1 00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,440 Wherefore art thou new red lipstick? 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,178 Deny thy pigment and refuse thy gloss. 3 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,346 (pops lips) It's matte. 4 00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:15,283 And we're clear. 5 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,251 Excellent sketch, milady. 6 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,320 You flatter me, good sirrah. 7 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,621 (both laugh) 8 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,556 But in a professional, dignified way 9 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:24,658 that's totally appropriate for two adult friends. 10 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,861 (laughs): Thou hast hit it. 11 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,231 How you doing, kid? 12 00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,732 Any sign of your knees buckling? 13 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:34,068 You want me to strap you to a board like Hannibal Lecter? 14 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,637 I'd say I'm good for someone who recently realized 15 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,206 she has feelings for her best friend, 16 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,507 but he just went through a breakup 17 00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,841 and wants to focus on our friendship, 18 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,743 which she totally agrees is the right call! 19 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:46,080 Cool, you seem fine. 20 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,615 (phone beeping) 21 00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,483 FREDDIE: (groans) Make it stop. 22 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,585 We get it, an elder is in danger. 23 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:54,222 Huh. No, it's just trying to get me to do the next stupid update. 24 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,256 Doesn't matter. 25 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:56,890 (scoffs) Doesn't matter? 26 00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,261 The last update put the calendar notifications on the bottom. 27 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,196 Who knows what they'll dream up next. 28 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,465 (laughs) You can't keep it together 29 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,468 'cause of this ham sandwich? 30 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,702 Okay, it's ready! 31 00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:11,439 Time to test my latest sculpture. 32 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:13,241 I call it-- mm-- 33 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:14,908 Memory Lane. 34 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,113 -Ooh. (laughs) -Thanks. 35 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,515 (gasping, grunting) 36 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,920 -Uh... -Is this memory from when you were blackout drunk? 37 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,123 * I know * 38 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,758 * You see * 39 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,926 * Somehow the world will change for me * 40 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,996 * And be so wonderful * 41 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,800 * So wake up the members of my nation * 42 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,002 * It's your time to be * 43 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,005 * There's no chance unless you take one * 44 00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:47,708 * And the time to see the brighter side * 45 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:51,011 * Of every situation * 46 00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,979 * Some things are meant to be * 47 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,550 * So give your best and leave the rest to me. * 48 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,923 Live, damn you! 49 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,526 Carly, the surge killed your phone. 50 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,261 It's time to let go. 51 00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,463 Fine. 52 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,267 -Let's call it. -It's okay. 53 00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,236 We'll go to the Pear Store, and we'll get you a new phone. 54 00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,738 -I'm an honorary genius there. -You get a discount? 55 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,374 No, actually, I pay a little more. 56 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,443 Okay, I'll get my backup. 57 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:26,247 Hey, h-have you guys seen my hard drive? 58 00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:29,350 It has all my photos from the last 15 years on it. 59 00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,719 It's purple with glitter, and it's labeled 60 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,588 "Carly's Bitchin' Purple Hard Drive." 61 00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,890 (scoffs) 62 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:40,861 Spencer, you used my actual backups for your sculpture? 63 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:43,430 Why couldn't you just use an empty hard drive? 64 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:47,768 If the hard drives were empty, the meaning would be, too. 65 00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,804 Hey, you still have a backup in the cloud, right? 66 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,673 You know I don't trust the cloud. 67 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,242 How does it even work? 68 00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,942 You throw your phone in the sky and wait for it to rain? 69 00:02:56,043 --> 00:03:00,448 Mm, that's an oversimplification, probably. 70 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:05,719 Oh, my God, it's really gone, all of my photos. 71 00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:08,088 It's okay, it's okay. We can fix this. We'll... 72 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,357 recreate your memories. 73 00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:11,058 How? Are you gonna give me amnesia 74 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:14,328 so I can reexperience everything for the first time? 75 00:03:14,428 --> 00:03:18,098 Wait. Did you already do that and I already had this idea? 76 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:22,002 No. We'll act out your favorite moments and take new photos. 77 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:26,874 Good sir, you would do such a thing for me? 78 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:31,545 Carly, I wouldst do anything for thee, milady. 79 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,046 My man. (laughs) 80 00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,615 Oh. Excelsior. 