(suspenseful music)
- [Announcer] Coming soon from Love Shack International!
(eerie music)
(suspenseful music)
(crowd chattering and laughing)
(popping)
- Oh.
- You might want to slow down a little bit there, soldier.
- Oh.
I haven't had anything to drink in quite a while, so
I better indulge myself just a little bit.
And I'm kind of sick of corn liquor, you know,
because, you know, well,
you see what's around us. - Corn, yeah.
- Yeah.
- I get that.
Well I'm just glad
that you came back with me after Cornfest.
I feel privileged.
You're the winner of the corn eating contest.
- Well, you know,
I have an affinity for corn, and,
(corn rustling)
Mmmm, and, you know
I figured that I'm the king of this area
and I figured I could eat my weight in corn.
And by god, I'm gonna do so.
- Sounds like it.
But I tell you what, the corn around here,
I hear they use growth hormones,
and all kinds of weird stuff.
Like I even heard people have seen lights around here,
and some people are even saying
there are some alien growth hormone rays or something?
- Alien growth what?
Alien growth hormone?
- I read it in your brother's newspaper.
- Oh.
I guess.
Yeah I guess he don't get,
he'll do anything to get news these days.
- No, I mean he's got,
have you seen his YouTube channel?
He's got video of Bigfoot.
- It's probably his wife, you know, dressed up
in some kind of - No, I heard.
- For the movies. - I heard Dilbert
came out here, and nobody's seen him.
- And she doesn't shave her legs,
it could have just been her
and they could have been doing something,
God knows what, I mean.
- [Woman] Whatever, you've had too much to drink.
- [Man] Oh, I'm just getting started.
- No, I think we need to get up and get some exercise.
- Oh.
- What do you say if we play
a little hide and seek out here,
see if there is a monster out there
and maybe you might find me in my birthday suit?
(corn rustling) - Well, I tell you what.
I'll give you a 10 swig head start.
(woman laughing) (playful music)
- 10 swigs and I don't think
you're gonna make it off this blanket.
But, let's see.
- Ooh.
- Come on!
Get your drunk ass up, buddy!
- All right, baby, ready or not,
here I come!
- Hey!
Come on, Corn King!
I got something you're gonna want.
- Actually, ooh!
Oh, my goodness, what do we got here?
Oooh, baby!
(corn rustling)
- Did you find that?
I got something else for you too.
Drunk ass motherfucker, find that.
- Oh!
Oh yeah baby,
I think there's a monster in here now.
Just wait till I get my pants down.
Ooh.
- Hello, Mr. Drunky.
Got another thing for ya!
What in the hell?!
Is that a corn cob?
Or are you just happy to see me?
Weird ass scarecrow.
Well here you go.
'Cause my man's probably drunk somewhere passed out.
You're not.
All right, come get me,
you got competition, boy!
- Oh, god.
Who the?
Who the hell is that?
Hey babe, what kind of kinky shit are you into?
I'm just gonna sit and relax for a minute. (groaning)
- Where the hell are you?
Oh my god.
(man snoring)
I'm gonna leave you one more thing down here.
Best be finding it for me.
(man snoring)
(sighing) Oh my god.
I think I'm gonna go take my chances
with the corn stalk dude back there.
At least the shark had a hard-on.
All right.
You got one more chance.
Come and get 'em!
(shark growling)
Where the hell is he?
(tense music) (shark growling)
Shark!
(shark growling)
(woman screaming)
(jaws munching)
(shark growling)
(corn rustling)
(eerie music)
(man laughing)
(shark roaring)
(woman screaming)
(shark roaring)
(woman screaming)
(shark growling)
(man growling)
(thunder clapping)
- Time to kill.
- Yeah, I'm fine.
I just don't want you to worry about me, okay?
And don't send anybody here to check on me.
I hate when it's totally dark.
Hey, sis, I've gotta go, okay?
Okay, yeah, I'll talk to you in a little bit.
Okay, bye.
Wow, look at you.
You're all dressed up an incognito.
I thought the coronavirus is over by now.
Or so I thought anyway.
Are you looking to party by chance?
Do you have a room here?
Okay, here's the deal.
It's 60 up front and 60 when we're done.
Is that okay?
Now aren't you the true gentleman?
With all those teeth.
With all those sharp teeth,
I bet you love to bite, don't you? (chuckling)
Oh, wow!
Oh my god, look at all of this cool stuff!
Dude, you must really be into sharks or something.
You know, you can bite me
at no extra charge.
Oh my god!
Like what is all of this stuff?
(lightly tense music)
- The Great White.
It's the greatest creature that ever lived.
- Hmm.
- They are goddesses.
Sharks are older than trees, you know, and dinosaurs.
450 million years old.
They don't age, they don't get cancer.
Strong, fearless.
Merciless.
The only species to have survived
four out of the five extinctions.
Nobody knows the power of the Great White.
But they're about to find out.
We are one with them.
- Okay, so what are you like,
a Marine Biologist or something?
Like George Costanza? (laughing)
- Yeah it's something like that.
- Oh, okay.
- He's an inspiration.
- Hmm. (laughing)
Ooh, what do you have here?
(man laughing)
That's a nice big set of teeth you have there.
- Mhmm.
Do you like those? - Are you gonna
bite me with this or something?
- Oh, you are so good at what you do.
Try this on.
- I'm gonna wear this like a crown?
(sinister music) (woman screaming)
(man snarling)
(shark growling)
(whacking)
- All hail Carcharodon carcharias!
The true goddesses of this world!
This is your bidding, Chichimatul.
This is my offering.
All true believers will persevere
in the war that is about to conclude!
My work is near complete.
(tense drumming music)
(corn rustling)
(man grunting)
(ominous music)
(sighing)
(somber music)
- So tell me again what happened here.
- The last thing I remember
is that we came back from the festival,
and that we decided to have some alone time,
and I kinda want to spend a little,
you know, a little time with Susan, you know?
