1
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,408
Harper, I need you
to take this seriously.

2
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:10,911
Do you have any fours?

3
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,713
Freddie, just go fish.

4
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,215
She's waiting to hear
about the job

5
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,749
[whispers]:
with Double Dutch.

6
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,885
Don't say her name!
You'll jinx me.

7
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:20,321
-Who's Double Dutch?
-What did I just say?

8
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,191
The aforementioned is
an emerging pop star

9
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,393
with a million
Instagram followers.

10
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:28,296
She's got the blue check.

11
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:29,997
Oh, so she's
not real world famous,

12
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,232
she's just online famous.

13
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,400
-Hey!
-Hey!

14
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,801
Before you're a household name,

15
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,903
-you're a handheld name.
-Yeah.

16
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,739
And handheld names can have long
and fulfilling careers...

17
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:41,142
dressing up as tacos on
their wildly popular Web shows.

18
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:42,676
[chuckles]

19
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,645
Oh, that reminds me,
we're doing that sketch later.

20
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,181
I got to go pick up my Taco Tina
costume from the cleaners.

21
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,549
Uh, do you need to borrow
my car?

22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:51,219
No. I have my own car,
thank you.

23
00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,587
-Or you could take mine.
-[HARPER]: I don't have a car,

24
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,056
but I can call you
an ethical rideshare company,

25
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,192
as soon as there is one.

26
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,893
Look, my car is fine.

27
00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:02,596
So what if it goes
[imitates car straining]

28
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,298
when I'm going uphill?

29
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,735
If I have to walk uphill,
I make that noise, too.

30
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:11,872
It doesn't mean that
there's anything wrong.

31
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:15,008
[beeping]

32
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,747
* *

33
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,264
[needle scratches record]

34
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,798
Hi, I'm Wes.

35
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,033
Uh, I hope you didn't wait
too long.

36
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,403
I, I would hate for you
to get soggy.

37
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,272
[chuckles]:
Oh, this?

38
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,006
It's just
for a silly Internet thing.

39
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,941
I'm Taco Tina.

40
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,111
I'm a taco, but I have all the
same problems as any other girl.

41
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,613
Including car troubles?

42
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,315
Uh, 'cause according
to Quadruple A,

43
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:56,284
you've called a tow truck nine
times in the last six months.

44
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:59,253
What? No,
I'm sure it's not that many.

45
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,155
Uh, really? 'Cause you get
the tenth tow for free.

46
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,991
Oh, yeah, you know,
i-it has been nine.

47
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,761
This guy here is Vin Diesel,

48
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:10,063
'cause he has a VIN number
and he takes diesel.

49
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,665
He takes unleaded.

50
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,201
You haven't been putting diesel
in this car, have you?

51
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:14,235
No.

52
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,069
Definitely not.

53
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,473
He probably just needs
a new battery.

54
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,309
No, your battery's fine.

55
00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,544
But your drum brakes are shot,
you have a failed generator,

56
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,213
and there's a crack
in the engine block.

57
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,947
Oh, is that all?

58
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:28,216
[chuckles]:
Oh, you wish.

59
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,617
You have a fried distributor,

60
00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,084
and that air filter is
an environmental hazard.

61
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,187
No, that's fine.
I wiped it off last year.

62
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,256
Trust me. I've been doing this
since I was six,

63
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,157
and I've been fixing Hot Wheels
since I was two.

64
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:40,194
Okay, but you don't know
how tough Vin Diesel is.

65
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,996
I've had him forever,
and he's always pulled through.

66
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:46,267
Be honest,
you're just trying to upsell me.

67
00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,935
If you want me to be honest,

68
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,870
you might want to think about
getting rid of this old clunker.

69
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,073
The repairs are gonna cost more
than Mr. Diesel's even worth.

70
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,009
Worth? Worth?!

71
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:59,613
Can you put a price on
the perfect drive-through Coke,

72
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,350
drunk beneath the stars
on a crisp autumn evening?

73
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,951
Yes.

74
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,086
And so can most fast food
restaurants.

75
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,722
Uh, should we just go back
to your place?

