1
00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:05,105
♪
2
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,121
What's up?
3
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,290
Where is everybody?
4
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,291
They're so late.
5
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,626
That's so unprofessional
of them.
6
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:26,960
You should talk to them.
7
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,795
The meeting ended
ten minutes ago, Sam.
8
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,330
‐You're late.
‐(scoffs) What?
9
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:33,267
Someone changed the meeting time
and didn't tell me?
10
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:34,468
‐That's messed up.
It was probably Austin.
‐Nope.
11
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,969
‐Nope.
‐That kid sucks.
12
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,404
He's had it out for me
since day one.
13
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,439
‐Sam.
‐I'm telling you.
He's, like, genuinely
14
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,774
‐very jealous of me.
‐Sam, you're drunk.
15
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,409
What?
16
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:44,278
You're a holding a bottle
of vodka right in front of me.
17
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,879
This is water.
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:46,980
It's water, and honestly...
19
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,448
‐Can I smell it?
‐Would it matter?
20
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,385
‐Yeah, it actually does matter.
‐Dude, it doesn't matter.
21
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,121
I could do this job
drunk, sober, juggling.
22
00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,455
I mean, come on,
you name it, I could do it.
23
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:56,623
This is ridiculous.
24
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,126
We're not winning
Pulitzers here, man.
25
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:02,563
I don't want to, like,
rain on your parade, but, like,
26
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,299
"Hey, here's ten dogs that look
the cast of Gossip Girl"?
27
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,967
Sam, what are you doing?
28
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,036
What am I doing?!
29
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,238
That is an interesting question.
30
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,540
What are we doing here?
31
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:16,543
We just sit around
and friggin' talk to each other
32
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,579
‐and wait to die?
‐Listen, here's the good news.
33
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,981
You don't have to worry
about any of this stuff
34
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,749
ever again, okay?
35
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,618
Because you're fired.
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,486
Fired?
37
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,988
(scoffs)
38
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,090
You're firing me?
39
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:31,658
‐Yeah.
‐Wow.
40
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:34,761
‐Because I am a woman
who said something true.
‐No.
41
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,597
Oh, my God. Seriously?
42
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,832
I'm gonna find a lawsuit
in there. I can guarantee it.
43
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,500
‐For what?
‐And I'm gonna find it...
44
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,469
For you being drunk every day
and showing up to work?
45
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,371
‐That's why you're fired.
‐You're fired.
46
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,274
Sam, just get out, please.
47
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,709
‐I'm not leaving!
‐You...
48
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,444
‐You have...
‐This is, this is happening now.
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,245
I'm hanging out.
50
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:53,814
‐Sam, I don't want to... Okay.
‐Nope.
51
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,449
‐I'm not going anywhere.
‐(sighs)
52
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,918
‐Too bad. So sad.
I'm staying in your office.
‐All right.
53
00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,753
‐I'm occupying the space.
‐I didn't want to do it
like this,
54
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,955
‐but you leave no choice. Okay.
‐What are you doing?
55
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,423
I'll tell you
what I'm not doing is...
56
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:05,392
I'm not putting my hands on you
and moving you myself,
57
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,294
'cause that's not cool.
All right?
58
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,563
‐That's a Cuomo
and I'm not doing that.
‐MAN: Security.
59
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:10,964
Yeah, security,
this is Bzzzzzzzzzz.
60
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,933
‐Uh, sixth floor
conference room.
‐Security?
61
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:13,934
There's a burglar here.
62
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,369
‐A short woman.
‐Give me this.
63
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,970
‐Orange sweater.
‐Come on!
64
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,238
‐Dark hair. No.
‐Let me talk to them.
65
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:19,106
‐Get out... Sam.
‐Let me tell them the truth.
66
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,407
Let me tell them the truth.
67
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:21,608
‐Hi, this is...
‐God, you're strong.
68
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,110
This is the aforementioned Sam.
69
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,778
I was telling him
something honest,
70
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,780
‐and the patriarchy
couldn't handle that.
‐(grunts)
71
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,749
‐Do you hear me?
‐Oh, my God. Please.
72
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:29,950
Let me have it!
You know what?
73
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:30,751
I quit!
74
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:31,618
Aah!
75
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:32,753
Ow!
76
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,054
God!
77
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,256
What the hell, Sam?
78
00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:37,257
Oh.
79
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:40,560
‐MAN: Sir? Are you okay?
‐Oh, God.
80
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,095
(breathes heavily)
81
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:43,563
Oh, my God.
