1 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:06,774 What is it? 2 00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,677 What isn't it? 3 00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:13,347 It's a nine-layer brunch dip. Combines all your favorites. 4 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:14,815 Thank you for filling out my Google survey. 5 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,417 I'm still not sure why I had to tell you 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,286 what deodorant I use. 7 00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:20,121 'Cause you smell like an angel. 8 00:00:20,221 --> 00:00:23,224 For Carly, we have oatmeal, berries and bacon. 9 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,592 For Freddie, we've got grapes, coffee 10 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,427 and leftover pizza. 11 00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,163 And for Harper we've got figs, caviar, 12 00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:30,764 spicy Bloody Mary. 13 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,400 Dig in. 14 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,740 Hey, Freddie, should you be having a mimosa? 15 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,742 I thought you were on antibiotics for your... 16 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,246 special friend in your... special place. 17 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,048 Oh, you mean my penis parasite? 18 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,283 I'm good. 19 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,185 After two months of round-the-clock meds, 20 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,786 I can pee standing up again. 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,256 It's a brand-new day for my genitals. 22 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:58,526 Did you see? There's a new episode of my favorite show. 23 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,562 Oh, no, don't tell me Wes and Beau made a new one. 24 00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,297 Okay, I won't tell you. 25 00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,965 Showing hurts more. 26 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,267 Wake up, nation. 27 00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,801 I'm Wes, this is my boy Beau, 28 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,138 and we're here with another episode of... 29 00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,839 The Weau Bros Show. 30 00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,409 Beau, my man, how are you feeling today? 31 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:19,613 Good, but, uh, also like... mad. 32 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,183 Beau and I saved Carly's life at Webicon, 33 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,684 an event she dragged us to... 34 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,319 on my Nonna's half-birthday. 35 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,087 Whoa, bro. 36 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:29,990 Then she dumped both of us in a helicopter. 37 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,894 Which was badass... but mean. 38 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:37,030 Now, no matter how many girls I hook up with-- 39 00:01:37,131 --> 00:01:40,301 - Which is a lot. - Appreciate you, fam. 40 00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,602 I can't commit. 41 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,737 All because of Carly. 42 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,839 BOTH: The Ice Queen. 43 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,041 DEEP VOICE: Ice Queen. 44 00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,743 (doorbell ringing) 45 00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,381 I'd expect that from Beau, but Wes? 46 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:54,748 He's become such a douche, 47 00:01:54,848 --> 00:01:56,784 he makes Chet Hanks look like Tom Hanks. 48 00:01:56,884 --> 00:02:01,121 Yeah. He works "craft beer" into every conversation. 49 00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,891 And they're having people mail ice to the Ice Queen. 50 00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:06,227 It makes no sense. It melts. 51 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,496 We just end up with wet boxes. 52 00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:12,132 Well, it's official. 53 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,767 The Internet hates me. 54 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:18,572 This is where you guys go, "No, no." 55 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,140 ALL: No, no. 56 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,775 Don't tell me what to do. 57 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,779 * I know, you see * 58 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,282 * Somehow the world will change for me * 59 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,652 * And be so wonderful * 60 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:35,689 * So wake up the members of my nation * 61 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:37,358 * It's your time to be * 62 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,361 * There's no chance unless you take one * 63 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,995 * And the time to see * 64 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:46,367 * The brighter side of every situation * 65 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,168 * Some things are meant to be * 66 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:52,105 * So give me your best and leave the rest to me. * 67 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:57,445 Oh, you're so lucky Double Dutch left Kevin with you 68 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:58,412 while she's on tour. 69 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,647 I scraped my knee earlier 70 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:01,114 and she came over with a slipper. 71 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,016 It wasn't what I needed but it was so cute. 72 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,954 So, dog still hates you? 73 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:10,123 Yes, and if Kevin hates me, Dutch is going to hate me. 74 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,360 This is the fourth meal I've made her today. 75 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:15,863 But this beautiful little idiot won't eat anything 76 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:16,997 I feed her. 77 00:03:17,097 --> 00:03:21,702 No, she won't. No, she won't. 78 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,738 Okay, it's all hands on deck. 79 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,540 The Weau Bros Show's latest video 80 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,742 has me hemorrhaging subscribers. 81 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,378 I need to win back the Internet. 82 00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,545 Can't handle the pressure 83 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,947 of being the main character, huh? 84 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,616 I cannot. 85 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:36,984 Hit me, no bad ideas. 86 00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,019 How do I go from Ice Queen to Nice Queen? 87 00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:42,323 Queen Latifah! Is that anything? 