Anyway, we decided to have a few drinks,
and things got a little heated
and we decided to play a little strip and go seek.
And she took off.
- So in other words, you made a pass at her,
she didn't like it, she got pissed off,
you got too aggressive,
and then she bought off?
- Wait, no, Constable.
It was absolutely nothing like that.
I mean, I had a few drinks and we were
running through here,
I was picking up her clothes as we went along,
and things were getting exciting.
And I just must have had too much to drink
and I passed out.
- And you didn't see anything or hear anything?
- I mean, no I didn't, honest to God.
You gotta believe me, I didn't.
- Well, what do you make of that mauling she got?
- From the looks of things, it looks,
I mean it could have been a wild animal.
I mean, it could have been a Bigfoot.
- Bigfoot, aliens?
You and your brother Jonathan would like that wouldn't you?
It'd be great press and publicity for his newspaper
and real estate ventures.
Get people to come out here
and buy some of these farms, look for old Sasquatch.
By the way, your brother, where is he?
- I don't know, it's not like I keep up with him.
- Don't get smart with me, Gary.
We got ourselves a murder investigation here.
Susan Blake was a beautiful,
well loved woman in these parts.
Church goer.
She was a librarian for God's sakes!
I'm inclined to believe that you and your brother
had something to do with this for your own reasons.
That's what I'm talking about, bubba.
- Seriously?
I mean, have you seen the bites and scratches?
- I've seen them.
You guys could have made anything up
to make that happen.
And it got all creature features
with some device or something like that.
Where'd you say your brother was?
- As far as I know, he was in Lexington
doing a real estate videoing and showing some houses.
Doing his damn job.
- Well, I wanna talk with him.
In the meantime, I'm gonna take your fat ass
down to the station,
I'm gonna process you
and then we're gonna investigate this further.
- Whatever, flathead.
- Officer Rosenberg, anything from our field team out there?
- Just a scarecrow with a shark head,
and Susan's tracks,
and lots and lots of condoms.
Should we close the cornfield?
- No, no, I don't think we should be closing the cornfields.
We got everything we need right here.
Besides, it's harvest season.
People gotta pay their bills.
- Right.
- Shark scarecrow?
Huh!
(insects chirping)
(suspenseful music)
(bashing)
(whooshing)
(electronic noise sounding)
(zapping)
(thunder clapping)
(crackling and zapping)
(alarm blaring)
(buzzer sounding)
(explosion booming)
(chill music) (birds chirping)
- Any problems?
- Not like we haven't faced third world shitholes before.
- All right.
Let me get your money.
Half now, half after I sell the item
like we agreed.
- Sounds like a deal to me, let's make it happen.
(darts whooshing)
Fucker!
- Sorry to be a Danny Downer, guys,
but this is just too important.
Life, it's rougher than a cob, ain't it?
Get a good nap in while I finish this work.
(light music)
- Where are you?
I know I saw you in here.
(corn rustling)
Come to mama.
My, my, my!
What big feet you have.
I guess I'll just have to follow your footprints.
(creature snarling)
(woman exclaiming)
(creature growling)
Wait, Sasquatch!
Come back!
(creature growling)
Come back!
(light guitar music)
- Hi, I'm Jonathan Gottlieb,
and I'm here to offer you a little slice
of Kentucky Magic right here at Druid Hills.
You can be a monster hunter!
You can look around for all the creatures
the locals say they see.
And if you're interested,
I'm ready to sell you a property today!
1-800-BIGFEET!
That's right 1-800-BIGFEET for John Gottlieb, that's me.
We're Druid Hills Realty all the way!
(light music)
(chuckling)
(sighing)
- Gottlieb, I swear.
You make sure you stay in Druid Hills
with that baloney sandwich stuff.
We got enough problems in this world
without adding Bigfoot to the mix. (sighing)
(tense music)
(light music)
Scheider to Grossman, do you copy?
- [Grossman] Copy, Chief, go ahead.
- You got anything going on out there?
- [Grossman] No ma'am, hot day.
Candice saw bandits.
Hey, I had Gardner drive by Lorna's place.
Still no sign of her.
- Okay, over and out.
- [Grossman] Out, babe.
- I don't think that's protocol, sir.
We wouldn't want another visit to the HR now, would we?
- [Grossman] Oh, ah, sorry about that, Chief.
- Over and out.
(tense music)
That looks weird.
(siren blaring)
Hey, Mr. Shark.
Got your license and registration on you?
(man growling)
(camera clicking)
Get out of the car!
Get out of the car now! (camera clicking)
(eerie music)
Put your hands up where I can see 'em.
Put your hands up!
Put your fucking hands up! (camera clicking)
What is this crap?! (camera clicking)
- Where's your dildo, cop?
- Get up against the car.
(man growling)
(man screaming)
I've got you now, you stupid fucking-
(camera clicking)
- You don't know what the fuck you're doing!
- I know what I'm doing!
Get down on the fucking ground!
(camera clicking)
- What are you, some fucking monkey, huh?
That's excessive force, pig!
- [Chief] It's gonna get even more excessive,
you piece of shit!
(man groaning)
- I'm gonna bite you in half.
- You're not gonna bite shit!
Roll over.
(man groaning)
(camera clicking)
(laughing)
- This is great.
It's all for Chichimatul.
- You have the
right to remain- (camera clicking)
- Why don't you sit on my face, you fucking pig?!
- Anything you say or do
can be used against you (camera clicking)
in a court of law.
- (laughing) Court of law?
You're not gonna make it to the court of law.
- [Chief] Neither are you, you shark boy,
if you keep this fucking shit up!
- Well, well.
Don't you look familiar.
(ominous music)
- Grossman, I need you to send some backup right now.
- [Grossman] 10-4.
(man laughing)
- Hurry.
(drone whirring)
(serene music)
(eerie music)
(serene music)
(tense music)
(phone ringing)
- Yes, Gary, how many times are you gonna call?
This is like the 500th.
I'm really busy right...
Jail?
What are you talking about?
What do you mean murder?
