- Look who is up.
I thought you were gonna sleep all morning.
Vamos.
Agua de Jamaica.
- Gracias, mija. - Where have you been lately?
I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.
- I have been here. It's you that's been busy.
- No more than usual.
- Oh, you have your new friend. - Ruby?
She's more of a close colleague than a friend.
- Hmm. - What?
- [laughs] Everyone needs friends, Elena.
- Well, I'm not everyone.
Besides, I have friends. What are you talking about?
I have you. I have Mr. Jones.
You know, I am all good in the friends department.
But thank you for your concern.
Hey, are you coming?
- No, Mr. Jones. - No, he's not.
- Now, who's on the agenda for today?
- Well, three high school friends
here to celebrate their 50th birthdays.
- Oh! Well, 50 is a big one.
Yes, I was traumatized by that number.
- Oh. [both laugh]
- I thought it was the end of the line.
Once you hit 75, though, 50-year-olds look like kids.
[both laugh]
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
- Morning. - Hi.
- Is he blushing? - Oh.
- Ah, look at that water!
Oh, I need a photo. Where's my phone?
- Oh, my God. Would you look at this place?
- Wait, there are no kids here!
I don't see any kids. - Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, how cute is this?
- Oh, Javi! - Hmm.
- Can I call you that? - Yes, Jeanette.
- Call me Netty. Can you take our picture?
- Oh, Javi.
- You guys, I'm serious, there are no kids here.
- Oh, God, Margot's in shock.
Somebody get her a mojito, stat!
- Girls, pose, ready? One, two, three.
both: Sex! - Oh, what's that?
[laughter]
- Ladies, welcome to Fantasy Island.
I'm your host Elena Roarke.
This is my associate Ruby.
And I can see you've been acquainted with Javier.
- On behalf of all of us,
I'd like to wish you a happy collective birthday.
It's gonna be one to remember, I promise.
- We are so excited. Aren't we, girls?
- Ecstatic.
- Amazing. Let's get started. Come on.
- Oh, can we just--one second.
We just need to christen the island.
- They need to what? - I'm not too sure.
- Okay, great. Places, girls.
[upbeat music plays]
[laughter] - We're doing this, I guess.
- Okay. - Five, six, seven, eight.
Whoo! - Oh.
You know what we need? A girls' night.
- A what? - A girls' night.
What, have you ever had a girls' night?
You know, giving each other spa treatments.
- No, that doesn't sound like me at all.
I wouldn't like it.
- Oh, we're having a girls' night.
I'm not going through my 20s again
without getting drunk off box wine
and waking up to a bad manicure.
- Why would anyone want to do that?
Please. - Because it's fun!
- Okay. Okay.
- And pose!
- Oh, yes! [laughter]
[dreamy music]
♪ ♪
- I'm that girl: homecoming queen
who married her king right out of high school.
- Everyone wants me to freak out about turning 50.
But I refuse to. I'm doing great.
- So yeah, I had triplets at 47,
Beatrice, Miranda,
and, uh...
Cordelia.
- We did the whole thing:
house in the suburbs, two kids.
It was the perfect life. - Was?
- About two years ago, I found some weird receipts.
And one clue led to another led to the mistress.
- You know, they used to burn women like me.
Childless, unmarried, smart.
A woman who doesn't need a man to self-actualize
is a threat to the status quo.
Well, I say, good. Let 'em come for me.
- And now I'm turning 50,
and I'm filling out dating profiles
and trying not to drink every day.
- You know, when they graduate high school,
I'm gonna be 65 years old.
65!
- Margot was drowning in newborns
when Netty's husband left her.
- Did I mention she lives on a houseboat?
- We were all in shock.
- The mistress. - Perfect Netty.
- I mean, what the-- - And poor Margot.
- What if I made a mistake?
- I'd been telling her, just wait.
The urge to breed will pass,
and you can move on with your life.
- Having children. - Oh, you didn't.
Honey, you're just tired of taking care of everyone.
- I almost had her convinced,
but then Netty used the line on her.
- What line? - Life begins at mother.
I truly believe that. My children are my world.
- Netty just made it look so easy.
And she wasn't the only one.
