(WHEEL CLICKS)
- Chee-hoo!
- (GRUNTS)
- (SMOOCHES)
- (GRUNTS)
- Ha ha ha ha!
- (BELCHES)
- Shame!
- (BLUBBERS)
- BRITISH ACCENT: All right?
- Whee!
- (SCREAMS)
- (GIGGLES)
- (GASPS)
- Whoo!
(THEME MUSIC CRESCENDOS)
- Say cheese. - (SIGHS) Cheese.
www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023
(TYPEWRITER CLACKS)
(DING!)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Kia ora koutou and welcome to the grand finale of Taskmaster New Zealand, season four.
My name is Jeremy Wells,
and every day, the prime minister brings me breakfast in bed;
the Governor General drives me to work,
and the King of England himself does my coffee run.
Why? Because I am the Taskmaster.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Before me are five brave comedians who've reached the end of their quest.
One last time, we'll watch them attempt a series of tasks.
One last time, I'll award them points based on their efforts.
The end of it all tonight, though, we'll tell you the scores and crown the champion of seasonfour.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
They take home an epic prize pack,
including this beautiful Taskmaster trophy...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
...and a taxi voucher for the ride home. (LAUGHTER)
And here they are, the five comedians competing for death or glory ―
Bubbah! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Dai Henwood! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Karen O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Mel Bracewell! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And Ray O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And, for the last time this season,
please welcome the man by my side with the amount of applause he deserves ―
a quiet to moderate clap, please, for Paul Williams.
(SOFT APPLAUSE, SCATTERED CHEERING)
- Thanks to the woman who screamed. (LAUGHTER)
You know what? Jeremy, I'm really sad that it's the last episode.
But, you know, I'll be OK. I'm going back to my regular job being a male escort.
- A male escort? - Yes.
I think most people would use the term 'postman'.
(LAUGHTER)
But I prefer male escort.
- How are we starting this final episode, Paul?
- As always, we are kicking off with a prize task.
So tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in the cheapest luxury thing.
- AUDIENCE: Oooh! - Thank you.
- Karen, let's start with you.
- OK, so this was my second choice.
My first choice was a bottle of Moet & Chandon champagne, which I actually got for free.
So cheap, but luxurious.
I did it to buy a $1 million house to get it. But... (LAUGHTER)
But I ditched that because, on the way here, I found something on the roadside which was evenbetter.
It was cheap, but look how luxurious it is.
It's 8kg of shampoo in a suitcase.
(LAUGHTER)
- I feel like I've seen this before. - Yeah, you have.
It was his prize from another time, but I found it on the side of the road.
They hadn't even thrown it in the bin. It's on the side of the footpath.
- Well, hold on. Who won that episode? Mel?
- I spent $140 on that shampoo. You just left it on the side of the road.
- So that's why it's so luxurious. Actually quite expensive. But for me, free.
- OK. Bubbah, what did you bring in?
- My one seems expensive, but because I got it with a five-finger discount...
(LAUGHTER)
...it's pretty cheap.
It's all of Ray's Nintendo games and his Nintendo Switch.
(AUDIENCE GASPS, LAUGHS)
(APPLAUSE)
- (LAUGHS)
- I've been looking for that!
I filed a police report! (LAUGHTER)
- No, so your flatmate― - My flatmate told me to file a police report!
- No... (LAUGHTER)
Ta-da!
- Ray, what did you bring in?
- Um...
Well, when I think luxury, I think a day at the spa.
And so I've organised a day at the spa run by myself.
And so we start with the Jacuzzi.
(LAUGHTER)
So you'll sit in that and I'll blow bubbles into that using the straw.
And then next you have a hot stone massage.
So that... (LAUGHTER)
And then finally, a deep tissue massage where I massage you
with tissues from deep within the tissue box.
And that's free.
- He's got a lot of time now he doesn't have his Nintendo switch.
- Sounds terrifying.
- Who's next? Mel? - I have gone with something that is also free.
I have brought in an unpaid intern.
(LAUGHTER)
That's Jordan. He gets my coffees for me, and he does it for exposure.
- So what you've brought in here is a slave.
(LAUGHTER)
- That is your judgement on... capitalism.
- I actually started out as a PA.
