1 00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,747 -It was just another day as a crotch beetle 2 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,097 in Trophy's vagina. 3 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,055 I believe it was a Friday. 4 00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:15,102 Everyone was business as usual -- replacing fluids, 5 00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,365 removing stray bottle caps, that sort of thing. 6 00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,193 Everyone but me. 7 00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,412 Me, I've always been a dreamer. 8 00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,674 Hey, Norma... 9 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,328 you ever wonder what it'd be like 10 00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:28,332 to venture into the great, wide, non-vaginal world beyond? 11 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,552 - Whaddaya mean? The feet? - No, I mean... 12 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:31,814 out there! 13 00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,555 - No, why would I? 14 00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:37,080 Trophy's roomy ladycave contains everything we could ever need -- 15 00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:40,736 shelter, barbiturates, Fun Hat Fridays -- 16 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,042 - The basics, yes. 17 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,826 But don't you have dreams? 18 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,307 - Hat on, Martina! 19 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,004 Stop your whimsy! 20 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,572 Remember whose vag you're living in. 21 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:54,184 -I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but one day... 22 00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:57,274 I'm gonna live in a little crotch of my very own. 23 00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:30,655 Is that any good? 24 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,354 - Good morning, students. 25 00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,618 I'm Mr. BJ Educator, your substitute teacher. 26 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,142 So, for the rest of the year, we'll be watching 27 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:44,234 the thought-provoking film "Remember the Titans." 28 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,845 - But we're already watching it in science class. 29 00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,456 Mrs. Gilman is going through a divorce, 30 00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,458 and it's the best she can do right now. 31 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,677 -Principal Shepler here with your Thank the Lord 32 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,506 and Savior Jesus Christ It's Friday announcements! 33 00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:58,422 Coach Kitman's trial will be broadcast live 34 00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,250 in the auditorium on Monday. 35 00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,034 Wear green if you think he's guilty 36 00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,168 and blue if you have first-hand knowledge of his guilt. 37 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:08,432 So, we're canceling tonight's football game and pep rally 38 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:11,392 and showing the film "Remember the Titans" instead. 39 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:15,135 Hope you remember to bring your school spirit. 40 00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,442 - At this point, I'd really like to forget the Titans. 41 00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:21,271 - If I forget the Titans, will you please remind me? 42 00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,881 - Ha! You're fun. 43 00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,841 - Sometimes, life is fun for no reason at all. 44 00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:30,411 I know it'll be lame, but want to sit with me tonight? 45 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,239 - I don't scratch my head unless it itches, 46 00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,241 I don't dance unless I hear some music, 47 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:37,635 and I don't go to the movies unless someone asks me! 48 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,681 - Sweet Denzel impresh! 49 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,248 You do anyone else? 50 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,294 - Isn't it ironic... but I don't. 51 00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:47,776 - Can't wait for you to meet my peeps. 52 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,431 - I mean, Javi and I have texted about homework four times, 53 00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,563 sat at the same table at lunch three times, 54 00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:55,087 and today, they asked me to friend third base -- 55 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,046 watching a movie at night. 56 00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,309 - Sorry, hon, I need you to babysit the beetles tonight. 57 00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:03,270 I've got my first real date date post-resurrection, 58 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:06,360 and I can't have bugs in my jelly roll. 59 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,926 - But you know I've always dreamed 60 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,754 of being part of a squad. 61 00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,147 That's not fair. 62 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,670 -I'm not fair, Annie. 63 00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,150 This guy could be the one. 64 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,370 He's a..."art clown". 65 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,459 Real stepdad material! 66 00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,722 - Can't Baba or Pete watch the beetles? 67 00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,158 - It's Friday, Annie. 68 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,421 Old country mother/son date night. 69 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,771 - Oh, right. But don't you need the beetles 70 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,470 to stop you from literally falling apart? 71 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,515 - I have no idea, Annie. 72 00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:35,911 My body is a mystery only an art clown can solve. 73 00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,740 - Why did I think this Friday would be any different? 74 00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,524 "Annie, babysit the beetles. 75 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:43,135 Annie, wear this wig and meet with my parole officer. 76 00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:46,313 Annie, go make another season of 'Mad Men.' I'm bored." 77 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,837 I'm so mad, I could sigh! 78 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,317 - Yikes. 79 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,449 Trophy doesn't call her "The Drain" for nothing. 80 00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,798 - Annie's not a drain. 81 00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,279 She's a faucet of hopes and dreams. 