The whole entire world makes you feel
like you're not a whole woman unless you mom it up.
So Gary and I did IVF, and we had the worst luck.
I mean, just failure after failure.
And in the last round, we implanted three embryos.
Plot twist, they all stuck.
- So tell me, what can the island do for you?
- I want to be swept off my feet
by a hot, successful man who adores me.
- Mm.
- I'm not asking for love,
just to set a bar
as, like, practice
for when I get back out there.
- I'm happy,
and I'm so lucky to be where I am in my life.
I've got great friends
that I get to turn 50 with on a beautiful island.
Honestly, I'm good.
- Well, there must be something that you've always wanted.
- Well, there is one thing.
- I love my children more than anything in the whole world.
But I'm tired all the time.
Like, soul-crushing, down to the bone exhausted.
- My fantasy is boring. It is.
It's just...a little rest.
- Well, Cam and Netty, they are getting settled in their rooms.
And you, Margot, are gonna come with me.
Your fantasy begins now.
- Bye. - Bye.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- What is this place? I feel so much lighter here.
- This is your sanctuary.
In this place, no one can disturb you.
You can rest for as long as you like.
- But what about the birthday dinner?
I mean, that's the whole reason we're here.
I can't miss that. - Oh, no, it's okay.
Time moves nice and slowly here.
Cam and Netty will be waiting for you
as if no time has passed at all.
- You can do that?
- I promise you won't miss a thing.
After you wake up, you can go back to your room at the resort
and get dressed up for dinner with the girls.
But for now,
all you have to do is rest.
♪ ♪
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
♪ ♪
- Cam, it's me. Open up.
- Um, I'm not decent!
- You sound weird. You okay? - Mm-hmm.
- I'm sure you look gorgeous in your bathing suit.
Body positivity is all the rage right now.
Okay, I'll be at the pool.
Didn't expect to spend my first day alone,
but whatever.
♪ ♪
Oh! - Whoa!
- Sorry, I-- - [chuckles]
- Hi.
- You all right? - Um, yes.
Yes, I am. - You sure?
I'm a doctor, in case, you know--
- Of course you are. - Huh.
- Tell me more.
♪ ♪
Well, I met him. - Who?
- My fantasy man, Dr. Tristan Alexander.
- Oh. - You look amazing, by the way.
- Oh, thank you, I slept for what felt like a week.
What is today?
- The day I moved on with my life.
- Oh, Netty, I'm so happy.
- Is that Cam's room?
- Netty, Margot.
- Hi? - Do you like my new look?
- Is that-- - Are you--
- In the flesh!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[hisses]
- Cam? - Cam?
- It's me! - Wow.
- We are gonna have so much fun this weekend.
Ahh!
- Oh, my God, this dress.
- This is just too much! - Oh, look at this one.
[gasps] Oh.
I cannot wait to dress this body up.
- Now that is the spirit.
And we even got customized perfumes
made just for you.
- Be careful. We may never leave.
- I don't blame you.
Oh, and also, ladies,
so your private beach dinner starts at 8:00.
And may I suggest some drinks at the bar beforehand?
- [yawning] Yeah, we'll be there.
Sorry.
- Margot, would you like me to walk you
to your resting place before dinner?
- Oh, no, no, no. I'll perk up.
Sorry. All right, enjoy, ladies.
- Thank you. - Yes.
- Thank you.
- Can you believe this? Look.
Look at me.
Oh, wow,
look at these...boobs.
- You're smoking hot.
- I had no idea anything like this was ever possible.
- It's completely bizarre.
- Can I feel them? - Yes.
[laughter]
- They feel like beefsteak tomatoes or something.
- They are. Nette, you want a grope?
- I'm good. - [laughs]
- Mm, Netty, tell us more about the doctor--
- Tristan Alexander.
- Yeah. - Tristan.
- He's a plastic surgeon.
And before you say anything, he does reconstruction,
burn victims, cancer patients, that type of thing.
He has the most prestigious practice in San Francisco.
And when I told him we were celebrating a big birthday,
he thought I was 40.
- Did he? Is he cute?
- Um, very.
- Do you think he's a real doctor?
- Do you think he's a real person?