81 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,083 Nonny Nonny. (laughs) 82 00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:37,251 Ooh, tell me. 83 00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,620 -Crumpet. (laughs) -Ooh, for who? 84 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,322 Oh, my God, another blackout? 85 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:45,393 No, I just needed that to stop. 86 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,127 * Come on * 87 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,363 * Yes, I can, yes, we can * 88 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:52,199 * Watch us, we're unstoppable, so clap your hands * 89 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,968 -* Listen up. * -(music stops) 90 00:03:55,067 --> 00:03:57,805 Excuse you! Don't you knock? 91 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,708 Literally not once in the entire time you've known me. 92 00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,244 I don't want to alarm you, but it's an emergency. 93 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:05,513 Is it? 94 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,448 You also said it was an emergency 95 00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:09,450 when Queen Elizabeth was trending. 96 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,285 She died. 97 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,587 And they replaced her with some new guy. 98 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,255 See? Everything is fine. 99 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:20,728 Everything is not fine. 100 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:23,831 I bought the first dress I tried on. 101 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,198 Can you believe it? 102 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,767 Oh, I believe it. 103 00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:30,103 -So, you'll help? -When a doctor sees a passenger 104 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,605 on a plane having a heart attack, 105 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,474 do they have any choice but to act? 106 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,509 You think what you do is like surgery? 107 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,845 In some ways, it's harder. 108 00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:40,348 (sputters) 109 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:43,250 Can I just ask... (laughs) 110 00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:45,353 "Naughty girl?" 111 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,220 Isn't it so feminist? 112 00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:50,057 Yeah. What-what do you think "feminist" means? 113 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:54,495 (sighs) For years, I was only seen as someone's mom, 114 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:56,129 then someone's grandma. 115 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:59,400 But with my Lewbie, I'm my own magnificent, 116 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,134 sexually empowered being. 117 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:04,505 Finally... (deep inhale) I'm Marissa. 118 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:08,041 And Marissa is a naughty girl. 119 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:12,212 Oh, damn. That's exactly what feminist means. 120 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,849 Well, what if we just gave you some options? 121 00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,885 Ooh, that I can vote on? (gasps) 122 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:20,821 -Yeah. -I'm like a suffragette. 123 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:24,892 Focus. 124 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,660 I'm worried recreating these memories is 125 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,596 just gonna make me want to kiss Freddie on his big stupid face. 126 00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,765 I don't know why I called his face stupid, I like it so much. 127 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,301 You sure you don't want to tell him how you feel? 128 00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:35,736 You'd be great together. 129 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,571 No. I just want to get through these memories 130 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,272 with as little pain as possible. 131 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:40,707 Then give me that list. 132 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,843 Nope. Nope! 133 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,879 The time you slow danced at Nevel Papperman's wedding? 134 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,515 Oh, my sweet Carly, 135 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:50,683 so pure of heart, so simple of mind. 136 00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,953 You need someone who can pick 137 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,923 the most disgusting memories of all time. 138 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,126 Now you see why I came to you. 139 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:03,130 All right, who's ready to make some memories?! 140 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,533 Okay. 141 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,568 Carly, wake up! 142 00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:10,303 (both screaming) 143 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,205 Did I really scare you? 144 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,841 You could never scare me. 145 00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:17,411 Ah! Damn it, people, back to one! 146 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:20,514 Do we really need to recreate the time 147 00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:23,216 my mom put cloud block on me in front of the whole school? 148 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,385 Yes, we do, Fredward. 149 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,258 (groans) Pretty gross, huh? 150 00:06:32,359 --> 00:06:33,894 Disgusting. 151 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,697 From the top, people! 152 00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,135 You can do better than this. 153 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,706 Maybe you didn't hear me. I said, "Better." 154 00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:48,909 I look like I'm going to the Oscars. 155 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,811 Too bad this is for my wedding. 156 00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,315 I get why the fans like Baggles more than me. 157 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,450 He's pretty cute. 158 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,319 (groans) Still cute? 159 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,755 (maniacal laughing) 160 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:05,893 (chuckles) Adorable. 161 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,296 I can't work in these conditions! 