Christmas is everywhere. 951 00:51:41,536 --> 00:51:44,171 If there's Christmas everywhere, 952 00:51:44,304 --> 00:51:46,040 then why isn't he here? 953 00:51:46,173 --> 00:51:48,342 And also, why is he in Mexico? 954 00:51:48,475 --> 00:51:53,047 Well, because he complained so much about living here 955 00:51:53,180 --> 00:51:55,482 that he went back to Mexico. 956 00:51:55,617 --> 00:51:58,653 Mm-hmm. And he lived happily ever after. 957 00:51:59,854 --> 00:52:02,590 He has a lot of Mexican friends. 958 00:52:02,724 --> 00:52:04,792 Is he happy? 959 00:52:04,926 --> 00:52:09,162 He loves it. He even has a burro. 960 00:52:10,263 --> 00:52:11,899 I'm confused, Mom. 961 00:52:12,033 --> 00:52:16,004 Scoot in a little bit, yeah, sweetie? Let's eat. 962 00:52:16,136 --> 00:52:18,138 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 963 00:52:20,908 --> 00:52:23,011 I'm sorry if I woke you up, Mr. Sanchez. 964 00:52:25,212 --> 00:52:27,115 Is that all you're sorry about? 965 00:52:27,247 --> 00:52:28,415 Oh... 966 00:52:29,817 --> 00:52:31,251 Are you okay? 967 00:52:31,385 --> 00:52:33,821 My head hurts, no thanks to you. 968 00:52:35,623 --> 00:52:37,558 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. 969 00:52:40,293 --> 00:52:43,798 Leif, what are you doing here? 970 00:52:45,432 --> 00:52:47,200 It's because of Claudia. 971 00:52:48,670 --> 00:52:50,404 Okay. 972 00:52:50,538 --> 00:52:52,573 I know what it's like to be young, 973 00:52:52,707 --> 00:52:54,942 and I know what you want from her, 974 00:52:55,076 --> 00:52:58,311 so please, don't make me out to be some pendejo, okay? 975 00:52:58,445 --> 00:53:00,948 Is that how you felt about your wife when you first met her? 976 00:53:03,918 --> 00:53:05,820 Okay, for once, 977 00:53:05,953 --> 00:53:09,423 can you just please be clear about what you're trying to say? 978 00:53:14,762 --> 00:53:16,363 Mr. Sanchez... 979 00:53:18,966 --> 00:53:22,235 I would like to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. 980 00:53:22,369 --> 00:53:23,604 Leif-- 981 00:53:24,371 --> 00:53:25,807 You know, I don't wanna say the cliches, 982 00:53:25,940 --> 00:53:28,308 like our love story began in a single glance 983 00:53:28,442 --> 00:53:31,411 and, you know, it was at that moment that I knew... 984 00:53:31,546 --> 00:53:34,481 that I had encountered my soulmate. 985 00:53:34,615 --> 00:53:36,718 But that's exactly what I'm saying. 986 00:53:39,352 --> 00:53:41,254 Mr. Sanchez. 987 00:53:42,023 --> 00:53:43,390 Are you okay? 988 00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:14,555 - There you are. - Hey, hey. 989 00:54:14,689 --> 00:54:16,557 I was looking for you. You're gonna miss the piñata. 990 00:54:16,691 --> 00:54:21,229 Oh, well, I was, um, talking to your dad. 991 00:54:21,361 --> 00:54:22,663 Oh, is-- is he okay? Did he wake up? 992 00:54:22,797 --> 00:54:26,701 Yeah. Yeah, um, well, sort of. 993 00:54:26,834 --> 00:54:27,935 Sort of? 994 00:54:29,237 --> 00:54:30,872 He was a little unresponsive. 995 00:54:31,005 --> 00:54:32,439 - Unresponsive. What-- - No, um-- 996 00:54:32,573 --> 00:54:34,976 what do you mean by unresponsive? What-- 997 00:54:35,109 --> 00:54:37,812 I asked your father if I could have his permission-- 998 00:54:40,047 --> 00:54:41,916 D-Dad? 999 00:54:42,049 --> 00:54:43,985 Dad! Dad! 1000 00:54:44,118 --> 00:54:47,054 Is this what you mean by unresponsive? Dad! 1001 00:54:51,491 --> 00:54:54,028 All righty. Let's get this-- 1002 00:54:54,162 --> 00:54:56,496 How are the tamales, Tita? 1003 00:54:56,631 --> 00:54:58,431 Is that question rhetorical? 