1 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,482 -Neil, what's troubling you? 2 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,528 Normally I wouldn't ask about someone else's life, 3 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:08,617 but your sadness amuses me. 4 00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,228 -I'm trying to text this girl I met at a party. 5 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:13,883 It's so much pressure, I feel like I'm gonna die. 6 00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:16,103 -Neil, picking up a pizza from Chuck E. Cheese 7 00:00:16,146 --> 00:00:17,756 doesn't count as a party. 8 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,411 -It was a real party. 9 00:00:20,455 --> 00:00:23,240 For my grandmother's 90th birthday at her care home. 10 00:00:23,284 --> 00:00:25,938 -Oh ho, that's the stuff! 11 00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,941 -But I did meet a very cute nurse. 12 00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:32,554 Her scrubs had puppies on them, so I told her I have a puppy. 13 00:00:32,597 --> 00:00:34,730 I'll have to figure that out later. 14 00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,253 -Guys, guess what. -It's the best -- 15 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,169 Oh, sorry, Judge, you go. -No, no, you tell them. 16 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,823 -Oh, no, no, why don't neither of you tell us 17 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,869 and let us just get on with our night? 18 00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,437 -Gurgs' nephew Xavier and some of his classmates are here 19 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:48,657 to do research for a social studies project. 20 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,224 -Don't you think it's a huge mistake 21 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,095 bringing children to the court? 22 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,924 And Earth in general. 23 00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,404 -This is our chance to inspire 24 00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:58,971 the next generation of judges and lawyers. 25 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:00,799 Like when my dad came for career day, 26 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,106 he did a presentation and mixed in some magic. 27 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,542 He brought the house down. 28 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,762 Made the book fair look like total trash. 29 00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,983 -I think giving back is a wonderful idea. 30 00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:12,811 Just picturing the wide-eyed look 31 00:01:12,855 --> 00:01:14,639 on the faces of prospective employers 32 00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:18,121 when they see the word "mentor" on my résumé. 33 00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:20,558 It's why I do this. 34 00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:21,820 -I'm just excited to get to spend 35 00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,561 some quality time with Xavier. 36 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,128 He used to really look up to me. 37 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,912 But ever since he started sprouting 38 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:29,611 that little baby mustache, he's been distant. 39 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:32,134 He hasn't come to my Sunday bun day in a while. 40 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,702 It's when we put things that normally 41 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:35,747 wouldn't go on a bun, on a bun. 42 00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:39,751 Lasagna, soup, ice cream, pie. 43 00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:43,886 -Oh, Jell-O? -What are you, crazy? 44 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:46,932 -Huh, I didn't know adults had cafeterias. 45 00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:49,152 -Don't look, but I think that's our lunch lady. 46 00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,763 -Right, that's our cue, Gurgs. 47 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,896 -Welcome, Justice Buddies! 48 00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:57,987 -If there's one thing I know about this generation, 49 00:01:58,030 --> 00:01:59,640 it's they love a banner. 50 00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:01,817 -We are so excited you're here, and we want you to learn 51 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:04,211 as much as you can, so each of you will be paired 52 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,908 with one of our legal professionals. 53 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,388 Max, you're gonna be with Neil. 54 00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:09,868 Our prosecutor, Olivia, is going to take Claire. 55 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,566 And, Xavier, you're gonna be with Gurgs. 56 00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:13,481 -'Cause he's always been my little buddy. 57 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,309 This is us back in the day. 58 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:18,138 Look, we have on matching uniforms. 59 00:02:18,181 --> 00:02:20,140 -That's a deepfake. 60 00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:24,187 -And, Carlos, you're gonna be with Dan, our public defender. 61 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,320 Mr. Fielding, would you like to meet your Justice Buddy? 62 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:31,063 -I reject the premise that I have a Justice Buddy. 63 00:02:31,107 --> 00:02:34,066 -Mr. Fielding, it'd be my honor to watch you work. 64 00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:35,938 -Continue. 65 00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:39,333 -What you do as a public defender is so noble, 66 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:42,814 and may I say, sir, you are one of the true heroes. 67 00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:46,209 -Well, I'm not a hero. 68 00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:49,821 I'm just a man who constantly does heroic things. 