1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,880 ♪♪ 2 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,882 -Attention Edu-Mart educators. 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,300 Due to recent legislation, 4 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,137 please review the newly banned word list and note 5 00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:14,264 Fajitas must now be pronounced Faj-eetas. 6 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,473 -[ Groans ] -What? 7 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,225 -Additionally, your health plan 8 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,894 will no longer cover cult extraction or SSRIs. 9 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,479 -No! No! -What?! 10 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,815 -Uh, I'm not sure you can still call what we do teaching. 11 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:25,942 [ Screams ] At least we still get free chips 12 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,318 at lunch though, right? 13 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,987 -Free chips have also been defunded. 14 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:31,156 -Oh my what?! -That is it! 15 00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:32,991 -We can do that? 16 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,826 -Fellow Halo-Educators! 17 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,163 It's time we fight back against these inhumane 18 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:39,664 working conditions! -That's right! 19 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:43,877 -No more high- voltage compliance shock collars! 20 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,628 -No more being paid in coupons! 21 00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:49,174 -No more raisins in the vending machine! 22 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:51,676 [ Workers chanting "Strike!" ] 23 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,219 -[ Crying ] 24 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:57,974 -♪ I'm not as crazy as I used to be ♪ 25 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:03,146 ♪ Some of my devils up and left me free to find a quiet space ♪ 26 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,688 ♪ I'm not as out of place ♪ 27 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:08,693 ♪ And I'm coming home again ♪ 28 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:13,365 ♪ It's been too long a time gettin' back what's mine ♪ 29 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:18,078 ♪ And I can't remember why I went away ♪ 30 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:23,041 ♪ But it's lookin' now like maybe I can stay ♪ 31 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,584 Was that any good? 32 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,004 -[ Grunts ] [ Tires squeal ] 33 00:01:28,045 --> 00:01:29,422 -Why are you stopping? -Come on. 34 00:01:29,506 --> 00:01:31,508 -Hey, Officer Monotonee! I got three more! 35 00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,468 -Hands behind your back. -Huh? 36 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:36,304 -Ouch. -You are all hereby conscripted 37 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:39,182 by the Fort Gator Department of Education. 38 00:01:39,223 --> 00:01:40,934 -You're taking us to jail? 39 00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,060 -No. High School. 40 00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,311 You're teachers now. 41 00:01:43,395 --> 00:01:45,479 -High school? Take us to jail! 42 00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,482 -Alright, scumbags, squeeze in there 43 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:49,901 with the rest of the parents and legal guardians. 44 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,194 -I'm gonna make a run for it. 45 00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:52,946 Ha-ha! Viva La -- 46 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:55,907 Uggghhh! 47 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,491 -Here; have an apple, teach. 48 00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,077 It'll stop you from swallowing your tongue. 49 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,120 -[ Groans ] 50 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,414 [ Bell ringing ] 51 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,250 -Hey, kids! Meet your new sex ed teacher! 52 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,293 -[ Grunts ] -Mom? 53 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,422 -Fine, let's just get this over with. 54 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,091 Which also happens to be a very essential sex skill. 55 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,592 So, gals, what do they teach here? 56 00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:15,468 Abstinence only? 57 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,803 Abstinence with butt stuff? 58 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,930 I can do a unit on the "Catholic Pass," 59 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:22,267 but I'm also not trying to mess with any secular mandates. 60 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,935 -Thankfully, you don't really have to teach. 61 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,895 It's a video curriculum. 62 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,731 [ Chime plays ] 63 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:30,775 -[ Laughs ] Look at those sex nerds. 64 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,652 I bet they haven't even had sex yet. 65 00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,655 -Yea. I bet they don't even know how amazing sex can be 66 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:39,284 between two consenting adults in a monogamous relationship. 67 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,120 -What? We totally made sex. 68 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,329 Right? -Yeah. 69 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,290 I read about sex in the newspaper 70 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,416 and then we did it. 71 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:48,960 -Prove it, sex nerd! -Freeze! 72 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,295 Hi, I'm a doctor. 73 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,130 And what you're seeing is a medical thing 74 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,423 called Sex Pressure. 75 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,050 In fact, the urge to have sex 76 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,801 can always be traced back 77 00:02:56,843 --> 00:03:00,555 to bullying, whether it's from peers or hormones. 78 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:05,226 Sex is dangerous and can sometimes be fatal. 79 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,729 -Did somebody ask for Herpes? 80 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:11,191 Fun fact! There's over one hundred strains of HPV. 81 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:14,194 Now guess how many of 'em can live on your tongue ring? 82 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,779 -What a boner killer. 