- [Nicky] Previously on "Slag Wars."
- Slag, slag, slag, slag, slag, slag, slag, slag!
I need the next generation of cock destroyers to rise up.
I need you to be in there, finding out all the juicy goss,
because I wanna find the top slag.
Matt and Fanny are gonna be my help.
- Welcome, skanks, to the Skank House!
(crickets chirping)
- Fanny, it's slag.
- Oh, I mean, hi, slaggies.
(exciting music)
What do we do when there's cocks around?
- [Contestants] Destroy them!
(exciting music continues)
- Tonight, a revival of Le Cock Cabaret!
(group cheering)
♪ A long time
♪ Scream if you wanna go faster ♪
- Okay, so you might have noticed that
my fellow cock destroyer Sophie isn't here.
I don't know if I can do this.
I mean, am I gonna have the fortitude
that the slags are gonna be expecting
to make the decisions alone?
- You know what? You're gonna kill it this time.
I'm not even worried about it at all. You got this.
- Thanks, Matt, but I don't think I have. I just, honestly.
I just don't know if I can do this.
I'll be really honest.
I've really struggled and I thought long and hard.
- I just got here. Is Rebecca gonna leave?
Nah.
- And I've decided that...
- There's no way she can just abandon us like that.
Like, we've all worked so hard for this.
She can't just leave us.
(suspenseful music)
- Look, I've been in this business a long time,
and one thing I've always known is
you always have to have your next gig lined up.
Thank God I have a lot of marketable skills.
I'm a psychic. You know, I just know stuff.
(dramatic music)
Like, if you're watching this,
you got called the F slur a lot in school.
(dramatic music)
And they were right.
Now, the job I really want,
you guys, this is kind of embarrassing
because I never told anyone this.
Picture this.
Me, Nicky Monet,
the host of a low-budget, niche reality show.
It would be magical!
(dramatic music)
It would be electrifying!
It would be the performance
of my life!
Are we done yet?
(Nicky sighs)
Hello!
Oh, this week, we, oh, who gives a fuck?
♪ Slag Wars, oh
♪ We're the ones you wanna know ♪
♪ Slag Wars, oh
♪ The Cock Destroyers run this show ♪
♪ Slag Wars, oh
♪ We're the ones you wanna know ♪
♪ Slag Wars, oh
♪ The Cock Destroyers run this show ♪
(dramatic music)
- I had to make a decision today and I thought long and hard
and I've decided that
you're damn right I'm gonna stay.
(group cheers)
Oh, thank you.
- What would this have been without her here, you know?
Like, we need her here.
- The slags deserve mentorship,
guidance, pure excellence.
No more Miss Pissy Pants.
I am gonna bring out my Mistress More.
That side that you saw of Rebecca earlier,
you better edit that out,
because I do not want anyone seeing that side of me.
From now on, it's Mistress More or nothing!
Things are gonna change.
You probably all think that there's gonna be eliminations.
I've decided, in light of what's been going on,
we're not gonna do that.
(dramatic music)
We're gonna do a point system.
- [Nicky] Wait, a point system? Is this a joke?
You know I can't count.
- No bitches are going home. I'm so happy about that.
- I've decided to change things up.
There's gonna be no eliminations.
I'm introducing a point system.
More about the point system tomorrow.
So get your beauty sleep
and I'll see you slags tomorrow, okay?
(group cheers) See you.
Let's go.
- Let's go. - Let's go, baby.
I've got so much to show you.
- Oh my God. So much.
- Mistress More is still gonna stay with us.
Nobody's going home. Everything is gonna be okay.
(crickets chirping)
- [Voiceover] Cock-a-doodle-doo!
(exciting music)
(group cheers)
- When I saw Rebecca in the yard, I was so happy to see her.
Like, to know that she's here for us
and that she's gonna help us
just made me feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
- I'm just waiting to hear
what they think about last night's show
and the spectacle that happened.
- What a performance last night.