162 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,366 Are you ready to say wow to the gown? 163 00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,937 She's the one. 164 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,509 Yeah, work the trash. 165 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,577 Be the trash. 166 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,378 You are the trash. 167 00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,314 Wait, I'm the trash? 168 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:28,882 You are not the trash. 169 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,352 * Living without you... * 170 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,756 Hey, wasn't this the song that was playing when... 171 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,692 When we slow danced here after that terrible school dance? 172 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,127 (chuckles): Yeah. 173 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,932 Would you maybe want to... 174 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,067 you know, just to get the photo. 175 00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:50,604 I guess, just for the photo. 176 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,874 * And if you want my heart * 177 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:57,578 * Just let me know * 178 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,312 * 'Cause you were meant * 179 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,582 * 'Cause you were meant for me... * 180 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,483 You know what I just realized? 181 00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:04,752 What? 182 00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:08,221 There's no one here to take a picture. 183 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,625 * * 184 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:16,296 (rhythmically): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 185 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:17,531 No! 186 00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,535 * * 187 00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:28,842 I tried everything I could think of. 188 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,611 Some people don't want to be helped. 189 00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:33,446 They just want to be naughty girls. 190 00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,448 I never thought of my sister that way, 191 00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,384 but I guess you're not wrong. 192 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,620 Who gets the best big brother award? 193 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,254 (imitating air horn) 194 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,890 -(chuckles) -How can you... (imitating air horn) 195 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:45,125 at a time like this? 196 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,493 When our plan was a total failure? 197 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,896 Exactly! Look, forget the old plan. 198 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,164 When Freddie called me trash and asked me to dance, 199 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,600 it opened the door a crack, 200 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,602 and now I am going to kick it down. 201 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,136 So you're gonna tell Freddie how you feel? 202 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,504 Please, Harper. 203 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,239 I'm giddy, not stupid. 204 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:00,674 The ball's in Freddie's court. 205 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,143 But if I set up the perfect romantic memory, 206 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,679 -he'll confess how he feels. -SPENCER: Ooh! 207 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,214 You could use one of those memories 208 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,682 I vetoed from your list! 209 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,651 Don't ask me for help. 210 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,352 I couldn't even get Mrs. B to fall in love 211 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,487 with a gown by Pino Pino Firenze. 212 00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:17,424 (gasps) Firenze. 213 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,860 Hello. 214 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,762 I'm ready to recreate the time I met Paul. 215 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,496 New plan. Take off the chicken suit, 216 00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,798 put on a regular suit, 217 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,133 and meet me at Spencer's in three hours. 218 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,235 -What's the new memory? -It's a surprise. 219 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,170 Oh? A surprise? 220 00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,905 Yeah, a surprise. 221 00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,974 Ooh, surprise me. 222 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,180 (door closes) 223 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,682 Spencer, we have to turn your apartment 224 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,383 into a romantic café, pronto. 225 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,253 We're gonna recreate the memory of Freddie visiting me in Italy. 226 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,922 Ah, you ruined the surprise. 227 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,730 Finally, question 50. 228 00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,767 What is your favorite outfit you've ever worn? 229 00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,969 Probably my nightgowns. 230 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:04,471 They make me feel so deliciously chaste. 231 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:07,374 Like Stevie Nicks in a convent. 232 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,577 The landslide definitely brought you down. 233 00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,614 According to this quiz, your style icons are... 234 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,017 Chrissy Teigen, Angela Merkel, 235 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:21,188 and the girl who crawls out the TV in The Ring. 236 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,956 I appreciate your help, 237 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,125 but I already found my dream gown. 238 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,195 Plus, I was gonna keep this a surprise, 239 00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:31,965 but I ordered the designer's bridesmaids dresses, too. 240 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:36,770 Harper, you're gonna be one of my naughty girl-ettes! 241 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,940 Perfect. 242 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,811 Oh, no! My God, no. 243 00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:47,280 The son of the bride can't see the dress before the wedding! 