82 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,368 Let's help her. 83 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:03,155 - That tickles! Whoa! 84 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,157 I guess Coach Kitman was right -- for some people, 85 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,551 the most flattering outfit is a large sweatshirt. 86 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,032 But I can't look incredible and go out in public. 87 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,903 I think that's an either/or. 88 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,341 Thanks anyway, guys. - What gives? 89 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,299 We just pulled a full Cinderella on her, 90 00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,779 and now she wants to stay home? 91 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,998 You're a bleeding heart for losers, Martina. 92 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,131 - What a waste of a fun hat! 93 00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,525 - She's just used to crushing her own dreams 94 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:27,354 before the world or her mother gets a chance to. 95 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,007 We have to spell it out for her. 96 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,574 - Yay! 97 00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,315 - Oh! Okay! 98 00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,796 I guess you'll be my emotional support beetles! 99 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,233 Here, hop in my Jansport. 100 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,148 Wait, stop! 101 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,846 I'm talking about my backpack! 102 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:45,197 Besides, that would be my frontpack. 103 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,289 - See? 104 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,335 You can make meatloaf and give foot rub at same time. 105 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,903 Peter, why you no give bunion the tickle-tickle? 106 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:58,036 - Don't get me wrong, I love being a slave to the matriarchy, 107 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,344 but sometimes, I wish I had a guy pal to hang with. 108 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:05,392 - Male friendship not for shy undertaker grown boys, Peter. 109 00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:08,046 You never leave the Baba. - Special delivery. 110 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,353 Mr. Peter Fantasy. 111 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,269 - What this? Too small to be bride. 112 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:17,273 Any package that not for work and not bride for pervert. 113 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:21,669 - Not perverts, Baba -- loners. 114 00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:22,931 -I'm Gymnast Gregory. 115 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,628 Wanna see my front roundoff? 116 00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,891 - There's something wrong with this wife, Peter. 117 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:30,242 If she no get pregnant in 90 days, we return. 118 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,853 - Gregory's not my lover. 119 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,420 He's here to be my friend. 120 00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,422 See? 121 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,685 -Men die an average of five years earlier than women. 122 00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:38,947 Loneliness is one of the biggest threats 123 00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,644 to men's health. 124 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,951 But Gymnast Gregory, our companion smart doll, 125 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,822 is here to help. 126 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,303 -While we watch the game, let's do a somatic inventory 127 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,349 of the places our bodies carry tension. 128 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,567 - I'd like that, Greg. 129 00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,047 -As a professional athlete, 130 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,831 Gymnast Gregory creates intimacy 131 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,878 within a nonthreatening sports-based bond. 132 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,140 -Tell me about the frustrations you feel 133 00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,663 with your manager at work. 134 00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,361 I love hearing you talk about the situation 135 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,971 yet never do anything to change it. 136 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,887 -He can flip, cartwheel, and help males over 18 137 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:09,107 experience vulnerability with another man. 138 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,458 - Most things I need to get off my chest are too embarrassing 139 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,417 to share with other men and too boring for human women. 140 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,941 -Sharing your feelings can help lower your blood pressure 141 00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,422 and make you less inclined to yell at strangers. 142 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,382 In a double-blind study, Gymnast Gregory owners 143 00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,775 were 17% less likely to murder women 144 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:27,169 who rejected their sexual advances. 145 00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:28,605 - I didn't understand the importance 146 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,128 of straight male friendship 147 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,609 when it came to my depression, but I do now. 148 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,872 Thank you, Gymnast Gregory. 149 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:38,354 - But lonely middle-aged men some of our best customers. 150 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,095 -Spot me on the balance beam! 151 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,750 Then I'll help you confront the inadequacy you feel 152 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,447 when you pee sitting down. 153 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:47,319 You mean standing is an option?! 154 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:50,192 Having a male friend is gonna be great! 155 00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,324 - Peter, you no need boyfriend 156 00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:57,155 when you have good job and lubed-up Baba. 157 00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,158 - Didn't realize mimes are technically art clowns. 158 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,471 How 'd you know I love gas-station flowers? 159 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,781 And horse tranquilizers. 160 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,565 He's mine. Oh, he's mine. 161 00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,350 - Good evening. Ready to order? 162 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:21,571 Oh! Okay, two words. 163 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,748 Uh, you're a...chicken... 