Not many people know that. But very briefly,
before my parents added the U and the L on to my birth certificate. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
- Dai, what did you bring in? - Well, for me, the time of day you need luxury is at night.
You work long hours.
A lot of us work long hours.
So what you need is to replenish your qi
while sucking the toxins out of your body.
So what I have here
is some revitalising foot pads
which have a good scent.
It also makes you feel a little bit naughty.
And there's a song that says, 'You can leave your hat on,'
but it's also referring to foot pads.
So I've got another example here.
(LAUGHTER)
- After seeing that, I don't want my clothes back from you.
- OK, this is not gonna be easy to judge because...
- You can take it down ― that photo, if you like. (LAUGHTER)
- So first of all, Bubbah, would you say a Nintendo is a luxury item?
- Yeah, cos I never had one.
So it's a luxury for some.
(LAUGHTER)
- CHUCKLES: Yeah. - I'm getting political.
(APPLAUSE)
- Am I racist for owning a Nintendo Switch? (LAUGHTER)
- I think, ultimately, I would go slavery ― one point.
Shampoo ― two points.
Ray's spa ― God help me ― three points.
Four points for stealing something out of Ray's place.
And five points for the foot pads. Really?
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Really?
This is such an auspicious occasion. I think it's a perfect time to do a season update.
- OK. Currently in first equal,
both on 143... (ALL 'OOH')
...it's Bubbah and Mel.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- All right. I am champing at the bit to crown a champ.
Let's get to our first proper task of the show, Paul.
It's time to crack a case that I've been trying to solve since I was a kid.
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
- Hello.
Ooh! Do you think it's a mystery, like we've gotta follow crumbs somewhere?
(GASPS) - BOTH: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
- You took the cookie from the cookie jar.
- I didn't take the cookie from the cookie― - Who, me?
- Oh. (ALL LAUGH)
- What's in your mouth? - Paul did you...?
- Paul, what's in your mouth? - What's in your mouth? Spit it out.
You're covered in cookie. - You've got crumbs all over your bowtie.
- Spit it out. - MUFFLED: I don't want to.
- Well, swallow it. Oh, we don't have time.
- This is a moist taskette.
- It is sodden. - CHUCKLES: It's wet.
- Did you try to eat this?
- READS: Who stole a cookie from the cookie jar? - We're on track already.
- READS: 'You may make one accusation against one suspect.
- 'Your accusation begins when you say the word "j'accuse".
- 'Fastest correct accusation wins. Your―'
Are we ready? - Read the rest of the task, please?
- Sorry, it's rude to talk with your mouth full. - Sorry.
- 'Your time... starts... now.'
(APPLAUSE)
- It was quite brutal what you were doing to Paul there, making him spit out that cookie.
That was unlike you, Ray. - I just wanted to turn on Paul.
(STAMMERS) I don't know what I'm saying. (LAUGHS) - Wait, what?
(LAUGHTER)
The most out-of-character thing Ray has done this entire season.
- LAUGHS: And I'm currently dressed as Bubbah.
The spirit of the clothes took over me.
- So who are we seeing first? - First up on the case, it's three of the finest detectives wehave ―
Detective Henwood, Detective O'Leary, and Detective Bubbah.
- Do you only get one guess? One accusation?
- So you've got to accuse one person of stealing the cookie.
- Well, he's got it in his mouth. He's also got crumbs on his bow tie.
(LAUGHTER)
- That doesn't look like that sort of cookie, does it?
Oh, no. But there's white― - Yeah.
Well, who else is it gonna be? It's not us.
- And there's no one else who's been standing― - Quickly. This is timed.
- OK, um, yeah.
- J'accuse... - This is too easy.
- Well, then, j'accuse Paul!
(LAUGHTER)
- I've stopped the clock. - Great.
- Thank you, Dai. - Oh!
- Thank you. - (LAUGHS) - Mean!
- Thank you, Bubbah. Thank you, Karen. - Thank you. Why was it all wet?
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- So, straight away, Karen. It's clearly Paul, is it?
- As I've done a bit of policing in my time... (LAUGHTER)
...what I've learned is you just accuse the most obvious person.
- Yeah, watching that, it had the vibe that maybe this was the task before lunch or something. And we...
