1 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,120 - Ooh-hoo-hoo. 2 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:14,400 - My name is Paul Williams. 3 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,720 - Ooh! 4 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:35,296 - Kia or a koutou. Welcome to Taskmaster ― 5 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:40,816 the show that tests just how stretchy comedians' brains can get. 6 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,720 Those comedians are Chris Parker, 7 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,800 Josh Thomson, 8 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,440 Justine Smith, 9 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,040 Kura Forester 10 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,080 and Paulie Ego. 11 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:03,376 They have been doing my bidding on a homestead up north, but they haven't been alone. 12 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,936 My assistant ― and sometimes facial hairdresser ― has been there, 13 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:10,856 making sure they complete the tasks to the best of their abilities. 14 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,200 Please welcome said assistant and scissor man Paul Williams. 15 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:21,376 It's great to be here, Jeremy. And while I do appreciate our studio audience, 16 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:28,000 I would like to take a moment to say hello to everybody who is watching this on TV. 17 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,880 Zoom in, if possible. 18 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,976 Zoom in on me, please. 19 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,896 - You don't― No, no, no. It doesn't work like that. 20 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,016 You administer the tasks. 21 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,496 You don't direct the TV show. 22 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,976 You don't get a zoom in. It doesn't work like that. - OK. Sorry. 23 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,800 - No more of that. - OK. 24 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:50,136 - Let's start with a prize task, please. 25 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:55,816 - Tonight we're looking for the best thing to have on a desert island. 26 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:59,336 - Let's start with you, Justine. What did you bring in? 27 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,016 - Well, Taskmaster, I thought if I'm on a des― desert island. 28 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,216 Sorry, I was gonna say, 'dessert island, ' cos yum. 29 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:11,216 What I would really need and would make me really happy is a tiki bar. 30 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,176 It makes a desert island Yas Island. 31 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,616 - Wow. - Yeah. 32 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:20,576 And what you can't see there is it is fully stacked with vodka and soda. 33 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:24,736 And I'm gonna have a splash of that juice just to be healthy. 34 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,416 - Is there an ice maker? 35 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,936 - If you were stranded on an island, I put to you, Jeremy, 36 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,776 that you wouldn't really give a shit about the ice. 37 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,496 Like, sure, no one likes a warm drink, 38 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,976 but I think we can all agree that a warm drink, better than no drink. 39 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,056 - Totes. - That's her motto. 40 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,656 I've heard her say that before. She keeps saying it. 41 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,416 Yeah, so, I've got that tattooed on my back. 42 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,616 - Paul, what did you bring in? 43 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:53,976 - Well, I'm a guy who is always thinking about where my next meal is coming from. 44 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:59,776 So if I was stuck on a desert island, I'd wanna be making the most of the food that was available. 45 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,616 So I thought a great thing would be to take this... 46 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:06,640 A classic. 47 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:13,336 You know, a New Zealand icon ― the classic Edmonds Cookbook, but the Coconut Edition. 48 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,696 So, it's got all the best coconut recipes. 49 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,576 Like, you've got coconut muffins. 50 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,736 A couple of muffins there. 51 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:26,016 You can make some, obviously, coconut pizza there. 52 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:31,240 And then we finish it off with the classic coconut foo yong. 53 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,096 - Josh, what did you bring in? 54 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:40,056 - Well, I was less interested in having a good time on the island. 55 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,256 I was more interested in staying alive. 56 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:48,976 The human body can survive for three weeks without food, but only three days without water. 57 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:54,336 So I would like to present to you a solar desalination still. 58 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,360 Wow. 59 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:01,280 I've honestly seen one of those before, and I didn't realise that's what it was for. 60 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:07,136 - It looks like a couple of bottles glued together with about a hose coming up the middle, 61 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,336 and that is exactly what it is. 62 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:14,696 And what happens is down the bottom, the dirty water, it evaporates in the sun, goes up to the top one ― 63 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,536 you can see it condensing on the side ― 64 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,576 and it slides down, and it actually fills up the top water bottle. 65 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,656 And it really does work. It's a fun thing that you can build with your kids, sticking them. together 66 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:28,216 - And afterwards, once the kids have gone to bed, this also doubles as a... 67 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,136 Am I right? 68 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,376 - Yeah, you can put bong water in there, and it will still make it come out the top. 69 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,096 It does. It really works. I've done it with tap water. 70 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,776 I've also done it with some dirty water I got from a gutter. 71 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,136 And I've also done it with other stuff. 72 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,016 - Oh my... 73 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,376 - What's that? - Uh, just some other stuff. 74 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,360 Once you get a taste for it... 75 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,936 Is that piss water? 76 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,056 - Not any more. - Ooh. 77 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,136 - Kura... - I also am keen on survival. 78 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:05,040 But like Tom Hanks, I also know that to survive, it's all up here, right. 79 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:09,480 I mean, you've gotta have a pal, so I made a pal. 80 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,496 - Wow. 81 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,360 - Some might call him 'Wilson'. 82 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:18,656 This is... 83 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,056 Wilson. 84 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,936 - Spoiler alert ― we know what happened to Wilson. 