83 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,989 Sounds like this class was designed to scare you 84 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:21,659 into forgetting sex can occasionally feel good. 85 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,286 They at least taught you the basics, right? 86 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,163 -Ah, no, they didn't. -What are the basics? 87 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,498 -No, no, no. -I wish. 88 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,957 -Well, I'm your teacher now. 89 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:29,000 Ask me any anything. 90 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,335 -How do you sixty-nine? 91 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,462 -Don't. It's like a working vacation. 92 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,172 Next. -Can I leave? 93 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:35,507 I'm asexual. 94 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,591 -Me too, could take it or leave it, 95 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,387 unless there's something in it for me financially! 96 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,846 Stick around, toots. Yea. 97 00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,182 -If God's watching me even when I masturbate, 98 00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,850 should I report God to the police? 99 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,144 -Are you still a virgin if you've had sex in the Metaverse? 100 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,189 -Do you really need a permission slip to go to second base? 101 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,316 -Who is Jim Carrey? -Guys. 102 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,567 I feel like we're really getting off topic here. 103 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,530 How about a little more ED and a little less S.E.X.? 104 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,699 -Booo! -But, Annie, your mommy 105 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,159 is like the Dalai Lama of doing it. 106 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:04,327 -I am, aren't I? 107 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,662 Now, for tonight's homework, 108 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:07,372 I want each of you to answer the question 109 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,749 "what makes me horny"? 110 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,668 And if it's a video, don't forget to tag me. 111 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,711 [ Laughter ] 112 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,171 Now, anyone got a banana on them? 113 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,380 For the rest of the period 114 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,507 I can show you how to give head 115 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,469 while eating a banana at the same time. 116 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,430 Pay attention, Annie. 117 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,056 There will be a quiz on this. 118 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,308 [ Tires squeal, horn honks ] 119 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:28,643 -You're not teaching me to drive; 120 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:30,812 you're just making me run your errands! 121 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,480 We already dropped off cremains 122 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,858 and took your bras to be tailored. 123 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,568 -Are you not driving? 124 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:39,112 -At least tell me what these signs mean! 125 00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:40,780 -They all mean go faster. 126 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,409 -Ahhhhhhhhh! [ Engine revving ] 127 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,995 [ People screaming ] 128 00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:48,872 [ Retches ] 129 00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,165 -Hey, hat boy! 130 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,707 You up. 131 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:54,252 -As Jean Luc-Godard once said, "No can do." 132 00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:57,255 I'm actually writing my memoir as a post-fiction narrative 133 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,298 about the trauma driving -- 134 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,632 -Publishing dead, kid. 135 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,010 Baba got big home and garden run to do. 136 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:03,345 Get in. -Oh, no. 137 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,846 -[ Grunts ] 138 00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:06,306 -Coach said that I can have three more concussions 139 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:08,016 before I'm too dangerous to drive! 140 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:11,436 Um, quick question, the little pedal stop or go? 141 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:13,396 [ Tires squeal ] 142 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:18,860 -Your beret's angled real hot today, Phineas. 143 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,363 -Uh, the technical term is askew. 144 00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,198 Shouldn't you be braiding something? 145 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:24,449 -Oh. 146 00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:25,700 [ Handcuffs click ] 147 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,577 -No fair! That's got to be something. 148 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,995 -I guess he could teach 4H? 149 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,455 -We were gonna release the animals 150 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:32,457 on the expressway and cancel it, 151 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,792 but this is easier. 152 00:05:33,832 --> 00:05:36,211 -♪ Three, two, one ♪ 153 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,754 ♪ Life is boring ♪ 154 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,798 ♪ But so is death ♪ 155 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,092 ♪ My parents got arrested ♪ 156 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,511 ♪ For crystal meth ♪ 157 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,096 ♪ They got their issues ♪ 158 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,263 ♪ It's not my fault ♪ 159 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,516 -Ahem, excuse me. Hello, teens. 160 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,476 I'm your new teacher, Mr. Fantasy. 161 00:05:51,558 --> 00:05:57,482 My pronouns are, as our friend the donkey might say, hee/him. 162 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,942 -How marvelous... 163 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,528 Yeah, Mr. Anderson lets us practice in here. 164 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,987 -A one, two, three, four -- 165 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,114 -Hold up, students! 