82
00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:47,901
♪ Onset, make you
work up sweat an' a ♪
83
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:50,103
♪ Onset, make you ♪
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
84
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,905
♪ Onset, make you
work up sweat an' a ♪
85
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,074
♪ Onset make you
work up sweat, make ya ♪
86
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,109
♪ Onset, make you work up
sweat, make ya ♪
87
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,144
♪ Onset, make you
work up sweat ♪
88
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:58,645
♪ Better the measure ♪
89
00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:00,480
♪ To make 'em all say,
"Yes, sir" ♪
90
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:01,948
♪ Oh, oh, oh. ♪
91
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,351
SAMANTHA:
I followed you on Instagram.
92
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,952
I noticed that you
haven't followed me back yet,
93
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,155
but I figured since they won't
give me your cell phone number,
94
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,990
we could just, like,
DM or something
95
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,458
and keep it touch
that way, or...
96
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,893
‐Mm.
‐Oh, I guess
I can just email you, right?
97
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,227
That's fine. Okay.
98
00:03:14,227 --> 00:03:15,562
‐I just don't want...
‐CAROL: Hurry up!
99
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,964
I have my spiritual book club
meeting at 2:00,
100
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,167
and I can't miss it
because I'm the speaker.
101
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:25,706
SIDNEY:
I sincerely hope
you don't come back.
102
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,909
I'm gonna miss you.
103
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,445
Yeah.
104
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,046
Hello, Smother.
105
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,215
Hello, Beauty Girl.
106
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,785
Is that your New York apartment
in one bag?
107
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,620
Can you not...
can we not on the seat?
108
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,322
Because it's clean.
Okay, it's not. It's...
109
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,458
(chuckles)
It's fine.
110
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,495
Thanks for not
making me take the T.
111
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,630
Oh. (chuckles)
112
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:54,434
Who's‐who's that‐‐
your rehab boyfriend?
113
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:57,370
No. That's my therapist.
Sidney.
114
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,108
Did you just talk about me
the whole time?
115
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:03,276
Yes, Mother.
It's all about you.
116
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,548
But yeah, basically.
117
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,584
(engine starts)
118
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,652
("You Sad" by Tkay Maidza
playing)
119
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,123
♪ You so sad ♪
120
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,964
♪ Don't pull up
to tell me how you feel ♪
121
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,967
♪ 'Cause it won't end up
going your way ♪
122
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:30,036
♪ I've been fooled once,
but I won't be fooled again ♪
123
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,272
♪ My Z‐O‐D told me
we don't match today ♪
124
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,241
♪ So I've been duckin',
you're buggin' ♪
125
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:36,376
♪ Like Frank,
catch me if you can ♪
126
00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,211
♪ Catch me if you can ♪
127
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,914
♪ Quite frankly,
I think that you'll thank me ♪
128
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,816
♪ For this when you understand ♪
129
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,151
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪
130
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,419
Oh. What are you
getting all tarted‐up for?
131
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:49,055
I have an audition for Chicago,
national tour.
132
00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:50,991
‐Really?
‐I'm going to meet
133
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,459
‐my new probation officer.
‐Well,
134
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,927
let's hope, for your sake,
he's a man,
135
00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:56,129
because men let things slide
136
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,764
‐when you're pretty.
‐Oh.
137
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,299
Thank you for saying
I look pretty while I
138
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,967
‐hide my withdrawal zits.
‐You're welcome.
139
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,273
You're not actually
really covering your zits.
140
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,041
‐That's a little... It's pale.
‐Okay.
141
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,477
The color. Teeny. Teeny.
Here...
142
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:11,978
♪ Trying to play
a big boy game... ♪
143
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,114
WOMAN:
Don't play the family card.
144
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,449
I cannot right now.
145
00:05:16,449 --> 00:05:18,285
Mm‐mmm.
146
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:19,619
Okay.
147
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,288
(sighs) Bye. Bye.
148
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:22,956
Sorry.
149
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,491
My sister's husband just died.
150
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,793
‐It's a whole thing. (sighs)
‐Oh.
151
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:27,794
Well, he was 87.
152
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:28,795
He lived a good life.
153
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:29,796
And now she's very rich.
154
00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:31,731
But we're here
to talk about you.
155
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:32,966
So...
156
00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:36,136
Mm.
157
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,604
I had one bad day
158
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,639
that turned into
a Class A misdemeanor.
159
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:41,741
Otherwise known
as reckless assault.
160
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:45,412
Yes, but I did
a 30‐day rehab program.
161
00:05:45,412 --> 00:05:48,448
I picked up enough trash
on the side of the road
162
00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:50,750
to make it all good,
you know? I...
163
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,252
I did the crime,
but I did the time,
164
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:53,787
and I'm not sure
why I'm here.
165
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,821
You're here 'cause someone
got you the best deal
166
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,957
‐I've ever seen.
‐Well, I think if it was
167
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,124
the best deal you'd ever seen,
I wouldn't be
168
00:05:58,124 --> 00:05:59,492
sitting in your office,
I'd be watching
169
00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,228
every version of
Pride and Prejudice ever made.
170
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,229
Okay.