Okay, okay, just calm down.
Look, I'll be there as fast as I can.
Just hang tight, brother.
(tense music) (steps rustling)
(birds chirping)
- Benchley, I see you made it.
I wish I could say I'm glad to see you.
- Always a pleasure, Jeffrey.
I see you have your goon squad with you.
- You know you can't be too careful
when you're chasing diamonds in the sky.
- You can never be too careful.
- Certainly.
- So, do you have the item?
- Of course I do.
Not exactly with me, but it's close by.
- So there's a trust issue?
- Sounds like there's a trust issue.
- Let's just say I want to get the money first.
And then I'll give you the map
that tells you where the item is.
- So where is it?
- Close by.
Do you have the money?
Nice.
All you guys have such great personalities.
Each one unique and different too.
- Oh, it's so nice of you to notice.
So there is a trust issue.
- I'm not quite sure if you all are the good guys.
- Murray, Murray, Murray.
Where have you been?
We're two decades into the 21st century, man.
There are no good guys anymore, just greycoats.
Blending of the dark and the light.
Little bit of this and a little bit of that.
- Little bit of this,
and a little bit of that.
- Will you just shut up?
- [Thug] Sorry boss.
- And by the way,
you'll notice, Murray,
you don't see any of us wearing any shark tooth
necklaces or bracelets.
- Gray suits with white bellies.
Just like sharks.
Ready to maul the world.
- Well, well, Murray it really depends
on things like agenda and perspective
if you know what I mean.
- I don't like this guy.
I don't trust him.
- So, do you want the money now or not?
- I guess I do.
And to get as far away from here as possible.
- Well, you can try.
And the money'll surely give you that option.
- [Tall Thug] Watch my back.
- Go get that Chichimatul pup.
- We're on this shit.
- They're on it.
- I'm not saying I don't trust you.
I just don't trust you.
- It ain't light, you can trust me.
- You can trust him.
- So it says that it's in one of these, so let's look.
- Yeah, it's gotta be right over here somewhere.
I think it might be,
did we pass the row?
Wait, what's that?
- Wait, hold on, hold this.
I'll look.
I think I found it!
(thunder clapping rumbling)
(laughing)
- Oh yes!
We got it.
(electricity zapping)
Shark!
(corn rustling)
Come on!
(kid screaming)
(screaming)
(thugs screaming)
- Go, kill it, what are you doing!?
(screaming)
(thugs screaming)
(shark growling)
(corn rustling)
- Double cross!
- You and your partners!
- Impossible, I silenced them all!
- Angelo.
Go get the Chichimatul pup.
Go get the pup!
- Go get the pup!
- Get the pup!
- I'm sorry, boss!
(gun firing)
- Benchley!
Get back here, you scoundrel!
(steps rustling)
(shark growling)
(buzzing)
(thunder rumbling)
(shark growling)
(tense music)
(buzzing and zapping)
- Benchley's got the,
he's got the shark pup,
he's got the money, he's got both!
- Benchley!
Benchley, you're finished!
- You're finished!
I'm so tired.
I don't even wanna eat!
The shark's got Joey and Zoey.
You and me go after Benchley.
- No, that won't be necessary.
I planned ahead, I planted a GPS tracking device
in that money bag.
We're gonna be on them like wrath.
- Then off to the eggbeater!
- Let's go.
(camera clicking)
- Now Teddy, we're gonna start at the beginning again.
Is that okay?
- Yeah.
Sure, you got another milkshake on you?
- When we begin.
(Teddy belching)
This time I'm gonna record you.
Just so you know.
- Yeah, that's fine.
The end is almost upon us anyway, sweety.
Kind of a outdated recorder machine you got there, huh?
- It's mine from home, if you must know.
And defunding, and the budget cuts
from our police departments,
it's happening everywhere, you know?
- I believe it.
Great White Lives Matter, you know.
- Okay Teddy, that was funny.
Right.
Testing, testing, one, two, three.
Okay, so.
Okay, I'm with Teddy Bo Lucas
in interrogation room B in Chance Kentucky.
The date is September 13th.
And he's speaking to me of his own free will,
waiving the right to a lawyer, right, Teddy?
- Correcto mundo.
Another milkshake please?
Maybe some fries?
- Well, you're in luck.
- All right, all right.
- As I was saying,
Teddy also has the right to remain silent.
(Teddy belching)
Anything he says or does
can be used against him in a court of law.
He has waived his right to an attorney
and has been told that one would be provided for him
if he so desires.
Right, Teddy?
- Surely, yes ma'am.
- All right, Teddy, let's get into things.
So I pulled you over for a traffic infraction
and I found dismembered body parts in your vehicle.
Are you denying that?
- No denial.
It's just my work.
I've been on the road for years
all over the Midwest States.
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa,
Ohio, here in Kentucky,
just killing folks.
Killed so many I barely remember their faces.
- So are you trying to tell me that
you're a mass murderer?
- Well, if that's what you wanna call it, yes.
This is my calling in life.
(tense music)
- Do you think that you're the infamous killer
that the media has dubbed "The Great White Ripper"?
Is that what you're telling me?
I mean the one whose favorite way
is to use shark teeth to rip people's faces off and stuff?
Is that what you're telling me?
- These fries are rubbery.
They are too cold and chewy for my taste.
But yes, that's exactly how I kill someone.
I am the shark, the predator.
I am one with the Great White Goddess Chichimatul.
- I see.
So how long have you been out there
killing innocent people, Teddy?
- Oh, not innocents, no one is innocent.
For they all fall short of reaching their true potential.
They're not evolved in any way, shape or form.
The new Chichimatul order is coming.
I kill for sacrifices.
They are martyrs.
Their blood will initiate a new establishment of society.
- And so this Chichimatul, as you call it,
is this your god?
- Goddess.
Great white shark goddess.
There is no higher aspiration than to be one with her.
To usher in her bidding of a new species
of shark humanoids.
A loftier, perfect new race
that will rule the world.