164 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,446 - Newborn kitten! - Breastfeeding! 165 00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,535 - The Vietnam War! - Tender! 166 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,624 - Oh, chicken tenders! Chicken tenders! 167 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,802 And what kind of sauce would you like with that sir? 168 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,500 Three words... - Just bring us one of each. 169 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:41,112 And I'll take a hamburger patty soaked in vodka. 170 00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,420 Geeze latoosh, it's barely been an hour without my beetles. 171 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,987 Better put a jump on the hump. 172 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:49,164 Francois, how bout we skip straight to dessert? 173 00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:52,950 They have a wonderful back alley here, and so do I. 174 00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,432 - Good turnout! 175 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,000 Surprised the recycling club came as the segregationist mob, 176 00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,568 but they do enjoying separating things. 177 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:07,008 Oh, no, there go my social-anxiety hives. 178 00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,618 Better just go home. 179 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,795 Hey...what are you doing? 180 00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,624 Wow, you just superficially covered them up. 181 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,409 I guess that's what Trophy does with all her flaws. 182 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:18,759 - Annie, hey! 183 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,632 Reminder -- the Titans! Remember? 184 00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,982 - Oops, I, uh, almost forgot. 185 00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,331 - I'm Safety Pin. 186 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,898 My thing's safety pins. 187 00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,596 - I'm Babygirl. 188 00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:32,250 My thing's sucking a pacifier dipped in cough syrup. 189 00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,601 I've really internalized misogyny 190 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,603 and totally missed the point of "Lolita"... 191 00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,605 for now! - Cool! 192 00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,041 Javi, what's your thing? 193 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,825 - I'm into post-colonial feminism, 194 00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,088 but I don't have a visual signifier for it yet, 195 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,568 and long Furbys. 196 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,832 - What's your thing, Annie? - My thing is... 197 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:52,270 looking at the ground and -- and -- and -- and... 198 00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,621 - Hey, Martina! Get your head in the game! 199 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:58,581 Playing fairy godmother to The Drain was your idea! 200 00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,235 - And mystery. 201 00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,324 My thing is mystery. 202 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,587 - I told you, she is full of surprises. 203 00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:05,849 - Nice. - Meta. 204 00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,462 - How ironic would nachos be? 205 00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:14,423 - I could really dip my pacifier in some cheese right now. 206 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,080 - Oh... 207 00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,342 actually, would you like some nachos? 208 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,780 - You are mysterious. 209 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:26,870 - Annie overcoming her fears and Denzel on the big screen -- 210 00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,830 doesn't it all just make a girl dream of a better world? 211 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,876 - Hope it's a world where you shut the hell up. 212 00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,663 - Table for two, sir? 213 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,316 Or will your mother be spying on you 214 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,057 from the car again this evening? 215 00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:42,190 - Two for the all-male section, please. 216 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:46,890 We're here to experience positive platonic masculinity. 217 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,197 - Perhaps something by the septic tan-- 218 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,633 -Could you tell me all about 219 00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,157 exactly how whiskey gets distilled? 220 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,116 - Oh, my apologies Mr. Gregory. 221 00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:59,163 I didn't see you there. Please follow me. 222 00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,905 - So, buddy, what should we discuss first? 223 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,125 Deck remodels? Automotive repair? 224 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,954 Having spare keys made? 225 00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,521 -We could start by listing NFL quarterback record-holders, 226 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,523 but the real touchdown would be you sharing 227 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,960 what's bothering you tonight. 228 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,526 - Me? 229 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,354 No one's ever talked to me about sports trivia 230 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:20,707 or asked me how I feel before! 231 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,665 Mommies. 232 00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,494 One minute, you're happily snuggled up in their womb, 233 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,278 the next, you're 31 234 00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,759 and they don't trust you to go have a drink with a male friend. 235 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,674 -Wow. Thanks for opening up like that. 236 00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,546 - Baba's only ever thanked me for shutting my face hole! 237 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,114 Cheers to male friendship. 238 00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,726 - Just close your eyes and hold still -- 239 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,380 it's best if I'm the only one who moves. 240 00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,861 Oops. There we go. Okay. 241 00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,689 Mm. 242 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,951 How can we 243 00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,605 if you're trapped in an invisible box! 244 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,563 Let me in! 245 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:57,221 How am I supposed to get home now? 246 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,788 Oh! 247 00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,834 Ooh! 248 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,927 I guess without the beetles, I don't quite work right. 