1 00:00:10,364 --> 00:00:12,783 -[car accelerating] -[Lebowitz] I've traveled quite a bit. 2 00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:15,911 Um, I used to enjoy it more than I imagine I would now. 3 00:00:15,995 --> 00:00:19,123 Um, I used to be younger, you know. 4 00:00:19,206 --> 00:00:21,459 I used to be, um… 5 00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:25,046 I can't say that I was ever really that, um, 6 00:00:25,129 --> 00:00:26,547 you know, that easygoing, 7 00:00:26,630 --> 00:00:28,507 um, but certainly more than I am now. 8 00:00:28,591 --> 00:00:30,718 Um, I've always been easily annoyed, 9 00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:34,263 but now I am in a constant state of rage. [chuckling] 10 00:00:34,346 --> 00:00:37,183 So basically, you know, one thing about leaving your apartment 11 00:00:37,266 --> 00:00:39,268 is there's so many other people out there. 12 00:00:39,351 --> 00:00:42,605 So, the great thing about my apartment, aside from that it's a great apartment, 13 00:00:42,688 --> 00:00:45,733 um, is that, um, I control if there are other people in it, 14 00:00:45,816 --> 00:00:47,777 and that is very important to me. 15 00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:50,654 And this is something you cannot do in a hotel lobby. 16 00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:52,740 -[Ted Griffin] Uh-huh. -I've tried, okay? 17 00:00:52,823 --> 00:00:56,118 You cannot do on a plane. On a commercial plane. 18 00:00:56,202 --> 00:00:59,080 And you can do it on a private plane, but I don't own one. 19 00:00:59,163 --> 00:01:02,875 I'm always surprised, when I've been on people's private planes, that I'm on it. 20 00:01:02,958 --> 00:01:05,461 I always think, "If this was my plane, you wouldn't be on it." 21 00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:08,255 -[Griffin guffaws] -So, like, like… 22 00:01:08,339 --> 00:01:11,258 What's the point of having a private plane if other people are on it? 23 00:01:11,342 --> 00:01:12,468 Yes! I was like… 24 00:01:12,551 --> 00:01:16,680 People say, "Wouldn't you want your friends on it?" No, I would not. 25 00:01:16,764 --> 00:01:18,516 ["Come Fly With Me" by Frank Sinatra playing] 26 00:01:18,599 --> 00:01:22,269 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 27 00:01:23,938 --> 00:01:29,902 ♪ If you can use some exotic booze There's a bar in far Bombay ♪ 28 00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:35,908 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 29 00:01:37,618 --> 00:01:42,957 ♪ Come fly with me Let's float down to Peru ♪ 30 00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:48,254 ♪ In llama land There's a one-man band ♪ 31 00:01:48,337 --> 00:01:51,340 ♪ And he'll toot his flute for you ♪ 32 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:57,012 ♪ Come fly with me Let's fly, let's fly away ♪ 33 00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:04,562 [Martin Scorsese] Here we are. 34 00:02:05,396 --> 00:02:08,649 Okay, well, we just want you to be, you know, as comfortable-- 35 00:02:08,732 --> 00:02:10,734 [Lebowitz] Right. On the set of Wolf of Wall Street, 36 00:02:10,818 --> 00:02:14,071 I didn't see you till I started really, really fucking it up. 37 00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:15,489 [Scorsese] Then I had to come out. 38 00:02:15,573 --> 00:02:17,700 You came out. Everyone went, "God, here comes Marty!" 39 00:02:22,371 --> 00:02:25,040 To me, there's a very sad thing about going to outer space, 40 00:02:25,124 --> 00:02:26,542 which is that it's in the past. 41 00:02:26,625 --> 00:02:29,420 I mean, something that seemed so amazing… 42 00:02:29,503 --> 00:02:31,422 I mean, when we went to space the first time. 43 00:02:31,505 --> 00:02:32,631 Not to the Moon. 44 00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:35,426 -Um, just when John Glenn went into space… -[Scorsese] Uh-huh. 45 00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:38,804 …um, they brought a television set into my school, which was 46 00:02:39,722 --> 00:02:41,015 shocking, 47 00:02:41,098 --> 00:02:42,683 because television and school, 48 00:02:42,766 --> 00:02:44,101 two different worlds. 49 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:48,397 You know, I was never, even at that age, very interested in science, you know, 50 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,858 um, but it seemed like, "That's a great thing. 51 00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:52,193 That's an amazing thing, 52 00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:55,487 that people could figure out how to do that", you know. 53 00:02:55,571 --> 00:02:57,865 And so I thought it was a great thing. 54 00:02:57,948 --> 00:03:01,118 You know, and I thought it was, um, an important thing. 55 00:03:01,202 --> 00:03:06,999 I know that, um, some of these rich guys, um, now have their own, like, NASA, 56 00:03:07,082 --> 00:03:08,500 because we don't have NASA. 57 00:03:08,584 --> 00:03:10,127 Now, it's kind of privatized 58 00:03:10,211 --> 00:03:14,215 and now Elon Musk has, like, you know a NASA type, 59 00:03:14,298 --> 00:03:17,718 whatever you call it, rocket ship company, and they call it space tourism. 60 00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:19,762 -People will be able to, like… -[Marc Balet] Right. 61 00:03:20,262 --> 00:03:23,098 -…have a good time. -[Balet] Yeah. You're not signing up? 62 00:03:23,182 --> 00:03:25,684 I'm not signing up, but I'm happy to sign the tourists up. 63 00:03:25,768 --> 00:03:26,644 [Balet chuckles] 64 00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:31,273 I do not want to go to outer space, so it doesn't interest me, you know. 65 00:03:31,357 --> 00:03:36,695 But I think that it's a good thing for a country to explore these things. 66 00:03:37,279 --> 00:03:39,156 -Driverless cars… -[Balet chuckles] 67 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:42,660 …you know, this is one of the things that I have to say surprised me. 68 00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:43,619 Driverless cars. 69 00:03:43,702 --> 00:03:45,996 Because I never thought about this. 70 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:50,834 Like, when they first started writing about this, I thought, "Who wanted this?" 71 00:03:51,335 --> 00:03:53,254 Like, I just never thought about it. 72 00:03:53,337 --> 00:03:56,548 There's a lot of inventions that I think, "Oh, that sounds interesting," 73 00:03:56,632 --> 00:03:59,551 or I understand why someone would want that, even though I don't. 74 00:03:59,635 --> 00:04:00,928 But driverless cars, 75 00:04:01,011 --> 00:04:02,680 I mean, I have a car. I drive. 