Sabrina Jade,
your performance was absolutely fabulous.
Athlete puts the E in energy.
There was a lot of tricks in that.
It was a really good way to start off the night.
- Oh my God. Rebecca More likes me.
- Oscar, you gave us super slutty, super sexy.
I was really quite turned on.
- Thank you.
- [Rebecca] Loved it.
- I'm so happy that Rebecca liked my fucking performance
and I feel really horny about it.
- Freyja, I really loved it,
but I could see that you were very nervous
and that's okay.
Going forward, why don't you just fake it 'til you make it?
- You know, I was disappointed with
how things went last night.
Having the feedback was obviously important,
and, you know, it helps you work closer towards your goal
and what you want to get out of this.
- Braxton.
(group chuckles)
- Rebecca, you're such a trendsetter.
You've even designed your own coffin
in the shape of a triangle, of course.
That's because every time your head hits the pillow,
your legs open.
(Rebecca gasps)
- Do you think it's a good idea to insult the judges?
I think it's bloody brilliant. Well done, you.
You're lucky I've got a sense of humor.
- It was a pat on the back kind of moment for me.
- Cocoa, you looked absolutely stunning.
You were super sexy.
You were really engaging with the judges,
and I actually wanted you to whip me,
so next time, you know what to do!
(group laughs)
- Noted.
- Next time, I'll whip you good,
but also, can we just appreciate the fact that
she wants to be whipped by me?
- Damien, you do have a presence about you.
Something about those eyes,
and it was really, really amazing.
- I was, like, so happy,
because performing is what I live for
and what I love in what I do.
- JV Marx, some people probably don't know
whether to laugh or wank when they're looking at you.
All the way through, you had me laughing.
There's just something about you
that is just really, really funny.
- Hearing Rebecca fucking More tell me that I am funny,
and really funny, is like mind-blowing to me.
I don't know how to handle that at all.
- Mama Mamba, this was fabulous.
I absolutely loved your outfit.
You had me pretty worried sometimes,
when I saw that nail going up your nose,
but all the way through, super, super entertained.
I just loved it.
So that leaves us with choosing the winner.
This slag was creative, sexy, confident,
wild, dangerous, and very engaging with the audience.
- [Nicky] Now that she's retired,
Rebecca's picked up adjectives as a hobby.
- Well done, Mama Mamba.
(group cheers)
- Thank you!
(Mama squeals)
So I won the very first main challenge.
Absolutely buzzing about that.
To be honest, like if there's a challenge I was gonna win,
it's probably gonna be that one.
- I absolutely thought that yours
was the most penetrating of all of the performances.
That's for sure.
- I'm still trying to pick my mouth up off the floor.
(Mama laughs)
- That is my bag, so if I didn't do well in that one,
that would've been very embarrassing.
Oops. I've got a hair on my lip.
- [Interviewer] Oh.
- Ew, it wasn't a hair. It was a bug.
(Mama laughs)
Sorry. Can you repeat that?
Did you get that?
(bug buzzes) (whimsical music)
- Slags, I changed the system to it being a point system.
I've awarded Mama Mamba 60 points.
(graphic smooches) (group applauds)
- My goodness.
- JV, because you won yesterday's foreplay challenge,
you've got 55 points.
(group cheers)
That leaves everybody else with 50 points.
Well done. So you've all got 50 points.
Mama Mamba is in the lead.
JV, runner up right now, but you all have a chance
to slag it up and take the winning spot.
(group cheers)
(exciting music)
So are we ready for today's foreplay challenge?
- [Contestants] Yes!
- Slags, AI is taking all of our jobs,
including cock destroyers,
so I am getting into the robot game.
- Yeah. - Woo!
- Ahead of my time.
I have hired some top scientists
to build me the perfect twerking robot called Twerky.
- [Robot] Twerk for me, slags.
- Seeing Twerky here on earth
really brought me peace and reminded me of my home planet.