1004 00:55:00,802 --> 00:55:01,401 Oh. 1005 00:55:07,175 --> 00:55:08,441 - Hey. - ¿Qué? 1006 00:55:16,617 --> 00:55:18,318 Ay! 1007 00:55:54,155 --> 00:55:56,057 Over here, m'hijo! You okay? 1008 00:55:57,525 --> 00:55:58,726 We all gathered here 1009 00:55:58,860 --> 00:56:01,028 for what we thought was gonna be 1010 00:56:01,162 --> 00:56:04,031 a traditional Mexican 1011 00:56:04,165 --> 00:56:08,102 Latino Chicano Christmas. 1012 00:56:08,236 --> 00:56:12,907 But because of this gringo right here... 1013 00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,242 Aw. 1014 00:56:14,374 --> 00:56:16,110 ...I lost my self-respect, 1015 00:56:16,244 --> 00:56:17,712 my dignity, 1016 00:56:17,845 --> 00:56:20,147 and I've been humiliated in front of my family. 1017 00:56:20,281 --> 00:56:24,919 But since it's Christmas, a time to be joyful and merry, 1018 00:56:25,052 --> 00:56:28,122 I've come out here with a pasted-on smile. 1019 00:56:28,256 --> 00:56:30,825 It's a season to be happy and joyful, 1020 00:56:30,958 --> 00:56:32,994 just to tell you, cabrones, Merry Christmas! 1021 00:56:33,127 --> 00:56:34,262 Feliz Navidad. 1022 00:56:34,394 --> 00:56:36,631 Not on my tradition. 1023 00:56:38,099 --> 00:56:39,367 Not on my Christmas! 1024 00:56:39,499 --> 00:56:41,335 Your Christmas? 1025 00:56:43,470 --> 00:56:45,940 What do you mean, your Christmas? 1026 00:56:46,073 --> 00:56:47,975 Dad, Christmas is supposed to be for everyone, 1027 00:56:48,109 --> 00:56:51,579 and you have done every possible thing to destroy it. 1028 00:56:52,980 --> 00:56:55,950 Perdóneme, señor Sanchez. 1029 00:56:58,386 --> 00:56:59,787 What did you say? 1030 00:57:01,889 --> 00:57:04,258 You know what I just said. 1031 00:57:04,392 --> 00:57:08,296 Now, you-you hear it, but you don't listen. 1032 00:57:08,428 --> 00:57:10,131 - Which is... - Um-- 1033 00:57:10,264 --> 00:57:12,600 ...exactly why Claudia's more than kind of upset with you, 1034 00:57:12,733 --> 00:57:14,902 in case you haven't heard. 1035 00:57:15,036 --> 00:57:18,639 What gives you the right to speak to me like that in my own house? 1036 00:57:20,107 --> 00:57:22,910 Speak to you in what way? 1037 00:57:23,044 --> 00:57:24,845 It won't matter which way I speak to you, 1038 00:57:24,979 --> 00:57:26,479 because you hate this gringo. 1039 00:57:28,481 --> 00:57:29,817 You know, yet I've done everything 1040 00:57:29,951 --> 00:57:32,620 to not only be good to your daughter, 1041 00:57:32,753 --> 00:57:35,156 but to be good to your entire family. 1042 00:57:37,625 --> 00:57:40,995 You know, and not even because I had to, 1043 00:57:41,128 --> 00:57:43,463 because I wanted to. 1044 00:57:44,298 --> 00:57:47,301 You know, I danced the salsa for you guys. 1045 00:57:47,435 --> 00:57:49,603 - Yeah. - You know? 1046 00:57:49,737 --> 00:57:51,272 I played soccer. 1047 00:57:51,405 --> 00:57:53,874 Oh, sorry, I'm saying that wrong. Football. 1048 00:57:54,008 --> 00:57:56,544 I almost got killed by a chicken, man, 1049 00:57:56,677 --> 00:57:58,612 and I trimmed your hedges for you. 1050 00:57:58,746 --> 00:58:01,582 And I showed you respect by asking for Claudia's hand in marriage. 1051 00:58:01,716 --> 00:58:03,084 That was out of respect. 