76 00:04:02,763 --> 00:04:04,306 And I-- I thought, like, 77 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:08,519 I never once thought, "Wouldn't it be great if this car could drive itself?" 78 00:04:10,354 --> 00:04:13,482 -I've only got a 20. Can you break it? -Yeah, sure. No problem. 79 00:04:13,565 --> 00:04:14,566 [tires screeching] 80 00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:16,860 People say, "Wouldn't you be scared in a driverless car?" 81 00:04:16,944 --> 00:04:18,279 -[Scorsese] Yes. -I think of times 82 00:04:18,362 --> 00:04:20,155 I was scared in a car with a driver. 83 00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:21,991 [tires screeching] 84 00:04:22,074 --> 00:04:24,618 [flamenco dancer tapping] 85 00:04:24,702 --> 00:04:26,036 [cab honks loudly] 86 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:28,747 [Lebowitz] I have been petrified, you know. 87 00:04:28,831 --> 00:04:33,252 I mean, the scene in that movie of yours, After Hours, when the cab takes off. 88 00:04:33,335 --> 00:04:37,423 [Scorsese] Yeah, that's really from an actual cab ride, with the flamenco. 89 00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:38,924 That totally happened to me. 90 00:04:39,008 --> 00:04:41,593 [Lebowitz] When I saw that movie and that cab took off-- 91 00:04:41,677 --> 00:04:43,262 -Griffin's in it, right? -[Scorsese] Yeah. 92 00:04:43,345 --> 00:04:44,513 Oh my God! 93 00:04:44,596 --> 00:04:46,682 -I could not stop laughing. -That's it! 94 00:04:46,765 --> 00:04:50,019 Because that was the beginning of crazy cab drivers. 95 00:04:50,102 --> 00:04:52,313 -Yes. -I mean, there were cabs before that. 96 00:04:52,396 --> 00:04:54,857 -[Scorsese] Not like this. -We don't know why this happens, 97 00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:58,819 but, all of a sudden, it becomes a thing where all the cab drivers are insane, 98 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,155 and they all drive a million miles an hour, 99 00:05:01,238 --> 00:05:02,698 and they won't listen to you. 100 00:05:02,781 --> 00:05:05,868 You have to beg them. "Please, slow down." You have to make stuff up. 101 00:05:05,951 --> 00:05:07,453 Like, "I have a bad back," or 102 00:05:07,536 --> 00:05:11,040 you know, when I was younger, I would say, "I'm pregnant," which scares them. 103 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:12,541 Now, of course, I couldn't say that, 104 00:05:12,624 --> 00:05:14,835 -unless they're completely blind. -[Scorsese laughing] 105 00:05:14,918 --> 00:05:18,088 So there are lots of unbelievably horrible drivers 106 00:05:18,172 --> 00:05:21,383 that if you took all the bad drivers and also all the drunk drivers, 107 00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:23,552 you know, and also all the drivers who are high, 108 00:05:23,635 --> 00:05:27,056 um, probably driverless cars are probably safer. 109 00:05:27,139 --> 00:05:31,060 So it's not like human beings have such great judgment, you know. 110 00:05:31,143 --> 00:05:34,563 Fran Lebowitz is with us. The new volume is called Social Studies. 111 00:05:34,646 --> 00:05:36,440 We were speaking during the commercial break 112 00:05:36,523 --> 00:05:38,734 about something that is indigenous to New York City. 113 00:05:38,817 --> 00:05:42,780 Before you were a best-selling celebrity author, you were a cab driver. 114 00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,406 Were you a good cab driver? 115 00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:45,824 I-- I don't want to brag. 116 00:05:45,908 --> 00:05:48,744 I was an excellent… I was, in fact, a superb cab driver. 117 00:05:48,827 --> 00:05:51,163 I did not like driving a cab, I have to say. 118 00:05:51,246 --> 00:05:53,540 It didn't find it colorful, interesting, or picturesque. 119 00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:56,627 I learned nothing from it, and I never want one of those jobs again. 120 00:05:56,710 --> 00:06:01,882 I mean driving a cab, now it's a really horrible job, but it was a horrible job. 121 00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:06,428 Um, there were, at the beginning, at that point, a few hippies driving cabs, 122 00:06:06,512 --> 00:06:09,348 but basically, the New York City cab driver 123 00:06:09,431 --> 00:06:12,518 -was a working-class Jewish guy… -[Scorsese] Uh-huh. 124 00:06:12,601 --> 00:06:14,144 …with a cigar in his mouth. 125 00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:17,272 You could smoke in cabs then. And they were very mean to me. 126 00:06:17,940 --> 00:06:21,860 In case any of them are still alive, they were very mean to me, these guys. 127 00:06:21,944 --> 00:06:24,363 They were-- And I was really surprised, 128 00:06:24,446 --> 00:06:26,740 because they looked kind of like my uncle or something. 129 00:06:26,824 --> 00:06:28,534 I thought they would be-- but they… [coughs] 130 00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:31,286 …and I realize now, even then I might have started to realize, 131 00:06:31,370 --> 00:06:33,580 they were, like, really worried. 132 00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:36,917 Like, "What? Is this what's going to happen to the profession?" 133 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,420 -[Scorsese laughs] -"These, like, girls are gonna come in 134 00:06:39,503 --> 00:06:41,130 with the long hair, and, like… [coughs] 135 00:06:41,213 --> 00:06:42,381 …this whole thing is over?" 136 00:06:42,464 --> 00:06:46,552 It was such a good job, you know, from the point of view of money earning, 137 00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:50,097 um, that those guys, they worked eight hours a day, 138 00:06:50,722 --> 00:06:52,558 you know, like, five days a week. 139 00:06:52,641 --> 00:06:54,977 They had wives. They had children. 140 00:06:55,060 --> 00:06:57,104 -The wives did not work. -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 141 00:06:57,187 --> 00:07:00,441 Okay? Okay, and they made a living. 