- Yeah.
- Oh, he's a real person, all right.
He gave me his card.
Look.
[upbeat music]
- Oh, post-surgical reconstruction.
- Yeah.
- So, girls, what do you think about this dress?
- It's tight. - It's stunning.
- Yeah, and it is very vixen next door.
Right? I'm going for it.
You guys, we are gonna have the best weekend ever.
♪ ♪
[laughter]
- So cute.
Nothing like a night out with the girls,
or a night in.
- Okay, look,
I am willing to entertain this girls' night thingy...
- Okay. - But I'm planning it.
- Okay. - No manicures.
And absolutely no box wine.
Okay, we're doing this, we're gonna do it my way.
- [laughs]
Elena, I feel like I just need to stress
that fun is the goal here.
- Oh, oh, it's gonna be a lot of fun.
You've never had fun like this before.
Tomorrow night, 7:00 sharp.
Mm. Don't be late.
- Okay, great. - Okay.
[laughter]
- I think what irks me the most about Paul's mistress is,
she's not even hot.
- That's what irks you the most?
- You know, deep down, he always knew
you were too good for him. [phone chimes]
- That's true. - Look.
Look what Gary sent. Aren't they just too adorable?
- Oh, Margot, stop. - So cute.
- They are so perfect. - What's this?
- Three lemon drops,
courtesy of the gentlemen at the bar.
- Oh, what?
- Thank you.
- All right, well, that makes three free rounds
courtesy of my amazing tatas!
- Well, you're gonna have to put on a cardigan,
'cause I'm gonna be too wasted to eat dinner, seriously.
- Ladies, a toast to divorce
and naps and amazing boobs.
And to at least 50 more years of friendship.
- Oh, cheers. - Cheers.
- Yes. - Yes.
- Ladies, I see you're enjoying yourselves, huh?
- Mmm.
- Join us. - Come sit down.
- Join us. - Okay.
- Are you kidding me? This is the best vacation--
- And weirdest. - We have ever been on.
Oh, thank you so very much.
- Now this is getting ridiculous.
- Okay, ignore her.
Netty is used to being the center of attention.
This must be awful for her.
- Oh, my God. Get over yourself.
- Okay, here, here. Have a shot with us.
- Oh, no, I shouldn't.
I'm still on the clock. Thank you.
- So, Elena, you are totally gorgeous.
Is there a man in your life? - Yeah, that's a good question.
How does somebody do what you do and find a date?
- I'm not looking. - So you're taken?
- I am married to my work.
- I mean, what is she supposed to write on her Tinder profile?
"Gorgeous brunette, runs magical island, bends reality."
- No, she'd say,
"Makes all your wildest fantasies come true."
- Oh, imagine the kind of creeps that would attract.
- Yeah. - That's true.
- You know, I think I'm gonna take that shot.
Salud, ladies.
- Salud. - Salud.
- Whoo-hoo!
- Mm. - So...
- Oh. - Another?
Okay, we got this.
- Elena, don't leave us hanging.
- Another one?
Thank you. - Okay.
I have a question about Dr. Love.
- Oh, well, why don't you ask him yourself?
[tense music]
- Did you invite him to our birthday dinner?
- Oh, so you get to enjoy your fantasy tonight,
but not me?
- Hey, you. - Hi.
♪ ♪
- You ladies look lovely. - Thank you, Tristan.
- You know, your beach table is about to be ready shortly.
Would you like me to set another place?
- That would be lovely. Thank you.
- Mm.
Oof, okay.
- So you're a doctor?
- [humming]
- [laughs]
- Oh, Javier!
- Elena. - Hi.
- Are you drunk?
- [laughing] No.
My job occasionally requires me to imbibe with the guests,
but I don't get drunk.
- My mistake. - Yeah.
Javier, are we--are we friends?
- Of course we're friends. What kind of question is that?
- We had...
[whispers] Sex.
Doesn't that fundamentally change
the nature of the relationship
to something other than a friendship?
- Ah. Okay. - You know?
- Hey, hey, listen, okay? - Yeah.
- This is important. - Okay.
- No matter what happened or happens between us,
I'm always gonna be your friend.
