1 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,310 - Here inside a backyard tree, 2 00:00:06,354 --> 00:00:09,009 a squirrel embarks on her journey into motherhood. 3 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:11,663 This squirrel mother will raise her young son 4 00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,318 without a male partner. 5 00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:17,582 She teaches him skills of survival, 6 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,062 then pushes him to accept 7 00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,195 a suitable mate of her choosing... 8 00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,329 ...and repeat the cycle. 9 00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:36,862 - But things don't always go according to plan. 10 00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:10,896 Is that any good? 11 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,204 - Saturday morning. 12 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:15,205 Time to snoop through 13 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,946 family's trash cans. 14 00:01:16,989 --> 00:01:19,949 Best way to really connect with loved ones. 15 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,779 Hm. Annie still trying. 16 00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:24,997 Good girl. 17 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,565 Okay, Trophy's. 18 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,611 Trophy do better. Huh. 19 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,830 She eat a fruit. 20 00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:33,963 And last, Peter's. 21 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,922 Boy too sensitive to throw anything away. 22 00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,924 Wait. 23 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:40,448 Toenail clippings. 24 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:42,276 Is finally happened! 25 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:45,148 My Peter is officially man! 26 00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:50,153 Yes, Dasha, need woman with working uterus 27 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,155 whose spirit is already broken. 28 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,939 This afternoon perfect! 29 00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,637 Okay. Bye-bye! 30 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,597 Peter! I thought the day would never come. 31 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:01,121 Then, today I find out 32 00:02:01,164 --> 00:02:03,471 you finally ready for marriage! 33 00:02:03,514 --> 00:02:07,170 - Huh? But you always say I'm not boyfriend material. 34 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:10,434 - In old country, at first sign of a man's independence, 35 00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:11,827 he must marry. 36 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,133 This either happens 37 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,873 when he order his own meal 38 00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:16,136 in drive-through... 39 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,659 - I like the way you say 40 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,008 "plain hamburger." 41 00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,792 - ...sleeps alone in own bed 42 00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:22,446 during thunderstorm... 43 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,709 - Well loud noises make me snuggly. 44 00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,885 - ...or cuts his own toenails! 45 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:27,973 - I did do that. 46 00:02:28,017 --> 00:02:29,323 My shoes were starting to hurt 47 00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:30,802 and I didn't want to bother you 48 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,804 while you were gnawing on your breakfast jerky. 49 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:35,198 - Your bride, Svetlana, arrive this afternoon. 50 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,200 You marry immediately. - But, Baba, 51 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:40,725 I intend to meet the love of my life rom-com-style. 52 00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:42,379 - Rom-com? - We'll lock eyes 53 00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:44,468 across a crowded room. - Eyes. 54 00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:47,036 - Or bump into each other at the office 55 00:02:47,079 --> 00:02:48,864 - Office? - and I'll drop all my papers. 56 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,866 Or we'll accidentally reach for something 57 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,215 at the same time and -- 58 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,391 Whoops! That's amore! 59 00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:56,176 - Oops, that's a-stupid. 60 00:02:56,219 --> 00:02:59,179 You have traditional old country wedding. 61 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,398 I go knit yak-hair vest for ceremony. 62 00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,576 I'll just hide in here for a few years, 63 00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,578 until Baba can respect my wishes. 64 00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:09,580 - Get out! - Oh! 65 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,409 Aah! Uhhh! - Shh! It's me! 66 00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,671 I was just messing with you. 67 00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,499 - Trophy, go hide in your own closet. 68 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:17,849 I'm gonna to need to be in here for a while. 69 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,330 - But your closet's the only one with a toilet. 70 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,506 - There's no toilet! 71 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,768 - Oops. - Get out of here 72 00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,248 and let me hide in peace. 73 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,032 Otherwise, Baba will force me 74 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,209 into an arranged marriage. 