171
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,763
So, the State of New York
172
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:05,065
has put under my care,
173
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,800
and as part of your probation,
174
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:11,137
um, you'll need to attend
meetings every day for 90 days.
175
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,439
Go ahead and
get someone at the meeting
176
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:13,874
to sign that for you, okay?
177
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,041
(sighs)
178
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,643
Uh, all right.
I'm just spitballing here.
179
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:19,779
What if I hit three meetings
a day for 30 days?
180
00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,715
Some‐some fast math.
181
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,751
Feel like I could just
get sober real quick.
182
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,053
Okay. You know what?
183
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:30,257
(sighs)
184
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,326
(mutters)
185
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,331
♪
186
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,136
Hi.
187
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,471
‐Hi.
‐(chuckles)
188
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:46,072
‐I'm Olivia.
‐Samantha.
189
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,140
You're new.
190
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,441
How can you tell?
191
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,442
That's easy.
192
00:06:49,442 --> 00:06:50,543
You're vibrating.
193
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,380
Oh.
194
00:06:58,485 --> 00:06:59,753
Who's this?
195
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,087
Uh, this is Samantha.
196
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,122
Samantha, say hi to James.
197
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,089
Hi, James.
198
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,124
Hey.
199
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,158
So, what brings you here today?
200
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,961
Oh, uh, public intoxication,
201
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,296
destruction of
personal property,
202
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,630
almost blinding my coworker.
203
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,132
Being awesome.
204
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,133
Sounds epic.
205
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,035
I'm gonna go check in
206
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,403
with my harem of sponsees.
207
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,771
‐Excuse me.
‐Yeah, no, of course.
208
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,741
‐Great. (clears throat)
‐Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Mm‐hmm. Mm.
209
00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:24,210
All right, yo, so we can
keep our thing a secret,
210
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:25,445
unless you want
to talk about it,
211
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,447
or we can just pretend like
it never happened.
212
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,282
Talk about what?
213
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:30,750
Last Thanksgiving.
214
00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,789
Yikes.
You don't remember.
215
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,457
Oh, no.
216
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,593
What? There's a lot about the
last 12 years I don't remember.
217
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,795
Yeah, then forget about it.
218
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,263
Don't even worry...
I didn't say anything.
219
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,464
‐It's fine.
‐Forget about what?
220
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,467
Okay.
221
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,604
Last Thanksgiving, you and I
met at Good Time Sally's.
222
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:52,605
‐Met?
‐Yeah.
223
00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:54,407
We met at Good Time Sally's.
224
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,776
We met once on the bar,
225
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:58,278
and, uh, once in the bathroom.
226
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,513
‐Oh.
‐Okay, that's enough.
‐Yeah.
227
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:03,149
‐Go sit down.
‐Yeah. Nice to meet you, Sam.
228
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,321
Is that... is that something?
229
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,390
You guys gossip a lot
for a place
230
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:11,624
that's supposed to be anonymous.
231
00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,560
Um, can you please
232
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,296
sign this thing
that proves I was here?
233
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,732
Not 'till after the meeting,
I'm afraid. (chuckles)
234
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,134
‐Oh, that's, like, 45 minutes.
‐It's actually longer, 'cause
235
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,470
‐I like to schmooze afterwards.
‐Yeah, but I'm not one of them,
236
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:25,305
‐so...
‐No, but if you're ever looking
237
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:26,940
for more than a signature,
give me a call.
238
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,244
This is not something
you want to do alone.
239
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,046
I don't want to do this all.
240
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:35,648
♪ Watch your back, watch
your back, feel the contact ♪
241
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,584
♪ Can I get a boom,
can I get a boom, boom? ♪
242
00:08:37,584 --> 00:08:39,819
♪ Watch your back, watch
your back, feel the contact ♪
243
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,988
♪ Contact, contact,
give me room ♪
244
00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,157
♪ Turn me up, turn me up,
here we, here we go ♪
245
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,493
♪ First up to bat,
contact on a John Doe ♪
246
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,328
♪ Fresh fitted on the one‐two ♪
247
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,930
♪ Rhythm I jam on a fish stick,
played‐out gimmick... ♪
248
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:53,633
The prodigal daughter returns.
249
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:56,703
Wow. You actually learned
something in Catholic school?
250
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,104
Oh, I had one of the good ones.
251
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,473
‐Yes, you did.
‐Oh!
252
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,442
My beautiful Samantha.
253
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,977
‐Aah!
‐Aah! How've you been?
254
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:05,578
Ah, you know, my sister's
255
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,447
an asshole,
and Zack's a little TikTok star.
256
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,150
‐Wow, you're such a stage mom.
‐Yeah, but a hot stage mom.
257
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:11,885
(trills)
258
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,887
Tommy, two beers, two shots.
259
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,121
‐None for me, thanks.