85 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:25,960 Yeah. 86 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,336 Sorry. 87 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,696 - Oh, I haven't seen it. 88 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,640 - Oh, he went on to make some of the greatest tennis rackets in the world. 89 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,296 - Chris, what did you bring in? 90 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:42,136 - Well, it's all well and good making yourself drinks or hanging out with that broken volleyball, 91 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:47,440 but I present to you a boat. 92 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,936 And I'm getting the fuck off that island. 93 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:56,296 - So you decided to get off that island using oars, not a sail. 94 00:05:56,320 --> 00:06:01,616 There are so many boats available, Chris. 95 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,696 I spent all my money on that holiday to Rotorua. 96 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:11,296 - I think, Kura, you get one point, because you could've taken anyone. You decided to take an old ball. 97 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:14,776 And also, you spoiled― All these people, most of them haven't seen Castaway. 98 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,496 For Castaway, it's all over for them. - I'll take it, yeah. 99 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,936 - You're right. - It's quite a new film 100 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,736 - Josh, two points for you. Don't wanna drink your own urine. 101 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,416 - You don't have to drink mine; you can drink yours. 102 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:31,336 - I don't wanna drink mine either. - You can drink Paul's. - I don't wanna drink his. 103 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,760 Paul's urine's very sweet. 104 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,576 - I don't even put it through the filter. I just go straight. 105 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:43,080 Yeah, it tastes like sweet navel orange. 106 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:48,096 I imagine that he's more of a lemon and barley sort of a man. 107 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,056 Lemon and barley! 108 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,416 Shall we continue scoring it? 109 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:57,176 - No. What other flavours? Creaming soda, I reckon. - Yeah. 110 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:58,976 - Three points for Paul. 111 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,576 Four points for Chris, because that dinghy's gonna be useless eventually. - Yeah, that's fair. 112 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,976 - And five points for Juzza. - Thank you. 113 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,976 Cos who doesn't want a tiki Bar? 114 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:15,416 Wade out into the lagoon of tasks, please, Paul, and fish me up another one, please. 115 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:21,320 - If you're crossing your fingers for a great task, it's your lucky day. 116 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,657 - Dramatic. 117 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,216 - Ooh. Hi, buddy. 118 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,336 - Hello, P Willy. Great to see you again. 119 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,360 - Cute. 120 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,760 Oh, thank you. 121 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,720 OK. I'm gonna focus on this one. 122 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,296 - This looks really hard. 123 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,176 Complete the fortune trail, then flip five consecutive heads. 124 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,856 Fastest wins. Your time starts now! 125 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,936 Are you feeling lucky, punk? 126 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:55,496 That was a great impression. 127 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,880 - Thank you. 128 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,816 - Right. So, if I'm a stats man, and I am a stats man, 129 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:07,416 I know that flipping five of the same coin tosses in a row is not easy. 130 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:08,736 - It's not, no. 131 00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,656 Do you wanna see how they went? - I'd love to know. 132 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,616 - Up first, there are four of them, like the leaves on a lucky clover 133 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,176 or the fingers on the hand of an unlucky carpenter. 134 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,176 It's Justine, Kura, Chris and Paul. 135 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,656 Either walk under this ladder or put the ladder away in the shed. 136 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,656 Where's the ladder? What ladder? Oh. 137 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,656 - Definitely walking under it. - That's bad luck. 138 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,536 - Oh, mate. I don't believe in that superstitious crap. 139 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,256 - What happens if I get stuck halfway? 140 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:41,096 Either let the black cat cross your path or carry the cat for the rest of the task. 141 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,080 - Oh my God. That's so cute. 142 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:45,257 I'll carry it. 143 00:08:45,281 --> 00:08:46,776 - This has really cheered me up, Paul. 144 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:49,400 - I'm gonna let it cross my path. 145 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,496 Either find the lucky penny or find exactly $13. 146 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,896 - How will I know what the lucky penny looks like? - It looks like a penny. 147 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,736 - I don't really know what a penny looks like, even though I'm quite old. 148 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,416 - One penny. 149 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,456 - One penny. 150 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:03,776 - Yeah. - Whoo! 151 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:04,577 - That's 13. 152 00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:08,856 Either spill the salt or throw the salt container over your shoulder into the bin. 153 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,176 - Spill it? 154 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:11,936 It's bad luck. 155 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,960 - I don't care. 156 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,736 - Damn. That was close. 157 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,416 - Superstition can eat my arse. 158 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:22,216 Either open umbrella inside the caravan or close the 13 umbrellas in the study. 159 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,440 I'm not going to the study. 160 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:26,856 It's open inside. 161 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,056 Final. Flip five heads in a row. 162 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,056 - In a row. 163 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:34,136 - Fuck. - You're an arsehole. Anyone ever told you that? 164 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:36,256 - One... - What was the alternative? 165 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,416 - There's no alternative. - No. 166 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,736 One. 167 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,896 Two. 168 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,296 - Two. 169 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,296 Three. 170 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,016 - Four. 171 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,017 - One. - One. 172 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:47,040 - Two. - Two. Three. 173 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,496 Tails. What would you say to Lady Luck right now? 174 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:52,496 - Fuck ya, bitch. 