1 00:00:03,046 --> 00:00:04,352 -Rand, you know I want to hear 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:06,223 all about the dance crew on your subway car. 3 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,182 I just can't right now. -You don't understand. 4 00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:10,401 They were doing flips overme. 5 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:14,188 They made Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey look like trash. 6 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:15,580 Most impressive part was 7 00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:18,409 none of the dancing was even remotely dirty. 8 00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,150 -Okay, but you got to sit down. I have to start court. 9 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,066 -Okay, maybe you should sit down 'cause Ineed to start court. 10 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,547 -Alright. Stop. I'm gonna tell you what I tell most dogs. 11 00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:29,203 You're not nearly as cute as you think you are. Now sit. 12 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:36,558 -Counselors, could you please approach? 13 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,735 This is mostly just relationship talk. 14 00:00:39,778 --> 00:00:40,866 -Nope. -Absolutely not. 15 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,259 -Hey, one of you has to stay. 16 00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,479 -[ Grunts ] -[ Groans ] 17 00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,002 -I'm sure you've been wondering 18 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,612 how things are going with me and Rand. 19 00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:49,397 -You have to know that I haven't. 20 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:51,616 -Oh. Well, the answer is great. 21 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,402 I was having some doubts, but ever since he's been here, 22 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,752 it's clear the problem was just the long distance. 23 00:00:56,795 --> 00:01:01,061 Look how cute he is sitting courtside like a basketball wife 24 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:03,715 or a more handsome Jack Nicholson. 25 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,152 -Morehandsome? 26 00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:08,764 Someone clearly hasn't seen "The Shining." 27 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,419 -First up, the People vs. Louise Johnson. 28 00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:12,985 -The defendant is charged with arson 29 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:16,250 for setting a fire at Shady Acres eldercare facility. 30 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,295 -Uh, Your Honor, this was an accident. 31 00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,602 My client was visiting her gentleman friend 32 00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:23,257 at his care facility celebrating his birthday, 33 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,650 and t-the candles got a little out of hand. 34 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:30,351 -He's 87, so it was a lot for the flan to take. 35 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,614 -And certainly my client cannot be held responsible 36 00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:36,487 for the structural instability of said flan. 37 00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,533 -It doesn't feel like these actions 38 00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:40,056 rise to the level of arson, 39 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:44,930 so I'm gonna say fine for damages and case dismissed. 40 00:01:44,973 --> 00:01:47,150 -Great ruling! Tough but fair! 41 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,630 That's my fiancée. 42 00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,283 She doesn't even practice that gaveling. 43 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,460 She just nails it every time. 44 00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:56,464 You dating anyone in the courtroom or...? 45 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:06,126 ♪♪ 46 00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:13,524 ♪♪ 47 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,178 -I can't wait for this courthouse tour. 48 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:16,962 Is it true you guys have a vending machine 49 00:02:17,006 --> 00:02:18,486 that still sells cigarettes? 50 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,183 -That's nothing. We also have a working switchboard. 51 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:23,665 No one uses it, but those nice ladies just have nowhere to go. 52 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,841 Um, I'm sorry. Can I help you? 53 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,192 -No, I'm fine. I'm the new public defender. 54 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,715 -What? Where's Dan? 55 00:02:30,759 --> 00:02:33,196 -That's the thing about Dans. They're everywhere. 56 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,329 I'm Ken Clark, and I love black licorice. 57 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,679 -No, thank you. 58 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,203 -[ Chuckles ] She does not speak for me. 59 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,771 -I'm gonna go find Dan and figure out what's going on. 60 00:02:42,814 --> 00:02:44,860 Is it okay if we take a rain check on the tour? 61 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:47,384 -Oh, yeah, I can do a self-guided tour. 62 00:02:47,428 --> 00:02:48,951 What's the worst that could happen? 63 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:51,171 -Nothing, as long as you take this whistle. 64 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,998 There's a lot of birds in the walls, 65 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:54,522 and if they're poised to attack, 66 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:57,351 that will help you sound like the pigeon king. 67 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:02,182 -Might as well take one for the road. 68 00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,358 -You've already had some. 69 00:03:06,098 --> 00:03:08,188 -Hey, Gurgs. 70 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,243 So, how's it goin'? 71 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,766 -I just failed another practice test 72 00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:23,725 for the bailiff supervisor program. 