1052 00:58:05,319 --> 00:58:07,521 Yet you show absolutely none to your own daughter, 1053 00:58:07,655 --> 00:58:10,091 but this isn't or shouldn't even be about me. 1054 00:58:10,224 --> 00:58:12,626 It should be about her. 1055 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:16,097 If you truly loved her, 1056 00:58:16,230 --> 00:58:17,932 you wouldn't treat her this way. 1057 00:58:18,065 --> 00:58:20,634 A ver... 1058 00:58:20,768 --> 00:58:25,072 Excuse me. A ver, he-- um-- 1059 00:58:25,206 --> 00:58:26,841 he asked you for Claudia's hand in marriage 1060 00:58:26,974 --> 00:58:28,576 and you didn't tell me? You didn't te-- I mean, 1061 00:58:28,709 --> 00:58:31,512 maybe he got a concussion, no? 1062 00:58:39,353 --> 00:58:40,888 Is it normal to, uh-- 1063 00:58:41,022 --> 00:58:42,790 to not be able to breathe properly right now? 1064 00:58:49,797 --> 00:58:51,532 Okay, okay, this is a season to be merry, 1065 00:58:51,665 --> 00:58:53,601 - not to get married. - Happy holidays. 1066 00:58:54,969 --> 00:58:57,071 W-- what, hey. Don't leave. 1067 00:58:57,204 --> 00:58:59,340 Don't leave until we open these goddamn presents. 1068 00:59:02,643 --> 00:59:05,379 You got the party you wanted, no? 1069 00:59:09,016 --> 00:59:11,185 I hope you're proud of yourself, eh? 1070 00:59:23,297 --> 00:59:24,698 Damn, vatos! 1071 00:59:24,832 --> 00:59:27,234 The-the-the-there goes the n-the-n-n-neighborhood. 1072 00:59:27,368 --> 00:59:29,603 You're the wrong guy to be saying that, ese. 1073 00:59:29,737 --> 00:59:30,805 No, really, ese. 1074 00:59:30,938 --> 00:59:32,606 There goes the neighborhood. 1075 00:59:33,574 --> 00:59:35,109 Why they look all sad? 1076 00:59:35,242 --> 00:59:37,044 Because the party wack, fool. We weren't invited. 1077 00:59:37,178 --> 00:59:39,514 - I would've gone. Shh. - That's right, ese. 1078 00:59:39,647 --> 00:59:40,948 Wait, wait, where are you going? 1079 00:59:41,082 --> 00:59:42,450 Guys, don't go. The party-- 1080 00:59:44,385 --> 00:59:46,220 I don't know! The party's gonna be great! 1081 01:00:12,780 --> 01:00:14,081 Babe... 1082 01:00:14,949 --> 01:00:16,817 your father doesn't like me. 1083 01:00:17,586 --> 01:00:19,854 Because I'm, you know. 1084 01:00:19,987 --> 01:00:22,490 - I've ruined Christmas for everyone. - No, you didn't. 1085 01:00:22,623 --> 01:00:26,561 - Yes, I did. - Babe, my family got the best present this year, 1086 01:00:26,694 --> 01:00:28,295 and that's you as my husband. 1087 01:00:28,429 --> 01:00:30,297 When I saw how close you were to your family, 1088 01:00:30,431 --> 01:00:32,534 I knew I could never propose without your father's permission. 1089 01:00:32,666 --> 01:00:34,168 Look, my dad, 1090 01:00:34,301 --> 01:00:37,071 he was just surprised by you, that's all, okay? 1091 01:00:37,204 --> 01:00:38,739 You know that's not all. I mean, you-- 1092 01:00:38,873 --> 01:00:40,341 you yourself said your father liked surprises. 1093 01:00:40,474 --> 01:00:42,209 I don't even know what he likes anymore. 1094 01:00:42,343 --> 01:00:44,311 Well, we know he doesn't like gringos. 1095 01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:49,750 Babe, my father doesn't care if you're white, or red or green. 1096 01:00:49,884 --> 01:00:52,887 I'm sure he would mind if I was green. 1097 01:00:59,026 --> 01:01:01,128 My father finds a reason to not like someone 1098 01:01:01,262 --> 01:01:03,130 and then he just sticks to it, 1099 01:01:03,264 --> 01:01:05,567 even if that's not really the reason. 1100 01:01:05,699 --> 01:01:07,536 Just admit it. 1101 01:01:07,668 --> 01:01:10,171 This whole thing was a huge mistake. 1102 01:01:10,304 --> 01:01:14,742 Well, what do you mean? What thing? Like-- 1103 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:15,676 like us? 1104 01:01:15,809 --> 01:01:17,144 Your father, he-- 1105 01:01:17,278 --> 01:01:18,979 he had different plans for Christmas. 