175 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,736 - Oh, it fell off. Doesn't count. Still on four. 176 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,760 - Five. 177 00:09:57,800 --> 00:09:58,657 - Five. 178 00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,816 - Five! 179 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,840 - Five. - Yes! 180 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,896 - Wahoo. 181 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:05,656 Ow. Shit. 182 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:11,480 - Are you worried about the bad luck? - Nah. Superstition's for cucks. 183 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,696 - Paul, I was watching you there, and you didn't seem to worry about anything other than the salt. 184 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,056 Any reason for that? - Yeah. 185 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,016 You know, it's becoming fairly evident that I always choose 186 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,136 the easiest and the most logical thing to do. - Is it? 187 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:34,336 - So as a 6'5" man, I should definitely go under a ladder rather than walk around it. 188 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:40,536 And then I should definitely try and throw a thing of salt behind my head exactly into a bin 189 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,256 rather than just pouring some on to the ground. 190 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,456 And then when given the option of having 400 coins, 191 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:52,096 rather than find an obvious penny, I should try and count exactly $13. 192 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,016 - About that... - Mm. 193 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,240 - He counted $6.45. 194 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:03,720 Yeah, so he did complete the course and flip the five heads in 5.10. 195 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,216 - Oh, that was quick. - But he did skimp on the $13. 196 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:11,416 So close to 6.50, which is half of $13. 197 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,096 - I think you should drop down one place. - OK. 198 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,400 - How did everyone else go? - Justine ― 8.51. - Mm-hm. 199 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,496 - Kura ― 14.27. - Whoa. 200 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,320 - Oh, and Chris, in a speedy 4.5 minutes. - Wow. 201 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,496 - That's good, man. - Chrissy Boo. 202 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,296 - Only took him 27 flips to get the five heads. 203 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,217 - Wow. - Wow. 204 00:11:33,241 --> 00:11:36,056 - Which actually isn't even the fastest. Paul did it in 12. 205 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,456 - Wow. - What?! 206 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:39,096 - Justine ― 39. 207 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,416 Not too fair off the pace. 208 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,520 And Kura ― 86. 209 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:51,496 - Well, we've seen four coin-flippers finish the task, which means there is only one more to go. 210 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:56,200 But as luck would have it, we've got a series of ads to watch first. We'll see you back after this. 211 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:09,616 - Welcome back to Taskmaster, where are a couple of Pump bottles and Josh Thomson's purse is on the line. 212 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,136 What is happening, Paul? 213 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:16,256 - Our contestants have been tasked with completing a trail of superstitions 214 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,896 before flipping five heads in a row on a coin. 215 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,496 Fastest wins. 216 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,296 - And with four down, there's only one person left, isn't there? 217 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,176 - This guy knows about luck; he's married to the luckiest woman in the world. 218 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,576 - Aw. - It's Josh Thomson. 219 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,600 - Love you, Liz. 220 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,360 There's a little string here. 221 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:46,176 I'm not superstitious. What could go wrong? 222 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,736 - Car crash on the way home. 223 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,056 - Jesus Christ. 224 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,776 Basically, it's are you lazy or do you wanna do a lot of walking? 225 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,136 I could've told you from the start. 226 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:59,416 - Standard flipping, please, into the hand, and no cheating. Just flipping. 227 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:00,736 - The hell are you talking about? 228 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,816 That's one? - Yes. 229 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,840 - Two. Three. 230 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,880 - No. - Piss! 231 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,216 I believed. I believed. 232 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,360 - Four. 233 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,000 Tails. 234 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,496 - Tails. 235 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,016 Tails. 236 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,776 - Three. - Three. 237 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,696 Four. 238 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,800 - Piss! Piss! Kiss my ass! 239 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,376 - It's tails. 240 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,400 - Thank you. - Tails. 241 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:32,720 Tails. 242 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,576 Tails. Tails. You want five heads in a row. 243 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,600 - Ooh. Thank you - OK. 244 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,840 Four. 245 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,096 - Tails. 246 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,120 - Aargh! 247 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,496 Sorry. 248 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,136 I've lost the use of my thumb. 249 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,160 - Four. 250 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,416 I think I've just gotta chill out. I'm just a chilled out guy. 251 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,496 - Tails. - Hm. 252 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:07,176 This what you wanna do? You wanna do this until the end of the day? 253 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,576 - Tails. - Piss! 254 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,816 - Tails. - Ooh. 255 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:13,536 - Tails. - If you give me five tails, man, I'll put this in my bum. 256 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,816 - Heads. - It's a big coin. 257 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,840 - Four. 258 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,080 Five. 259 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:28,896 - I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't ready for it. Shh. 260 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:34,496 Press the thing. - I've stopped the clock. - I don't know how to feel. 261 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,520 I don't know how to feel. 262 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,976 I might have done a little mistake in my pants. 263 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,440 I guess it was just bad luck. 264 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,176 I don't ever remember doing this. I can go now, right? 265 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:47,976 - Yeah. You've done it. 266 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,880 Thank you, Josh. - Thank you, Paul. 267 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,016 - Beautiful. - Oh. Goodness me. 268 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,736 So amazing. 