73 00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,727 -I didn't know there were bailiff supervisors. 74 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,469 -Oh, you think we just arrive fully formed? 75 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,254 I'm terrible with tests. 76 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:34,910 Those Scantron forms with their cold, soulless circles, 77 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,564 they freak me out! 78 00:03:36,607 --> 00:03:39,436 The only machine I trust is my Roomba, 79 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,875 whirring along, doing its job, eating my dirt. 80 00:03:43,918 --> 00:03:45,050 -May I borrow your salt? 81 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,574 -Oh, sure. -Not a chance! 82 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:48,010 I've seen you around here pulling your salt scam! 83 00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:51,535 We all know you trying to build a salt wife! 84 00:03:51,579 --> 00:03:53,276 Ehh! 85 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,583 -I think I have a solution. 86 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,498 -We lock all the salt shakers in the salt closet? 87 00:03:57,541 --> 00:04:00,762 -We have a salt closet? -I already said too much. 88 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,286 -No, I-I'm talking about your studying. 89 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,809 I'm amazing at exams. 90 00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:07,116 I just helped my neighbor pass his DMV vision test, 91 00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,640 and that man has no business behind the wheel! 92 00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,686 [ Laughs ] 93 00:04:11,728 --> 00:04:15,429 -Alright. Let's do this. I need all the help I can get. 94 00:04:15,472 --> 00:04:17,474 Aw, no, he's going for the Himalayan pink. 95 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,606 She's out of your league, Colin! 96 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:23,350 -There you are. 97 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,047 You're leaving and you weren't gonna even tell me?! 98 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:26,440 Just sneaking off into the night 99 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,963 like a real Kevin the chicken thief? 100 00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:30,966 -Kevin was -- -You know Kevin was a fox. 101 00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,272 -I knew you'd be upset. 102 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,664 That's why I was writing you a note. 103 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,449 It's all explained in there. 104 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,451 -"By the time you read this, I will be gone 105 00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:38,974 so you can't be mad at me." 106 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,455 -Now, imagine reading that, but I've already left. 107 00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:42,978 Poignant, sparse. 108 00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,154 That's how you build a memory. -A note? 109 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,635 After everything we've been through, you leave me a note? 110 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,463 You would pull this -- -Would you let me explain? 111 00:04:49,506 --> 00:04:51,856 -Yes, fine. Go ahead. Explain. 112 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,381 How dare you quit! 113 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:55,991 And to go do what? 114 00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:58,167 I can't imagine that you have a good reason for leaving. 115 00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,996 -I'm leaving to be a judge. -And you don't even bother -- 116 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:03,303 Wait. What? -I've been offered a position 117 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:06,044 back home -- Pearl River, Louisiana. 118 00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:07,568 I start next week. 119 00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:11,049 -Oh. Well, I guess that is a pretty good reason. 120 00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:15,184 Wait. You weren't gonna put that in the note?! 121 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,491 -[ Stammers ] 122 00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:24,019 -A judgeship. It's an incredible opportunity. 123 00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:27,022 -Yeah, being a judge is kind of a dream I had given up on. 124 00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:29,067 Think about it. I've been judging people 125 00:05:29,111 --> 00:05:30,330 my entire life for free. 126 00:05:30,373 --> 00:05:33,550 Now I'm gonna get a paycheck for it. 127 00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,770 -I can't blame you for following your dream. 128 00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,772 It would inspire me to follow mydream, 129 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,339 but my dream's impossible. 130 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:42,385 I want to be a twin. 131 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:45,562 -Truth is, I was a bit adrift before you came and dragged me 132 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:48,348 out of retirement, forced me to take this job. 133 00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:51,525 So...thank you. 134 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:55,050 -Dan, that's so -- -No. Stop. Just stop. 135 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,573 That's why I was writing a note. 136 00:05:56,617 --> 00:06:00,403 You want to hug something, hug the note. 137 00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,362 -Thank you for the heads-up about the birds. 138 00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,059 The scariest part isn't the violence. 139 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,583 It's that they seem to pick their victims. 140 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,892 -Rand, Dan is leaving, but it's because I helped him, 141 00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:13,111 gave his life new meaning, et cetera, et cetera. 142 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,896 -Oh, man. 143 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,550 I know we don't know each other very well, but I'll -- 144 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:18,726 I'll never forget the advice you gave me. 145 00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,381 "Rand, your fly is down." 146 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:24,732 -Rand, your fly is down again. 