75 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,689 - Sorry, Pete, but, we all saw it coming. 76 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,778 She's been grooming you to be her spouse 77 00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,345 since childhood. 78 00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,695 - Wait, why are you hiding in here? 79 00:03:37,739 --> 00:03:40,916 - No reason. Just chilling. 80 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,874 - Aah! - There you are, Mom. 81 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:45,225 The bird watching bus is picking us up soon. 82 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,749 Today we try to spot the common pigeon. 83 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:50,534 I promised. You said you would go. 84 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,101 - Annie, not all mommies are 85 00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,103 chaperone material. 86 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,714 - Actually, due to budget cuts, the school district stopped 87 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,107 doing background checks, so, 88 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,762 everyone's chaperone material now. 89 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,154 - Now, where do we hide? 90 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:04,635 - You know what? I have an easy-peasy idea 91 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:07,769 that can help us both. 92 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,772 We'll keep this simple. 93 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,774 I'll just zap my spirit into this 94 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,776 unclaimed corpse -- 95 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,647 Susan, here -- and then pretend to be 96 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:18,910 your fiancé that you've kept secret from Baba. 97 00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:23,088 - And Susan's spirit will go into your body? 98 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,482 - Yeah, her dead spirit. 99 00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,267 You'll just strap some rollerblades 100 00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:31,967 on my lifeless body and send me on the bird trip. 101 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,751 - Please have dimples, please have dimples. 102 00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,581 - Ah. So, once you're inside Susan, 103 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:39,322 you and I will get married, instead, 104 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,411 and, since it's not your body, 105 00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:43,935 it won't be weird for us to... 106 00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:45,807 you know. - No! No. 107 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,025 It's temporary. 108 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,331 But that should be plenty of time 109 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:51,116 for you to introduce "Susan" to Baba 110 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,944 and get her to call off the wedding. 111 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:54,642 More importantly, I'll avoid 112 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,122 that mother-daughter pigeon thing! 113 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,776 Okay? Back up! 114 00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,352 - But things don't always go 115 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,616 according to plan. 116 00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,620 - Oh, no! 117 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,365 - Pretty sure Susan, here, OD'd on heroin. 118 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,541 But now I get what all the fuss is about. 119 00:05:24,585 --> 00:05:26,369 - Where'd your soul land, 120 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,631 Mr. Whiskers? 121 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:32,549 - That thing is gonna ruin my manicure! 122 00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,335 - There you are! The bus is here! 123 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,076 I made you that seed bark you always refuse to try. 124 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,644 Catch! Once you get past the first twenty bites, 125 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,472 you really start to crave it, right? 126 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,256 See ya, Pete! Just a heads-up -- 127 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,693 that corpse isn't dead yet. 128 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:46,998 Come on. 129 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:50,045 - That squirrel's gonna be a great mom. 130 00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,352 - I still can't believe you're actually coming. 131 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,832 You look excited, too, but let's not have a repeat 132 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:56,225 of my parent-teacher conferences. 133 00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:58,183 No inciting violence, sex, 134 00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,837 or violent sex, okay? 135 00:05:59,881 --> 00:06:02,231 - Caw-caw, caw-caw! 136 00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,275 - Caw-caw! 137 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,712 - And a caw-caw to you, 138 00:06:04,755 --> 00:06:06,409 my fellow enthusiasts. 139 00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,063 This is my mom, Trophy. 140 00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:09,934 See? I told you she's real! 141 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:13,111 - Glad you could finally come! 142 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:17,681 - -She can migrate south on me all winter long. 143 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:18,856 Am I right, Ralphie? 144 00:06:21,163 --> 00:06:23,208 - You've been practicing your bird calls. 145 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:26,037 Pigeon fever is contagious! 146 00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:30,564 - I've never been inside this shape before. 