(LAUGHTER)
- So it was very quick. They were very quick.
22 seconds.
22 seconds?! - So can I just― Was the clue wet?
- We didn't notice that. - Well, we call them tasks, but...
the task was quite wet. - Ours was dry as a bone.
- Cos everything else I've done on Cluemaster was... (LAUGHTER)
...was dry.
It was dry, and that was wet.
Was it? - Karen did walk off saying, 'Why is everything wet?'
- I was talking about myself. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
- It's time for some ads. When we come back, we'll answer the question ― Whodunit?
Where the 'it' that's being done is winning this task.
We'll see you soon. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(THEME MUSIC)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Welcome back to Taskmaster ―
the show where comedians go above and beyond for a chance to visit the worst spa in the entire world.
What's going on, Paul? - Our contestants are answering the age-old question ―
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
Our threesome fingered me for the crime.
(LAUGHTER)
But...
was it me, or couldn't be?
- I guess we should watch others to find out then, I suppose.
- These guys love cracking open a case.
Yeah, a case of ice-cold, unsolved crimes.
It's Mel and Ray.
(MEL GASPS)
- 'Fastest correct accusation wins.'
What do we got? - OK. A cocktail was ordered for $17.
What's this in here? The Biscuit Palace.
(GASPS) You bought your own cookie. - I would never steal.
- So... (GASPS) you've got two more cookies in here.
- OK. What does the receipt say, sorry?
- The receipt is a cocktail ― Trial By Cherry.
- Do we go to the bar? It sells alcohol there. - Yes! (GASPS) Let's go to the bar.
(GASPS) Oh my God! I love this!
Scarlett Wigs. Do you have your phone?
- I don't― Paul, give me your phone. - OK.
- There's an earring.
(PHONE VIBRATES)
(GASPS)
- Hello. I just― - What is this in your locker?
- No, that's― (STAMMERS) That's not me. Are you trying to frame me, Paul?
OK, this looks bad. Why would I do it? It's a red― a red herring.
Poisson Rouge ― red fish.
Red herring. This is a distraction; this is wrong.
- READS: Secrets.
(GASPS) Can you find anyone that has this earring?
- I found this note, but I don't actually know if it's part of it or not.
- READS: Thanks for buying my book. I know you're gonna love it.
I'm gonna look for a book. You go downstairs.
Geri Hern.
Geri Hern. Oh, Dr Geri Hern. The All Cookie Diet.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)
- All right, hold on.
I hear that.
Oh, wait. (PHONE VIBRATES)
Karen and...
How do you open a purse?
Karen's got a phone in her...
READS: Go back one tyfe. Guilty Man Carmine Audiology ― hearing.
Hearing. What's to do with hearing?
- Red herring. Another red herring. Red earring. Red herring.
(BOX RATTLES) It's a key.
- Oh, there's a key.
- Ray?
I've found some things.
We need to figure this code out first, cos it's got a key in it.
- Paul, are you― Did you make this box?
Is this you? It says, 'Property of Paul Secur―' Is that you? - Yeah.
- Do you have the key? - Uh, no.
- Um, have you looked in the caravan?
- OK, the caravan says 'Paul's Security Services' on it. This feels very relevant.
Oh, there's a VHS player. Is there anything in here? No.
- I wanna look in the shed. I just― I'm confused.
The shed's locked!
- The shed's locked? - Ray, do you have the key?
Ray, do you have that key? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- OK. We're making progress.
READS: Finish the gardens early. - Red herrings. Red herrings.
- OK. (READS) 'I left you a slice in the bread bin.' I already found the bread bin. This is for Secrets.
Ohh.
- What does it say?
- It says, 'Oooh!'
Pss, pss, pss, pss, pss.
Ray, I need your box!
Ray O'Leary? - Yeah, I've got the box.
- You got the box? I've got a key.
I don't know what 'go back one tyfe' is. - Oh, here we go.
Run to the TV. - I feel like it was a red herring, and it was just...
- You think it was a what? - A red herring.
- What does that say on the...?
- 'Lab cam'.
I'm scared. I feel like there's gonna be a jump scare.
- What's that? It's a red herring. - Oh my God, it's a fish.
It was a red herring! - It was a red herring.
- It was a red herring that did it! J'accuse!