- We wanna test all of your twerking stills,
and my friend Twerky
is gonna help take it to the next level for us.
- [Twerky] Yes, I will, mistress.
- [Contestants] Ooh.
- Did somebody say twerking?
I have to be good at this. This is what makes me money.
Like, you don't see me in the club doing the robot.
- I can't twerk. It's not my strongest quality whatsoever.
- Slags, are you ready?
- [Contestants] Yeah!
- [Rebecca] Yeah? Then get your twerk on!
- This shakes and jiggles, but do it twerk?
I'm not so sure.
♪ He said twerk some for a real one ♪
♪ He wanna see that pussy jiggle and then some ♪
♪ It's the weekend so you know we got plenty of time ♪
♪ Put on a show, yeah, baby girl, get in line ♪
♪ Expensive tastes so you know we get ahead ♪
(lasers whooshing)
(exciting music)
- [Rebecca] It's like a twerk-gasm.
- My ass is ready. It's twerking.
It's shaking. I was so excited.
- Oh my God!
Oh!
(Braxton moaning)
(Cocoa moans)
- What's that? Oh!
- This is the future the liberals want!
- I don't even know how science works. Is this science?
- This is so successful.
This is why it's important to have women in STEM.
Slags, you were twerking!
Oh, it was absolutely fantastic to watch.
- The winner is sexy.
The winner gave me a good boner.
(Fantasia laughs)
- But for me, to be an excellent twerker,
the devil is in the detail.
It was the bum tassels that did it for me.
(group laughs)
The devil is in the detail! Damien!
For somebody that probably isn't a twerker, well done!
- If you told me that I was going to win
a twerking challenge ever in my life,
I would've fully called you a liar on the spot.
- You get an additional five points.
It was a really hard decision.
Everyone's arses going up and down,
flying around everywhere.
We loved it.
For tonight's passion project,
we are gonna be taking some very sexy pin-up photos.
(group cheers)
- A sexy pin-up photo shoot.
That is my...
- [Nicky] Actually, sweetie, it's my shit! Remember?
I'm the OG "Slag Wars" pin-up girl.
These hoes have big shoes to fill.
- You're gonna be working with
two of the best models in the game, Matt and Fantasia.
(group cheers)
I wanna see how the slags perform with very seasoned models.
I'm throwing them right into it.
You are gonna be working with
celebrity photographer Charles Moriarty.
- Whoa. - Ooh.
- He's photographed me before, Matt before,
and even Amy Winehouse.
You'll be split into two groups,
and these are themed on their favorite holidays.
- [Matt] Halloween!
- Christmas!
(group cheers)
- I want to be on the Halloween team so bad.
- Damien, as you won today's foreplay challenge,
you are going to be selecting the two teams.
Go for it. - Okay.
We're going to do Christmas, Halloween.
- Yes.
- Christmas.
Christmas.
- I am apathetic to Christmas.
It's a nice holiday for friends and families,
but it's not quite as cunt as Halloween.
Do you know what I mean?
- Halloween.
- Perfect.
Most of my wardrobe is black, dark, so it really fits.
It's really easy.
- [Damien] Halloween.
Christmas.
- [Cocoa] Okay.
- So I'm a little bit upset
that I didn't get Halloween because I'm a spooky bitch.
Like, look at me.
- And Halloween.
Stuck with the responsibility
of choosing who goes to which team,
but everybody seemed happy enough
with the holiday that they got.
(bugle sadly plays)
- Off you go to the house,
and go and get ready for your holiday pin-ups!
Yeah! (group cheers)
I love a good photo shoot, and it's so important
to get the perfect shot as a cock destroyer,
so I can't wait to see what they come up with.
Tit bounce! Ass spank!
♪ It's the motherfucking Slag House ♪
♪ Slag House, ooh
♪ Ah
♪ Cigarettes are bad for you
- It's really been nice hanging out with you guys,
and I mean everyone.
- It feels so normal.
I feel like the closest friendships I've had
is with other sex workers.
