(BABY CRIES)
('NO OTHER WAY' BY MADDY JANE)
♪ I dunno about you but I chat to the same people every week
♪ And after a while, it gets kind of bleak
♪ "What have you been up to?"
♪ "Not much" "Sick"
♪ "Nice"
♪ "Well, I guess I'll see you in a bit
♪ "And we can talk about the same old..." ♪
(TOY SQUEAKS)
♪ And I love you all, and we're all so small
♪ And I wanna know what else there is to live for
♪ 'Cause here I'm always too comfortable... ♪
-(SCREAMS) -(KER-CHING!)
♪ But there's no other way
♪ There's no other way... ♪
(MUMBLES)
Well, I'm sorry, Ol,
but I'm not allowed to keep it in the bedroom.
Hey, got some exciting news about my app,
if you're interested.
Well, I'm just trying to distract you from the pain.
(SPITS ICE OUT)
I need to live in a place elsewhere
where stupid people don't put stupid things in stupid places!
Sorry, darling.
(HORN BLARES)
(SPANISH SONG PLAYS)
(ROSA LAUGHS)
(SPANISH SONG CONTINUES)
-(TYRES SQUEAL) -(ROSA GASPS)
-(MATIAS EXHALES) -Oh, you stupid...
SEBASTIAN: I got the party bag mix.
ROSA:
MATIAS:
GABE: Bye.
(MATIAS SIGHS HEAVILY)
-(POP!) -(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)
Oh, no, no, no!
-No, no, no! -Que paso?
-(ENGINE STOPS) -(PULLS HANDBRAKE)
(MATIAS OPENS DOOR)
(MATIAS SLAMS DOOR)
Matias! Huh?
Bueno.
ROSA:
(TURTLE CHIRPS)
Turty-Turts. Hey. (MAKES KISSING SOUND)
(DOOR OPENS)
Oh, hey.
-Am I early for changeover? -No.
There's blood in Turtle's poo.
What?
-See? -Goodness.
Hey, Turty-Turts.
-You OK? -Are you all right?
-(BABY GRIZZLES) -Shh, yes, I know.
We're gonna go in a second.
OK, so, J...
..if Mummy has $68 in her bank account
and her dream costs 55,
then how many nappies can JJ go through
before we all go broke?
(LAUGHS)
I agree.
"Assuming the diet has remained constant,
"common causes of abnormal droppings
"include intestinal diseases, kidney disease,
"liver diseases, bacterial or viral infections,
"parasitic infections..."
Oh, no, no, just stop reading it.
"..or parrot fever, a common cause of liver disease
"may produce lime-green droppings in some birds."
Well, it wasn't lime green, it was sort of greenish.
Can you look up "greenish poo with blood"?
Well, obviously any colour is not good in blood.
Yeah, and he keeps puffing up. Can you look up "puffy bird"?
-(PHONE RINGS) -Puffy...
-Hey, Ol. -Hey, where are you?
Oh! What do you mean?
We were supposed to go swimming.
Oh, sorry, darling, we've got a bird emergency.
That sounds fake.
-Puffy or fluffy? -Yeah, look...
Turtle's a bit woozy and we think he's got blood in his poo.
Right.
-Is that why we never had pets? -Oh, look, this is really serious.
We're gonna head to the vet right now.
Puffy bird is bad, fluffy bird is bad,
all poo things are bad.
For the three of us, 22.50?
Whoa, I had no idea it was that expensive.
SANTI: Hey, man. How you going?
Just three of us.
-22.50, huh? -That's it.
(REGISTER BEEPS)
Have a good swim.
Where are you going? Where are you going?
Thanks, man.
-(BABY BURBLES) -Yeah.
-Squirt. Squirt, squirt. -Oh, whoa! Squirt, squirt!
You know, you could save so much money
if you grow your own vegetables.
-Or if you buy 'em wholesale. -How many vegetables do you eat?