76
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,991
[chuckles]:
My place?

77
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,426
That's presumptuous.

78
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,162
Your place, as in the place
I'm towing your car.

79
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,164
I presume.

80
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:20,067
* I know *

81
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,469
* You see *

82
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,871
* Somehow the world
will change for me *

83
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,940
* And be so wonderful *

84
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:30,711
* So wake up
the members of my nation *

85
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,913
* It's your time to be *

86
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,949
* There's no chance
unless you take one *

87
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,652
* And the time to see
the brighter side *

88
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,922
* Of every situation *

89
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,857
* Some things are meant to be *

90
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:47,495
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *

91
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,964
$15,000 to fix a car?

92
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,267
You could get one-third
of a Birkin bag for that.

93
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,935
Purses cost that much?

94
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,805
Great, now you got me
thinking about purses,

95
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,773
which is reminding me
of the styling job with Dutch,

96
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,575
which I'm trying
not to think about.

97
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,010
You brought up the purse!

98
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,679
Oh! So now we're blaming
the victim?

99
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,681
Thank you, Fredward.

100
00:04:09,216 --> 00:04:11,151
I wish there was a way to know
if my car really needed

101
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,287
all that work
or if that mechanic was just

102
00:04:13,387 --> 00:04:14,555
trying to take advantage
of me.

103
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,256
You could take
a auto repair class.

104
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,726
I saw a flyer for one
at the community college.

105
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:20,694
I was there
for my investing class.

106
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,696
[chuckles]:
Investing! Great!

107
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,933
Now I'm thinking about this.
Wow, Millicent.

108
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,637
You know, I love this idea.

109
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,972
I can take a car repair class,
fix Vin Diesel,

110
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,941
and then talk about it
on iCarly.

111
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:37,411
I can't be the only woman who's
sick of condescending mechanics.

112
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:38,912
Hey, it's not just women.

113
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,782
When I got my oil changed,
it cost an extra $400

114
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,784
to fix my "shock exacerbater."

115
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,185
What's a shock exacerbater?

116
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:48,422
It is a made-up thing
that cost $400.

117
00:04:48,522 --> 00:04:50,391
Well, they're gonna be naming
made-up auto parts after me

118
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,993
once I ace this class
like Hermione freaking Granger.

119
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:54,895
Hermione Freaking Granger
was the title

120
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,664
of Dutch's first album!

121
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:58,932
Come on, Carly!

122
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:04,372
-[chuckles]
-[sniffs] Ah, vino.

123
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,839
The serum of truth.

124
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,908
But we already know
every single thing

125
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:09,610
there is to know
about each other. [chuckles]

126
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,045
I faked it!

127
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:14,715
What? Last night?

128
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,384
All of it.
The whole time.

129
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,618
Since I've known you?

130
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,620
Since before that.

131
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,423
Guess that makes me feel
a little bit better.

132
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,493
I just couldn't keep
lying to you a moment longer.

133
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,529
Oh, please don't be upset.

134
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,731
I'm more disappointed
in myself.

135
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,566
Is there anything
I could've done better?

136
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,768
More wiggling?
I-I'm here to listen.

137
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:38,839
Spencer,
I faked my own kidnapping.

138
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,941
[chuckling]:
Oh, thank God.

139
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,710
It's not me, it's you!

140
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,645
Okay. Why'd you do that?

141
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,580
When our family lost
all of our money,

142
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,649
I was being hounded
by the paparazzi,

143
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,251
bill collectors, the media--

144
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,286
mostly bill collectors.

145
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,856
So I hopped on a cruise
and sailed away.

146
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,926
Suddenly it's all like,
"kidnapping this"

147
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,629
and "debt forgiveness" that,
so...

148
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,996
Wow.

149
00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:07,435
Now we're even closer
than before! Yay!

150
00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:09,336
You're not mad?

151
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:11,672
As long as you were never
a rodeo clown, we're fine.

152
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:13,273
[laughs]

153
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,708
Well, that's great.

154
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:17,244
Do you think Harper
will understand?

155
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,346
No.
[laughs] No.