Great Whites are focused, higher end predators.
They never lose.
A 25 foot torpedo shooting through the sea like bullets!
Afraid of nothing, propelling themselves
completely out of the water when necessary.
Air demons, no bounds, no mercy.
And their mouths are lined with up to 300
serrated, triangular teeth.
And they have an exceptional sense of smell
to detect prey.
As we will become sharkanoids from the deep.
They even have organs to sense the tiny
electromagnetic fields generated by prey,
and the higher alien calling of transformation
pulsating from Stonehenge.
Everything is falling into place as we speak.
We give the world nightmares as it sleeps.
- (sighing) Teddy, you're really starting
to give me a headache with all this gibberish
that you're just spewing out here.
How many people have you killed out there on the road?
- Oh, I have no clue.
Endless, hundreds, it's simply part
of my process, these sacrifices.
The Stonehenge signals tell me what to do,
which is why I allowed myself to be caught.
Things are wrapping up.
- Stonehenge signals?
(chuckling) Like voices in your head, maybe?
- Pulsing sensations that mystically guide me.
And I'm not the only one, you know.
There are hundreds more like me out on the road.
All members of the shark cult on their way to becoming.
We're not even afraid of the devil, ma'am.
He fears us.
For we have teeth and we bite.
- So (chuckling) do you happen to believe in Bigfoot too?
- Huh?
- Never mind.
(sighing) Nothing.
Teddy, when we first met,
you said I looked familiar.
Do you know this girl?
She's missing.
And we found some of her blood in the motel room.
- My, my, she looks a lot like you.
I couldn't be sure, but yeah,
I probably offed her.
So many, it's all just a blur of gray.
Like a dead end job, you know?
My reward is in the becoming.
- [Chief] All right, Teddy.
Where are all the bodies buried
of those that you killed?
- I'm not sure.
It's not like there's an address or anything.
For me, it's just this one cornfield.
I could take you there though, show you.
Once I feel the winding roads,
I know how to get there.
I could ride there blindfolded.
- All right.
Well how about you and me take a little ride
and you take me there?
(Benchley sighing)
- Come on.
Ugh!
No! (sighing)
Piece of shit hole.
Fuck you.
Nature walk.
- See if it's here.
Maybe it's over there.
- Come on, I came as soon as I found out.
- I bet you did.
I bet you were the one phone call
of your brother Gary.
- I can't believe you're still holding him.
- Who else am I gonna hold?
He's suspect number one, and then there's you.
- Me?
Are you out of your mind?
I was in Lexington.
You can check.
And besides, you know Gary couldn't do anything like that.
It's crazy!
- Well let's see here, what we got here,
Mr. Bob Woodward himself,
prize winning editor, Pulitzer prize Corn Magazine.
But I digress.
Not exactly Rolling Stone.
We got one dead luke blood local holly here, Susan Blake.
And we got your brother Gary running around
in the corn fields.
Lots of boozing going on and schmoozing.
Let me ask you a question,
who do you think did it, freaking Bigfoot?
Maybe it was the Bigfoot in your TV commercial,
the one where brother Gary is running around
playing the Sasquatch.
- Come on man, quit drinking the Kool Aid.
That doesn't make any sense.
It's bad PR.
- Bad PR, good PR, Bigfoot, you don't care.
Gossip, anything is good
for your own real estate ventures and publicity.
Well, you know what Gottlieb,
nobody likes you in this town
let alone Mayor Zanuck or me.
We don't like the fact that you came from money, right,
and we had to bust our asses
and make a living through farming and corn.
You run around with your newspaper,
all your real estate listings and run this town
airing everybody's dirty laundry
and publicizing it in your newspaper.
Hell, you put the stuff in there
about me and my mistress.
I didn't appreciate that.
That caused me a lot of pain.
I almost lost this job.
So don't expect any sympathy from me, Mr. Money Bags.
- Look.
I have something that you need to see.
I was videoing some properties with my drone
for my real estate videos.
And I recorded this.
For the second time.
First time I thought I was,
I don't know, hallucinating or seeing things, but this.
- You expect me to believe there's sharks
in the cornfields?
- You can see it with your own eyes!
Kramer, we have got to tell Mayor Zanuck
to close down all the corn fields in Druid Hills!
And then we gotta try and figure out what's going on.
I've done a little research
and turns out there's a shark cult that,
- I had enough of this malarkey.
I want you out of this office right now!
That looks like there's some clouds in the sky going by
or some crazy false computer imagery.
You'd do anything to get publicity for your newspaper.
- Listen to yourself, Kramer, it makes no sense.
I came as soon as my brother called
I wouldn't have time to do anything like that.
- Well, furthermore, this is the best corn harvest
we've had in years.
Weather's been perfect,
everything's been going well.
And if you expect to come out with one peep
about something as stupid as farmers
and the cornfields, and sharks out there,
I'm gonna have you out of here
for fake news propaganda.
Why don't you put something in your newspaper
about you and your brother Gary
being indicted for murder?
- Fine, just fine.
Kramer, as ludicrous as it sounds,
those are sharks.
And I know what a shark looks like
'cause I keep seeing them in the cornfields!
Now I've researched what I think this is,
and I'm pretty good at my job.
So you had better do something about this
or you won't have to worry about getting sued
or being ruined
if this turns out to be what I think it is,
because there won't be anybody left!
- I don't see anything in there.
I think he's crazy.
(serene music)
(tense music)
- So Chief, you about ready?
- I guess as ready as I'll ever be.
- Well, I could go with you.
You know, I'm not opposed to that.
- Oh, I appreciate that, Sam.
But I really need somebody here
with a good head on their shoulders
to keep a watch out on the office
and make sure everything runs smoothly.
And in case I don't make it back.
- Thanks, but don't talk like that.
You're gonna be fine.
- This is not really on the up and up.
I mean I really should have given
all the information that I have
to the State Police, the FBI.
But also, on a good note,
this may put me on a map
for bigger and better things.