244 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,082 Now what am I gonna wear? 245 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:52,953 (yelling, crying) 246 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:57,324 Freddie, my angel. (squeals) 247 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,659 (grunts) 248 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,629 Wow, I look really good in this suit. 249 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:05,799 Wait, did my mom's wedding dress say "Naughty Girl"? 250 00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,468 * * 251 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,570 (singing in Italian) 252 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,840 Okay, let's go through the plan. 253 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:14,775 One, Freddie comes in 254 00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,177 and is obviously blown away when he realizes 255 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:20,547 we're recreating our amazing night in Italy. 256 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:23,283 Two, I mention the adorable Italian grandpa 257 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,152 that came up and asked to take our picture. 258 00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:29,890 (Italian accent): Eh? Ah, look at the beautiful young ones. 259 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,759 You must let me take your photo. 260 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,160 Say, "Cent'anni." 261 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:34,361 (normal voice): What does that mean again? 262 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,562 Oh, it's an Italian toast. 263 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,464 "May you live for 100 years." 264 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,165 Thank you. I plan to. 265 00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,934 Then you take our photo, 266 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,136 and Freddie is overcome with emotion, 267 00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:46,339 and then he confesses his feelings, and... 268 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,009 I don't know, doves, probably. 269 00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,679 -(knocking) -Oh, my God, he's here. It's him. 270 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,148 E-Everything has to be perfect! 271 00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,184 This plate is dirty! 272 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,954 Come in. 273 00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,992 Hey. (chuckles) Nice suit. 274 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,760 Wow, that dress. 275 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,996 Do you remember the night I wore it? 276 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,900 (scoffs) Is this... 277 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,667 From when you came to Italy. 278 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:16,970 We got all dressed up for that fancy dinner, 279 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,505 but then the restaurant was closed 280 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,940 for the feast day of Saint Geppetto, 281 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,342 the patron saint of little wooden boys. 282 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,578 And then we took a walk by the river, 283 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,714 and we found that café, 284 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:28,949 and that cute little old man came up 285 00:12:29,049 --> 00:12:30,617 and asked to take our photo? 286 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:33,653 (Italian accent): Eh? Ah, look at the beautiful young ones. 287 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,089 You must let me take your photo. 288 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,091 And I said, "Say, parmigiana." 289 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:41,361 -No. Here we say, "Cent'anni." -(camera clicks) 290 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,396 And I said, "That's perfect, 291 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,799 "because I could live 100 years 292 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,136 and never find a friend like you." 293 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,872 I can't believe you did this. 294 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,241 Does that mean... 295 00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:58,578 I can't believe you recreated the worst night of my life. 296 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,948 Huh? 297 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,984 That's not how it happened at all. 298 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,853 Right before you left for Italy, 299 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,355 you kissed me, remember? 300 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,622 Yeah. 301 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,158 And after you moved, 302 00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,426 you were so lonely, we talked for hours every day. 303 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,229 And I planned that fancy dinner because I was gonna ask you 304 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,564 to be my girlfriend. 305 00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:19,599 What? 306 00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,268 But you never said that. 307 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,670 Right, 'cause that old man came along. 308 00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,572 (Italian accent): This old man? Ha! 309 00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:28,108 I sit down now. Scusi. 310 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,145 He said, "Aw, look at the beautiful couple." 311 00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:34,181 (sighs) 312 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,582 And you laughed. 313 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:39,252 You said, "No, definitely not a couple. 314 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,488 Friends. Amici." 315 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,858 But you weren't upset. You were fine. 316 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,594 We ate gelato, until that text. 317 00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,296 My family emergency? 318 00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:50,898 Yeah, I made that up. 319 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,401 I slept at the airport until I could get a flight home. 320 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,103 You slept at the airport? 321 00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:59,506 And I swore I would never let you string me along again. 322 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:04,044 Freddie, I'm sorry, but I did not string you along. 323 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,114 You kissed me, and then a month later, 324 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,616 you laughed at the idea of us being a couple. 