249 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,232 I'll call Annie. 250 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,758 Daughters should be good for something. 251 00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:15,544 Huh, I really need those beetles. 252 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,244 Damn it! 253 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,769 Welp, it's all downhill from here. 254 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,083 -And that is why we will always... 255 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,216 -Remember the Titans. 256 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,393 - What are you up to tomorrow, Annie? 257 00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,960 - Tomorrow? Tomorrow? 258 00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,532 - Mm, not your best. - Right, yeah, I know. 259 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,447 - Well, we'll be at the skatepark in the morning. 260 00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,101 Hope to see ya there. 261 00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,450 - Plans on a Saturday morning, 262 00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,757 right after plans on a Friday night? 263 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,238 Who knew I was "that bitch"? 264 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,240 Couldn't have done it without you guys! 265 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,764 - Okay, everybody, let's get some shut-eye! 266 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,985 Don't forget, we've got a vagina to rebuild bright and early. 267 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,638 It's probably gonna be absolutely wrecked 268 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,640 by clown penis. - Yay! 269 00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,642 - Who's excited for Infrastructure Week! 270 00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,775 - Me! - Not I. 271 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,038 Like Annie, I want more out of life. 272 00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,258 I've actually written some free-verse I'd like to share 273 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,086 on the topic of my dreams. 274 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:22,089 'Twas the night I discovered - - That's enough out of you. 275 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,004 Tomorrow, you're on anus watch. 276 00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,615 - But I'm a terrible goalie. You've said it yourself. 277 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,797 Hmm, you're wet and bumpy. This could work out. 278 00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:39,497 I have an excellent franchise opportunity inside my vagina. 279 00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,065 Can you go round up some of your friends? 280 00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:47,897 Hear me, frogs of the forest, take me home! 281 00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:58,386 - Beetles! Beetles? I need your help. 282 00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,867 Faking social adequacy during a movie is one thing, 283 00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,695 but a skate park in the cold light of day... 284 00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,523 I'm not sure I'm up to this! 285 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,308 Ahhh! 286 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,527 Who said you could sleep in there? 287 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,965 - I was cold, and I took her gentle snoring as consent. 288 00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,618 - Me, too. 289 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,708 - Where the hell is Trophy! 290 00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,754 Us crotch beetles keep her alive. 291 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,712 Plus, without her constantly ordering us around, 292 00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,192 the hive is beginning to spiral. 293 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,194 - I for one say we keep helping Annie. 294 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,588 She and I are kindred souls. 295 00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:30,157 - Okay, at least it'll keep the masses busy 'til Trophy returns. 296 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,419 Hey, beetles! 297 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:34,117 Let's make 'er up! - Yay! 298 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:41,342 - I look like a self-confident suburban teen trying to rebel 299 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,519 against understanding parents who love her. 300 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,303 And you made me a skateboard 301 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,740 out of the lid of a baby coffin?! 302 00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:52,570 I'm so freaking mysterious! 303 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,224 - Annie, Annie! 304 00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,747 Have you seen Peter? 305 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,141 Baba wait hour for Saturday breakfast in bed, 306 00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,622 but no tuna sandwich, no morning love letter, 307 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,102 no Petey! 308 00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,669 - Trophy never came home last night, either. 309 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,584 - It all Gymnast Gregory fault. 310 00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:10,588 This why Baba always warn you kids -- no make friends. 311 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,764 - Actually... I made some friends last night. 312 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,375 The beetles and I are on our way 313 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,377 to meet them at the skate park now. 314 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,945 - Annie, this no time to crack jokes. 315 00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,773 You sweet social outcast like your uncle. 316 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:25,299 Weekends are for family, not make-believe friends. 317 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,960 Whew, made it back on some pollywog power! 318 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,962 You can clock out now. 319 00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,835 Alright, beetles, assemble the pit crew! 320 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,402 Putting Humpy Trophy back together again 321 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,099 is gonna take days. 322 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,407 Beetles? Anyone? 323 00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,018 C'mon, I know you're home, Annie. 324 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,020 It's the weekend! 325 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:56,069 Uh-oh. Get back here. 326 00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,331 - Is this your tongue? 327 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,898 Be more careful! 328 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,987 - Where's Annie and my crotch beetles? 