1 00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:02,066 [ baby crying ] 2 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:06,338 -♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪ 3 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,541 ♪ some of my devils up and left me free ♪ 4 00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,543 ♪ to find a quiet space ♪ 5 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,878 ♪ I'm not as out of place ♪ 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,482 ♪ and I'm coming home again ♪ 7 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,084 ♪ it's been too long a time ♪ 8 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,087 ♪ gettin' back what's mine ♪ 9 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:26,825 ♪ and I can't remember why I went away ♪ 10 00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:31,764 ♪ but it's looking now like maybe I can stay ♪ 11 00:00:31,766 --> 00:00:33,966 Was that any good? 12 00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,900 [ electronic tones warble ] 13 00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:37,502 -I've been streaming some examples 14 00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,904 Of how moms connect with their daughters. 15 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,173 Seems like we're supposed to binge-eat 16 00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,707 While talking about disappointment. 17 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,908 Mm? You go fir-- 18 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,177 -[ foreign accent ] hey! Trophy! 19 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,379 Get to work, you spoiled potato couch! 20 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,115 We funeral home, not cruise ship deck! 21 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:52,584 -I am at work -- being a stay-at-home mom to annie. 22 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,919 -Hey! Motherhood curse, not job. 23 00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:58,457 -We are working on our mother-daughter bond, baba. 24 00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,659 We can't just expect her to suddenly know 25 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,928 How to make hot cocoa or listen when I talk. 26 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,730 -It'll free up a lot of my emotional bandwidth 27 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,200 When my spray-tan membership expires next month. 28 00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:11,403 -Look! I give ultimatum my baba gave me -- 29 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,205 Work for family funeral home, 30 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:16,341 Get job in village, or marry brother. 31 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,143 -You picked funeral home, right? 32 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:20,212 -I don't remember. My baba chose for me. 33 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,481 -Hey, sis! You know I'm game for whatevs, 34 00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:24,883 But I picked "work for family funeral home." 35 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:26,685 I was born with resting-grief-face, 36 00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:27,886 I get to work with my mom, 37 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,688 And touching corpses doesn't bother me. 38 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,623 In fact, I prefer it! 39 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,492 -I'll get a job. 40 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:35,227 ♪♪ 41 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:38,163 -You're not remotely qualified for these positions. 42 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,632 Architect? Gastrointestinal surgeon? 43 00:01:40,634 --> 00:01:41,900 Female ghostbuster? 44 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,768 You're a high school-dropout. 45 00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,504 -With escort experience. 46 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,106 -Under "employment history" you've just listed movies 47 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,708 You've seen in the theater. 48 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,510 You saw "homeward bound" twice? 49 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:54,112 -The dogs and cats talk in it. [ device chimes ] 50 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,715 -The app requires a florida thumbprint? 51 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,383 -Ugh. 52 00:01:58,385 --> 00:01:59,251 There we are. 53 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:01,220 [ device chirps ] [ alarm wailing ] 54 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,992 [ screams ] oh, no! 55 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,327 Instead of arresting me, 56 00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:11,596 What do you say I flash you for it, mm? 57 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,331 -You have the right to remain clothed. 58 00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,467 Any breasts you expose can and will be held against you 59 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,736 In a court of law. -[ sighs ] ugh. 60 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,271 ♪♪ 61 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,139 -Your honor, my client is now aware 62 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,808 That mermaids aren't real -- ever. 63 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,143 In addition, he's prepared 64 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,745 To completely abstain from energy drinks. 65 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,214 -A misunderstanding is what it was. 66 00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:31,216 -I'll dismiss the charges, but you're not allowed 67 00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:33,085 Within 1,000 feet of a manatee. 68 00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,688 Unless, of course, it's over the age of consent. 