‐Coming right up.
260
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,490
Oh, my Samantha is back in town.
261
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,726
We're gonna party like when
Tom was still with the Patriots.
262
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,594
Mm‐hmm. (laughs)
263
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:23,563
Oh, man.
264
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,964
Yeah, I can't.
265
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,399
You're Samantha Fink.
266
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,767
You're the Russian‐Jewish tank.
267
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,436
I know,
but I'm hanging up my jersey.
268
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:31,237
All right, suit yourself.
269
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,940
‐(short chuckle)
‐I'll have yours.
270
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,775
♪ On the mic I'm gonna
murder ya, tear you up... ♪
271
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,577
Ah.
272
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,612
♪ Until now, when I caught you ♪
273
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:41,114
♪ With the wild style,
twist, twist ♪
274
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:44,117
‐♪ When I diss on a chump. ♪
‐♪
275
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:48,455
All right, but stop me at two.
276
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:49,956
Yeah, for sure.
277
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,391
‐Two.
‐All right.
278
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,226
♪ That my friend,
she a real bad ... ♪
279
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,962
♪ Got her own money,
she don't need no ... ♪
280
00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:58,465
♪ On the dance floor,
she had two, three drinks ♪
281
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,734
♪ Now she twerkin', she throw it
out and come back in ♪
282
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,270
♪ That my best friend,
she a real bad ... ♪
283
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,474
You look so hot right now.
284
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,609
I know.
285
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,411
Yay!
286
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,279
‐♪ Beep‐beep ♪
‐(horn honks)
287
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,814
♪ Is that my bestie
in a Tessie? ♪
288
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,116
♪ Fresh blow out, skin on tan ♪
289
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,584
♪ Ooh, she ready ♪
290
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:18,985
♪ Best friend,
you my ... soulmate. ♪
291
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,454
You know,
292
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,157
they say the secret to sobriety
is one day at a time,
293
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:26,392
so, I'll just
start over tomorrow.
294
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,461
Tomorrow is a new day.
295
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:31,731
(both laughing)
296
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,869
SAMANTHA:
Backstabber.
297
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,938
How dare she show her face
in my bar.
298
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,208
Let's run her out.
299
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:45,411
All right. I'll try, but I ate
a lot of chicken parm.
300
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,614
Oh, you got to pace yourself.
301
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:50,750
Oh, my God. It's Sam.
302
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,218
Hey, Sam.
303
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,254
‐Hi. Nice hat.
‐Yeah.
304
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:55,755
‐Chantel forced me to wear this.
‐You and Joel
305
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,590
‐are getting married. Hmm.
‐Yeah. I didn't
306
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,292
‐want you to find out this way.
‐All right, don't be sorry.
307
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,294
Come on. You guys have
been together a long time.
308
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,664
This is, like, pretty
small‐town inevitable, right?
309
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,633
Yeah.
310
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,269
So do you guys want to, like,
hang out with us?
311
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,770
You can have some cake.
312
00:11:10,770 --> 00:11:13,273
Felicia, do you want
to have, uh, cake
313
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,775
with the gal
who's marrying my ex‐boyfriend?
314
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:17,610
(snorts, laughs)
315
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,445
‐Okay, Sam, you...
‐I would never have a slice
316
00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,915
of your skank cake.
(laughs)
317
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,083
‐Oh.
‐Uh, o‐okay.
318
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,586
All right, okay.
319
00:11:26,586 --> 00:11:28,288
Next time. Okay.
320
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,490
‐Boom, bitches.
‐Just stop. Look...
321
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:33,960
‐Give me five.
‐Oh.
322
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,628
‐Ah.
‐BRIT: Sam?
323
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,330
Hey. No, no, no, no.
Use this.
324
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:40,133
I don't need you spraying
all over the walls again.
325
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,535
Oh, that last time
was me, actually.
326
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,938
‐(laughing) You remember that?
‐Why are people like this?
327
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,640
Thank you.
Sam, how you feeling?
328
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,109
Can we help you?
329
00:11:50,109 --> 00:11:51,477
Can I just talk to Sam?
330
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,480
Would you like
to talk to her, Sam?
331
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,982
Yeah, why not?
332
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:59,052
All right. Fine.
333
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:02,055
I got to call my babysitter
anyway, so...
334
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,327
‐Oh.
‐Way too small of a target.
335
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,795
You know what I mean?
336
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:11,798
Samantha, you're back
from New York.
337
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,600
Oh, yeah.
(clears throat)
338
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,902
Living with Mom. We're like
Grey Gardens on acid, you know?
339
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,303
Oh, my God.
That sounds terrifying.
340
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,972
My baby asleep yet or what?
341
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,040
You have no idea.
342
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,076
So, rehab?
343
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,911
Oh.
(scoffs)
344
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,113
Yeah, that was just mandatory
so my office wouldn't sue.