147 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:33,393 - I think you look cute. - Peter, 148 00:06:33,436 --> 00:06:36,047 I have wedding vest for you. 149 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,614 Oh hoh hoh. 150 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,703 Holds eye contact, 151 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,532 doesn't cower at my scowl. 152 00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:45,274 I ordered easily intimidated bride. 153 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,623 This not Svetlana. 154 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:49,452 Pete! Find return label. I get crate. 155 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:53,325 - Baba, I was afraid to tell you before, but I'm already engaged, 156 00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:56,154 to this wonderful human woman, Susan. 157 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,547 We're very much in love, 158 00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,940 so I don't need an arranged marriage. 159 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:01,551 - You keep secret from Baba? 160 00:07:01,595 --> 00:07:02,813 Why? 161 00:07:02,857 --> 00:07:04,424 You tell me everything. 162 00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,730 - I do! I can't argue with that! 163 00:07:06,774 --> 00:07:09,080 - We're so very much in love, 164 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:12,432 but we were afraid you'd be angry Pete chose his own wife. 165 00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,651 - I wasn't afraid of you, Baba. 166 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,174 I was afraid of your reaction. 167 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,349 - Shut face hole! 168 00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:19,090 Okay. Baba see 169 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,179 if you good match for Peter. 170 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,920 - Uh... - First test. 171 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:26,271 Why can't Peter speak, if he looking at sweet cream? 172 00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,273 - Because Pete can't stop drinking sweet cream 173 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:30,580 until he hits 64 full ounces. 174 00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:31,755 - Drinking how? 175 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,365 - In tiny sips, 176 00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:35,280 with his eyes clenched shut! 177 00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,457 And his toes curled. 178 00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,633 - Lucky guess. 179 00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,464 - Okey-dokey, Baba be straight with you. 180 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,466 I think you corpse. 181 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,946 The only part of me that's dead is 182 00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:52,863 my ambition to lead an independent, fulfilling life. 183 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:54,386 No, thank you. 184 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:58,129 - Hmm, you seem like the perfect daughter-in-law. 185 00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,827 Maybe too perfect! 186 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:02,699 - Not robot. 187 00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:05,310 Not marionette. Very well. 188 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:06,616 I accept this pairing. 189 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,792 - Great. So, Susan and I have 190 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:11,186 some fiancée-ing to go do in my room. 191 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:14,319 - No. You must go let Svetlana down in person. 192 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:17,888 You meet her in half of an hour at Fort Gator Wax Museum. 193 00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:20,151 - What?! Don't make me confront Svetlana 194 00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,501 with a gallon of cream in me. 195 00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:23,067 I don't want any trauma 196 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,982 attached to the cream! - Bye-bye! 197 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:34,426 - Gather 'round, George W. Bush Memorial High birders. 198 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:38,387 As you know, Annie Fantasy organized this watch 199 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:41,172 and she will now -- very briefly -- explain. 200 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,826 - Did you know pigeons mate for life? I do. 201 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,046 Did you know pigeons come in 28 different colored designs 202 00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,569 and often place their beak inside their partner's beak 203 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,875 to reinforce their pair bond? 204 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,833 Separate genes control -- - Great Wikipedia 205 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:51,182 energy, Annie. 206 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:53,358 Here's a list of plumage varieties 207 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,056 and pigeon behaviors to look for. 208 00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:59,103 Not sure how many we'll see, but remember our mantra -- 209 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:02,367 "We choose to spend our time this way." 210 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:05,893 - I don't see a ring on those slightly bluish fingers. 211 00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,548 Is there a lucky SOB at home I should know about? 212 00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:10,767 That stands for spouse-of-birder. 213 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,557 - Women love to be chased. Watch this. 214 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,297 - Dad, you promised to stop saying that 215 00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,473 every time you see a woman running. 