69 00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:38,156 -Potential felon 223. 70 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,025 -Where's my lawyer? -Did you download the app? 71 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:42,427 -No? -Oh, you should have. 72 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:45,564 Trophy fantasy, you have numerous outstanding warrants. 73 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:49,033 Petty theft, arson, lewd behavior in a buffet restaurant. 74 00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,435 What say you in your defense? 75 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:53,371 -I would like to present into evidence -- 76 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,774 -You are hereby sentenced to community service 77 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,242 Mentoring teen runaways. 78 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,311 If you can scare them straight, I'll waive your charges. 79 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,845 If not, it's hard labor 80 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,847 Spell checking dear leader's social media. Next! 81 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,250 -But, your hono-gram, I'm no good with children. 82 00:03:05,252 --> 00:03:07,452 Plus I-I already am a stay-at-home mom. 83 00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:10,054 My -- my daughter annie is the teen who needs me. 84 00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,990 -Does your daughter have any exceptional needs? 85 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:15,260 -She's exceptionally needy! Or neglected? 86 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,129 Uh, I forget which is which is which is which. 87 00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:19,197 -Step forward. Due to budget cuts, 88 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,665 We've replaced parole officers 89 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,334 With uptight, underage tattletales. 90 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:25,003 It's a pilot program we're calling "lil' po." 91 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,539 You a snitch? -My gym teacher who steals cigarettes 92 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,075 From the sophomore she's having sex with says I am. 93 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,010 -Sold. You are hereby deputized 94 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,146 By the franchise-territory of florida. 95 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:36,748 I'm releasing your mother into your recognizance. 96 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,384 [ gavel bangs ] -oh. 97 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:43,422 [ both sobbing ] 98 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,491 -Mr. And mrs. Cuddlefish, feel free to take 99 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:49,762 As long as you need with your final good-byes. 100 00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:51,964 I see here you've ordered loki's cremains 101 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,966 Put inside the screen of an ipad? 102 00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:57,770 -So we can keep playing "worried geese" together. 103 00:03:57,772 --> 00:04:00,172 I won't let the quacks stop! 104 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,974 -I don't know how we'll get through 105 00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:04,042 This first night without him. 106 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,311 It was always the three of us! 107 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,712 -[ sobbing ] 108 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,983 -Pete, have lester and I told you how much 109 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:13,051 You remind us of loki? 110 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,487 -You're practically his twin! 111 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,191 -If there is anything I can do, 112 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,526 You know our motto here at tender endings. 113 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,862 ♪ have your grief your way ♪ 114 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:27,599 -Hmm. Could you possibly come to our house tonight? 115 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,001 -Of course. 116 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,935 I believe your super deluxe package 117 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:35,107 Actually includes one in-home grief counseling session. 118 00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:39,411 -The file said the runaways are a three-person gang 119 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,145 Called the killmore girls. 120 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,481 Good luck scaring them. 121 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:45,417 They have a lot of unresolved feelings. 122 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,820 -You know, I also saw on tv that moms should 123 00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:50,154 Encourage their daughters to confront their fears. 124 00:04:50,156 --> 00:04:51,356 It builds resilience. 125 00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,492 I'm gonna let you handle the mentoring. 126 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,426 -What?! 127 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,294 -Ugh, this is so boring. -Oh. 128 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,431 -[ clears throat ] -um, hello, goth peers. 129 00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:02,634 I'm annie, a registered lil' po. 130 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:06,171 How about we go around and state your name and why you're here? 131 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:08,440 -I'm infinitee, and I've killed. 132 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,709 -I'm eternitee, and I've killed. 133 00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:13,178 -I'm monotonie, and I buried the dead bodies. 