345
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,648
You know, it wasn't a big deal.
346
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,316
And obviously
a huge waste of time,
347
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:33,219
because I can control
my drinking when I want to.
348
00:12:33,219 --> 00:12:35,989
Yeah, look, Sam, I just...
I want to say I'm sorry, okay?
349
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:39,492
You know, since you blocked me
on all social media.
350
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,160
Thought this was
my one chance and...
351
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,297
Are you sorry about the hat
or the marrying my ex?
352
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,732
I'm just a little confused.
353
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,400
You don't have to be a dick
about it.
354
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,269
You know Joel and I have been
together for a long time,
355
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,971
and you guys have been broken up
for a long time.
356
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,906
Sam, life moves forward
even if you don't.
357
00:12:53,906 --> 00:12:56,276
Oh, my God.
That was beautiful.
358
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,311
I got to get that
tattooed on butt.
359
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,913
Could you just not do the whole
victimy thing right now?
360
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,415
You know, this is exactly like
361
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,250
when I got first chair violin
and you got last.
362
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,919
Out of three violins.
363
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,821
Why do you keep
bringing that up?
364
00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,891
Okay, look, I just...
365
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,960
Everything's not always
about you.
366
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,429
I know things have been rough
since your dad passed away.
367
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,131
I really tried.
368
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,133
I came to New York to meet you
at that restaurant.
369
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,569
I sat there waiting for you
for two hours, eating edamame.
370
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,271
Like, so much edamame, because
371
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,707
I wanted to tell you
about this in person.
372
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:31,944
I am very sorry
about that, honestly.
373
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,914
‐I was very busy that day.
‐Oh, yeah?
374
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:37,417
‐Doing what?
‐Sorry. You're right.
375
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:41,921
I forgot. You're a doctor
who saves lives, so your life is
376
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,656
‐so much more important
‐Yeah. You know what,
‐All right over here?
377
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,159
‐than mine!
‐this is just like you.
‐Hey! What's going on?
378
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,294
‐Are we all right?
‐Everything's totally fine.
379
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,963
I actually have some
very important work to do
380
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:52,765
‐and some files and so on
and so forth.
‐All right.
381
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,768
So I'm gonna get to that, and
you ladies have a nice evening.
382
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,270
Oh, my God.
383
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:59,072
‐Oh, no. Sam. Hey, Sam. Sammy?
‐Oh, wait.
384
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:01,374
‐Sammy. Sammy, you can't drive.
‐No, Sam, I've got Lyft credits.
385
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,643
‐Sam, just, look.
‐Hey, Sam, Sam,
just take a Lyft, please.
386
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,312
I know you hate me. Just let me
take you home in the party bus.
387
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,247
‐Okay? It's right...
‐Yeah, well,
I don't know if you can
388
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:10,149
‐call it a party bus if
it doesn't have a stripper pole.
‐Sam...
389
00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:12,385
‐She's right.
‐(laughs)
390
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,654
Hey, Sam, no, no, look.
There‐There's no stripper pole,
391
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,556
but there‐there is a...
there is a disco ball.
392
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,324
‐Oh, you got one.
‐You love a disco ball.
393
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,326
Xander is 4.8 stars
and he's on his way.
394
00:14:20,326 --> 00:14:22,729
‐(engine starts)
‐Enough!
395
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,369
‐BRIT: Where is she going?
‐FELICIA: Well, at least
she's going slow.
396
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,971
‐(engine revs)
‐(tires squeal)
397
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,440
‐No, no, no, no, no, no!
‐Oh!
398
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,810
(screaming)
Samantha?!
399
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,647
‐You guys okay?
‐Yeah.
‐Yeah.
400
00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,653
♪
401
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:50,490
Here she is.
402
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,258
Thank you.
403
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:54,327
(clears throat)
404
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,963
‐Samantha, wake up.
‐(gasps) Who?
405
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,900
Huh? Oh.
406
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,771
‐How did you find me?
‐You don't remember
407
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,773
calling me last night,
scream‐crying?
408
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:08,608
You were in jail, they were
never going to let you out,
409
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,243
you needed
a fried chicken sandwich?
410
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,079
Mm‐hmm. Okay. Yeah.
I called the call.
411
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,748
(short chuckle)
Must have been really drunk.
412
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:18,651
Okay.
Yeah, I'll take this one.
413
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:20,253
(Samantha sighs)
414
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,255
Sweet.
415
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,294
You run a fine establishment
here, sir.
416
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,263
Thank you, officer.
417
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,034
So, what‐‐
you try to convert people
418
00:15:35,034 --> 00:15:36,469
when they're truly desperate?
419
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,105
Mm, it's the best time to do it.
420
00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,640
But if it makes you feel
any better,
421
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,775
‐I am already regretting
my decision.
‐Oh, no, no.
