1 00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:05,005 I think it's really sweet 2 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:07,050 that you're throwing this jewelry party for Tinsley. 3 00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,400 I want my best friend and my girlfriend 4 00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,359 to be able to hang out together. 5 00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,927 We can. I mean, sure, it didn't go great at that sip 'n' paint. 6 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,800 I brought lemonade, she brought Banksy. 7 00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:20,281 And you called her Porsche a "Porsh." 8 00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:22,500 Only poor people do that. 9 00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,546 But this is gonna be perfect. 10 00:00:24,676 --> 00:00:27,505 -Just three girlfriends making friendship bracelets. -Mm. 11 00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,291 -Yeah. -What could go wrong? 12 00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:33,816 Sorry to barge, but can someone help with this? 13 00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,426 Oh, I'll help. 14 00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,472 -I love helping friends. -Wonderful. 15 00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:40,040 Just bring it in and put it on the ottoman. 16 00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:43,260 BOTH: Mwah. Mwah. Mwah. 17 00:00:43,391 --> 00:00:47,047 Oh, what is in here? Bricks? 18 00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,745 No! Diamonds. 19 00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:52,356 TINSLEY: Good morning, Tinsley. 20 00:00:52,487 --> 00:00:55,968 You're lovelier than Princess Dianá. 21 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,101 Whose booty did you have to plunder to get these? 22 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:01,670 They're for the jewelry party. 23 00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:05,674 Where we dust our jewels. [scoffs] 24 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:10,809 But I thought... friendship bracelets. 25 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,202 Made of string? 26 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,335 String isn't jewels. 27 00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,728 You do know that string isn't jewels, don't you? 28 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,164 We can do both. 29 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,254 You start weaving, and we'll start 30 00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,777 dusting this necklace that looks like it came from the Titanic. 31 00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,301 -[laughs] -It did. 32 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,698 Wow! These are beautiful. 33 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:30,829 TINSLEY: You like those? 34 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,353 -Take them. -Where? 35 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:36,139 Oh, you mean, like, to have. [laughs] 36 00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,315 -No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. -Please! 37 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,751 No, I couldn't possibly. 38 00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:41,449 I mean, where would I even put them? 39 00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,799 My earring baggie is already pretty full. [laughs] 40 00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,408 Take the earrings. 41 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,020 We'll get you another baggie. 42 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,893 Carly, I swear, if you don't take those, 43 00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,417 I'm gonna toss them out the window at pigeons. 44 00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,332 I beg you. 45 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,595 Harper, have you ever seen me beg? 46 00:01:57,726 --> 00:02:00,729 Not in a way that is appropriate to talk about right now. 47 00:02:00,859 --> 00:02:04,689 Carly, say yes. Yes! Or yup. 48 00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:09,868 Or yeah, or suredledee-doo, or whatever you 99 percenters say. 49 00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:14,482 Okay. [laughs] Suredledee-doo. 50 00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,398 Oh, wonderful. This calls for champagne. 51 00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:20,009 Wow. I hope these weren't expensive. 52 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,489 I think they were, like, 80. 53 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,534 $80? 54 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,667 No. $80,000. 55 00:02:25,797 --> 00:02:28,365 $80,000? 56 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:29,497 I can't. 57 00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,368 Pirates! 58 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,632 ♪ I know♪ 59 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,460 ♪ You see♪ 60 00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,767 ♪ Somehow the world will change for me♪ 61 00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:41,900 ♪ And be so wonderful♪ 62 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,555 ♪ So wake up the members of my nation♪ 63 00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,906 ♪ It's your time to be♪ 64 00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,909 ♪ There's no chance unless you take one♪ 65 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,216 ♪ And the time to see the brighter side♪ 66 00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,959 ♪ Of every situation♪ 67 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,961 ♪ Some things are meant to be♪ 68 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:02,007 ♪ So give your best and leave the rest to me.♪ 69 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:08,710 And Tinsley was just so happy to sip on her fabulous wine 70 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,494 and polish her fabulous jewels. 71 00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:13,149 -It was all just so... -Fabulous? 