- Yeah.
Me and some of the slag boys are hanging out,
catching up, shooting the shit, as one does.
- This has been a really great experience.
Like, it's been so fun.
- And our lines of work
are, like, all similar but also different.
- Different, yeah.
- So it's like okay, how do you do things?
What's the approach?
And stuff like that. - Yeah, I've learned a lot.
I feel like, sometimes,
the relationship you have with other sex workers is so close
and it's always like such an unbreakable bond.
You go through so much together.
I find that I do, like, I'm a sign model.
It is a very quite conservative industry still,
which you wouldn't think that
because sex sells everything.
Like, every billboard you ever see with anything ever,
that's the industry I'm in,
but it's still very, you know, we don't do that,
when we all know that a lot of artists
and a lot of models do sex work.
- Yeah, sex work sells. You just can't sell sex.
- That's the thing, but I find that
if you guys want to sell my body and my face
and use my image to sell your things,
why are you saying I can't use my body
for how I want to sell it?
I just find it really interesting that
no one cared about any of my modeling
and didn't wanna sign me
and didn't care about trans men being models,
but until I started doing porn and doing sex work
and stuff like that, but then when I got signed,
I've just been endlessly told that
the sex work and me being me
is going to ruin my modeling career,
but that's what got me noticed in the first place.
- People talk about sex work being exploitative,
and it's like, no.
Like, working for a business is exploitative.
Like, sex workers and porn actors get paid that day.
- Everyone has their own individual story
that now they will get to show
and tell more about themselves,
so I think this is such a good idea.
- Yeah.
- For me to get to know the other slags
and for me to hear their stories,
I thought that was just the best to hear.
(dramatic music)
(tambourine jangles)
- In the name of the alien overlords!
- [Nicky] In the yard, the girls are being weirdos.
- [Producer] Read the script, Nicky.
(Nicky huffs)
- [Nicky] In the yard, the girls are doing
a ritual cleansing circle like a bunch of fricking weirdos.
- The divine femme energy.
So we really need to ground ourselves by doing some rituals,
bringing that divine feminine sexual energy back.
You must invoke the earthly energy into your holes!
- It's a little bit weird. It's kind of fun.
It's kind of kooky, but it might be working actually,
because, you know,
I'm starting to feel something in my pompom.
(drum banging) (tambourine jangles)
Yeah, I think it was a good thing we did that.
I feel like, you know,
it really helped to align everything.
- Freyja, thank you so much for that.
I feel like last night was absolutely crazy.
- Yeah.
- Isn't it amazing to see
so much femme energy on this season?
- [Cocoa] Right.
- Like, last season, you obviously had, like,
all the twinks and then Nicky.
- Yeah.
- And now we've got like so much feminine energy this time.
I love it.
- It's so good to be around more femmes.
It's so nice to feel that divine feminine energy.
- There's so many ways to have this femme energy,
especially in like sex work and like in the adult industry.
Like, even things like body mods.
I'm still very feminine,
but I think the piercings can add that bit of edge.
- And then like lip fillers for me
is like the hyper femme part.
Really embracing that inner true
like bimbo persona, you know?
- I love the bimbo.
- I love the whole bimbofication movement.
So, you know, that part of me is really important
to enhance with make-up and piercings.
- I feel like people always use the word bimbo
with such negative connotations,
but it's such an iconic look and theme.
I feel like we're almost reclaiming it by embracing-
- Absolutely!
- This hyper femininity
and doing ourselves up to the absolute hyper-est of femmes.
- It's not even always about the look, the aesthetic.
It's like an energy that we all carry.
It's just like ingrained in us.
Reclaiming that back, that's what us sluts do.
Like, you're gonna sexualize us anyway,
so why not make some money off it, make the most of it?
- Anyway, guys, we'd better get ready for our big day.
- How exciting.
- Hey, let's jump up! Bimbo party!
- Okay!
♪ Bimbo party, bimbo party
(lively music)
- Fanny, I'm so glad you're here.