147 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:26,429 -As true now as it was then. 148 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,082 [ Zipper slides ] 149 00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,301 -Well, it's clear there's no way 150 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:30,607 I'm gonna convince you not to go, 151 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:32,740 just like there's no way you're gonna convince me 152 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,742 not to throw you the greatest goodbye party 153 00:06:34,784 --> 00:06:36,178 this town has ever seen. -Oh, g-- 154 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,006 -And you're not taking off for the bayou 155 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,139 without us throwing a party to say, "Bye, you." 156 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,925 And, you know, Rand can help me plan it. 157 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,622 He's great at this kind of thing. 158 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:49,539 -Yes, yes. I-I've planned, like, dozens of horse pageants. 159 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:51,846 A few of them went awry, but that's not my fault. 160 00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:56,372 See, the horses need to learn the pageants are not for them. 161 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,592 Anyway, Abby, you ready to go and get something to eat? 162 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,942 -Oh, Judge, I'm so sorry to bother you. 163 00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,857 You were so kind to me earlier. 164 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,163 I wondered if you could do me one more favor. 165 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:07,035 -I'm sure I can find some time on -- 166 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:09,603 -No, it needs to happen right now. 167 00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:12,432 -Um... 168 00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:15,304 -Yeah, s-sure. Fine. Stay and help. 169 00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:17,785 -Aww. Thank you for understanding. You're the best. 170 00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,787 But I don't want you to eat alone. 171 00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:21,310 So Dan will go with you! 172 00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,617 Rand can help start planning your party. 173 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,270 -Yeah. For a theme, are you thinking 174 00:07:25,314 --> 00:07:29,057 masquerade or mouse-querade? 175 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:32,277 -Why do I feel those are my only two options? 176 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:35,150 ♪♪ 177 00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:38,283 -So, we have covered a lot of test-taking strategies. 178 00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,633 How are you feeling? 179 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:43,593 -I know the answer to this one. Good! 180 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:47,510 -Well, let's see how you do on a pop quiz. 181 00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:50,034 In a multiple-choice test, the most common answer is... 182 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:54,299 A:B, B:C, C:A, or D: all of the above? 183 00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:55,997 -Uh, this is too much. 184 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,174 I've forgotten everything. Who are you?! 185 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:03,178 -Okay, we might've moved too fast, but we can use this. 186 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:06,398 If you panic during the test, try visualization. 187 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,835 Where do you feel most safe? 188 00:08:07,878 --> 00:08:10,533 -Um, the basement level of Bed Bath & Beyond, 189 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,318 World of Aquatic Birds at the Bronx Zoo, 190 00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,842 and this court. 191 00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,844 -Yes! You love this court! 192 00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,498 It's the thing I understand least about you. 193 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,021 And you love Daylight Savings Time. 194 00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:23,241 -Well, I love anything that Arizona is not involved in. 195 00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:26,680 -Alright. Let's try it. 196 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,856 I want you to close your eyes. 197 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,901 -Okay, but you better not hypnotize me 198 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,511 and convince me to quit smoking. 199 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,861 A guy did that once, and I miss it. 200 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:39,736 -You're here, in this court, with all your friends. 201 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,739 [Echoing] And they're helping to answer the test questions. 202 00:08:42,783 --> 00:08:44,741 -[ Gasps ] This is so cool! 203 00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,222 -Hey, Gurgs! Focus! 204 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:50,530 If a racecar driver finishes 12.5 laps in a 50-lap race, 205 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:54,142 what percentage of the race remains? 206 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,580 -Just see how many times you can subtract 12.5 from 50. 207 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,626 You got this, daddio! 208 00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,717 -Racecars! Vroom, vroom! Hi, Gurgs! 209 00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:12,464 -The answer...is 75. 210 00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:15,380 Now, would you let me out of here? This is stupid. 211 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,557 -[ Gasps ] It's 75%. 212 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,906 -Wait a minute. 213 00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,908 Abby's cool, but I'm the Hamburglar? 214 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:23,301 -I'm just as surprised as you are. 215 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,566 -So, Evelyn, I hear you've banned Louise 216 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,089 from visiting Shady Acres. 