1
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,747
-It was just another day
as a crotch beetle
2
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:10,097
in Trophy's vagina.
3
00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,055
I believe it was a Friday.
4
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:15,102
Everyone was business
as usual -- replacing fluids,
5
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:17,365
removing stray bottle caps,
that sort of thing.
6
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:19,193
Everyone but me.
7
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,412
Me, I've always been a dreamer.
8
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:22,674
Hey, Norma...
9
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,328
you ever wonder
what it'd be like
10
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:28,332
to venture into the great, wide,
non-vaginal world beyond?
11
00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:30,552
- Whaddaya mean? The feet?
- No, I mean...
12
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:31,814
out there!
13
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:33,555
- No, why would I?
14
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:37,080
Trophy's roomy ladycave contains
everything we could ever need --
15
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:40,736
shelter, barbiturates,
Fun Hat Fridays --
16
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,042
- The basics, yes.
17
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,826
But don't you have dreams?
18
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,307
- Hat on, Martina!
19
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,004
Stop your whimsy!
20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,572
Remember whose vag
you're living in.
21
00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:54,184
-I don't know how I'm gonna
do it, but one day...
22
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:57,274
I'm gonna live in
a little crotch of my very own.
23
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:30,655
Is that any good?
24
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,354
- Good morning, students.
25
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,618
I'm Mr. BJ Educator,
your substitute teacher.
26
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:39,142
So, for the rest of the year,
we'll be watching
27
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:44,234
the thought-provoking film
"Remember the Titans."
28
00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:46,845
- But we're already watching it
in science class.
29
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:48,456
Mrs. Gilman is going through
a divorce,
30
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,458
and it's the best
she can do right now.
31
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,677
-Principal Shepler here
with your Thank the Lord
32
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,506
and Savior Jesus Christ
It's Friday announcements!
33
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:58,422
Coach Kitman's trial will be
broadcast live
34
00:01:58,466 --> 00:02:00,250
in the auditorium on Monday.
35
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,034
Wear green if you think
he's guilty
36
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:05,168
and blue if you have first-hand
knowledge of his guilt.
37
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:08,432
So, we're canceling tonight's
football game and pep rally
38
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:11,392
and showing the film
"Remember the Titans" instead.
39
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:15,135
Hope you remember
to bring your school spirit.
40
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,442
- At this point, I'd really like
to forget the Titans.
41
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:21,271
- If I forget the Titans,
will you please remind me?
42
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,881
- Ha! You're fun.
43
00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,841
- Sometimes, life is fun
for no reason at all.
44
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:30,411
I know it'll be lame,
but want to sit with me tonight?
45
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,239
- I don't scratch my head
unless it itches,
46
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,241
I don't dance
unless I hear some music,
47
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:37,635
and I don't go to the movies
unless someone asks me!
48
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,681
- Sweet Denzel impresh!
49
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,248
You do anyone else?
50
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:44,294
- Isn't it ironic...
but I don't.
51
00:02:44,338 --> 00:02:47,776
- Can't wait for you
to meet my peeps.
52
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,431
- I mean, Javi and I have texted
about homework four times,
53
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,563
sat at the same table
at lunch three times,
54
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:55,087
and today, they asked me
to friend third base --
55
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,046
watching a movie at night.
56
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:59,309
- Sorry, hon, I need you
to babysit the beetles tonight.
57
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:03,270
I've got my first real date
date post-resurrection,
58
00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:06,360
and I can't have bugs
in my jelly roll.
59
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:07,926
- But you know
I've always dreamed
60
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,754
of being part of a squad.
61
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,147
That's not fair.
62
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,670
-I'm not fair, Annie.
63
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,150
This guy could be the one.
64
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,370
He's a..."art clown".
65
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,459
Real stepdad material!
66
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:20,722
- Can't Baba or Pete
watch the beetles?
67
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,158
- It's Friday, Annie.
68
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,421
Old country
mother/son date night.
69
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,771
- Oh, right.
But don't you need the beetles
70
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,470
to stop you
from literally falling apart?