Your judging is spot on. I'm having such a good time.
- I am so excited to sit down with Rebecca.
I look up to her so much,
so this conversation is definitely needed.
- I just wanted to thank you for your words yesterday
'cause you really helped me.
So I've made you something special.
I really want to make her feel welcome in the Slag House,
and I have the perfect idea.
- Really?
- I've made you something special.
- Now, this-
- Okay. Let's see what this is.
- Is an English tradition.
It's a special Mistress More small brew of tea.
- Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.
Let me taste it. - It's right here.
(Fantasia gasps)
I want to show Fantasia how important tea is to us Brits.
Let's cheers.
- Cheers, baby.
(gentle music)
- Do you love it?
- Mhm.
- Don't you love it? Go on and have some more.
It's lush, isn't it?
We love drinking tea in the UK.
- Yes. So do I.
- Tea here is so important.
It's gonna ground her. It's gonna solve all of her problems.
Fanny, take another sip.
Isn't it delicious?
You can go back and tell everybody how amazing it is.
(Fantasia retches)
Was it a bit hot?
- Oh, it's okay. I'm okay.
- It is so delicious. - I'm okay.
That was the worst tea I ever had in my life.
- Mm. Fanny.
I'm gonna send you loads. I'm gonna take you.
You're gonna go back
with a case full of Mistress More tea bags.
- I would love it.
- It's my pleasure. - I would love it.
- It is my pleasure. - I would love it.
- I really wanna get to know you.
- [Twerky] I love Mistress More tea.
- We don't really know each other,
but a friend of Matt's is a friend of mine.
- Well, I mean, we do have a lot in common.
- Oh, we do! (Fantasia laughs)
- How many CCs are those?
- Oh, these things?
- Yes!
- These are 800, if you can believe it.
- Really? I started off with 840.
- Did you? - This is 3,400 now.
- Wow. They are awesome.
- I feel like I have two kids on my chest.
(both laugh)
- Me too.
I feel like I've got two asses on my chest.
- Oh my God.
- We got into one of our favorite subjects, boobs.
I started off with 500.
- Really?
- Can I let you into little secret?
- Tell me.
- I'm getting them reduced.
(Fantasia gasps)
It's been quite difficult,
having to put on three bras to go running,
so I'm going smaller.
- Well, I'm actually thinking about going bigger.
- Good.
- Yes, I wanna- - How much bigger?
- I think I wanna go to like 5,000 CCs.
Yeah. I think I'm gonna make my tits even bigger.
This is 3,400,
so 5,000 probably would be like this.
- Perfect. - Like that.
- Perfect. - Yeah.
- Do you need a hand?
(Rebecca giggles)
- Can you help me?
- Oh, they feel-
- Did I say that right? Can you help me?
Did I say that right? - We've got to send you back
with an English accent.
We have got to send you back right.
- Okay, teach me, teach me.
Teach me. - Let's have us two
with British accents.
- Let's do it.
- I love cock.
- Perfect!
- Oh my God!
- Next one. Next one.
Look at these lovely big tits.
- Look at these lovely big tits!
- Perfect!
(Fantasia squeals)
- Can I have a mug of spunk tea?
- Can I have a cup of sweet tea?
Mistress tea.
(both laugh)
- Wow. I'm just loving Fanny more and more every day.
What is spunk?
Like, spunk it up?
- No, baby.
- Really?
- Yes!
- We call that jacking off.
- No, no. It's the stuff that comes out the end.
- Oh. - Jizz!
- Cum.
- Spunk all over these lovely big tits.
(Rebecca giggles)
- Fantasia is so impressive,
and I am so happy to have her here
to help me judge these slags with Matt.
You have a Christmas photo shoot.
I need you to be my eyes and ears on those slags.
Let's report back later in the bedroom.
- I got you.
- Don't forget your tea.
- Okay.
- I can just tell this is gonna be a great few weeks.