156
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:21,615
She's gonna kill you
and bury you at sea.

157
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,885
I'll lay fresh kelp
at your grave.

158
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,726
Wow, look at all these women.

159
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,395
And you. And that guy.

160
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,898
A camaraderie of sisterhood,
joining hands to say,

161
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,567
"We can fix it ourselves."

162
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,234
I'm gonna start
taking notes now.

163
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,571
You know where class starts,
Millicent?

164
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:44,705
In here.

165
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,807
That's your clavicle.

166
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,876
I just can't wait to learn

167
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,978
everything there is
to know about cars.

168
00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,747
I truly am a renaissance person.

169
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:55,082
But most importantly,

170
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,917
I'm gonna get Vin Diesel
in tip-top shape.

171
00:06:57,017 --> 00:07:00,488
MTV Movie Award winner
for Best Tank Top Vin Diesel?

172
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,790
He's in perfect shape.

173
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,593
Oh, my car's name is Vin Diesel.

174
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:10,430
Yesterday, this guy tried to
charge me $15,000 for repairs.

175
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,999
Ugh, the worst.

176
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,367
But you're gonna love
the instructor of this class.

177
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,203
He is so patient and smart,

178
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,305
and when he shows you
how to do a tune-up,

179
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:21,842
it's almost... tender.

180
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,310
As long as he's honest.

181
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,546
I just can't take
another skeezy scammer,

182
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,047
like that guy I met yesterday.

183
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,817
Skeezy scammer?
Sounds like a jerk.

184
00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:33,521
Yeah, he sure w-- Aah! You.

185
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,723
Hi. Welcome to class, everyone.

186
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,358
Ooh, twinsies.

187
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:45,566
This is your shop?

188
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,467
Yes.
Uh, it was my grandfather's

189
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,236
and then my father's
and now mine.

190
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:50,604
Cars run in the family.

191
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,940
So you earned none of this.

192
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,775
Oh, Regina.

193
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:56,409
Hey, it-it's great
to see you again.

194
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,711
If you take this class
any more times,

195
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,946
you're gonna be
the one teaching it.

196
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,313
Can I take a picture of you?

197
00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,583
Okay, class, let's go ahead
and get started.

198
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,284
You know, this class is a sham.

199
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,986
You're giving people false hope.

200
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,321
'Cause then, when they realize
they can't fix their own cars,

201
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:10,824
they're gonna crawl back to you
and then you can swindle them.

202
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,660
It's just like one of
those restaurants

203
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,195
that gives you free chips
and then charges a ton for guac.

204
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,264
Is that one of
Taco Tina's troubles?

205
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,533
That's not
what's happening here, okay?

206
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,068
I-I just like to empower people

207
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,136
so that they don't need
someone like me to come in

208
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,905
and "vansplain."

209
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,206
[laughs]

210
00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,908
Vansplain!

211
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:31,011
No matter how many times I hear
that, it just gets funnier.

212
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,681
Lady, be cool.

213
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:35,549
First thing I want
to teach you all is

214
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,785
how to monitor
your vehicle's fluids.

215
00:08:37,885 --> 00:08:40,554
So who wants to come up
and help me check the oil?

216
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,957
Please, God,
I never ask for anything.

217
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,993
How about you, Carly?

218
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:47,828
[others groan]

219
00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:49,196
Fine.

220
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:51,231
I was just trying to give
someone else a chance,

221
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,033
since I already know
how to do all this,

222
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,936
but I suppose I can demonstrate
for the good of my peers.

223
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,370
Great.

224
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,507
Then reach on down in
and grab the dipstick.

225
00:09:00,608 --> 00:09:02,943
-Seriously?
-I didn't name it.

226
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:04,978
Not it.

227
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,080
I know.
I was just testing you.

228
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,982
Good job. You passed.

229
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,953
Here, let me just help.

230
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:15,188
Look, I can do it myself.

231
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,223
[screams]

232
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,859
[chuckles]

233
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,694
Okay, class.

234
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,563
Who can tell me
what Carly did wrong?

235
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,904
If this doesn't put Harper
in the right mood

236
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,140
to hear bad news,
I don't know what will.