And most importantly,
to find out if Teddy killed Lorna.
- Oh I know, it's personal.
And since you're gonna do it this way,
I brought you this.
- What's this?
- This is something we got from a peaceful protest
a couple of weeks ago.
I think there's plenty of weapons in there
that you might find useful.
If you do have to use it
I know you'll put each thing to good use.
(ominous music)
You'll feel much safer with that.
Cest la vie.
- Thank you, Sam.
I appreciate that.
- Yippee.
- Gonna beat it. (door knocking)
- [Woman] Your prisoner's ready, Chief.
Get on in there!
- All right, he's all yours.
- All right.
- All right, Chief, I'll be on the dispatch
for the next 44 hours, so.
- All right.
(light music)
(phone beeping)
- Are you wired into the GPS that Benchley's carrying?
- Yes I am.
Got the little varmint.
- Got the varmint!
- Let's go.
- Let's go!
- To the helicopter.
(rotor whirring)
(wind whooshing)
(chill music)
- Good throw, you're learning.
- Ray Aubergash, you're gonna get Billy sunburned
if you keep him out here much longer!
- Oh no!
- Oh, that was a good one.
Lighten up, Barbara.
Trying to have a little father son time here.
It's not like we can do this every day.
- I know, I know.
You just have to watch it.
I mean, there's no ozone left,
all the ultraviolet rays.
You have to watch it when they're young,
you know that already, okay?
- What is wrong with her?
- Did you put sunscreen on him?
- Oh, mom.
- All right, you got 10 more minutes
and then we gotta go
'cause Grandma's making cowboy cornbread casserole.
- Not that garbage disposal junk again!
Last time we threw it straight in the garbage,
what'd you think we're gonna do with it this time, eat it?
(corn rustling)
- [Billy] Oh, I'm kind of scared
of all the snakes back there.
- Oh, ain't no snakes in the corn.
Here you go.
Ah!
- [Billy] Gosh.
That's it.
- [Ray] Well, you'll be all right.
You go and get it.
(shark growling)
Sorry.
Sorry I threw it back in there so...
Shark! (screaming)
- No!
(sobbing)
(ominous music)
(zapping and buzzing)
(light suspenseful music)
- You better hope you're being straight with me, Teddy bear.
'Cause if you're not,
you and me are gonna have some problems.
- Straight as a roundabout, ma'am.
- Now what does that mean?
- It means everything is about to come full circle.
The fullest blood moon prophecy will rise
on the appropriate night.
Maybe this one.
And the cosmic revelations
and forces of Stonehenge (thunder rumbling)
will be fully empowered.
That's why I had to keep my shark tooth on.
I don't wanna miss being transformed.
- So wait, you're saying Stonehenge
gives off some sort of signal
to your shark goddess Chichimatul?
A real Great White Shark you and your cult worship?
- Yes.
The signal will be received
by her electromagnetic sensitivity.
Not only used for prey
but for intuitive commands like this,
when the becoming is to begin.
We have members that have been keeping track of her,
following her in the Atlantic for decades now.
All for the becoming.
- [Chief] That's an incredible belief, Teddy bear.
I mean, it is a little farfetched though.
- Mock it if you will, cop.
I already have electroreception.
I can smell your fear, like sweat
and, (music intensifying)
(music stops) something else.
(eerie music)
- Won't be long now, boss.
We'll be coming up on him fast.
- Technology makes me hard.
- Hard.
(Boss laughing)
(both laughing)
(gloomy music)
- Geez, not much left of old Billy in there
but lots of blood on the corn stalks.
- Jesus Christ, what in the name of Randy Travis
is going on around here, Kramer?
- Well, Mr. Mayor, they say-
- They, they, (blubbering),
spit it out already!
- They said it was a shark attack.
They said that Billy went in to get his frisbee
and shoom, shark ate him right up.
- A shark attack?
Who said that, some damn crackhead?
Somebody snorting airplane glue?
Mushroom eaters?
Shit!
- I've known the Aubergashes for years.
They're straight and narrow, churchgoers,
white bread eaters.
Honey the extra fiber with every meal.
We had a similar incident, Mr. Mayor,
about a week or so ago
in those yonder fields maybe a mile away.
Gary Gottlieb and Susan Blake,
same kind of thing happened to them.
- Which means Gary should be freed, gentlemen.
You had him locked up when this happened.
So can we spring my brother now?
- Oh Jesus, I need this
like a damn Billy Goat pecker going on top of my head.
What the hell are you doing here, Gottlieb?
- Well Mr. Mayor, I'm the news, the people around here,
and so I'm here in my official capacity
with the Corn Gazette.
As well as having a personal stake in this matter!
- So Mr. News Man, what's your big take on all this?
Who's behind these gruesome murders?
Bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, the boogeyman?
- Well, all right, generally the Bigfoot thing
is just more of an advertising conjecture
to help me sell farms, you know.
- As in one big fat country fib.
- So in fancy schmancy talk,
it's just a bunch of bulldog gravy
with no damn bacon on it.
- Well, look, did I say I saw Bigfoot, no.
But people around here say they saw Bigfoot.
Are they making it up, I don't know.
But I didn't make that up.
You know, I always worry I would run into Bigfoot out here
and then I'd have a lot of explaining to do.
Now, I've been looking into it
since I started seeing sharks in the cornfield
with my drones I film my real estate videos with.
Take a look at this, Mr. Mayor.
- I don't believe this shit.
- As you can see, there are sharks in the cornfields.
Now, I've done some deep dive research on this.
And these fields, all these fields
are on an ancient burial ground.
And there's this shark cult
that worships a humanoid shark goddess.
And they believe she's about to return.
And when she does, they'll be transformed into hybrids,
changed into shark people.
- I feel like you'd have to go with Bigfoot, Gottlieb!
This shit's ridiculous!
All I see is a bunch of clouds,
weird figures up in the clouds.
Hell, people see weird stuff like that in the clouds
all the time!
My grandma saw the devil jumping rope
one time in the clouds!
