1 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,996 Was that any good? 2 00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,695 - I've been streaming some examples 3 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,089 of how moms connect with their daughters. 4 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,308 Seems like we're supposed to binge-eat 5 00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:48,918 while talking about disappointment. 6 00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:49,962 Mm? You go fir-- 7 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,181 Hey! Trophy! 8 00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:53,575 Get to work, you spoiled potato couch! 9 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,143 We funeral home, not cruise ship deck! 10 00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,667 - I am at work -- being a stay-at-home mom to Annie. 11 00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:01,017 - Hey! Motherhood curse, not job. 12 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,586 - We are working on our mother-daughter bond, Baba. 13 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,718 We can't just expect her to suddenly know 14 00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:09,852 how to make hot cocoa or listen when I talk. 15 00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,723 - It'll free up a lot of my emotional bandwidth 16 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:14,117 when my spray-tan membership expires next month. 17 00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:17,381 - Look! I give ultimatum my baba gave me -- 18 00:01:17,425 --> 00:01:19,253 work for family funeral home, 19 00:01:19,296 --> 00:01:22,299 get job in village, or marry brother. 20 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,084 - You picked funeral home, right? 21 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,216 - I don't remember. My baba chose for me. 22 00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,523 - Hey, sis! You know I'm game for whatevs, 23 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:30,786 but I picked "work for family funeral home." 24 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,657 I was born with resting-grief-face, 25 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,832 I get to work with my mom, 26 00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,617 and touching corpses doesn't bother me. 27 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,575 In fact, I prefer it! 28 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,360 - I'll get a job. 29 00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,060 - You're not remotely qualified for these positions. 30 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,541 Architect? Gastrointestinal surgeon? 31 00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:47,846 Female Ghostbuster? 32 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,761 You're a high school-dropout. 33 00:01:49,805 --> 00:01:51,328 - With escort experience. 34 00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,983 - Under "employment history" you've just listed movies 35 00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,724 you've seen in the theater. 36 00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:57,421 You saw "Homeward Bound" twice? 37 00:01:57,465 --> 00:01:59,945 - The dogs and cats talk in it. 38 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:02,687 - The app requires a Florida thumbprint? 39 00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,211 - Ugh. 40 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,255 There we are. 41 00:02:11,957 --> 00:02:13,829 Oh, no! 42 00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:15,178 Instead of arresting me, 43 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,311 what do you say I flash you for it, mm? 44 00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:19,051 - You have the right to remain clothed. 45 00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,184 Any breasts you expose can and will be held against you 46 00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,491 in a court of law. - Ugh. 47 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,885 - Your Honor, my client is now aware 48 00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,540 that mermaids aren't real -- ever. 49 00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,802 In addition, he's prepared 50 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,456 to completely abstain from energy drinks. 51 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,893 - A misunderstanding is what it was. 52 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:36,895 - I'll dismiss the charges, but you're not allowed 53 00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:38,810 within 1,000 feet of a manatee. 54 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:41,552 Unless, of course, it's over the age of consent. 55 00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:43,815 - Potential Felon 223. 56 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:46,731 - Where's my lawyer? - Did you download the app? 57 00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,211 - No? - Oh, you should have. 58 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,214 Trophy Fantasy, you have numerous outstanding warrants. 59 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:54,739 Petty theft, arson, lewd behavior in a buffet restaurant. 60 00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,088 What say you in your defense? 61 00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,917 - I would like to present into evidence -- 62 00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,398 - You are hereby sentenced to community service 63 00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:02,921 mentoring teen runaways. 64 00:03:02,965 --> 00:03:04,880 If you can scare them straight, I'll waive your charges. 65 00:03:04,923 --> 00:03:06,447 If not, it's hard labor 66 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,536 spell checking Dear Leader's social media. Next! 67 00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,668 - But, your Hono-gram, I'm no good with children. 68 00:03:10,712 --> 00:03:13,062 Plus I-I already am a stay-at-home mom. 69 00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,543 My -- My daughter Annie is the teen who needs me. 70 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,632 - Does your daughter have any exceptional needs? 71 00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:20,765 - She's exceptionally needy! Or neglected? 72 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,550 Uh, I forget which is which is which is which. 