[soft music]
- Come here. Good, good, good, good.
Because I don't have many friends, and...
and you're a good man, and you're quite handsome
and dimple-y, you know--
- Okay, okay.
- Mm. - Good night, friend.
♪ ♪
- Wha--
Oh.
♪ ♪
- Are we really supposed to stand for this?
Margot, it's our birthday dinner.
- She's been through a lot, Cam.
- And I haven't? God.
Tristan, hi.
Um, so listen, I hope you don't mind,
but this birthday dinner is literally
why we came to this island,
and we were really hoping to celebrate it
just the three of us together as lifelong friends.
You know what I mean? - Cam!
- God, I am so sorry. - It's okay. No.
- I got so caught up in Jeanette's beauty,
I've forgotten my manners.
- No, Tristan, it's fine. We'd love to have you.
- No, no, it's your big night. I'll see you tomorrow.
Horseback riding on the beach, yeah?
- Yeah. - You ladies have fun tonight.
- Kay, good night. - Thank you for understanding.
Okay.
- What the hell was that? - I thought I was pretty clear.
- And thanks for standing up for me.
- Wait, listen, I just want a relaxing dinner, okay?
'Cause we've had a lot to drink on empty stomachs.
- Margot, why are you always making excuses for her?
- I'm not.
- Inviting that boy toy to our 50th birthday dinner
was messed up, and you know it.
- Guys.
- And who invited you? - What?
- You're the real stranger here.
This whole trip was tainted the minute you decided
to turn into whoever the hell this is.
Do you really hate yourself that much, Cam?
- Oh, screw you, Netty!
- Guys, we have to eat
before we say things we're gonna regret.
- Okay, choose a side or stay out of this, Switzerland.
- What are you talking about? - Stop mothering us.
- I thought "life began at mother."
- What? - Nothing.
- No, if you have something to say to me, spit it out.
- Oh, Netty, please.
You have lorded your perfect life
over both of us for years.
And now that it has come crashing down,
you expect us to act
as if you are the only person in the world that is hurting.
Now, Margot here, she is a good person,
and she would never admit it,
but she resents the hell out of you
for talking her into having kids!
- Hey, I can fight my own battles, Cam.
- Oh, since when?
- Yeah, you constantly underestimate her.
- I don't resent having kids. - I didn't say that.
- You did, but you could have been a little less pushy.
- Yeah. - What?
I didn't force you to implant three embryos.
And, Cam, whoever you are, how about you stop projecting?
Margot and I chose motherhood.
And the only person who apparently resents that is you.
- [laughs] No, girls, no. I am free.
And I don't need a man or screaming triplets
to validate my existence in this life.
I am happy just the way I am.
- Oh, clearly.
- God.
Thanks for saying how you really feel, Cam!
- Thanks for having my back, Margot!
And happy fricking birthday!
Ugh!
[birds chirping]
[somber acoustic music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ Maybe you'll hang it up ♪
♪ Think you've got nothing left to say ♪
♪ So tired ♪
♪ So tired of going on this way ♪
♪ Keep digging deeper ♪
♪ 'Cause nobody knows ♪
♪ So close ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause you're worth more than you know ♪
♪ So close ♪
♪ So far ♪
♪ Just a step away from gold ♪
♪ Don't slow down, follow your star ♪
♪ Oh ♪
- Penny for your thoughts?
- Oh, I'm good.
I don't want to ruin the mood.
- There is no mood if you're not a part of it.
Easy, girl.
There you go.
Here, let me help you.
- Ooh. Oh. [laughs]
[sighs]
Things got a little ugly last night after you left.
- I knew I shouldn't have come. - No.
No, it's not you.
It's us.
My divorce changed our whole dynamic.
Suddenly, it's "gang up on Netty" time.
Why do people feel compelled to kick you while you're down?
- Is that how you see yourself?
- You're kidding, right?
- Well, sounds like your marriage wasn't working
for a long time.
And now you're free.
Kids are away at college. World's your oyster.
- I'm allergic to shellfish. - Hmm.
[both laugh]
Come on, there's gotta be something
that you've just been just dying to do.
- I...I used to paint. [chuckles]
- How about travel?