134 00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,380 I'm a helper. Is that a dead body? 135 00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:17,115 -She's undead, not dead. 136 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,917 -Is this grammar? I hate grammar. 137 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:21,053 -We're actually gonna begin the day with goals. 138 00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,987 What's a dream job for each of you? 139 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:27,392 I'll start -- I want to raise peacocks as pets, not meat. 140 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:28,993 -Hey, guys, let's get out of here. 141 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:32,397 This place has, like, real second-chance energy. 142 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,667 -Let's go stare at that lake that's on fire. 143 00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:38,002 -Come back! Next, we get to use pipe cleaners 144 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,672 To express our insecurities! 145 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,874 -I got this, hon. 146 00:05:41,876 --> 00:05:44,676 Yeah, that annie girl is super lame. 147 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:48,146 Follow me. I know where we can get some, like, food for free. 148 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,083 -I'll bring the pipe cleaners just in case there's a wait 149 00:05:51,085 --> 00:05:52,751 For a table of five. 150 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:59,491 -It's going to take a long time to process the loss of loki, 151 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,226 But that's why I'm here. 152 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,494 -We were hoping you would feel that way. 153 00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,563 -I find it best to not let go. 154 00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,631 Just keep holdin' on forever. 155 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:09,101 Sorrow can last a lifetime, if you do it right. 156 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:13,105 -If you like those pictures, you'll love the ones upstairs. 157 00:06:13,107 --> 00:06:15,440 ♪♪ 158 00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:17,776 -[ belches, gags ] -wow! 159 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,444 -Once your organs disintegrate, 160 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,314 There's a lot more room for hot dogs in there. 161 00:06:22,316 --> 00:06:23,916 -It's kind of hot, in a gross way. 162 00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:26,851 -You really did used to be like us -- but better. 163 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,654 -You make me nostalgic for my wild teen years. 164 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:32,190 Maybe my resurrection is also a second chance 165 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,658 To have adolescent fun? 166 00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,328 Because first time, I squandered my life. 167 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:40,132 Got caught up in nihilism and despair. 168 00:06:40,134 --> 00:06:41,466 -Nice mentoring. 169 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,935 Connecting with their despondence 170 00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:44,736 By talking about your suicide. 171 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,673 Really brave. -No, I mean my teen pregnancy. 172 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:51,009 Girls, no matter how bad you screw up, 173 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,613 There's no mistake you can't "talk" your way out of -- 174 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,949 Unless you keep the baby. 175 00:06:56,951 --> 00:07:00,485 -I'd only want one if it could be like that doll from "child's play." 176 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,887 -Trophy? Quick word in private? 177 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,289 -No secrets, annie. 178 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,757 Don't be rude to the gang. 179 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,760 -How am I the worst mistake of your life? 180 00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:10,228 You left town three days after you gave birth! 181 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,164 And you once joined a crossfit gym 182 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,698 That harvested your kidney! 183 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,634 -Why you gotta be such a buzzkill to your sister? 184 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:18,036 -She's my mother! -If she never mothered you, 185 00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,638 Seems more like she's your sister to me. 186 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,774 -Sorry, I need to close out your tab. 187 00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:23,642 You've ordered the maximum number of hot dogs 188 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,844 We're legally allowed to serve to a group of women. 189 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:28,580 You're welcome back later with a male chaperone. 190 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,283 -[ whispers ] we're not paying. Watch this. 191 00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,586 [ growling voice ] death powers. 192 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:39,324 ♪♪ 193 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,059 -Did those beetles come out of her -- 194 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,462 -It's better not to think about it. -But I want to. 195 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,798 I may have just figured out my dream job. 196 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,065 -Hey! 197 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:52,137 ♪♪ 198 00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:56,274 -That's my favorite portrait of the three of us. 199 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,143 -You slept together? 