73 00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:24,595 - Step forward. Due to budget cuts, 74 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,162 we've replaced parole officers 75 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,946 with uptight, underage tattletales. 76 00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,601 It's a pilot program we're calling "Lil' PO." 77 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,038 You a snitch? - My gym teacher who steals cigarettes 78 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,476 from the sophomore she's having sex with says I am. 79 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,434 - Sold. You are hereby deputized 80 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,654 by the franchise-territory of Florida. 81 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:42,265 I'm releasing your mother into your recognizance. 82 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,962 - Oh. 83 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,970 - Mr. and Mrs. Cuddlefish, feel free to take 84 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:55,235 as long as you need with your final good-byes. 85 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,585 I see here you've ordered Loki's cremains 86 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,456 put inside the screen of an iPad? 87 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:03,330 - So we can keep playing "Worried Geese" together. 88 00:04:03,373 --> 00:04:05,462 I won't let the quacks stop! 89 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,421 - I don't know how we'll get through 90 00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:09,336 this first night without him. 91 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,512 It was always the three of us! 92 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:16,560 - Pete, have Lester and I told you how much 93 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,432 you remind us of Loki? 94 00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,956 - You're practically his twin! 95 00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,525 - If there is anything I can do, 96 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,875 you know our motto here at Tender Endings. 97 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,011 - Hmm. Could you possibly come to our house tonight? 98 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,491 - Of course. 99 00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,319 I believe your Super Deluxe Package 100 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:40,410 actually includes one in-home grief counseling session. 101 00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:44,588 - The file said the runaways are a three-person gang 102 00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,416 called the Killmore Girls. 103 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:47,635 Good luck scaring them. 104 00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,594 They have a lot of unresolved feelings. 105 00:04:50,638 --> 00:04:53,205 - You know, I also saw on TV that moms should 106 00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:55,382 encourage their daughters to confront their fears. 107 00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,557 It builds resilience. 108 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,733 I'm gonna let you handle the mentoring. 109 00:04:58,776 --> 00:04:59,690 - What?! 110 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,344 - Ugh, this is so boring. - Oh. 111 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,565 - Um, hello, goth peers. 112 00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:07,785 I'm Annie, a registered Lil' PO. 113 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:11,354 How about we go around and state your name and why you're here? 114 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,530 - I'm Infinitee, and I've killed. 115 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,837 - I'm Eternitee, and I've killed. 116 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,361 - I'm Monotonie, and I buried the dead bodies. 117 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,363 I'm a helper. Is that a dead body? 118 00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,322 - She's undead, not dead. 119 00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,062 - Is this grammar? I hate grammar. 120 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:26,369 - We're actually gonna begin the day with goals. 121 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,110 What's a dream job for each of you? 122 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:32,332 I'll start -- I want to raise peacocks as pets, not meat. 123 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,203 - Hey, guys, let's get out of here. 124 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:37,337 This place has, like, real second-chance energy. 125 00:05:37,380 --> 00:05:39,861 - Let's go stare at that lake that's on fire. 126 00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:43,038 - Come back! Next, we get to use pipe cleaners 127 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,693 to express our insecurities! 128 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,042 - I got this, hon. 129 00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:49,697 Yeah, that Annie girl is super lame. 130 00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:53,222 Follow me. I know where we can get some, like, food for free. 131 00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:56,312 - I'll bring the pipe cleaners just in case there's a wait 132 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,922 for a table of five. 133 00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:04,407 - It's going to take a long time to process the loss of Loki, 134 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,235 but that's why I'm here. 135 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,410 - We were hoping you would feel that way. 136 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:09,543 - I find it best to not let go. 137 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,458 Just keep holdin' on forever. 138 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,286 Sorrow can last a lifetime, if you do it right. 139 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:18,116 - If you like those pictures, you'll love the ones upstairs. 140 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,643 - Wow! 141 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,209 - Once your organs disintegrate, 142 00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:27,082 there's a lot more room for hot dogs in there. 143 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,953 - It's kind of hot, in a gross way. 144 00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:31,652 - You really did used to be like us -- but better. 