166 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,116 This is the new 4H. 167 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,828 Now, I'm not 100% sure what the H's stand for, 168 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:12,372 but one could stand for horse. 169 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,332 Another for hog! 170 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,667 -Okay. 171 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,044 -Hog is just a less fancy word for pig. 172 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,879 -What's a pig? 173 00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:23,717 -Really? And the work begins! 174 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,344 Where are you guys from anyways? 175 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,972 -Connecticut. -Of course. 176 00:06:29,014 --> 00:06:30,181 New England. 177 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,226 Okay, now this is a pig. 178 00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:35,478 -Teach? That's a cow, innit? 179 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,355 -I'll talk slower! 180 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,149 This cow! 181 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:43,194 It's like a pig, only its milk is not as sweet. 182 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,696 -And that's a sexy cow. 183 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,072 You can tell by the hair. 184 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:50,744 -I don't disagree, but we call sexy cows horses. 185 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,289 -Wait. I thought you said that was a horse. 186 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,082 Clarity! Come on, man! 187 00:06:56,166 --> 00:07:00,837 -Mate, are you sure you're qualified to teach this class? 188 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,547 -Wait. Is that a horse? 189 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,633 -We are, Conceived in Orlando! 190 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,385 -A one, two, three, four! 191 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:10,764 ♪♪ 192 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:12,515 -Annie, why aren't you masturbating? 193 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,352 Quit goofing around and go do your homework! 194 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,730 -Look, Baba already taught me everything I need to know. 195 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,357 -Oh, I got that same lesson: 196 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:21,566 pleasure is for the weak 197 00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:23,401 and how to make lube from goat's milk. 198 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:28,239 -Baba knows so much about sexuality and farm animals. 199 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:30,241 We're all very lucky. 200 00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,202 -See? I'm solid. 201 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,621 Can't you just look the other way and give me a good grade? 202 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,664 -Sorry, Annie. If anything I have to be 203 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,792 extra hard on you so the other kids won't think 204 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,085 I'm playing favorites! 205 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,170 -What if I want you to play favorites? 206 00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:45,715 -Even if I did, you wouldn't be one of them! 207 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:48,134 But if it helps, I posted a link 208 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,553 to some of my more "vanilla sexual fantasies" 209 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,681 on Google classroom as a prompt 210 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,100 for remedial students like yourself. 211 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,810 -You could get fired for that you know. 212 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,688 -They don't fire teachers, Annie. 213 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,439 -[ Grunts ] 214 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,774 [ Tires squeal ] 215 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,776 -Huh. I guess Baba got drivers Ed. 216 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:06,444 It's really the lesser of the Eds. 217 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,529 -What this? 218 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,489 Keep dinner suggestions to self. 219 00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,116 Unless you cooking. 220 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,284 -No, Baba. I'm prepping for my class. 221 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,287 I didn't expect the material to be so challenging! 222 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,539 Or the kids. 223 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,707 -I have problem student, too. 224 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:24,337 Arrogant youth in ironic hat who refuse to drive. 225 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,714 -At least one of us is thriving. 226 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,383 Sex ed is my calling. -[ Scoffs ] 227 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:32,095 In my day, sex ed was welding own chastity belt 228 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,471 from copper kettle. 229 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,764 [ Copper dings ] 230 00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:41,438 -So I thought I was watching a [quietly] porno, 231 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,523 [normal voice] but it turns out I was watching a 232 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:47,318 [quietly] video of someone making pasta really slowly. 233 00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:51,281 That said, it got me there. Is that okay? 234 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:55,076 -Sure. I'm not anti-pasta. Find your pleasure. 235 00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,703 And finally let's hope my daughter 236 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,164 found something that made her clam cramp! 237 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,082 Annie. -I'd rather not. 238 00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,667 -Do it! 239 00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,794 -Ahh, I've been thinking 240 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,504 I'd like being kissed... 241 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,548 on the forehead? 242 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,175 -[ Imitates buzzer] Poor thing. 243 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,801 Never had a grandpa. 244 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,262 Annie, since you're prudishness is dulling down the class, 245 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:17,807 I've arranged for you to get some extra help. 246 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,309 Meryl! 