200 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,812 -Absolutely. 201 00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:02,347 -We know it's not traditional, but -- 202 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:03,682 -Say no more. 203 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,951 Parenting, like grief, takes many forms. 204 00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,487 -Loki wasn't our son. 205 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:09,554 He was our lover. 206 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,756 The three of us were a triad. 207 00:08:11,758 --> 00:08:13,291 Have you ever heard of polyamory? 208 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,293 -Oh, it's time to renew our vows. 209 00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,962 -Once the divorce rate topped 90%, florida decided 210 00:08:17,964 --> 00:08:21,099 To make marriages auto-expire every 24 hours. 211 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,501 -You just use the app. 212 00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,436 -We were married for almost a decade. 213 00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:26,038 But now, without a third person... 214 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,573 It's like the vows have lost all meaning. 215 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,243 -Like the pledge of allegiance, or an mfa. 216 00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:33,045 -[ over speakers ] please complete vows in 30 seconds 217 00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,779 To remain lawfully wed. 218 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:37,049 30, 29... -Won't you join us, pete? 219 00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:41,119 -Till death or 24 hours from now do us part. 220 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:45,123 -I think it would really help us with our mourning. 221 00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,260 -One really shouldn't make hasty decisions 222 00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,862 After the death of a loved one, 223 00:08:49,864 --> 00:08:52,330 But rebound weddings are included 224 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:54,132 In the super deluxe package. 225 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,467 My idea. 226 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,469 -Throw! Throw! Throw! 227 00:08:57,471 --> 00:08:59,337 -Oh! -Here it goes! 228 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,005 Huegh! 229 00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,541 -Take that society! [ car horn honks ] 230 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:05,143 -Okay, g-8-t-r-6-9-r. -Whee! 231 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,546 -Why are you writing down license plate numbers? -Hah! Take that! 232 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,347 -So we can send apology notes. -Yeah! [ laughing ] 233 00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:12,016 -Or hand-deliver. I don't think we can afford this many stamps. 234 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,219 -Ear popper? Helps with anxiety. 235 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,888 -You suffer from anxiety? 236 00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:18,957 -Yeah, fear of getting last place in wet t-shirt contests. 237 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:21,426 You know, it happens to good people every day. 238 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,228 -Wet t-shirt contest! 239 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,829 [ all cheering, laughing ] 240 00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:27,699 -Trophy, as your lil' po, I demand you -- 241 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,635 -Somebody's gotta be last place! -Auuugh! 242 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,504 -Ugh! Seriously?! [ sirens wailing ] 243 00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:34,573 If I weren't wearing a rubber undershirt, 244 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:35,974 I'd be soaked to the bone. 245 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,910 If you'd rather pretend to be a teenager 246 00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:41,246 With these screw-ups than spend time with me, fine! [ laughter ] 247 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,583 Enjoy being a slave in a social media sweatshop. 248 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,719 -Trophy! Let's put some t-shirts on some roadkill 249 00:09:46,721 --> 00:09:48,587 And get them wet! [ car horns honking ] 250 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,556 [ sirens wailing ] [ shouting ] 251 00:09:52,727 --> 00:09:55,527 -Who even does wet t-shirt contests anymore? 252 00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:57,996 That's, like, so male-gaze. 253 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:02,001 Exposing your breasts is not a successful life strategy. 254 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,469 You're okay, annie. 255 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,939 Fear of abandonment is character building. 256 00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:10,475 Unlike my fear of zippers, which I just need to work on. 257 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,744 [ tires squeal ] 258 00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:15,314 -Get in quick before the police find us. 259 00:10:15,316 --> 00:10:17,516 ♪♪ 260 00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:19,450 -Girls, I'm mrs. Clomid. [ laughter ] 261 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,853 I run a place that helps young women like you -- 262 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,989 In need of support or escape. 263 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,257 Good thing I keep my police scanner on 264 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,994 As I drive around town picking up teen girls 265 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,729 Thrown away by their families. 266 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,063 -Oh, I'm not a runaway. 