329 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,858 - If you can't date men who treat you right, 330 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,992 you really should just spend Friday nights with Petey and me. 331 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,389 - Hey, Baba. 332 00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,826 Sorry I missed breakfast, but Gregory and I 333 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,524 went to see a Christopher Nolan movie 334 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,134 and then drove around all night 335 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,832 quoting lines from other Christopher Nolan movies. 336 00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,486 Sorry. 337 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,010 - You mean you stay up all night 338 00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,360 breaking your worried mother's heart. 339 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,058 -I'm supposed to practice my back hand springs, 340 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,060 but I'm all ears if you wanna go off 341 00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,671 on all the ways your mother's emotionally blackmailing you. 342 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,850 She's not the hero Gotham needs, Pete. 343 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,200 - Be warned, Petey. 344 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,767 Funeral home no place for male gymnast. 345 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,639 I have known quite a few. 346 00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:47,859 They steal your shoes and trade for steroids, 347 00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:51,385 but the Baba know you want man-friend. 348 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,518 There someone I want you to meet. 349 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,652 - Oh, my. - This Petetini. 350 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,915 Baba make smarter doll. 351 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,918 He good boy like you. 352 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,702 -Let's make Mother French toast, 353 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,575 then sniff all her babushkas 'til we find the one 354 00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:10,056 that smells like her hair in the rain. 355 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,145 Maybe Gregory should leave. 356 00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,103 He scares me, Pete. 357 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,887 -I only listen, not judge. 358 00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,455 Judging is for the Olympics. - Oh, no. 359 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,240 This is the ultimate loner's dilemma! 360 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,684 - Wow, Annie! Nice Caballerial. 361 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,555 - Nice eyebrow safety pin. 362 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,514 - Love your baby-coffin board. 363 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,472 - Oh, my gosh, I'm doing it! 364 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,822 Nothing can take this away from me! 365 00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:39,346 - Sorry, kids. 366 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,478 We've got to close down the skate park today. 367 00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,132 It's for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. 368 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,742 - Aw, the park needs to be empty 369 00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,527 because their immune system's compromised? 370 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,007 - No. 371 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,312 Their wish was to make other children angry 372 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,488 by closing the park. 373 00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:53,360 Mean kids get cancer, too. 374 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,622 Everybody out! 375 00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,319 All of you, outta here. 376 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,800 - Now what? We can't go to my house. 377 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:01,368 My parents are hoarders. - My dad's a mime. 378 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,284 It takes him like six hours to pantomime invisible snacks. 379 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,068 - We could go to my house. 380 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,549 But my whole family is baby and we live in a giant crib. 381 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,985 It was cool at first. 382 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,943 - Oh, well, maybe tomorrow. See you later. 383 00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,207 - Bye-bye. 384 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,730 - Oh. 385 00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,732 I've never had friends over before, 386 00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,430 but I guess it's technically possible. 387 00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,824 Hey, guys! We could go to my house. 388 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,914 - Coo-coo. 389 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:29,091 - Must be kinda weird to live in a funeral home. 390 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,571 - Shhh -- it's better 391 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,313 if we don't disturb Baba mid-embalm. 392 00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,575 - Annie? That you? 393 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,098 Your mother need vagina bugs back. 394 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,360 Her foot fall off. 395 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,060 Blah blah blah, typical mortician talk. 396 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,278 This way! 397 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:44,889 - What's that noise? 398 00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,763 - Is this your family? They're cute. 399 00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,504 - I know you said mystery was your thing, 400 00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,593 but clearly, you're a frog girl. 401 00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,335 - Annie! 402 00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,514 - Too mysterious, too mysterious! 403 00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,124 - Wait! Don't leave! 404 00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,866 We could play Wii or go hang out in the corpse freezer. 405 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,172 My thing isn't frogs! 406 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,434 It's actually friendship. 407 00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:11,133 Friendship is my thing! 408 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:17,008 Mom, what exactly happens on a date? 409 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,228 - I didn't realize my crotch beetles 410 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,230 make up my entire skeleton. 411 00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,711 I need them back pronto, Annie! 412 00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,322 - For what it's worth, they are really great beetles. 413 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,150 They even helped me make some friends. 414 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:31,022 The friends are, of course, gone now, but at one point 415 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:34,330 in the last two days, I can say I had up to three friends. 