145 00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:34,437 - You make me nostalgic for my wild teen years. 146 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,005 Maybe my resurrection is also a second chance 147 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,528 to have adolescent fun? 148 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,183 Because first time, I squandered my life. 149 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:45,187 Got caught up in nihilism and despair. 150 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,231 - Nice mentoring. 151 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,929 Connecting with their despondence 152 00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,539 by talking about your suicide. 153 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:53,369 Really brave. - No, I mean my teen pregnancy. 154 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,806 Girls, no matter how bad you screw up, 155 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:59,331 there's no mistake you can't "talk" your way out of -- 156 00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,769 unless you keep the baby. 157 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:05,076 - I'd only want one if it could be like that doll from "Child's Play." 158 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,688 - Trophy? Quick word in private? 159 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,080 - No secrets, Annie. 160 00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,473 Don't be rude to the gang. 161 00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,606 - How am I the worst mistake of your life? 162 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,869 You left town three days after you gave birth! 163 00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:17,088 And you once joined a CrossFit gym 164 00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,481 that harvested your kidney! 165 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,265 - Why you gotta be such a buzzkill to your sister? 166 00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,746 - She's my mother! - If she never mothered you, 167 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,400 seems more like she's your sister to me. 168 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,533 - Sorry, I need to close out your tab. 169 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,230 You've ordered the maximum number of hot dogs 170 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,493 we're legally allowed to serve to a group of women. 171 00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:33,322 You're welcome back later with a male chaperone. 172 00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,977 - We're not paying. Watch this. 173 00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:39,284 Death powers. 174 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,682 - Did those beetles come out of her -- 175 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:47,945 - It's better not to think about it. - But I want to. 176 00:07:47,989 --> 00:07:50,513 I may have just figured out my dream job. 177 00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:51,645 - Hey! 178 00:07:56,867 --> 00:08:00,915 - That's my favorite portrait of the three of us. 179 00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,786 - You slept together? 180 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:04,353 - Absolutely. 181 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,790 - We know it's not traditional, but -- 182 00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,139 - Say no more. 183 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:11,534 Parenting, like grief, takes many forms. 184 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:12,970 - Loki wasn't our son. 185 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,015 He was our lover. 186 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,147 The three of us were a triad. 187 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,714 Have you ever heard of polyamory? 188 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,847 - Oh, it's time to renew our vows. 189 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,545 - Once the divorce rate topped 90%, Florida decided 190 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:25,548 to make marriages auto-expire every 24 hours. 191 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:26,810 - You just use the app. 192 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,769 - We were married for almost a decade. 193 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,640 But now, without a third person... 194 00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,860 it's like the vows have lost all meaning. 195 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:35,776 - Like the Pledge of Allegiance, or an MFA. 196 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,604 - Please complete vows in 30 seconds 197 00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,083 to remain lawfully wed. 198 00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:41,608 30, 29... - Won't you join us, Pete? 199 00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:45,568 - Till death or 24 hours from now do us part. 200 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:49,616 - I think it would really help us with our mourning. 201 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,706 - One really shouldn't make hasty decisions 202 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,229 after the death of a loved one, 203 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:56,623 but rebound weddings are included 204 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,538 in the Super Deluxe Package. 205 00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,800 My idea. 206 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,802 - Throw! Throw! Throw! 207 00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,586 - Oh! - Here it goes! 208 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,414 Huegh! 209 00:09:05,457 --> 00:09:06,850 - Take that society! 210 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,505 - Okay, G-8-T-R-6-9-R. - Whee! 211 00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,812 - Why are you writing down license plate numbers? - Hah! Take that! 212 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,683 - So we can send apology notes. - Yeah! 213 00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:16,251 - Or hand-deliver. I don't think we can afford this many stamps. 214 00:09:16,294 --> 00:09:18,601 - Ear popper? Helps with anxiety. 215 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:20,211 - You suffer from anxiety? 