1
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,996
Was that any good?
2
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695
- I've been streaming
some examples
3
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,089
of how moms connect
with their daughters.
4
00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,308
Seems like we're
supposed to binge-eat
5
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,918
while talking
about disappointment.
6
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:49,962
Mm? You go fir--
7
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,181
Hey! Trophy!
8
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,575
Get to work,
you spoiled potato couch!
9
00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,143
We funeral home,
not cruise ship deck!
10
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,667
- I am at work -- being
a stay-at-home mom to Annie.
11
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,017
- Hey! Motherhood curse, not job.
12
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,586
- We are working on our
mother-daughter bond, Baba.
13
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,718
We can't just expect her
to suddenly know
14
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,852
how to make hot cocoa
or listen when I talk.
15
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,723
- It'll free up a lot
of my emotional bandwidth
16
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,117
when my spray-tan membership
expires next month.
17
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:17,381
- Look! I give ultimatum
my baba gave me --
18
00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,253
work for family funeral home,
19
00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:22,299
get job in village,
or marry brother.
20
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,084
- You picked
funeral home, right?
21
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,216
- I don't remember.
My baba chose for me.
22
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,523
- Hey, sis! You know
I'm game for whatevs,
23
00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,786
but I picked
"work for family funeral home."
24
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,657
I was born with
resting-grief-face,
25
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,832
I get to work with my mom,
26
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,617
and touching corpses
doesn't bother me.
27
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,575
In fact, I prefer it!
28
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,360
- I'll get a job.
29
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,060
- You're not remotely qualified
for these positions.
30
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,541
Architect?
Gastrointestinal surgeon?
31
00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:47,846
Female Ghostbuster?
32
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,761
You're a high school-dropout.
33
00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,328
- With escort experience.
34
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,983
- Under "employment history"
you've just listed movies
35
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,724
you've seen in the theater.
36
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,421
You saw "Homeward Bound" twice?
37
00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,945
- The dogs and cats talk in it.
38
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,687
- The app requires
a Florida thumbprint?
39
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,211
- Ugh.
40
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,255
There we are.
41
00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,829
Oh, no!
42
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,178
Instead of arresting me,
43
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,311
what do you say
I flash you for it, mm?
44
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,051
- You have the right
to remain clothed.
45
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,184
Any breasts you expose can
and will be held against you
46
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,491
in a court of law.
- Ugh.
47
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,885
- Your Honor,
my client is now aware
48
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,540
that mermaids
aren't real -- ever.
49
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,802
In addition, he's prepared
50
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,456
to completely abstain
from energy drinks.
51
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,893
- A misunderstanding
is what it was.
52
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,895
- I'll dismiss the charges,
but you're not allowed
53
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810
within 1,000 feet of a manatee.
54
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,552
Unless, of course,
it's over the age of consent.
55
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,815
- Potential Felon 223.
56
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:46,731
- Where's my lawyer?
- Did you download the app?
57
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,211
- No?
- Oh, you should have.
58
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,214
Trophy Fantasy, you have
numerous outstanding warrants.
59
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:54,739
Petty theft, arson, lewd
behavior in a buffet restaurant.
60
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,088
What say you in your defense?
61
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,917
- I would like to present
into evidence --
62
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,398
- You are hereby sentenced
to community service
63
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,921
mentoring teen runaways.
64
00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,880
If you can scare them straight,
I'll waive your charges.
65
00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,447
If not, it's hard labor
66
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,536
spell checking Dear Leader's
social media. Next!
67
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,668
- But, your Hono-gram,
I'm no good with children.
68
00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,062
Plus I-I already am
a stay-at-home mom.
69
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,543
My -- My daughter Annie
is the teen who needs me.
70
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,632
- Does your daughter have
any exceptional needs?
71
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,765
- She's exceptionally needy!
Or neglected?
72
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,550
Uh, I forget which is which
is which is which.
73
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,595
- Step forward.