269 00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,376 - That was a truly spiritual experience. - Mm. It really was. 270 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,456 - I bet you're a changed man. - I felt like I was there for quite a― 271 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:07,776 I'm not usually that quick to, sort of, breaking tables, but... 272 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,496 - He was very quick through the course. Struggled with the flipping part. 273 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:13,600 20.10. 274 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,600 145 flips. 275 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,536 No. 276 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:22,576 - Also worth noting that if anyone had put the ladder away in the shed 277 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:28,800 or closed the umbrellas in the study, they would have found this. 278 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:34,336 A lucky, two-sided coin, with heads on both sides. 279 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,360 - Lucky none of us did it. 280 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,696 Aargh! 281 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,656 - Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. Let it out. - Aah! 282 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,256 - Let it out. - Come on, mate. 283 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,336 He's been letting it out all series. 284 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,176 - That would be one point for Josh. - Yup. 285 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,376 - Two for Kura. - Yeah. 286 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:58,576 Three for Paul, four for Justine, and five points for Chris Parker. 287 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,816 - Well, after that transcendent coin-flipping experience, 288 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,816 I can't imagine what other heights we can achieve. 289 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,016 What's our next task, Paul? 290 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:11,120 - Task snobs may turn up their nose at this one, but it'll get bums on seats. 291 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,416 Hello, Chris. - Hello, Paul. 292 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,440 - Ye olde telephone box. 293 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,480 - Wow. This is very Doctor Who. 294 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,376 - Doctor who? - Yeah, Doctor Who. 295 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,336 - Which doctor, though? - What? - Which doctor? 296 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:32,376 - Not a witch doctor. - No. 297 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,136 - What doctor? - I can see what you're doing, Paul, 298 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,600 and I simply cannot be bothered engaging. Um... 299 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:44,456 Transform into an original superhero and save Paul. 300 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,456 Best new superhero wins. 301 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,896 You have one hour. Your time starts now. OK. 302 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,920 - What's wrong? - Ooh. 303 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:57,096 I like the ones where I don't have to use any energy. - You don't have to use energy? 304 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,696 - No. 305 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,376 I've gotta bring the noise. 306 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:04,056 - Maybe, like, a superhero that teaches you how not to be annoying. 307 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,096 It's, like, a manners superhero. - OK. 308 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,016 - I save you from being a dickhead. 309 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,096 - What's, like, an animal that we can base it on? 310 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,816 You know, it could be part of his back story. 311 00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,816 Dove Man? Pigeon? Goose? The geese? 312 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,456 - You could be in trouble, and I could save you from something. - Mm. 313 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:23,536 I could be, like, enjoying some snacks. - Yeah, it's not very perilous. 314 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,776 Unless you've got, like, an allergy, and I stop you eating nuts. 315 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:29,096 Allergy Man. 316 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,120 Intolerance Guy. 317 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,816 - I'm thinking a New Zealand theme. 318 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:39,720 White. Good. The dairy industry ― backbone of the country. 319 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,360 - Did I put too much― I put too much on my eye, eh, Paul? 320 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,056 It's in my eyes. 321 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:54,456 - You know, I've gotta overcome a fear, or something, or something that a goose would be afraid of. 322 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:57,416 What a geese afraid of? - Do you want me to look that up? - Yeah. 323 00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,816 Grape Kool-Aid keeps geese away. 324 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,840 - Like Ribena. 325 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,120 OK. It's... 326 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,816 It's on the tight side. 327 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,896 Is that all the way up, that zip, or is there still a little bit of my back showing? 328 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,376 - And how are your eyes? - One of them is a lot better than the other. 329 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,336 - OK. - Yeah, I've kind of lost depth of perception. 330 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:28,256 - Right. Not many people talk about that as one of the other negative side effects of black face. 331 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,936 - Yeah, oh. 332 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,336 It's not black face; it's just black eyes. 333 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,056 Cos I― Superman had it. Ba― Blatman. Bla― 334 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:41,680 Sorry. Batman had black rings around his eyes. It's not black face. 335 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,736 - Some reasonably dubious costume choices there. 336 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:50,096 I don't know if I'm more offended by Paul's back... 337 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,056 - or your black face. - Oh, goddammit. 338 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:57,640 - Christ, if you think my back was bad, you should've seen my neck, my pussy and my crack. 339 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,936 Couldn't put that in. 340 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,776 - Actually, Paul, I think in that outfit, we did see all of that, to be fair. 341 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,376 - Some really revealing camera work. - Yeah, yeah. 342 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:13,416 - What an hon our to be able to see Josh and Paul's penises in this episode. 343 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:16,176 - OK, Paul, whose heroics do we get to see first? 344 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:21,056 - It's Peter Parker's less talented brother Chris Parker. 345 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:25,616 Life as a superhero can be a bit of a wild goose chase. 346 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,736 Sometimes you just feel like you're playing a game. 347 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,576 Sometimes you're a duck. 348 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,680 Sometimes you're a duck. 349 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,696 Sometimes... 350 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,720 you're the goose. 351 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,136 Paul was the only man I ever loved. 