216 00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:23,301 - Yeah, fear of getting last place in wet T-shirt contests. 217 00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:25,695 You know, it happens to good people every day. 218 00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,610 - Wet T-shirt contest! 219 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,875 - Trophy, as your Lil' PO, I demand you -- 220 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:34,704 - Somebody's gotta be last place! - Auuugh! 221 00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,619 - Ugh! Seriously?! 222 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,621 If I weren't wearing a rubber undershirt, 223 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,144 I'd be soaked to the bone. 224 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,233 If you'd rather pretend to be a teenager 225 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:45,454 with these screw-ups than spend time with me, fine! 226 00:09:45,497 --> 00:09:48,631 Enjoy being a slave in a social media sweatshop. 227 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,938 - Trophy! Let's put some T-shirts on some roadkill 228 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,635 and get them wet! 229 00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,642 - Who even does wet T-shirt contests anymore? 230 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,079 That's, like, so male-gaze. 231 00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:06,301 Exposing your breasts is not a successful life strategy. 232 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,520 You're okay, Annie. 233 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:11,001 Fear of abandonment is character building. 234 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:14,483 Unlike my fear of zippers, which I just need to work on. 235 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,487 - Get in quick before the police find us. 236 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:27,235 - Girls, I'm Mrs. Clomid. 237 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,498 I run a place that helps young women like you -- 238 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,805 in need of support or escape. 239 00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,937 Good thing I keep my police scanner on 240 00:10:33,981 --> 00:10:36,679 as I drive around town picking up teen girls 241 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,376 thrown away by their families. 242 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,813 - Oh, I'm not a runaway. 243 00:10:39,856 --> 00:10:42,729 I'm related to Trophy -- through birth. 244 00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:45,209 She's easily distracted, but... - Again. Again. 245 00:10:45,253 --> 00:10:46,907 - ...deep down, she loves me. 246 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,038 Pretty sure. 247 00:10:48,082 --> 00:10:51,520 - Now you're officially a Killmore Girl. 248 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,347 - Yes! 249 00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,525 - Feel free to enjoy the amenities, girls. 250 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,614 Whirlpool, free pedicures... 251 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,529 - Here it goes! - ...chicken pox vaccines. 252 00:11:00,572 --> 00:11:02,487 Come on! - Oh! 253 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,663 - Whoo! - What fun! 254 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,795 - Is there somewhere I can sit quietly 255 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,710 until they tire themselves out? 256 00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:09,277 - I want to show you the amenities 257 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,235 I think you'll appreciate. 258 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,628 This way. 259 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:16,414 I could tell from the first moment I saw you 260 00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,068 that you're special. 261 00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,723 I think you'll feel right at home here. 262 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,464 Here's where we all sit down together 263 00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:26,381 for a home-cooked dinner each night -- family style. 264 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,428 - What is..."family style"? 265 00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,214 - My uterus is curious. 266 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,042 My choice... 267 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,217 ...Rolls Royce. 268 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,699 Old man's baby? Yes, they'll pay me. 269 00:11:40,482 --> 00:11:42,919 - First time here? Are you pre or post? 270 00:11:42,963 --> 00:11:44,878 - Oh, um, I -- I'm just getting the tour. 271 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:47,228 - I'm gonna use the money to pay for Stanford. 272 00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:48,403 Then, I'll launch my app. 273 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:50,840 It's like Tinder but for plane tickets. 274 00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,537 - Ooh. - Let's go to my office 275 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,671 and talk about your growth potential. 276 00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,023 - Mm. - There! 277 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:03,200 - You complete us, Pete. Shall we toast? 278 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:08,292 - Oh! I should take this. 279 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207 I'll be right back. 280 00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:11,774 - Petey, where are you? 281 00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:13,080 We work now. 282 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,429 - I'm with the Cuddlefishes. 283 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:17,301 They've asked me to share their lives with them, 284 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,956 and I think I'm...happy? 285 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,263 - Yeah, remember last time you happy. 286 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:23,786 You saw a sunset, 287 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,396 and we nearly went out of business! 288 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,529 - Oh, yeah -- the time I realized 289 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:30,706 that the world was so big and so beautiful. 