72 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,195 Exactly. 73 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,371 A perfect party. Thanks, Carly. 74 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:19,373 I finally feel like you two are gelling. 75 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,505 -It couldn't have gone better. -Totally. 76 00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:23,812 -I only fainted once. -[laughs loudly] 77 00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,640 Hey. That's not funny. 78 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:28,164 -I could have hit my head. -You didhit your head. 79 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,557 What? 80 00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:33,256 No, I'm not laughing at your hilarious head injury. 81 00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:37,216 Did you know if you type "funny cat videos" into Google, 82 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,567 there's a lot of stuff? 83 00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,787 I'm making a piece for the Seattle Cat Museum's 84 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,094 -fundraising gala. -Hmm. 85 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,835 "The 20th annual Catillion 86 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,272 benefiting the cats of Seattle." 87 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,274 This year's guest of honor is someone named 88 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,363 -Archduke Lucius Snibbington. SPENCER: Hmm. 89 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:54,799 Snibbles the cat?! 90 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:56,497 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 91 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,412 Spencer's gonna meet Snibbles. 92 00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:00,718 Why don't you come with? You and Freddie can meet Snibbles, too. 93 00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:03,765 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God! 94 00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,419 Spencer, how about you and Millicent just go? 95 00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,768 I feel like you two should spend more time together. 96 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,770 Ah, we just hugged. 97 00:04:09,771 --> 00:04:11,903 I got to go. Tinsley's making her servants bite each other, 98 00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,210 and I got $20 on Wellington. 99 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,430 Thanks again for the party, Carly. 100 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,605 And I'm glad you got a little something 101 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,302 for yourself, too. 102 00:04:19,433 --> 00:04:21,870 Yes, a little something. 103 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,872 A meaningless trinket. 104 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,309 A trifle, really. Bye. [laughs] 105 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:28,355 It is not a trifle! 106 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:32,097 I am in a deep, dark hole of anxiety. 107 00:04:32,228 --> 00:04:34,361 Like the summer I spent in that well? 108 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:39,148 No, like the night Tinsley gave me $80,000 earrings. 109 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,411 -Lemony Snicket. -Whoa, mama. -Pirates. 110 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,500 What am I supposed to do with them? 111 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:45,372 Not go outside, that's for sure. 112 00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,417 You're just going to leave them in a drawer forever? 113 00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,637 No! I have to buy a safe. 114 00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:53,075 I'm seeing a Groupon for two-for-one safes. 115 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:54,903 Does anyone else need a safe? 116 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:57,558 Hey, you're overthinking this, okay? 117 00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,734 I'm sure Tinsley wanted you to have the earrings, and... 118 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,518 Holy friggin' what?! 119 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:04,826 You're right. You have no business with those. 120 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,741 -Maybe I can borrow... -Get back! 121 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,831 These are precious gems. 122 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:14,488 Uh-oh. Look, she's gone full Gollum! 123 00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:16,533 How can I sleep in these earrings 124 00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:19,231 knowing how much good $80,000 could do? 125 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:20,494 You're going to sleep in them? 126 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,496 No, I'm going to leave them out 127 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:26,891 for the burglars who watched me get two safes delivered. Think. 128 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:31,113 Look at these poor cats, living on the streets, 129 00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:33,376 probably turning to booze and drugs. 130 00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:36,248 Yeah. Just like the ones in the musical. 131 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,207 I know. 132 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,775 I can donate the earrings to the silent auction. 133 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:43,255 Then the cats get food and shelter, I can relax, 134 00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,649 and Tinsley never has to know. 135 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,652 Goodbye, my precious. 