Or a new career, maybe?
What did you do before you were married?
- [laughs]
You ask a lot of questions, don't you?
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Just want to get to know you.
- There are a lot of other ways to get to know someone.
Right now, what I really need is to get out of my head.
♪ ♪
- And into this? - Now you're talking.
♪ ♪
- I don't mean to bother you. - You're not a bother, Margot.
- Ugh, things are a mess with my friends, okay?
We had a huge fight, and everyone's upset,
and I was just hoping you could help me
figure out a way to fix it.
- That would be nice, wouldn't it,
to be able to fix other people's problems?
- Isn't that kind of your specialty?
- I just lay the chessboard,
and everyone has to play their own game.
You know, Margot, you came here with a fantasy of your own.
Maybe you should worry less about your friends
and go get the rest you need.
- You're right. I know you're right.
Okay, I'll take a nice long nap.
[upbeat tropical music]
[laughs]
Thank you.
Mmm.
I'm so sorry about-- - I was a bitch last night.
- No, you weren't. - I definitely was.
Thank you. - Thanks.
- Listen, I don't blame you for the triplets, okay?
- No, I get it.
And I had it easy with mine,
and I was in my 20s.
- What I wouldn't give.
- Right? - Mm.
So how was horseback riding with Dr. Sexy?
- Good. Annoying.
He wanted to know all about me. - How awful.
- So I suggested an alternate activity.
- I want to hear about that. [laughs]
- I will tell all if you finally fess up
about what happened between you and that hot neighbor
you had back in the early '90s.
- Motorcycle Jake? - Yes!
- I'll never tell. - [laughs]
Hmm.
- So we need to plan a dinner do-over tonight, okay?
Just the three of us.
- I think Cam and I could use a break.
- No, no, you have to make up.
And you were really hard on her last night.
- I'm sick of her casting me as the villain.
- I know. But she really needs this.
So just cut her a break, okay? For me?
- If you make a reservation, I'll show up.
But I won't like it.
- Thank you.
Good.
- Cheers. This is good. - Mmm.
♪ ♪
- Hey. - Hi.
- Camille, right? - Yeah. Can I come in?
I know this might sound weird,
but I feel like I was meant to find you.
- Yeah, come on in. - Thank you.
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- Okay, wine in a bottle, not a box.
- Good. Thank you, Ruby. - Yes.
And look, I know you said no manicures,
so I brought facial masks.
So I got chamomile, mango lime, chocolate--
- Okay, actually, we're playing Spades.
Do you know it?
- Enough to know it takes four players.
- Okay. Ah, honorary fourth girl.
- Hola. - Hi.
Okay, so we're going untraditional.
- Mm-hmm. - Well, who's the third?
- Hi, Ruby.
- Oh, hi. Hi. Gina.
- Let the girls' night begin.
- Okay, now this one says it's nice and moisturizing.
- Mmm, it smells like cotton candy.
- I know, right? It's good.
- Feels good. - Good, right?
- Mm-hmm. - Okay, you're next!
- No, I'm not wearing any of those.
- What?
- You all look like you are in a horror movie.
Okay? No.
Okay, so are we playing Spades or not?
- I mean, we could, it's just it's not
a traditional girls' night activity.
- Mm-hmm.
Now, horror films are totally girls' night.
We could watch a slasher.
- I don't have a TV.
[speaking Spanish]
- Okay, fine.
What are my other options?
- Well, in my day, we'd talk about
what boys we had crushes on.
- Or girls.
- Well, not back then.
But, I mean, now, I don't see why not.
- Elena, she doesn't have time for love.
- Well, I don't know.
I've seen some glances between her and Javier.
- And Javier? - Mm-hmm.
- No, no, no!
No looks and no crushes, okay? No.
- No looks, no crushes. Got it.
- Mm-hmm.
So there's been no one since your fiancé James?
[sexy music]
- You know, this place
doesn't leave room for anybody
or time for other people.
And my great uncle, he dedicated his entire being
to this island, and now that's my job.
- Hmm.
But you miss him, though? - My great uncle?
Yeah, of course. He was a very wise man.
- No, James.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Yeah. Every day.