Due to budget cuts,
74
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,162
we've replaced parole officers
75
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,946
with uptight,
underage tattletales.
76
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,601
It's a pilot program
we're calling "Lil' PO."
77
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,038
You a snitch?
- My gym teacher
who steals cigarettes
78
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,476
from the sophomore she's having
sex with says I am.
79
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,434
- Sold. You are hereby deputized
80
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,654
by the franchise-territory
of Florida.
81
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,265
I'm releasing your mother
into your recognizance.
82
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,962
- Oh.
83
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,970
- Mr. and Mrs. Cuddlefish,
feel free to take
84
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,235
as long as you need
with your final good-byes.
85
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,585
I see here you've ordered
Loki's cremains
86
00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,456
put inside the screen
of an iPad?
87
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:03,330
- So we can keep playing
"Worried Geese" together.
88
00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,462
I won't let the quacks stop!
89
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,421
- I don't know
how we'll get through
90
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,336
this first night without him.
91
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,512
It was always the three of us!
92
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:16,560
- Pete, have Lester and I
told you how much
93
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,432
you remind us of Loki?
94
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,956
- You're practically his twin!
95
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,525
- If there is anything I can do,
96
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,875
you know our motto here
at Tender Endings.
97
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,011
- Hmm. Could you possibly come
to our house tonight?
98
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,491
- Of course.
99
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,319
I believe your
Super Deluxe Package
100
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:40,410
actually includes one in-home
grief counseling session.
101
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,588
- The file said the runaways
are a three-person gang
102
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,416
called the Killmore Girls.
103
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,635
Good luck scaring them.
104
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,594
They have a lot
of unresolved feelings.
105
00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,205
- You know, I also saw on TV
that moms should
106
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,382
encourage their daughters
to confront their fears.
107
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,557
It builds resilience.
108
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,733
I'm gonna let you
handle the mentoring.
109
00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,690
- What?!
110
00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,344
- Ugh, this is so boring.
- Oh.
111
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,565
- Um, hello, goth peers.
112
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,785
I'm Annie, a registered Lil' PO.
113
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:11,354
How about we go around and state
your name and why you're here?
114
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,530
- I'm Infinitee, and I've killed.
115
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,837
- I'm Eternitee, and I've killed.
116
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,361
- I'm Monotonie, and I buried
the dead bodies.
117
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,363
I'm a helper.
Is that a dead body?
118
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,322
- She's undead, not dead.
119
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,062
- Is this grammar?
I hate grammar.
120
00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:26,369
- We're actually gonna
begin the day with goals.
121
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,110
What's a dream job
for each of you?
122
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:32,332
I'll start -- I want to raise
peacocks as pets, not meat.
123
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,203
- Hey, guys,
let's get out of here.
124
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337
This place has, like,
real second-chance energy.
125
00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,861
- Let's go stare at that lake
that's on fire.
126
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,038
- Come back! Next, we get
to use pipe cleaners
127
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,693
to express our insecurities!
128
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,042
- I got this, hon.
129
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,697
Yeah, that Annie girl
is super lame.
130
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,222
Follow me. I know where we can
get some, like, food for free.
131
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,312
- I'll bring the pipe cleaners
just in case there's a wait
132
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,922
for a table of five.
133
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:04,407
- It's going to take a long time
to process the loss of Loki,
134
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,235
but that's why I'm here.
135
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,410
- We were hoping
you would feel that way.
136
00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,543
- I find it best to not let go.
137
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,458
Just keep holdin' on forever.
138
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,286
Sorrow can last a lifetime,
if you do it right.
139
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:18,116
- If you like those pictures,
you'll love the ones upstairs.
140
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,643
- Wow!
141
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,209
- Once your organs disintegrate,
142
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:27,082
there's a lot more room
for hot dogs in there.
143
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,953
- It's kind of hot,
in a gross way.
144
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,652
- You really did used to be
like us -- but better.