422
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,644
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
423
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,780
Seriously, uh, you're, like,
my last friend on Earth, so...
424
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,249
(laughs)
I am not your friend.
425
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,053
Right.
Of course not.
426
00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:57,056
‐Could you be my sponsor?
‐Oh, I don't know.
427
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,926
I have seven sponsees, but two
of them don't call me, so maybe.
428
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,628
Do you know what a sponsor does?
429
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,897
We get coffee and go shopping.
430
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,434
We get coffee,
and we talk about alcoholism.
431
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,204
You ready to do that?
432
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:13,439
I don't know what that is.
(short chuckle)
433
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,108
What am I supposed to do?
434
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:18,311
Just try to be a person.
435
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,079
Brush your teeth,
take a shower.
436
00:16:21,113 --> 00:16:22,415
You make your bed every day.
437
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:26,486
Is the make‐your‐bed thing
metaphorical,
438
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,955
or should I really do that?
439
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:31,657
‐You sure I can't just
stay with you?
‐I'm sure.
440
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,293
‐SAMANTHA:
I could sleep in your car.
‐Goodbye.
441
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:40,800
(door closes)
442
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,573
‐Oh, hello.
‐I know you're upset, Mom.
443
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,275
Oh, I'm just...
Sit down.
444
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:51,878
Yeah, I'm covered in, like,
50 kinds of urine
445
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,379
and every STD right now.
446
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,947
Okay, don't sit.
447
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,115
I know you're probably mad.
448
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,452
I'm not mad. (laughs)
449
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,120
I'm done.
450
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,256
Yeah.
No, I know, and I'm sorry,
451
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:04,957
but if you could just let me
explain to you what...
452
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,959
It's been 24 hours
since you left rehab.
453
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:09,128
You've already been arrested
for drunk driving
454
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,564
after totaling my car, so no.
455
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,065
Okay, so, I'm sitting
at the bar, right?
456
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:14,500
‐Oh, God.
‐Dead sober.
457
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,035
Swear to God
I could drive a school bus.
458
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,737
‐I'm really not. I'm just not.
‐But then Brit
459
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,805
‐walks in the door, okay?
‐Yeah?
460
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,574
‐And she's wearing
a veil on her head,
‐Okay.
461
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,143
because it's her
bachelorette party,
462
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:26,646
‐and she's marrying Joel.
‐I know.
463
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,214
I'm going to their wedding.
464
00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:31,551
‐Are you kidding me?
‐No. I've known Brit
465
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,119
‐since she was little.
‐Yes, Mother,
466
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,121
‐because she was my friend.
‐This isn't about Brit.
467
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:38,291
This is about you... growing up.
468
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,060
So, number one‐‐
469
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,796
you're gonna start
paying me rent
470
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,965
or find another place to live.
471
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,367
‐I just got out of rehab.
‐Yeah, and I spent
472
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,970
a lot of money for that place,
money that I was saving
473
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,573
for my neck lift, which now
I can't have because of you.
474
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,575
Where would you like me to go?
475
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:56,976
I don't have any money.
476
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,978
That is what my book group calls
477
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,615
not my problem.
So, you're gonna get a job,
478
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,083
and with that job,
you're gonna pay me rent.
479
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,624
I'm trying that
setting boundaries thing.
480
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,627
I think I'm quite good at it.
481
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,766
Oh, no,
you should keep the boat.
482
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,268
I don't know how
to drive a boat,
483
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:24,770
but it couldn't be that hard
to learn. (laughs)
484
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,773
Oh, um, look, o‐owning a boat
is not a real problem.
485
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,609
I got real problems,
and I got to go.
486
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,377
Yeah. Bye.
487
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:35,615
Sorry.
My sister is still "grieving."
488
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:39,552
So, your lucky streak continues.
489
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,621
‐That's funny.
I don't feel very lucky.
‐Oh.
490
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,222
Well, the judge
assigned to your case
491
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,924
approved
your pre‐trial probation.
492
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,459
‐And that means?
‐I mean,
493
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,961
I recommended
60 days of jail time.
494
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,731
‐What?
‐But with overcrowding
and good behavior,
495
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,466
it would have been,
like, two weeks.
496
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:57,136
But that judge‐‐
he overruled me.
497
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,905
So... so what is happening?
498
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,307
Oh, you're not going to jail.
499
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,209
‐Mm‐mmm.
‐Oh, my God.
500
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:05,611
No, no, no, no, no.
But over the next 12 months,
501
00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:09,548
you will need to complete
250 hours of community service,
502
00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:12,318
maintain your sobriety,
go to meetings,
503
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,453
and complete driver's ed,
because apparently,
504
00:19:14,453 --> 00:19:15,888
you can't drive
without getting drunk
505
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:18,457
and hitting large objects.