217 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:30,265 This is just such a sweet couple we're talking about here. 218 00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,267 We shouldn't be keeping them apart just because 219 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,834 of a little flan faux pas. 220 00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,444 All they want is a birthday do-over. 221 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:38,926 -That's how it starts. A little birthday party. 222 00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:41,363 Then suddenly, it's midday raves, 223 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,583 pill swapping, constant hookups. 224 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,324 We have to triple-chlorinate the pool! 225 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:47,761 My social life? Nada. 226 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,632 I'm too busy trying to keep these horndogs 227 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,025 from spreading the jitterbug, 228 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:54,289 an STD we thought time had forgotten. 229 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:56,857 -We have a good time! 230 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,859 -I can't add an arsonist into the mix. 231 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,122 I want to see firefighters running in there 232 00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,864 like the next gal, but it's just too much. 233 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,345 -Sorry I couldn't do more. 234 00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,260 Now I have a lot of questions for my grandmother 235 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,566 about her bridge club. 236 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,482 I don't remember ever seeing any cards. 237 00:10:13,525 --> 00:10:18,313 -See, Elmer and I met late in life, and... 238 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:22,709 probably don't have many more birthdays left to share. 239 00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:25,320 I don't know if you've ever lost someone, 240 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:28,628 but the time you lose, 241 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,978 you can never get back. 242 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,329 -Okay, Louise, you got me 243 00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:36,157 with that sweet face and how everything you wear 244 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,507 is a slightly different shade of purple. 245 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,988 This is unfair. You're not an arsonist. 246 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:43,425 And Elmer deserves to have his birthday. 247 00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,645 If you're not allowed in there, 248 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,559 we're just gonna have to bust him out. 249 00:10:47,603 --> 00:10:50,519 -Yes! Yes, yes! 250 00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:53,827 Should we celebrate with pills? 251 00:10:53,870 --> 00:10:56,830 You're gonna want to try a Wednesday. 252 00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:05,012 -Hanging out with Gabby's kids has been so fun. 253 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,709 I get to read a lot of books about trucks 254 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,538 with positive attitudes and hungry bugs who learn lessons. 255 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:13,107 I find it very relatable because I've also been hungry. 256 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:16,197 -Got to be honest -- barely listening. 257 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,200 Nervous about test scores. Can't even sentence. 258 00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:20,854 -You know what quiets the ol' brain? 259 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:24,509 Alcohol. Nature's snooze button. 260 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,555 -I got this. Oh, waiter! 261 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:29,297 -No. Let me try. Hey, Six Train! 262 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:33,214 Haven't I seen you reading Sue Grafton on 23rd Street? 263 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:36,130 -Wow, Gurgs. Really amazing at remembering people. 264 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,959 The salt guy, this waiter. 265 00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,135 I may have to use this superpower of yours for evil. 266 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,267 -You mean you want me to help you meet people? 267 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,966 That's not using it for evil. That's using it for normal. 268 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,533 -Huh. That seems less fun, but... 269 00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,057 okay. 270 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,624 -Well, well, well. 271 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:54,235 If there was one person I didn't expect to see 272 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:58,239 at Dan's going-away party, it's Dan. 273 00:11:58,282 --> 00:11:59,936 -Very funny. Oh, good, 'cause 274 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,459 I'm starting my speech with it. 275 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:03,418 There's gonna be tears, there's gonna be laughter, 276 00:12:03,461 --> 00:12:06,073 a lot of observational humor, and some crowd work. 277 00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:09,250 Yeah, this guy knows what I'm talkin' about. 278 00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,078 -Who the hell are all these people? 279 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:13,471 -Oh, okay, well, there's some from the courthouse, 280 00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,909 some former clients, um, a few legal bigwigs. 281 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,911 To get them here, I had to tell them 282 00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,521 they were nominated for an award, 283 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,828 so you're gonna have to hand out some awards. 284 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:24,265 But mostly people are here to celebrate you. 285 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,354 Hope you're ready for it. -Oh, I'm definitely ready. 