69 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:55,131 This one will make a fine assistant. 70 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,656 Two steps behind me, no eye contact. 71 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,441 [ Theme music plays ] 72 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:07,317 ♪♪ 73 00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:14,237 ♪♪ 74 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,804 -And for my next trick, 75 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,807 I give you the U.S. Constitution, 76 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,809 conserved and protected 77 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,593 by the judicial branch of government. 78 00:03:22,637 --> 00:03:27,119 Without it, your rights might...disappear. 79 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,732 Don't worry, it is not gone for good. 80 00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,256 It is right... 81 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,215 It's right... 82 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:38,218 It's definitely here. 83 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:41,133 -It's stuck in her bra again. It happened earlier too. 84 00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:42,396 She's gotten better though. 85 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,137 -Okay, you know what? 86 00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:46,878 No one panic. I'll be right back. 87 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,667 -Eye contact. 88 00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:58,020 -Sir, I know public defenders don't get paid enough 89 00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,240 for what they do, so may I buy you a coffee? 90 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:04,548 -Max, he's my Justice Buddy. I should be buying him a coffee. 91 00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,856 -Boys, boys, boys, don't fight. You both can buy me coffee. 92 00:04:10,598 --> 00:04:11,903 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 93 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:15,211 -Yeah, that's good. #GivingBack. 94 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,562 -Make sure to identify me as Claire Williams, 95 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,216 future district attorney. 96 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,738 I'm trying to get my name out there. 97 00:04:21,783 --> 00:04:24,002 -Rest assured, as your mentor, 98 00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,917 I will pass on to you everything I know. 99 00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,789 -Great. Then I can do the opposite 100 00:04:27,832 --> 00:04:29,269 so I don't end up in a place like this. 101 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:34,752 Some fearless feedback -- No one uses hashtags anymore. 102 00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,581 And maybe invest in an iron? 103 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:40,105 -I-I woke up late today. 104 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,803 -Your eyeliner tells that story. 105 00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,022 Don't let it become your narrative. 106 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,027 -I hate kids. 107 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:51,334 Just look at them, growing with their big dreams 108 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,337 and unearned confidence and overabundance of collagen. 109 00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,382 It's just rude. 110 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,209 -Mine is pretty great actually. 111 00:04:57,253 --> 00:04:59,690 He helped me write that nurse the perfect text, and look. 112 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,911 Just sent me a selfie. 113 00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:05,609 -You asked a child for dating advice? 114 00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,176 -I don't know what to tell you, Olivia. 115 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:08,612 This is where we're at. 116 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:12,486 Wait, am I supposed to send a selfie back? 117 00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,314 I'll check with Max. 118 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,492 -Being in a courthouse is cool, right? 119 00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:20,798 Ah, it's just like on TV. 120 00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:24,715 I remember you used to watch "Paw Patrol." 121 00:05:24,759 --> 00:05:26,891 Chase the Police Pup was your favorite character. 122 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,806 -I can't believe I ever watched that. 123 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,504 That show is copaganda. 124 00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,941 -Cool, cool, cool. 125 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:35,117 Fire! 126 00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:37,728 So, uh, what are you into these days? 127 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,296 -You ever get on TikTok? -No. 128 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:44,169 Apparently the handle @gurgs is already taken. 129 00:05:44,213 --> 00:05:47,695 Some mouthwash influencer. 130 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,480 -Well, there's this guy, Malcolm FX. 131 00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,222 He's a street artist who talks about the real issues. 132 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,876 -Oh, I know him. 133 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:58,009 He's the one that did that Central Park Five mural. 134 00:05:58,053 --> 00:05:59,881 His work is legit. 135 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,666 Wait, he's getting arrested in this video. 136 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,059 And he's coming to this court? 137 00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,278 -Oh, is he? 138 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:09,412 Oh, that's -- that's weird. 