142 00:07:00,524 --> 00:07:02,568 They lived usually in Queens or Brooklyn, 143 00:07:02,651 --> 00:07:07,865 which then was a different place than it is now, um, and it was a good job. 144 00:07:07,948 --> 00:07:10,993 There was a cafeteria on Lower Park Avenue 145 00:07:11,076 --> 00:07:12,327 called the Belmore, 146 00:07:12,411 --> 00:07:15,247 and that's where the cab drivers ate. 147 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:17,541 It was open all night. It was open 24 hours a day, 148 00:07:17,624 --> 00:07:19,293 and for some reason, 149 00:07:19,376 --> 00:07:21,503 they must have had some sort of deal with the cops. 150 00:07:21,587 --> 00:07:24,381 You could leave the cab in front without it getting a ticket. 151 00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:26,842 So, that's why it was so popular with cab drivers. 152 00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:29,761 Not because, you know, they had the most delicious food. 153 00:07:29,845 --> 00:07:32,181 Cab drivers, well known to be great judges of this. 154 00:07:32,264 --> 00:07:35,267 And when I would go there, um, no one would talk to me. 155 00:07:36,059 --> 00:07:37,019 So I was, like, 156 00:07:37,102 --> 00:07:39,980 I was very popular in, like, my high school cafeteria, 157 00:07:40,063 --> 00:07:42,983 but in the cab drivers' cafeteria, very unpopular. 158 00:07:43,066 --> 00:07:45,235 They wouldn't talk to me. If I asked a question, 159 00:07:45,319 --> 00:07:48,739 sometimes trying to get some advice, sometimes they wouldn't even answer me. 160 00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:53,202 You know, there were garages then, with big fleets of cabs, you know, 161 00:07:53,285 --> 00:07:55,662 and so you would go and pick up your cab from the garage. 162 00:07:55,746 --> 00:07:57,831 Um, there was a gas pump in the garage. 163 00:07:57,915 --> 00:08:00,167 They put the gas in. You didn't pay for the gas. 164 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,044 All they did was write down how much there was 165 00:08:02,127 --> 00:08:05,631 to make sure that it jived with your trip sheet, how far it was. 166 00:08:05,714 --> 00:08:07,674 So you didn't, you know, I guess in their mind, 167 00:08:07,758 --> 00:08:10,928 you didn't take the cab and go to East Hampton for the weekend. 168 00:08:11,011 --> 00:08:12,888 -[Scorsese laughing] -So it's like, you know… 169 00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:14,515 We had to take a test, 170 00:08:14,598 --> 00:08:18,769 you know, a cab driving test, which they cannot possibly have now. 171 00:08:18,852 --> 00:08:21,146 -[Scorsese laughs] -Okay, I mean, I don't know. 172 00:08:21,230 --> 00:08:23,315 I haven't tried to get this job for a long time. 173 00:08:23,398 --> 00:08:27,736 But, I mean, since, you know, I have actually gotten into taxis 174 00:08:27,819 --> 00:08:31,323 and said, "Grand Central Station, please," and they say, "Huh?" 175 00:08:31,823 --> 00:08:34,910 I think, like, "Grand Central Station. Okay, they don't know where it is." 176 00:08:34,993 --> 00:08:38,121 Um, so we had to, when I say "we," 177 00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:41,708 I make it sound like it was, I don't know, Harvard Business School. It wasn't. 178 00:08:41,792 --> 00:08:43,502 And it's not like London, 179 00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:47,214 which has this very famous hard test with eight million questions, 180 00:08:47,297 --> 00:08:50,092 But, uh, it had a number of things, you know. 181 00:08:50,175 --> 00:08:52,511 You certainly had to know the airports, uh, 182 00:08:52,594 --> 00:08:55,514 and you had to know different stores, different places. 183 00:08:55,597 --> 00:08:56,765 Now, they don't. 184 00:08:56,848 --> 00:08:59,268 Um, and… [clears throat] 185 00:08:59,351 --> 00:09:01,687 …it's a very devalued job now. 186 00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:02,604 Right. 187 00:09:04,606 --> 00:09:07,192 -19 Gramercy Park South, please. -[cars honking] 188 00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:10,404 -Cabs are very unpleasant. Let's face it. -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 189 00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:13,699 They put those things in. The screen in front of you. 190 00:09:13,782 --> 00:09:16,827 I discovered when they put them in, I'm bad at shutting them off. 191 00:09:16,910 --> 00:09:20,497 No, no, no. Look, the plot of this phone call isn't working for me. 192 00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:22,791 It's ordinary. I've seen it a million times, okay? 193 00:09:22,874 --> 00:09:24,001 [woman] Excuse me-- 194 00:09:24,084 --> 00:09:26,587 -Excuse me. There's not itch to it. -[console beeping] 195 00:09:26,670 --> 00:09:28,714 He's just got out of prison, all right? 196 00:09:28,797 --> 00:09:31,550 -[woman] Daddy's in Cleveland. -[Scorsese] He just got out of prison. 197 00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:33,176 I am bad at shutting them off. 198 00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,679 I put my finger or thumb on the thing a million times, 199 00:09:35,762 --> 00:09:38,599 even though I know nothing could be dirtier than this. 200 00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:39,891 [Scorsese laughing] 201 00:09:39,975 --> 00:09:43,437 Like, you could eat a ten-dollar bill probably, 202 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,273 it would be cleaner than putting your thumb on this thing 203 00:09:46,356 --> 00:09:50,235 where a million people have tried to turn this thing off, and I'm very bad at it. 204 00:09:50,319 --> 00:09:52,863 I have no luck with this thing at all. 205 00:09:52,946 --> 00:09:55,616 I've been very lucky in my life, I know, in certain ways. 206 00:09:55,699 --> 00:09:57,701 Um, and in certain ways, very unlucky. 207 00:09:57,784 --> 00:10:00,078 And, at my age, that kind of luck doesn't change. 208 00:10:00,162 --> 00:10:04,041 It's not like I'll wake up and find out, "You have incredible real estate luck." 209 00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,960 Or, "You can get that thing off in the back of a cab." 210 00:10:07,044 --> 00:10:10,213 I know these things aren't connected. One seems small, one seems big, 211 00:10:10,297 --> 00:10:13,050 but they're both things that I am unable to do. 212 00:10:13,967 --> 00:10:17,346 Now, Mr. Scorsese and I are gonna take questions from the audience. 213 00:10:17,971 --> 00:10:19,681 Um, wow. 214 00:10:20,182 --> 00:10:21,767 -A lot of people. -We can't see anything. 