145
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,437
- You make me nostalgic
for my wild teen years.
146
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,005
Maybe my resurrection
is also a second chance
147
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,528
to have adolescent fun?
148
00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,183
Because first time,
I squandered my life.
149
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:45,187
Got caught up
in nihilism and despair.
150
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,231
- Nice mentoring.
151
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,929
Connecting with
their despondence
152
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,539
by talking about your suicide.
153
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:53,369
Really brave.
- No, I mean my teen pregnancy.
154
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,806
Girls, no matter
how bad you screw up,
155
00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,331
there's no mistake you can't
"talk" your way out of --
156
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,769
unless you keep the baby.
157
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:05,076
- I'd only want one
if it could be like that
doll from "Child's Play."
158
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,688
- Trophy? Quick word in private?
159
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,080
- No secrets, Annie.
160
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,473
Don't be rude to the gang.
161
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,606
- How am I the worst mistake
of your life?
162
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,869
You left town three days
after you gave birth!
163
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,088
And you once joined
a CrossFit gym
164
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,481
that harvested your kidney!
165
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,265
- Why you gotta be such
a buzzkill to your sister?
166
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,746
- She's my mother!
- If she never mothered you,
167
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,400
seems more like
she's your sister to me.
168
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,533
- Sorry, I need to
close out your tab.
169
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,230
You've ordered the maximum
number of hot dogs
170
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,493
we're legally allowed
to serve to a group of women.
171
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,322
You're welcome back later
with a male chaperone.
172
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,977
- We're not paying.
Watch this.
173
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,284
Death powers.
174
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,682
- Did those beetles
come out of her --
175
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,945
- It's better not to
think about it.
- But I want to.
176
00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,513
I may have just figured out
my dream job.
177
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:51,645
- Hey!
178
00:07:56,867 --> 00:08:00,915
- That's my favorite portrait
of the three of us.
179
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,786
- You slept together?
180
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,353
- Absolutely.
181
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,790
- We know it's not
traditional, but --
182
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,139
- Say no more.
183
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:11,534
Parenting, like grief,
takes many forms.
184
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,970
- Loki wasn't our son.
185
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,015
He was our lover.
186
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,147
The three of us were a triad.
187
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,714
Have you ever heard
of polyamory?
188
00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,847
- Oh, it's time
to renew our vows.
189
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,545
- Once the divorce rate
topped 90%, Florida decided
190
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,548
to make marriages auto-expire
every 24 hours.
191
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,810
- You just use the app.
192
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,769
- We were married
for almost a decade.
193
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,640
But now, without
a third person...
194
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,860
it's like the vows
have lost all meaning.
195
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,776
- Like the Pledge of Allegiance,
or an MFA.
196
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,604
- Please
complete vows in 30 seconds
197
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,083
to remain lawfully wed.
198
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,608
30, 29...
- Won't you join us, Pete?
199
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:45,568
- Till death or 24 hours
from now do us part.
200
00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:49,616
- I think it would really
help us with our mourning.
201
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,706
- One really shouldn't
make hasty decisions
202
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,229
after the death of a loved one,
203
00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,623
but rebound weddings
are included
204
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,538
in the Super Deluxe Package.
205
00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,800
My idea.
206
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,802
- Throw! Throw! Throw!
207
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,586
- Oh!
- Here it goes!
208
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,414
Huegh!
209
00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,850
- Take that society!
210
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,505
- Okay, G-8-T-R-6-9-R.
- Whee!
211
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,812
- Why are you writing down
license plate numbers?
- Hah! Take that!
212
00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,683
- So we can send apology notes.
- Yeah!
213
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,251
- Or hand-deliver.
I don't think we can
afford this many stamps.
214
00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,601
- Ear popper?
Helps with anxiety.
215
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,211
- You suffer from anxiety?
216
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,301
- Yeah, fear of getting last
place in wet T-shirt contests.