352 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,336 I formed a bond to him as a little gosling. 353 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:47,360 And he made love to me. 354 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,760 And I made love to him. 355 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:52,840 Paul! 356 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,256 I swore I was never gonna be a superhero again. 357 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:01,760 That is, until the Taskmaster messed with my Paul. 358 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,400 The Taskmaster. 359 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,376 The poo lakes! 360 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,400 Paul! 361 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:15,816 Paul! 362 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,296 Not the poo lake. 363 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,120 Ribena ― my mortal enemy. 364 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,320 How will I save you? 365 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,216 My goose lasso. 366 00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,640 Take a hold of my goose lasso. 367 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:35,200 Have you got it, Paul? - Yeah. 368 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,880 - Hold on tight, Paul. This is gonna hurt. 369 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,816 Take my hand. 370 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,016 Paul, don't die. 371 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,120 Don't die in the poo lake. 372 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,400 I've got you, Paul. 373 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,680 Curse you, Taskmaster! 374 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,056 OK. 375 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,376 Let's go back to my goose nest. 376 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,296 - Brilliant. - So good. 377 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,376 - So, let me get this straight. 378 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:17,296 I had pushed Paul into the poo lake, on a paddle board. 379 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,016 Why was he in the poo lake? 380 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:24,616 - Oh, look, this is the thing with these modern superhero movies. The story doesn't really matter. 381 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,776 It's more about that edgy vibe. 382 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:31,280 And that had lots of edgy vibe. 383 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,936 - Well, much like your local cinema, we've even more superhero films to show. 384 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:41,960 So who's saving you next, Paul? - His middle name is Alter. It's Paul Ego. 385 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,976 Help me. 386 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,200 I'm calcium-deficient. 387 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,456 I have very weak bones. 388 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:57,080 - It is I Milk Man ― New Zealand's foremost agricultural super hero ― and I hear a cry for help. 389 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,136 I shall pursue. 390 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:05,440 Forgot my trusty sidekick Moovin. Like Marvin, but with 'moo'. 391 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:20,736 I am Milk Man. I've come to save you, calcium-deficient weakling. 392 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:21,657 Here. 393 00:22:21,681 --> 00:22:25,896 Hop aboard my trusty steed Moovin and we shall ride to safety. 394 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,920 And we're off. 395 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:33,736 We don't appear to be moving. 396 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:37,256 - We could just walk. - We could walk. Let's walk. 397 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,560 I guess we milked that exit. 398 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,520 - Is that an expression? - Yeah nah. 399 00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,336 - Moovin had a few problems. Your trusty steed― - Yeah, yeah. 400 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:50,816 - ...wasn't so trusting there at the end. 401 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:55,136 - He wasn't moo-ving very well. No, no, no. I probably should've given him some milk as well. 402 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,696 I don't even know if cows like milk. 403 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:03,736 Like, if a cow drank some milk, would they just go, 'Is that Dave?' 404 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:07,376 It's like Josh drinking his own piss. 405 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,696 - Superhero stories are only made better by keeping people in peril, 406 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:15,560 so we're gonna leave you clinging to the rooftop for a commercial break. We'll see you in a moment. 407 00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:26,316 - Welcome back to Task Master ― lovely to have your company ― 408 00:23:26,340 --> 00:23:31,116 where we've been hanging out in Justine's tiki bar and having a couple of room temperature mojitos 409 00:23:31,140 --> 00:23:34,476 and some of Paul's coconut foo yong. 410 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,796 What else are we doing, Paul? 411 00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:41,236 - Currently, the task is to create a brand new superhero and save me from danger. 412 00:23:41,260 --> 00:23:43,756 - Who's transforming in front of our eyes now, Paul? 413 00:23:43,780 --> 00:23:45,676 - It's Josh Thomson. 414 00:23:45,700 --> 00:23:48,836 What a beautiful outdoor breakfast buffet. 415 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,860 I might have some... 416 00:23:52,740 --> 00:23:55,820 Can't remember what I'm allergic to. 417 00:24:36,940 --> 00:24:38,196 Nuts. 418 00:24:38,220 --> 00:24:38,997 - What? 419 00:24:39,021 --> 00:24:41,020 - Nuts and most legumes. 420 00:24:41,740 --> 00:24:43,636 You'll get anaphylactic shock. 421 00:24:43,660 --> 00:24:46,436 - Oh. Thank you, Intolerance Man. 422 00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:48,460 - Yeah. 423 00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:57,676 - OK. Let's unpack that. - Mm-hm. 424 00:24:57,700 --> 00:25:01,556 So, you live in a pile of leaves. 425 00:25:01,580 --> 00:25:05,636 - Yeah. - Why do you not live in your car? 426 00:25:05,660 --> 00:25:07,660 - Yeah, I mean... 427 00:25:10,260 --> 00:25:12,996 - I don't like to question the motives of Intolerance Man. 428 00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:15,196 He might've been looking for funguses or fungi 429 00:25:15,220 --> 00:25:19,156 to figure out what other people might be allergic to on the forest floor. 430 00:25:19,180 --> 00:25:22,356 Or he may not have thought it through. 431 00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:27,076 - Let's get to another saving, eh, Paul. - It's a bird. It's a plane. 432 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:31,396 I should stop getting distracted by what's up there, because our next contestant, she's just over there. 433 00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:33,916 It's Kura Forrester. 434 00:25:33,940 --> 00:25:37,036 Hi there. My name's Dr DickSaver. 435 00:25:37,060 --> 00:25:43,556 Today, I'm offering you a special deal for nine easy payments for $48.50. 436 00:25:43,580 --> 00:25:47,876 I'm gonna save you from being a dickhead and doing dickheadish things, 437 00:25:47,900 --> 00:25:50,540 such as eating too loudly... 438 00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:56,276 - He's saved. 439 00:25:56,300 --> 00:25:58,300 ...litterin'... 440 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:02,316 Excuse me, sir. Is that your litter? - Yes. 441 00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:04,340 - Try again. 442 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:09,036 Saved. 443 00:26:09,060 --> 00:26:10,396 ...being a know-it-all... 444 00:26:10,420 --> 00:26:12,716 - I've read all of these books. 445 00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:13,717 - Fuck off. 446 00:26:13,741 --> 00:26:14,956 ...and whinging. 447 00:26:14,980 --> 00:26:17,716 - I'm very tired, and I feel very sick. 448 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:18,956 - Shut up. 449 00:26:18,980 --> 00:26:22,276 Call this number now and you'll be saved. 450 00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:24,276 - Thanks, Dr Dickhead. 