88 00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,691 - Writing it down. - Yeah! 89 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,494 - Millicent, go. - Um... pass. 90 00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,562 Writing that down too. Harper? 91 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,798 Everyone, meet Dr. Pearl Wallace. 92 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,267 She's the Kevin app's certified animal therapist. 93 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,669 We already met on Zoom. 94 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,705 Hey, what's a certified animal therapist? 95 00:03:57,805 --> 00:04:00,674 A pet psychic with student loan debt. 96 00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,276 Pearl's here to help with Kevin. 97 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:05,813 We can hear you two fighting all the way down the hall. 98 00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,616 All right then, let's see what you can do, 99 00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,784 little Miss Wild Thornberry. 100 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,421 Her drop-dead beautiful exterior's masking 101 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:14,855 a seething inner rage. 102 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,924 Then we should be connecting better, 103 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,293 'cause that's my whole deal too. 104 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,096 You want a treat, you majestic floof? 105 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,798 It's not the food you feed the dog, 106 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,567 it's the energy you feed the dog. 107 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:30,771 I know you're helping, but I hate you. 108 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:34,141 If she meant that, you'd be crying already. 109 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,543 Thanks again for coming. 110 00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:38,546 I could never leave a dog, or my favorite CEO, 111 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,047 in distress. 112 00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:42,750 Well, you're my favorite certified animal therapist. 113 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:46,119 You're the only one I know, but still, congrats. 114 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,287 - Bye. - Bye. 115 00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:48,456 I'll see you at the launch party. 116 00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,991 - See you on Zoom. - Bye. 117 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,460 Speaking of the launch party, 118 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,594 how's the planning going, Spencer? 119 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,263 Amazing. We're going primal. 120 00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,198 I thought we could all eat with our hands tied 121 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,068 behind our backs like the animals do. 122 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:03,737 Spencer, I'm still trying to rebuild my reputation 123 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,972 after my last failed start-up, 124 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,640 and this is my opportunity to prove 125 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,308 that I'm a serious businessman. 126 00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:10,277 This party needs to be the opposite of lit. 127 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:13,814 So let's get... dim? 128 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,416 I can keep an eye on Spencer. 129 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,118 Good idea. Millicent is great at serious parties. 130 00:05:18,218 --> 00:05:21,288 The theme of her tenth birthday was The Magna Carta. 131 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,690 Tenth and eleventh. 132 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,758 Establishing the power of law is not something 133 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,494 that can be contained to one afternoon 134 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,429 at a Build-A-Bear. 135 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,797 Great, that's settled. 136 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,632 Now help me, please. 137 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,966 I know I said there are no bad ideas, 138 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:36,504 but are you seeing this whiteboard? 139 00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:37,838 You gotta top Queen Latifah. 140 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,941 (scoffs) With what?! 141 00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,511 (door slams) 142 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,946 Have you tried just talking with them directly? 143 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:49,783 Oh, you mean handle my problems in the most direct 144 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,352 and adult way possible? 145 00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:54,054 No, I have not. 146 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,189 * * 147 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,594 Man, this was such a bad idea. 148 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,995 I thought if I had Wes and Beau on my show, 149 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,131 I could tell my side of the story. 150 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:06,166 But look at them. 151 00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,869 They're so committed to this bit. 152 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,171 Can we get started? It's hot in here. 153 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,640 Maybe you should take those adorable 154 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,642 woodland creatures off your heads. 155 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,877 The winter gear is because Carly... 156 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,880 BOTH: Is an Ice Queen. 157 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,649 Freddie, please just do the countdown. 158 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:25,118 In five, four, 159 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,154 three, two. 160 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:31,358 Hey, friends. As promised, I've got two very special guests 161 00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:35,463 for this very special live episode of iCarly. 162 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:39,199 Everybody's favorite ex-BF's turned BFF's... 163 00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:44,104 - Wes and Beau. - (both shiver) 164 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:45,973 They're here to have a good long chat 165 00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,443 about their feelings, 'cause when boys have feelings, 166 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,278 everybody needs to know. 167 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,950 Look, I never wanted to hurt either of you. 168 00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,720 But you both told me that you loved me, 169 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,322 and I didn't feel the same, 170 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,658 so I thought it'd be worse to lead you on. 171 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,059 I really am sorry. 