237
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,543
I snagged the limited edition
Normani Off Balance sneakers

238
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:37,577
she's been coveting.

239
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,413
You wear them on your hands.

240
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,617
And I got this $2,000 bottle
of champagne.

241
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,886
I bought it at an estate sale
of someone who went bankrupt

242
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:48,756
buying $2,000 bottles
of champagne.

243
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:53,260
And I framed this photo of
our least favorite cousin Roxy.

244
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,665
No matter what I do, I'll always
look better in comparison.

245
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,300
-Go to hell, Roxy.
-[door lock clicks]

246
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,602
[gasps] She's here.

247
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:09,076
Hold up.
Flowers? Bubbly?

248
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:13,213
[gasps] Limited edition
Normani Off Balance sneakers!

249
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,582
You wear them on your hands.

250
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,819
You two did all this for me?

251
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:23,356
We did, because we love you,
and we need to tell you...

252
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,826
How happy you are that I got the
styling job with Double Dutch?

253
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,561
[giggles] Wait.
How did you two already hear?

254
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,530
[BOTH]:
You got the job?

255
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,232
You got the job!

256
00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,867
-[squealing]
-[cheering]

257
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,404
Oh! There's even a picture
of Roxy,

258
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:40,473
to remind me
that I'm doing better than her.

259
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,143
My L-F-C-U-M-E-B-M.

260
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,712
L-F-C-U-M-E-B-M?

261
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,781
Least favorite cousin
unless Maeve ever betrays me.

262
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,720
Back from the dumb
auto mechanic class

263
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,222
that I'm never going back to.

264
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,058
Flowers? Bubbly?

265
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:01,762
Normani Off Balance sneakers
that you wear on your hands?

266
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,733
-You got the job! Oh, my God!
-[squealing] Yes! Come here!

267
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,100
Oh, yay!

268
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,936
[all cheering]

269
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,271
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

270
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,506
Okay, okay. Okay.

271
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,008
Now that we're all
in such a good mood,

272
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,745
Maeve has something
she'd like to say.

273
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,848
Harper,
I just want you to know...

274
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,750
...I am so happy for you!

275
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:24,617
-[cheering]
-[laughing]

276
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:26,619
Oh, you know what we need?

277
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,055
A champagne shower.

278
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,490
No, no, no!
That bottle cost more than my...

279
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,192
Oh, I actually have
a strategy meeting

280
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:33,761
with Double Dutch in the studio,
so I can't celebrate right now.

281
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,162
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's smart.

282
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,930
Who do we think we are,
the Chicago Bulls?

283
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:38,799
-[chuckling]
-So, no champy shou shou?

284
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,101
Oh, no, go ahead,
just don't get any on me.

285
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,070
Oh, yeah, do Spencer.

286
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,138
-[mouths]
-Yas!

287
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:49,142
[whooping, laughing]

288
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,449
New plan.

289
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,518
We never tell Harper
I faked my kidnapping.

290
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,920
I don't want to be
the new Roxy.

291
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,356
Fantastic. We go on
happily living our lives.

292
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:05,092
You and I in romantic bliss,

293
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,228
and Harper working her dream job
with Double Dutch.

294
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:13,666
* Did somebody say my name? *

295
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:18,839
* I'm gonna hop,
skip, jump right over *

296
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:23,777
* You guys have
a lot of yogurt. *

297
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,545
-Are you...?
-Double Dutch?

298
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,548
The singer/producer/cult icon,

299
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,884
once described by Pitchfork as

300
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:33,186
"the most innovative star
to be born

301
00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,122
in the year 1994."

302
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:38,125
No shade to Bieber,
but where is the lie?

303
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,128
Yes. C'est moi.

304
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,762
In the flesh.

305
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:45,799
I'm here for my strategy meeting
with Harper.

306
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,302
I guess, uh, on-the-rise
pop stars don't knock.

307
00:12:49,402 --> 00:12:50,737
We don't.

308
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,439
But tell me about
this fake kidnapping.