286 00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,095 My bags are packed, the Uber's ordered, 287 00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:31,794 and I leave the first time I hear any glasses...ding. 288 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,274 -Oh, you can't leave your own party. 289 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,450 There's a lot of people here who want to tell you 290 00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:37,147 how much you mean to them. 291 00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,846 So you have to sit and listen to every last Fielding fan. 292 00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:42,457 -No, no, no. I have a surefire way out of any conversation. 293 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,112 See, the trick is just to have a little of your drink left 294 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,766 so that at any moment, you can go, 295 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,029 "Uh-oh! Time for a refill!" 296 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:51,858 -Hey! There's the man of the glower. 297 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,642 -You said I could use that in my speech! 298 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,775 -You still can. -But he's already heard it. 299 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,996 -Oh, look at that. Time for a refill. 300 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,520 -Alright, Gurgs, open up that magic box of a brain of yours 301 00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:05,132 and tell me the who's who of the who's here who can help me. 302 00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:07,047 -Okay, uh, let's see. 303 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:10,180 Oh, uh, Senior Budget Analyst Bernie Efrain. 304 00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:12,966 The Mayor's Chief of Staff, Susan McTavish. 305 00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:15,055 Tony Danza. -Tony Danza? 306 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:17,709 -Senior Law Librarian Tonathan Danza. 307 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,494 Still a pretty good get, though. 308 00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,409 -Ooh, what about that woman surrounded by people? 309 00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:23,193 She looks important. -That's Emily Carpenter. 310 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,804 She's a lawyer visiting from England. 311 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,631 -[ Gasps ] A barrister. 312 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:27,981 With the exchange rate, 313 00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:30,505 they're worth 1.18 American lawyers. 314 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,681 Tell me everything. -She's married to a doctor, 315 00:13:32,724 --> 00:13:34,726 she lives in Shoreditch, and she breeds Yorkies. 316 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:37,338 -Mm! 317 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,731 [British accent] Ms. Carpenter, so lovely to see you again. 318 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,169 Are your bitches in heat this month? 319 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:48,044 -You did such an amazing job helping me plan this party. 320 00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,003 And you resisted the urge to get a bounce house! 321 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,395 I'm so proud of you. 322 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,354 -I knew Dan would never take his shoes off. 323 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:55,095 I took mine off halfway through lunch. 324 00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,705 He called me a communist. 325 00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,535 I'm just excited we actually get to spend some time together. 326 00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,406 -Aww. You know I love spending time with -- 327 00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,538 [ Cellphone buzzes ] 328 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,670 Oh. Sorry. 329 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:08,021 Hello? -Change of plans. 330 00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,371 We have to break Elmer out tonight. 331 00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:13,026 -I can't tonight. I-I thought we agreed on tomorrow. 332 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,550 -They're moving him to the third floor! 333 00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:18,292 Sure, his new room has a walk-in bath 334 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,860 and a view of the good bird feeder, 335 00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,384 but it's too high for a prison break. 336 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:27,518 Oh, please, Judge. 337 00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,520 -Okay. Yeah. 338 00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:31,566 Uh, I'm on my way. 339 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,047 Okay. Don't be mad. I just have to go help someone. 340 00:14:34,090 --> 00:14:35,570 -Wait. What. Now?! 341 00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,746 -I know it's not ideal, but I'll be right back. 342 00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,443 Enjoy the party. When they start 343 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,402 bringing out the crab balls, just please don't laugh. 344 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,752 -Abby, t-this is a party for your friend. 345 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,406 I love small talk with strangers. 346 00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:48,800 I've made that very clear. But a man has his limits! 347 00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:51,151 I thought we were gonna get to hang out together. 348 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:52,935 -You know I want to, but you also know 349 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,632 how important my work is to me. 350 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,286 -But aren't I important, too? 351 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:59,202 -Of course. I'm just not used to distractions from work. 352 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,248 -I'm a distraction? -No, that's not what I meant. 353 00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,903 I-I'm sorry. I don't have time to get into this now. 354 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,427 I'm gonna be right back, okay? 355 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,821 -If those are crab balls, don't even bother. 