- J'accuse red herring. - I've stopped the clock.
- I feel pretty good about that. - Yeah?
- The whole time, I've just been thinking,
so are those biscuits just here for us to have now?
- I took a bite out of that one. - You're vegan. You can't have that one.
- OK, well, Mel will have two biscuits, and I'll watch. - I'll have one biscuit. Don't.
- Well, why can't I watch? You gonna bite it? - Why do you wanna watch?
- Do you wanna― Do you wanna have a biscuit? - Thank you.
- You gonna have a bite? Big, big bite. Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Are you guys liking that?
- Yum. - Good.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Bubbah, Dai and Karen, how do you feel after watching that?
- It was a bit long. (LAUGHTER)
- That looked really fun. But yeah, time-wise, I think we grabbed those points.
- I had the best time. - Oh, don't rub it in, Mel. 'I had the best time.'
- It was easily the most fun task to do of the whole entire season. (LAUGHTER)
- Also, it did take a long time to set up.
And so these three were sort of... (LAUGHTER)
Cos not just all the clues, but also, like, enough cameras to sort of cover the whole property.
- Oh my gosh!
- So joke's on you guys! (LAUGHS)
- Yeah, so there were a lot of red herrings,
but eventually, the clues pointed to the culprit who was also a red herring.
- So have we got any times? - Yes. So, um...
- (GIGGLES)
- So, 22 seconds. Very quick.
17.16 for the other team.
So less quick, but correct.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that the correct bit's important.
Have to be five points for these guys.
(APPLAUSE)
And Bubbah, Dai and Karen ―
one each. (KAREN GROANS, BUBBAH LAUGHS)
(APPLAUSE)
Right, so where does that leave our scores, Paul Williams?
- Out in first with eight points ― Ray O'Leary.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- I've got a terrible thirst, and only a task will quench it.
Let's get on with the show, shall we? - Anything for you, Jeremy.
Roll the clip.
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
Hello, Ray. - Hello, Paul.
- Wonderful to see you.
- Hello, Bubbah. - Hello, Paul.
- Hello, Mel. - Hi, Paul.
- Nice clutch. - What's that? - A clutch of eggs.
- Like a gaggle of geese? - Like a kaleidoscope of butterflies.
- Like a posse of people.
Do you like eggs? - No. I've never enjoyed the taste of eggs.
- I didn't mean to eat. - Just, do I like the concept of eggs?
Yeah?
- It's gonna be like, 'Lay an egg. Your time starts now.'
- READS: 'Roll an egg from the desk and into your locker.
- 'Your feet may not move at the same time as... the egg moves.'
What? (CHUCKLES)
'If the egg breaks...
- '...you must return to the start with a new egg.
'There are only six eggs.
- 'Fewest overall touches wins.
- 'Your time starts now.'
So, I don't actually have a set time. It's not gonna be fastest wins, right?
- No, fewest touches.
(APPLAUSE)
- All right, pretty simple task ―
Rolling an egg from one place to another.
Who have we got first, Paul? - First up, scrambling to complete this task, it's Bubbah andDai.
(CARNIVAL MUSIC)
- DAI LAUGHS: Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Did it break? - It did.
- Bad start.
(THUD!)
- (SQUEALS)
Nope. Didn't break.
- This is insane.
- There's quite a big crack. I think that's broken.
(TENSE MUSIC)
- Aah!
- Rolling it? - Yeah, it's rolling.
How many touches is that? - Yeah, that's― that's one.
- Clocked it.
- Whoa! (LAUGHS)
- Is that still rolling? - Yeah.
- In the air? - Yeah.
Is that not allowed?
- I guess it was kind of rolling in your hand.
(LAUGHTER)
- Whoo-hoo!
(LOCKER DOOR CREAKS)
- Yeah.
- The egg is not broken.
- Well, I did pretty good. - OK.
- Three. - You think that was three? - Yeah. Three touches.
- I think it was more than three. - What, four?
- I think it was more than four.
- Thanks, Paul.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Bubbah, how did you think you went on that task? - Pretty good.
Three touches, as you saw.
- It was 15 touches.
- How did you do it while not moving your feet while moving it into the other hand?
- I... don't know. (LAUGHS)
- So I think she did kind of roll it and then stop and then take some steps.