267 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,933 I'm related to trophy -- through birth. 268 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,468 She's easily distracted, but... -Again. Again. 269 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,270 -...Deep down, she loves me. 270 00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,139 Pretty sure. 271 00:10:40,141 --> 00:10:43,608 -Now you're officially a killmore girl. 272 00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:44,676 -Yes! 273 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:48,814 -Feel free to enjoy the amenities, girls. [ shouting, cheering ] 274 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:51,016 Whirlpool, free pedicures... 275 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,684 -Here it goes! -...Chicken pox vaccines. 276 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,619 Come on! -Oh! [ laughs ] 277 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:56,087 -Whoo! -What fun! 278 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,157 -Is there somewhere I can sit quietly 279 00:10:58,159 --> 00:10:59,958 Until they tire themselves out? 280 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,760 -I want to show you the amenities 281 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,495 I think you'll appreciate. 282 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,096 This way. 283 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:06,765 [ playing soft, mellow tune ] 284 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,767 I could tell from the first moment I saw you 285 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,435 That you're special. 286 00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,104 I think you'll feel right at home here. 287 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,906 Here's where we all sit down together 288 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,744 For a home-cooked dinner each night -- family style. 289 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,647 -What is..."family style"? 290 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,784 -My uterus is curious. 291 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,519 My choice... [ chuckles ] 292 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:28,787 ...Rolls royce. 293 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,090 Old man's baby? Yes, they'll pay me. 294 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:35,326 -First time here? Are you pre or post? 295 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:37,328 -Oh, um, I -- I'm just getting the tour. 296 00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,664 -I'm gonna use the money to pay for stanford. 297 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,932 Then, I'll launch my app. 298 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:43,268 It's like tinder but for plane tickets. 299 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,136 -Ooh. -Let's go to my office 300 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:48,139 And talk about your growth potential. 301 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,009 ♪♪ 302 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,411 -Mm. -There! 303 00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:55,881 -You complete us, pete. Shall we toast? 304 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,049 [ man wailing ] 305 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,685 -Oh! I should take this. 306 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,754 I'll be right back. 307 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,223 -Petey, where are you? 308 00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:05,557 We work now. 309 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,092 -I'm with the cuddlefishes. 310 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,694 They've asked me to share their lives with them, 311 00:12:09,696 --> 00:12:12,564 And I think I'm...Happy? 312 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,900 -Yeah, remember last time you happy. 313 00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:16,301 You saw a sunset, 314 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,103 And we nearly went out of business! 315 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,105 -Oh, yeah -- the time I realized 316 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:23,374 That the world was so big and so beautiful. 317 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,043 I wish people didn't get so weirded out 318 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,845 When you grin while burying their family. 319 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:30,048 -Ah-hah. Petey, remember mother? 320 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,650 What does she know? 321 00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:33,184 -She know best. 322 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,120 -And what does mother want? 323 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,722 -For pete to stop being happy 324 00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:38,724 And start being a sad undertaker? 325 00:12:38,726 --> 00:12:40,191 -Good boy. 326 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,528 -[ sighs ] god, she's brilliant! 327 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,931 ♪♪ 328 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:48,199 -What it do? The duplass brothers, 329 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,401 Morgan freeman, scrooge mcduck, 330 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,671 That guy who drops the chili on nbc's "the office" -- 331 00:12:52,673 --> 00:12:54,740 What do they all have in common? 332 00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:56,207 They all want to have kids, 333 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,209 But their sperms are too damn old! 334 00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:01,212 Holla! It would be illegal and disgusting for them 335 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,614 To actually have sex with you, 336 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,617 But your teenaged eggs are the best money can buy! 337 00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:08,287 F-f-f-feoow! So, what's up? Here's the tea! 338 00:13:08,289 --> 00:13:10,622 At birth, you simply twerk away your parental rights. 