- You all have your heads in the clouds!
Even with the video evidence right in front of you
you won't believe.
Listen.
I know it sounds completely insane.
But lives have been lost,
including a little boy's, directly in front of you.
Now this situation is only going to get worse and worse
as the energy source in that cornfield
gets stronger and stronger.
Soon, those corn sharks will be able to get out of the field
and there's no telling what they'll be able to do
when they get loose.
Now I think that there are fields all over the place.
Maybe all over the world.
- Jonathan, why don't you go back to your office
with that corn cob pipe, put some hash in it
and toke on a little bit harder?
- Something crazy is going on here
and you better do something about it
before it swims up
and bites you in the cornhole!
Now can we please close down these corn fields
and try and get a handle on this?!
- Can't you see, you idiot?
It's harvest season, and a damn good one!
People out here, that's how they make a living,
it's off selling the corn!
I'm not going to shut the cornfield down,
that's just ludicrous!
Now, if you think there's some kind of Bigfoot
or monster out here injuring people,
like they did to those poor people,
the little redneck boy, and all these farmers,
you and your boys should go catch them,
take them down, get them outta here.
Jeez!
- Look, this is way bigger than any of us can fathom,
do you hear?
- [Woman On Radio] Base to Rosenberg.
- Go with base.
- [Woman On Radio] Just got a report from Eleanor
at the Williams farm.
She said that the boys and some friends
that have stumbled into the cornfield
and there were some tracks or something.
They're all shook up and they ain't making much sense.
They say there's a lot of blood and body parts
and well, they're afraid to go into the field, because-
- Because why?
- [Woman On Radio] Well this sounds crazy,
but because of sharks in the cornfield.
They say they can see the fins
and they appear to be about eight to 10 foot Great Whites.
- Never go swimming with bowlegged women.
You boys and girls get your asses over there
and see what the hell's going on.
And if it's what they say it is,
you nail them damn fish!
Or...
We close the damn corn fields.
- But Mr. Mayor!
- You listen to me, you dumb dick,
for the first time in your life!
This is election year.
We got to at least make some kind of a half ass effort
to act like we care.
You got me?
Now, you go do what you need to do
and get the hell outta here.
No, no, no, where you think you're going, Lois Lane?
Ace reporter, we're gonna have a chat, you and I.
- It's not like going down to the pond
chasing bass and crappies, is it, Mr. Mayor.
- Well, that's why me and you,
we're gonna walk the perimeter.
I wanna ring the damn dinner bell myself,
see if anything popped up to get a little snack.
- I think I have some things in my car
that might help us.
- Well, let's go do it, man.
- Hey.
You need a ride?
- No, no thanks.
I'm good.
- Are you sure?
I mean, it's starting to rain outside.
You look a little bit frazzled.
We're gonna head up to Druid Hills.
I don't mind giving you a ride,
or do you want me to call somebody for you or something?
- All right.
You talked me into it.
I'll go up to your.
I know you're a cop and all
but didn't your mom teach you not to pick up strangers?
- You know, to be a good cop,
you've gotta have good instincts, right?
- All right. - Yeah.
Yeah, no worries.
This back here, in the back seat,
this is Teddy Bo Lucas.
Self-proclaimed serial killer or something.
So he says he's gonna take me up to Druid Hills.
There is supposedly a burial mound
where he's killed all these people.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I'm intrigued.
- You should be.
So what's your name?
- Murray.
Murray Benchley.
- Well nice to meet you, Murray.
I'm Chief Scheider.
Vera, from Chance, Kentucky.
So where are you headed?
- [Murray] Coincidentally, Druid Hills.
- All roads lead to Druid Hills, people.
- Hah, well that worked out good for you, didn't it?
- [Murray] Yes, yes it did.
- What you got in that briefcase?
- Paperwork, blueprints.
- Uh huh.
Mr. Benchley.
I can feel what you have in there.
You believe in predestination?
- Not really.
(Teddy laughing)
- You should, my friend, you should.
Everything is falling into place.
Everything.
- You two know each other?
- No.
No.
- We're closing in on Benchley.
He's moving fast now.
It's almost like he's in a car.
- No worries.
We're gonna sneak up on him kinda unexpectedly
and then we're gonna bite him in the balls.
- Balls! (laughing)
- All right, Angelo won't be long now,
you got your gun locked and loaded?
- Sir, I left my piece back at base.
- What do I pay you for?
Have a handicap, they say,
he'll be fun to watch.
Oh man, do I gotta do everything myself?
You know, you can pick some of that toe cheese out
and we have some nasty ammunition
to throw at the bad guys.
- Bad guys.
(rotor whirring)
- Yeah there he is.
We're gonna nail that guy and destroy that shark pup.
- Destroy that pup!
(tense music)
- [Rosenberg] I see somebody in there
but I don't think they're coming.
- Yeah, they're moving around there.
I think they're terrified.
See, they just ran into the other room.
- [Rosenberg] Aw hell, we're on our own, I guess.
- Yeah, anyway let's go check out that cornfield.
- All right.
- Looks harmless, why don't you go in there
and take a look around?
- Ha, no sir, not without you.
- Get on in there and let's see
if we could find those bodies.
The mayor wants to know about this
and we gotta get back to him right away.
Yeah, we're gonna go in there and take a look around.
If we see anything, we'll just shoot 'em with our gun.
- I don't think that's gonna work.
- Get in there a little bit closer.
Go on, come on now, come on.
- You go. - Come on, come on.
Ladies first. - No way.
- Get on in there deep, Rosenberg,
let's take a look around.
- What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
- Well, if there's bodies in there,
we gotta find them.
We gotta clean this place up
and see what's going on here.
- Man, what the hell is the rush, man?
- Well, you did this all in training.
We took that course for 12 hours,
I taught you all this stuff, you should know better.
- Shh!
I thought I heard something.
Oh shit, I thought I saw...
A fin, or a reflection or something!
- Saw what?
- Oh, shit, I don't think we're in here alone.