215 00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:24,186 If you raise your hand, I will call on you. 216 00:10:24,269 --> 00:10:26,104 -You. -[audience laughs] 217 00:10:26,438 --> 00:10:28,482 Hello, I’m Laura.  From Barcelona. 218 00:10:28,899 --> 00:10:29,941 My question is… 219 00:10:30,359 --> 00:10:32,861 I-- I-- I-- also… 220 00:10:33,612 --> 00:10:35,447 Something happened to me.  I’m on crutches. 221 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,157 Since I have moved to New York, 222 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,576 a police car hit me. 223 00:10:39,951 --> 00:10:43,455 And I’m suing the city of New York, because people say, 224 00:10:43,538 --> 00:10:46,208 “You have to sue the city, because you are going to get money." 225 00:10:46,291 --> 00:10:47,501 "A police car just hit you--" 226 00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:50,003 -Is this a question? -[audience laughing] 227 00:10:50,087 --> 00:10:52,547 -Because it goes on, yeah. -[light applause] 228 00:10:52,631 --> 00:10:53,548 It's a good story. 229 00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:56,093 [Laura] My question is, now, you live in New York. 230 00:10:56,176 --> 00:10:59,596 How long will it take me to get this money from the city? 231 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,765 Okay. All right, here's the question. 232 00:11:02,557 --> 00:11:04,768 She's from Barcelona. That's not part of the question. 233 00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:05,727 [audience laughs] 234 00:11:05,811 --> 00:11:09,022 She now lives in New York. She was hit by a police car. 235 00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:10,899 Now she's suing the city 236 00:11:10,982 --> 00:11:13,485 and she wants to know how long it will take to get her money. 237 00:11:13,568 --> 00:11:15,570 [Scorsese, audience laughing] 238 00:11:19,908 --> 00:11:20,742 Yeah. 239 00:11:21,243 --> 00:11:22,619 Everybody asks me that. 240 00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,372 -[Lebowitz chuckles] -[Scorsese] Yeah. Yeah. 241 00:11:25,455 --> 00:11:27,624 All right, I will tell you this. 242 00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:30,085 -Yeah. -I live across the street 243 00:11:30,168 --> 00:11:32,003 from one of these law firms 244 00:11:32,087 --> 00:11:33,964 that you hear advertise all the time. 245 00:11:34,047 --> 00:11:37,718 The kind of law firms that say, you know, "Have you broken a nail?" 246 00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:41,722 [all laughing, chuckling] 247 00:11:43,348 --> 00:11:45,308 -"Dropped an egg?" -[audience laughing] 248 00:11:45,392 --> 00:11:46,685 [Scorsese] Yeah. 249 00:11:46,768 --> 00:11:48,478 "Money could be owed to you." 250 00:11:48,562 --> 00:11:51,314 ["Street Scene" by Alfred Newman plays] 251 00:12:13,879 --> 00:12:16,590 [Lebowitz] I'm in my subway station one day, 252 00:12:16,673 --> 00:12:19,634 and there's all these signs that it's closing for… 253 00:12:21,678 --> 00:12:23,346 "station enhancement." 254 00:12:24,598 --> 00:12:26,349 Station enhancement. 255 00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:28,852 Not, "We're not gonna fix the subways," which are all broken. 256 00:12:28,935 --> 00:12:31,021 The tracks are broken. The signals are broken. 257 00:12:31,104 --> 00:12:33,356 The cars are broken. Every single thing is broken. 258 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,942 There aren't enough trains. They break. They're old. 259 00:12:36,026 --> 00:12:37,152 They don't fix them. 260 00:12:37,235 --> 00:12:40,947 Um, but the station enhancement, 261 00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:45,202 and there were big posters, um, 262 00:12:45,285 --> 00:12:47,537 with lists of all the things they were gonna do. 263 00:12:48,038 --> 00:12:50,665 The station was closing for five months. 264 00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,043 Five months! 265 00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:55,212 So I look. 266 00:12:55,754 --> 00:12:57,798 I'm starting to read this poster, 267 00:12:57,881 --> 00:13:00,133 and there's a guy standing next to me who, 268 00:13:00,217 --> 00:13:04,471 at the end of reading it, I become aware we're reading at the exact same speed. 269 00:13:04,554 --> 00:13:07,224 And so it's all the things they're gonna do to the station. 270 00:13:07,307 --> 00:13:09,100 And at the bottom of this list, 271 00:13:09,184 --> 00:13:11,019 I'm not making this up. 272 00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:13,063 It's impossible to be a satirist in this era. 273 00:13:13,146 --> 00:13:15,106 -It would stump Jonathan Swift. -[Scorsese] Yep. 274 00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,859 The last sentence was, "Art installation." 275 00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:22,864 So I get to this just at the same moment, I guess, as the guy standing next to me, 276 00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:25,826 and he goes, "Art installation? What's that?" 277 00:13:26,618 --> 00:13:27,744 I said, "I don't know, 278 00:13:27,828 --> 00:13:31,623 but isn't that the thing that drives you the most crazy about the subway?" 279 00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:35,210 "Don't you stand for hours, waiting for the train that never comes, 280 00:13:35,293 --> 00:13:38,213 thinking, 'You know what's wrong? Not enough art.'" 281 00:13:38,296 --> 00:13:42,843 William Wegman has installed some mosaics of dogs… 282 00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:47,013 which I'm guessing I paid for. 283 00:13:47,514 --> 00:13:51,268 So, I mean, these are cute, okay? But really? 284 00:13:51,351 --> 00:13:53,353 Like, and this took five months? 285 00:13:53,895 --> 00:13:54,980 And… 286 00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:56,690 But that's it. 287 00:13:56,773 --> 00:14:00,318 In other words, the tiles-- the broken tiles are still there. 288 00:14:01,194 --> 00:14:02,904 The original schmutz, still there. 289 00:14:03,405 --> 00:14:05,699 The broken cement on the floor, still there. 290 00:14:05,782 --> 00:14:06,867 They didn't touch it. 291 00:14:06,950 --> 00:14:09,202 So I think, "How could this take five months?" 292 00:14:09,286 --> 00:14:12,205 And then you think about, you know, your contractor… 293 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:14,249 -[Scorsese] Yeah. -…who renovated your apartment. 