247 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,894 -Ayyp! -Is -- I... 248 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,520 Are you my tutor? 249 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,398 -[ Chuckles ] You're not ready for what I gotta teach, kid. 250 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,442 Your bus is here. -Bus to where? 251 00:09:27,484 --> 00:09:29,152 Please don't send me to sex jail! 252 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,071 -If I had a ticket to sex jail 253 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,031 I sure wouldn't waste it on you! 254 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,159 Let's go. [ Children gasping ] 255 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,327 Okay, class. 256 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,870 Here's a little game I made 257 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,246 when I was bored a while back. 258 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:41,915 I'm very proud it gets to be used 259 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,334 for education purposes. 260 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,087 -Do it! 261 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,296 -Uh... 262 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:49,881 Sure, sure, sure. 263 00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,383 -What wrong? -[ Grunts ] 264 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,218 -You think car have feelings. 265 00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:56,179 Driving no hurt them. They like it! 266 00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,306 -It's complicated. 267 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,558 -Okay, Baba drive. [ Tires squeal ] 268 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,894 You not like other Gator boys. 269 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:06,523 Why you even take car class if you no want to be driver? 270 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,358 -You see, I've been accepted to the Sorbonne. 271 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,860 Alas, the one thing standing in my way 272 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,238 is passing driver's education. 273 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,531 But I hate cars. 274 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,282 And this town and everyone in it. 275 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,703 -Ahhh. Hatred can be thing that drive you. 276 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,871 Or car can? -Ha! 277 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,581 What know you of hatred? 278 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,251 -Baba know what it is to despise where you born. 279 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,587 I flee Old Country with dream of better life. 280 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:33,091 Here I find sunshine, no income tax, 281 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:35,552 jellybean that taste bad on purpose, 282 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,388 and population dying at rapid pace. 283 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,306 My dream come true. 284 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:42,183 For you it France. 285 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:44,477 Where they wear hat that no block sun. 286 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,397 -Ah, finally. Somebody around here who gets me. 287 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,900 Please tell me, why am I so afraid of automobiles? 288 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,194 -Car is not to fear. 289 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,822 This is to fear. [ Gunshot ] 290 00:10:55,905 --> 00:11:00,243 Now put hand on wheel like it frail woman's shoulder. 291 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,703 [ Steering wheel clicks ] 292 00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:07,917 ♪♪ 293 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:10,462 ♪♪ 294 00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,839 -A car so nice they sold it twice! 295 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,592 Honk if you love capitalism! [ Horn honks ] 296 00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,053 -I can't do it! Please drive me home. 297 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,512 -Sure. Baby step. 298 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,223 Next time, we go farther. 299 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,268 With driving! 300 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,312 ♪♪ 301 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,105 -Howdy 4H'ers! 302 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,441 So today's topic: Farm Animals -- 303 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,526 they have tails, we don't. 304 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,071 How come they get to have all the fun? 305 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,864 [ Gasps ] -Bleeding hell! 306 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,783 Someone's written on the side of that dog. 307 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:42,994 -It couldn't have been us. We're conformists. 308 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,537 -This is the most effed up version 309 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:46,623 of "Charlotte's Web" I've ever seen. 310 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,001 Who is the animal that's responsible? 311 00:11:50,085 --> 00:11:51,461 -We're all animals. 312 00:11:51,503 --> 00:11:53,463 Mr. Anderson taught us that. 313 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:56,299 Maybe the horse did it to himself? Ay? 314 00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,552 -And how would a pig know what anarchy means? 315 00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,596 -Do you know what anarchy means, sir? 316 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:04,599 -It sounds like a delicious Peruvian soup! 317 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,975 Lemme see. [ Watch beeps ] 318 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:09,521 "A state of disorder due to absence of authority." 319 00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,773 Okay. I see what's going on! 320 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:15,360 I was gonna give you all fun animal joke ice pops 321 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,904 that reveal a punchline when you eat 'em. 322 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,447 But not anymore! 323 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,490 -[ Laughs ] What a doughnut! 324 00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,659 -You think you want chaos? 325 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,702 -Chill! Alright! 326 00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:27,706 You think you can handle lawless disorder? 327 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:30,208 What's that tough guy?! Say it again! 