71
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,515
- I have no idea, Annie.
72
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:35,911
My body is a mystery
only an art clown can solve.
73
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:38,740
- Why did I think this Friday
would be any different?
74
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:40,524
"Annie, babysit the beetles.
75
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:43,135
Annie, wear this wig
and meet with my parole officer.
76
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:46,313
Annie, go make another season
of 'Mad Men.' I'm bored."
77
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,837
I'm so mad, I could sigh!
78
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,317
- Yikes.
79
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,449
Trophy doesn't call her
"The Drain" for nothing.
80
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:53,798
- Annie's not a drain.
81
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,279
She's a faucet of hopes
and dreams.
82
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,368
Let's help her.
83
00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:03,155
- That tickles! Whoa!
84
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,157
I guess Coach Kitman
was right -- for some people,
85
00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,551
the most flattering outfit
is a large sweatshirt.
86
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,032
But I can't look incredible
and go out in public.
87
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,903
I think that's an either/or.
88
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,341
Thanks anyway, guys.
- What gives?
89
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,299
We just pulled a full Cinderella
on her,
90
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:17,779
and now she wants to stay home?
91
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,998
You're a bleeding heart
for losers, Martina.
92
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,131
- What a waste of a fun hat!
93
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:24,525
- She's just used to crushing
her own dreams
94
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:27,354
before the world
or her mother gets a chance to.
95
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,007
We have to spell it out for her.
96
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:30,574
- Yay!
97
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:32,315
- Oh! Okay!
98
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:34,796
I guess you'll be
my emotional support beetles!
99
00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,233
Here, hop in my Jansport.
100
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,148
Wait, stop!
101
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,846
I'm talking about my backpack!
102
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:45,197
Besides, that would be
my frontpack.
103
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,289
- See?
104
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,335
You can make meatloaf
and give foot rub at same time.
105
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:54,903
Peter, why you no give bunion
the tickle-tickle?
106
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:58,036
- Don't get me wrong, I love
being a slave to the matriarchy,
107
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,344
but sometimes, I wish
I had a guy pal to hang with.
108
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:05,392
- Male friendship not for shy
undertaker grown boys, Peter.
109
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:08,046
You never leave the Baba.
- Special delivery.
110
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:10,353
Mr. Peter Fantasy.
111
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,269
- What this?
Too small to be bride.
112
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:17,273
Any package that not for work
and not bride for pervert.
113
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:21,669
- Not perverts, Baba -- loners.
114
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:22,931
-I'm Gymnast Gregory.
115
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,628
Wanna see my front roundoff?
116
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,891
- There's something wrong
with this wife, Peter.
117
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:30,242
If she no get pregnant
in 90 days, we return.
118
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,853
- Gregory's not my lover.
119
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,420
He's here to be my friend.
120
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,422
See?
121
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,685
-Men die an average of
five years earlier than women.
122
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:38,947
Loneliness is
one of the biggest threats
123
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:40,644
to men's health.
124
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,951
But Gymnast Gregory,
our companion smart doll,
125
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,822
is here to help.
126
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,303
-While we watch the game,
let's do a somatic inventory
127
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,349
of the places
our bodies carry tension.
128
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,567
- I'd like that, Greg.
129
00:05:50,611 --> 00:05:52,047
-As a professional athlete,
130
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,831
Gymnast Gregory
creates intimacy
131
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,878
within a nonthreatening
sports-based bond.
132
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,140
-Tell me about the frustrations
you feel
133
00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,663
with your manager at work.
134
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,361
I love hearing you
talk about the situation
135
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,971
yet never do anything
to change it.
136
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,887
-He can flip, cartwheel,
and help males over 18
137
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:09,107
experience vulnerability
with another man.
138
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,458
- Most things I need to get off
my chest are too embarrassing
139
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,417
to share with other men
and too boring for human women.
140
00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,941
-Sharing your feelings can help
lower your blood pressure
141
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,422
and make you less inclined
to yell at strangers.
