1 00:00:03,271 --> 00:00:05,773 Millicent, you must be so excited to see your mom. 2 00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:08,909 Yeah, but I'm not excited to eat these "Gwenchiladas." 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,779 I'm pretty sure Mom's recipe doesn't include pineapple. 4 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,514 We're putting our own little spin on it. 5 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,583 Is that spin called colonialism? 6 00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,353 It's actually called a metaphor. 7 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,455 Pineapple's my favorite fruit, 8 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,823 and this is your mom's favorite food. 9 00:00:22,923 --> 00:00:24,625 Yeah, so we're showing how Carly mixes in 10 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,227 without sacrificing any taste. 11 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,696 I'm so glad we waited to tell her about us in person. 12 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:31,632 -I mean, how fun is this? -(squeals softly) 13 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,635 Oh, you want me to answer? 14 00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:36,637 Not fun. 15 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,038 Do you understand what's at stake here? 16 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,641 It's my yearly custody check-in with Gwen. 17 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,810 Only we call it our ecosystem evaluation 18 00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:44,512 because she's a marine biologist. 19 00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:46,647 And Dad's a huge dork. 20 00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:48,616 (chuckles): Guilty. 21 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:50,851 It's just a formality. 22 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:52,486 Your mom wants what's best for you, 23 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,388 which is living on land and going to school 24 00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:57,758 with children, not walruses. 25 00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,593 It's cool that Mom works on a boat, 26 00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,995 but if I ain't captain, I ain't going. 27 00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:06,167 She's gonna love the new addition to your ecosystem. 28 00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,801 Hurricane Carly coming through, 29 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,404 and there's a 40% chance of me fitting in. 30 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,141 Those odds aren't great. 31 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,409 Actually neither is a hurricane in general. 32 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,045 Oh, God, I'm gonna have to live on a boat. 33 00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,013 -(gasps) -(door closes) 34 00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:24,051 Is there a little future she-E-O who misses her mommy? 35 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:26,120 The term she-E-O is patronizing to women, 36 00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:29,157 -but love the effort! Hi! -(gleeful squealing) 37 00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:31,992 (conversing in Spanish) 38 00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:35,496 -You ready? -So ready. 39 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,398 Finally. It was the worst trip ever. 40 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:40,701 The dock was broken, my plane was late, my bags were lost. 41 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,837 BOTH: Hi, Gwen! 42 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,407 It's all my own fault for trying a new airline. 43 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,210 Last time I ever fly Sporit. 44 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:53,447 Carly, I love you, but can we catch up later? 45 00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,583 I want to spend time with just my family. 46 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:59,587 Oh, I helped make lunch, so I was gonna stay. 47 00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,722 What is that smell? 48 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,225 Is that pineapple and beans? 49 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,494 Did somebody adjust my recipe? 50 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,662 Without telling me? 51 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,432 Well, she really just poured the waters, 52 00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,401 so she'll see you later. (laughs nervously) 53 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,503 (whispers): I'm not ready. 54 00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,539 * I know * 55 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,174 * You see * 56 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,510 * Somehow the world will change for me * 57 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,379 * And be so wonderful * 58 00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:29,383 * So wake up the members of my nation * 59 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,385 * It's your time to be * 60 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,388 * There's no chance unless you take one * 61 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:37,291 * And the time to see the brighter side * 62 00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:40,628 * Of every situation * 63 00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,396 * Some things are meant to be * 64 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,933 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 65 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:51,639 (singsongy): Ding-dong, it's your shameful little secret. 66 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,207 I'm sorry, Carly, 67 00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,209 it just wasn't the right time to tell Gwen about us. 68 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,144 If she thinks that there's been too big of a shift 69 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:59,913 in Millicent's ecosystem, she'll take her away. 70 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,683 I forgot how sensitive she is about change. 71 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,618 You know, she has a tattoo that says, 72 00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:05,986 "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." 73 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:07,988 I've never seen that. Where is it? 74 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,156 Uh... 75 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:10,758 Withdrawn. 76 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,261 So, we're just never gonna tell your daughter's mother 77 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:14,995 that we're dating? 