339 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:12,491 You'll get the future you deserve had your parents 340 00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:14,893 Loved you more or been rich enough to buy your succe-- 341 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,562 -You get the drift. May I speak candidly? 342 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,365 You remind me of myself when I was your age. 343 00:13:20,367 --> 00:13:23,434 -Your mom abandoned you, killed herself, got reanimated, 344 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,304 And rather than use her second chance at life 345 00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:27,773 To be the kind of mother you deserve, she used it 346 00:13:27,775 --> 00:13:29,975 To refine her skin regimen? 347 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,710 -[ chuckles ] no. 348 00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:34,245 But mom did come late to one of my swim meets. 349 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:39,718 Now I think of every girl here as one of my very own daughters. 350 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,254 Care for some hot cocoa? 351 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:44,856 -So, you live in luxury, 352 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,257 Get a wad of cash after the birth, 353 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,860 And don't have to raise the -- ugh -- baby? 354 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:50,595 Sign me up! -Yeah, me too! 355 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:52,597 -Ladies. 356 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:55,934 -Girls, you're forgetting everything I've taught you. 357 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,203 Pregnancy means the party's over! 358 00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,472 -It's 40,000 flori-dollars a pop, grandma. 359 00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,407 -They're low-balling you. [ device warbles ] 360 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,942 -I'm sorry. None of you qualify. 361 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,211 I'll need to ask you to leave. -Huh? Why? 362 00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,747 -Well, eternitee, you're already pregnant. 363 00:14:08,749 --> 00:14:10,015 -Can't I get double-pregnant? 364 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:12,083 -No. -I'll show you! 365 00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,618 -Infinitee, your drug screening 366 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,154 Shows you've been doing ear whippets 367 00:14:15,156 --> 00:14:18,423 As recently as, eh, today. 368 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:20,491 -I have anxiety! 369 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,761 -And monotonie -- sadly, you're disqualified 370 00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:25,296 Because senator casey anthony intervened. 371 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,432 -God! My mom never stops ruining my life. 372 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,434 I hate her! -God, I know what you mean. 373 00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,370 Hey, where's annie? [ gasps ] 374 00:14:31,372 --> 00:14:33,304 ♪♪ 375 00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:36,975 How did my story about having her not scare her straight? 376 00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:38,844 Plus, she'll never give up the baby! 377 00:14:38,846 --> 00:14:40,712 She can't even throw away chicken bones. 378 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:43,849 She and my brother make these googley-eyed sculptures. 379 00:14:43,851 --> 00:14:45,517 They're -- they're really chilling. 380 00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:46,585 -So, we ditch her. 381 00:14:46,587 --> 00:14:49,254 Let's go on a killmore girls crime spree! 382 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,190 -We should rob a chick-fil-a. 383 00:14:51,192 --> 00:14:54,726 They're, like, problematic. -You don't understand. 384 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,595 We have to go help annie! 385 00:14:56,597 --> 00:14:59,598 You want me to rescue her all by myself?! 386 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,332 What am I, he-- her mother?! 387 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,268 -There's, like, a resemblance. 388 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:04,536 -Rrrrgh. -Bye-bye. 389 00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:09,074 -Even when I am wearing this tiny hat?! 390 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:13,144 Rrrgh! -Oh, no. Telekinesis? 391 00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,347 You're not scary. -Oh, wow. That's impressive. 392 00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,683 Like, dead, undead. 393 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:19,818 Make up your mind already. 394 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,421 -Okay. You wanna be scared? 395 00:15:22,423 --> 00:15:25,957 I'll show you your own pathetic deaths 396 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,492 If you don't change your ways. 397 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,361 Monotonie, if you don't turn your life around, 398 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,363 You're gonna die hitchhiking 399 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,965 When a trucker accidentally runs you over 400 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:37,302 As he's pulling off the road with plans to murder you. 401 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,104 -Hmm. Complicated much? 402 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,972 -Oh, I'm sorry. Hard to follow? 403 00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:43,575 Infinitee, you're gonna drown 404 00:15:43,577 --> 00:15:46,245 During this weekend's wet t-shirt contest! 405 00:15:46,247 --> 00:15:48,113 -What place am I in when I drown? 