139 00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,980 I never -- -Don't play. 140 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,677 Are you here to get a picture with him? 141 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,114 Alright, I'll sneak you into the lineup, 142 00:06:16,158 --> 00:06:19,379 but if someone identifies you as the perp, you're on your own. 143 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,032 -Oh, um... 144 00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:24,166 I wasn't going to tell you because I didn't think 145 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,865 you'd get it, but we're here to see the trial 146 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:31,652 so when the system screws Malcolm FX, we can take action. 147 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,219 -Take action? In my courtroom? 148 00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,178 Cool, cool, cool. 149 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,486 Uh, that is fire. 150 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,449 -Judge, fun new idea. 151 00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,103 -Ooh, I love fun new ideas. 152 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:51,715 What do you think about a gavel that goes "boi-oi-oing"? 153 00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,543 I'm not sure if it should be a sound effect 154 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,067 or a superloud spring. 155 00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:59,723 -Well, I was thinking what if we send the kids home? 156 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,290 -Disband the Justice Buddies? 157 00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,553 -Yeah, they've already been plenty inspired by 158 00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:06,861 "Abby Stone presents Law-zzle Daw-zzle." 159 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,689 -Aw, well, that was just the previews. 160 00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,647 It's time for the feature presentation. 161 00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,301 -Mnh-mnh. The previews are the best part. 162 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,085 I don't even stay for the movie. 163 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,392 When the lights go all the way down, I get all the way up. 164 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,264 -Trust me, there is nothing better than seeing 165 00:07:19,308 --> 00:07:21,484 this justice system in action. 166 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,486 You want to... -Mm-hmm, yeah. 167 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,574 Okay. 168 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:27,185 Uh, all rise. 169 00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:29,187 The Honorable Judge Abby Stone presiding 170 00:07:29,231 --> 00:07:32,756 over a very calm and respectful court. 171 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,932 -First up, the City vs. Malcolm Richardson, 172 00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:37,282 aka Malcolm FX. 173 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,763 -Your Honor, the defendant was caught defacing the statue 174 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:41,461 of Christopher Columbus in Central Park 175 00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:43,941 by covering his head with this. 176 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,944 -I was trying to flush that piece of -- 177 00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,207 -Oh! Children. 178 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,122 -He also works in bidets. 179 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:54,517 Oh! I love it when art surprises me. 180 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:59,391 Your Honor, my justice associate has familiarized me 181 00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,481 with Mr. FX's work. 182 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,917 He is no criminal. 183 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,181 He is an artist who provokes social change, 184 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,704 a man who uses his medium 185 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:11,360 to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. 186 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,840 -Just like Mr. Fielding. 187 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,365 -Ah, kiddo. 188 00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,020 -No one is saying that Christopher Columbus is good. 189 00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,674 He and I have very different opinions 190 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:24,199 on how you should make friends when you're new in town. 191 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,288 Don't you think you could contribute to the debate 192 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:27,724 without breaking the law? 193 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,552 -We've been debating for 400 years. 194 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,206 What more is there left to say? 195 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:34,338 Nah, man, actions speak louder than words. 196 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:35,863 -Yeah! -Whoo! 197 00:08:35,905 --> 00:08:38,561 -Yeah, freedom of speech, a right guaranteed 198 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,040 to every citizen 199 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,477 by the First Amendment of the Constitution. 200 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:47,396 And that document is the GOAT. 201 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,919 And I will fight tooth and nail 202 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:51,661 to make sure it exists for future generations. 203 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:54,490 [ Cheers and applause ] 204 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,883 -Okay, okay, order. 205 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:58,059 Gurgs, can I talk to you a minute? 206 00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,800 I was right, huh? 207 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,236 Watching the court in action got them real fired up, huh? 208 00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:02,977 -Yeah, fired up, alright. 