BOWIE: What else did you do
to ruin our parents while I was away?
Pretty sure that you'd already done that.
They were solid when I left.
Delusional.
I'm not the one who hallucinated all the way to hospital, Oly.
OLY: Maybe getting busted for drugs and forcing Mum
to bribe a foreign police officer via WhatsApp
did something to stress her out.
BOWIE: It wasn't a bribe, it was a processing fee.
OK, then losing your Bitcoin password and probably $40,000.
How was I supposed to know that Dad hadn't kept a copy?
Or nearly getting caught in a sham marriage.
It was a miscommunication, not a sham!
And it's interesting
the way that you talk about relationships
because you and Santi have
a majorly out-of-balance vibe going on.
You know what?
Maybe our parents finally snapped
when they realised they raised a son
that thought that living out of a swag
and actively seeking out malaria
was the same thing as being an adult.
Hey, Ol?
Have you seen any babies lately?
(SIGHS) J!
-Hey! -(GURGLES)
-Oh, my God. J! -(BOWIE LAUGHS)
J!
-(BOWIE HOOTS WITH LAUGHTER) -Shut up!
Oh, Oly feeds her baby dog shit!
-(CACKLES) -Shut up!
J, I love you!
(CONTINUES CACKLING)
SONG: ♪ Hollywood
♪ Came out to what? Yeah
♪ Came out to Hollywood
♪ Hey, yo, yeah
♪ Came out to Hollywood
♪ Got me a bad one
♪ No, she a freak too
♪ Well, you should have one
♪ You got the curves, girl
♪ Ooh, that's a fat one
♪ I ain't gonna lie, though
♪ I ain't goin' back, son, no
♪ They don't know where I stay, where I go
♪ Yeah, I'm out on a roll Get some commas, play a show
♪ No, I'm blessed, I ain't broke Get to work, then I blow
♪ I just stay in my zone You ain't woke, oh, no, no... ♪
Come on, J.
Good girl. Good girl. Grab it.
Look at the big watermelon. Do-do-do-do!
No, no, no. Oh!
This...this seems cruel.
Making her do it herself.
Is it cruel to encourage a sense of autonomy over her own body?
Come on, J. Come on, pick it up.
Plus she'll need to know how to fend for herself
if she has the seven siblings that you'd like to give her.
Um, do you guys want any more fruit?
Or I've got some organic yoghurt.
Mum, she can't use a spoon.
No spoons allowed!
Oh, OK. I'm here all week.
-(BOYS CHATTER IN NEXT ROOM) -You should try the veal.
I better get the boys home.
Chicos! Vamos!
(BOYS CONTINUE CHATTERING)
Is everything OK?
Mum, no!
It's baby-led weaning.
She has to do it herself.
Mm-hm. OK. -SANTI: Vamos!
SANTI: Say goodbye to Ms Davis, boys.
-Bye! -Bye!
-See ya. Bye. -Bye, Angie.
(BABY GURGLES)
(OLY WHISPERS) Mum! Mum! Mum.
(LAUGHS)
OLY: Good!
"..fleshy, skinful, passionate fruits
"mangoes are hungry to be sucked..."
(STUDENTS TITTER)
"..mangoes like slush & kissing..."
Hear it!
"Fibrous intestinal lovebites."
-(STUDENTS TITTER) -What does it mean?
(PEN SQUEAKS)
It means you're a slut, miss.
(UNSETTLING MUSIC)
"Mangoes are violently soft.
"Sensual."
-Slut. -"Sucking."
-Slut. -"Skinful."
-Slut. -"Stuck."
Ms Davis, does the baby know you're a slut?
Slut!
(KNOCK ON WINDOW)
(GROANS)
OLY: Hello.
(ANGIE GROANS)
You know you can't hide from the staff room forever.
I'm not. Why would you say that?
Are you still OK to take J
or are you in the middle of an episode right now?