216 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,564 - I think she just spotted an ash red. 217 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,957 Wow! I've never seen her run toward something. 218 00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,090 She's a real natural at this. 219 00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,308 Coming, Mom! 220 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,095 - Let's find Svetlana and let her down quick, 221 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:35,575 so we can get to the room 222 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,882 of wax Patrick Swayzes! 223 00:09:38,926 --> 00:09:41,058 Aah! - Easy, there. 224 00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,713 Gotta say, this feels pretty natural. 225 00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,759 - Still your sister! - Right. 226 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:48,065 - My liver always swells with pride, 227 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,720 looking at Florida's rich heritage. 228 00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:56,073 Don't look now, but I think I see el brido. 229 00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:57,466 - Can you tell her, Troph? 230 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,424 When I get nervous, my throat closes up 231 00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,470 and the only sound I can make is -- 232 00:10:02,863 --> 00:10:05,082 - ASMR scissor snipping sounds. I know. 233 00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:07,084 Fine, I'll do it. Just meet me 234 00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:10,435 at the Top Moments in Breastaurant History Gallery. 235 00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,959 - Oh thank you, thank you! 236 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:13,917 - Hi, Svetlana? 237 00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:17,007 So, I'm sorry to tell you this, but the marriage is off. 238 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:20,315 Mm-hmm. Well, you probably want to be alone with your thoughts, 239 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:23,100 so, safe travels, Svet-blah-blah-blah. 240 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:28,671 - I love your pigeon passion, but in birding, 241 00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,673 we don't get that close to the action. 242 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,196 It's different from cock fighting. 243 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,938 Mom! That tickles! 244 00:10:34,982 --> 00:10:36,679 Birding really brings out your silly side. 245 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,986 - What? Did you spot something? 246 00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:40,640 Whoa! Mom? 247 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,165 - Your mom is scaring the birds. 248 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,123 That violates our cardinal rule! 249 00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:47,516 - Don't judge, Carmen. 250 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,127 My mom's the best birder and parent here. 251 00:10:50,171 --> 00:10:51,781 Mom, don't! 252 00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:53,870 - Um, Annie. 253 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:55,176 Um, is your mom 254 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,308 number twoing in the thicket? 255 00:10:57,352 --> 00:11:00,485 - I should've pointed out the restrooms back 256 00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:02,183 at the info center. 257 00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,489 - Must be all the birdseed granola bars. 258 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,361 They're really high in fiber. 259 00:11:06,404 --> 00:11:08,145 - Welp, that's my trigger. You're sleeping 260 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:09,712 on the pull-out couch tonight, son. 261 00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,541 - Why did you get us bunk beds, in the first place? 262 00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,376 - Ooh! 263 00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:22,507 Whoops! 264 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,512 - Oh, excuse my pardons, please. 265 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,818 I so nervous. 266 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,428 I meet dream husband -- 267 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,735 his name Peter -- for first time today. 268 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,999 - You have the deepest dimples I've ever seen! 269 00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:38,698 - Sir! You mustn't say this. 270 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,830 I almost-married woman. 271 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:41,918 - Svetlana?! 272 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:43,833 I'm Peter! 273 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:44,878 - Peter? 274 00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:53,103 - Mama, Mama. snack bar? 275 00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:55,845 snack bar. 276 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,369 - You have a son? - Yes, his name is Peter Jr. 277 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:01,372 I'm his biological father?! 278 00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,896 - How would that be possible? 279 00:12:02,939 --> 00:12:04,549 - I don't know. Baba always says 280 00:12:04,593 --> 00:12:07,378 the way children appear is none of my business. 281 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:10,033 - Ah, his papa die of anxiety during my childbirth. 282 00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,035 I never thought I marry again. 283 00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,081 But, when matchmaker called and said 284 00:12:14,124 --> 00:12:17,780 wonderful man named Peter needed an old-country wife, 285 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:21,915 and my son being named Peter, I thought for myself, maybe... 286 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,395 - I'm like an adult version of your son, 287 00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:28,573 which is every woman's greatest desire in a husband. 288 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:32,099 Is he drinking sweet cream? 