172 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,896 If you really don't want to date either of us, 173 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:10,698 you must not be capable of love at all. 174 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,900 You're gonna be a lonely, alone person. 175 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,203 No hobbies, no boyfriend, just you and your word searches. 176 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,638 That's not true! 177 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:19,907 - I will have a boyfriend. - Yeah. 178 00:07:20,007 --> 00:07:22,109 Because I do have a boyfriend. 179 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:27,180 I'm in a hot, hot relationship... 180 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:33,386 that is very hot, and very relationship. 181 00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,558 Well, that wraps up this very special episode. 182 00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,460 Wait. With who? 183 00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,499 What a rude question. 184 00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,102 Uh... 185 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:53,974 - Um... - Me! 186 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,177 Yes. Freddie is my boyfriend. 187 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:03,150 BOTH: Whoa, bro. 188 00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,858 * * 189 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,795 (laughs) 190 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:18,065 Freddie, our first date as a fake couple is going amazing. 191 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,434 I can read my viewer comments without bursting into tears. 192 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,204 - No more death threats, baby. - (giggles) 193 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,740 You know, I'm actually glad the apple orchard was closed. 194 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,043 Digging for onions is equally romantic. 195 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:31,845 Hey, how's this for a caption? 196 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:35,683 - "Our love has layers." - Yes. 197 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:40,554 Ooh, hey. Do you think Millicent would like this onion root doll? 198 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:44,658 Actually, yeah. 199 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,159 Thanks for doing this. 200 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,595 I know you're really busy. 201 00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,597 Hey. What are producers slash best friends 202 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:51,364 slash sort of exes for? 203 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,266 Plus, it's good publicity for my app. 204 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,102 This is working out so well. 205 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,237 And all I had to do was what women have been doing 206 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,772 since the dawn of time: 207 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,742 Say I have a boyfriend to get men to stop bothering me. 208 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,312 (gasps) Oh, it's them. 209 00:09:05,412 --> 00:09:08,281 We went to three different onion patches to find you guys. 210 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,584 We've been waiting years for you two to get together. 211 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,219 We're obsessed. 212 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:14,354 Emily, shut up. Be cool. 213 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,356 We wanna hear exactly how it happened. 214 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,693 Take us on the "In-Creddie-ble" journey. 215 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,995 - We're obsessed. - Emily. 216 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,197 When did you know? Where did you know? 217 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:27,567 Oh, my God, how did you know? 218 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,305 He pulled up to my house, and he held a boombox 219 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,142 over his head and-- 220 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:38,612 You guys don't know who John Cusack is, do you? 221 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,013 That's exactly what happened. 222 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,515 ALL: Aw! 223 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:45,085 - Obsessed. - Emily. 224 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,488 Creddie forevvie. See, it's on my shirt. 225 00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:51,024 Mom. What are you doing here? 226 00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:52,760 She was our ride. 227 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:56,063 You're not my first choice, but I trust Fredward's judgment. 228 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,731 Just remember, you may sleep with him, 229 00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,101 but I'm the one who tucks him in. 230 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,703 Let's see you kiss. 231 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,537 ALL: Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. 232 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,106 Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. 233 00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:08,041 Kiss. Kiss. Come on. 234 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:12,179 (laughter and screams) 235 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,981 Ooh. Steamy. 236 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,749 Get a room. 237 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:20,087 He gets his raw animal magnetism from my side of the family. 238 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:24,257 One ticket to the family reunion, please. 239 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,159 I'm not gonna tell you again, you gotta stop it. 240 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:29,196 (indistinct chatter) 241 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,599 * * 242 00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,038 You are very tense, 243 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,374 which is ridiculous because you live an easy life. 244 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,644 - You are being impossible. - No, I'm not! 245 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:47,314 - Harper, this launch party-- - Shh. 246 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,917 Dutch texted asking for a picture of us together, 247 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,419 so I'm trying to get her to relax. 248 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,723 I haven't rubbed on a bitch this much since prom night. 249 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:58,025 Got it. Would you please tell Millicent 250 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,060 that Freddie put me in charge? 251 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,629 But Freddie put me in charge of Spencer. 