142
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,382
In a double-blind study,
Gymnast Gregory owners
143
00:06:22,425 --> 00:06:24,775
were 17% less likely
to murder women
144
00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:27,169
who rejected
their sexual advances.
145
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:28,605
- I didn't understand
the importance
146
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,128
of straight male friendship
147
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,609
when it came to my depression,
but I do now.
148
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,872
Thank you, Gymnast Gregory.
149
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:38,354
- But lonely middle-aged men
some of our best customers.
150
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,095
-Spot me on the balance beam!
151
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,750
Then I'll help you confront
the inadequacy you feel
152
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,447
when you pee sitting down.
153
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:47,319
You mean standing is an option?!
154
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:50,192
Having a male friend
is gonna be great!
155
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:52,324
- Peter, you no need boyfriend
156
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:57,155
when you have good job
and lubed-up Baba.
157
00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,158
- Didn't realize mimes
are technically art clowns.
158
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:08,471
How 'd you know I love
gas-station flowers?
159
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,781
And horse tranquilizers.
160
00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:15,565
He's mine. Oh, he's mine.
161
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,350
- Good evening. Ready to order?
162
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:21,571
Oh! Okay, two words.
163
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,748
Uh, you're a...chicken...
164
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,446
- Newborn kitten!
- Breastfeeding!
165
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,535
- The Vietnam War!
- Tender!
166
00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,624
- Oh, chicken tenders!
Chicken tenders!
167
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,802
And what kind of sauce
would you like with that sir?
168
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:37,500
Three words...
- Just bring us one of each.
169
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:41,112
And I'll take a hamburger patty
soaked in vodka.
170
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,420
Geeze latoosh, it's barely been
an hour without my beetles.
171
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,987
Better put a jump on the hump.
172
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:49,164
Francois, how bout we skip
straight to dessert?
173
00:07:49,207 --> 00:07:52,950
They have a wonderful
back alley here, and so do I.
174
00:07:54,604 --> 00:07:56,432
- Good turnout!
175
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,000
Surprised the recycling club
came as the segregationist mob,
176
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,568
but they do enjoying
separating things.
177
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:07,008
Oh, no, there go
my social-anxiety hives.
178
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,618
Better just go home.
179
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,795
Hey...what are you doing?
180
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,624
Wow, you just superficially
covered them up.
181
00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,409
I guess that's what Trophy does
with all her flaws.
182
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:18,759
- Annie, hey!
183
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:22,632
Reminder -- the Titans!
Remember?
184
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,982
- Oops, I, uh, almost forgot.
185
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,331
- I'm Safety Pin.
186
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,898
My thing's safety pins.
187
00:08:27,942 --> 00:08:29,596
- I'm Babygirl.
188
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:32,250
My thing's sucking a pacifier
dipped in cough syrup.
189
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:34,601
I've really
internalized misogyny
190
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,603
and totally missed
the point of "Lolita"...
191
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,605
for now!
- Cool!
192
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:40,041
Javi, what's your thing?
193
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,825
- I'm into
post-colonial feminism,
194
00:08:41,869 --> 00:08:44,088
but I don't have
a visual signifier for it yet,
195
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,568
and long Furbys.
196
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,832
- What's your thing, Annie?
- My thing is...
197
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:52,270
looking at the ground and --
and -- and -- and...
198
00:08:52,314 --> 00:08:54,621
- Hey, Martina!
Get your head in the game!
199
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:58,581
Playing fairy godmother to
The Drain was your idea!
200
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,235
- And mystery.
201
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:02,324
My thing is mystery.
202
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,587
- I told you,
she is full of surprises.
203
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:05,849
- Nice.
- Meta.
204
00:09:07,851 --> 00:09:10,462
- How ironic would nachos be?
205
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:14,423
- I could really dip my pacifier
in some cheese right now.
206
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,080
- Oh...
207
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,342
actually, would you like
some nachos?
208
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,780
- You are mysterious.
209
00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:26,870
- Annie overcoming her fears
and Denzel on the big screen --
210
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,830
doesn't it all just make a girl
dream of a better world?