356 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:13,086 I'm not in the mood to laugh. They'd be wasted on me. 357 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,700 -There you are. 358 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,310 Little update -- I have to leave. 359 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,095 -Oh, perfect. I'll go with you. -No, you have to stay 360 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:23,531 at your party, but I'll be back soon. 361 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,098 I just have to go help someone really quick. 362 00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,100 -Sounds about right. -Don't go anywhere. 363 00:15:27,143 --> 00:15:30,451 I want to say a proper goodbye when I get back. 364 00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,584 -Dan. Um, I have someone more important to talk to, 365 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:35,456 so I guess this is... 366 00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,023 -It is. 367 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:42,332 Any chance that our goodbye will be that cut and dry? 368 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,377 -It won't. 369 00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,509 Please promise me you'll be here. 370 00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,468 -Fine. I promise. 371 00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:51,820 The hell am I supposed to do with this? I said a splash. 372 00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:55,171 -Dan, Dan, Dan, there's just so much I have to say. 373 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,956 -Oh, you know what? I've got to get a drink, uh, 374 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,305 which I have in my hand. 375 00:15:58,348 --> 00:16:00,785 [ Chuckles nervously ] 376 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:01,961 -Anyway, "Dear, Dan..." 377 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,223 -You know what? No. Please don't. 378 00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,572 Don't say anymore. You know why? 379 00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:08,663 Because, um, I want you to come with me. 380 00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:11,927 Sure! Leave it all behind! 381 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,975 Uh, "Judge Fielding and Neil Clerk." 382 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,979 -You know I can't. I have a girlfriend now. 383 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,851 -Oh, that's just too bad for me. 384 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,810 Then fine. Just go. I can't look at you. 385 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,987 It hurts too much. Ahh... 386 00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:31,120 He gone? I can't take it. 387 00:16:31,164 --> 00:16:33,340 I can't listen to any more emotional talk. 388 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,168 -Abby and I had a fight. 389 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,177 -[Hoarsely] Go ahead. 390 00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,397 -Just with everything she's got going on, 391 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,486 I feel like there's no space for me. 392 00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,706 -[Normal voice] Look, Rand, I was married for a long time, 393 00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:54,622 and for much of that, Sarah and I were inseparable. 394 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:57,581 But there were times we couldn't find 10 minutes for each other. 395 00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,540 Usually during the Westminster Dog Show. 396 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,716 For some reason, she needed utter silence to watch 397 00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:05,198 some smug Pekingese show off its perfect haunches. 398 00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,374 -Yeah, I remember Wasabi. 399 00:17:09,157 --> 00:17:10,377 -Look, the point is that 400 00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:12,901 you're always gonna be her go-to person, 401 00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:16,731 her first phone call when she needs someone. 402 00:17:16,773 --> 00:17:20,430 -Dan, you have insane emotional intelligence. 403 00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:24,434 -Rand, I have everytype of intelligence. 404 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:26,958 -Look, I know we don't know each other very well, 405 00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,221 but I am really gonna -- 406 00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:30,049 -Eh. This party sucks. 407 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:33,704 ♪♪ 408 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,097 -This is his window. 409 00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,491 We may have to knock hard. 410 00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,581 He takes his hearing aids out after "Jeopardy!" 411 00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,671 -What is makes total sense? [ Laughs ] 412 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,067 [ Knocking on glass ] 413 00:17:50,286 --> 00:17:51,853 -Louise? -Fran?! 414 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:54,116 What the hell are you doing in Elmer's bedroom?! 415 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,597 -Okay, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable exp-- 416 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,426 -Oh, I will slice you so fast, you won't know what -- 417 00:17:59,469 --> 00:18:01,254 -No slicing. No slicing. -Louise? 418 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:02,994 -Oh, it's the wrong window. 419 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,779 -Oh, Louise, we got to move fast. 420 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:07,129 Come on. Let's make the most of those new knees. 421 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,262 Adorable grandkids, by the way. Come on. 422 00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,786 ♪♪ 423 00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:14,180 -Gurgs. What's wrong? Did you also just hear 424 00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:16,095 they're switching to a cash bar? 425 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,445 -No. That's not it. 426 00:18:18,488 --> 00:18:20,447 But you don't want to hear about my stuff. 427 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,405 Tonight's about you. 428 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,364 -Oh, whoa, whoa, you know, you're one of the few people 429 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,627 I like talking to around here, so do me a favor. 