1106 01:01:19,113 --> 01:01:21,182 You know, probably had different plans for your life. 1107 01:01:21,315 --> 01:01:23,117 You know, I know how close you are to your family 1108 01:01:23,250 --> 01:01:25,186 and that's why I wanted to spend Christmas with them. 1109 01:01:25,319 --> 01:01:30,090 No, no, Leif. Leif, please, don't go. 1110 01:01:30,224 --> 01:01:32,193 Leif. Leif. 1111 01:01:32,326 --> 01:01:33,794 I'm sorry. 1112 01:02:03,991 --> 01:02:06,393 Hey, perrito, stick around! 1113 01:02:06,528 --> 01:02:07,629 You guys can make this work! 1114 01:02:07,761 --> 01:02:09,631 True love prevails, eh? 1115 01:02:14,735 --> 01:02:16,837 You think I have a chance with her now? 1116 01:02:16,971 --> 01:02:18,472 Hey, you know what? 1117 01:02:18,607 --> 01:02:20,174 This for you, homie. 1118 01:02:24,211 --> 01:02:26,146 Gonna miss you in the hood, huero. 1119 01:02:29,551 --> 01:02:31,118 Peace out, homie. 1120 01:02:32,386 --> 01:02:34,556 Man. 1121 01:02:34,689 --> 01:02:37,525 I actually liked that fool, dog. 1122 01:02:50,004 --> 01:02:53,307 You know, any dad would love to have 1123 01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,309 a son-in-law like Leif. 1124 01:03:16,531 --> 01:03:21,335 Well, merry freakin' Christmas to us, huh? 1125 01:03:48,962 --> 01:03:51,198 - Have a good one. - Thank you. 1126 01:04:11,185 --> 01:04:12,754 Hi, m'hija. 1127 01:04:12,886 --> 01:04:15,557 Your presents are out there waiting for you. 1128 01:04:15,690 --> 01:04:17,191 I mean, we could o-- 1129 01:04:17,324 --> 01:04:19,126 we could open them all together, 1130 01:04:19,259 --> 01:04:20,562 like we used to do when you were a little girl. 1131 01:04:20,695 --> 01:04:23,364 I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad, 1132 01:04:23,497 --> 01:04:25,533 whether you wanna accept it or not. 1133 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:27,334 Okay. 1134 01:04:27,468 --> 01:04:29,236 That little girl in those pictures is my daughter. 1135 01:04:29,370 --> 01:04:32,005 No, no, Dad. I'm your daughter, okay? 1136 01:04:32,139 --> 01:04:34,041 Aquí mismo, eh? Life-sized. 1137 01:04:34,174 --> 01:04:37,846 Not everything is about you. 1138 01:04:37,978 --> 01:04:39,581 You know, why-- 1139 01:04:40,914 --> 01:04:44,918 Why can't it be a boy from the neighborhood like Javier? 1140 01:04:45,052 --> 01:04:46,821 I mean, he's handsome. He's smart. 1141 01:04:46,954 --> 01:04:48,590 He's got a good job. He loves his mom, 1142 01:04:48,723 --> 01:04:50,491 - and goes to church every Sun-- - And is gay. 1143 01:04:52,092 --> 01:04:53,862 He's gay? 1144 01:04:53,994 --> 01:04:56,463 Yeah, Dad, that's a thing. 1145 01:04:56,598 --> 01:04:58,365 Whether you know it or not, eh? 1146 01:04:59,933 --> 01:05:04,204 I should've known because he would dance without music, and not... 1147 01:05:04,338 --> 01:05:05,807 Man, should've seen it. 1148 01:05:05,939 --> 01:05:08,075 Aparte que even if he wasn't, I wa-- 1149 01:05:08,208 --> 01:05:10,545 that's not who I fell in love with. 1150 01:05:10,678 --> 01:05:12,279 And you should be able to understand that 1151 01:05:12,413 --> 01:05:14,415 because I make my own decisions. 