78 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,697 I love that idea. 79 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,132 We need to tell her. 80 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,034 The longer we keep a lid on this thing, the worse it'll be. 81 00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:23,337 Like when you forget to empty out your Instant Pot. 82 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:26,707 Wait, is that why you told me to throw that thing away? 83 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:29,943 No. 84 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,814 (straining): Come on. Ah. 85 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:36,384 I got it out. Why can't I get it back in? 86 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,918 (grunts) Screw it. 87 00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:40,821 I'll just say it's art and sell it to some sucker. 88 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,156 Knock, knock. It's me, Lewbert. 89 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,359 I didn't know we had a "knock and enter" kind of relationship. 90 00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:48,429 -Hey, you want to buy some art? -I am on a mission. 91 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,098 Noah had his ark with two of every animal, 92 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,502 and I shall do the same with insects. 93 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,770 -(knocking) -(groaning) 94 00:03:56,870 --> 00:04:00,207 Spencer, drop everything you're doing. We need to talk. 95 00:04:00,308 --> 00:04:02,410 See, now, she and I do have this kind of relationship. 96 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,044 What's up, girl? 97 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:07,781 My so-called affianced wants to build an ark but for insects, 98 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:10,284 which is a terrible idea. 99 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,885 Ooh, is that a big ball of yarn? 100 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:15,289 Talk about your lumbar support. Come to Mama. (laughs) 101 00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:19,091 Lewbert, an insect ark is disgusting, even for you. 102 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,827 Why would you come to me about this? 103 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,664 I would like to pay you an obscene amount of money 104 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,299 to craft said ark. 105 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,801 And now-- just 'cause I've been burned before-- 106 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,638 what's an obscene amount of money to you? 107 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:33,841 No, Spencer. He's bringing bugs everywhere. 108 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,744 Relax, they're professionally contained in plastic. 109 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,480 -How do they breathe? -I poked holes in the lids. 110 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,114 Can't they just crawl out of the holes? 111 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,683 I don't think so? 112 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,687 (Freddie chuckling) 113 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:48,556 I figured out how to tell Gwen. 114 00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:50,023 Table the Kanga-Doom sketch. 115 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:52,593 It's a kangaroo that gives bad news. 116 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:55,062 You didn't get into Penn State. 117 00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:58,332 That's what I spent the last three hours working on? 118 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:04,605 Question. What is at the center of Gwen's ecosystem? 119 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,006 The sun! 120 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,542 No, Millicent. 121 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,779 Which is why I got you... ta-da! 122 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,382 The Twins They Carried. 123 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,917 As I Lay Crowning. 124 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:21,088 Great Expectations (For Mommies). 125 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:23,290 Oh, I get it! 126 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,727 Yeah, I don't get it. 127 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:30,097 We need to show Gwen that cool, childless Carly 128 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,865 is a healthy addition to our ecosystem, 129 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,802 and knowing the basics about parenting can only help. 130 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,103 Although now that I look at these, 131 00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:37,405 it does seem like after the birth, 132 00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,972 you are really on your own. 133 00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:40,808 Well, if you want to show Gwen you're a good addition 134 00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,610 to the family, reading isn't the answer. 135 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,944 Cookouts are. 136 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,779 Say more. I like not reading, 137 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,148 so I'm already leaning towards this idea. 138 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,751 When I was a kid, in my glass tower with my nanny, 139 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,052 I'd look down on the park that we owned, 140 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,587 before we turned it into oil fields-- 141 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,589 R.I.P. Bettencourt Nature Preserve-- 142 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,090 and I'd get so jealous 143 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,826 of all the families having fun together. 144 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,694 One time, I hopped into my waterslide 145 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,329 that went down to the ground floor to join them, 146 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:06,033 but I just ended up in my lotus flower-shaped pool, 147 00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,068 all alone, trying to make out 148 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,672 the words to "Never Too Much" by Luther Vandross. 149 00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:16,009 Maybe go back to therapy? 150 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,778 (high-pitched): Mm-hmm. 151 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,146 But you're right. 152 00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,948 What better way to sell Gwen on our ecosystem 153 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,916 than a good, old-fashioned FaFuDa? 154 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,485 What's a "fa-du-fah"? 155 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,886 BOTH: FaFuDa. 156 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,821 It's clearly an abbreviation for "Family Fun Day." 157 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,757 F-A, F-U, D-A. FaFuDa. 