136 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,611 Great. Let's go down to the Cat Museum 137 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,700 and make the donation right now. 138 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,745 I bet Snibbles will want to meet the young girl 139 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:55,964 who gave such an amazing gift. 140 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,618 I'm that girl. 141 00:05:57,748 --> 00:06:00,142 We'll discuss the details in the car. 142 00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:09,020 How long did it take me to get that smoothie? 143 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,892 [grunting] 144 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,460 Greetings, peasant. 145 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,200 I present to you the newly-constructed 146 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,072 Edin-fur-a Castle. 147 00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,943 Ah, impressive. 148 00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,510 Why aren't you coming to the gala? 149 00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:22,294 Is it because you don't look good in a tux? 150 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,035 I look bad in a men's tux. 151 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,342 I look great in a youth XL. 152 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,213 It's actually because... 153 00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,651 I'm kind of afraid of cats. 154 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,914 I guess it all started when I was a kid. 155 00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,394 Remember that cat that was trapped 156 00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,873 in the walls of the Bushwell? 157 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,528 I used to hear it yowling in the night. 158 00:06:38,659 --> 00:06:40,182 Sometimes I still can. 159 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,227 You know what you need? 160 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,752 Feline exposure therapy. 161 00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,536 -What is feline expos...? -[yells] 162 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,538 [screams] 163 00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:50,627 I don't like it! 164 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,324 I don't like it. 165 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:55,457 Well, then you're gonna hate when I rub my ass on you. 166 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,461 That's what cats do. 167 00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:04,815 And this is the Paw-trait Gallery, 168 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,817 where we'll be hosting our silent auction 169 00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,167 and our meet-and-greet with our VIP-- 170 00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:12,475 very important pussycat. 171 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,564 Is that where Snibbles is gonna be? 172 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,610 Why don't you go take a closer look? 173 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:20,352 This is the best day ever. 174 00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,485 Wow, Myrtle. 175 00:07:22,616 --> 00:07:24,487 Thank you for that private tour of the Cat Museum. 176 00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,663 I had no idea there was a cat pope. 177 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,796 Who do you think converted the Swedes? 178 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,801 I'm just so relieved that you accepted my donation. 179 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:37,195 $80,000 earrings are just not me. 180 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:40,590 I mean, who am I? The cat pope's mistress? 181 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,418 We need more young people 182 00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,420 to take an interest in feline issues. 183 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:48,729 It can't all be skateboards and climate change. 184 00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:52,689 Your donation will save at least a dozen street cats 185 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,822 from booze and drugs. 186 00:07:57,128 --> 00:07:59,043 God bless you, dear. 187 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,917 Wow, Carly. 188 00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,658 You got me behind-the-scenes Snibbles content, 189 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,050 and you helped a charity. 190 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,096 Color me almost impressed. 191 00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:11,491 That was the sweetest backhanded compliment ever. 192 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,842 I did a good thing. 193 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,629 I did a good thing. 194 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,501 You did a very bad thing! 195 00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,503 A very bad thing! 196 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,422 She didn't even want the earrings. 197 00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,163 She literally said she was going to throw them at pigeons. 198 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,688 That's just an expression she overuses because she thinks 199 00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,342 that's what regular people do with their trash! 200 00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:40,215 She probably doesn't even remember the earrings. 201 00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,871 And besides, there's no way she will ever find out 202 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,176 that I donated them to the Catillion. 203 00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:49,224 [gasps] We're all going to the Catillion! 204 00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:51,139 What? How? 205 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,314 What? 206 00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,055 How? 207 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:57,319 Where is that little bebé you spend so much time with? 208 00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:01,236 Millicent? Homework, a movie. Some type of movie homework. 