1152 01:05:15,817 --> 01:05:19,253 And now you won't even get the chance to get to know him. 1153 01:05:22,222 --> 01:05:24,057 You broke his heart and mine. 1154 01:05:24,191 --> 01:05:27,695 No, don't say that. Don't say that. 1155 01:05:29,531 --> 01:05:32,099 He had nothing growing up, eh? 1156 01:05:32,232 --> 01:05:34,301 His parents were poor. 1157 01:05:35,068 --> 01:05:37,605 He had to wash dishes, 1158 01:05:37,739 --> 01:05:40,107 mow lawns, park cars. 1159 01:05:42,544 --> 01:05:45,446 He worked hard for everything that he had, 1160 01:05:45,580 --> 01:05:48,382 just like you did. 1161 01:05:55,289 --> 01:05:59,794 What's that? 1162 01:05:59,928 --> 01:06:02,496 He reminded me a lot of you. 1163 01:06:10,939 --> 01:06:14,676 No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. 1164 01:06:19,614 --> 01:06:24,552 That kid wasn't that bad after all, wasn't he? 1165 01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:31,358 On Christmas morning... 1166 01:06:33,595 --> 01:06:36,230 I wanted a bike like all the other little kids. 1167 01:06:37,331 --> 01:06:40,467 And when I came down to open my presents... 1168 01:06:40,602 --> 01:06:42,202 - Mm-hmm. - ...bike wasn't there. 1169 01:06:42,336 --> 01:06:45,472 My dad got me a pair of handlebars 1170 01:06:45,607 --> 01:06:48,075 and then he told me that one day, you know, 1171 01:06:48,208 --> 01:06:49,409 he'd get me the rest of the bike 1172 01:06:49,544 --> 01:06:51,646 that I could put the handlebars on. 1173 01:06:54,616 --> 01:06:56,718 And he promised me training wheels. 1174 01:06:58,485 --> 01:07:00,254 And he never got me the training wheels. 1175 01:07:00,387 --> 01:07:03,691 My poor dad, he worked so hard. 1176 01:07:03,825 --> 01:07:06,159 Never got anywhere. 1177 01:07:06,293 --> 01:07:08,362 And one of the last things that he told me 1178 01:07:08,495 --> 01:07:11,599 was that Christmas was for family. 1179 01:07:11,733 --> 01:07:14,401 And that's all I wanted to do, was have a nice Christmas 1180 01:07:14,536 --> 01:07:16,036 like the ones we used to have in Mexico. 1181 01:07:16,169 --> 01:07:17,972 - Ay. - With the family 1182 01:07:18,105 --> 01:07:22,342 and... training wheels. 1183 01:07:24,812 --> 01:07:28,115 How'd he know? How'd he-- how did he know? 1184 01:07:29,449 --> 01:07:31,118 Well, because I-- 1185 01:07:31,251 --> 01:07:34,722 one of these days that you went to work 1186 01:07:34,856 --> 01:07:37,224 I took them shopping... 1187 01:07:37,357 --> 01:07:40,060 Santa style. Yeah. 1188 01:07:43,665 --> 01:07:48,101 But how did he find the exact ones? 1189 01:07:49,303 --> 01:07:53,541 We went to Olvera Street. Mm-hmm. 1190 01:07:53,675 --> 01:07:55,043 And you should've seen him, eh? 1191 01:07:55,175 --> 01:07:57,277 Ooh, that kid? 1192 01:07:57,411 --> 01:08:02,584 He wouldn't stop until he found them. Yeah. 1193 01:08:02,717 --> 01:08:05,787 Just because he wanted to make you smile. 1194 01:08:05,920 --> 01:08:07,655 Baby... 1195 01:08:09,857 --> 01:08:13,795 You know what you gotta do, amor, right? 1196 01:08:13,928 --> 01:08:16,330 You got your training wheels. 1197 01:08:17,865 --> 01:08:21,168 Now go out there and be a father to her. 1198 01:08:30,011 --> 01:08:31,211 I wanted to tell you 1199 01:08:31,345 --> 01:08:33,982 that-- 1200 01:08:34,114 --> 01:08:35,717 that I was wrong. 1201 01:08:36,517 --> 01:08:38,185 In the business that I'm in, 1202 01:08:38,318 --> 01:08:40,153 you see a lot of beautiful flowers. 1203 01:08:40,287 --> 01:08:44,525 Like, s-some are very rare and delicate roses, 1204 01:08:44,659 --> 01:08:46,594 some of them I planted with my hands. 1205 01:08:48,096 --> 01:08:52,100 And it's my job to protect the roses from the weeds. 