No, I'm happy to take her, I'm just a bit tired
after the 2am feed.
You're welcome.
Hey, French is looking like my best subject, so I was thinking
that's kinda perfect for leading into an exchange.
Don't you think?
I didn't know that was an option.
You're not the one at risk of having
nothing but 'changing nappies' on your résumé, Mum.
Yep, it's good to have a plan.
Yep.
Are you OK?
Yeah.
Just tired.
You know, Ol, if there's something up, it's OK to say so.
You don't have to avoid it.
You should start an advice podcast.
I'm serious.
-Mum. -Yeah?
You're hiding in a car park!
VINCE: Uce, your art is getting some bids.
-Really? -Yeah.
Careful, you might turn little JJ into a trust fund baby.
-That's the plan, G! -Yeah, dog.
That's the plan. (KICKS BALL)
Oh.
-Nah, G. -What?
Nah.
I might have some troubling information for you, sir.
-What do you mean? -Have a look.
@nofaketan.
And?
Ms Tan.
That could be Mr Hanover.
-No way! -Yeah.
Oh! Bro, that's fully him, hey?
You're selling your little drawings
on the same site as your teacher's porno portraits.
-Oh! -It's quite sick.
-SANTI: That's gross! -(OLY GROANS)
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC)
Oly! Oly!
Are you two still...
Oh, yeah, nah, all good. No worries.
(MUTTERS) Oh, my God.
(SIGHS) Oh, shit.
Oh!
SANTI: Oly?
You in here?
(OLY WHISPERS) What?
-(WHISPERS) What is going on? -Are you OK?
(WHISPERS) This cannot be normal.
SANTI: Would you like me to get you some water?
No, I don't need water. I need a fucking blood transfusion!
Why are you yelling at me? I'm just trying to help.
Oh, yeah? How was YOUR first period after giving birth?
SANTI: Oh.
Yeah, "Oh." Thanks.
-It's not my fault, Oly. -It literally is your fault!
Would you like me to... google something?
No! Can you just wait outside?!
Yep, I can do that.
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
Babes, what's going on?
(PANTS AND GROANS)
(MUTTERS) Oh, shit.
Pink with white dots.
Pink...with white dots.
Pink with white dots!
Nothin' but net.
-Hey! -Oh, hey!
I thought I was seeing you tomorrow.
I'm ahead of schedule.
I went to the apartment but you weren't there.
Ah. We've had a menstrual incident at school.
BIRDIE: Oh!
-Poor thing. -Yeah.
Must be permanently traumatised by those toilets.
-Yeah. -I thought she might like this.
Oh!
Fantastic book.
-I better, uh, get it to her. -Yeah.
You never told me when was a good time
to have a chat with her.
Oh, didn't I reply?
I don't think so.
I can come back later or we can do dinner?
Let's just park that idea for a while.
Give her some space.
Am I still in the bad books?
No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. No.
Did you explain to them that
the mushrooms are for my mental health?
Oh, well, I didn't want to gossip about your private stuff.
(SIGHS) I'd rather they know than...
..think that I'm just irresponsibly
leaving my shit around, endangering your family.
Oh, they don't think that.
Do you?
No.
No, uh, no...
What do you mean?
Nothing. Uh...
I'm being stupid. It's fine.
-(LAUGHS) Yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.
Hey, um, you don't wanna come?
We could head to the boat straight after.
Let's see where you're at later, yeah?
-All right. -No, go.
Save the day.
OK, well, thanks for the book.
I'll...I'll call you later.
SONG: ♪ I was in my worst place and you saved me
♪ I've been catchin' vibes easier
♪ I been smokin' Go and breathe it in
♪ I was trippin' Never leavin' you
♪ You the one, you the one
♪ Never leavin' you You the one
♪ Sometimes you grow when you just have space
♪ Sometimes you think the things you don't say
♪ And sometimes your pride can get in your way
♪ You know, you know, you know
♪ I showed you love and never halfway
♪ Let's compromise, I'll meet you halfway
♪ This love is a road that don't go one way... ♪
(PHONE CHIMES)
-(KNOCK AT DOOR) -Yeah?