328 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,334 -Oops. [ Cymbal chimes ] 329 00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,378 That's the bell, Mr. Fantasy. 330 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,630 Little request. Can we do ducks tomorrow? 331 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,257 -Bye, teach! 332 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,675 [ Cow moos ] 333 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,386 -I am so sorry you all had to see that. 334 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,805 Especially you. [ Pig snorts ] 335 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,351 [ Woman moans ] 336 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,438 -[ Gasps ] -Welcome to Erica's 337 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:52,939 Erotica Emporium, 338 00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,357 You must be Annie! 339 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:56,109 Trophy told me all about those 340 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:57,527 budding little potato titties 341 00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,030 and asked if I'd tutor you between customers. 342 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,323 Why don't you price these tentacle dildos 343 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:03,783 while we sex rap. 344 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:06,453 So, what's your deal? You confused? 345 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,371 Questioning? Catholic? 346 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,415 -I'd say interested, 347 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:12,208 but my mother is a sex bully. 348 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:15,211 And I don't want to talk with her about my romantic life. 349 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,546 -Alright, Prudy Judy. 350 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,340 I've got just the thing. -Ah. 351 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,551 -This new AI stimulator is like the Harry Potter 352 00:13:21,593 --> 00:13:23,261 sorting hat of turn-ons. 353 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:27,307 Its algorithms are going to figure you out in no time. 354 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,893 Just go behind the curtain and try to relax. 355 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,561 -[ Gasps ] -Don't worry, honey, 356 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,064 you can keep your clothes on if you want. 357 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,274 ♪♪ 358 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,568 -Welcome, Annie Fantasy. 359 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:41,321 Think of me as your AI big sister. 360 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,783 I'm here to detect what turns you on. 361 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,576 -Let me stop you right there. 362 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,287 It's just, between my mother becoming my sex ed teacher 363 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:50,747 and trying to fail me, 364 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:53,124 and Erica's terrifying sex toys -- 365 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,085 -Erica. Coming right up. 366 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,961 -Oh, no. -Hey, little lady. 367 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,923 Hear you need some help adjusting your diaphragm? 368 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,092 -Ah! This VR is worse than Regular R! 369 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:06,388 Where can a girl go to get away from sex-positive older women? 370 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,556 -Wow. Big house. 371 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,976 -This tacky monstrosity is what I must call home. 372 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,895 You see why I'm suffocating here? 373 00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:18,608 -I don't know, Baba think it understated and stylish. 374 00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:22,028 -So, did my stupid son finally get his license or what? 375 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,782 -Ivan! I see now. Your father Car Tzar. 376 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,451 Not yet, your majesty. Boy still learning. 377 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:32,288 Not ready. Intimidated. -Listen, grandma. 378 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,917 I bought junior here a sports car in every color and flavor. 379 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,669 They just sit here waiting for him. 380 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,463 This can be all his if he grows some hair on his chest 381 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,756 and passes that road test! 382 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,800 Capeesh? -If you love cars so much, 383 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:45,802 you should've married a car and had a car son. 384 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,929 Then maybe mom wouldn't have thrown herself off the roof. 385 00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,139 I hate you! Ah! 386 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:51,307 -Ooooh, looks like someone's been eating at 387 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:54,644 OutBRAT Steakhouse and making his daddy pay the bill. 388 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,604 Ain't that right, junior? -Tzar, sir. 389 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,982 Even child who run off as big disappointment 390 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:02,318 will come back to family business eventually. 391 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,862 Trust me. 392 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:04,988 [ Tires squeal ] 393 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:07,824 Like Franz Kafka and Britney Spears, 394 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:12,037 you will use hate for father to overcome fear. 395 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,205 [ Steering wheel clicks ] 396 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:15,790 [ Laughs ] 397 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,417 [ Tires squeal ] 398 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:22,213 -A lot of people live full lives without "sexual pleasure" right? 399 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,382 Nuns, neutered dogs, 400 00:15:24,466 --> 00:15:26,343 Peter Pan, women... 401 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:28,053 -No sex talk or loitering. 402 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,847 Either browse or get a boyfriend, kid. 403 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:33,600 -Oh, wow. [ Coughs ] 404 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,186 -Beautiful globe, huh? -I mean, I like it. 405 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,021 Not sure I'm sexually attracted to it or anything. 