1206 01:08:52,232 --> 01:08:55,202 I thought that it was my job 1207 01:08:55,335 --> 01:08:58,338 to protect the rose from being hurt. 1208 01:08:58,472 --> 01:09:02,844 I thought that Leif was another weed 1209 01:09:02,977 --> 01:09:06,614 that was trying to keep my rose from blooming, 1210 01:09:06,748 --> 01:09:08,281 but I realize now that my rose 1211 01:09:08,415 --> 01:09:11,886 has bloomed into this incredible woman 1212 01:09:12,020 --> 01:09:15,990 and that Leif is now your protector and not me. 1213 01:09:16,124 --> 01:09:17,257 And that, you know, 1214 01:09:17,391 --> 01:09:20,962 also papi wants to say is that-- 1215 01:09:21,095 --> 01:09:23,497 uh-- that he-- 1216 01:09:23,631 --> 01:09:27,334 he was-- 1217 01:09:27,467 --> 01:09:30,738 He was the weed. He's been the weed. 1218 01:09:30,872 --> 01:09:35,610 And that you and Leif are roses. 1219 01:09:35,743 --> 01:09:38,278 - Yeah, roses. - Yeah. 1220 01:09:38,412 --> 01:09:40,048 And that we, as a family, 1221 01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:44,384 we have to protect-- somos un garden. 1222 01:09:44,519 --> 01:09:47,287 And we have to protect the roses. 1223 01:09:47,421 --> 01:09:49,322 And-and that you know, you make us so, 1224 01:09:49,456 --> 01:09:51,959 so proud every day, m'hijita. 1225 01:09:54,996 --> 01:09:58,166 because he's the coolest and the sweetest boyfriend 1226 01:09:58,298 --> 01:10:00,168 in all of East-- East L.A. 1227 01:10:00,300 --> 01:10:02,537 Leif, pero mm. Mm-hmm. 1228 01:10:02,670 --> 01:10:04,806 We got a plane to stop! 1229 01:10:04,939 --> 01:10:06,239 But, whoa, Clau, 1230 01:10:06,373 --> 01:10:07,975 you cannot get him back dressed like that. 1231 01:10:08,109 --> 01:10:09,911 - No, that's true. - Okay. Okay. 1232 01:10:10,044 --> 01:10:12,714 Let's go! 1233 01:10:12,847 --> 01:10:14,314 Come on! 1234 01:10:16,517 --> 01:10:17,451 Hurry up! 1235 01:10:22,623 --> 01:10:24,058 Oh, man, what the hell? 1236 01:10:30,631 --> 01:10:32,066 What about the vatos? 1237 01:10:38,305 --> 01:10:41,909 - Hey! Cooper! We need a ride! - I got you. 1238 01:10:42,043 --> 01:10:43,711 - Let's go! - To the airport. 1239 01:10:43,845 --> 01:10:46,881 Got you, fools, I got you, G. I got you. 1240 01:10:47,014 --> 01:10:49,150 Let's go, ladies. You guys will fit. 1241 01:10:49,282 --> 01:10:52,186 Hey, no tips. I'll accept a kiss. 1242 01:10:52,319 --> 01:10:53,588 Let's go. Come on! 1243 01:10:53,721 --> 01:10:55,723 - Amárrense! Here we go! - Hit it! 1244 01:10:57,491 --> 01:10:59,861 Woo! I want one of these bedroom. 1245 01:10:59,994 --> 01:11:02,096 Make 'em bounce. Make 'em bounce higher, homie. 1246 01:11:02,230 --> 01:11:03,898 Make 'em bounce. 1247 01:11:04,031 --> 01:11:05,867 This is really cool. 1248 01:11:08,569 --> 01:11:09,871 I popped my tire, fool. 1249 01:11:10,004 --> 01:11:12,540 - Ay, what? - My bad. Sorry. 1250 01:11:12,673 --> 01:11:14,108 - Now what? - Sorry, guys. 1251 01:11:14,242 --> 01:11:15,342 Sorry, man. 1252 01:11:15,475 --> 01:11:17,178 Yo! 1253 01:11:17,310 --> 01:11:18,546 Y'all need a ride? 1254 01:11:23,050 --> 01:11:25,052 Uh, take it back to the bottom of the ocean where it belongs. 1255 01:11:25,186 --> 01:11:27,555 We'll go steal a car. We'll meet you there, homie. 1256 01:11:29,090 --> 01:11:31,826 Your little homie learned that in prison. 1257 01:11:50,377 --> 01:11:52,412 Gate? 1258 01:11:58,252 --> 01:12:00,888 - Oh, okay. Okay. - Sorry! 1259 01:12:01,022 --> 01:12:04,091 Okay. Ay, mira, I think it's over there. 1260 01:12:10,565 --> 01:12:11,999 I have to stop my son-in-law from getting-- 1261 01:12:12,133 --> 01:12:13,901 Well, not yet, but getting on the plane. 1262 01:12:14,035 --> 01:12:15,970 I mean, he's my fiance. I mean, not really. 