211
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,876
- Hope it's a world
where you shut the hell up.
212
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,663
- Table for two, sir?
213
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,316
Or will your mother
be spying on you
214
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,057
from the car again this evening?
215
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:42,190
- Two for the all-male section,
please.
216
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:46,890
We're here to experience
positive platonic masculinity.
217
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:49,197
- Perhaps something
by the septic tan--
218
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,633
-Could you tell me all about
219
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:53,157
exactly how whiskey
gets distilled?
220
00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,116
- Oh, my apologies Mr. Gregory.
221
00:09:55,159 --> 00:09:59,163
I didn't see you there.
Please follow me.
222
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:01,905
- So, buddy,
what should we discuss first?
223
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,125
Deck remodels?
Automotive repair?
224
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,954
Having spare keys made?
225
00:10:06,997 --> 00:10:09,521
-We could start by listing NFL
quarterback record-holders,
226
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,523
but the real touchdown would be
you sharing
227
00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:12,960
what's bothering you tonight.
228
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,526
- Me?
229
00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,354
No one's ever talked to me
about sports trivia
230
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:20,707
or asked me how I feel before!
231
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,665
Mommies.
232
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,494
One minute, you're happily
snuggled up in their womb,
233
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,278
the next, you're 31
234
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:29,759
and they don't trust you to go
have a drink with a male friend.
235
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,674
-Wow. Thanks for
opening up like that.
236
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,546
- Baba's only ever thanked me
for shutting my face hole!
237
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,114
Cheers to male friendship.
238
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,726
- Just close your eyes
and hold still --
239
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,380
it's best if I'm
the only one who moves.
240
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,861
Oops.
There we go. Okay.
241
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:46,689
Mm.
242
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,951
How can we
243
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,605
if you're trapped
in an invisible box!
244
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,563
Let me in!
245
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:57,221
How am I supposed to
get home now?
246
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,788
Oh!
247
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,834
Ooh!
248
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,927
I guess without the beetles,
I don't quite work right.
249
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:08,232
I'll call Annie.
250
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,758
Daughters should be good
for something.
251
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:15,544
Huh, I really need
those beetles.
252
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,244
Damn it!
253
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:22,769
Welp, it's all downhill
from here.
254
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,083
-And that is why
we will always...
255
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,216
-Remember the Titans.
256
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,393
- What are you up to tomorrow,
Annie?
257
00:11:38,436 --> 00:11:39,960
- Tomorrow? Tomorrow?
258
00:11:45,226 --> 00:11:47,532
- Mm, not your best.
- Right, yeah, I know.
259
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,447
- Well, we'll be at
the skatepark in the morning.
260
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,101
Hope to see ya there.
261
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,450
- Plans on a Saturday morning,
262
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,757
right after plans
on a Friday night?
263
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:57,238
Who knew I was "that bitch"?
264
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,240
Couldn't have done it
without you guys!
265
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,764
- Okay, everybody,
let's get some shut-eye!
266
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,985
Don't forget, we've got a vagina
to rebuild bright and early.
267
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:06,638
It's probably gonna be
absolutely wrecked
268
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,640
by clown penis.
- Yay!
269
00:12:08,684 --> 00:12:10,642
- Who's excited for
Infrastructure Week!
270
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,775
- Me!
- Not I.
271
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,038
Like Annie,
I want more out of life.
272
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,258
I've actually written some
free-verse I'd like to share
273
00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:19,086
on the topic of my dreams.
274
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:22,089
'Twas the night I discovered -
- That's enough out of you.
275
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:24,004
Tomorrow, you're on anus watch.
276
00:12:24,047 --> 00:12:26,615
- But I'm a terrible goalie.
You've said it yourself.
277
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:34,797
Hmm, you're wet and bumpy.
This could work out.
278
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:39,497
I have an excellent franchise
opportunity inside my vagina.
279
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,065
Can you go round up
some of your friends?
280
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:47,897
Hear me, frogs of the forest,
take me home!
281
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:58,386
- Beetles! Beetles?
I need your help.