How are you feeling?
OLY: Gift that keeps on giving.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
Oh, God!
You poor thing.
My first period after you,
I thought I was gonna bleed to death in a cinema.
(LAUGHS)
I was stuck in a public toilet and these...
..ugh, giant clots...
Ohh!
..just kept coming and...ugh!
Mum!
Sorry, it's a bit soon, is it? Sorry. (CHUCKLES)
Is everything else OK?
(PHONE CHIMES)
Hmm?
Um...
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
OK.
Goodnight.
(THOUGHTFUL MUSIC)
(DOGS BARK)
(DOM HUMS)
Come on!
GIRL: Here, boy! Here!
(PLAYS GENTLE MELODY)
(SIGHS)
(MUTTERS) God almighty.
BOWIE: Hey, true or false -
Oly is more chaotic than me.
(MUTTERS) More chaotic...
Uh, that's a lose-lose question for me, Boz.
BOWIE: I know what people think of me,
but, you know, she ate drugs that didn't belong to her
and you blamed Birdie.
I didn't blame Birdie.
Well, she was still being nice to you then, but now?
How many texts have you sent her?
I... None, all right?
And that's...what hurts, OK?
Three.
Mmm.
Five or sixish.
But...no more than seven.
(SIGHS) OK, there was eight texts,
no reply, two whole days
plus three voicemails.
And you haven't been to see her?
Uh...she's probably busy at work, mate.
And I think she appreciates that I don't crowd her.
I've already looked in that box!
We've already looked in all of these!
Well, it would have been nice
if you'd remembered if you'd kept it.
You know, not everyone keeps
every birthday card they're given - we're not all Oly.
Oh, don't they? Don't they?
But a birthday card
with a password to an appreciating Bitcoin, mate,
would have been a nice one to have kept from me to you!
-Hey...hey, Dad? -What?!
Dad, when Birdie was nice to you, what did you do?
What do you mean, what did I do, Boz? I didn't do anything.
Was I supposed to do something,
swami of love and...
(LAUGHS)
You found it?
-Congratulations. -Hey!
You've been ghosted.
Hi. Thanks for coming.
I didn't know if you were gonna actually...
Oh, I keep my commitments.
OK. That's good.
Um, do you want some cake?
-Green tea, please. -Yep.
Oh, that's what I was gonna have.
Uh, I'll have a soy ch...
No, no, I will have a green tea.
-Two green teas? -Yep.
I'm not copying her. (LAUGHS)
-WAITRESS: OK. -(ANGIE CHUCKLES)
Oh, thank you.
Ooh.
That's nice.
-I made it. -Oh, really?
Gosh! (LAUGHS)
How do you find time to do that?
Well, I don't waste time having sex with my husband anymore.
Is that why you left Dom?
Uh, that's not... No, that's not why, um...
No, I think 20 years is not as simple as that.
Yeah, you learn the places that you can't go
and then suddenly there's just too many places you can't go.
Oh. Interesting theory.
Yeah.
We all have our blind spots, don't we?
I think some people are more blind than other people.
Oh, yeah, OK, so you're talking about me.
Uh, yeah.
You're probably right.
-I do have... -You were blind with Matias.
No, that's not what I was gonna say.
I was talking about me.
I think I had a blind spot around, um...
What did he promise you?
He didn't promise me anything.
Well, lucky you.
Lucky? You're kidding!
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Thank you.
Do you regret being single now?
No. Nuh, I haven't really thought about it.
(LAUGHS) You haven't thought about how you're single now?
(LAUGHS) I just thought you said I was lucky.
Well, you didn't get cheated on.
Your husband made it...
..very clear that he was available.
Well, he's not available.
He chose me.
Well, he didn't choose you at one point
and that's why we're here.