252 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,198 I am a (shudders) year-old man. 253 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:09,669 I know parties. Two words: Human bowling ball. 254 00:11:11,138 --> 00:11:12,973 Whereas I'm thinking classical music, 255 00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:15,342 understated florals and soft cheeses 256 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,543 with unpronounceable names. 257 00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:21,214 Spencer, Freddie is counting on you to make this party adult. 258 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,817 You need to listen to the 11-year-old. 259 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,755 Fine, but only for Freddie. And you. 260 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,557 And Harper, 'cause I respect her opinion. 261 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:32,893 * * 262 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:39,767 Be longer. 263 00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:44,838 Hello-- Oh, my God, that is your entire back. 264 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:47,941 Yep. Just casually 30% naked. 265 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,044 Can you come zip me up? 266 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,279 Yeah. 267 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:56,917 This whole fake relationship thing 268 00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:02,823 isn't bringing up any real feelings for you, is it? 269 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:05,258 Nah. No. 270 00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,060 Why, what about you? 271 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,897 Did my kiss unlock some dark, secret yearning 272 00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:12,732 lying dormant at the bottom of your heart? 273 00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:15,402 No. Of the eight times we've kissed, 274 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,470 I'd rank that one... seventh. 275 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:21,208 - So. Big launch party tonight. - Yeah. 276 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:24,111 You ready to act all lovey-dovey on my livestream? 277 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,113 I will be. 278 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,882 Um... Actually, can you... My mom normally... 279 00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:32,685 Yeah. Okay, mm, this goes 280 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:36,123 through here tight, and then here, and... 281 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:40,193 Wow, I did not know I knew how to do this. 282 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,363 My Avril Lavigne phase really paid off. 283 00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:48,001 Oh, s-sorry to interrupt. 284 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,937 No, you're not interrupting. 285 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,271 I think you might wanna get to the party. 286 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:55,308 - It looks a bit... somber. - Somber? 287 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:57,144 (organ music playing) 288 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:01,915 Who died? 289 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,953 Apparently you. 290 00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,521 - Then what's in the coffin? - Bones. 291 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,257 Ooh, bones for dogs to chew on, 292 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:12,659 but still, not great. 293 00:13:12,759 --> 00:13:15,195 Ah? So? Is this serious enough for you? 294 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,665 (scoffs) Yeah, you really got the message across. 295 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,268 That my app is dead on arrival. 296 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,737 Before you judge, have you seen the soft cheeses? 297 00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:27,407 It's everything you wanted. 298 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,944 Chic dress code, focus on you, boring as hell. 299 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,081 Spencer, look around you. 300 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,783 What sad event does this remind you of? 301 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,689 - Oh. - Yep, yep, yep. 302 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,925 We threw a funeral. 303 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,393 I gotta go see if I can salvage this. 304 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,728 Spencer, can you please, just-- I don't know, 305 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,330 brighten the place up a bit? 306 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,032 I'm on it! 307 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:00,240 Hi, I was told to brighten things up. 308 00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:05,812 Ha, ha. Can I have either of your phone numbers? 309 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:10,984 - Wow. You guys look amazing. - Thank you. 310 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,420 Based on Spencer's description, I figured we should dress 311 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,723 for a funeral that he didn't know he was throwing. 312 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,858 Mm. 313 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,127 No, no, no, it's a cake for eating. 314 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,562 I don't want anyone to pop out of it. 315 00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,297 Well, let her out. 316 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,866 Is there anything I can do to help? 317 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,268 I need this party to be fun. 318 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,138 I have access to a lot of animal drugs. 319 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:34,374 Oh, I am joking about that. I've never done weed. 320 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,243 No one cool has. 321 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,980 I should've planned this party myself. 322 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,714 I was too focused on iCarly. 323 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:45,185 Of course you were. I mean, Carly's your girlfriend, so... 324 00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:46,920 Oh, no, no. Carly's not my girlfriend. 325 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,789 That's just for the channel. I'm single. Very single. 326 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,124 Not in an undateable way. 327 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,261 Just a regular... very single. 328 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,196 Oh. Neat. 329 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,966 I mean, whatever. 330 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,302 But I mean neat. I think it's neat. 331 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,471 You do? 332 00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,906 (organ music playing) 333 00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:08,875 Buddy, you gotta pick up the pace. 334 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,578 (pace quickens) 335 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,580 Nope. 336 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,349 (plays "Charge") 337 00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,153 This party looks like a home run to me! 338 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,156 Hey, everyone, 339 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,626 coming to you live from my love's launch party. 