289 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,231 -Da. This sound silly. 290 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:38,279 It is favorite, but he like to drink it really slow. 291 00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,891 For me, the sweeter the cream, the stronger the meat. 292 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:51,814 - Susan? 293 00:12:51,858 --> 00:12:53,076 Oh, my God! 294 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,164 Susan? 295 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,430 - Susan? 296 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,389 - Patrick? - You always said I resembled 297 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:03,260 Patrick Swayze, but I don't see it. 298 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:06,350 - Susan? I mean, I'm Susan. 299 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,525 Who else would I be in her body? 300 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:10,311 So you and I -- Susan -- we are... 301 00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:12,139 we're friends? Hmm? Mm-hmm. 302 00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:13,575 - Glad you're okay. 303 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,185 Last time we partied, I had to leave you 304 00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,839 at the front door of the ER. 305 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,755 - Um, thanks, um, but why are you desecrating 306 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,278 Mr. Point Break Swayze? 307 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:22,714 - Don't you remember? 308 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:25,369 I hide my illegal narcotics all around town. 309 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,718 Just like a squirrel. 310 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,242 That's why they call me Squirrel. 311 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,766 Come on. 312 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,029 - Huh, did you know this big guy's addiction 313 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:35,379 to eating human flesh didn't stop him from becoming 314 00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:37,991 the mayor of Fort Meyers? 315 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,644 So much to learn. 316 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,342 Susan is smart. 317 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:42,909 - You're gonna love these, Susan. 318 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:44,867 I know a place where we can sample the goods 319 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,696 and have wasted sex to the "Roadhouse" soundtrack. 320 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:50,003 Just like the old days, Susan. Remember? 321 00:13:50,046 --> 00:13:51,961 Just like before I took you to the ER. 322 00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:54,181 - I'm going to have the time of my life. 323 00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:57,793 And I owe it all to Sue. 324 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:58,925 - Phew! 325 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,709 Nice viewing perch. 326 00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,493 Did you lead me up here so we could sneak 327 00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:05,018 in a little mother-daughter bonding time? 328 00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,410 - There are so many things 329 00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,717 I've been wanting to talk with you about. 330 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,240 I had this dream a couple days ago 331 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,242 where I wore shorts to school 332 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,549 and things seemed to go pretty well? 333 00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:17,073 Do you think my calves could handle that in real life? 334 00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:20,120 Because I think clamdiggers are the best I can do right now. 335 00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,425 - What a magical day. 336 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:24,211 I feel like we're finally connecting. 337 00:14:24,254 --> 00:14:25,908 I love you, Mom. 338 00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:29,738 - Wait a minute. 339 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:31,000 Food deposits in cheeks. 340 00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:32,393 Climbing ability. 341 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,743 Number two'ing outside in the daytime. 342 00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,484 You switched souls 343 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,790 with a squirrel to avoid my field trip! 344 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:39,922 Didn't you? 345 00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,968 But you did send your body. 346 00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:45,623 I guess that means you really do care about me. 347 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,887 You just misinterpret my radical acceptance 348 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,801 as stupidity, don't you? 349 00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,021 Don't you? Aww. 350 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,936 Well, at least you didn't make me go to 351 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,460 another school thing alone. That's something. 352 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,245 - How about a ride back down the tree? 353 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:04,512 - Dasha, arranged marriage off. 354 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:08,037 Peter already have secret fiancée who might be his sister. 355 00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,300 I know. This Old country way, 356 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:13,825 but I always thought Petey fall in love "The Fast & The Furious" 357 00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:17,960 style, where sexual tension meet illegal street racing, 358 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:22,182 resulting in makeshift family of gorgeous misfits. 