290 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,316 I wish people didn't get so weirded out 291 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,188 when you grin while burying their family. 292 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:37,321 - Ah-hah. Petey, remember mother? 293 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,062 What does she know? 294 00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,411 - She know best. 295 00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,370 - And what does mother want? 296 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,198 - For Pete to stop being happy 297 00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:46,200 and start being a sad undertaker? 298 00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,505 - Good boy. 299 00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:50,813 - God, she's brilliant! 300 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,470 - What it do? The Duplass Brothers, 301 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,602 Morgan Freeman, Scrooge McDuck, 302 00:12:57,646 --> 00:13:00,127 That Guy Who Drops the Chili on NBC's "The Office" -- 303 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,172 what do they all have in common? 304 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,347 They all want to have kids, 305 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:05,349 but their sperms are too damn old! 306 00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,309 Holla! It would be illegal and disgusting for them 307 00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:09,919 to actually have sex with you, 308 00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,835 but your teenaged eggs are the best money can buy! 309 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,620 F-F-F-Feoow! So, what's up? Here's the tea! 310 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,927 At birth, you simply twerk away your parental rights. 311 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,842 You'll get the future you deserve had your parents 312 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:22,062 loved you more or been rich enough to buy your succe-- 313 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:24,760 - You get the drift. May I speak candidly? 314 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:27,632 You remind me of myself when I was your age. 315 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:30,505 - Your mom abandoned you, killed herself, got reanimated, 316 00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,420 and rather than use her second chance at life 317 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:35,075 to be the kind of mother you deserve, she used it 318 00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,946 to refine her skin regimen? 319 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:38,905 - No. 320 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,385 But Mom did come late to one of my swim meets. 321 00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:46,869 Now I think of every girl here as one of my very own daughters. 322 00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,480 Care for some hot cocoa? 323 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,092 - So, you live in luxury, 324 00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,397 get a wad of cash after the birth, 325 00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,052 and don't have to raise the -- ugh -- baby? 326 00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,793 Sign me up! - Yeah, me too! 327 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,664 - Ladies. 328 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,885 - Girls, you're forgetting everything I've taught you. 329 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,148 Pregnancy means the party's over! 330 00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:07,542 - It's 40,000 Flori-dollars a pop, Grandma. 331 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,370 - They're low-balling you. 332 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,937 - I'm sorry. None of you qualify. 333 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:13,113 I'll need to ask you to leave. - Huh? Why? 334 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,855 - Well, Eternitee, you're already pregnant. 335 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:16,986 - Can't I get double-pregnant? 336 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,901 - No. - I'll show you! 337 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,598 - Infinitee, your drug screening 338 00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:22,165 shows you've been doing ear whippets 339 00:14:22,209 --> 00:14:25,342 as recently as, eh, today. 340 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,388 - I have anxiety! 341 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:29,781 - And Monotonie -- sadly, you're disqualified 342 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:32,088 because Senator Casey Anthony intervened. 343 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,308 - God! My mom never stops ruining my life. 344 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,310 I hate her! - God, I know what you mean. 345 00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,399 Hey, where's Annie? 346 00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,752 How did my story about having her not scare her straight? 347 00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:45,928 Plus, she'll never give up the baby! 348 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,712 She can't even throw away chicken bones. 349 00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,802 She and my brother make these googley-eyed sculptures. 350 00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:52,413 They're -- They're really chilling. 351 00:14:52,456 --> 00:14:53,631 - So, we ditch her. 352 00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,982 Let's go on a Killmore Girls crime spree! 353 00:14:56,025 --> 00:14:58,071 - We should rob a Chick-fil-A. 354 00:14:58,114 --> 00:15:01,683 They're, like, problematic. - You don't understand. 355 00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,598 We have to go help Annie! 356 00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:06,557 You want me to rescue her all by myself?! 357 00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:07,994 What am I, he-- her mother?! 358 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,952 - There's, like, a resemblance. 359 00:15:09,996 --> 00:15:11,388 - Rrrrgh. - Bye-bye. 360 00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:15,827 - Even when I am wearing this tiny hat?! 361 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:19,744 Rrrgh! - Oh, no. Telekinesis? 