340 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:30,230 The Kevin app is the cutting edge of animal therapy. 341 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,264 It really is. 342 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,599 I downloaded it ten minutes ago 343 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,034 and now I don't feel bad about my passive role 344 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,568 in climate change. 345 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,705 You're so strong, Tati. You're my best friend. 346 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,475 Look. I had my grandmother's ring sized for Carly. 347 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,077 Just in case. 348 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:45,445 How'd you know Carly's ring size? 349 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,380 What? (giggles) Are you accusing me 350 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,316 of breaking in last night while Carly was asleep, 351 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,851 measuring her finger, then singing a few bars 352 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,421 of "Landslide" just to ensure pleasant dreams? 353 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,556 Harper, you are so silly. 354 00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,358 Now, where is the hubby-to-be? 355 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,460 Let's go find him. 356 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:04,998 Freddie, my little stinker, your mom did something 357 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:10,037 very sweet and expensive and a dot illegal. 358 00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:11,871 Come check it out. 359 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,008 (screams) 360 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:18,245 -(all gasp) -(plays chord loudly) 361 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,580 I should have warned you, that kind of sexual charisma 362 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,849 cannot be contained. (giggles) 363 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,784 My little Burt Reynolds. 364 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,586 (organ playing) 365 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,060 * * 366 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,761 I know what you have to do. 367 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,263 Dump me. 368 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,697 I'm a dirty, rotten cheater. You gotta cut me loose. 369 00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:40,400 No, I can't let you take the fall for this. 370 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,634 This is your launch party. 371 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:43,002 Don't you see? This is the answer 372 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,505 to your problem, people love a woman scorned. 373 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,040 But they don't love a woman angry. 374 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,475 Only men get to do that. 375 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,911 So, do whatever you want, but be chill about it. 376 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,483 Okay. Thanks, Freddie. 377 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:59,686 And also, I'm sorry. 378 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,755 - For what? - This. 379 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,995 Who was that for? 380 00:17:09,096 --> 00:17:10,263 (gasps) 381 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,233 (ringing) 382 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,202 Dutch. 383 00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,437 Oh, it's my two girls. 384 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,739 Yeah, the two amigas. 385 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,908 Kevin, let's show mommy that game we play 386 00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:25,412 where you pretend you can't stand to be held by me. 387 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:29,282 Oh, yeah, great job. You doing it. 388 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,618 We had fun. 389 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,654 Harper, my tour got extended. 390 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:41,060 Oh. Congratulations. That's-that's such great news. 391 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,895 I'm really happy for you. 392 00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,398 You must be confused because I look devastated, 393 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,268 but I just have resting devastated face. 394 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:51,238 Come with me. My next stop is Bavaria. 395 00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,940 They say it's the Texas of Germany. 396 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,976 As restrictive to my rights as that place sounds, 397 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,578 I can't just pick up and leave. 398 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,614 The thing is I'm gone for six months. 399 00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,451 Oh. I guess we could try long distance? 400 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:06,853 Oh. No, I can't. 401 00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,257 Phone sex is illegal in Germany. 402 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,160 Maybe we just have to wait until we're back 403 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,694 in the same place. 404 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,129 Which is what we said we were going to do. 405 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,266 Uh, only instead of six days from now, 406 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,600 it's six months from now. 407 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,101 Look, I... 408 00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,804 I know you're right but this just really sucks. 409 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,006 It does. But you know what could 410 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,876 really help? Why don't you keep Kevin? 411 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,578 No. 412 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:36,149 I mean, she would just remind me of you. 413 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,050 That makes sense. (sniffles) 414 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:42,589 Okay, well, I'll just have my mom pick her up, then. 415 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,958 Goodbye, Harper. For now. 416 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,894 Bye. 417 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,167 * * 418 00:18:57,103 --> 00:18:58,938 (sniffles) 419 00:18:59,038 --> 00:19:03,410 Aw. Thanks, Kev. (sniffles) 420 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,077 * * 421 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,515 Wait, her mom could've taken you this whole time? 422 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,583 * * 423 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:15,555 It's like I finally got a taste of what real love looks like, 424 00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:17,624 then poof, 425 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:20,593 it's touring the Black Forest. 