217
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,695
You know, it happens
to good people every day.
218
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,610
- Wet T-shirt contest!
219
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,875
- Trophy, as your Lil' PO,
I demand you --
220
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,704
- Somebody's gotta be last place!
- Auuugh!
221
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,619
- Ugh! Seriously?!
222
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,621
If I weren't wearing
a rubber undershirt,
223
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,144
I'd be soaked to the bone.
224
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,233
If you'd rather pretend
to be a teenager
225
00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:45,454
with these screw-ups than spend
time with me, fine!
226
00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,631
Enjoy being a slave
in a social media sweatshop.
227
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,938
- Trophy! Let's put some T-shirts
on some roadkill
228
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,635
and get them wet!
229
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,642
- Who even does
wet T-shirt contests anymore?
230
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,079
That's, like, so male-gaze.
231
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:06,301
Exposing your breasts is not
a successful life strategy.
232
00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,520
You're okay, Annie.
233
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,001
Fear of abandonment
is character building.
234
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,483
Unlike my fear of zippers,
which I just need to work on.
235
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,487
- Get in quick before
the police find us.
236
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,235
- Girls, I'm Mrs. Clomid.
237
00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,498
I run a place that helps
young women like you --
238
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,805
in need of support or escape.
239
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,937
Good thing I keep
my police scanner on
240
00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,679
as I drive around town
picking up teen girls
241
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,376
thrown away by their families.
242
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,813
- Oh, I'm not a runaway.
243
00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:42,729
I'm related to Trophy --
through birth.
244
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,209
She's easily distracted, but...
- Again. Again.
245
00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,907
- ...deep down, she loves me.
246
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,038
Pretty sure.
247
00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:51,520
- Now you're officially
a Killmore Girl.
248
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,347
- Yes!
249
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,525
- Feel free to enjoy
the amenities, girls.
250
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,614
Whirlpool, free pedicures...
251
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,529
- Here it goes!
- ...chicken pox vaccines.
252
00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,487
Come on!
- Oh!
253
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,663
- Whoo!
- What fun!
254
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,795
- Is there somewhere I
can sit quietly
255
00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,710
until they tire themselves out?
256
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,277
- I want to show you
the amenities
257
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,235
I think you'll appreciate.
258
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,628
This way.
259
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,414
I could tell from
the first moment I saw you
260
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,068
that you're special.
261
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,723
I think you'll feel
right at home here.
262
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,464
Here's where we all
sit down together
263
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:26,381
for a home-cooked dinner
each night -- family style.
264
00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,428
- What is..."family style"?
265
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,214
- My uterus is curious.
266
00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,042
My choice...
267
00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,217
...Rolls Royce.
268
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,699
Old man's baby?
Yes, they'll pay me.
269
00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,919
- First time here?
Are you pre or post?
270
00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,878
- Oh, um, I --
I'm just getting the tour.
271
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,228
- I'm gonna use the money
to pay for Stanford.
272
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,403
Then, I'll launch my app.
273
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,840
It's like Tinder
but for plane tickets.
274
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,537
- Ooh.
- Let's go to my office
275
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,671
and talk about
your growth potential.
276
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,023
- Mm.
- There!
277
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:03,200
- You complete us, Pete.
Shall we toast?
278
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,292
- Oh! I should take this.
279
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207
I'll be right back.
280
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,774
- Petey, where are you?
281
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,080
We work now.
282
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,429
- I'm with the Cuddlefishes.
283
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,301
They've asked me to share
their lives with them,
284
00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,956
and I think I'm...happy?
285
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,263
- Yeah, remember
last time you happy.
286
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,786
You saw a sunset,
287
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,396
and we nearly
went out of business!
288
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,529
- Oh, yeah --
the time I realized
289
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,706
that the world was so big
and so beautiful.
290
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,316
I wish people didn't get
so weirded out
291
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,188
when you grin
while burying their family.