451 00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:25,316 Sorry. 452 00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:27,420 Thank you, Dr DickSaver. 453 00:26:29,700 --> 00:26:30,756 So stupid. 454 00:26:30,780 --> 00:26:32,716 - So, Kura saved― 455 00:26:32,740 --> 00:26:34,276 Sorry. Dr... 456 00:26:34,300 --> 00:26:37,116 - DickSaver. - ...DickSaver, saved you from... 457 00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:38,516 - Eating loudly. - Yeah. 458 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:40,116 - Littering. - Littering. - Yeah. 459 00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,916 Being a geek. Reading too many books. 460 00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:46,540 Whingeing about feeling sick. 461 00:26:47,460 --> 00:26:51,636 God. Can't stand that shit. 462 00:26:51,660 --> 00:26:55,516 - OK, Paul. Let's get stuck into our final hero. 463 00:26:55,540 --> 00:26:57,196 - She's not Wonder Woman, 464 00:26:57,220 --> 00:27:00,716 - but she does often wonder why women don't get paid as much as men. - Yes, I do. 465 00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:02,796 - It's Justine Smith. - Yes, I do. 466 00:27:02,820 --> 00:27:09,556 It was a calm day on the seas when Paul Williams and his ship set out to look for new adventures. 467 00:27:09,580 --> 00:27:11,980 Suddenly, things got rough. 468 00:27:12,780 --> 00:27:14,780 The sea got churny. 469 00:27:15,020 --> 00:27:18,116 There was hail. It was a terrible, terrible storm. 470 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:22,556 The storm was mighty, and Paul was frightened, but he didn't say no. 471 00:27:22,580 --> 00:27:26,276 He just carried on through the storm, hoping there'd be shelter. 472 00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,756 But all was not lost for Captain Paul, 473 00:27:28,780 --> 00:27:33,980 for here, shining the bright beacon of safety, was Reef Juzzy. 474 00:27:34,420 --> 00:27:36,940 Reef Juzzy had saved many a man 475 00:27:37,220 --> 00:27:41,220 with her bright, burning torch of... 476 00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:44,116 safety. 477 00:27:44,140 --> 00:27:46,140 Paul, it's me. 478 00:27:46,660 --> 00:27:48,076 Reef Juzzy. 479 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:50,580 You're safe. I have saved you. 480 00:27:50,860 --> 00:27:54,436 Come, Paul. Come with me and let me you save. 481 00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:57,316 Come on. Come on, mate. OK. OK. 482 00:27:57,340 --> 00:27:59,340 Oh. Watch your balls. 483 00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:04,236 Here we are, Paul. You and I safe forever on a desert island. 484 00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:08,516 Feel safe, Paul? - Um, yeah. I was cramping quite badly. 485 00:28:08,540 --> 00:28:11,980 - Oh, I saved you from that. - OK. - And from the storm. 486 00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:15,876 - We need to clarify something. 487 00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:19,916 You almost performed the role of a lighthouse. 488 00:28:19,940 --> 00:28:26,116 - Yes, that is what I was going for. But you know, Paul, he was in a rough space. 489 00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:28,636 He was getting water chucked on him. 490 00:28:28,660 --> 00:28:33,316 And then I gave him a little cuddle. That's always a nice, little addition to being saved. 491 00:28:33,340 --> 00:28:38,020 - He was so into it too. - He went rigid with love. 492 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:42,516 Had a lighthouse of his own. 493 00:28:42,540 --> 00:28:47,516 - This is quite a difficult one to judge because I think there are two different components 494 00:28:47,540 --> 00:28:49,076 to this particular task. 495 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:54,116 There's the original superhero part, and then, I think, there's the Saving Paul part. 496 00:28:54,140 --> 00:28:57,396 So I'll give out points for your original superheroes, 497 00:28:57,420 --> 00:29:00,476 and then I'll give points for who saved Paul. 498 00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:06,316 - I thought Reef Juzzy was probably one point for that superhero. - Aw. 499 00:29:06,340 --> 00:29:09,156 - The milk man was two points. - OK. 500 00:29:09,180 --> 00:29:13,036 - Cos I don't think Fonterra need a lot of help promoting themselves at this point in time. 501 00:29:13,060 --> 00:29:16,420 - They're struggling, man. I'll tell you what, that almond is going through the roof. 502 00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:21,316 - Dr DickSaver, three points. - OK. - Beautiful originality. 503 00:29:21,340 --> 00:29:24,276 - Four points for the goose. - Thank you. 504 00:29:24,300 --> 00:29:26,940 - And I thought five points for Intolerance Man. - Yeah, fabulous. 505 00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:30,716 - But then we have the saving part of it. 506 00:29:30,740 --> 00:29:35,836 In terms of what Intolerance Man did, I thought an allergy is not such a bad thing. 507 00:29:35,860 --> 00:29:40,116 - So one point for your saving. - Oh. Allergies are no joke, mate. 508 00:29:40,140 --> 00:29:43,596 - Two points for the goose, because I think, you know, what was Paul doing? 509 00:29:43,620 --> 00:29:45,996 He was gonna get some faecal matter on him. - Yeah. 510 00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,316 - Which is not too bad. 511 00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:50,396 Three points for stopping Paul from being a dickhead. - OK. 512 00:29:50,420 --> 00:29:52,276 Was unsuccessful. 513 00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,996 And... 514 00:29:54,020 --> 00:29:57,156 four points for calcium-deficiency, cos I think that's quite a― 515 00:29:57,180 --> 00:29:59,596 Osteoporosis ― an important issue. - Sure. OK. Thank you. 516 00:29:59,620 --> 00:30:02,556 - And five points, Juzzy, on the reef for the drowning. 517 00:30:02,580 --> 00:30:04,556 And drowning is a serious thing. - Very serious. 518 00:30:04,580 --> 00:30:07,460 - So, I think if you add those up... 519 00:30:07,780 --> 00:30:11,556 - everyone gets six. - Yay. 520 00:30:11,580 --> 00:30:13,756 - Thanks, Dad. - Thanks, Dad. 521 00:30:13,780 --> 00:30:15,556 - How are the episode scores going, Paul? 522 00:30:15,580 --> 00:30:21,180 - In first equal with 15 points. - It's Chris and Justine. 523 00:30:22,700 --> 00:30:28,356 - It's time for a break so I can call up some Hollywood bigwigs and get Reef Juzzy II green-lit. 524 00:30:28,380 --> 00:30:30,620 We've got even more tasking ahead. We'll see you shortly. 525 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:44,136 - Welcome back to Taskmaster, where these five comedians are competing to win a boat and an Edmonds Cookbook. 526 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,096 Paul, it's time for a task. 527 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:51,520 - This task was an elaborate way for me to get some pats on the back. 528 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,056 - No Paul. How weird. 529 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,216 - He's left his bloody plinth here. 530 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,376 - This attractive path has been soiled by a plinth. 531 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:09,400 - This is like a weird version of The Bachelor, or something. 532 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,616 Pat Paul on the back. Paul is on the balcony. 533 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:18,856 If Paul films you on his all-the-way zoomed-in camera, 534 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:23,896 he will yell your name, and you must return to the mat and start again. 535 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,856 Every eight seconds, music will play for four seconds. 536 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,296 - When the music plays, Paul must film his feet. 537 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,176 - OK. Right. So, move when the music plays. 538 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,880 Fastest wins. Your time starts now. 539 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,656 - Who gets to try and touch you first? 540 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:45,160 - It's our South Island contingent ― Justine, Josh and Chris. - Ooh. 541 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,456 - Justine, I can see you. 542 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,560 I can see you, Chris. - Damn it. 543 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,920 - Chris, I can see you behind that tree. - Damn it. 544 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:08,520 Fuck. 545 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,736 - I can see you, Josh. 546 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,760 I see you. Yeah. 547 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,480 I heard something over here. 548 00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:24,120 Back to the mat, please. - I'll make my way back. 549 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,200 - It's a sexy tree. 550 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,640 - I'm hearing footsteps. 