426 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:24,431 I love Bavaria. It reminds me of Texas. 427 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,567 Do you think Pearl and Carly have the same size ring finger? 428 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,970 It looks that way, but Carly's all knuckle. 429 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:34,741 Here lies Creddie. 430 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,643 - We had a good run. - Mm-hmm. 431 00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:39,246 Until I killed it with my lusty ways. 432 00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,847 I'm a bad, bad boyfriend. 433 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:43,182 Probably because I'm such a good CEO. 434 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,719 And that is why I have magnanimously and warmfully 435 00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:48,921 ended things with Freddie. 436 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,725 Please respect our privacy during this difficult time. 437 00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:54,594 In lieu of being mad at him, 438 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,663 donations can be made to the Pear store 439 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:59,499 in the form of purchasing the Kevin app. 440 00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:00,900 Boo! 441 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,735 - Now, now, don't boo Freddie. - We're not. 442 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,804 We're booing Pearl. 443 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,074 She's a homewrecker! 444 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,310 (gasps) Shut up, Emily. 445 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,478 Preddie forevvie. 446 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,212 Mrs. Benson! 447 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:15,348 I love who Freddie loves. 448 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:18,084 Carly can choke. 449 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:20,119 I've known you my whole life. 450 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,754 You taught me how to use a tampon. 451 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,257 Oh, I'll teach you too, dear. 452 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,263 And hating Pearl is an insane opinion. 453 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,798 Insane, but popular. 454 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,200 "Pearl makes me hurl" is trending. 455 00:20:34,301 --> 00:20:37,103 Maybe they're talking about a different Pearl. 456 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,771 No, your last name's Wallace, right? 457 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,207 And you live at 416 North Bell Creek Terrace? 458 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:45,712 She got doxxed? How did that happen? 459 00:20:45,812 --> 00:20:48,981 Put her driver's license back. 460 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,918 -And stop the organ music! -(music stops) 461 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:55,288 Here. Freddie, get this. 462 00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,092 Freddie and I were never together. 463 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,194 I just said that because people 464 00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:03,530 were demonizing me 465 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:06,666 for not reciprocating Wes and Beau's feelings. 466 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,369 And Freddie's... 467 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,803 Freddie's the best, so... 468 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,639 he went along with it. 469 00:21:12,739 --> 00:21:16,543 And he and Pearl would be great together. 470 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,044 You can hate me. 471 00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,747 At least you'll be hating me for the truth. 472 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:24,651 Please don't hate me. 473 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,686 (screams) 474 00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:30,757 Boom! Brightened it up. 475 00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:33,526 Who was that for? 476 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,328 * * 477 00:21:37,697 --> 00:21:39,399 "Dang, Carly, stop lying. 478 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,000 "We've all been cheated on. 479 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,035 "Pathetic how you're trying to save face by pretending 480 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,372 the relationship never existed." 481 00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:48,908 Oh. "Carly, I would never cheat on you, queen." 482 00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:50,276 Then ten minutes later, he called you a lot 483 00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,579 of mean names for not responding. 484 00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,947 (doorbell ringing) 485 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,250 "Freddie is a baller." "Freddie is a boss." 486 00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,753 "Freddie, can I be your third girlfriend?" 487 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,222 Oh, wow, she is pretty. 488 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:07,259 Gross. This-this is bad. I hate this. 489 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:11,698 Well, now they're sending you vacuums, 490 00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:14,100 'cause you suck. 491 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:18,605 Ooh, a Dyson. Thank you, hater. 492 00:22:18,705 --> 00:22:21,073 You okay, Carly? 493 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,943 People are gonna think what they wanna think. 494 00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,245 And my real fans never left me. 495 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,881 That's who I make content for. 496 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:31,651 Them and the people who hate watching on repeat. 497 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:33,753 Still counts. 498 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,922 Did you guys see the new Weau Bros Show? 499 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,925 (gasps) Spencer, you get to shoot a reaction vid 500 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,828 of me watching Carly watch it. 501 00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:44,831 I'm just saying, I respect Carly 502 00:22:44,931 --> 00:22:46,232 for standing up for Pearl. 503 00:22:46,332 --> 00:22:49,268 Nah, bro, all women are the same. 504 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:52,371 That is a really myopic view of gender and personality. 505 00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:56,643 Look, man. I don't know what "myopic" means, 506 00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:58,745 but I know I don't like it! 507 00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,847 I quit! 508 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:04,283 But I just bought you all that yogurt for the break room! 509 00:23:05,518 --> 00:23:07,820 ALL: Whoa, bro. 510 00:23:13,426 --> 00:23:15,662 * * 511 00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,116 Ooh. 512 00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:39,418 He hates these cans!