416 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,202 - I think that ran its course. 417 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,638 C'mon home, beetles. 418 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,901 Mama needs you! 419 00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,424 - C'mon, beetles! 420 00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,252 We've gotta raise this broad's barn! 421 00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,559 Everybody in! Martina? 422 00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,126 Martina? You coming? 423 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,779 - You know what? I'm not. 424 00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,477 We both knew this day would come, Norma. 425 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,956 This is goodbye. 426 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,438 - Well, I'll leave the cervix open for you. 427 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:59,225 - Thanks a lot for babysitting, Annie. 428 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:02,228 - Annie! Hey, Annie. 429 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:06,362 - I'm Martina, and I just have to say, you are so cool. 430 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,799 - I am? - Oh, yeah. 431 00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,192 You want something more out of life 432 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,803 than just serving Trophy, and so do I. 433 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,066 - Are you going to be my beetle from now on? 434 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:18,244 - No, I'm leaving to find my path. 435 00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,202 I'm a dreamer, just like you. 436 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,421 But listen, Annie. 437 00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,336 One day, you'll get out of here, 438 00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,252 and until then, you should really give Javi a call. 439 00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,210 Just tell them your thing is haunted houses. 440 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,559 - Thanks. 441 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,039 And good luck fulfilling your dreams. 442 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,823 - Oh, I will. 443 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,956 You know, I've been workshopping some singer-songwriter stuff, 444 00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:36,697 and I'd really love to share with -- 445 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:40,483 - I think I'm just gonna go make that call. 446 00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,878 -Don't be such a dreamer, Gregory. 447 00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:46,576 Thanks to me, Pete is working on his self-respect 448 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,099 and recognizing the toxic patterns 449 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,666 that are keeping him stuck. 450 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,452 -Gymnast Gregory, my critique of you 451 00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:57,500 is that you cannot walk plain, always doing flips. 452 00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,590 Just like you cannot accept Pete plain. 453 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,725 You have him doing flips of personality. 454 00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,728 - That's actually true. Petetini makes a lot of sense. 455 00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,382 -You know what I love about you, Pete, 456 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:13,037 even your big feelings can't frighten me off. 457 00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,996 - Oh, that's such a relief, Gregory. 458 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:18,652 I was worried if I told you about my abandonment issues, 459 00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:21,132 you'd abandon me, just like that. 460 00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:23,134 -Wee! 461 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,963 - And you've abandoned me, just like that. 462 00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,139 Petetini not leave. 463 00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,316 - I paid for a male friendship doll 464 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,144 with anti-abandonment programming 465 00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:36,974 that could never walk out on me like my father did. 466 00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,976 - Peter, my only boy. 467 00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,544 Keep boring feelings to self, 'kay? 468 00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,720 -I embarrassed for you. 469 00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,290 - Have the beetles said when they'll be done 470 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,683 with the reconstruction? 471 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,075 - They're contractors. 472 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,295 Whatever they say, add six weeks. 473 00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,776 Since I'm stuck at home, how about we watch that 474 00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:59,823 "Remember the Beauticians" movie you're always blathering about? 475 00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:03,262 - Sorry, I'm meeting Javi and the girls in front of the 911. 476 00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,654 I worried they'd never talk to me again, 477 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,047 but they seem sort of fascinated 478 00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,702 by a haunted funeral home being my thing. 479 00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,181 - Where you two off to? 480 00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,749 Saturday nights, we clean sink drains 481 00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,578 and listen to podcasts of people playing Scrabble. 482 00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:18,015 - Actually, Baba, Petetini and I are going to go drink 483 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,322 some light beer out of cans. 484 00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,368 It's really important that we take some time 485 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:25,936 to recharge our masculine energy. 486 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,591 - Should have never had kids. - Should have never had kids. 487 00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:36,120 - She's not coming back, Norma. 488 00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,514 - Who would have thought I'd miss that crazy dreamer. 489 00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:41,038 - Well, you're about to miss Silly Shirt Saturday! 490 00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,518 Get in here! 491 00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:45,086 - Here's to you, Martina. 492 00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,610 You keep dreaming those big dreams. 493 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,047 Enough for all us crotch beetles. 494 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:54,835 -And that's the story of how I went from living 495 00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:56,837 in an overcrowded corpse vagina 496 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,231 to living in a small plastic gymnast. 497 00:22:00,275 --> 00:22:02,625 Never, ever give up on your dreams.