294 00:14:14,332 --> 00:14:17,377 They must have used him. This is why it took five months. 295 00:14:17,460 --> 00:14:20,839 You may love mosaics of dogs. You may not like them. 296 00:14:20,922 --> 00:14:22,173 But no one, 297 00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:26,136 I am certain that even William Wegman would say, 298 00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:29,723 "Do you think this is essential to the lifeblood of New York 299 00:14:29,806 --> 00:14:33,101 that we have these dogs in the subway station?" 300 00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:36,229 I mean, it is not, you know? It's nice. 301 00:14:36,313 --> 00:14:38,607 You know, there's certain things, like, you think, like, 302 00:14:38,690 --> 00:14:41,860 "If we've taken care of every important thing, okay, let's do that." 303 00:14:41,943 --> 00:14:44,404 -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. -You know? But we haven't. 304 00:14:44,905 --> 00:14:48,325 We've taken care of no important things. No. Let's do this other stuff first. 305 00:14:48,408 --> 00:14:50,410 [Scorsese] Maybe they think it's for the spirit. 306 00:14:50,493 --> 00:14:51,411 The spirit, yes. 307 00:14:51,494 --> 00:14:53,788 But no one in the subway system has any spirit left. 308 00:14:53,872 --> 00:14:56,583 -[both laughing] -Okay? They've beaten it out of us. 309 00:14:56,666 --> 00:15:00,086 Like, it would take one subway ride 310 00:15:00,170 --> 00:15:04,049 for the Dalai Lama to turn into a lunatic, raging person, 311 00:15:04,132 --> 00:15:07,302 yelling, "Who cares about this art in the subway station?" 312 00:15:07,385 --> 00:15:08,386 [Scorsese laughing] 313 00:15:08,470 --> 00:15:11,431 [1950s MTA narrator] To ensure the unequaled safety record 314 00:15:11,514 --> 00:15:14,100 of the New York City Transit Authority, 315 00:15:14,184 --> 00:15:17,896 the men of the system are perfectly trained for their jobs. 316 00:15:18,647 --> 00:15:21,399 At the Transit Authority's testing facilities, 317 00:15:21,483 --> 00:15:23,860 these men learn to drive in city streets 318 00:15:23,944 --> 00:15:28,239 during heavy traffic and under difficult conditions. 319 00:15:29,199 --> 00:15:33,078 Their skills are carefully evaluated by trained experts. 320 00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:37,582 [Lebowitz] I think that if you're over 14, you don't have time to wait for the bus. 321 00:15:37,666 --> 00:15:41,544 If you're eight or nine, you can think, "The bus is gonna take an hour and a half, 322 00:15:41,628 --> 00:15:45,173 but I can waste that, because I'm nine. I have plenty of time to waste." 323 00:15:45,256 --> 00:15:48,760 But if you're not nine, you think, "I'm really sorry, but I'm too old." 324 00:15:48,843 --> 00:15:50,762 "I don't have time to waste waiting for the bus." 325 00:15:50,845 --> 00:15:53,682 I'm one of these people that if I start waiting for the bus, 326 00:15:53,765 --> 00:15:56,726 there are many people waiting, but while you're there 327 00:15:56,810 --> 00:16:00,814 with what becomes a kind of community of people waiting for the bus. 328 00:16:01,398 --> 00:16:03,316 Um, some people give up. 329 00:16:04,025 --> 00:16:05,151 They just walk away. 330 00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:06,528 Some people take cabs. 331 00:16:07,946 --> 00:16:11,324 I'm a person who thinks, "I'm not leaving this investment." 332 00:16:11,408 --> 00:16:14,119 -[Scorsese chuckles] -"I've already waited 25 minutes." 333 00:16:14,202 --> 00:16:16,454 "If I leave, I'm gonna lose this 25 minutes." 334 00:16:16,538 --> 00:16:19,040 "I'm never getting it back, let's face it." 335 00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:21,501 Finally, the bus comes. 336 00:16:22,669 --> 00:16:24,838 I asked the driver when I got on the bus, 337 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:27,674 "Can you please tell me," I said to him, 338 00:16:28,883 --> 00:16:31,302 "what's the nearest stop to 27th Street?" 339 00:16:31,845 --> 00:16:33,346 He said, "I don't know." 340 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:34,597 [Scorsese laughs] 341 00:16:34,681 --> 00:16:36,599 So I said, "I'm sorry?" 342 00:16:38,476 --> 00:16:39,436 "You don't know?" 343 00:16:40,103 --> 00:16:43,481 I said, "You don't know what is the nearest stop to 27th Street?" 344 00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:47,110 He said, "What do you expect? You expect me to memorize all the stops?" 345 00:16:47,193 --> 00:16:49,320 [Scorsese laughs loudly] 346 00:16:49,404 --> 00:16:52,574 I said, "Yes. Yes, I do!" 347 00:16:52,657 --> 00:16:55,827 "I expect you to memorize all of the stops." 348 00:16:56,494 --> 00:16:57,662 "Every single one!" 349 00:16:58,329 --> 00:17:02,042 He said, "There are a lot of stops." I said, "I expect you to memorize them." 350 00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:04,210 -You're a bus driver! -[Scorsese laughing] 351 00:17:04,294 --> 00:17:07,630 It's not like, "Oh, I understand. You're performing Richard III." 352 00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:09,174 "That's so much to memorize." 353 00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:11,676 "How could you do that and also memorize all the stops?" 354 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,054 "But you are a bus driver. That is your job!" 355 00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:17,932 I said, "You have two things in your job. You have to drive the bus, okay?" 356 00:17:18,016 --> 00:17:20,226 "Which I could do, okay?" 357 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:22,812 "And you have to memorize the stops, which I could do." 358 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:25,899 Okay, Richard III, no, I can't do that, but I could-- 359 00:17:25,982 --> 00:17:28,943 How many stops are there? There's not 10,000 stops. 360 00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:32,530 There's not a restaurant in New York where every waiter and waitress 361 00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:35,158 in that restaurant can memorize 4,000 specials. 362 00:17:35,241 --> 00:17:36,367 Sometimes I'm just agog. 363 00:17:36,451 --> 00:17:38,745 -They tell you a million specials. -[Scorsese] It's amazing. 364 00:17:38,828 --> 00:17:41,873 By the time they get to the end, I can't remember what's at the beginning. 365 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:45,085 And so you find yourself saying, "You said trout at one point." 