- Come on, now.
(music intensifying)
(corn rustling)
(shark roaring)
- Oh, my shit!
Oh, shit!
(chill music)
- Everything is coming together exactly as planned.
I can feel it in my bones.
What about you, Chief?
You feeling that excitement buzz? (buzzing)
- [Chief] Teddy, this is just all so weird!
- [Grossman] Base to Chief.
- Go ahead, Grossman.
- (crunching) How are you making out, Chief?
- We're doing okay, we're almost there.
- (crunching) You be careful out there, Chief.
We're getting some odd and disturbing reports
from Druid Hills.
- Wait, what kind of reports?
- Well to be quite honest,
we're getting some attack reports on people.
People are being attacked in Druid Hills,
in cornfields, by sharks.
- [Chief] Shark attacks?
Okay.
Thanks for the heads up.
- Over and out, Chief.
(crunching)
Sharks in the popcorn!
Doggone it!
(shark clacking)
Sharks everywhere.
Wow.
Chief?
Ah, more coffee.
(chill music)
- So what do you think?
You still going to head to Druid Hills with me?
- Well, Chief, I got a confession.
Actually,
I'm with the CIA.
I'm an agent.
Been investigating this shark cult for many months now.
Initially it was just investigative and speculative
but now with Teddy and all these murders,
(sighing) we're taking it more serious.
First we thought the mafia was involved
but it turns out that
we think they just knew something really bad was comin'.
So as of now I'm not sure what the hell is going on.
But it's officially been upgraded from
some crackpot niche group
to an actual terrorism threat
against the United States.
- You got that right, sucker.
It's going down right now.
You're going down too.
- I knew there was something about you.
Just an intuition.
- Good call.
Smart cookie.
- So what do you think?
Do you want to go in to the eye of the storm?
- [Benchley] Fuckin' A.
- Well let's go.
(eerie music)
(tense music)
- Jesus Christ, Captain Quint,
where the hell did you get that thing?
- Local pawn shop.
Just got lucky, I guess.
You never know what you'll run into
at the old hawk shops.
- You better watch them pawn shops, boy.
I know somebody who bought a pair of panties there one time,
ended up with gonorrhea and the damn herpes.
- What?
- Yeah.
Don't know about them rubbers there either.
I just read about the Chinese.
They're taking used rubbers,
cleaning them out and reselling them.
- Damn, that's some nasty shit.
- Yeah.
- I was hoping my order would get here anytime
before we actually went into these stalks.
- Order, what the hell are you talking about?
What'd you order, a pizza?
- Well.
- [Delivery Guy] Hey Jonathan.
- Hey. - Here's that package
that you ordered and
you're a little bit out on the farm than usual.
- Ah yeah, out fishing actually.
Thank you, you guys rule.
- [Delivery Guy] Well, glad to be of service.
- What the hell was that?
- Ah, that's Amazing.com.
They deliver, I belong to the Pronto program
so I get packages in four hours,
and free streaming movies right to my phone.
- What are you, the damn spokesperson for them or something?
(shark roaring)
(man screaming)
What the hell?
That old boy must have hemorrhoids or something.
- This guy has his last delivery today.
- [Mayor] And what is all these, flea collars?
- They're shark-repellant bracelets,
like Off, but for sharks.
They're designed to work underwater
where the sound travels faster and further,
but they should have some nominal effect
in the open air.
In close proximity at least, I hope.
- I'll be dipped in shit.
You can get anything from Amazing.com.
Still, I ain't gonna wear one of those things, you putz.
It don't matter, there ain't no sharks out here.
Probably a wildcat, maybe a bear.
Hell, maybe your old friend Bigfoot
really is the one out here doing all this.
- Well, this might repel those predators too,
I don't know.
- Well as long as you keep me safe, Mr. Shark Hunter Boy.
- Ah, you know, if you come here
it's gonna be at your own risk.
- You sure you don't want some flippers
and a snorkel too, you dumbass?
- Well, at least you won't need a bigger mouth
if you start screaming in there.
You got that much going for ya.
- Let's go.
(lightly suspenseful music)
- Is he comin'?
- Yeah.
- [Benchley] Come on, Ted.
- Come on now.
You fucking freak.
So is this where you buried my sister?
This is the burial mound you're talking about?
- Yes, ma'am, I believe it is.
It's all coming back now.
All the victims' blood will align
with the power of Stonehenge (thunder rumbling)
and the crimson moon!
Chichimatul will become one
with the shark goddess.
All those martyrs in the field
will be reborn in the great becoming,
in her honor!
- So this is where everything lines up with Stonehenge?
All right, we need to go in
and destroy the sharks and the source.
Do you have any more weapons?
- Actually, I do.
I've got a backpack back here
that Grossman gave me.
Hold on to this
fucking freak. - Got him.
- And I think it has a bunch of weapons in it.
Even a grenade.
- A grenade?
Ah probably from some peaceful protesters.
Okay, I'm gonna need to borrow your phone.
Time to call in the big guns.
Things are about to get real.
(bashing)
- Now, now, Chief.
Knocking out a CIA agent, a fellow comrade?
I think you just overstepped your jurisdiction. (laughing)
(ominous music)
- You know?
All my life, I've been nothing to anybody.
I've always been nothing but a fucking failure!
I've never been good for anybody.
I've always been spit on by family and friends.
And I'm sick and tired of it.
I'm so tired of just doing things for everybody else
and nobody giving a fuck about me!
So no, I'm gonna do this,
and I'm gonna do this for Lorna.
She needs to be reborn
and I'm not a failure anymore.
So I wanna make sure that I merge
with the Great White Shark Cult.
I now know
that wrong is right.
And I wanna be with the becoming of Chichimatul.
I didn't believe you at first, Teddy.
I really was on the fence about it.
But now I know.
You were telling the truth the whole time.
And I'll do anything possible to make sure
that Lorna is reborn again.
- I knew it.
This is perfect!
You were the one all along, Chief.
I am honored and humbled.