- And then I moved! - Oh, I see.
- So it wasn't too bad. It wasn't too bad. - So I wasn't moving.
And it wasn't 15 touches. - It was 15 touches.
And that's why the whole sort of feet moving thing doesn't really matter, because,
let's just put it this way, no one touched it more.
(LAUGHTER)
- Dai, you found a tray.
- Tray, so it was always moving. Then I'd stop it.
- How many eggs did you break, Dai? Do you remember?
- I reckon I broke two eggs or three.
- He only broke two eggs. - OK.
- But 14 touches. - OK.
- Oh, well,waybetter than 15 (!) (LAUGHTER)
- Enough egg breaks. It's time for an ad break.
More of the Taskmaster season four finale after this.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(THEME MUSIC)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back to the finale of Taskmaster ―
the show that asks comedians to publicly humiliate themselves
all for a chance to win some free footpads they could easily by themselves.
Paul, where did we leave off?
- Before the break, our contestants were attempting to roll an egg from
the desk upstairs to their locker downstairs while touching the egg as few times as possible.
So far, we've seen one contestant use the simple method of a tray
and another contestant use the even simpler method of just sort of rolling it around in herhand.
- OK. Who have we got next? - Up next, it's Mel Brace-shell
and Ray O'ver-easy.
O'ver-easy.
- What if I put the egg in something?
For example, put it inside this tennis ball.
It's gonna give it more safety.
- What if I Sellotape the egg inside a roll of Sellotape
and then I'm only touching the Sellotape?
- (GASPS) Oh!
The egg is in there.
- OK, so that's from the desk.
This is the second touch of the egg.
Now, the egg's in this.
Look at that egg roll.
- Might be a little bit more promising.
- Here we go for the first step.
Yes.
Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.
Oh no.
- It's coming from the desk.
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)
It's not going how the test went.
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS)
(LAUGHTER)
- Here we go. Look.
Go, you little beauty, yes.
Straight through to the finish line.
This is beautiful. This is a day for all eggs.
It's under the ribbon; it's through the finish line.
- I'll check if it's broken.
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS)
- No!
No!
(THUD!)
- Oh no!
- I would describe this pig as extremely broken.
- All right.
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS)
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS LOUDLY)
And so, so long as I don't move my feet...
Egg, egg, egg,
egg, egg, egg,
egg. - Egging it on?
- Yeah. Something like that.
(LAUGHTER)
- It's in!
- Here we go, Paul.
Roll, roll through the red ribbon.
(TAPE RIPS)
- I have bad news and good news.
- Oh, don't mess with me, Paul, please.
- Bad news is...
the task is over. - (SIGHS) Thank God.
And the good news?
- You've successfully completed the task.
- That sounds like the same news.
- I've got it.
- It's not broken. - Thank God.
(SIGHS)
Thanks, Paul. - Thank you, Mel.
Thank you, Ray. - Thanks, Paul.
(CRUNCH!)
(AUDIENCE GROANS)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(LAUGHTER, GROANING)
- You freak. (LAUGHTER)
- No one eats eggs?
- Ray, chanting, 'Egg, egg, egg, egg' ―
how did that help? - I felt like, I don't know, giving the egg positive reinforcement
sort of made the shell stronger.
Sort of made me move swifter, quicker, harder,
grungier, p-punker― - OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many touches? - Three touches.
- Mel, I gotta say, very clever. - Thank you.
I was quite scared cos I knew I wasn't physically touching the egg when it was in the ball.
But I was so scared that you would say that that was touching the egg.
So that's why I went for the blow.
- She does bring up an interesting point because, before the egg was in the ball,
she was kind of touching it, but she was wearing some gardening gloves.
- I don't mind if the glove touches count.
- So with the glove touches, her score is four. - Oh. OK, I take it back.
(LAUGHTER)
- Yeah. No, I think you've gotta include the glove touches. I think that's only fair.
But it was a great... - Thank you.
- And the leaf blower ― why did no one else think of the leaf blower?
Or did they, Karen? - Nah.
(LAUGHTER)
- So currently, Bubbah ― 15,
Dai ― 14, Mel ― four,
Ray ― three. - We must have one contestant left, then, Paul.