209 00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:02,977 I don't know. 210 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:06,328 You're going to make a great second mom. 211 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,373 Well, drat. I got stuck 212 00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,375 in some chitty-chatty with the little thing, 213 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:13,204 and she was droning on and on about some Catillion. 214 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:16,251 So I bought a seat on the board of the cat charity 215 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:19,428 and a VIP table at the gala so we can all go with her. 216 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,650 The whole friend group, which includes me. [laughs] 217 00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,391 Oh, good. The thing I wanted so desperately 218 00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:29,307 to happen is happening. 219 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:34,574 And the best part is, you'll get to debut your new earrings. 220 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,097 Do you know what this calls for? 221 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:40,057 -More champagne? -More champagne! Oh! 222 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:43,408 -See? We're clicking. -[laughs nervously] 223 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:45,280 Harper, I promise you I will get those earrings back 224 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,760 beforethe gala. 225 00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:49,980 And I promise you... you'd better. 226 00:09:54,768 --> 00:09:56,770 Spencer? You here? 227 00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:00,687 Dude, why are the lights off? 228 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:02,776 -[meows] -[screams gibberish] 229 00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,908 Let the exposure therapy begin. 230 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,041 Check this out. 231 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,655 -[groans] No, thank you. -Okay. 232 00:10:12,786 --> 00:10:14,004 ♪ La-la-la-la...♪ 233 00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,397 -Attack! -[shrieks] 234 00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,225 No, no, stop! 235 00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,009 No! 236 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:21,359 Spencer! 237 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,449 No, no, don't you do it. 238 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,668 Stop. You stop. 239 00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,017 Don't you... Stop. 240 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,412 That was your vase. 241 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:33,371 Meow! Okay, walk. 242 00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:35,286 [Freddie panting] 243 00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:38,507 I'm doing this for Millicent. Aah! Oh. 244 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,378 I'm doing this for Millicent. I'm doing this for Millicent. 245 00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,424 [both scream] 246 00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,774 How do you stop me from scratching your face off?! 247 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:47,168 -Answer now! -I don't know! 248 00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:51,040 Take control, or I will feast on your blood! 249 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,217 Um... I'm in charge! 250 00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:55,002 -Excellent. -What?! 251 00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,179 You understand me a little bit better now. 252 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,181 You will do as I command! 253 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,662 Oh, that was a mistake. 254 00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:03,837 Huh? 255 00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:07,144 -No! No! -[laughing] 256 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,016 -Yeah, what do I want? -To ruin lives? 257 00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:11,235 To make me pee myself? 258 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,934 -Why is this so fun for you?! -[laughing] 259 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,023 [gasps] You want to play. 260 00:11:16,153 --> 00:11:18,112 That's exactly what I want. 261 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,288 Does this mean I'm ready? 262 00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:23,900 -Not even close. Yay! -No! No! 263 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,470 It'll be easy to get the earrings back. 264 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,038 The little old lady in charge of the auction is obsessed with me. 265 00:11:31,168 --> 00:11:33,040 Little old ladies always are. 266 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,172 -It's 'cause we speak the same language. -Oh. 267 00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,000 It's called Granny Chat. 268 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:40,525 Sometimes I wonder why we're friends. 269 00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:43,006 Okay, so I told Tinsley all I wanted 270 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:45,879 for our 14-week anniversary was to reunite The Beatles. 271 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,489 She doesn't know two of them are dead, 272 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,186 so we have some time. 273 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,406 You have to get those earrings back, 274 00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:52,929 even if you have to steal them. 275 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:56,759 Stealing? But that's... wrong. 276 00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,676 Why arewe friends? 277 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,244 Carly Shay, my angel. 278 00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,680 [Carly laughs softly] 279 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,595 It's almost too easy. 280 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,988 Hi, Myrtle. 