282
00:12:58,429 --> 00:13:00,867
Faking social adequacy
during a movie is one thing,
283
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,695
but a skate park
in the cold light of day...
284
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,523
I'm not sure I'm up to this!
285
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,308
Ahhh!
286
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,527
Who said you could
sleep in there?
287
00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:11,965
- I was cold, and I took
her gentle snoring as consent.
288
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,618
- Me, too.
289
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,708
- Where the hell is Trophy!
290
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,754
Us crotch beetles
keep her alive.
291
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,712
Plus, without her constantly
ordering us around,
292
00:13:20,756 --> 00:13:22,192
the hive is beginning to spiral.
293
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,194
- I for one say
we keep helping Annie.
294
00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,588
She and I are kindred souls.
295
00:13:26,631 --> 00:13:30,157
- Okay, at least it'll keep the
masses busy 'til Trophy returns.
296
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,419
Hey, beetles!
297
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:34,117
Let's make 'er up!
- Yay!
298
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:41,342
- I look like a self-confident
suburban teen trying to rebel
299
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,519
against understanding parents
who love her.
300
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,303
And you made me a skateboard
301
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,740
out of the lid
of a baby coffin?!
302
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:52,570
I'm so freaking mysterious!
303
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:54,224
- Annie, Annie!
304
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,747
Have you seen Peter?
305
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,141
Baba wait hour
for Saturday breakfast in bed,
306
00:13:58,185 --> 00:14:00,622
but no tuna sandwich,
no morning love letter,
307
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:02,102
no Petey!
308
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:04,669
- Trophy never came home
last night, either.
309
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,584
- It all Gymnast Gregory fault.
310
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:10,588
This why Baba always warn
you kids -- no make friends.
311
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,764
- Actually...
I made some friends last night.
312
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,375
The beetles and I are on our way
313
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,377
to meet them
at the skate park now.
314
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,945
- Annie, this no time
to crack jokes.
315
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,773
You sweet social outcast
like your uncle.
316
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:25,299
Weekends are for family,
not make-believe friends.
317
00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,960
Whew, made it back
on some pollywog power!
318
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:35,962
You can clock out now.
319
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,835
Alright, beetles,
assemble the pit crew!
320
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,402
Putting Humpy Trophy
back together again
321
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,099
is gonna take days.
322
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:46,407
Beetles? Anyone?
323
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,018
C'mon, I know you're home,
Annie.
324
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,020
It's the weekend!
325
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:56,069
Uh-oh. Get back here.
326
00:14:56,112 --> 00:14:57,331
- Is this your tongue?
327
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,898
Be more careful!
328
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,987
- Where's Annie
and my crotch beetles?
329
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,858
- If you can't date men
who treat you right,
330
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,992
you really should just spend
Friday nights with Petey and me.
331
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,389
- Hey, Baba.
332
00:15:12,433 --> 00:15:14,826
Sorry I missed breakfast,
but Gregory and I
333
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,524
went to see
a Christopher Nolan movie
334
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,134
and then drove around all night
335
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,832
quoting lines from
other Christopher Nolan movies.
336
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,486
Sorry.
337
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,010
- You mean you stay up all night
338
00:15:24,053 --> 00:15:26,360
breaking
your worried mother's heart.
339
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,058
-I'm supposed to practice
my back hand springs,
340
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,060
but I'm all ears
if you wanna go off
341
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:33,671
on all the ways your mother's
emotionally blackmailing you.
342
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,850
She's not the hero
Gotham needs, Pete.
343
00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,200
- Be warned, Petey.
344
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:42,767
Funeral home no place
for male gymnast.
345
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,639
I have known quite a few.
346
00:15:44,682 --> 00:15:47,859
They steal your shoes
and trade for steroids,
347
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:51,385
but the Baba know
you want man-friend.
348
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,518
There someone
I want you to meet.
349
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:57,652
- Oh, my.
- This Petetini.
350
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,915
Baba make smarter doll.
351
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,918
He good boy like you.