362 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:22,965 You're not scary. - Oh, wow. That's impressive. 363 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,446 Like, dead, undead. 364 00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:26,795 Make up your mind already. 365 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,232 - Okay. You wanna be scared? 366 00:15:29,276 --> 00:15:32,714 I'll show you your own pathetic deaths 367 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,150 if you don't change your ways. 368 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:36,979 Monotonie, if you don't turn your life around, 369 00:15:37,023 --> 00:15:38,981 you're gonna die hitchhiking 370 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,678 when a trucker accidentally runs you over 371 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:43,986 as he's pulling off the road with plans to murder you. 372 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,640 - Hmm. Complicated much? 373 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,685 - Oh, I'm sorry. Hard to follow? 374 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:50,166 Infinitee, you're gonna drown 375 00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,952 during this weekend's wet T-shirt contest! 376 00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,605 - What place am I in when I drown? 377 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:57,043 - 7th. - Out of how many? 378 00:15:57,086 --> 00:16:00,785 - Seven! And Eternitee, for you, it's death 379 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:03,440 by wasabi Brazil nut! 380 00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:07,009 - That's it. 381 00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:08,402 You're out of the gang. 382 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492 - I've never even been to Wasabi, Brazil. 383 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,320 This is so boring. - Fine! 384 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:17,106 I'll rescue Annie from a life-destroying decision without you! 385 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:20,240 Oh, but a quick spray-tan first wouldn't hurt. 386 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,418 - Everything okay? 387 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,854 - Hey, where are my clothes? 388 00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,770 - Oh, that Soviet-era janitor jumpsuit 389 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,773 with a decaying sandwich inside? 390 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,514 I tossed it. 391 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:35,037 - Augh! Oh! 392 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,387 - We'll get you a whole new wardrobe. 393 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,823 We loved spoiling Loki. 394 00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,304 But, since he tragically died in a VR grease fire, 395 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,827 we're here to spoil you. 396 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,220 - Decaying things aren't just 397 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,222 my life's purpose -- they're my passion! 398 00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:50,183 Baba's right -- you and I have different priorities. 399 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,358 - But -- But our -- 400 00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,534 our only priority is your happiness, Pete! 401 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:55,753 - I'm afraid that's not going to work for me. 402 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,451 Goodbye, Cuddlefishes. 403 00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,018 This was cute. 404 00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:03,065 - So, um, how does this work? 405 00:17:03,109 --> 00:17:04,893 Are there stirrups, or -- 406 00:17:04,936 --> 00:17:06,634 - You just swallow this pill. 407 00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,505 You're instantly impregnated 408 00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,073 with the sperm of anonymous donor 409 00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,119 Sir Rod Stewart. 410 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:16,078 You'll make a great vessel, Annie. 411 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,255 - Wow. I've never felt this cared for. 412 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,736 - Take the pill, and you can feel that way 413 00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,651 for nine more months. 414 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,392 - Annie, don't do it! 415 00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:28,047 Teen pregnancy isn't all baby footprint tattoos, 416 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,918 reality shows, and murder trials. 417 00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,399 It has a human cost. - Leave me alone! 418 00:17:32,442 --> 00:17:34,618 Mrs. Clomid knows what's best for me. 419 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,447 She made me hot cocoa -- with sprinkles! 420 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:38,927 - Damn, she's good. 421 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,494 I should have been the beverage equivalent 422 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:42,104 of the world's best hot cocoa. 423 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:45,020 but life filled your "Mom" mug with an undead can 424 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,108 of flat Malt liquor. 425 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,371 I want to do better. 426 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,724 - Annie's in our care now. 427 00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:57,772 Inseminees aren't allowed to leave the premises. 428 00:17:57,815 --> 00:18:01,906 Trophy, please say your goodbyes. 429 00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,560 - I'm not leaving you to be raised 430 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,346 by a well-meaning old woman again! 431 00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,825 - Why? You seem to prefer 432 00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:10,959 vapid-hot dog-criminal time to mother-daughter time. 433 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,135 - You're right. I don't deserve a smart, 434 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,528 responsible daughter like you. 435 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,661 But this is my second chance -- and yours, too. 436 00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:20,099 You should have some carefree fun for a change, 437 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:23,276 and I should embrace tedium and misery like a real adult. 