281 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:11,426 Just in time. Look what I had made. 282 00:12:11,556 --> 00:12:13,254 -Wow. -I hope you don't mind, 283 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,604 we photoshopped in little Butterscotch. 284 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,173 This tiny guy hasn't met a street drug he doesn't like. 285 00:12:19,303 --> 00:12:22,089 I'm talking tango, jackpot, study buddies, 286 00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:25,483 zow, kangaroo, Bob Cratchit. 287 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,225 And thanks to your donation, 288 00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,793 we can finally afford to send him to rehab. 289 00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:32,795 Say "thank you," Butterscotch. 290 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:35,145 [high-pitched voice]: "I love you, Carly. 291 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:39,019 You saved me when no one else would." 292 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:42,718 I love you, too, buddy. 293 00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:45,721 Okay, funny story about the earrings. 294 00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:49,246 I kinda need 'em back. [laughs] 295 00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,335 Right? 296 00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:53,555 So get this. 297 00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:57,254 My friend who gave me the earrings would be really mad 298 00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:59,387 if she knew that I just gave them away, 299 00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:02,085 and I don't want that. [laughs] 300 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,348 I'll tell you what you don't want. 301 00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:07,134 You don't want to wake up in the middle of the night, 302 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:09,527 cold and alone on a road you've never seen, 303 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:11,660 with no phone, no car, 304 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:15,707 no one to call for help, and no way to get home. 305 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,841 In what situation would that happen? 306 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:24,281 Let the cats keep the emeralds, and you never have to find out. 307 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:26,327 Come on, Butterscotch. 308 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:30,374 Let's finish setting up our auction. 309 00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:36,903 Bad news. There is no way that I can... 310 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:40,820 Gah! Tinsley! Gah! 311 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,691 You look so beautiful. 312 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,607 Gah! So do you. 313 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:46,738 Is that a thing we're saying now? 314 00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,392 We're giving it a spin. 315 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:51,395 Gah! Did you hear about The Beatles? 316 00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,354 So sad. 317 00:13:53,484 --> 00:13:56,531 Apparently, two of 'em died. 318 00:13:56,661 --> 00:14:00,361 Carly, I just want to say, about the earrings I gave you... 319 00:14:00,491 --> 00:14:03,755 Oh, you mean my most favorite gift I've ever received? Go on. 320 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,367 They're my way of saying how much it means to me 321 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:09,022 that you've made such an effort to be my friend. 322 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:11,415 -Oh. -Whenever you wear them, 323 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:15,855 think of my Naná Edná, who died clutching them. 324 00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,683 Her most prized possession. 325 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,860 Toodles. 326 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:24,951 I'm gonna steal those earrings. 327 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,127 That's why we're friends. 328 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:35,265 We're gonna pull a jewel heist at a cat ball? 329 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:37,920 I guess I owe that carnival fortune teller an apology. 330 00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:40,923 She told me I'd die in a parade accident. 331 00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,491 Doesn't sound so bad right now. 332 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:45,667 Okay, Harper, you distract Tinsley from the auction table 333 00:14:45,797 --> 00:14:47,625 while we pull the job. 334 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:49,018 Pull the job? 335 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:50,498 That's how criminals talk, doll. 336 00:14:50,628 --> 00:14:52,674 With moxie. 337 00:14:52,804 --> 00:14:54,110 [British accent]: Oi, can I talk like 338 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,112 I'm in a Guy Ritchie movie, love? 339 00:14:57,722 --> 00:14:59,594 [regular voice]: Okay, I'll talk like me. 340 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:00,943 Millicent, you're on Myrtle. 341 00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,380 -Granny Chat her up. -What? 342 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,469 Talk about things she knows. Why is it so cold? 343 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,342 What's wrong with your generation? World War I. 344 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,387 I'll buy the earrings for you 345 00:15:10,518 --> 00:15:12,476 if you can name three countries in that war. 346 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:16,916 Spencer, you're gonna create a massive distraction. 347 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,830 -I was think... -Bup, bup, bup. 348 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,658 I don't need tips on how to become the center of attention. 