359 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,358 Ah, oh, well. Bye-bye. 360 00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:29,624 So, you telling me these kids get break from college, 361 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,801 drink malt lemonade, walk into ocean and die, 362 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:35,673 and then you make the money from their funerals? 363 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,198 This is the American dream. 364 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:41,288 - I know. It sounds like a fairytale, but it's true. 365 00:15:41,331 --> 00:15:42,942 - Tell us more, Dada. 366 00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,640 - I having too much fun, Peter. 367 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,643 I so glad you too milky to find own wife. 368 00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:50,471 - Svetlana, I need to tell you something -- 369 00:15:52,081 --> 00:15:53,996 It's my mother. I should take this. 370 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,347 You might as well get used to her coming between us. 371 00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:58,958 - Of course, my Peter. 372 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,742 - Baba, I'm glad you called. 373 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:03,049 About Svetlana, I think I love her. 374 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,528 - Baba fix. 375 00:16:04,572 --> 00:16:05,877 Bring Susan home now. 376 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,401 Wedding need to start ASAP 377 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,229 because Baba go to bed in 30 minute. 378 00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,535 - What? No, Baba, you don't under-- 379 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,974 - Baba find Svetlana new fiancé approved by village. 380 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,236 Amazing man. 381 00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,107 Lives four blocks from beach. 382 00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,674 More hair on arms. 383 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,806 Matchmaker calling Svetlana now. 384 00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:24,026 - Baba, wait! I love Svetlana, not Susan. 385 00:16:24,070 --> 00:16:25,332 Oh, no! 386 00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:26,768 - How much hair on arms? - Svetlana! 387 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,552 - And what about fingers? 388 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,380 - Oh! That's a lot better! 389 00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,686 - Svetlana! - Thank you. 390 00:16:31,729 --> 00:16:34,645 - Peter, my great day now even better. 391 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:37,474 Since you lie to me and not say you already engaged 392 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:40,651 to local woman, I get to marry man named Choad. 393 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,089 - Susan isn't really my fiancée. 394 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:47,267 I only told Baba she was because I wanted to find love on my own. 395 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,311 Then I did. 396 00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:50,313 With you and Pete Jr. 397 00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,272 Let's forget about Susan and Choad. 398 00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:53,708 Call the matchmaker back. 399 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,318 Tell her you're going to marry me. 400 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:58,234 - Peter, oh, sweet foolish Peter. 401 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:01,672 Don't you know that love always begins by deceiving one's self, 402 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,023 and always ends by deceiving others. 403 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:06,460 That is what the world calls romance. 404 00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:07,939 Plus, Choad has hairier arms. 405 00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,550 You understand. - No! 406 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,030 No! 407 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,335 If I had to do it over, 408 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:13,728 I would have never gotten engaged 409 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,556 to my resurrected sister's spirit 410 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:19,429 inside another woman's decaying corpse. 411 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,518 - Like turducken. Yes, I see. 412 00:17:21,562 --> 00:17:23,390 I wish you every happiness, Peter. 413 00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:25,957 Go to corpse-sister Susan, work things out. 414 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,221 Maybe we meet again one day. 415 00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,835 - We're almost at the end of the trail, everyone. 416 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,924 Now, I know what you're thinking. 417 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,100 If you'd joined loom club instead, 418 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:41,712 you would've gotten to make a potholder this afternoon. 419 00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:44,367 But remember our other motto. 420 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:47,370 - No club prepares you for life's disappointments 421 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,155 like birding club. 422 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:51,592 -Shh! I hear a bird. 423 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,897 A living one. 424 00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,290 Try to spot it, everybody. 425 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:57,337 - Oh, my gosh, it's a white-crested pied. 426 00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:00,601 It's got a nest full of eggs! 427 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,343 - Ms. Fantasy, halt! 428 00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,909 By the order of the bird watchers! 429 00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,433 - That's not a real thing, Ralphie. 