- Elena,
you just girl-talked!
- I did? - Well done.
[laughter] - Yeah!
[laughter]
- Bartender had a heavy pour.
[laughs] - Yeah, I got you, honey.
- Thank you so much.
- Bitch.
- Netty, wait. - What's wrong with you?
- We just saw you coming out of Tristan's room.
What-- - No. No, no, no, Netty--
- After all I've been through,
I finally find a teeny bit of happiness,
and why are you deliberately trying to hurt me?
- Netty, please, can you just entertain the concept
that not everything is about you?
- Oh, oh, Netty, you should hear her out.
This is important. - No, I'm done.
- Ladies, good evening.
I regret to inform you
that we have a "no fighting after 9:00 p.m." policy.
- That's fine. I'm going to bed.
- No, not yet, I'm afraid. Stand there, please.
Thank you.
[tense music]
It's a shame to see you like this
when you have so little time left with each other.
- What do you mean?
What the hell is this?
Roarke?
- She said that we only have a little bit of time
with each other.
Do you think that's one of us?
♪ ♪
- It's me. It's me, isn't it?
- Why would you think that? - Just open it.
Go open it.
- Netty, come help.
♪ ♪
- [gasps]
- Well, you said you wanted rest.
♪ ♪
- It's me. I'm still young.
[soft music]
♪ ♪
- Is that me?
- I look weird. Why do I look so weird?
- Seems the poster child for self-actualization
went a little overboard on the filler.
Gee, I wonder who the surgeon was.
- Oh, look, you're with Paul.
Seems defining yourself by someone
other than the man you're with isn't as easy as it seems.
- I don't do that.
We probably just came together.
♪ ♪
- Looks pretty cozy to me.
- Well, it beats dying alone with my cat.
- At least my cat isn't sleeping with a skank
who lives on a houseboat.
- Just shut up!
I'm dead!
You guys can't stop arguing for five seconds.
It's been like this since high school.
I'm tired of being your mediator.
You two are your own problem now.
♪ ♪
I can't be here.
Was that real?
- As of this moment, yeah. - Well, change it.
I can't leave my kids without a mom.
And I don't want to die. Okay, please.
I will do anything. - It's not up to me, Margot.
Remember, I just lay the chessboard.
Your fate is entirely in your hands.
You came to Fantasy Island looking for the time
and the space to rest,
and you're barely taking advantage of that.
- Well, my friends needed me. - Did they?
- Yes, yes. They have since high school.
- And if you were to just leave them alone
and take care of your own needs for a while,
what are you afraid would happen?
- I don't know, but they would implode.
- And you feel that way
about every single obligation in your life?
- Maybe.
How do I die?
- I don't know exactly.
I assume that you neglect yourself
in order to make other people happy,
which is a-- it's a lovely characteristic.
♪ ♪
- Until it isn't.
- Yeah.
[smooth music]
♪ ♪
- Mm-hmm, I know this one.
- Oh, I like a girl with a sophisticated taste in music.
- Well, I grew up in a musical family,
so--but how about you?
- I'm just an old soul, I guess.
Now, they don't make them like this anymore.
- Mm-mm. [laughs]
♪ ♪
- You know, do you think I upset Elena before,
you know, asking about James?
- She can handle it.
You know, I've known Elena for a long time,
and you being here has been really good for her.
- Really? - Yeah.
You know, when she called me up to come here for girls' night,
I thought she was messing with me.
- You know, I didn't think she would agree to it, honestly.
- [laughing] That's what I mean.
You've been a great influence on her, Ruby,
and on all of us.
♪ ♪
- Thank you.
- So what do you want to do now?
We could put Segundo's hand in a bowl of warm water.
[both laugh]
- As tempting as that is,
I'd like to keep dancing.
I mean, if you do.
♪ ♪
- Why did you think it was you in the casket?
- Forget it.
- Is there something wrong?
Is that why you wanted a different body?
- I thought it came back.
- Thought what came back?
- Netty, I didn't go see Tristan
because I wanted to sleep with him.
I was hoping he could help me.
- Help you with what?
- I had cancer, Nette.
[somber music]
♪ ♪
- You had cancer?