Or did you choose him?
Oh, because you're a little bit like a Latino groupie.
A Latino groupie?
(SCOFFS)
Wow, that's a...pretty rude thing to say.
Well, sleeping with someone's husband is also very rude.
I came here to apologise.
Is this what this is?!
Yes! I'm sorry.
Christ, it's not something that I feel...
You know you're supposed to mean it when you apologise.
OK, if you can just give me a second.
Yes, I'm not sure what he was giving me.
I was separated and he was acting like he was separated.
And he was pretty convincing.
Yeah, it was probably just a fantasy,
but he really knows how to turn it on, doesn't he?
When he wants to.
You think you know him better than me?
I met Matias when he had just lost his wife.
I didn't even know...
I didn't know he had a son until we... (SIGHS)
You don't think I know
that he can pretend to be someone he's not?
No. Don't. Don't.
He broke the promise he made to me in front of God.
He just didn't fuck you again.
-Wow. -Yes, wow.
This is feeling really immature.
Oh, what you want me to say, that you fucked my husband?
OK, I'm gonna go, 'cause this is getting ridiculous.
No.
You can get this.
(POURS TEA)
(SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE)
(SEAGULLS SQUAWK)
(SEAGULLS SQUAWK FRANTICALLY)
You know that active father involvement actually correlates
with better developmental outcomes
including getting A's at school?
So J would actually be better off with Santi
and I could focus on studying and work.
(BABY GURGLES)
That sounds like you and Santi leading separate lives.
And statistically,
she would be less likely to have a teen birth.
So no FOMO for you, hey, J?
I can mind her if you guys wanna go out tonight.
Uh, no, that's OK.
Oly, you guys should go out! Just you and Santi.
Why?
You can't just stop talking to him.
Whatever you need to say, you need to say it
and trust that he will hear you.
Away from J and away from everything.
You're doing really well, Oly.
I could only dream of handling things the way you have, but...
..you have to keep communicating.
You have to keep being open.
Why do you care?
(LAUGHS SADLY) I don't want you to end up like me.
DOM: Surely this is stalking.
Well, it's not normal, but I promise it's for your own good.
Did it ever occur to you that she just...
..lost the phone?
It fell into a toilet or...
Well, I don't know!
Maybe it was crushed by a bulldozer in the Pilbara.
Whatever the reason, it's clear
that she no longer has access to said device.
(PHONE RINGS)
BOWIE: Or maybe
she felt her spirit wasn't being reciprocated.
And she knew in her gut, in her energetic waters,
that you weren't for her.
It's kinda sad.
(CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC)
Well, you get it, don't you?
Turts?
Not always someone's fault, is it?
No need for people to take sides.
TURTLE: Birdie!
Yeah, thanks a lot, mate.
(SIGHS)
(TURTLE SQUEAKS)
-Hey! -(BABY GURGLES)
Look at this.
(IMITATES ENGINE) Want some of this?
SANTI: So, what do you wanna do?
OLY: I don't know, what do you wanna do?
SANTI: I don't know.
What do you wanna do?
OLY: I don't know.
I've never really been on a first date before.
What do you do?
SANTI: What about Lachie?
OLY: We never really went on dates.
We just...took breaks from studying.
(SANTI SNORTS)
-What? -Nothing.
Maybe you just never went on dates with Lachie
because Lachie never made 200 bucks from his drawings!
Did you?!
Are you making money off your emotions?
Yeah, well, you know,
Vince and I did say we'd become Renaissance men, so...
OLY: That is some highly evolved shit.
SANTI: Now that highly evolved shit
is in my bank account.
So, um...dinner is on me.
Ooh! Can you get that one?
-Which one? That one? -That one. That one, yeah.
Yeah.
Good pick.
Chicken katsu and avocado.
How old do you reckon until J can eat sushi?
I don't know.
Can we talk about how gross her poos are right now?
Can we NOT talk about that?