The empanadas eat them.
You know, we could buy chickens too.
Just as long as my parents
aren't allowed anywhere near them,
because evidently they are not bird people.
I was thinking that I could start up tutoring again.
Or another part-time job.
In all your spare time?
Yes.
It's just...you care about school, Oly.
I don't.
I'm happy to pick up more shifts.
You know I can do two things at once, right?
Can she?
Whoo!
(TURTLE CHIRPS)
We would need to do some tests to confirm,
but I'm expecting it to be heavy metal poisoning.
Does the bird have a name?
Uh, Turtle.
Bird's name's Turtle.
Do you and Turtle live in an old place?
It's not our place.
But we do take full responsibility.
Oh, yeah, of course we do, yeah.
It's quite common in this area.
There's reno after reno, but the birds
can still peck through the layers of paint
to the original lead coating.
Oh.
So to confirm a diagnosis,
we would need to do a preliminary blood test,
an X-ray.
I'm afraid he's likely had a small seizure,
so anticonvulsants would be an option.
And if toxicosis is confirmed,
we'd treat him with fluid therapy.
What's that?
It's akin to kidney dialysis in humans.
Dialysis?
We wouldn't expect that we'll need to remove
any particles surgically,
but the X-ray would tell us that.
That would be a more substantial form of treatment.
The cost of diagnosis and treatment
might be something you'd like to think about.
It can cost a lot of money.
4,800.
Plus GST.
I understand it's a difficult decision,
but if you decide not to proceed,
that's understandable.
What happens if we don't proceed?
VET: He'll die.
No, we can't do that.
-I'll give you a minute. -Thank you.
DOM: Thanks.
Shit!
It's expensive.
But I'd say we have a moral obligation to it.
Oh, yeah, I'm just wondering
what card are we gonna put it on.
I don't have that money in my account.
-Well, I can get it. -With what?
I've had an offer. On the app.
-(SCOFFS) -I'm serious.
What are you laughing at? It's 21 grand.
I can pay for this easily.
I didn't even know you'd finished building it.
Well, I haven't, then the idea will probably get shelved
as soon as the sale goes through, but...
Hm.
That seems like a shame.
Yeah, actually, now that you mention it, I do...
Maybe I will say no.
I do wanna get the app made, you know?
Actually help people.
ANGIE: Mm.
You know, don't sell it if you don't want to sell it.
Yeah, but...
Maybe I was already getting bored of it, you know?
ANGIE: Mm.
Turtle?
(BOTH CHATTER INDISTINCTLY)
-Whoa! -Shit.
-(SANTI SCOFFS) -What?
(SANTI WHIMPERS AND GRUMBLES)
$581?
I thought it was a parent spot, I thought it was...
I didn't think it was disabled parking.
Can we write a letter to get out of this?
We can't write a letter, Oly, it's a disabled parking spot.
-This...this... -Well, we're teen parents.
I mean, that's practically a disability.
Is it really that much?
Five times more than I make in a shift.
-(SANTI OPENS DOOR) -(KEYS JANGLE)
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
I'm just gonna put Jacinda in the back by myself.
And what if we get there and we improvise...
We improvise, like, a stall, sí?
You have some foldable tables. Don't you have some...
No, I'm busy too. We're all busy, you know?
-S... Hello? Hello? -(KIDS YELL)
ROSA AND MATIAS:
I left them in the car.
The food truck.
ROSA:
MAN: Hey, Ange, Dom.
-Oh, hey! -Just go inside?
-Yeah. -All right.
Did you...talk to Turtle?
Pretty much every day I was there.
-(DRUMMING AND YELLING) -Oh, dear.
Yeah, same.
Hm.
I don't really ever think he saw my good side.
-Oh, yeah? I know how he feels. -Oh!
(DOM CHUCKLES)
I could say the same thing about you.
No, but...
What?
I do miss talking to you.