When? Are you okay?
Why am I just hearing about this now?
- No, I'm fine.
They caught it with surgery,
except they screwed up on the reconstruction part,
and now I need more surgery.
I tried to tell you, though. I did.
But you were going through your divorce when we talked,
and you never let me get a word in.
- So you didn't tell me you had cancer?
- I tried.
- Well, how about grabbing me by the shoulders
and screaming it in my face?
I know I'm self-obsessed, Cam, but I'm your best friend.
- Netty, I just didn't want you to pity me.
You already think of me
as the lonely, loveless cat lady.
I couldn't handle being the lonely, loveless cat lady
with breast cancer on top of it.
- Oh, Cam, that is so not how I see you.
I know, talk about lonely and loveless.
I made my life seem perfect,
but trust me, the honeymoon was over years ago.
You have no idea, do you,
how jealous I have always been of you?
- What? Come on.
- Cam, you are magnetic. You are beautiful.
You live life on your own terms.
You see something you want, and you go get it.
[soft music]
You were right when you said that I need a man to define me.
And I'm 50 years old.
I have no idea what I want or who I am,
and that's absolutely terrifying.
And that's why this whole thing breaks my heart
because the real you is so awesome.
And it makes me angry to think
that you need this body to be happy.
- Netty, do you remember how you felt
when you found out about Paul's affair?
- Yeah, I'd like to forget, but yeah, angry, betrayed.
- Yeah, that's how I feel about my body now.
I had this great life.
♪ ♪
And my body betrayed me.
And I just wanted out.
- You wanted to divorce your body?
- I did. Yeah, just for a few days.
I just wanted to feel whole again.
And I miss my boobs.
- They were great boobs. - They really were.
[both laugh]
- I'm just so glad we didn't lose you, Cam.
I don't want to grow old without you.
- Me neither.
♪ ♪
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.
♪ ♪
- Yes, hi.
I would like to make an appointment with Dr. Schwartz.
As soon as possible, please.
Claire, it's Margot Shear. Good.
I was wondering if I could get the number
of that trainer-nutritionist woman you were raving about.
Gary, it's me.
I'm sending you an article. Read it.
It's about the mental load of parenting.
I'm gonna need you to pick up 50% of this.
You can choose which half, but it's happening.
June, this is Margot.
I'm gonna need an assistant, and this is not a negotiation.
Assistant or I quit.
Set reminder. Put yourself first.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
[gasps]
You're back. - And here to stay.
Just like you. - Oh.
- I don't want to see you in a coffin again.
- Okay. - I'm sorry.
We were selfish jerks. - Horrid. Awful.
- Inconsiderate and self-centered.
- Guys, it was the wakeup call I needed.
- We're gonna do this more often.
Twice a year. - Definitely.
And you're gonna let us help you.
We talked about it,
and we're each gonna watch the girls a weekend a month.
- Guys, that's a lot.
- It'll help with my empty nest syndrome,
when I'm not at my new job.
- What new job?
- I'm gonna intern with girl boss here.
I'm gonna figure out what I want to do
and who I want to be in this next chapter.
- Next chapter. I like that.
- 50 is not too old to find yourself.
- No, not when you have friends.
Cheers. - Happy Birthday.
- Happy birthday! - Happy birthday to us!
- 50! - 50!
- I apologize for bailing on girls' night,
not that you missed me.
- [laughs] - How did it go with Gina?
- Oh, it was amazing! - Oh.
- Yes, yes, we danced all night.
- That's it? You danced all night?
- Well, and the worst manicures ever.
What? - [laughs]
So anything else?
- Well, it could have been. - Okay.
- I think, but I kind of chickened out.
I told her I was married.
- You are, and you're not.
- But I still feel like I am, you know?
- I know, I know. - Ugh. I don't know.
I guess I just need to do things in my own time.
♪ ♪
- I had sex with Javier. - Wow.
- Mm-hmm.
- And how do you feel about that?
- Um, fine.
Yeah.
- You know what's happening here, right?
- What?
- Well, I hate to break it to you,
but we're friends.
Solid friends.
♪ ♪
- I guess we are.
[both laugh]