430 00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:30,500 Don't -- Don't ruin it, alright? So, what's going on? 431 00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,547 -I just got an e-mail that I didn't pass my entrance exam. 432 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:37,028 I'll tell you the problem. The proctor was a smoke show. 433 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:39,118 I mean, how are you supposed to concentrate on a test 434 00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,554 with a hottie like -- 435 00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:44,340 [ Gasps ] Unless that wasthe test. 436 00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,516 -Forget the result, alright? You're better than that exam. 437 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,214 You know what? You passed a much harder one. 438 00:18:48,257 --> 00:18:49,998 The Dan Fielding Approval Test. 439 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,827 And the D-FAT -- very prestigious. 440 00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,959 -Mm. See? This is why I'm gonna miss you. 441 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,397 -And see? Now we're done. 442 00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,838 -Gurgs, I'd like you to meet someone. 443 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,493 Emily was impressed that I remembered her, 444 00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,843 and I admitted it was your special skill. 445 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:11,889 And she said -- Well, I'll let you tell it, Emily. 446 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,369 Do it in your accent. 447 00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:16,372 -[British accent] I do everything in my accent. 448 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,287 Olivia told me all about you, 449 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:21,247 and I think you'd be perfect for a program at Scotland Yard. 450 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,726 -Scotland Yard? 451 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:25,512 That's the fanciest police station in the world. 452 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,688 -Well, they've put together an elite unit 453 00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:31,561 of facial-recognition experts called The Super Recognizers. 454 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:32,997 I know the name's sort of silly... 455 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,261 -The coolest. 456 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,393 -I know it's not bailiff supervisor. 457 00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:38,916 -Oh, it's better. 458 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,875 I mean, I've always wanted to be part of an elite unit. 459 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:43,182 And recognize people? That's what I do. 460 00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:46,054 Darren. Gus. 461 00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:50,406 Never seen him before. But obviously Carl. 462 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:53,235 You used your schmooze powers for me, Olivia. 463 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,019 That's not evil at all. 464 00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,065 -Well, don't tell anyone. 465 00:19:57,108 --> 00:20:00,199 -Hey, Six Train! I'm gonna be a Super Recognizer! 466 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,028 -Crab ball? 467 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,379 Hey. Why you back here hiding? 468 00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:07,728 Isn't this your party? 469 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,425 -Just waiting for an Uber to the airport. 470 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,732 -I got TSA-Pre, so I'm like a king at the airport. 471 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,603 Which is a shame because I'm amazing 472 00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:16,127 at taking off my belt and shoes. 473 00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,781 -Yeah, well, I'd rather spend my time 474 00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,566 waiting in a Wolfgang Puck Express 475 00:20:19,609 --> 00:20:22,221 than here listening to one more person say goodbye. 476 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,744 Why don't people just leave me alone? 477 00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,224 -Got it. -I mean, why are they all 478 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,747 getting so worked up anyway? 479 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,923 It's not like I'm gone for good. I'm keeping my apartment. 480 00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:31,230 Next month I'm seeing Alan Alda at the 92nd Street Y, 481 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:32,753 and when he sold me those tickets, 482 00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:35,756 he was very clear -- no refunds. 483 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,453 -Cool. Well, I'm-a take these -- 484 00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,629 -And I know that I told Abby that I would stay, 485 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:42,589 but I don't think a-a messy, emotional goodbye 486 00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:46,070 is something that I can handle tonight. 487 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:47,637 -Goodbyes can be tough, 488 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:50,597 but that's how you know you had something real. 489 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,948 Anyway, this is a nice party, man. 490 00:20:53,991 --> 00:20:56,429 Someone must really care about you. 491 00:20:58,822 --> 00:21:01,608 -Take the Queensboro Bridge. I'm not paying for the tunnel. 492 00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:03,087 [ Cellphone buzzes ] 493 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:05,089 Ohh. 494 00:21:05,133 --> 00:21:07,266 Uh, yes. Hi. Abby. 495 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:09,442 No, wait. It's -- Let me explain. 496 00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,008 I had to leave. It was an emergency. 497 00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:12,793 -That's not important right now. 498 00:21:12,836 --> 00:21:16,275 Any chance I can convince you to come out of retirement? 499 00:21:16,318 --> 00:21:17,624 Again? 500 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,452 I've been arrested! 501 00:21:22,498 --> 00:21:23,804 It's funny!