551 00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,016 I have no idea. It sounded like she was over there. 552 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,040 Where is he? 553 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,440 Sounded like a curtain. 554 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,576 - She's close. Definitely right here. 555 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:18,856 - Ooh! - Aah! 556 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,360 - I'm scared. I'm very scared. 557 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,160 Yes! 558 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,816 Oh my God. 559 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,840 It was me. 560 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:38,496 At one point, I was behind those two sticks. 561 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,920 - Oh, wow. - But you were looking out here. 562 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,896 - Justine, excellent camouflage there, hiding behind two stakes, 563 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,896 and then throwing yourself at the railing. 564 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,096 - I stopped behind those two sticks. I went, 'Oh, here we go.' 565 00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:54,016 And then Paul was just like... 566 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,936 And I couldn't believe my luck, actually. - Amazing. 567 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,896 - And then up on the balcony. I mean... - I know. I know. 568 00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:04,016 And I was literally like, 'I'm gonna have to go all the way back, ' and I was so close. 569 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:08,176 And then stupid, old Paul wasn't even looking. 570 00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:13,336 - Who else do we have to see scrambling across the lawn towards your awaiting nape, Paul? 571 00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:17,040 - It's a pair of sneakers; it's Kura and Paul. 572 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:20,296 I can see you, Kura. 573 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,376 Goddammit. 574 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,856 - I can see you behind the tree. 575 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,096 I can see you. I can see you in the trees. 576 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:27,977 - Dammit! 577 00:34:28,001 --> 00:34:29,856 - I can still see you. 578 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,856 I can see you, Paul, behind the tree. 579 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:32,976 - Aargh. 580 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,456 - I can see you, Kura. You're just standing. 581 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:36,496 I can see you, Paul. 582 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,736 - This Rambo shit is overrated. 583 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,816 - I can see you, Kura, behind that tree. 584 00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:42,136 - Stop looking! 585 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,816 - It's part of the task. 586 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,136 I can see you, Paul. 587 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,296 - Ooh. 588 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:47,800 Back to the mat. 589 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,736 I can see you. 590 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:10,296 No! 591 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,056 - Are you OK? - No. 592 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:13,416 - What's wrong? 593 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,856 - I'm tired. 594 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,616 - I've gotta return to the mat, so why don't I just take the mat with me? 595 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:20,480 It doesn't say the mate has to stay here. 596 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,576 - I can see you, Paul. You're just standing there. 597 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,136 - Yeah, I've just returned to the mat. 598 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,160 - OK. You've moved the mat. - Yeah, I'm on the mat. 599 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,496 - Hello. - Hello. Oh, I'll just return to the mat. Hang on. 600 00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:39,520 - OK, thank you. 601 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:41,536 What the―? 602 00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,440 There's a car, but I can't see Kura. 603 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,040 Too glary. 604 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,736 - Oh, I can see you. 605 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,136 - Yeah. Hang on. I'll just return to the mat. 606 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,560 - OK. Thank you. - No worries. 607 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,200 - A door has opened very close to me. I'm very scared. 608 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,080 Whoa. OK. - Gidday, mate. 609 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,456 - Fuck, it took me forever. 610 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:30,376 - That smile says it all. - Yeah, get that on Candid Camera. 611 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:34,200 - It's all I can get. It's very, very zoomed in. 612 00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:39,136 - Kura, I think the Marines would be very lucky to have. - Oh. 613 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,137 - Paul... - Mm. 614 00:36:40,161 --> 00:36:42,816 - How excited were you when you discovered that little hack? 615 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,816 Oh, I wish I'd discovered it earlier, you know. 616 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,856 I feel like the last five minutes, I really nailed it. 617 00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,336 But I think I may have taken an hour to get to that point. 618 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,176 Cos I'm really heavy, and I'm quite big. 619 00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:59,376 And I was wearing a bright red shirt in a forest. 620 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,296 - So, what were the scores in the end? 621 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:05,056 - Chris touched me in 13.09. - What?! - Whoa. 622 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,056 - Justine ― 9.24. 623 00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,056 - Oh my God. - Juzzy! 624 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:10,936 - So good. 625 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:14,560 - Josh ― 8.45. - Whoa. - Holy shit. 626 00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,136 Paul touched me in 22.21. 627 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,640 And Kura touched me in 44.01. 628 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:24,920 - Oh. - Wow. 629 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,376 - So that's one point for Kura, two points for Paul, 630 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,176 three points for Chris, four points for Justine, 631 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:34,576 and five points for Josh. 632 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:39,096 - It's time for our mandatorily scheduled stop to allow you to go and check out your windows 633 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:42,216 and make sure there's no creepy men in white suits steering at you 634 00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:44,736 on a Handycam from the balcony across the street. 635 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,120 We'll see you after this. 636 00:37:53,380 --> 00:37:55,036 - Welcome back to Taskmaster. 637 00:37:55,060 --> 00:37:59,796 Let's see what the scores are saying as of right now. Thank you, Paul. 638 00:37:59,820 --> 00:38:02,356 - Chris is in second place, with 18. 639 00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:07,836 With a one-point lead, on 19, it's Justine Smith. 