158 00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:32,192 Like "gouda" or "Bermuda" or "zip-a-dee-doo-dah." 159 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:36,363 Or Nobel prize-winning Chilean poet and diplomat Pablo Neruda. 160 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,832 Get it together, my guy. 161 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,301 Yes, a FaFuDa is a great way 162 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,437 to show Gwen that our ecosystem is thriving 163 00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,038 and so is Millicent. 164 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,141 Also, it's the perfect place to tell her about us. 165 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,377 She's gonna have so much fun, she's gonna be all, 166 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:54,247 "Dang, I wish cool, childless Carly was my mom." 167 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:55,683 Whoa. 168 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:58,118 In this ecosystem, Millicent is the sun, 169 00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,220 and I'm not a whole planet like you and Gwen, 170 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,455 but I am the moon. 171 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,892 And you need the moon for the tides. 172 00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:07,828 Okay, Copernicus. (laughs) 173 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:08,929 I'll make T-shirts. 174 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:11,499 Ooh! Can mine be a tank top? 175 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,033 It cannot. 176 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,503 Sorry I'm late, Carly. 177 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:19,973 Uh, Penelope just ended things, and I'm really going through it. 178 00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:22,342 Aw. Breakups can be tough. 179 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,878 -How long were y'all together? -Two hours. 180 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,414 She left in the middle of Avatar. 181 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,817 Yeah. I'm just having a real unlucky streak 182 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:31,451 with dating these days. 183 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:36,990 Hey, um, do you all want to hang out, maybe? 184 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,026 We can't. My ex-wife Gwen's in town. 185 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,161 -We're throwing a FaFuDa. -Yeah, it means family... 186 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,296 Family fun day. It's incredibly clear. 187 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,099 That's a great idea, you know? 188 00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,568 Hang out with the people you love. 189 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,336 Sounds like it could be a real spirit lifter. 190 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:50,671 Yeah. 191 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,406 Um, do you need any help or extra bodies, perhaps? 192 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,776 Nope. I'm good. Take the whole weekend off. 193 00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:57,310 Carly, I need this! 194 00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,880 I am this close to putting on 195 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,815 a shadow puppet show for my landlord. 196 00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:03,784 Again. 197 00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,318 Okay, fine. You can come. 198 00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:08,055 But you have to talk me up big-time to Gwen. 199 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,290 Make sure you play up that I may be childless, 200 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,125 but I'm still cool. 201 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:16,564 Done. Uh, let me just text my landlord. (clears throat) 202 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:18,398 Hey, Norman. 203 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,901 Tonight's performance of shadow puppet Swan Lake is canceled. 204 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,469 Also, my disposal isn't working. 205 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:25,372 Sorry to mix business and pleasure. Send. 206 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:30,978 (elevator bell chimes) 207 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,479 Good evening, puppets. 208 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,648 According to my math, I've got one more wish 209 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,450 before you're released back into your human form. 210 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,890 House of Birth. (scoffs) 211 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,992 A Womb with a View. (scoffs) 212 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:47,527 Anna Placentina. 213 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:51,398 Why would Carly have a bunch of books on pregnancy? Unless... 214 00:08:57,805 --> 00:09:01,208 (screaming) 215 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,924 I'm gonna be a grandfather! 216 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,693 BOTH: Carly's pregnant?! 217 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,029 (all screaming) 218 00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:45,318 Can we take a moment and appreciate 219 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,454 how amazing this ecosystem is? 220 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:49,422 -(chuckles) -This is the perfect environment 221 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,891 to tell Gwen about us. 222 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:52,425 She is going to be so impressed 223 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,128 with how "fu" our "fa" is on this "da." 224 00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:56,596 (both chuckle) 225 00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,531 We've got sushi for Millicent, 226 00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,701 raw unpeeled carrots for my mom, 227 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:05,372 and 18 bottles of wine for seven adults. 228 00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,007 That's for Gwen. 229 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:09,476 So she can get a little loose and be all, 230 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:11,879 "To your relationship." (chuckles) 231 00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,648 Well, I hope you're right because here she comes now. 232 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,017 BOTH: Hi, Gwen! 233 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,352 (chuckles): Welcome to FaFuDa! 234 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,588 Park wine, madam? 235 00:10:21,689 --> 00:10:24,324 No, thanks, I'm doing dry August. 236 00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,526 Oh, and you are doing a great job. 237 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,095 How's dryer? You or the Sahara? 