She's...
Do you have a delicate stomach?
(LAUGHS) No, it's just, you know,
I'm trying to eat 200 bucks worth of sushi right now.
But yeah.
Her poos are really fucking rank right now.
She's like an abominable pooing machine.
Each new food brings out a chronic new poo.
Eww!
Sorry, I changed my mind. Can we not talk about it?
You're the one that wants a house full of
abominable pooing machines.
Right.
I don't know what I'm supposed to say about it.
What are you doing? Oly, stop!
It's fine. Just say what you need to say.
I'm gonna do it with you, then.
-Oly, I love you and I love J. -(COUGHS)
I don't know what's so wrong with wanting more of that.
Nothing, but it's very unrealistic
to expect that of me right this minute.
My frontal lobe hasn't even fully developed yet.
(COUGHS) Frontal lobe?
(OLY COUGHS)
I tell you that I love you
and you talk about your frontal lobe?
That's what's making you say all of this.
Your brain doesn't know what it's saying
because being a teenager is basically
the same thing as having brain damage.
SANTI: Wow, OK.
That's why teenage relationships are less likely to last
and why you think it's a good idea to have a thousand babies.
-I meant three. -That might as well be a thousand.
What is so wrong with wanting J to have siblings, Oly?
Nothing, but I'm not promising on our first date
to rip apart my body all over again!
Aren't J and I enough?
Oly, of course...
-Oly... -I don't know if I can do it.
-What do you mean? -I think I've eaten too much.
Oly...
Hey!
Hey, Oly!
You just missed me tap my debit card.
Just then, that was a big moment.
Hey.
You have no idea what it was like in that ambulance.
This...this thing just suddenly came out of me!
And there was so much blood!
And I...I had no idea what was happening!
I really did think that I was gonna die.
Hey, Oly, I'm sorry.
Oly.
Hey.
I don't think we've ever talked about it.
(SIGHS) I don't really wanna talk about it.
Can you look at me?
I'm...I'm still the same person that I was before we had J.
-I know. -I'm not some robo-oven.
I still wanna do the same things that I wanted to do before.
Do you wanna do them with me?
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know, it's just sometimes it doesn't really...
..feel that way.
I thought that we would be going wherever
and doing whatever together.
That's why you put your drawings up, I thought.
I put the drawings up to make us some money.
And you can draw anywhere?
Well...
..why are we arguing about things that are so far away?
I don't know. It's... Come here.
How did our first date end up like one of those sad,
millions-of-years-of-marriage date nights
where people find out they have nothing in common
and get divorced?
Well, you didn't watch me tap.
-So... -(LAUGHS)
I promise that when my frontal lobe is fully developed,
I will commit to our future, whatever it is.
And then it will really mean something.
So...
..do I have to wait till then
to find out if you'll go on a second date with me
or is that too big of a step?
Technically, my mum set us up on this date,
so it's actually quite a huge step.
Harsh.
But fair.
('HAPPENSTANCE' BY GRETTA RAY)
SONG: ♪ We built this thing from the ground up, babe
♪ Doesn't that make you proud?
♪ We stand back and stare with dropped jaws at all we have made
♪ Started out on a Tuesday, Wednesday
♪ Leaning against my car
♪ Radio on, passenger door ajar
♪ I tried to gather whether somebody else had your heart
♪ Would I dare to take a stab in the dark?
♪ Little did I know, though, know, though
♪ What had begun occurring under my nose
♪ Little did I know that I'd be
♪ Sleeping under
♪ Your covers
♪ Through the whole year, honey
♪ Actor and an actress
♪ I was playing a role
♪ So real
♪ Caught you off guard
♪ Contemplate
♪ How to feel
♪ I'm thinking we put it down to time and place and event
♪ Name our behaviour as irrelevant
♪ But a day well spent
♪ Was paving the path that was lying ahead
♪ And two tongues so tied
♪ They loosened to learn one another with time... ♪