366 00:17:45,168 --> 00:17:47,212 And right away, they go right into it. 367 00:17:47,295 --> 00:17:49,964 I think they should take all these waiters and waitresses, 368 00:17:50,048 --> 00:17:52,926 most of whom think they are gonna do Richard III, but they're not, 369 00:17:53,009 --> 00:17:55,136 and make them bus drivers, okay? 370 00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:57,931 Because they obviously have fantastic memories. 371 00:17:58,014 --> 00:18:01,184 They can memorize, and not that they just memorize the dishes, 372 00:18:01,267 --> 00:18:03,728 -they memorize how they prepare it. -[Scorsese] Yes, exactly. 373 00:18:03,812 --> 00:18:05,814 "And it has cilantro, and it has this…" 374 00:18:05,897 --> 00:18:07,941 And then, someone will say, "How much cilantro?" 375 00:18:08,024 --> 00:18:09,526 I'm not one of those people. 376 00:18:09,609 --> 00:18:13,863 But there are people that, you know, are very finicky. 377 00:18:13,947 --> 00:18:16,533 "Um, where did you get the cilantro?" 378 00:18:16,616 --> 00:18:19,410 I'm always thinking, "I'm never having dinner with you again." 379 00:18:19,494 --> 00:18:23,540 -[Scorsese laughs] -Like, I don't even know what cilantro is. 380 00:18:23,623 --> 00:18:25,291 It's tasty. I've tasted it. 381 00:18:25,375 --> 00:18:26,835 Okay, good. Cilantro, fine. 382 00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:30,296 Um, but,  [coughs] this is what it's like to take a bus. 383 00:18:33,091 --> 00:18:34,884 [Scorsese] Well, the city is changing. 384 00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:38,012 [Lebowitz] One of the ways you can tell is the lights are on in the building. 385 00:18:38,096 --> 00:18:38,930 [Scorsese] Hmm. 386 00:18:39,013 --> 00:18:42,517 [Lebowitz] Was it Roosevelt Island where the hospitals were? 387 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:43,726 [Scorsese] Yeah, right there. 388 00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:47,272 -See that long stretch? -That's where the typhoid hospital was? 389 00:18:47,355 --> 00:18:49,816 Yes, yes, tuberculosis and typhoid and all that. 390 00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:51,651 They put them there. Yeah. 391 00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:53,611 Someday, this will be yours. 392 00:18:53,695 --> 00:18:55,446 I was gonna say. That was my line! 393 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,073 [both laughing] 394 00:18:57,157 --> 00:19:01,578 -[Lebowitz] Do you see the plane? Where? -[Scorsese] It looks like a dragonfly. 395 00:19:01,661 --> 00:19:02,996 -I don't see it. -Right there. 396 00:19:03,496 --> 00:19:04,831 Landing. 397 00:19:05,790 --> 00:19:07,709 -Where? -In the airport. 398 00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:09,711 -Which is? -[Scorsese chuckles] 399 00:19:10,253 --> 00:19:12,255 [Scorsese] So LaGuardia is right next to Rikers? 400 00:19:12,338 --> 00:19:13,548 -[man] Yes. -Oh, my. 401 00:19:13,631 --> 00:19:15,592 [Lebowitz] But it doesn't land at Rikers. 402 00:19:15,675 --> 00:19:18,011 -Okay. -And if it did, the prisoners would go, 403 00:19:18,094 --> 00:19:20,847 -"Delta. What do you think? No." -[Scorsese laughs] 404 00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,682 -[Lebowitz] I see it. -Yeah. 405 00:19:22,765 --> 00:19:25,476 -[Lebowitz] Is there only one plane? -Two planes. 406 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,395 [Lebowitz] Two. So it is like Delta. 407 00:19:28,146 --> 00:19:29,564 Yeah. [Scorsese laughing] 408 00:19:29,647 --> 00:19:32,817 "Where's the plane?" "Well, we only have two, so where are you going?" 409 00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:36,487 "Well, you have to wait, because it has to go to 16 other cities first." 410 00:19:37,572 --> 00:19:39,282 Now, where is the place in our society 411 00:19:39,365 --> 00:19:42,327 where you least like to be in the presence of your fellow men? 412 00:19:42,410 --> 00:19:44,370 Is there an environment that makes your skin crawl? 413 00:19:44,454 --> 00:19:45,747 -Yes, a plane. -A plane? 414 00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:48,124 Yes, I can't believe they let all these people on the plane. 415 00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:49,083 [audience laughs] 416 00:19:49,167 --> 00:19:52,045 Why is it so horrible on the plane? It's the other passengers. 417 00:19:52,128 --> 00:19:54,339 How has air travel changed in your lifetime? 418 00:19:54,422 --> 00:19:56,549 Well, when I first started flying, 419 00:19:56,633 --> 00:19:59,469 I was not a child, by the way. I was an adult when I started. 420 00:19:59,552 --> 00:20:01,429 -It was very luxurious to fly. -Of course. 421 00:20:01,512 --> 00:20:05,308 You know, it was really luxurious. I know that sounds impossible. 422 00:20:05,391 --> 00:20:09,520 But the reason for this was because airlines were regulated, 423 00:20:09,604 --> 00:20:12,815 and the regulation was they could not compete on price. 424 00:20:12,899 --> 00:20:15,235 So all plane tickets were the same price. 425 00:20:15,318 --> 00:20:17,528 New York to LA was the same price on any airline, 426 00:20:17,612 --> 00:20:21,074 which is why, if you missed your plane, another airline would take your ticket, 427 00:20:21,157 --> 00:20:22,075 no problem. 428 00:20:22,158 --> 00:20:25,745 Uh, and so they had to compete on service. 429 00:20:25,828 --> 00:20:28,790 So there were advertisements for airlines that said, like, 430 00:20:28,873 --> 00:20:33,127 "We have steak, lobster, a piano bar. We have a stripper. We have a lounge." 431 00:20:33,211 --> 00:20:35,088 But, no kidding, how many people here 432 00:20:35,171 --> 00:20:38,091 flew on the old Pan Am before they went out of business? 433 00:20:38,174 --> 00:20:41,678 I flew the old flight to the West Coast and went to San Francisco. 434 00:20:41,761 --> 00:20:43,429 Clipper of the Skies, it was called. 435 00:20:44,013 --> 00:20:46,599 [Pan Am narrator] A new concept in air transportation. 436 00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:49,102 The travail has been taken out of travel. 437 00:20:52,855 --> 00:20:55,650 This is the atmosphere on a jet clipper flight. 438 00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:57,986 Delicious food adds to the enjoyment. 439 00:20:58,069 --> 00:21:01,197 It's prepared in four simultaneously operating galleys 440 00:21:01,281 --> 00:21:03,658 where dishes can be cooked in five-minute ovens. 