406 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,449 -7th. -Out of how many? 407 00:15:50,451 --> 00:15:54,185 -Seven! And eternitee, for you, it's death 408 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,722 By wasabi brazil nut! 409 00:15:56,724 --> 00:15:58,257 [ gasps ] 410 00:15:58,259 --> 00:16:00,391 [ panting ] -that's it. 411 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:01,660 You're out of the gang. 412 00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:04,796 -I've never even been to wasabi, brazil. 413 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,731 This is so boring. -Fine! 414 00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:10,469 I'll rescue annie from a life-destroying decision without you! 415 00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:13,672 Oh, but a quick spray-tan first wouldn't hurt. 416 00:16:13,674 --> 00:16:16,207 ♪♪ 417 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,743 -Everything okay? 418 00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:19,410 -Hey, where are my clothes? 419 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,347 -[ laughs ] oh, that soviet-era janitor jumpsuit 420 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:25,350 With a decaying sandwich inside? 421 00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,152 [ laughs ] I tossed it. 422 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,620 -Augh! Oh! 423 00:16:28,622 --> 00:16:30,756 -We'll get you a whole new wardrobe. 424 00:16:30,758 --> 00:16:32,357 We loved spoiling loki. 425 00:16:32,359 --> 00:16:34,693 But, since he tragically died in a vr grease fire, 426 00:16:34,695 --> 00:16:36,295 We're here to spoil you. 427 00:16:36,297 --> 00:16:37,762 -Decaying things aren't just 428 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,764 My life's purpose -- they're my passion! 429 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,768 Baba's right -- you and I have different priorities. 430 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,836 -But -- but our -- 431 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:47,106 Our only priority is your happiness, pete! 432 00:16:47,108 --> 00:16:49,440 -I'm afraid that's not going to work for me. 433 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,976 Goodbye, cuddlefishes. 434 00:16:50,978 --> 00:16:52,644 This was cute. 435 00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:54,846 ♪♪ 436 00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,648 -So, um, how does this work? 437 00:16:56,650 --> 00:16:58,517 Are there stirrups, or -- 438 00:16:58,519 --> 00:17:00,319 -You just swallow this pill. 439 00:17:00,321 --> 00:17:02,121 You're instantly impregnated 440 00:17:02,123 --> 00:17:04,589 With the sperm of anonymous donor 441 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,725 Sir rod stewart. 442 00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:09,728 You'll make a great vessel, annie. 443 00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:12,798 -Wow. I've never felt this cared for. 444 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,334 -Take the pill, and you can feel that way 445 00:17:15,336 --> 00:17:17,402 For nine more months. 446 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,270 -Annie, don't do it! 447 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,673 Teen pregnancy isn't all baby footprint tattoos, 448 00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,675 Reality shows, and murder trials. 449 00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:26,277 It has a human cost. -Leave me alone! 450 00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,413 Mrs. Clomid knows what's best for me. 451 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:31,216 She made me hot cocoa -- with sprinkles! 452 00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:32,551 -Damn, she's good. 453 00:17:32,553 --> 00:17:34,285 I should have been the beverage equivalent 454 00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,821 Of the world's best hot cocoa. 455 00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:38,690 But life filled your "mom" mug with an undead can 456 00:17:38,692 --> 00:17:39,891 Of flat malt liquor. 457 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,093 I want to do better. 458 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,230 ♪♪ 459 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:47,499 -Annie's in our care now. 460 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:51,570 Inseminees aren't allowed to leave the premises. 461 00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:55,640 Trophy, please say your goodbyes. 462 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,509 -I'm not leaving you to be raised 463 00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:59,978 By a well-meaning old woman again! 464 00:17:59,980 --> 00:18:01,713 -Why? You seem to prefer 465 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:04,716 Vapid-hot dog-criminal time to mother-daughter time. 466 00:18:04,718 --> 00:18:06,852 -You're right. I don't deserve a smart, 467 00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:08,520 Responsible daughter like you. 468 00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,523 But this is my second chance -- and yours, too. 469 00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:13,792 You should have some carefree fun for a change, 470 00:18:13,794 --> 00:18:17,128 And I should embrace tedium and misery like a real adult. 471 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:20,665 Don't get pregnant till you're actually ready to be a parent, 472 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,668 Because you'll be a great one. 473 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:24,669 Death powers. 474 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,337 -I think I've made a big mistake. 475 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,273 -[ laughs ] "big mistake" is my middle name. 476 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,875 Legally. Thanks, baba. 477 00:18:29,877 --> 00:18:31,210 -I wanna get out of here. 478 00:18:31,212 --> 00:18:32,677 -You got it. 479 00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:36,347 Let's run away together this time. 480 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,017 -Oh, you smell like gasoline and popcorn. 