352
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,702
-Let's make Mother
French toast,
353
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,575
then sniff all her babushkas
'til we find the one
354
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:10,056
that smells like her hair
in the rain.
355
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,145
Maybe Gregory should leave.
356
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:14,103
He scares me, Pete.
357
00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:15,887
-I only listen, not judge.
358
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:18,455
Judging is for the Olympics.
- Oh, no.
359
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,240
This is the ultimate
loner's dilemma!
360
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:29,684
- Wow, Annie!
Nice Caballerial.
361
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,555
- Nice eyebrow safety pin.
362
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,514
- Love your baby-coffin board.
363
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,472
- Oh, my gosh, I'm doing it!
364
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,822
Nothing can take this
away from me!
365
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:39,346
- Sorry, kids.
366
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,478
We've got to close down
the skate park today.
367
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:43,132
It's for
the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
368
00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,742
- Aw, the park needs to be empty
369
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:46,527
because their immune system's
compromised?
370
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,007
- No.
371
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,312
Their wish was to make
other children angry
372
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,488
by closing the park.
373
00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:53,360
Mean kids get cancer, too.
374
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,622
Everybody out!
375
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,319
All of you, outta here.
376
00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,800
- Now what?
We can't go to my house.
377
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:01,368
My parents are hoarders.
- My dad's a mime.
378
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:04,284
It takes him like six hours
to pantomime invisible snacks.
379
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,068
- We could go to my house.
380
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:08,549
But my whole family is baby
and we live in a giant crib.
381
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,985
It was cool at first.
382
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,943
- Oh, well, maybe tomorrow.
See you later.
383
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,207
- Bye-bye.
384
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,730
- Oh.
385
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,732
I've never
had friends over before,
386
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:20,430
but I guess
it's technically possible.
387
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:22,824
Hey, guys!
We could go to my house.
388
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,914
- Coo-coo.
389
00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:29,091
- Must be kinda weird to live
in a funeral home.
390
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,571
- Shhh -- it's better
391
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,313
if we don't disturb Baba
mid-embalm.
392
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,575
- Annie? That you?
393
00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,098
Your mother need
vagina bugs back.
394
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,360
Her foot fall off.
395
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,060
Blah blah blah,
typical mortician talk.
396
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:42,278
This way!
397
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:44,889
- What's that noise?
398
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,763
- Is this your family?
They're cute.
399
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,504
- I know you said mystery
was your thing,
400
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:52,593
but clearly, you're a frog girl.
401
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,335
- Annie!
402
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,514
- Too mysterious,
too mysterious!
403
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,124
- Wait! Don't leave!
404
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,866
We could play Wii or go hang out
in the corpse freezer.
405
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:06,172
My thing isn't frogs!
406
00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,434
It's actually friendship.
407
00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:11,133
Friendship is my thing!
408
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:17,008
Mom, what exactly happens
on a date?
409
00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:19,228
- I didn't realize
my crotch beetles
410
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,230
make up my entire skeleton.
411
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,711
I need them back pronto, Annie!
412
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:26,322
- For what it's worth,
they are really great beetles.
413
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,150
They even helped me
make some friends.
414
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:31,022
The friends are, of course,
gone now, but at one point
415
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:34,330
in the last two days, I can say
I had up to three friends.
416
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,202
- I think that ran its course.
417
00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:37,638
C'mon home, beetles.
418
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,901
Mama needs you!
419
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,424
- C'mon, beetles!
420
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,252
We've gotta raise
this broad's barn!
421
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,559
Everybody in! Martina?
422
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,126
Martina? You coming?
423
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,779
- You know what? I'm not.
424
00:18:48,823 --> 00:18:50,477
We both knew this day
would come, Norma.
425
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,956
This is goodbye.
426
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,438
- Well, I'll leave the cervix
open for you.
427
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:59,225
- Thanks a lot
for babysitting, Annie.
428
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:02,228
- Annie! Hey, Annie.
429
00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:06,362
- I'm Martina, and I just
have to say, you are so cool.
430
00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,799
- I am?
- Oh, yeah.