309
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,007
And use a three-act structure,

310
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,476
a proper hero's journey,
if you will.

311
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,278
Uh, or, or...

312
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,214
how about none of us speak
a word about the kidnapping?

313
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,850
Oh, I won't speak a word.

314
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,117
Okay.

315
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,253
But I do love to sing.

316
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:09,156
[giggles]

317
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:13,026
* Harper's cousin faked
her own kidnapping *

318
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:17,130
* Harper's cousin
faked her own kidnapping. *

319
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,631
Okay, plan A,

320
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:20,667
I somehow keep Double Dutch
from spilling the beans.

321
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,435
Oh, well, then what's plan B?

322
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,271
We go to Honduras

323
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:26,907
under the names
Terrence and Felicity Tacoma.

324
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,910
We settle in the small town
of La Esperanza.

325
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,811
We grow peaches

326
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:33,947
and teach basket-weaving
to the children.

327
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,886
I like peaches,
but let's start with plan A.

328
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:45,058
I don't trust that Wes,
and I don't need that class.

329
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,260
I already have the greatest
teacher in the world:

330
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,495
the Internet.

331
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,130
If I can install
my own ceiling fan,

332
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,099
I can tune up my car.

333
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,533
Great idea, Carly.

334
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,904
I'm sure a 30-second TikTok
can fix this death trap.

335
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,106
Millicent might have a point.

336
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,975
Freddie, just hand me that,
uh, twisty thingy.

337
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,678
-Okay. This is no big deal.
-All right.

338
00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:07,680
-[torquing, thump]
-[Carly shouts]

339
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,716
-No! Ah. No.
-Whoa. Hey! I got you!

340
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,885
-[whimpers]
-Come on.

341
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,887
-Son of a...!
-[horn honks]

342
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,823
You know what?
That's okay.

343
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:18,025
I've almost got it.

344
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:19,492
Freddie,
go check the spark plugs.

345
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,694
-All right.
-Millicent, start him up!

346
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:23,530
[engine struggles]

347
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,032
-[electrical crackling]
-Oh! [yells]

348
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,399
[horn honks]

349
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,901
Millicent, stop that!

350
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:31,138
Then you two stop cussing.

351
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,373
Ooh!

352
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:36,309
Okay. I've got it.

353
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:40,647
Wow. Should I start
my own auto shop?

354
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,415
[clattering]

355
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,318
No, no, no, no!

356
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,987
Vin Diesel, are you okay?

357
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,956
Carly, you need to call
a real mechanic.

358
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,124
-Never in a million...
-[rumbling]

359
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,797
-Hand me my phone.
-Okay. Hold this.

360
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,873
Vin Diesel is dying,
and I need you to save him.

361
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:08,475
I don't care how much it costs.

362
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,443
I'll buy every shock exacerbater
in this town if I have to.

363
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,245
Carly, I told you
when we first met,

364
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,913
you shouldn't be driving
this car, okay?

365
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,148
It-it isn't safe.

366
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:16,249
Why don't you just get
a new one?

367
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,917
Because I...

368
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,752
I just can't, okay?

369
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,421
I can't give up on this car.

370
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,689
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

371
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,457
-And called me names.
-Yes. Right.

372
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:25,758
And should've listened to me
from the start.

373
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,660
Oh. True, I know,
that's why I called you.

374
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,097
I am sorry
for all those things.

375
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:33,166
But I am begging you,
Wes, please,

376
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,868
will you save Vin Diesel?

377
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,771
Okay. I will try.

378
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,541
I'm gonna need you
to do more than try.

379
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,645
[chuckles]: Actually,
trying's fine. You do you.

380
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:48,248
Thank you, Wes.
[chuckles]

381
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:49,949
But do it.

382
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:53,686
The birds represent capitalism.

383
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:56,056
And the white woman
represents...

384
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,490
well, nothing.

385
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,426
-She's just having a bad day.
-Mm-mm.

386
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,261
No birds.

387
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,231
If I can't fly,
no one should be allowed to.

388
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,233
[elevator bell dings]

389
00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:11,404
Who's ready for teatime?

390
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:13,873
Spencer, what are you doing?