441 00:21:06,494 --> 00:21:09,414 [Lebowitz] Recently, three women in their fifties 442 00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:12,542 were arrested on a plane some place upstate. 443 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,919 Uh, one was a lawyer. One was a doctor. 444 00:21:15,003 --> 00:21:17,130 One was a real estate broker or something. 445 00:21:17,213 --> 00:21:20,133 They were together. One got in a fight with the flight attendant. 446 00:21:20,216 --> 00:21:22,885 The others chimed in, and they were taken away in handcuffs. 447 00:21:22,969 --> 00:21:24,595 A friend said, "Isn't that amazing, 448 00:21:24,679 --> 00:21:27,098 that people that age would be thrown off an airplane?" 449 00:21:27,181 --> 00:21:30,393 And I said, "It's only people that age that get thrown off an airplane, 450 00:21:30,476 --> 00:21:33,938 because we're the only people that remember when it was great to fly." 451 00:21:34,022 --> 00:21:36,566 So when they say to us, "Don't put that there," 452 00:21:36,649 --> 00:21:38,901 you say, "Are you kidding me? Where's my lobster?" 453 00:21:38,985 --> 00:21:40,570 [audience laughing] 454 00:21:40,653 --> 00:21:44,449 Whereas the people who are 20, they've always known it to be a sordid experience. 455 00:21:44,532 --> 00:21:47,702 -A flying bus. -A horrible, sordid experience. 456 00:21:48,244 --> 00:21:52,373 I mean, why should it take, you know, six hours to go to LA? 457 00:21:53,166 --> 00:21:56,878 If they let the Concorde go to LA, you wouldn't have to stay overnight. 458 00:21:56,961 --> 00:21:59,172 -[Scorsese laughs] -That is an important national goal, 459 00:21:59,255 --> 00:22:00,548 as far as I'm concerned. 460 00:22:00,631 --> 00:22:03,801 If I was the president, I'd say, "We have an important national goal here. 461 00:22:03,885 --> 00:22:07,180 We are gonna make it possible so you can go to LA from New York 462 00:22:07,263 --> 00:22:08,389 and not stay overnight." 463 00:22:08,473 --> 00:22:11,642 -[Scorsese] Have a meeting. Come back. -You don't have to stay overnight. 464 00:22:11,726 --> 00:22:15,521 I was in the lobby with luggage at, like, 6:00 a.m. to catch a plane, 465 00:22:15,605 --> 00:22:17,732 and someone in my building, 466 00:22:17,815 --> 00:22:19,776 I mean, a neighbor, who-- 467 00:22:19,859 --> 00:22:22,612 Some people, at 6:00 a.m., they're coming back from the gym. 468 00:22:22,695 --> 00:22:25,698 -[Scorsese laughs] -Well, that's why they have money. 469 00:22:25,782 --> 00:22:28,159 On the other hand, you call that a life? 470 00:22:28,242 --> 00:22:31,037 Okay? At 6:00 a.m., they're coming back from the gym! 471 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:34,374 Okay, so they'll say, "Fran, are you going on vacation?" 472 00:22:34,457 --> 00:22:36,250 And I think, "Are you insane?" 473 00:22:36,334 --> 00:22:38,336 -[Scorsese laughs] -So I said, "No." 474 00:22:38,419 --> 00:22:40,004 "Vacation? No." 475 00:22:40,588 --> 00:22:42,256 "Oh, where are you going?" 476 00:22:42,340 --> 00:22:45,718 I don't remember where I was going. I said, "No, I do these speaking dates." 477 00:22:46,386 --> 00:22:47,595 "No, I'm going to work." 478 00:22:48,221 --> 00:22:50,598 I-- If you see me with luggage in the lobby, 479 00:22:51,557 --> 00:22:54,852 -I'm going to make money, okay? -[Scorsese] Mm-hmm. 480 00:22:54,936 --> 00:22:59,273 I'm not going to spend it. I spend it here. Here's where I spend it. 481 00:22:59,357 --> 00:23:02,819 I go, I get on the plane. I go to these places. I make money. 482 00:23:02,902 --> 00:23:05,113 The money comes back. I give it to the building. 483 00:23:05,196 --> 00:23:06,572 I stay in the building. 484 00:23:06,656 --> 00:23:11,577 You know, it's like the money that I earn, I do, so I have this home. 485 00:23:12,161 --> 00:23:14,956 Okay? I have to keep going out so I can stay here. 486 00:23:15,039 --> 00:23:19,377 But as far as wanting to go places, I can't believe people do it for fun. 487 00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:22,839 When I'm in airports and I see that there are people going on vacations, 488 00:23:22,922 --> 00:23:24,841 I think, "How horrible could your life be?" 489 00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:27,802 -Like, how bad is your regular life… -[Scorsese laughing] 490 00:23:27,885 --> 00:23:30,012 …that you think, "You know what'd be fun?" 491 00:23:30,096 --> 00:23:33,558 "Let's get the kids, go to the airport, 492 00:23:33,641 --> 00:23:36,269 you know, with thousands of pieces of luggage, 493 00:23:36,352 --> 00:23:37,645 stand in these lines, 494 00:23:37,728 --> 00:23:39,480 be yelled at by a bunch of morons, 495 00:23:39,564 --> 00:23:42,108 leave late, be squished all together." 496 00:23:42,191 --> 00:23:44,360 "And this is better than our actual life." 497 00:23:45,153 --> 00:23:47,155 ["Ca Plane Pour Moi" by Plastic Bertrand playing] 498 00:23:47,238 --> 00:23:48,156 [Scorsese] And action. 499 00:23:48,239 --> 00:23:51,117 One count, engaging in conspiracy to commit securities fraud. 500 00:23:51,617 --> 00:23:53,244 Two counts, securities fraud. 501 00:23:53,744 --> 00:23:56,664 One count, engaging in conspiracy to commit money laundering. 502 00:23:57,165 --> 00:23:59,584 Twenty-one counts, money laundering. 503 00:23:59,667 --> 00:24:01,627 One count, obstruction of justice. 504 00:24:03,171 --> 00:24:05,173 Bail is set at $10 million. 505 00:24:15,808 --> 00:24:16,642 [Lebowitz] Yes? 506 00:24:16,726 --> 00:24:19,437 [woman in audience] What are your thoughts on electronic cigarettes? 507 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,439 [Lebowitz, audience laughing] 508 00:24:21,522 --> 00:24:23,941 Well, being on the set of your movie, 509 00:24:24,025 --> 00:24:26,736 -when Leo walked into the courtroom… -Yeah, yeah, yeah. 510 00:24:27,278 --> 00:24:28,738 …he was smoking a cigarette. 511 00:24:29,238 --> 00:24:34,160 And I thought-- and we were in a real courthouse, okay? 512 00:24:34,243 --> 00:24:36,621 So I know that movie stars have a lot more latitude 513 00:24:36,704 --> 00:24:38,372 than people who are not movie stars, 514 00:24:38,456 --> 00:24:41,626 but I thought, "They're letting him smoke in a real courthouse?" 515 00:24:41,709 --> 00:24:44,337 Then he got closer and closer, and I did not smell the smoke. 516 00:24:44,420 --> 00:24:47,715 I'm thinking, "If he can smoke a cigarette, I can smoke a cigarette." 