1263 01:12:16,103 --> 01:12:18,005 It's not like he proposed to me. I mean, he did propose, 1264 01:12:18,139 --> 01:12:20,007 - pero mi papá nunca told me. - You have your boarding passes? 1265 01:12:20,141 --> 01:12:22,510 You can just pat me down so I can go in. 1266 01:12:22,643 --> 01:12:23,878 I'll tell him all about it. 1267 01:12:24,078 --> 01:12:25,913 Ma'am, don't touch me. 1268 01:12:28,115 --> 01:12:30,383 My son-in-law, he cannot go on the plane. 1269 01:12:30,518 --> 01:12:32,119 - Mm-hmm. - So, can you help us with that? 1270 01:12:33,988 --> 01:12:35,990 - Did she say dangerous? - No, no, no, no. 1271 01:12:37,825 --> 01:12:39,827 You know, can you guys please step aside? 1272 01:12:39,961 --> 01:12:41,929 Can you please-- Please, guys, step aside, ma'am. 1273 01:12:48,102 --> 01:12:49,402 Oh, no, no, no. 1274 01:12:58,846 --> 01:13:01,616 - Ahí está. No! No! - Wait, wait! Where are you going? 1275 01:13:05,553 --> 01:13:07,054 Oh! 1276 01:13:07,188 --> 01:13:08,823 Whoa. 1277 01:13:08,956 --> 01:13:10,423 - Damnit. - Hey, man, I'm just trying to keep 1278 01:13:10,558 --> 01:13:11,926 my future son-in-law from leaving. 1279 01:13:12,059 --> 01:13:13,527 Can you please tell your dad to stop doing that? 1280 01:13:13,661 --> 01:13:15,296 It's the second time. 1281 01:13:15,428 --> 01:13:17,598 I was center cornerback. East LA had the Fighting Fails. Ow. 1282 01:13:17,732 --> 01:13:21,168 Does this mean I can have Claudia's hand in marriage? 1283 01:13:21,302 --> 01:13:24,038 Think I'm getting arrested for nothing? 1284 01:13:24,171 --> 01:13:26,707 Keep your hands where I can see 'em! 1285 01:13:26,841 --> 01:13:29,176 - Baby... - Aw. 1286 01:13:29,310 --> 01:13:31,846 Will you marry me? 1287 01:13:31,979 --> 01:13:35,149 Yes... yes, a million times, yes. 1288 01:13:37,018 --> 01:13:39,820 Ay, bueno, I'll put it on myself. It's okay. 1289 01:13:39,954 --> 01:13:41,923 Oh, fool. 1290 01:13:42,056 --> 01:13:43,557 I'm sorry. 1291 01:13:43,691 --> 01:13:45,126 You've got nothin' to be sorry about. 1292 01:13:45,259 --> 01:13:47,528 No, man, I should've been myself from the beginning. 1293 01:13:47,662 --> 01:13:49,297 You know, I was such a poser. 1294 01:13:49,429 --> 01:13:50,665 I was pretending to speak Spanish 1295 01:13:50,798 --> 01:13:53,601 and I ruined Christmas. 1296 01:13:53,734 --> 01:13:55,502 Are you kidding me, man? You saved Christmas. 1297 01:13:55,636 --> 01:13:57,538 My daughter loves you. 1298 01:13:57,672 --> 01:13:59,140 You made my Christmas the best ever. 1299 01:13:59,273 --> 01:14:01,242 Welcome to the family! Merry Christmas. 1300 01:14:03,611 --> 01:14:05,279 Ay, pero where are you taking him? Epa! Where are you taking him?! 1301 01:14:05,413 --> 01:14:07,181 Hey, you should see what we do for New Years. 1302 01:14:07,315 --> 01:14:08,816 Hey, where y'all going? 1303 01:14:08,950 --> 01:14:10,184 I'ma go this way. They got tamales, 1304 01:14:10,318 --> 01:14:11,919 so I'm gonna go eat. I'm out. 1305 01:14:12,053 --> 01:14:13,354 - I'm gonna go with Leaf. - I think his name is Leif. 1306 01:14:13,486 --> 01:14:14,622 - No, it's Leaf. - No, it's Leif. 1307 01:14:14,755 --> 01:14:16,290 It doesn't matter, fool. Let's go. 1308 01:14:40,047 --> 01:14:43,584 Leaf, right? Is it Leaf or Leif? 1309 01:14:43,718 --> 01:14:46,620 Leaf, he's a swell guy. 1310 01:14:52,126 --> 01:14:56,163 Yeah, yeah, a lot of people will say Leaf when it's-- 1311 01:14:56,297 --> 01:14:57,565 when it's Leif. 1312 01:14:57,698 --> 01:15:00,634 This family, it's a taken a lot of, 1313 01:15:00,768 --> 01:15:02,269 ahem, a lot of correcting. 1314 01:15:07,641 --> 01:15:09,510 That makes a lot of sense. 