391
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,408
Oh, I just thought
you and Dutch might enjoy

392
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,044
a formal tea service.

393
00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,412
And you were right. Give me
one of them hot hand towels.

394
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:21,314
-Ooh.
-Oh, anything for you, Harper,

395
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,183
and your boss,
whose voice is

396
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,018
like a classically-trained
instrument

397
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,586
that she should rest,

398
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,088
which is why I brought the tea.

399
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,689
Ooh. No, thank you.

400
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,025
I don't like beverages that
start with the letter "T."

401
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,494
I'm looking at you, tonic water.

402
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,364
Okay. Thank you, Spencer. Bye.

403
00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,831
[grunts]:
No!

404
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,969
This look represents
the struggle between...

405
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,505
[loud banging]

406
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:49,909
...me and Spencer, apparently.

407
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,579
What is happening and why?

408
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,848
Oh. I just need to do
a few repairs in here.

409
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,317
Is that disruptive?

410
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,120
Yeah, why don't you
just stop the presentation

411
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,089
and then email the slides
to Dutch.

412
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,690
Who else loves this idea?

413
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,158
I don't.

414
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:06,859
I would like the hammering
to stop

415
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,963
and for the presentation
to continue but better.

416
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,702
Get out. Now.

417
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,970
[chuckles]:
All right. Okay.

418
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:20,873
Oh, no! Oh! [groans]

419
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:22,675
I guess I should stay
and clean this up.

420
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:26,079
-Oh.
-How's it going in here?

421
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,248
I spilled the tea.

422
00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:30,450
Oh, Spencer. [stammers]

423
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,553
Harper, I am so sorry
that I faked my kidnapping,

424
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,855
but at least now you know.

425
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,790
You what?

426
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,360
Oh. You meant...

427
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,728
If you'd let me sing it,

428
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,930
at least you would've gotten
a hit out of it.

429
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,802
It's only been three hours

430
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,571
of waiting on Wes
to fix Vin Diesel.

431
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,541
How did you handle waiting
four years for Maeve?

432
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,410
By doing everything I could
to find that betrayer.

433
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,246
You know what, yeah,
that's a good idea.

434
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,747
Keep busy.
Give me some more ideas.

435
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,583
Okay. I took out ads
in the newspaper,

436
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:06,686
I made the hashtag
"Save Maeve" go viral,

437
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,789
I even recorded a charity single
that went to number 27

438
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:13,293
on the iTunes chart
for songs about missing cousins.

439
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:15,228
I don't want to do
any of that.

440
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,763
[knocking]

441
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,199
Okay.

442
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:20,933
Give it to me straight.

443
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:22,302
Did he make it?

444
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,205
I did everything I could,
but I'm sorry.

445
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,106
Vin Diesel's gone.

446
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,875
-[gasps] Oh, no.
-Oh.

447
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:31,511
-Oh, my God.
-Carly, stay with me.

448
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,780
Just because he's gone
doesn't mean you are, too.

449
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,215
[gasping]

450
00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,649
I just can't believe it.

451
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,385
I mean, he was only 50.

452
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,686
We never even got to take

453
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,154
that cross-country
road trip together

454
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:42,789
that we always talked about.

455
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,326
Uh, hey,
I might be overstepping here,

456
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:49,196
but could this be about more
than just a car?

457
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:53,433
It's okay, you can tell me.
Mechanic-client privilege.

458
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,969
My best friend Sam
and I saved up

459
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,439
and bought Vin Diesel together
when I was in college.

460
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,541
She's actually the one
who named him.

461
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,411
We went everywhere in that car.

462
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,546
Road trips to Snoqualmie Falls,

463
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,716
the exotic jerky emporium
over the border in Idaho,

464
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,819
out to the forest
to search for bigfoot.

465
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:15,054
-Did you ever find him?
-Uh, it's a long story.

466
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,724
[whispers]:
But yes.

467
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,261
A couple years ago,
Sam moved away,

468
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:22,895
and I just really miss her.

469
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,832
But whenever I'm
inside Vin Diesel, I...