430 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,870 - Your mother is going right up to the nest. 431 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,480 Why is she getting so close? 432 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,265 - Maybe we could bribe her back down. 433 00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:14,049 Does anyone see any acorns? 434 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,790 - Don't feed her more! 435 00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,531 We don't need to watch her poop again. 436 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,750 - Speak for yourself, Carmen. 437 00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,811 - Annie, I can't believe this. 438 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:40,510 Your mother appears to be communicating with a bird! 439 00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,772 - That's my mom. 440 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,383 - Why don't you ever talk to birds? 441 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,428 - Baby, I can barely talk to your father. 442 00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,952 - She's bringing down the pigeon and the nest! 443 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,477 - Oh, wow. - Amazing. 444 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,000 - Your mother really knows 445 00:18:52,043 --> 00:18:54,742 how to spice up ornithology, Annie. 446 00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,918 - I think the eggs are about to hatch. 447 00:18:56,961 --> 00:19:00,095 Birders, get your cameras out. 448 00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:03,838 - Oh, the miracle of -- 449 00:19:03,881 --> 00:19:06,841 Oh! 450 00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,625 - No one ever comes in here. 451 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:11,106 - So how hard do we like to party? 452 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,587 Because it's been too long for old Susan. 453 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,589 Foreplay. 454 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,199 - Oh, Susan, these will make you 455 00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,767 hallucinate eight heads on everyone. 456 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:23,553 So it'll feel like an orgy with just the two of us. 457 00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,251 - Oh, wait. Damn it. 458 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:28,254 I have one more stash in the "Garfield & Friends" wing. 459 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,429 Don't move. 460 00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:31,213 I'll be right back. 461 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:34,608 - I'm about to get high and boink might-as-well-be Patrick Swayze. 462 00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:37,480 And to think I could be on a birdwatching trip! 463 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,266 - No! No, no. 464 00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:41,789 Time can't be up yet. 465 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,704 No, no, no! 466 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:52,974 - Not again. 467 00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,194 - Hey, Andre, I found that misplaced hitchhiker 468 00:19:55,237 --> 00:19:57,370 from the Hall of Dangerous Situations for Women. 469 00:19:57,413 --> 00:20:00,242 I'mma take her back. 470 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:03,941 - I'd better not still be on that fucking birdwatching trip! 471 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,385 - You discovered an entirely new species, Mom. 472 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,908 Even if you really are a squirrel, 473 00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,171 this is the best day we've ever had. 474 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,738 Thank you. 475 00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:23,091 - Shit. 476 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:24,658 Ugh! 477 00:20:24,701 --> 00:20:26,137 Did I eat carbs today? 478 00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,618 - You were a great Mom today. 479 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:31,055 - I was? Oh, fabulous. 480 00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,361 Maybe for your choir recital 481 00:20:32,405 --> 00:20:34,668 I can swap bodies with the morgue goat. 482 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,800 - He does love Philip Glass. 483 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:39,760 - That was just amazing, Mrs. Fantasy. 484 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,283 Birder of the year! 485 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,329 Birder of the year! 486 00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:46,288 Chant with me, I'm feeling very self-conscious right now. 487 00:20:46,332 --> 00:20:47,811 - Birder of the Year! 488 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:49,770 Birder of the Year! Birder of the Year! 489 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:52,033 - That's me. 490 00:20:52,076 --> 00:20:53,861 - Trophy! There you are. 491 00:20:53,904 --> 00:20:56,646 I think we should just get married to appease Baba. 492 00:20:56,690 --> 00:21:00,128 That's what my therapist calls "exactly the problem." 493 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,789 Okay, so maybe no s-e-x, but... 494 00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:13,707 Whoa! 495 00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:15,274 So... 496 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:17,493 what's your son's name? 497 00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:54,791 - Cream, Mama? 498 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:57,751 - Hey, I told you, no more of that stuff. 499 00:21:57,794 --> 00:22:00,928 Only freaks drink sweet cream! 500 00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:03,931 - Choad, please! - You better start acting right 501 00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:07,587 if you want to earn the name of Choad Jr. 502 00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:09,980 - Maybe I should have married Peter. 503 00:22:10,024 --> 00:22:13,506 Oh, if only his arms had more hairs.