209 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:05,240 -Think you can get them just to calm down a little bit? 210 00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:06,458 -Sure. 211 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,331 Uh, but while I'm up here, 212 00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:12,334 I just think the charges seem a little harsh 213 00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:15,119 for someone who's trying to express himself. 214 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,339 If Christopher Columbus would've seen a modern toilet, 215 00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:18,645 he wouldn't know what to do with it. 216 00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,950 He might have put it on his head. 217 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:23,040 We just don't know. 218 00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:24,259 -Unfortunately, my hands are tied. 219 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,000 This isn't about freedom of speech. 220 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,350 He confessed to vandalizing public property. 221 00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:34,269 I find the defendant guilty of third-degree criminal mischief. 222 00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,837 -Objection! This system is rigged! 223 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,142 -Unleash the signs! 224 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,101 What do we want? -Justice! 225 00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:43,495 -When do we want it? -Justice! 226 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:46,324 -I said we should get one more practice in, 227 00:09:46,368 --> 00:09:48,892 but no one listens to Max. 228 00:09:48,936 --> 00:09:50,241 -What is going on? 229 00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:52,374 -We're protesting an unjust system 230 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,594 that will find Malcolm FX guilty of anything 231 00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,247 except speaking the truth. 232 00:09:56,290 --> 00:09:58,598 -And they got a better banner than you. 233 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,863 -Look, you seem like a nice magician, 234 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:06,083 but you're a cog in a broken system. 235 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:08,651 -There is a lot of passion here, which I love. 236 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,959 -Day or night, court's not right! 237 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,657 Day or night, court's not right! 238 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,224 -Don't love that. 239 00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,008 Neil, can you clear the court out, please? 240 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,923 And, um, everyone else, can I talk to you 241 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,621 out in the hall, where there's less chants? 242 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,231 -Less "chance" of what?! 243 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,667 -No, less chants! 244 00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:25,886 -There's no chance we're gonna hear you 245 00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:26,974 over all these chants! 246 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:28,236 Let's go out in the hall! 247 00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,413 -Day or night, court's not right! 248 00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:34,068 Day or night, court's not right! 249 00:10:34,111 --> 00:10:36,287 -What is going on in there? -Okay, look, this is my fault. 250 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,985 I should have -- -It's not your fault. 251 00:10:38,028 --> 00:10:39,682 Dan's the one who got them all riled up, talking about 252 00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:41,423 the First Amendment for his little fan club. 253 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,686 -I was just making a passionate defense for my client. 254 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,645 The fact that it turned a roomful of children 255 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:48,517 against you is just a fun bonus. 256 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,259 -No, a fun bonus is when you're watching 257 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,390 "Live with Kelly and Ryan" 258 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,435 but Ryan Seacrest has the day off, 259 00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,089 so Kelly's husband fills in 260 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:58,875 and you get to see their sexual tension for a full hour. 261 00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:01,269 -Maybe some disillusionment is a good thing. 262 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:04,533 Now Claire doesn't go into law and we all sleep easier. 263 00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,668 Claire, my little justice nemesis. 264 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,931 How do not know Claire? She's trying to destroy me! 265 00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,282 -I think y'all are missing the point. 266 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,458 When Xavier came to me and told me what they were going to do -- 267 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,199 -Wait, you knew they were going to do this? 268 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:21,637 -Well, I only found out -- -Why didn't you tell me? 269 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,771 -If I'm being honest, I can see where the kids are coming from. 270 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,511 -Oh, that's great, so you can talk to them. 271 00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:27,687 You can get them to calm down. 272 00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:31,429 -You know what? Yeah, I got this. 273 00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:34,563 -Day or night, court's not right! 274 00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,261 Day or night, court's not right! 275 00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:40,047 -Xavier Lawrence. -Yeah? 276 00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,701 -You got room for one more? 277 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,231 -Sorry, I grabbed my science homework by mistake. 278 00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:57,542 -Gurgs, what are you doing? 