431
00:19:08,843 --> 00:19:10,192
You want something
more out of life
432
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,803
than just serving Trophy,
and so do I.
433
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,066
- Are you going to be my beetle
from now on?
434
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:18,244
- No, I'm leaving
to find my path.
435
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:20,202
I'm a dreamer, just like you.
436
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,421
But listen, Annie.
437
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,336
One day, you'll get out of here,
438
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,252
and until then, you should
really give Javi a call.
439
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:28,210
Just tell them your thing
is haunted houses.
440
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,559
- Thanks.
441
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,039
And good luck
fulfilling your dreams.
442
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,823
- Oh, I will.
443
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,956
You know, I've been workshopping
some singer-songwriter stuff,
444
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:36,697
and I'd really love
to share with --
445
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:40,483
- I think I'm just gonna
go make that call.
446
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,878
-Don't be such a dreamer,
Gregory.
447
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:46,576
Thanks to me, Pete is working
on his self-respect
448
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,099
and recognizing
the toxic patterns
449
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,666
that are keeping him stuck.
450
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,452
-Gymnast Gregory,
my critique of you
451
00:19:52,495 --> 00:19:57,500
is that you cannot walk plain,
always doing flips.
452
00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,590
Just like you cannot
accept Pete plain.
453
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,725
You have him doing flips
of personality.
454
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,728
- That's actually true.
Petetini makes a lot of sense.
455
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:09,382
-You know what I love
about you, Pete,
456
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:13,037
even your big feelings
can't frighten me off.
457
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,996
- Oh,
that's such a relief, Gregory.
458
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:18,652
I was worried if I told you
about my abandonment issues,
459
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:21,132
you'd abandon me,
just like that.
460
00:20:21,176 --> 00:20:23,134
-Wee!
461
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,963
- And you've abandoned me,
just like that.
462
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:28,139
Petetini not leave.
463
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,316
- I paid for
a male friendship doll
464
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,144
with anti-abandonment
programming
465
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:36,974
that could never walk out on me
like my father did.
466
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,976
- Peter, my only boy.
467
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:41,544
Keep boring feelings to self,
'kay?
468
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,720
-I embarrassed for you.
469
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:48,290
- Have the beetles said
when they'll be done
470
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,683
with the reconstruction?
471
00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:51,075
- They're contractors.
472
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,295
Whatever they say,
add six weeks.
473
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,776
Since I'm stuck at home,
how about we watch that
474
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:59,823
"Remember the Beauticians" movie
you're always blathering about?
475
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:03,262
- Sorry, I'm meeting Javi and
the girls in front of the 911.
476
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,654
I worried they'd never
talk to me again,
477
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,047
but they seem sort of fascinated
478
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:08,702
by a haunted funeral home
being my thing.
479
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,181
- Where you two off to?
480
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:12,749
Saturday nights,
we clean sink drains
481
00:21:12,793 --> 00:21:15,578
and listen to podcasts
of people playing Scrabble.
482
00:21:15,622 --> 00:21:18,015
- Actually, Baba, Petetini and I
are going to go drink
483
00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,322
some light beer out of cans.
484
00:21:20,366 --> 00:21:22,368
It's really important
that we take some time
485
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:25,936
to recharge
our masculine energy.
486
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:28,591
- Should have never had kids.
- Should have never had kids.
487
00:21:33,117 --> 00:21:36,120
- She's not coming back, Norma.
488
00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:38,514
- Who would have thought
I'd miss that crazy dreamer.
489
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:41,038
- Well, you're about to miss
Silly Shirt Saturday!
490
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,518
Get in here!
491
00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:45,086
- Here's to you, Martina.
492
00:21:45,129 --> 00:21:47,610
You keep dreaming
those big dreams.
493
00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,047
Enough for all us
crotch beetles.
494
00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:54,835
-And that's the story
of how I went from living
495
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:56,837
in an overcrowded corpse vagina
496
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,231
to living in
a small plastic gymnast.
497
00:22:00,275 --> 00:22:02,625
Never, ever give up
on your dreams.