1315 01:15:09,643 --> 01:15:13,848 They're-- they're, um, like best friends. 1316 01:15:13,981 --> 01:15:17,184 Whoa. Okay. 1317 01:15:18,753 --> 01:15:20,688 Thank you for being such a good, um, friend. 1318 01:15:20,821 --> 01:15:24,325 I mean, his skin is so perfect and-- 1319 01:15:28,596 --> 01:15:31,065 That makes a lot of sense. 1320 01:15:31,198 --> 01:15:33,134 Does know Bennie that we're here? 1321 01:15:33,267 --> 01:15:36,604 I just realized, Bennie's house is pretty nice. 1322 01:15:39,206 --> 01:15:40,574 Ay... 1323 01:15:47,181 --> 01:15:50,985 The only thing that matters in this world for a couple 1324 01:15:51,118 --> 01:15:53,988 is performance, you know... 1325 01:15:54,121 --> 01:15:57,491 and that kid looks like he can perform. 1326 01:15:57,625 --> 01:16:01,462 He's about, what, 5'6", 5'7"? 1327 01:16:01,595 --> 01:16:05,399 I don't really see much there, pero hey, he must be a nice guy, right? 1328 01:16:23,017 --> 01:16:24,885 Babies... no, espérame. 1329 01:16:25,019 --> 01:16:27,788 Cut that out. Cut that out. 1330 01:16:31,492 --> 01:16:33,094 - ¿Y tú? - What? 1331 01:16:33,227 --> 01:16:35,229 - You wanna marry me? - That's Bennie's mom's, dog. 1332 01:16:35,362 --> 01:16:37,364 - Put that back. - You're never gonna get married, dog. 1333 01:16:37,498 --> 01:16:39,667 You know, maybe I should talk to Leif about, like, 1334 01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:42,269 creating a video game with the vatos, and maybe, you know, 1335 01:16:42,403 --> 01:16:45,072 we can incorporate the car and then-- and maybe they can make some money 1336 01:16:45,206 --> 01:16:48,075 and finally not be across the street living in their car, right? 1337 01:16:55,082 --> 01:16:58,686 I was thinking a video game based in East LA 1338 01:16:58,819 --> 01:17:00,754 would be ama-- would sell. And they-- 1339 01:17:00,888 --> 01:17:02,756 where they drive around 1340 01:17:02,890 --> 01:17:05,726 and maybe steal a car-- each other's cars, 1341 01:17:05,860 --> 01:17:09,130 Put in, like, good music. 1342 01:17:17,938 --> 01:17:22,577 Tootsie doesn't see color, 1343 01:17:22,710 --> 01:17:25,112 doesn't see race, 1344 01:17:25,246 --> 01:17:28,649 doesn't see if they have fur or no fur, 1345 01:17:28,782 --> 01:17:30,918 pero she is kind of blind. 1346 01:17:39,426 --> 01:17:41,295 I'ma show up to the wedding, and I'ma-- 1347 01:17:41,428 --> 01:17:43,164 - I'm gonna wedding crash it. - You can't do that, my boy. 1348 01:17:43,297 --> 01:17:45,266 You can't do that, my boy. It's against the rules, my boy. 1349 01:17:45,399 --> 01:17:47,168 - Yeah, you gotta respect love. - You gotta respect-- 1350 01:17:47,301 --> 01:17:49,003 - Respeto, homie. - All right, I'll respect. 1351 01:17:49,136 --> 01:17:52,574 You gotta get her before they get there. 1352 01:17:52,706 --> 01:17:55,075 Does that make any sense? To, like, the chapel. 1353 01:17:55,209 --> 01:17:57,444 Hey, hey, hey, hey... 1354 01:18:08,088 --> 01:18:08,756 Let's take a picture of-- 1355 01:18:08,989 --> 01:18:09,890 that's for you. 1356 01:18:10,024 --> 01:18:11,425 Photo, photo, photo. 1357 01:18:11,560 --> 01:18:13,327 - That's for us. - Photo! Photo! 1358 01:18:15,296 --> 01:18:16,864 I guess I was wrong. 1359 01:18:17,831 --> 01:18:22,369 This was not the story about how the gringo stole my dad's Christmas... 1360 01:18:22,503 --> 01:18:24,071 but how my gringuito 1361 01:18:24,205 --> 01:18:26,307 saved our Christmas. 1362 01:18:27,808 --> 01:18:28,943 Feliz Navidad a todos. 1363 01:18:29,076 --> 01:18:31,145 Merry Christmas, everyone!