- That's right, Jeremy. And it's the one and onlyKar-eggO'Leary.
- Do you know if the lockers are attached to the wall?
(LOCKERS SCRAPE)
Oh, where's my one? Oh yeah, there's only half. We can get this up the stairs, surely.
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- So good!
Yeah, that's it ― good.
Just put it there. Nice and close.
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
(CLANG!)
(LAUGHTER)
- It's quite broken. - Nah.
It finished as soon as it touched the thing, and it wasn't broken at that point.
- So you think when it crossed the threshold into the locker―? - That's the task complete.
- It was in the locker? - As soon as it left the table, it was in my locker.
- Is my hand in the locker? - Yep.
- OK. - OK.
- Buckaw!
- Thank you, Karen. - Thank you.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Good. Good thinking.
Good thinking. - For once.
It's about time. It's only episode 10. Whoo-hoo!
I'm in for a comeback.
- So I guess the big question is, where is the threshold of the locker?
- My thoughts were, like, it had entered the locker and broke once in the locker.
- That's one touch. - Thank you.
- So where does that leave the scores, Paul? - That means one point for Bubbah.
Two points for Dai; three points for Mel; four points for Ray,
and five points for Kevin O'Leary! - Thank you.
- I am having a good time tonight. I am ready for another task, Paul.
- This is our last recorded task of the season. - AUDIENCE: Aww!
- So it's time to say goodbye.
(QUIRKY CARNIVAL MUSIC)
- RAY: Oh, good heavens.
What have you set up here?
(PARTY BLOWER HONKS)
- Oh! For me?
(PARTY BLOWER HONKS REPEATEDLY)
- Whoo-hoo! It's a party.
- Oh, my gosh. Thank you.
- Flowers, oh, thank― Oh sorry.
- (SNIFFS) They're lovely.
- Aww, they're plastic.
- Wow. Sausie rolls, chippies,
jelly. There's a whiteboard.
'Farewelanie Melanie'. I like that. - Thank you.
- How are you gonna do that for everyone else?
- 'Farewelanie... Ray?'
(LAUGHTER)
- This is the first time, Paul, I've done what I've been trying to do ―
crack it directly across the seal. - Wow.
- Look at that.
- Congrats.
- What a day to be alive.
- READS: 'Ruin this office leaving party.
- 'Most ruined party wins.
- 'You have 15 minutes.
- 'Your time starts...
'now.'
(APPLAUSE)
- All right, Paul. Show me some festive destruction, will you?
- First up, we're saying bye to Dai and take carey to O'Leary.
It's Dai and Karen.
- This goes against all my instincts, Paul.
- Can you play some really bad music, please?
- OK. What kind of music would you like? - Elevator music would be good.
- Do you want a drink...
of chips?
- Thank you, Dai.
- Yeah, suck a fat one.
- Hey, Paul. Do you want a sausage roll?
- I don't eat meat. - Oh yeah.
Sorry, Mum.
MUFFLED: It's really frozen.
(ELEVATOR MUSIC)
- Turned the cake upside down? - Yeah.
- Children suck.
Sports is for...
losers.
(LAUGHTER)
- Anger's not my strong suit, Paul.
(BANG!)
- Here you go, Paul. That's for you. - Thank you, Karen.
(CRASH!)
- Sorry, man.
- Was that to me or to the table? - Sort of everyone.
- Cheers.
- How much have I got left? - You've got five seconds.
- Three, two...
(CRASH!)
(LAUGHTER)
- (BLOWS WHISTLE)
- Cool party.
- This is the hardest thing I've done in this whole show.
Feel a bit bad.
- AUDIENCE: Aww!
- Thank you, Karen. - Thank you.
- Thank you, Dai. - Thanks, Paul.
(APPLAUSE)
- Dai, you said multiple times that anger wasn't your strong suit.
Yet somehow you managed to tip over a giant metal bench and then throw and office chair into a computer.
- These tasks just didn't suit me.
(LAUGHTER)
Um, that's definitely a sort of one- or two-point situation I think we're working with there.
- Yeah, you ruined a party better than I did. I looked like I was having quite a nice time.
- I know people were quite worried about you eating that frozen sausage roll.
- Yeah. - Did you come up OK after that? - Good as gold.