517 00:24:47,798 --> 00:24:50,885 -[audience laughs] -So he was smoking an electronic cigarette 518 00:24:50,968 --> 00:24:54,347 and then, during one of the breaks, 519 00:24:55,181 --> 00:24:58,351 uh, he said to me, "Do-- Do you want one of these?" 520 00:24:58,434 --> 00:25:00,520 "Did you ever try one of these?" I said, "No." 521 00:25:00,603 --> 00:25:03,231 He said, "Let me give you one," which he did. 522 00:25:03,314 --> 00:25:07,109 He gave me one. He said, "Try it." I said, "I want a real cigarette." 523 00:25:07,193 --> 00:25:10,988 He said, "Try it," so I pretended. I tried it. I said, "It's great." 524 00:25:11,072 --> 00:25:12,240 [audience laughs] 525 00:25:12,323 --> 00:25:15,201 So he gave it to me, and then I forgot about it. 526 00:25:15,284 --> 00:25:17,828 Uh, and then, I was on a plane, 527 00:25:18,913 --> 00:25:19,997 on my way to LA, 528 00:25:20,748 --> 00:25:23,960 and I was at that point where you think, "I'm gonna kill someone." 529 00:25:24,043 --> 00:25:25,711 [audience, Scorsese laughing] 530 00:25:25,795 --> 00:25:29,549 And then I remembered that I had this fake cigarette, 531 00:25:31,342 --> 00:25:33,803 which, by the way-- Oh! Leo told me, "You can't--" 532 00:25:33,886 --> 00:25:37,390 I said, "Can you smoke these on a plane?" It's the first thing I asked. 533 00:25:37,473 --> 00:25:39,850 He said, "No." I said, "On a regular commercial flight, 534 00:25:39,934 --> 00:25:41,060 you can't smoke these?" 535 00:25:41,143 --> 00:25:43,229 He said, "No." I said, "How do you know?" 536 00:25:43,729 --> 00:25:45,439 "Did someone tell you that, or…?" 537 00:25:45,523 --> 00:25:47,233 [audience laughing] 538 00:25:47,316 --> 00:25:49,902 So he said, "No, I was on a commercial flight, 539 00:25:49,986 --> 00:25:51,612 and they wouldn't let me smoke it." 540 00:25:51,696 --> 00:25:54,365 So I think, "Well, if they wouldn't let him smoke it, 541 00:25:54,448 --> 00:25:56,492 then I know you can't smoke them on a plane." 542 00:25:56,576 --> 00:25:58,786 Um, although I did think, "Why?" 543 00:25:58,869 --> 00:26:01,163 Um, so I was on a plane, 544 00:26:01,247 --> 00:26:03,165 not a commercial plane, but you couldn't smoke. 545 00:26:03,249 --> 00:26:06,586 So I thought, "Oh! I have this cigarette that Leo gave me." 546 00:26:06,669 --> 00:26:08,713 So I used it on the plane, 547 00:26:08,796 --> 00:26:12,091 and it does take away that murderous edge. 548 00:26:12,174 --> 00:26:13,509 [audience laughing] 549 00:26:13,593 --> 00:26:15,553 You know, where you think, on the one hand, 550 00:26:15,636 --> 00:26:18,514 it is very nice of this guy who owns a plane to give me a ride to LA. 551 00:26:18,598 --> 00:26:20,600 On the other hand, why won't he let me smoke? 552 00:26:20,683 --> 00:26:21,559 [audience laughing] 553 00:26:21,642 --> 00:26:23,894 So I think they're not as good as real cigarettes, 554 00:26:23,978 --> 00:26:25,730 but they're better than no cigarettes. 555 00:26:25,813 --> 00:26:27,982 And though you're not allowed to smoke them on a plane, 556 00:26:28,065 --> 00:26:30,610 if you do smoke them on a plane, no one notices. 557 00:26:30,693 --> 00:26:31,652 [audience laughs] 558 00:26:31,736 --> 00:26:35,489 So you can smoke them on a plane. Especially in the bathroom. 559 00:26:35,573 --> 00:26:37,950 You can't smoke a real cigarette on the plane in the bathroom. 560 00:26:38,034 --> 00:26:40,453 The second you light it, something goes off in the cockpit, 561 00:26:40,536 --> 00:26:42,079 and they come and yell at you. 562 00:26:42,163 --> 00:26:44,165 [audience, Scorsese laughing] 563 00:26:46,667 --> 00:26:48,544 This is something I know for a fact. 564 00:26:51,631 --> 00:26:54,008 [Scorsese] Warning. Smoking is injurious to health. 565 00:26:54,508 --> 00:26:59,221 Fran Lebowitz and Leonardo DiCaprio do not endorse the use of electronic cigarettes 566 00:26:59,305 --> 00:27:02,016 and are not liable in the event of accidents that may occur 567 00:27:02,099 --> 00:27:04,602 while using electronic cigarettes. 568 00:27:04,685 --> 00:27:07,188 ["La Dolce Vita" (Finale) by Nino Rota playing] 569 00:27:16,238 --> 00:27:20,159 When you drove a cab, do you remember any fares from back then? 570 00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:21,786 I really don't. 571 00:27:21,869 --> 00:27:24,580 You know, I do remember, um, 572 00:27:24,664 --> 00:27:29,585 that a lot of people, uh, tried to tip me with joints. 573 00:27:30,127 --> 00:27:30,961 Okay. 574 00:27:31,045 --> 00:27:34,423 And, you know, they would be, like, young too 575 00:27:34,507 --> 00:27:36,884 and so they would think that was a great thing to do. 576 00:27:36,967 --> 00:27:41,847 And I would say six or seven times, maybe more, you know, 577 00:27:41,931 --> 00:27:44,850 people would, like, give me a joint. "And this is for you." 578 00:27:44,934 --> 00:27:46,811 And I would say the same thing. I'd give it back. 579 00:27:46,894 --> 00:27:50,523 First, the one thing you did not want to have in the cab was drugs! 580 00:27:50,606 --> 00:27:52,274 Because you could be stopped by the cops! 581 00:27:52,358 --> 00:27:56,696 And I also would yell at people for smoking pot in the cab. 582 00:27:56,779 --> 00:27:58,823 You were allowed to smoke in cabs, by the way. 583 00:27:58,906 --> 00:28:01,450 Because I thought, "We're gonna get stopped, 584 00:28:01,534 --> 00:28:04,620 I'm gonna go to jail, 'cause you're smoking a joint." Um… 585 00:28:05,454 --> 00:28:09,333 And I would say, "Here's the thing. I don't want this in the car. 586 00:28:09,417 --> 00:28:12,211 And the other thing is I do this for money. 587 00:28:12,712 --> 00:28:15,131 -[Scorsese] Hmm. -I'm driving this cab for money. 588 00:28:15,214 --> 00:28:18,467 It's not some sort of, like, you know, festival in here. 589 00:28:18,551 --> 00:28:22,805 I'm doing this for money, and I cannot take this joint into a delicatessen 590 00:28:22,888 --> 00:28:24,849 -and pay for a sandwich with it. -[Scorsese] Mm. 591 00:28:24,932 --> 00:28:29,145 So, basically, this cab driving is a sandwich-buying enterprise for me, 592 00:28:29,228 --> 00:28:30,730 so take it." 593 00:28:30,813 --> 00:28:32,106 I didn't want it in the cab. 594 00:28:32,189 --> 00:28:34,650 That was a really common thing that people tried. 595 00:28:34,734 --> 00:28:36,026 People kept telling me then 596 00:28:36,110 --> 00:28:38,612 there was a woman cab driver, but I never saw her. 597 00:28:38,696 --> 00:28:41,949 I always looked for her in the Belmore so someone would speak to me! 598 00:28:42,032 --> 00:28:43,492 But I never saw her.