Just know
506
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,926
that if you make so much
as one slip‐up,
507
00:19:20,926 --> 00:19:22,662
you're going straight to jail.
508
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,430
So, stay on your path,
and your case will be dismissed
509
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:25,898
within the year.
It's your choice.
510
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:29,535
‐Seems easy enough.
‐(laughs) Oh, let's be honest.
511
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,771
You make it hard.
512
00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:38,811
OLIVIA:
Hi.
513
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:41,714
Uh, hi.
I have three days.
514
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,617
I want all the booze
and all the sex
515
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,886
and all the drugs
all at the same time.
516
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:48,387
(inhales)
517
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:50,156
You want to come in
for a cup of tea?
518
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:51,791
It's not blow,
but it's all I have.
519
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,159
Oh, that's all right.
520
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,794
I only do coke
to help me drink more.
521
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,738
SAMANTHA:
Come on. Are serious?
522
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:08,240
Way to bury the lead.
523
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:11,043
‐What?
‐I'm Olivia Elliot,
524
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,813
and this is...
Off Our Docs.
525
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,715
You're a listener?
(chuckles)
526
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,383
Big‐time.
Big‐time listener.
527
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,784
‐Yeah.
‐Wow.
528
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:20,453
I can't believe
you're an alcoholic.
529
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,589
Anyone can be an alcoholic.
It's a disease.
530
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:26,826
Yeah.
I just meant, like,
531
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,828
this is a lot of stuff
to get while you're drinking.
532
00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,162
Oh, I didn't get it
while I was drinking.
533
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,131
I've been sober
for ten years.
534
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:35,101
But the cash and prizes
don't all come at once, so,
535
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,369
don't call me next week asking
me where your mortgage is.
536
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:40,773
I won't.
Don't even have a job.
537
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:46,112
Um, my sponsee, Mindy‐‐
she manages Giovanni's Market.
538
00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:48,781
I know she'd been looking
for a cashier.
539
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,784
Wow. Okay. Got it.
540
00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:55,955
Okay. Cashier
and then Peabody and then
541
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,289
‐Okay.
‐sick house.
542
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,258
‐And then, awesome paint colors.
‐Yeah,
543
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,860
let's just worry
about getting the job first
544
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:02,394
and let your higher power
take care of the rest.
545
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,465
I knew it was a cult.
546
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,800
CAROL:
So, Giovanni's.
547
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,103
‐Yup.
‐I'm proud of you.
548
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:13,105
Definitely did not think
you could do it.
549
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,709
I'm really sorry
for crashing your car.
550
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,911
Don't be dramatic.
It was 12 years old.
551
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,780
They don't even make parts
for it anymore,
552
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,282
so what are you gonna do?
553
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,417
‐What are you doing?
‐What?
554
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:27,453
Thought you could have
one glass of wine.
555
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,088
No. No, I can't.
556
00:21:29,088 --> 00:21:31,223
Unfortunately,
that's not how it works.
557
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:33,159
I can do this, though, right?
558
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,927
That's okay?
559
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,296
Yeah. Yeah, you can do
whatever you want, Mom.
560
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:39,298
Phew! (laughs)
561
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,567
Not that it's a big deal
or anything.
562
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,402
Yeah, well, it turns out,
I can't.
563
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,037
Apparently,
alcoholism is a disease,
564
00:21:45,037 --> 00:21:48,808
and, uh... boy, do I have it.
565
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,577
Did you just say
you have a disease?
566
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:54,079
‐Mom...
‐You don't have a disease.
567
00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:56,315
I know
what a disease looks like.
568
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:59,418
‐Leukemia, for one.
‐Right. Yeah. Look,
569
00:21:59,418 --> 00:22:00,920
I'm sorry. I wasn't
trying to bring up Dad.
570
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,454
‐I really...
‐A disease is
571
00:22:02,454 --> 00:22:05,157
when you can't walk
from your bed to the bathroom.
572
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,459
Right.
I hear you.
573
00:22:07,459 --> 00:22:09,495
Seriously. I was just
trying to say that, like,
574
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,297
it's recognized as a disease.
575
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:14,133
You can... you can look it up,
but that's all.
576
00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:16,268
If you want
to call yourself sick,
577
00:22:16,268 --> 00:22:18,604
call yourself sick.
578
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:22,208
But don't judge me
for having some wine at night,
579
00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:25,811
because everybody wants
to have some wine at night.
580
00:22:25,811 --> 00:22:28,047
It's hard to be a person.
581
00:22:29,114 --> 00:22:31,283
SAMANTHA:
Just doing the best
that I can.
582
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:36,088
CAROL:
I'm sure you are, and welcome.
583
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:38,123
The rest of us have been
doing the best we can
584
00:22:38,123 --> 00:22:40,993
the whole time
you've been drinking.
585
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,967
‐Hey, hey. You okay?
‐What?