As it has been written.
- Let me get you out of these.
(Teddy laughing)
- We need my shark jaws and what's in Benchley's briefcase
to complete the perfect circle.
This is the 13th pup.
The 13th pup from Chichimatul!
- You mean the Great White Shark's babies?
- Exactly.
The people watching over her had been collecting
her stillborns for decades.
I buried them here in the field
with the other martyrs.
Like your sister.
This is the last one we need to lay to rest
for the becoming.
It's finally time!
- Well let's do this, my friend.
(tense music)
- So far so good.
You doing okay, Mr. Mayor?
- Oh, I'm just sitting in butter back here myself.
(corn rustling)
Hey wait, do you hear that?
I thought I heard a car.
You think it may be Rosenberg and Kramer?
- Maybe, but, they haven't contacted us yet though.
I don't know.
(corn rustling)
- Damn, what, what?
You hear something, see something?
- If I saw something, it was gray,
something gray, it was like a flash.
- Well maybe your old buddy Bigfoot,
he's wearing a gray sports jacket.
He's going to the Daytime Emmy Awards or something.
- At least they haven't attacked us yet.
(Mayor screaming)
(shark roaring)
(corn rustling)
(ominous music)
(music intensifying)
(bracelet beeping)
(corn rustling)
(lightly tense music)
- Lorna?
- I'm sorry.
But you are blessed.
She's a martyr for Chichimatul now.
- So she'll live again when I become the shark goddess?
- Yes.
But like you said, you have to want to do it for you.
- Oh, I do.
I just want her to have a chance
to come back in the most purest of forms.
- Yes. (hissing)
(tense music)
Yes. (hissing)
Feel the power.
Feel the power of the blood sacrifices I've made for you
with those shark jaws.
Begin you calling.
It's almost time.
Dress as the shark scarecrow,
and when the blood moon rises tonight,
the Stonehenge energy will give us the cosmic revelations
we yearn for.
The becoming will begin.
(eerie hissing)
(ominous tone chiming)
(rotor whirring in distance)
- Benchley is right there!
Somewhere down in the cornfield!
(music intensifying)
(corn rustling)
- [Both] Shark!
(explosion booming)
- Shark?
(solemn music)
- Did you see that?
That helicopter!
The shark kicked it right out of the sky!
Gave me a chance to get out of there.
- Who are you?
- Oh, I'm one of the good guys, I think.
Jonathan Gottlieb.
I'm publisher of the Druid Hills Corn Gazette.
Me and Mayor Zanuck,
we went in there to investigate the corn sharks and,
they got him.
- Corn sharks?
Okay look, I'm Murray Benchley,
I'm with the CIA.
I was investigating this with Chief Vera Scheider,
but she hit me on the back of the head
and ran in there with one of the cult murderers.
- Traitor!
Well she's part of the problem now.
- So you're up to speed on everything?
- Yes sir, I think so.
If these lunatic shark cultists have their way
it'll be the end of the world as we know it.
- No doubt.
- So what do we do now?
- All right, look.
It's gonna be dark soon.
So I say we wait until cover of darkness.
(intense drumming music)
Then go in when they least expect it
and take 'em out.
- All right, I'm with you.
I've got shark repellant bracelets from Amazing.com,
harpoon gun from the pawnshop.
- Well I got a bag full of girly toys
that should make a lot of noise.
- All right.
Well let's not let this pie go stale.
- No doubt.
(eerie music)
(low noise droning)
(corn rustling)
(suspenseful music)
♪ Show me the way to go home ♪
Ahh.
Yeah we probably should see
what is going on here.
- Tonight we come full circle.
Everything is aligned for Chichimatul and the becoming.
The 666 martyrs have been served
and lie in this cornfield!
(corn rustling)
The blood of the shark teeth has been ingested!
And we now live in the prophetic revelations
as the blood moon rises.
As it is written,
we have a mortal volunteer
to become one with Chichimatul.
By the power of Stonehenge! (thunder rumbling)
I pro offer, the final pup
and Vera Scheider's willing soul,
in your honor and glory, almighty Chichimatul!
(corn rustling)
- Hmm.
Sure is getting crowded in here.
- Yeah.
What happened to the Conan virus and social distancing?
I'm gonna tell Governor Andy about this one.
- Do we need a reason?
Just look around at the state of humanity!
Inferior, weak, sickly, frail,
divided, hateful, afraid!
Truly the monsters, the viruses of this age.
Becoming one with Chichimatul
will absolve us of these shortcomings.
We will all be part of the same mindset in the becoming.
Rulers of this planet,
and eventually the universe.
I pro offer the 13th pup!
(splashing)
(corn rustling)
The barriers are now unbound!
What was once impossible is now possible!
The festival of the Sanguinary is upon us!
The last serious attempt having taken place
1300 years ago,
when the earth ran red
with blood sacrifices, famine, and war!
All hail to our craft!
- Witchcraft!
- Stonehenge and the moon (thunder rumbling)
are in alignment.
It is time to change the world with the becoming.
(bass thumping)
(woman screaming)
(thunder rumbling)
(music intensifying)
All hail Chihimatul.
We are one with her now
and I am her protector!
I call upon the ancient powers of Strigoy.
(snarling)
- So this is what happens?
(snarling and gurgling)
- Okay, I guess we better do something
besides watch this like it's a bad movie.
(intense percussive music)
(corn rustling)
Smile, you son of a bitch.
(squishing)
- Have a grenade, bitch.
(eerie music)
(explosion booming)
(splatting)
(dramatic music)
(crickets chirping)
I guess we did it.
(both chuckling)
Now this is a story for your paper.
- Yeah, but.
That was really Bigfoot.
- Yeah.
With a big fucking rock.
- (laughing) I was afraid he would be real, but,
- No doubt now.
Let's get out of here so you can write that up.
- [Jonathan] You got it.
(trunk slamming)
- You ready?
- Let's do it, brother.
(ominous music)
(crickets chirping)
(eerie music)