279 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:58,979 -I'm supporting my nephew. 280 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,502 -Hey, Max, I know it's not the best time, 281 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,373 but I'm getting the three dots. 282 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,988 -I got 70 cases tonight, Gurgs, and we already started late 283 00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:09,163 'cause I did that magic show. 284 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,384 You know I'm obligated to report this. 285 00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:17,084 -I do know protocol. -Well, then, help me out. 286 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,564 I hear you, but you could lose your job. 287 00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,001 Are you sure about this? 288 00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:26,136 -When I say "all rise," you say "get wise." 289 00:12:26,180 --> 00:12:27,747 All rise! -Get wise! 290 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:29,705 -All rise! -Get wise! 291 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,011 -All rise! -Get wise! 292 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,403 -All rise! -Get wise! 293 00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,579 -Claire is clearly the weakest chanter. 294 00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:36,146 -Get wise! 295 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,194 -Neil, they're trespassers in my courtroom, 296 00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,849 which means we have no choice but to report them. 297 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:46,678 So can you report them? -I don't want to do that. 298 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,985 -Neither do I. 299 00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:50,552 -Here's a good rule of thumb. 300 00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:52,119 If you're too scared to do something, 301 00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,121 I'm definitely too scared to do it. 302 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,953 -Okay, I'm here as a liaison with a list of demands. 303 00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:03,695 "We the protesters will not be silenced until we receive," 304 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,307 uh, all of these. 305 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:10,093 -The children demand a bottle of Macallan single malt scotch? 306 00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:14,271 -Oh, yes, and they insist on the 18-year, not the 12. 307 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:17,405 These kids have taste. 308 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:19,059 -How can you just treat this like a joke? 309 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,843 -Of the things that I have seen in this court, 310 00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,279 this doesn't even break the top 20. 311 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,368 There are no bombs, there are no hostages, 312 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,675 no disgruntled warlocks. 313 00:13:26,718 --> 00:13:28,808 This is a snooze. 314 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:32,420 -Oh, Gurgs, thank God. Is the protest over? 315 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,769 -No, I'm here with our demands. 316 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,772 -Uh, uh, what are you talking about? 317 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,730 I just brought our demands. 318 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,038 Alright, fine. 319 00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:45,389 These are for me, but my happiness is important to them. 320 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:49,263 -Neil, you're missing it. 321 00:13:49,306 --> 00:13:50,960 They started a chant about you. 322 00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:53,789 "Clerks are jerks!" 323 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,312 -I got bigger problems out here. 324 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,705 I sent the nurse a selfie 325 00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:58,533 and she saw all the kids in the background. 326 00:13:58,576 --> 00:14:00,883 Now she thinks they're my kids. -What? Why would she think that? 327 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:03,277 -I told her they were my kids. 328 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,844 I didn't know what to do. 329 00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:06,976 My Justice Buddy wasn't around, so I panicked. 330 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,543 -Sorry that a 12-year-old 331 00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:10,458 dropped the ball on your love life. 332 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:14,331 Well, this little protest really worked out well for me. 333 00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:18,640 I got some photos of that little queen bee agitator, Claire. 334 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:21,469 She will never work in a D.A.'s office after they see this. 335 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,341 Oh, it is a career killer! 336 00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,387 -You do know we're talking about a child? 337 00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,823 She doesn't have a career. 338 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,520 -Yeah, and I intend to keep it that way. 339 00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,567 -They would also like a complete overhaul 340 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,960 of the judicial system, 341 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,266 the abolishment of the Electoral College, 342 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:40,227 and a large cheese pizza with Doritos baked into the crust. 343 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:42,664 -Some of those are really tricky. 344 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,709 I don't know how I'm going to do that pizza thing. 345 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:48,322 Can we just end this? I'm not anti-protest. 