481 00:18:39,019 --> 00:18:40,819 -It's the spray tan. 482 00:18:40,821 --> 00:18:44,823 ♪♪ 483 00:18:44,825 --> 00:18:46,491 Hey, fertile freaks! 484 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,693 Help us sneak out of here, I'll show you my knockers! 485 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,695 -I've got this. Girls, I'm desperate. 486 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:53,032 I have an interview with harvard in half an hour, 487 00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:54,499 And they won't let me leave. 488 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,301 If I miss it, I'll have to go to vassar. 489 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,237 -Oh, my god, say no more. 490 00:18:58,239 --> 00:19:02,107 Sarah, operation safety school! 491 00:19:02,109 --> 00:19:04,776 ♪♪ 492 00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:06,978 -I just finished my lil' po self-assessment, 493 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,914 And I think I have to turn us both in. 494 00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:11,783 -You are a little snitch. -The rules were clear. 495 00:19:11,785 --> 00:19:14,385 You had to help the runaways, and I had to supervise. 496 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,587 [ sirens wailing ] we both failed. 497 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,389 Together. [ crash! ] 498 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,658 -What are you doing here? 499 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,593 -Right after we left the preggo dork mansion, 500 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:25,464 Eternitee was killed by a wasabi brazil nut, 501 00:19:25,466 --> 00:19:27,198 Just like you predicted. 502 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,401 -Oh, my gosh. She was allergic? 503 00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:31,002 -No, I threw it off the overpass 504 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,137 And hit her in the skull. 505 00:19:32,139 --> 00:19:33,472 It was hilarious. -[ laughs ] 506 00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:35,340 -But it made us realize you were right, trophy. 507 00:19:35,342 --> 00:19:37,142 -We went to the judge to confess our crimes 508 00:19:37,144 --> 00:19:40,479 And he said, "due to budget cuts, wanna be sexy cops?" 509 00:19:40,481 --> 00:19:43,548 Now we're sxpd. Duh. 510 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,751 -That means I did scare you straight. 511 00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:50,021 Well, except for eternitee. -Yep, you're officially free. 512 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,356 -Then, why are you here? 513 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,758 -We have an arrest warrant for you, annie. 514 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,894 Says you're harboring a stolen fetus. 515 00:19:55,896 --> 00:19:57,762 -You leave annie alone, 516 00:19:57,764 --> 00:19:59,898 Or I'll send out the beetles to cover your feet 517 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:02,167 So it looks like you're wearing sensible shoes. 518 00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:03,768 -A slip-on clog mule?! 519 00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:06,705 Guh, we'll be kicked off the sxpd force! 520 00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:08,573 -I guess we could tell them annie died. 521 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,709 -From a wasabi brazil nut! 522 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,844 Those deaths tend to happen in pairs. 523 00:20:12,846 --> 00:20:14,179 Bye-bye. 524 00:20:14,181 --> 00:20:15,514 -Get shower, pete. 525 00:20:15,516 --> 00:20:17,316 Now you need to marry trophy. 526 00:20:17,318 --> 00:20:19,384 -I'm still married to the cuddlefishes. 527 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,520 For at least a few more hours. 528 00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:24,656 -Married? You sell a super deluxe? 529 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:27,258 -Let's just put that funeral behind us, shall we? 530 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:28,593 Anyone feeling hungry? 531 00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:31,596 We could cook a family-style. -Maybe tomorrow. 532 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,598 Tonight, we deserve a special treat! 533 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,134 -I already had my special treat. 534 00:20:35,136 --> 00:20:40,005 It was learning I don't deserve happiness. 535 00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:41,540 -Ummm, baba. 536 00:20:41,542 --> 00:20:43,074 I have to tell you something. 537 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,077 Long story, but I'm pregnant. -[ slurping ] 538 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:50,549 -Don't worry, I "bought" you a morning-after hot dog. 539 00:20:50,551 --> 00:20:52,951 -You did? -I think I'm really getting the hang 540 00:20:52,953 --> 00:20:55,754 Of this mother/daughter thing. 541 00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:57,889 -Sorry, little sir roderick stewart. 542 00:20:57,891 --> 00:21:01,292 -And if no work, I have secret family recipe. 543 00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:03,262 Only fail me one time. 544 00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:08,534 Biggest mistake of my life. 545 00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:12,637 -♪ this is the morning after ♪ 546 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:16,375 ♪ the house is such a disaster ♪ 547 00:21:16,377 --> 00:21:18,643 ♪ but there's someone ♪ 548 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,712 ♪ outside ♪ 549 00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:23,448 ♪ that caught my eye ♪ 550 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,450 ♪ it's the dead girl in the pool ♪ 551 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,386 ♪ it's the dead girl in the pool ♪ 552 00:21:27,388 --> 00:21:29,320 ♪ it's the dead girl in the pool ♪ 553 00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:31,290 ♪ I don't know what do ♪