406 00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:40,440 -I think you're in the wrong store, young lady. 407 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,984 You must be looking for Erica. -No! 408 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,944 It's just, I'm under a lot of pressure to talk 409 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,988 about what makes me [whispers] horny. 410 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,531 You know, for school. 411 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,326 -Sounds like a bad school. -Yeah... 412 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,870 Mind if I keep looking around till the bus comes back? 413 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,038 I love your shop. 414 00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,331 Platonically that is. 415 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:59,250 -If you are trying to control your carnal urges, 416 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,045 the Victorians did it best! 417 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,547 Back then even these table legs were considered 418 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,549 too sexually explicit. 419 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,051 Pretty kinky, huh? 420 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,137 I have the largest collection of Victorian Era 421 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:15,433 erotica in Fort Gator, take your time. 422 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,979 -Wait, Mr. Kim! Who's this? 423 00:16:20,063 --> 00:16:22,982 -You never heard of Pantomime Pip? 424 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:26,569 He was a teen heart throb of the Gilded Age. 425 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,573 His meekness made the girls swoon. 426 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,242 -Annie? -Joey? 427 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,286 [ Gasps ] Mr. Kim, he looks just like a boy I loved 428 00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,705 and never thought I'd see again 429 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,873 because my mother threw him down a trash shoot. 430 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:40,083 -Huh? 431 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,460 -I realized who I love, 432 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:44,254 and what I want to do with him! 433 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,047 Thanks, Mr. Kim! 434 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,884 -Another future female leader jacking off in my bathroom. 435 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,930 It's why I got into this business in the first place. 436 00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:59,686 -Look! Baba, I'm parking a parallel! 437 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:04,232 Oh, thank you so much for believing in me! 438 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:11,156 -Hatred can make boy do as many crazy things as love. 439 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,366 -Baba, have you ever been in love? 440 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,160 -Ah, who knows. 441 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,244 -Mm! 442 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,039 -Oh, boy. -I'm sorry, Baba. 443 00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,540 By leaning into my hatred, I've unlocked my potential. 444 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,294 It's like I don't know whether to go punch my dad in the face 445 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,171 or paint a portrait of you. 446 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,966 May I? -Paint good side. 447 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,887 -Oh, Baba, come to Paris with me. 448 00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,638 We'll leave right after I pass my road test tomorrow. 449 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:38,892 We can abhor stuff together, en francais. 450 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,478 -You go study art? -I dunno. 451 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,313 I might create something pastry adjacent? 452 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,065 Or start a new crypto currency 453 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,192 or make pop-up ads for big pharma? 454 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,234 I need a muse! 455 00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,653 -Just find student you hate most 456 00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:53,656 and be better than them at what they love. 457 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,493 Let revenge fuel success. 458 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:57,952 -Like gas fuels a car. 459 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:01,414 Uh, you are so wise and so droopy. 460 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,125 Come with me. -Hmm. 461 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,336 [ Rock music playing ] 462 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:10,757 ♪♪ 463 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,177 -I bet you thought I was too chicken to show up. 464 00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,345 [ Chicken clucks ] 465 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,473 Just so you know, I mean chicken in a good way, 466 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,892 because I love chickens! 467 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:24,896 I am the chicken teacher this school has ever seen! 468 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,815 [ Laughter ] 469 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,858 [ Gasps ] Wait, Big Mac? 470 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,195 Is that Capitalism? Irony? Monarchist? What! 471 00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,114 -More like semiotics I'm afraid. 472 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:35,990 -That poor horse! 473 00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:38,535 -I thought you said that was a sheep. 474 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,036 You plunker! 475 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,413 -Did I? 476 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:43,039 [ Laughter ] 477 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,541 -What a muppet! -Bro, we were 478 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,667 just messing with you. 479 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,793 Stop being so silly. 480 00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,545 Jesus. Is that a padlock? 481 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:49,879 -Yo, crapnecks! 482 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:52,382 Today's lesson is on GOATs, 483 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:54,467 As in, the greatest of all time. 484 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:55,719 And that's me, bro. 485 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:59,264 And do you know what you feed goats? 486 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,390 Respect. 487 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:03,685 R.E.S.P.C.TECT. 488 00:19:03,727 --> 00:19:04,728 [ Horse whinnies ] 489 00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:05,812 [ Grunts ] 490 00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,063 -Oh! Blimey. 