238 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,597 (laughs nervously): You are. You, talk. 239 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,499 Okay, here goes. 240 00:10:32,599 --> 00:10:34,702 Um, Carly and I have some news. 241 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,269 What's up, party people? 242 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,638 I was worried you guys wouldn't have a foam machine. 243 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,440 I guess I was right. 244 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,109 Thank God I'm here. 245 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,845 Oh, shoot, Paul, I forgot you were coming. 246 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,513 I didn't order you a shirt. 247 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:49,683 Oh, and I forgot to be devastated. 248 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,721 Gwen, this is my manager Paul, 249 00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,156 who has a lot of nice things to say about me. 250 00:10:56,857 --> 00:11:00,027 And Paul, this is Gwen, Millicent's mom and my ex-wife. 251 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:01,762 What? (chuckles) 252 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:08,101 How did an unemployed tech has-been get a stunner like you? 253 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,502 Paul. Enchanté. 254 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:12,239 I'm not unemployed. I sold my company. 255 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,841 So, what are you doing now? 256 00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:16,276 Well, I've actually been writing a lot of music. 257 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:21,148 -It's kind of a Celtic/ska hybrid... -And he produces iCarly. 258 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:24,384 -I am a very demanding boss. -Yeah. 259 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,720 -I am always nagging him to... -Mm-hmm. 260 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,621 -...send faxes... -Yeah. 261 00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,024 ...and the like. 262 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:34,127 Can I get a temp check on me calling you a stunner? 263 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,796 Tepid. 264 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,865 Freddie, I can't believe 265 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,399 you didn't tell me you're unemployed. 266 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:42,669 Need I remind you this is an ecosystem based on trust? 267 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:44,371 Trust is our kelp. 268 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,374 Do you know what happens when you take kelp from the ocean? 269 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,278 From context clues, I'd say something bad. 270 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,447 Sometimes you take away the kelp, 271 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,550 and then you add something new, 272 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,519 and it's even better. 273 00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:01,955 You know nothing about science. 274 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,158 I just need a minute to myself. 275 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,761 Oh, lit, I'll go with you. 276 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,798 I feel like he could've done a better job talking you up. 277 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,533 He's just distracting her by being a creepy horndog, 278 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,036 and then he's gonna pivot back to me soon. 279 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:20,140 Welcome to the first inaugural meeting 280 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,876 of the grandparents club. 281 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,744 -(groaning) -Oh, my back. 282 00:12:24,845 --> 00:12:26,579 -Fiber... prunes... -No one ever calls me. -My sciatica is terrible 283 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,748 -this time of year. -Give me some help. 284 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:32,352 My dad couldn't make it, and I didn't invite my granddad. 285 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,921 I'm just so proud of Carly. 286 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:37,090 And Freddie. He's the one who did all the work. 287 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,159 Sounds like he takes after his mother. 288 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:40,527 (both laugh) 289 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:44,764 Now remember, this is a secret club meeting. 290 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,067 Carly and Freddie cannot know we know. 291 00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,670 Ooh, I feel like I'm in the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. 292 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,705 Oh, I'll keep this divine secret. 293 00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,342 Subtlety is my middle name. 294 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,812 But, Spencer, can you stay quiet? 295 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:01,148 Oh, I can keep quiet. I-I have a middle name, too. 296 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,316 -Ask me what it is. -What's your middle name? 297 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,652 I'm not telling 'cause I can keep a secret. 298 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,189 Hey, you two seem to have squashed your bug beef. 299 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,224 Well, obviously we're not gonna have creepies 300 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,827 crawling around the house once the baby is here. 301 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,362 But the bugs won't be anywhere near the baby. 302 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,596 They'll be at our house. 303 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,131 But my house is our house. 304 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,067 But my house is our house. 305 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,070 BOTH: I thought you were moving in with me! 306 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,206 Your vacuums give me nightmares. 307 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:30,643 Looks like I need to suction up someone's dirty attitude. 308 00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,179 I don't like conflict! 309 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,247 Why don't you guys just both move in with me? 310 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:37,885 -Oh, no, I don't think so. -No offense, but I would rather die. 311 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,721 We can't tell Gwen now. 312 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,391 The ecosystem is in shambles. 313 00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,726 We can get this back on track. 314 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,862 The kelp is gonna be out of control in here. 315 00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:51,999 Well, I think that would also be bad. 316 00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,901 Ooh, big problem with the shirts. 