640 00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:11,236 - I know you're all positively frothing at the idea of winning, 641 00:38:11,260 --> 00:38:14,236 so let's do a live task to finish the night off. 642 00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:17,940 Head up to the stage, everyone. 643 00:38:20,420 --> 00:38:25,996 That looks like the contents of my pockets after Rhythm & Vines '07. 644 00:38:26,020 --> 00:38:29,316 Let's read out the task. And who are you gonna get to do it, Paul? 645 00:38:29,340 --> 00:38:32,220 - Josh Thomson, please. - Ooh. 646 00:38:33,940 --> 00:38:39,140 Follow the Taskmaster's orders. Most accurate wins. 647 00:38:39,620 --> 00:38:43,340 Your time starts on Paul's whistle. 648 00:38:45,700 --> 00:38:49,356 Put the duck in your left hip pocket. 649 00:38:49,380 --> 00:38:52,900 Put the onion in your right chest pocket. 650 00:38:54,580 --> 00:38:57,780 Hold the pencil in your right hand. 651 00:38:58,500 --> 00:39:02,580 Put the ping-pong ball in your left chest pocket. 652 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:06,580 Put the keys in your right hip pocket. 653 00:39:09,220 --> 00:39:14,620 Swap the item in your left pocket with the item in your right hand. 654 00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:18,996 - Which left of pocket? - Which left of pocket? - Ooh. 655 00:39:19,020 --> 00:39:20,356 - I've already done it. 656 00:39:20,380 --> 00:39:24,860 Swap over the two items in your chest pockets. 657 00:39:25,500 --> 00:39:29,900 Return the item in your right hip pocket to the table. 658 00:39:31,580 --> 00:39:36,580 And hold the item from your left hip pocket in your left hand. 659 00:39:37,380 --> 00:39:41,836 Put the item from your right chest pocket in your mouth 660 00:39:41,860 --> 00:39:47,236 and the item from your right hip pocket into your left hip pocket. 661 00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:51,236 Put the item from your left chest pocket in your right hand 662 00:39:51,260 --> 00:39:55,860 and swap over the lightest item with the heaviest item. 663 00:39:56,300 --> 00:40:00,396 Put the item on the table in your right chest pocket 664 00:40:00,420 --> 00:40:03,876 and the item in your mouth in your left chest pocket. 665 00:40:03,900 --> 00:40:07,396 And then finally, put the item from your right hand into your right hip pocket. 666 00:40:07,420 --> 00:40:10,916 - Sorry. What was the last― And then take each item from the pockets on your left side 667 00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:13,996 and swap them with the item in the corresponding pocket on your right side. 668 00:40:14,020 --> 00:40:16,020 The end. 669 00:40:19,780 --> 00:40:23,236 - Are those all your instructions? - Those are all of my instructions. No more instructions from me. 670 00:40:23,260 --> 00:40:26,516 Why did we have to wear overalls? 671 00:40:26,540 --> 00:40:27,996 - Pockets? 672 00:40:28,020 --> 00:40:32,076 - Oh, pockets. - Pockets, yeah, pockets. 673 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:35,236 I was just gonna wait for you to get that one yourself. 674 00:40:35,260 --> 00:40:36,356 - Whoo! 675 00:40:36,380 --> 00:40:38,676 - OK. Shall we check how they did? - Yeah. 676 00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:40,700 - In your left hand, 677 00:40:41,140 --> 00:40:42,316 you should have... 678 00:40:42,340 --> 00:40:44,820 a pencil. 679 00:40:46,980 --> 00:40:49,636 In your right hand, you should have... 680 00:40:49,660 --> 00:40:50,597 nothing. 681 00:40:50,621 --> 00:40:52,436 Ooh. 682 00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:54,036 - Nice, Josh. - Well done. 683 00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:57,676 - In your left chest pocket, you should have... 684 00:40:57,700 --> 00:40:58,876 a duck. 685 00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:00,900 Oh no. 686 00:41:01,780 --> 00:41:03,596 - I got nothing. - No one got that one. 687 00:41:03,620 --> 00:41:06,156 Put that back in, please. Put it away. 688 00:41:06,180 --> 00:41:09,556 In your right chest pocket, you should have― 689 00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:12,156 Paul, which one of those was in your right chest pocket? 690 00:41:12,180 --> 00:41:14,380 Both of them. 691 00:41:14,660 --> 00:41:17,716 - Well, you were correct with one of them ― your keys. 692 00:41:17,740 --> 00:41:19,716 - Oh, piss! 693 00:41:19,740 --> 00:41:24,036 - In your lower left pocket, you were supposed to have an onion. 694 00:41:24,060 --> 00:41:25,396 - Ooh. - Bastards. Shit. 695 00:41:25,420 --> 00:41:28,596 So, Josh had an onion and some keys. 696 00:41:28,620 --> 00:41:30,700 In your right pocket... 697 00:41:31,180 --> 00:41:34,660 Chris, with most of his stuff. 698 00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,236 What you should have in your lower right pocket was a ping-pong ball. 699 00:41:39,260 --> 00:41:41,236 - Yas! - Yeah! - Yeah, boy. Yeah! 700 00:41:41,260 --> 00:41:42,716 - So― - All day! 701 00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:46,196 - Chris, Kura and Paul all had ping-pong balls. 702 00:41:46,220 --> 00:41:49,116 - OK. That's everything. - Whoo! That was fun. 703 00:41:49,140 --> 00:41:51,780 Come on down and let's score it. 704 00:41:54,180 --> 00:41:58,916 Well, that was good fun, wasn't it? Tell me whose oniony mitts took out that task. 705 00:41:58,940 --> 00:42:01,340 - It was actually a tie. - Wow. 706 00:42:01,780 --> 00:42:04,316 - So, Chris got three correct. - Yes. 707 00:42:04,340 --> 00:42:06,716 - Josh got three correct. - Mm-hm. 708 00:42:06,740 --> 00:42:08,876 - Kura got three correct. - Oh. 709 00:42:08,900 --> 00:42:10,876 - Paul got three correct. - Oh, whatever. 710 00:42:10,900 --> 00:42:13,876 - And Justine got two correct. - Ooh. - Aw, Juzzy. 711 00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:17,956 - All right. - Which does mean she was going into it with a one-point lead. 712 00:42:17,980 --> 00:42:21,356 - Yes. - It's a Taskmaster New Zealand first. 713 00:42:21,380 --> 00:42:24,556 We're going to a tiebreaker. 714 00:42:24,580 --> 00:42:27,460 21 points each, Chris and Justine. 715 00:42:27,980 --> 00:42:30,916 Fun! 716 00:42:30,940 --> 00:42:33,956 - The winner of this task wins the episode. 717 00:42:33,980 --> 00:42:39,116 For this task, Chris and Justine were asked to pop the champagne cork as far as possible. 718 00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:44,156 They had two minutes to prepare and pop their cork. Here's how they went. 719 00:42:44,180 --> 00:42:45,876 - Wow. 720 00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:49,436 - Well, it doesn't really matter where I am, does it? It just has to go a long way. 721 00:42:49,460 --> 00:42:52,436 - Wherever you pop from, I'll measure from your feet. - OK, great. 722 00:42:52,460 --> 00:42:56,340 - Think I should get some kind of elevation. OK. 723 00:43:05,980 --> 00:43:08,780 - Keep your feet there. Thank you. 724 00:43:15,540 --> 00:43:17,196 Ooh, that's close. 725 00:43:17,220 --> 00:43:19,156 - So, whose cork went the furthest? 726 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:22,556 Justine popped her cork... 727 00:43:22,580 --> 00:43:26,860 A long time ago. 728 00:43:29,100 --> 00:43:33,476 - Justine's cork went 11.18. 729 00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:34,676 - OK. 730 00:43:34,700 --> 00:43:36,700 - Chris' cork ― 731 00:43:37,580 --> 00:43:39,660 - 16.89m. - Ooh. 732 00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:44,236 - There we go. - It's fine. It's fine. 733 00:43:44,260 --> 00:43:48,876 Winning this episode, ladies and gentlemen ― Chris Parker. 734 00:43:48,900 --> 00:43:50,596 Congratulations, Chris. 735 00:43:50,620 --> 00:43:56,700 Go and get your just desserts and take your desert island goodies from the stage. Please go ahead. 736 00:43:58,700 --> 00:44:00,876 And that ends our episode. 737 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:04,156 We saw a life-changing experience over the flip of a coin, 738 00:44:04,180 --> 00:44:07,516 a revolutionary new treatment for being a dickhead, 739 00:44:07,540 --> 00:44:11,276 and Paul Williams finally getting the pat on the back that he deserves. 740 00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:17,516 But we mostly saw that our winner for episode six is Chris Parker! 741 00:44:17,540 --> 00:44:20,260 Good night, everyone. Po Marie. We'll see you next week. 742 00:44:24,460 --> 00:44:26,060 Drink my piss. 743 00:44:27,540 --> 00:44:29,540 Drink it! Drink it! 744 00:44:32,100 --> 00:44:35,180 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 745 00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:37,916 - Bring in the virgin. 746 00:44:37,940 --> 00:44:41,060 - The sex witch bids you enter. 747 00:44:41,540 --> 00:44:43,340 - Piss. Aargh! Gah! Fuck! 748 00:44:44,340 --> 00:44:45,916 - Goddammit. Goddammit. 749 00:44:45,940 --> 00:44:47,916 - Yes. He is soaking. 750 00:44:47,940 --> 00:44:49,356 - Look how comfortable Paul is. 751 00:44:49,380 --> 00:44:52,960 A lot of that shit was his idea.