I eat that kind of stuff all the time. - Oh, good on ya.
And then quite restrained as well, pouring the punch bowl on yourself rather than Paul.
- Maybe it just says a lot about me.
- It's the season four finale of Taskmaster New Zealand,
and we're having a party, but now it's time to ruin it with some ads.
We'll be back after the break. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(THEME MUSIC)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Welcome back and congratulations.
You have successfully tuned into the most important television event of the year ―
the grand final of Taskmaster New Zealand's season four.
Paul, bring us up to speed, would you?
- Our contestants have been ruining parties in destructive and embarrassing ways.
Meanwhile, on Taskmaster,
they have been completing a task where they must ruin an office leaving party.
We've already farewelled Dai and Karen.
Now it's time to sayBub-bye andau Ray-voirto Bubbah and Ray.
- Gosh, I hate this party.
And I've never, ever liked you.
(AUDIENCE GASPS, LAUGHS)
- I felt my nose click. - Yeah.
- I'm just gonna...
(CURIOUS MUSIC)
- You cheating bitch! Why'd you cheat on me?
You think I wouldn't find out?
- Oh, can I crack all of these at once?
Maybe one at a time.
- Take this. It's a ring, isn't it?
- It's not a ring. (CLATTERING)
- You know what? I want you to lick every single one of those.
Liquid's gonna go flying around, OK?
But not towards you. - OK.
- Yeah, good. Here.
- I'm gonna throw some on the computer, OK?
OK?
- Ohh.
(BANG!) - Just replace all this stuff.
Youse got money, but you underpay us!
- Oh, I'm gonna...
Ugh, I shouldn't have stepped in this.
This is actually quite slippery.
(CLANG!)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
Oh no. (CHUCKLES) Oh no.
Oh!
(LAUGHTER)
OK. No, I'm all good. I'm all good, Paul.
- Are you OK? - Mm-hm.
- I'm sorry. It's just all an act to win the task.
I love you.
- I know.
Thank you, Ray. - Yeah, thanks, Paul. Sorry for making such a mess.
- Thank you, Bubbah.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
- You really did ruin that party, Bubbah.
What did Paul cheat on you, by the way, there?
At one point you accused him of cheating on you. - Cos we...
used to sleep together? (LAUGHTER)
- Did you? You and Paul? - Yeah.
Remember? We sixty-nined at Scorpio.
(SHOCKED LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
- You never told me about this. - I have no recollection of that.
- It's too specific to be wrong. (LAUGHTER)
- Where is Scorpio? - Whatever!
(LAUGHTER)
- Ray. - Yes, Paul and I sixty-nined at Scorpio.
(LAUGHTER)
- You kept asking for consent the whole time before you did anything.
And then at the end, you sort of apologised for what you'd done.
- But I think Paul had blown the whistle by then, so we were out of task mode,
and I was just hanging out with my mate with cake on my shoes.
- One stage there, Bubbah really threw that cake into your face. - Yes.
And it was quite a solid cake.
My nose did kind of click quite loudly.
- The way it did when we sixty-nined! (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
- (LAUGHS)
- Are you ready to introduce the next clip?
- I'd love to introduce the next clip, (CHUCKLES) Jeremy.
It's our final goodbye,
and we know she can Bracewell. But can she farewell well?
It's Mel.
- It's so unexpected. I didn't expect a leaving party.
I love― I love presents. So...
A watch.
I never learned how to read an analogue watch,
and you give me a (BLEEP) watch? - You can learn.
- You bastard!
(LAUGHTER)
(GRUNTS)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
(CRUNCH!)
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
I've had enough of this, Paul.
(FLESH SQUELCHES)
- (GRUNTS SOFTLY)
(BREATHES RAGGEDLY)
- No, you're just playing. I didn't actually kill you, did I?
That was a surface wound.
You're being dramatic, Paul.
Paul!
(BREATHES HEAVILY) This can't be happening.
(HONK!)
(LAUGHTER)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CRESCENDOS)
- KAREN: Very good. - Awesome.
Awesome.
- So good.
- So you always knew all along that you were gonna kill Paul, and then you killed Paul.
Then you seemed almost surprised that you killed Paul at one stage.
- It was a tussle that ended in a murder
which is worse than a planned murder going well.