317 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:56,669 They're so cute, you literally can't even? 318 00:13:56,769 --> 00:14:00,073 "FaFuPa." Family fun party. 319 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,374 Still works. 320 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,876 But, Carly, it also means... 321 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,245 It rhymes with "chalupa"! 322 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,846 Now I get it! 323 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,949 This is fine. 324 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:10,951 It's gonna be great! 325 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,286 I wish my nanny was here. 326 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:19,426 This Albariño expresses a beautiful salinity, 327 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:20,760 like the ocean. 328 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,196 Reminds me of you... (slurps) 329 00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:24,932 decadent mermaid. 330 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,600 I have legs. 331 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,302 Yeah, you do. 332 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:32,906 But my place smells like Freddie. 333 00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:36,109 But my place smells like a damp couch. 334 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,912 Lewbert, did you bring something for the party? 335 00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:43,816 Two rare Antilles pinktoe tarantulas. Oh. 336 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:46,954 Get control of your man. 337 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:51,658 Hey! You ready for some dope-ass fun? 338 00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,293 Oh, dang, you got foam? 339 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,362 It's on like Catherine of Aragon. 340 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,131 First wife of Henry VIII? 341 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,067 We also have sushi. 342 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,401 Awesome. 343 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,903 Oh, and... shirts. 344 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,239 That ain't it. 345 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,674 Dang it. 346 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,076 Paul, you still want a sh... 347 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,646 Gwen, look, our shirts are matching. 348 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,448 Sign from the universe much? 349 00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:17,184 The universe makes mistakes. 350 00:15:17,284 --> 00:15:18,618 That's what my mom always says. 351 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,687 Do you want to meet her? 352 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:25,225 Gwen, check out the fun, stable ecosystem happening over... 353 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:27,794 -You are my family, and they are my family! -No... 354 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,999 Hey, Millicent, do I look cool? 355 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,401 Sun's out, guns out. 356 00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:37,437 There! Spencer! 357 00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,472 He can be stable. 358 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:40,840 I'm so happy! 359 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,175 Ah! Is that too tight? 360 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,077 Are you okay? How do you feel? 361 00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,413 A little weird right now. 362 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:47,880 Of course you feel weird. 363 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,050 (voice breaking): That makes perfect sense. 364 00:15:50,917 --> 00:15:52,052 I'm gonna get some sushi. 365 00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,421 What? No. You can't have sushi! 366 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:57,124 Spencer, what are you doing? 367 00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:58,790 Just be glad he didn't get to the wine. 368 00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,561 A dry FaFuDa is worse than a dry FaFuPa. 369 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,230 -I'll cheers to that. -No! 370 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:08,735 I don't think my Spotify playlist can save this. 371 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,003 But the foam can. 372 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,005 -Can we get the foam going? -Foam? 373 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,175 Toxic, slippery, sexy foam? (screams) 374 00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,344 Why would you do that? 375 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:18,911 That was FaRuDa. 376 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,847 'Cause, Paul, I'm protecting Carly. 377 00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:24,151 Yes! I beat him! I was discreet 378 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:26,719 about Carly's little meatball in her spaghetti taco, 379 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:31,158 but Spencer just blurted out that Carly's pregnant! 380 00:16:31,258 --> 00:16:33,493 -Congratulations! -What? -(squealing) 381 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,795 -(overlapping chatter) -SPENCER: Hey, hey, hey. 382 00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,365 I've got a whole gender reveal party in the trunk of my car. 383 00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:42,169 Let's start a forest fire and love this kid. 384 00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,004 (chuckles): Is this true? 385 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,806 Are we having a baby together? 386 00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:49,176 No, Freddie. I-I'm not pregnant. 387 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,379 Wait, you two are together? 388 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,848 BOTH: Hi, Gwen. 389 00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:58,585 Yes, we were going to tell you. 390 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,420 -That's why we threw this party, for you. -Yeah. 391 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,124 So, you lied to me about your job, a huge relationship, 392 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,459 all these disruptions to our daughter's environment, 393 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,461 and what? You thought I'd be chill about it 394 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,497 if you threw me some park wine, a FUPA shirt, 395 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:13,900 -and this freaking guy? -Paul. Enchanté. 396 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,167 You know what, Freddie? 397 00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,637 This ecosystem has been evaluated. 