491 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,399 -Why do that sheep hate teach? 492 00:19:09,441 --> 00:19:12,402 -That poor, dumb man. 493 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,279 -So, Shelly, if I was DTF, 494 00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:16,781 what should I text back to your father's buddy... 495 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,241 Annie. [ Door opens ] 496 00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,659 Welcome back. 497 00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:21,578 Let's hope she finally found something 498 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,038 to give her a UTI, 499 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,622 the cool way! Right girls? 500 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:28,043 -I did find something that made my mini Annie go awwwww. 501 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,754 And I also realized it's best not to tell you who 502 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,922 or what I'm into because you'll ruin it. 503 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,090 That's my business. 504 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:36,801 Which is thriving, by the way. 505 00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,095 -Hell yeah, Annie, we love to see 506 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:41,723 a woman-owned business succeed! 507 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:42,891 [ Fingers snapping ] 508 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,726 -Stop being a prude, Annie! 509 00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,770 Tell me or you fail the class. 510 00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:47,979 -Then I'll fail. 511 00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:51,649 Seems I'm also turned on by integrity! 512 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,193 -Hey kids, I'm back! 513 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,320 After many rounds of negotiations, 514 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:58,948 management said if we didn't "agree to their demands" 515 00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:02,285 we'd actually have to come back to teach IRL. 516 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:03,953 So strikes over! 517 00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:05,747 -But I've finally found my purpose. 518 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:08,458 I'd rather teach doin' it than do it! 519 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,461 Plus the kids, they love me. 520 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,921 -You actually scare me. 521 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,214 -Oh, get lost, creep. 522 00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,840 It's weird to talk to kids about sex 523 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,550 if you're not getting paid. 524 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,552 ♪♪ 525 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,221 -Goat, grab suitcase. 526 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,764 [ Goat bleats ] 527 00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:26,226 Ooh, if I had topless painting for every 528 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,645 iconoclastic youth who fall in love with Baba 529 00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:31,272 at first taste of mentorship... [ Goat bleats ] 530 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,608 I have fifteen topless paintings. 531 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:34,776 [ Goat bleats ] 532 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:37,529 ♪♪ 533 00:20:37,612 --> 00:20:39,239 -Sorry I couldn't protect you guys. 534 00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:43,284 I guess I'm just not a very good teacher. 535 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,287 [ Gasps ] Mr. Fantasy. 536 00:20:46,371 --> 00:20:49,541 That's me! [ Laughs ] 537 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:52,002 So they do think I'm the Goat! 538 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:55,839 [ Gasps ] And they know which one the goat is! 539 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,508 -What are you still doing on school grounds? 540 00:20:58,550 --> 00:20:59,676 Strike's over. 541 00:20:59,718 --> 00:21:02,178 -Making a difference. -Great. 542 00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,347 Now clean 'em up before the paint toxins 543 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,390 seep into their brains 544 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,100 and give them the ability to talk. 545 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:10,395 Oh, don't tell me you've never seen "Dr. Dolittle!" 546 00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,313 S'all about brain damage! 547 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,357 [ Engine revs ] 548 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,734 -Baba, I passed! 549 00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:16,901 I've got my license! 550 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:18,778 Paris awaits! 551 00:21:21,406 --> 00:21:22,490 [ Goat baa's ] 552 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:24,325 [ Tires squeal ] 553 00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:28,371 She even taught a goat to drive beautifully. 554 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,914 -Dear, Phineas. 555 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,876 You good kisser, but Baba not 556 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,879 drop everything to go to Paris with you. 557 00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,964 Many of us have idiot parent. 558 00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:41,551 But we can grow away from them into something fantastic, 559 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:45,513 like flower growing out of pile of dung. 560 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,140 Now go waste time. 561 00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:48,808 Get college degree. 562 00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:50,477 Then you realize car business 563 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,981 better than having to find way to support yourself. 564 00:21:55,065 --> 00:21:59,694 Hate fades like love I'm afraid. 565 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:00,737 -Huh huh huh. 566 00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:02,614 Tu est stupide. 567 00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:03,698 -Huh huh huh. 568 00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:05,408 Tu est stupide. 569 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:07,160 -No. Stupide. 570 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,996 -♪ Gift-wrap your heart, you're sweet ♪ 571 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,124 ♪ I'll pickle it with the others ♪ 572 00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:16,211 ♪ I need your love just like ♪ 573 00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:22,384 ♪ I need a hole in my side ♪ 574 00:22:22,425 --> 00:22:25,220 ♪♪