349 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,008 Carly, you saw how I overshadowed you 350 00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,662 in all of our family photos. 351 00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:28,231 You don't need me to do anything with cats, do you? 352 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:30,973 Not that that would be a problem if you did. I'm very brave. 353 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,193 You're gonna hack into the museum's security, 354 00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,629 disable the alarms and the cameras 355 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:37,197 so I don't get caught. You have your laptop, right? 356 00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:39,547 What? Why would I bring a computer to a...? 357 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,331 Yeah, I brought it. 358 00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,464 Once the alarm's off, I'll grab the earrings, 359 00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,335 wear them while I chat with Tinsley, fake appendicitis, 360 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,033 and then put the earrings back on the table 361 00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:48,686 just in time for the auction. 362 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,036 Harper wins, the cats win, 363 00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:52,168 even that bitch Myrtle wins. 364 00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,604 It's foolproof. 365 00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,651 I foresee no issues with this plan at all. 366 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:01,917 You all set? 367 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:05,138 I am cool as a cucumber, daddy-o. 368 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,183 Aw. Thanks for getting in on my moxie. 369 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,271 [both chuckle] 370 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,272 You're a square gee. 371 00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,795 Oh. [laughs] 372 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:14,538 [classical music playing] 373 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:16,758 Keep it together, Mills. 374 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,803 He's just a cat. 375 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:20,805 Lower your eyes. 376 00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:23,112 You should all be bowing. 377 00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,730 Remember when you said more young people need to take 378 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,733 an interest in feline issues? I'm 12, start talking. 379 00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:39,520 It all began a long time ago when a young cat named Petey 380 00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:43,045 helped the Wright Brothers invent jazz. 381 00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:49,008 Here's to the kitties that live in our cities. 382 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,097 Now let's show them our... 383 00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:53,099 -Harper! -Generosities. 384 00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:54,361 [Tinsley laughs] 385 00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:55,536 [hisses] 386 00:16:55,665 --> 00:16:57,103 [growls] 387 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,760 Adios, cameras. 388 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:06,895 Why is he looking at me? 389 00:17:10,203 --> 00:17:12,683 [Scottish accent]: Welcome, lads and ladies. 390 00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:15,556 I know you're all here to honor Archduke Snibbington, 391 00:17:15,685 --> 00:17:20,647 aka Snibbles, but you've not yet met his court. 392 00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,346 [cats mewing] 393 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,434 -[Freddie screams] -[crowd exclaiming] 394 00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,828 [Spencer laughs] 395 00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:29,439 Yes, run, Cat Sajak! 396 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:31,441 Go, Puma Thurman! 397 00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,096 Flee, Leonardo DeCatsmeow! 398 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:37,230 -Oh, I am their god! -[mewing] 399 00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:41,321 Okay, you mugs. 400 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,453 It's go time. 401 00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,673 Need to disable... alarm. 402 00:17:45,803 --> 00:17:47,718 [cat yowls] 403 00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:50,765 They just want to play. They just want to play. 404 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,812 -[mewing] -[Freddie whimpering] 405 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,294 [alarm sounding] 406 00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:00,514 Thief, robber, 407 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:03,038 dog lover for all I know. 408 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,824 Harper, why are my earrings at the silent auction? 409 00:18:06,955 --> 00:18:09,088 [gasps] Did Carly give them away?! 410 00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,829 I can't lie to you, my sweet. 411 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,267 I have no idea. 412 00:18:14,397 --> 00:18:17,444 -Tinsley, I can explain. -This one really hurt, Carly. 413 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,750 And I've had Gloria Vanderbilt spike a volleyball 414 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,752 straight into my face! 415 00:18:24,712 --> 00:18:27,497 Well, feline exposure therapy was a failure. 416 00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:30,021 And I rubbed my butt on you and everything. 417 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,415 Yeah, you're a good friend. 418 00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:34,809 -Aw. -I know. I don't say it enough, 419 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,593 -but I really do appreciate you trying... -No, shut up, it's a cat. 420 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,204 -What? -[meows] 421 00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,468 It worked! 