398 00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:19,005 Millicent can't stay here. 399 00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,640 Baby, when I leave, 400 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,474 you're coming with me. 401 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,050 Look, you're right. Okay? We should have told you sooner. 402 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,353 But, Gwen, can we please talk about this 403 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:34,921 before you take Millicent away? 404 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,157 Millicent needs a stable environment. 405 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,126 Does this look like that to you? 406 00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,027 First I lose a grandchild, 407 00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:42,729 and now you're gonna take away my niece 408 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,664 at my gender reveal party? 409 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,067 Hey, where is Millicent anyway? 410 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,171 If Carly isn't preggo, let's kick off this foam party. 411 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,840 Inhibitions optional. 412 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:57,777 I've waited 20 years for this family cookout, 413 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:01,148 and you all are ruining it! 414 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:04,851 Wait, am I the stern auntie? 415 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,156 This is not healthy for our daughter. 416 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,657 Gwen, she's happy here. 417 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,660 (overlapping arguing) 418 00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,331 Can I join you? 419 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:20,167 I had a bad case of FOMOOF. 420 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,135 "Fear of Missing Out on Foam." 421 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,237 Yeah, whatever. 422 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:25,438 You okay? 423 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,839 I love a train wreck 424 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,775 but not when I'm a passenger. 425 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,379 Your parents are just trying to figure out what's best for you. 426 00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,113 Then why don't they just ask me? 427 00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,349 "Hey, Mills, would you like to spend your formative years 428 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,785 in the Pacific Garbage Patch?" 429 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,989 Well, would you? 430 00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:46,659 I love my mom, but this is my home. 431 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:50,863 With Dad and Grandma B and the rest of you. 432 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,533 The rest, you say? (chuckles) 433 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,835 Who might that include? (mouths) 434 00:18:56,703 --> 00:19:01,040 Harper, Spencer, Lewbert. 435 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,976 Don't make me say it. 436 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,780 Look, I may not know much about crowns or placentinas, 437 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:12,419 but I do know that if you feel strongly about something, 438 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:15,087 you got to speak up for yourself. 439 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:17,924 Thanks for listening, Carly. 440 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:18,858 I will. 441 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,993 Actually, you already did. 442 00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:24,297 Millicent, I'm sorry we didn't ask you what you wanted. 443 00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,733 Carly, thanks for jumping in. 444 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,001 I'm glad you're part of our ecosystem. 445 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:31,971 This just in, Hurricane Carly dumping 446 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,140 massive amounts of compassion into this pile of foam. 447 00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:35,275 (chuckles) 448 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,511 Millicent, this does seems like the best place for you. 449 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:39,979 Although the Garbage Patch 450 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,081 really does shimmer this time of year. 451 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,084 Aren't you glad we waited to tell you we were together? 452 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,955 Yeah, but in the future, you both have my email. 453 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,459 What a beautiful, touching moment. 454 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,727 I would say, if anyone were pregnant, 455 00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,129 now would be an amazing time to tell me. 456 00:19:57,830 --> 00:20:00,567 Gwen, are you sure you don't want to stay? 457 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:02,369 My building has a business center. 458 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,337 So does my boat. 459 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:07,139 Wi-Fi's got to be spotty. 460 00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:10,543 Thanks, Mom. 461 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,779 -I love you. -I love you, too. 462 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,248 Aw, get in here. You, too, Carly. 463 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,721 Only one more thing we need. 464 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:23,323 Hit it, Luther! 465 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,858 (distorted music plays, speaker crackles) 466 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,561 Oh, whatever, that was Spencer's. 467 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,129 I don't care where we live, 468 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,065 as long as we still get to have moments like these. 469 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,967 We can live at your place, orange rind. 470 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,037 -Yay! That was the right answer. -(chuckles) 471 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,740 Now, one more little point of business. 472 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,875 Has anyone seen my friend Emmett? 473 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:44,877 Little hairy, bit of an introvert, 474 00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:46,279 but really warms up when you get to know him. 475 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:48,147 And also he's a tarantula. 476 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,384 -Run! -(screaming) 477 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:08,200 (screaming) 478 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:18,144 What? 479 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,980 (screaming) 480 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,813 Ooh!