292
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:37,321
- Ah-hah. Petey, remember mother?
293
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,062
What does she know?
294
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,411
- She know best.
295
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,370
- And what does mother want?
296
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,198
- For Pete to stop being happy
297
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,200
and start being
a sad undertaker?
298
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,505
- Good boy.
299
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,813
- God, she's brilliant!
300
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,470
- What it do?
The Duplass Brothers,
301
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,602
Morgan Freeman, Scrooge McDuck,
302
00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:00,127
That Guy Who Drops the Chili
on NBC's "The Office" --
303
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,172
what do they all have in common?
304
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,347
They all want to have kids,
305
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,349
but their sperms
are too damn old!
306
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,309
Holla! It would be illegal
and disgusting for them
307
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,919
to actually have sex with you,
308
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,835
but your teenaged eggs
are the best money can buy!
309
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,620
F-F-F-Feoow! So, what's up?
Here's the tea!
310
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,927
At birth, you simply twerk away
your parental rights.
311
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,842
You'll get the future
you deserve had your parents
312
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,062
loved you more or been
rich enough to buy your succe--
313
00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,760
- You get the drift.
May I speak candidly?
314
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,632
You remind me of myself
when I was your age.
315
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,505
- Your mom abandoned you,
killed herself, got reanimated,
316
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,420
and rather than use
her second chance at life
317
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:35,075
to be the kind of mother
you deserve, she used it
318
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,946
to refine her skin regimen?
319
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,905
- No.
320
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,385
But Mom did come late
to one of my swim meets.
321
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:46,869
Now I think of every girl here
as one of my very own daughters.
322
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,480
Care for some hot cocoa?
323
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,092
- So, you live in luxury,
324
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,397
get a wad of cash
after the birth,
325
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,052
and don't have to raise
the -- ugh -- baby?
326
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,793
Sign me up!
- Yeah, me too!
327
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,664
- Ladies.
328
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,885
- Girls, you're forgetting
everything I've taught you.
329
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,148
Pregnancy means
the party's over!
330
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,542
- It's 40,000 Flori-dollars
a pop, Grandma.
331
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,370
- They're low-balling you.
332
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,937
- I'm sorry.
None of you qualify.
333
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,113
I'll need to ask you to leave.
- Huh? Why?
334
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,855
- Well, Eternitee,
you're already pregnant.
335
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:16,986
- Can't I get double-pregnant?
336
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,901
- No.
- I'll show you!
337
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,598
- Infinitee, your drug screening
338
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,165
shows you've been
doing ear whippets
339
00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:25,342
as recently as, eh, today.
340
00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,388
- I have anxiety!
341
00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,781
- And Monotonie -- sadly,
you're disqualified
342
00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,088
because Senator Casey Anthony
intervened.
343
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,308
- God! My mom never stops
ruining my life.
344
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,310
I hate her!
- God, I know what you mean.
345
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,399
Hey, where's Annie?
346
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,752
How did my story about having
her not scare her straight?
347
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,928
Plus, she'll never
give up the baby!
348
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,712
She can't even throw away
chicken bones.
349
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,802
She and my brother make
these googley-eyed sculptures.
350
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,413
They're -- They're
really chilling.
351
00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,631
- So, we ditch her.
352
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,982
Let's go on a Killmore Girls
crime spree!
353
00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,071
- We should rob a Chick-fil-A.
354
00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,683
They're, like, problematic.
- You don't understand.
355
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,598
We have to go help Annie!
356
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,557
You want me to rescue her
all by myself?!
357
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994
What am I, he-- her mother?!
358
00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,952
- There's, like, a resemblance.
359
00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,388
- Rrrrgh.
- Bye-bye.
360
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:15,827
- Even when I am wearing
this tiny hat?!
361
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:19,744
Rrrgh!
- Oh, no. Telekinesis?
362
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,965
You're not scary.
- Oh, wow. That's impressive.