470
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,768
Okay, I'm just gonna say
"my car" from now on.

471
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:33,940
Driving my car, it just
helps me feel connected to Sam.

472
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,342
I know it sounds silly.

473
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,477
No, it's not.

474
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:39,178
What's silly is having
a connection

475
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,947
and not appreciating it.

476
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:44,717
What's silly is lying
to someone for years

477
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,619
and then telling the truth
to your brand-new boyfriend

478
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,855
before your best friend/cousin!

479
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:50,657
What's silly...

480
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:56,463
...is faking
your own kidnapping.

481
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:59,899
Like, who does that?
Maeve, that's who.

482
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,401
Maeve.

483
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:09,108
So, there's, like, a whole
other thing going on here.

484
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,578
Mind your business.

485
00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,182
Anyway, thanks
for trying to save my car.

486
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,751
Uh, here. Let me see.

487
00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,787
-How much do I owe you?
-No. Nothing.

488
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,755
Put it toward your new car.

489
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:24,991
I don't know.

490
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:27,360
I wasn't really driving
a whole lot lately anyway.

491
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,530
That...
[imitates car straining]

492
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,131
...gets a little tired.

493
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,736
Uh, well,
maybe you don't need a car.

494
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:39,205
For example, if you had a date
on Saturday night,

495
00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:42,008
I bet he would be totally happy
to come pick you up.

496
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:43,910
A hypothetical date?

497
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,579
Well, where is he
hypothetically taking me?

498
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:50,650
Anywhere you
hypothetically want to go.

499
00:20:54,854 --> 00:20:59,292
I believe it was Sir Edmond
Dellingsworth who said,

500
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,694
-"What is a circle?"
-Boo!

501
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,696
Lose the sheet already.

502
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,231
All right, all right.

503
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,367
I just wanted to say something
with some gravitas.

504
00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:10,470
Behold my latest piece!

505
00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:12,405
Wow.

506
00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:13,640
[gasps]

507
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:15,442
Is this Vin Diesel?

508
00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,843
Yep!

509
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,778
I took Carly's old car,
repainted him,

510
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:21,481
and turned it into a new
Seat of Sitting for the studio.

511
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,015
Try saying that five times fast.

512
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,817
[OTHERS]: New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.

513
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,519
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.

514
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,920
New Seat
of Sitting for the studio.

515
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,322
New Seat of Sitting
for the studio.

516
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,657
New Seat
of Sitting for the studio.

517
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,359
Yeah, not that hard, dude.

518
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,827
Oh, my God.
Spencer, this is amazing.

519
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:36,028
Aw.

520
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,531
My car and I had
so many good memories,

521
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,899
and now we get to make more.

522
00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,671
Our secret gum wad's
still there.

523
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:46,606
-Ew.
-Ew.

524
00:21:46,706 --> 00:21:48,307
Sam used this once
to keep our seat belts together.

525
00:21:48,408 --> 00:21:49,909
And another time I used it

526
00:21:50,009 --> 00:21:51,944
to keep my toes apart
after a pedicure.

527
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:56,416
You know, um,
Carly getting a second chance

528
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:59,519
with her car is making me
a little jealous.

529
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:01,621
Oh, 'cause all our cars
got repossessed

530
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,055
when we lost our money.

531
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,324
Well, thanks for ruining
this special moment.

532
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:06,726
I'm sad now.

533
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:09,562
No, because she gets
to make more memories.

534
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,731
And I want that for us.

535
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,866
Harper, I am so sorry
I didn't tell you.

536
00:22:13,966 --> 00:22:15,435
I just didn't know how.

537
00:22:15,535 --> 00:22:20,607
If it means anything,
"Save Maeve" was my ringtone.

538
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:24,143
It was
a tastefully mournful bop.

539
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,849
[BOTH]:
* Be brave for Maeve *

540
00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,184
* She's lost,
not gone forever *

541
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:34,320
* I'll search across
the waves *

542
00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:36,355
* Hope she's not in a grave *

543
00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:38,157
* Save Maeve. *

544
00:22:38,257 --> 00:22:39,792
[giggle]