346 00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,019 I went to all the women's marches, 347 00:14:50,063 --> 00:14:52,021 and the march I thought was against ageism 348 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,632 but turned out to be a casino bus that broke down. 349 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,331 -None of those grandmas knew how to change a tire? 350 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,420 Greatest generation, my butt! 351 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,206 -I know firsthand how this system fails, 352 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:05,556 and you know I try really hard to make things better, 353 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,949 but they are blaming me for something 354 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,037 that I can't do anything about. 355 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:09,778 It's just unfair. 356 00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,957 -That's not a good feeling, right? 357 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,611 When things are unfair and there's nothing 358 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,221 you can do about it. 359 00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,875 Makes you want to -- I don't know -- 360 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,966 pick up a sign and yell or something. 361 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:27,274 I like working here. I like working with you. 362 00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:28,840 But there are cases that come through here 363 00:15:28,884 --> 00:15:30,320 that just get under my skin. 364 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,801 Most nights, I can push past it. 365 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,455 Tonight was different. 366 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:39,808 -Alright, so, I've talked the kids down 367 00:15:39,851 --> 00:15:41,549 to something more reasonable. 368 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:44,726 They want to have a weekly luncheon with me at The Palm. 369 00:15:44,769 --> 00:15:47,598 No budgetary restrictions. 370 00:15:47,642 --> 00:15:48,860 Oh, yeah, and they'll be in school 371 00:15:48,904 --> 00:15:51,776 so they won't be able to attend. 372 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,865 -You know, I just realized something. 373 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:57,391 I'm the bad guy in this situation. 374 00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,001 -Must be hard for you. 375 00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655 I mean, I've been the good guy for like 45 minutes, 376 00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:03,353 and it's pretty intoxicating. 377 00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:05,790 Don't know if I'll ever be able to go back. 378 00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:08,228 -You're using children to scam booze. 379 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,317 I'm pretty sure you'll be able to go back. 380 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,929 -Look, you said yourself that you're part of a system 381 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,626 that doesn't always get it right, 382 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:19,239 which means that sometimes you're gonna be the bad guy. 383 00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:20,849 You know what? I'm -- I'm gonna tell you 384 00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,590 something that's gonna be difficult for you to hear, 385 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,940 but I know from experience. 386 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,594 This isn't about you, Dan. 387 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,078 Sorry, I've just never heard that sentence 388 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,167 without the word "Dan" at the end of it. 389 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,649 -So I guess I got to figure out a way to make it about them. 390 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,217 -Or we could just shut this whole place down 391 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,653 and I would never have to come back. 392 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,786 -You know, a real good guy would help me. 393 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,048 -Yeah, okay. 394 00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,615 Tell you what -- Let's go get a table 395 00:16:47,658 --> 00:16:49,095 at The Palm and figure this out. 396 00:16:56,363 --> 00:17:00,149 -What you got there, hmm? A little celebratory cola? 397 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,456 Feeling pretty good about yourself, huh? 398 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,720 Well, you should know stunts like this can really hurt 399 00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:07,809 your chances with law school and future employers. 400 00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,290 -Are you blackmailing me? 401 00:17:11,638 --> 00:17:13,902 -Should I be? 402 00:17:13,944 --> 00:17:17,123 -Please, I could spin those pics like a C.D. player -- 403 00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:18,515 an obsolete device you may remember 404 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,690 from your teenage years. 405 00:17:19,733 --> 00:17:21,910 -[ Gasps ] 406 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,738 Okay. 407 00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:26,219 You're young and you, uh, think you got it all figured out, 408 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,089 but pretty soon you're going to wake up 409 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,092 to a closet full of Ann Taylor Loft, 410 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,964 an infestation of roaches that you call water bugs, 411 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,749 and a therapist who won't return your phone calls 412 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,578 because her therapist identified you as clinically unhelpable! 413 00:17:39,928 --> 00:17:42,496 -You're right. I don't have it all figured out. 414 00:17:42,539 --> 00:17:44,454 I act like I do because I'm scared 415 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,544 and I lash out at people to make myself feel better. 