So that's ruining the party more than if I tried to kill Paul and succeeding, and what a fun time.
- OK. - How would you like to score it?
- Ray, I'm gonna give you one point,
cos you were apologising the whole time.
Two points for Karen. She mainly did things to herself.
Dai ― three points. Bubbah ― four points.
And I think, Mel, you have to get five points for that because that went badly wrong.
So there we go. Five points for Mel. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
It's time for our last ad break of the season, so make sure you really make the most of it.
We'll see you soon. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(THEME MUSIC)
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Welcome back to the final part of the final episode of what is,
hopefully not, the final season of Taskmaster in New Zealand.
We've got time for one more task, but before we get to it, let's have an update on the scores,Paul.
- It's incredibly close, Jeremy.
But with a one-point lead on Ray,
in first place ― Mel. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- So, for the final time, please head to the stage for the final task of the show.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
(THEME MUSIC)
OK, Paul, who's reading out the task tonight? - Dai Henwood.
(LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)
- READS: 'Cross behind the screen and disguise your silhouette from the Taskmaster.
'You can use the objects behind the screen to help you, but you must cross one at a time.
'The person who successfully disguises their silhouette the most times wins.'
- Behind the curtain, please. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
First person on my whistle.
(BLOWS WHISTLE)
- Ray.
(LAUGHTER)
Mel?
- I don't have my pants on, so just look away.
(LAUGHTER)
- Bubbah.
(APPLAUSE) - Melanie Bracewell.
(LAUGHTER)
- (SNICKERS)
Dai?
- Bubbah.
(LAUGHTER)
- Karen?
(CHEERING)
This is hard.
Bubbah.
- Karen.
(BALLOON SPUTTERS)
(LAUGHTER)
Dai Henwood.
- Dai.
(LAUGHTER)
Ray.
- Surprise, surprise (!)
- Mel Bracewell.
- Mel.
- Karen O'Leary.
- Bubbah. - Ha ha!
(FOOTSTEPS THUD)
- That's a tough one. - Whew. Dai Henwood.
- Dai Henwood.
(LAUGHTER)
- Ray.
- Karen O'Leary.
(RUSTLING)
- Bubbah?
- It was Bubbah.
- (LAUGHS)
Mel.
- Mel.
- Ray? - I mean, he's really bad at this. - Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
All right, everyone, come on down.
We'll find out who's won the grand finale!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And we'll score the live task.
- So that's one point for Ray.
Three points for Dai and Mel.
Four points for Bubbah, and five points for Karen.
- OK. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- So, where does that leave our episode 10 scoreboard?
- So the winner of episode 10
with 17 points ―
Melanie Bracewell! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Congratulations, Mel. You're now the proud owner of a luxurious prize pack.
Don't use everything at once. In fact, you don't have to use any of it at all.
Go up there and enjoy the spoils.
(APPLAUSE)
So what have we learnt from our finale?
We've learnt that sometimes moving an entire stack of lockers is easier than moving an egg.
And most importantly, we've learnt that the winner of episode 10 is Melanie Bracewell!
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Yes!
Thanks, Jordan.
- And that's the show.
It's been 10 glorious episodes.
We've seen offensive British accents and inoffensive horror films.
We've found true love and kicked it to the kerb.
We've attempted sports, songs and magic.
Our contestants have been humiliated and belittled.
Sure, have had some laughs and made some friends along the way,
but none of that matters now, because it's time to announce the winner of season four.
Paul, would you like to do the honours?
- In fifth place with 136 points ―
Karen O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
In fourth place with 144 points ―
Dai Henwood! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
Three points ahead on 147 ―
in third place, it's Ray O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
In second place with 153 ―
it's Bubbah! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
And you've probably figured it out.
The winner of season four of Taskmaster New Zealand
with 159 points ― Melanie Bracewell! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Congratulations, Mel! Come and get your prize!
There you are. Well done.
Well done, Mel. Congratulations.
- Thank you. - Well done, Mel.
Thank you so much for watching Taskmaster season four.
We'll see you next time.
Well done. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- (LAUGHS)
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Dai.
- Thanks, Ray.
- DAI: Congrats, Mel.
So, so well done. So well done. - Thank you.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - KAREN: Come here. Love you.