325 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,751 I laughed because I was uncomfortable. 326 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,320 You said that in 100 years, 327 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,222 I could only ever be your friend. 328 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:19,026 I said that our friendship was the most important of my life. 329 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:21,929 That meant something to me. 330 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,863 But, I guess to you, 331 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,733 being my friend is just a consolation prize. 332 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,736 (Italian accent): Oh, House of Gucci. 333 00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,239 That's not fair. 334 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,641 No, it's not fair that you made me the bad guy 335 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,277 for all these years just because I didn't like you back. 336 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,580 If you didn't like me, why did you kiss me? 337 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,582 To give us closure. 338 00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,251 So we could both move on! 339 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:47,988 Oh, well, gee. Thank you for the closure. 340 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:51,058 That was awfully generous of you. 341 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,026 Freddie! 342 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,865 I-I can't believe this. 343 00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:01,201 * * 344 00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:17,617 Wow, you are hitting the needle hard. 345 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,021 -I'm making a scarf. -Hmm. 346 00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:28,895 It should be longer, right? 347 00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:32,332 I regret walking into this energy. 348 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,635 Do you think that I should just talk to Freddie? 349 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,538 -Carly, you... -I mean, I would send him a funny meme to break the ice, 350 00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,273 but I don't have a phone. 351 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,908 Would you print off "the girl in front of a burning house" meme, 352 00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:44,177 so I could just tape it to his door? 353 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,812 Carly. 354 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,680 But then it's, like, do I even want to talk to Freddie? 355 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,149 Maybe I'm still mad at Freddie. 356 00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,550 Or is how mad I am at Freddie just because of 357 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,352 -how much I like Freddie? -Carly! 358 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,920 Enough! 359 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:57,157 Are you going to tell Freddie you like him or not? 360 00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,891 He knows. He has to know. 361 00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,294 I mean, maybe I didn't say it with literal words, but-- 362 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,796 (gasps) Oh, my God, he might not know. 363 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,733 Carly, if you want to be with Freddie, 364 00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,402 you have to be an adult and tell him how you feel. 365 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:12,905 (baby voice): But I'm a-scared. 366 00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:16,209 You will not be my best friend and use that baby voice. 367 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,079 (baby voice): Can I be your second best friend? 368 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:22,382 (normal voice): Look, if I tell him how I feel, 369 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,651 and he doesn't reciprocate... 370 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,519 I mean, you saw how bad I freaked out 371 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,655 when I lost pictures of Freddie. 372 00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,424 But to lose the actual person? 373 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,360 I don't know if I could handle that. 374 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,163 Damn. That's a good point. 375 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,631 Maybe we are better as friends. 376 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:42,069 It's so comfortable. We just fit. 377 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,271 Oh! 378 00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:45,505 Did you solve my problem? 379 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:48,540 Better, I solved my problem. 380 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,944 I'm gonna be better about asking what's going on with you. 381 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,583 Do you want eggs or something different? 382 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,485 I want a lot of things to be different. 383 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,053 (door opens) 384 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:04,491 Wow, you're still in that dress. 385 00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:06,393 I can't wear it to my wedding, 386 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,127 but at least I can get my money's worth. 387 00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,363 It works for so many occasions. 388 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,763 Name two. 389 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,734 Out of the lucid nightmare we all went through yesterday, 390 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,770 I had a new idea for your dress. 391 00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,607 On your wedding day, you want to feel beautiful 392 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:24,544 but comfortable, sexy but chaste. 393 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:27,079 Exactly like... 394 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,517 ALL: Stevie Nicks in a convent at a wedding! 395 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,885 -(squealing) -I love it. 396 00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,422 Are you ready to say wow to the gown? 397 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,689 That depends. 398 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,891 Will you say wow to designing the gown? 399 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:40,760 Oh, I'll do it! 400 00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,396 But it's going to be very expensive. 401 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:44,731 That's okay. 402 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,500 This naughty girl is worth it. 403 00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,407 -Cappuccino? -It's a flat white. 