363
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,446
Like, dead, undead.
364
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:26,795
Make up your mind already.
365
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,232
- Okay. You wanna be scared?
366
00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,714
I'll show you your own
pathetic deaths
367
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,150
if you don't change your ways.
368
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,979
Monotonie, if you don't
turn your life around,
369
00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,981
you're gonna die hitchhiking
370
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,678
when a trucker accidentally
runs you over
371
00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,986
as he's pulling off the road
with plans to murder you.
372
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,640
- Hmm. Complicated much?
373
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,685
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Hard to follow?
374
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,166
Infinitee, you're gonna drown
375
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,952
during this weekend's
wet T-shirt contest!
376
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,605
- What place am I in
when I drown?
377
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:57,043
- 7th.
- Out of how many?
378
00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,785
- Seven! And Eternitee,
for you, it's death
379
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,440
by wasabi Brazil nut!
380
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,009
- That's it.
381
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,402
You're out of the gang.
382
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492
- I've never even been
to Wasabi, Brazil.
383
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,320
This is so boring.
- Fine!
384
00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:17,106
I'll rescue Annie
from a life-destroying
decision without you!
385
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:20,240
Oh, but a quick spray-tan
first wouldn't hurt.
386
00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,418
- Everything okay?
387
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,854
- Hey, where are my clothes?
388
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,770
- Oh, that
Soviet-era janitor jumpsuit
389
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,773
with a decaying sandwich inside?
390
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,514
I tossed it.
391
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,037
- Augh! Oh!
392
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,387
- We'll get you
a whole new wardrobe.
393
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,823
We loved spoiling Loki.
394
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,304
But, since he tragically died
in a VR grease fire,
395
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,827
we're here to spoil you.
396
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,220
- Decaying things aren't just
397
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,222
my life's purpose --
they're my passion!
398
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:50,183
Baba's right -- you and I
have different priorities.
399
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,358
- But -- But our --
400
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,534
our only priority
is your happiness, Pete!
401
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,753
- I'm afraid that's not
going to work for me.
402
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,451
Goodbye, Cuddlefishes.
403
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,018
This was cute.
404
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065
- So, um, how does this work?
405
00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,893
Are there stirrups, or --
406
00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,634
- You just swallow this pill.
407
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,505
You're instantly impregnated
408
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,073
with the sperm
of anonymous donor
409
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,119
Sir Rod Stewart.
410
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,078
You'll make
a great vessel, Annie.
411
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,255
- Wow. I've never felt
this cared for.
412
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,736
- Take the pill,
and you can feel that way
413
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,651
for nine more months.
414
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,392
- Annie, don't do it!
415
00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:28,047
Teen pregnancy isn't all
baby footprint tattoos,
416
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,918
reality shows,
and murder trials.
417
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,399
It has a human cost.
- Leave me alone!
418
00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,618
Mrs. Clomid knows
what's best for me.
419
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,447
She made me hot cocoa --
with sprinkles!
420
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,927
- Damn, she's good.
421
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,494
I should have been
the beverage equivalent
422
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,104
of the world's best hot cocoa.
423
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,020
but life filled your "Mom" mug
with an undead can
424
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,108
of flat Malt liquor.
425
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,371
I want to do better.
426
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,724
- Annie's in our care now.
427
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:57,772
Inseminees aren't allowed
to leave the premises.
428
00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,906
Trophy, please say
your goodbyes.
429
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,560
- I'm not leaving you
to be raised
430
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,346
by a well-meaning
old woman again!
431
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,825
- Why? You seem to prefer
432
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,959
vapid-hot dog-criminal time
to mother-daughter time.
433
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,135
- You're right.
I don't deserve a smart,
434
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,528
responsible daughter like you.
435
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,661
But this is my second chance --
and yours, too.
436
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:20,099
You should have some
carefree fun for a change,
437
00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,276
and I should embrace tedium
and misery like a real adult.