586
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:50,436
‐No. Jesus.
‐What...
587
00:22:50,436 --> 00:22:53,138
‐What happened?
‐Didn't know
there'd be so much...
588
00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:54,940
stuff and feelings or whatever.
589
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:57,643
No, no, no, that's the worst
part by, like, a long shot.
590
00:22:57,643 --> 00:22:59,645
It's just, like,
a bunch of garbage people
591
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,780
giving me garbage advice.
I don't need that.
592
00:23:01,780 --> 00:23:04,049
I could just keep doing
exactly what I'm doing,
593
00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:06,252
and‐and one day write
an autobiography of a trash bag,
594
00:23:06,252 --> 00:23:10,122
featuring me,
because I am an expert.
595
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:11,757
You know, like,
I'm one of them.
596
00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:14,927
So I'm gonna be real.
Uh, that's a terrible idea.
597
00:23:14,927 --> 00:23:16,428
You shouldn't write that.
That's a bad book.
598
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,430
‐That's a real bad book.
‐(sighs)
599
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,469
I do remember you.
600
00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:25,804
‐Sure you do.
‐No, I do.
601
00:23:25,804 --> 00:23:27,606
I kept calling you
the Winklevoss Twins
602
00:23:27,606 --> 00:23:29,942
‐because you code?
‐And that never
made sense because
603
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,777
‐that's two white guys.
‐To be fair,
604
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,612
you kept calling me
Norah Jones.
605
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,381
But do you see
how that's not two people?
606
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:38,050
‐I do.
‐Yeah.
607
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:40,386
(laughs)
608
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,488
I'll see you in there, yeah?
609
00:23:48,627 --> 00:23:50,629
("Sharpener's Calling Me Again"
by Cavetown playing)
610
00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:02,441
♪ Sharpener's calling me
again... ♪
611
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,109
You okay?
612
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,111
Nope.
613
00:24:06,111 --> 00:24:09,982
♪ Something I can draw ♪
614
00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:12,985
♪ Into my skin ♪
615
00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:19,792
♪ Why am I ashamed ♪
616
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,994
♪ To look ♪
617
00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:25,464
♪ The way I do? ♪
618
00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:28,634
♪ All 'cause an escape ♪
619
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:30,269
♪ To me ♪
620
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:33,272
♪ Was just a sharpener ♪
621
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:36,442
♪ To you. ♪
622
00:24:36,442 --> 00:24:39,445
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
623
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,158
OLIVIA: In the beginning,
your body's like, don't drink.
624
00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,126
I want to drink.
Don't drink.
625
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:55,260
I want to drink.
‐ What do I do?
626
00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:56,395
Don't drink.
627
00:24:56,462 --> 00:24:58,063
Now, boy.
628
00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,366
You're still here.
629
00:25:00,366 --> 00:25:01,734
Fairly impressed with myself.
630
00:25:01,734 --> 00:25:02,634
Look, you want me out.
631
00:25:02,634 --> 00:25:03,635
I want to be out.
632
00:25:03,635 --> 00:25:04,903
Don't rush it.
633
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:08,207
So what is the usual time
frame for being recovered?
634
00:25:08,207 --> 00:25:09,241
[singing]
635
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:10,976
Well, don't wake up
from a nightmare.
636
00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:12,978
SAMANTHA: She's marrying my ex.
637
00:25:12,978 --> 00:25:13,912
Is she serious?
638
00:25:13,912 --> 00:25:14,813
Sam.
639
00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,882
Sam, what are you doing here?
640
00:25:16,882 --> 00:25:18,384
I might be broken now.
641
00:25:18,384 --> 00:25:19,651
‐ Give me a twirl.
‐ Oh, God.
642
00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:20,552
[singing]
643
00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,087
Go to a new space.
644
00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,989
Show up for the people
that matter, and they
645
00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:25,257
will start showing up for you.
646
00:25:25,257 --> 00:25:26,725
Are you apologizing to me?
647
00:25:26,725 --> 00:25:27,926
I have to take the blame.
648
00:25:27,926 --> 00:25:29,461
You have some, I get some.
649
00:25:29,461 --> 00:25:30,896
Don't be a blame hog.
650
00:25:30,896 --> 00:25:32,398
Glad I remembered you.
651
00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:34,166
Me, too.
652
00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:35,234
No can we‐‐
653
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:37,369
Ah, really?
654
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,205
CAROL: You don't know what
you're capable of now.
655
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,641
Yes, my Jewish Jaguar.
656
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:45,210
To us‐‐ there is bar
flowing in the streets
657
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,211
and none of it is ours.
658
00:25:46,211 --> 00:25:47,312
Amen.
659
00:25:47,312 --> 00:25:49,081
NARRATOR: Freeform's
Single Drunk Female now
660
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:49,114
streaming new episodes Fridays.