422 00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,165 [guttural groaning] 423 00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,602 Okay, I can see by your face it did not work. 424 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:48,518 This hell fiend just crawled into my lap 425 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:50,651 because I'm holding his cushion. 426 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:54,742 Get a camera and Millicent. Get Millicent right now! 427 00:18:56,047 --> 00:18:59,225 So, nine lives, huh? 428 00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:01,923 That's nice to have in your back pocket. 429 00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:05,840 You found Snibbles! 430 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,452 This is the best day ever, and you're the best dad ever. 431 00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:10,975 [Freddie gasps] 432 00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:12,238 SPENCER: Okay. 433 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:15,676 Great. Now let's do a silly one. 434 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:17,199 [Freddie whimpers] 435 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,466 We can still get the earrings back. 436 00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,382 Do you know how to do an Act of Congress? 437 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:27,862 Please stop. 438 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,560 I appreciate you trying, 439 00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,475 but you and Tinsley are just too different to be friends. 440 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,998 It's fine. 441 00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:37,132 No. We can make this work. 442 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,612 I'll just hang out with you two separately. 443 00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,701 Tinsley and I will vacation in St. Barts, 444 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:43,138 and you and I will throw our trash at pigeons. 445 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:47,055 You are easily one of the most awful people I've ever met. 446 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,710 You have ruined this event. 447 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,409 And if Butterscotch relapses, that's on you. 448 00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,804 Dang, no need to bring Butterscotch into this. 449 00:19:56,934 --> 00:19:58,327 Who's Butterscotch? 450 00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:01,243 Carly's tiny boyfriend with the fedoras? 451 00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,724 Perhaps you're really the one to blame. 452 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,422 We never should have given you a seat on the board. 453 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,946 I was beguiled by your pretty face and your grotesque fortune, 454 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:10,383 but apparently you don't have the heart 455 00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:12,167 or the integrity to represent our... 456 00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:15,039 Myrtle, that is enough! 457 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,041 You can say what you want about me, 458 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:21,350 but Tinsley has been nothing but generous and gracious to me, 459 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,744 to your charity, and to the cats. 460 00:20:23,874 --> 00:20:27,269 You are... 461 00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:29,880 ...mean! 462 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,318 [hisses] 463 00:20:33,884 --> 00:20:36,322 Tinsley, I am so sorry 464 00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,193 that I gave away your grandmother's earrings. 465 00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,890 All I ever wanted was for the three of us 466 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:41,805 to be able to hang out together. 467 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:44,025 Carly, you strange little duck. 468 00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:45,766 We come from different worlds, 469 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:47,724 but you stood up for me, and that's what matters. 470 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,987 That's what matters? It would have been cool to know that 471 00:20:50,118 --> 00:20:51,598 before I committed grand larceny. 472 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:54,427 You didn't commit. You attempted. 473 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:56,167 Well, I'm committed to buying the earrings 474 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:58,474 for my dear friend Carly. 475 00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:01,085 Naná Edná would have loved your moxie. 476 00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:05,046 Well, I bet Naná and nan-I would have been great friends. 477 00:21:05,176 --> 00:21:08,745 She also said you can have the earrings. So what do you say? 478 00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:11,966 I know, but now I'm gonna have to get a bigger baggie. 479 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,882 I mean, thank you! 480 00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:17,101 Oh! [laughs] 481 00:21:19,147 --> 00:21:21,802 -You look beautiful. -Thanks. 482 00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,499 -I feel beautiful. -Hmm. 483 00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:25,545 I get so tired of the food at these things. 484 00:21:25,675 --> 00:21:27,024 It's always the same. 485 00:21:27,155 --> 00:21:30,637 Yes, the same old... saucer of milk? 486 00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:32,943 How are we supposed to...? 487 00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:35,555 [gulping] 488 00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:37,513 I like it. 489 00:21:40,603 --> 00:21:42,344 [all gulping] 490 00:22:13,027 --> 00:22:15,029 Ooh!