438
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,714
Don't get pregnant till you're
actually ready to be a parent,
439
00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,847
because you'll be a great one.
440
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:30,892
Death powers.
441
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,241
- I think I've made
a big mistake.
442
00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,200
- "Big Mistake"
is my middle name.
443
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,071
Legally. Thanks, Baba.
444
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,159
- I wanna get out of here.
445
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,682
- You got it.
446
00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,208
Let's run away
together this time.
447
00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:45,167
- Oh, you smell like gasoline
and popcorn.
448
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,038
- It's the spray tan.
449
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,479
Hey, fertile freaks!
450
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,655
Help us sneak out of here,
I'll show you my knockers!
451
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,787
- I've got this.
Girls, I'm desperate.
452
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,225
I have an interview with Harvard
in half an hour,
453
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,443
and they won't let me leave.
454
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,141
If I miss it,
I'll have to go to Vassar.
455
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,099
- Oh, my God, say no more.
456
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:08,147
Sarah, Operation Safety School!
457
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,890
- I just finished
my Lil' PO self-assessment,
458
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,849
and I think I have to
turn us both in.
459
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,634
- You are a little snitch.
- The rules were clear.
460
00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,159
You had to help the runaways,
and I had to supervise.
461
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,377
We both failed.
462
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,336
Together.
463
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,512
- What are you doing here?
464
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,470
- Right after we left
the preggo dork mansion,
465
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:31,387
Eternitee was killed
by a wasabi Brazil nut,
466
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,128
just like you predicted.
467
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217
- Oh, my gosh.
She was allergic?
468
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,827
- No, I threw it off
the overpass
469
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,046
and hit her in the skull.
470
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,439
It was hilarious.
471
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,180
- But it made us realize
you were right, Trophy.
472
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,051
- We went to the judge
to confess our crimes
473
00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:46,315
and he said, "Due to budget
cuts, wanna be sexy cops?"
474
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231
Now we're SXPD. Duh.
475
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,625
- That means I did
scare you straight.
476
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:55,933
Well, except for Eternitee.
- Yep, you're officially free.
477
00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,196
- Then, why are you here?
478
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,459
- We have an arrest warrant
for you, Annie.
479
00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,809
Says you're harboring
a stolen fetus.
480
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,463
- You leave Annie alone,
481
00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,682
or I'll send out the beetles
to cover your feet
482
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,989
so it looks like
you're wearing sensible shoes.
483
00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,469
- A slip-on clog mule?!
484
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:12,385
Guh, we'll be kicked off
the SXPD force!
485
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,213
- I guess we could
tell them Annie died.
486
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,389
- From a wasabi Brazil nut!
487
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,478
Those deaths tend
to happen in pairs.
488
00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,088
Bye-bye.
489
00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,176
- Get shower, Pete.
490
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,873
Now you need to marry Trophy.
491
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,049
- I'm still married
to the Cuddlefishes.
492
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,138
For at least a few more hours.
493
00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:30,316
- Married?
You sell a Super Deluxe?
494
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,101
- Let's just put that funeral
behind us, shall we?
495
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,407
Anyone feeling hungry?
496
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,148
We could cook a family-style.
- Maybe tomorrow.
497
00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:39,150
Tonight, we deserve
a special treat!
498
00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,848
- I already had my special treat.
499
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:45,722
It was learning
I don't deserve happiness.
500
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,202
- Ummm, Baba.
501
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,769
I have to tell you something.
502
00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,641
Long story, but I'm pregnant.
503
00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:56,080
- Don't worry, I "bought" you
a morning-after hot dog.
504
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,648
- You did?
- I think I'm
really getting the hang
505
00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,390
of this mother/daughter thing.
506
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,349
- Sorry, little
Sir Roderick Stewart.
507
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,874
- And if no work,
I have secret family recipe.
508
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,789
Only fail me one time.
509
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:14,142
Biggest mistake of my life.