416 00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,894 I'm a fake. 417 00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:57,424 -I'm an adult woman who felt threatened by a 13-year-old. 418 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,950 And that monologue was about me. 419 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,522 -So, are you really going to lose your job over this? 420 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,915 -Probably. -Good. 421 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:14,136 Why do you want to work in a place like this anyway? 422 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,572 -I've asked myself that question a lot 423 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,139 these last couple years. 424 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,576 Why do I keep putting on this uniform? 425 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,232 I think being here is important. 426 00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:25,495 I want the people who come to court to see 427 00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:28,542 someone from their community, someone who understands them 428 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:30,848 and who doesn't just assume they're guilty. 429 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,938 I mean, sometimes they are very guilty. 430 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,551 But they still deserve to be treated like human beings, 431 00:18:37,594 --> 00:18:38,813 and that's what I do. 432 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,643 -Maybe it's good to have people like you here. 433 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,342 I hope you don't lose your job. 434 00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,910 -Well, if I do, I'll just get a job at your school. 435 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,478 [ Laughs ] If you think you were embarrassed today, 436 00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,219 strap in, baby! 437 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,921 -Alright, no more being Judge Mr. Nice Judge! 438 00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:03,620 I'm charging you all with criminal trespassing! 439 00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,971 Technically Olivia is charging you, 440 00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:11,150 so really she's the worst, but I'm still plenty bad! 441 00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,675 -Just a second, you tiny monster! 442 00:19:14,718 --> 00:19:17,112 -Ah, it's Mr. Fielding for the defense. 443 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,159 -That's right, and I have secured an emergency permit 444 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:24,685 to allow these young people to assemble. 445 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,340 -Damn it, you found a way to let these dissenting voices 446 00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,429 be heard by working within the system. 447 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:32,040 You and these fresh-faced future lawyers and judges 448 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,695 have foiled me yet again! 449 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:39,047 -Is this a play? 450 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,962 -It's boring like a play. 451 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,575 -No, it's very funny and suspicious 452 00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:48,143 that you're against us when your signature is on it. 453 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:50,319 -Is it? Wow. 454 00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:53,627 I sign so many things 'cause, you know, cog. 455 00:19:54,671 --> 00:19:56,282 -Uh-huh. 456 00:19:56,325 --> 00:20:00,590 Well, thanks, but our protest is over anyway. 457 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:03,637 This place needs a lot of work. 458 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:07,554 But I feel better knowing there are people here who get it. 459 00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,251 -Me too. 460 00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,777 -So, this means I get to go 461 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:17,651 to your school's auntie-nephew dance. 462 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:20,436 -Uh, we don't have one of tho-- -Shh! 463 00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,223 Let her have this. 464 00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,184 -There, I fixed it for you. 465 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,577 She said she'll see you next weekend 466 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,970 when your kids are with your ex in Hartford. 467 00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,972 -Wow, you're good. 468 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,844 You know, this whole night, I thought I was teaching you, 469 00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:39,281 but in a way, you were teaching me. 470 00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,979 -In every way I was teaching you. 471 00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,720 At no point were you teaching me. 472 00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:50,074 -Goodbye, Aunt Gurgs. 473 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,728 See you at Sunday bun day? 474 00:20:51,772 --> 00:20:54,731 -Thanks again for the invite. I can't wait. 475 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:57,995 It's going to be a "bunnn-ch" of fun. 476 00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:01,390 -It's called bun day, not pun day. 477 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:04,785 -Before I go, I just want to let you know 478 00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:05,916 how much this meant to me. 479 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,309 -Oh! 480 00:21:07,353 --> 00:21:09,485 This generation and your incessant need 481 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,400 to express every feeling. 482 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:14,273 J-Just get out of here before I take more 483 00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,100 of your birthday money. 484 00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,842 You know what? 485 00:21:18,886 --> 00:21:20,540 This turned out to be a lot of fun.