You're talking now.
You know, like a...
That's not what I meant. I meant, like...
You know, like, in the mornings when we'd wake up together
and just start chattering away.
-I miss...that. -Oh, right!
Yeah, I remember you pretending to be asleep
on more than one occasion.
I admit nothing.
I was thinking the other day
about how you used to brush Oly's teeth
and then she insisted on you teaching her
how to brush her own teeth.
It was the most adorably long and painful lesson
I have ever seen.
And I teach teenagers.
You had the patience of a saint.
(DRUMMING AND YELLING CONTINUES)
(MUSICIAN SQUAWKS AND WHOOPS)
They're not bad.
Is it just me or is it really rude
for Bowie to host a drumming circle
in our actual living room?
It's not just you.
Is my family insane?
I actually don't think it's a good idea for me to answer that.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes you just walk into a home
and you can feel the history, and that is exactly...
Isn't this the house where someone died
and nobody found them for, like, a week?
Yeah, I think so, eh?
AUCTIONEER: ..to make the sort of family life
that you come from all over the world to enjoy.
Where would you like to see the bidding start?
I'm in your hands.
Perhaps we start at maybe $3,400,000?
Maybe $3,425,000?
Sir, kick me away at 3.425.
3.425 holds the bid, first call at 3.425.
-Second chance... -3.450.
3.450, just in the nick of time, ma'am.
I thought you might, at 3.450 now.
You're in pole position to own the home.
Maybe we say 3.475 from here.
Excuse me.
346. Your call, sir.
346.
-A 10K rise... -SANTI: No worries.
We'll just walk on the road. With a baby.
Where our generation's gonna have to sleep
because of people like you.
3.460, that's the call there
with the gentleman's offer at 3.460.
$20 million!
A new bid at the back there. Thank you, ma'am for your contribution.
SANTI: Hey, how about we just live in a food truck
for the rest of our lives?
Yeah, until we have to sell it to some wanker
and downsize to a trolley!
I got a better idea - I'll just drop out of school
and work in a mine for 24 hour days just to save for a deposit.
OLY: Yeah, thank you very much, everybody.
AUCTIONEER: Just a bit of local colour, folks. Remind you,
the bid's with the gentleman there at 34 and 6.
346 going once, twice...
-Sí, sí, sí. -(MATIAS CHATS AND LAUGHS)
(KIDS WHOOP AND YELL)
(TENDER MUSIC)
Would you live with me if I owned that house,
but only because I conned a pensioner out of it?
Yep.
Wow.
No hesitation.
Shows good strategic skills.
True.
What if I robbed a bank?
You've been watching too much 'Point Break'.
-(LAUGHS) -(BABY BURBLES)
-Oh! -Yeah.
(WHISPERS) She didn't find that very funny.
(PEN RATTLES)
Do you leave the house and think,
"Phone, wallet...Sharpie"?
Mm-hm.
This is something my mum used to do all the time.
Your mum used to do this?
SANTI: Mm-hm.
I didn't really get it at the time,
but now...
If she thought something was wrong,
she'd make it right.
(OLY LAUGHS)
What?
I'm sorry, I'm, like, 100% listening to what you're saying.
It's just...
I can't stop imagining you as this, like, vigilante
in a pink cape...
-Ah! -..righting graffiti wrongs.
Keeping an eye our for a 'V' signal in the sky
from town hall.
Yeah, exactly. Captain V strikes again!
(LAUGHS)
Yeah.
I think my mum would have liked that.
(DOM PLAYS GUITAR)
(SINGS IN DEEP VOICE) ♪ Their love was forbidden in time
♪ Sacred, infernal
♪ Her name was Angela
(PLAYS OUT OF TUNE)
♪ And his name was Turtle... ♪
(SCREECHES)
Please get whatever identity crisis this is
under control and let the rest of us
have some peace and quiet.
-Sorry, Ol. -Sorry, Oly.