438 00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:26,714 Don't get pregnant till you're actually ready to be a parent, 439 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:29,847 because you'll be a great one. 440 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:30,892 Death powers. 441 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:32,241 - I think I've made a big mistake. 442 00:18:32,285 --> 00:18:34,200 - "Big Mistake" is my middle name. 443 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,071 Legally. Thanks, Baba. 444 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,159 - I wanna get out of here. 445 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,682 - You got it. 446 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:42,208 Let's run away together this time. 447 00:18:42,251 --> 00:18:45,167 - Oh, you smell like gasoline and popcorn. 448 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,038 - It's the spray tan. 449 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,479 Hey, fertile freaks! 450 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,655 Help us sneak out of here, I'll show you my knockers! 451 00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,787 - I've got this. Girls, I'm desperate. 452 00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,225 I have an interview with Harvard in half an hour, 453 00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,443 and they won't let me leave. 454 00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:02,141 If I miss it, I'll have to go to Vassar. 455 00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:04,099 - Oh, my God, say no more. 456 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:08,147 Sarah, Operation Safety School! 457 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,890 - I just finished my Lil' PO self-assessment, 458 00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,849 and I think I have to turn us both in. 459 00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,634 - You are a little snitch. - The rules were clear. 460 00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:20,159 You had to help the runaways, and I had to supervise. 461 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:21,377 We both failed. 462 00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,336 Together. 463 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,512 - What are you doing here? 464 00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:27,470 - Right after we left the preggo dork mansion, 465 00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:31,387 Eternitee was killed by a wasabi Brazil nut, 466 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:33,128 just like you predicted. 467 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,217 - Oh, my gosh. She was allergic? 468 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,827 - No, I threw it off the overpass 469 00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,046 and hit her in the skull. 470 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:39,439 It was hilarious. 471 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,180 - But it made us realize you were right, Trophy. 472 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,051 - We went to the judge to confess our crimes 473 00:19:43,094 --> 00:19:46,315 and he said, "Due to budget cuts, wanna be sexy cops?" 474 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,231 Now we're SXPD. Duh. 475 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,625 - That means I did scare you straight. 476 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:55,933 Well, except for Eternitee. - Yep, you're officially free. 477 00:19:55,977 --> 00:19:57,196 - Then, why are you here? 478 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:59,459 - We have an arrest warrant for you, Annie. 479 00:19:59,502 --> 00:20:01,809 Says you're harboring a stolen fetus. 480 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,463 - You leave Annie alone, 481 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,682 or I'll send out the beetles to cover your feet 482 00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:07,989 so it looks like you're wearing sensible shoes. 483 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:09,469 - A slip-on clog mule?! 484 00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:12,385 Guh, we'll be kicked off the SXPD force! 485 00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,213 - I guess we could tell them Annie died. 486 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,389 - From a wasabi Brazil nut! 487 00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:18,478 Those deaths tend to happen in pairs. 488 00:20:18,521 --> 00:20:20,088 Bye-bye. 489 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,176 - Get shower, Pete. 490 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,873 Now you need to marry Trophy. 491 00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:25,049 - I'm still married to the Cuddlefishes. 492 00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:27,138 For at least a few more hours. 493 00:20:27,182 --> 00:20:30,316 - Married? You sell a Super Deluxe? 494 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,101 - Let's just put that funeral behind us, shall we? 495 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,407 Anyone feeling hungry? 496 00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,148 We could cook a family-style. - Maybe tomorrow. 497 00:20:37,192 --> 00:20:39,150 Tonight, we deserve a special treat! 498 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,848 - I already had my special treat. 499 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:45,722 It was learning I don't deserve happiness. 500 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,202 - Ummm, Baba. 501 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,769 I have to tell you something. 502 00:20:48,812 --> 00:20:51,641 Long story, but I'm pregnant. 503 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:56,080 - Don't worry, I "bought" you a morning-after hot dog. 504 00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,648 - You did? - I think I'm really getting the hang 505 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:01,390 of this mother/daughter thing. 506 00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,349 - Sorry, little Sir Roderick Stewart. 507 00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,874 - And if no work, I have secret family recipe. 508 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,789 Only fail me one time. 509 00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:14,142 Biggest mistake of my life.