404 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,609 (groans) 405 00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:58,745 Can nothing go right?! 406 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,981 Is that your suit from last night? 407 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,417 I couldn't sleep, so I took a walk. 408 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,918 Finally passed out on my couch 409 00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,288 after nine episodes of Toledo House Flip. 410 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,322 Oh, did they flip it? 411 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,890 They always flip it. 412 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,694 I keep going over last night. 413 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,963 God, Carly planned this beautiful moment. 414 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,866 Technically, Spencer did most of the work. 415 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,002 And I ruined it. 416 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,672 I got stuck in the past, you know? 417 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,174 How much it hurt when we were kids 418 00:18:27,274 --> 00:18:29,676 and Carly rejected me. 419 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,946 It was like there was this huge sign-- "Just Friends." 420 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:39,186 And I hate that that made me so angry. 421 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:42,522 Because I love being Carly's friend. 422 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,960 Have you talked to her today? Is she okay? 423 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,930 Honestly, last night really freaked her out. 424 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,300 She's worried you don't want to be friends at all. 425 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,701 What? 426 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,069 I-I have to see her. Is she home? 427 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,172 She left a note for you up in the studio. 428 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,107 (exhales sharply) 429 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,148 * * 430 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,584 (door closes) 431 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:13,853 How did you... 432 00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:17,224 I had Socko's cousin, Gizmo, fix my hard drive. 433 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:21,728 We've spent so much time on bad memories the last couple days, 434 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,431 I thought we owed it to ourselves 435 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,799 to look at some good ones. 436 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,937 Oh, my God. I could be my son. 437 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:33,506 Don't you remember? 438 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:36,209 That was the day that you named iCarly. 439 00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:41,214 I, Internet. Carly, you. 440 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:45,285 -But who else would've thought to put them together? -(laughs) 441 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,188 You were the one who named the show in the first place, 442 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:53,192 and you were the one who told me I could do it on my own. 443 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,696 You jumped in front of a taco truck to save my life. 444 00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:59,466 And then you said we should wait to date 445 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:03,135 until the whole "hero" thing wore off, except... 446 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:08,241 Freddie, you're still my hero. 447 00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:13,112 You're the person who I can always count on. 448 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:16,182 You're the person who makes me laugh, 449 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:18,385 and you're the person who pushes me to do the things 450 00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:21,688 that I need to do, even when I really don't want to. 451 00:20:21,788 --> 00:20:23,756 Like updating your phone? 452 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,325 Too soon, but yes. 453 00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:31,898 And since I've never actually said it... 454 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,233 and you deserve to hear it. 455 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:36,736 And... 456 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,373 Okay, good talk. 457 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:42,942 Hey. 458 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,078 You can do this. 459 00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:52,285 I like you, Freddie Benson. 460 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,754 And I want to be with you. 461 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:02,395 Carly, I need you to know... 462 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:09,268 ...being your friend is not a consolation prize. 463 00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:14,106 It is the best thing that I get to be. 464 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:22,515 If we try this, and it doesn't work... 465 00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,884 I can't lose you. 466 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:31,090 I promise, no matter what, you never will. 467 00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,429 Is this really happening? 468 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,264 I hope so. 469 00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:41,434 It took us long enough. 470 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,704 * * 471 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:54,313 Ooh, let's do that again. 472 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:56,182 In five, four... 473 00:21:56,282 --> 00:21:58,317 * * 474 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,124 A magnificent performance. 475 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:07,293 Right up there with my work as "brother/friend 476 00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:09,696 who convinces Freddie that Carly doesn't like him." 477 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:11,230 Milady. 478 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,399 My man. 479 00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:13,933 -(both chuckle) -Ew. 480 00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,702 We do not need to see that. 481 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,704 Don't listen to the haters, kids. 482 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,072 We can all be naughty girls together. 483 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:21,073 (laughs) 484 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,910 I don't want to kiss anymore. 485 00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:56,609 Ooh!