Thank you.
(LAUGHS) You're welcome.
OLY: Yeah!
Doesn't like folk music, huh?
-(DOM PLUCKS NOTES) -Oh!
Remember this one?
Is that...
(ANGIE PLUCKS NOTES)
You remember it.
-(LAUGHS) -Ready?
(BOTH SING) ♪ I don't wanna be so sanctimonious
♪ I don't wanna be such a negative prick
♪ But I'm the one who's helping you through your divorce
-♪ Carol -♪ Carol... ♪
Do you think our kids would have appreciated us more
if they knew we could have been a family band?
-I think Bowie... -Bowie probably would.
Yeah, Bowie probably would.
(PHONE CHIMES)
-Oh! -Oh, is that...
Turtle has responded...
..well to the treatment so far.
(SQUEALS)
(DOM LAUGHS)
And we can pick him up in the morning.
(DOM PUTS PHONE DOWN)
Yes!
-Oh! -Here's to Turtle.
To Turtle!
-Oh, that's so good. -DOM: Mmm!
(DOM PLUCKS NOTES)
Start again.
(DOM LAUGHS)
♪ And I don't think Trevor is good for you
♪ I don't wanna be your fuckin' Christmas ham!
♪ I'm the one who's been helping you through your divorce
♪ Carol! ♪
How can you not be totally pissed off about this?
They're out there pretending to be good Samaritans
when...when...when they've just spent thousands of dollars
on a bird that isn't even ours!
Would you have let the thing die?
Yes, I would have let it die.
We have a baby.
-And a $581 parking ticket. -(BABY WAILS)
Oh, my God.
Oly! That's $600! No!
(BABY CRIES)
Guess what we're having for dinner.
Empanadas?
No empanadas, no, we don't have any of those.
GABE: Petrol?
Abuelo! (SLURPS)
ALEJANDRO: Oi! Oi!
SEBASTIAN: This is Dad. Ready?
"Arggh! Arggh!"
"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!" (ROARS)
(ALEJANDRO WHISPERS)
Ah, Santi!
-Hi. Hola, Ita. -(ALEJANDRO SPEAKS SPANISH)
-SANTI: Hi, Abuelo. Hi, Ita. -ROSA: Ooh!
-ALEJANDRO: Hola! -Hi!
Are you guys hungry? We have empanadas.
Or...empanadas.
BERNARDITA: Or empanadas.
(LAUGHS) We're good, thank you. Thank you, Rosa.
(ALEJANDRO MURMURS)
Hey, boys.
Come and help us build a cubby house.
-Hi, Seb. -Ooh.
What's been happening, man?
-What are you guys doing? -Nothing much.
-Cubby house. -Building a cubby house.
Here in Marrickville, we have a great one-bedroom apartment
for first-home buyers.
Great entry-level property.
Family-friendly location.
No psychotic parents.
Well...
-Oh. (LAUGHS) -(LAUGHS)
Maybe J will become a brain surgeon
and buy us a real house.
Well, we just gotta get J through uni
and then we can retire...
(OLY LAUGHS)
..once she's paid my parking fine.
-No pressure, J. -Yeah, no pressure, J.
('CAROL' BY THE PEEP TEMPEL)
♪ I don't wanna be so sanctimonious
♪ I don't wanna be such a negative jerk
♪ But I don't think that Trevor is good for you, Carol
♪ I don't wanna be so sanctimonious
♪ I don't wanna be such a negative prick
♪ I just you want you to let me hold your heart, Carol
♪ And I don't
♪ Think Trevor
♪ Is good for you
♪ I don't wanna be
♪ A fuckin' Christmas ham
♪ I just want you to love me
♪ Like I love you
♪ Carol
♪ And I don't think Trevor is good for you
♪ I don't think Trevor is good for you
♪ Carol
♪ Well, it's been on my brain, so fuck it!
♪ Fuck it. ♪