(Rebecca sighs)
(dramatic music) (chorus vocalizing)
- I don't know what the production team did,
but the Slag House is terrifying.
(dramatic music continues)
- Happy Halloween, Fantasia, you-
(Fantasia shrieking)
Die, bitch!
(Matt laughing) (Fantasia shrieking)
- Oh my God! Somebody help me!
(Matt laughing) (Fantasia shrieking)
- And that is acting.
(group applauds)
Welcome to the Halloween challenge.
- It's like a haunted house horror, which I love.
- We have my good friend Charles here.
- Charles, woo!
I was getting pretty horny.
Model me, do whatever you want to me,
and Fanny's gonna be sticking around
like a present under the tree,
just watching us and making sure
that we're all on our best behavior,
doing the best modeling we can do.
The slags are posing with me. Let's see how they do.
- [Charles] Hey, guys. Nice to meet you.
My name's Charles. Matthew, you know me well.
You have an idea what you wanna do with Matthew?
- Are we meant to be spooky or do-
- It's Halloween, so let's be spooky and gaggy.
Where do you want to take it?
- Let's just go with the poses and see how we do.
- All right, great.
♪ From hell, he came (camera clicking)
♪ Through burning flames
- I'm feeling confident,
so I am ready to give face in this shoot.
That is gonna be my weapon.
(Matt growls)
♪ From hell
- [Nicky] If there's this much anal in hell,
then thank God I'm an abomination in the eyes of the church.
♪ From hell
- [Charles] Thank you.
- One, two.
It wasn't as easy as what I thought.
I'm glad I had the face paint on,
'cause I think I hid my nerves a little.
I'm just gonna have to wait and see how the others did
and how my photos turned out.
- Great job. How do you feel, Braxton?
What do you think?
- Hot. I feel very fucking hot.
- Me too. I built up a sweat.
- Hey, Fanny, you're looking pretty over there.
What do you think about this situation?
- Thank you. I thought that was pretty good.
- I love it.
- You're welcome.
(Matt and Fanny laugh)
- [Charles] What do you wanna do today?
- Well, I thought I would do like
a bit of a sexy grim reaper.
I'm really excited about this,
but, also, I feel like there is a bit of pressure.
Like, this is my day job. This is what I do all the time.
I feel like there's expectations.
♪ There's a monster in my closet ♪
- If my face is here,
and I'm like leaning towards the camera-
- Do you want me to pick you up over my shoulder?
- Yeah, yeah, okay. - Yeah.
You know he's a real model
and this is exactly what he's meant to do.
- Really close up ones.
♪ Jeebies, I've got the heebie
- I did get a bit of Matthew all over my face,
but I have been waiting
to get a bit of Matthew all over my face.
I mean, who isn't?
- All right, Oscar. That was great.
You really worked up a sweat.
Fanny, what do you think? How do you think Oscar did?
- I'm scared. Ooh.
(group chuckles)
(eerie music)
- So I think I would like to interact a little bit
with taking some of the clothes off.
- Oh. - And then I want to
force you to drink the blood at the end.
♪ I'm gonna leave my mark (camera clicking)
♪ And pour my bad luck into you ♪
- Kind of did some vampire type of posing with him.
A little bit of strip tease in the photo shoot too.
♪ Before the shadows haunt
♪ I'll pour my bad luck into you ♪
- [Damien] I got to play with some blood.
- [Nicky] If anyone's worried,
the blood is as fake as a bored wife's orgasm.
- Obviously, I'm anything
dark and gothy and anything striptease,
so it felt very like, okay, this is something I can do.
This is something easy that I'll have a good time with,
and I definitely did.
- All right. That was great.
- You were a good sport.
(Damien laughs) - You too.
How did you think it went?
- It was messy.
(eerie music) (thunder rumbles)
- I'm gonna be your guest photographer today.
How are you? - Nice to meet you.
I'm very good.
I'm so excited to shoot with Charles Moriarty.
He has shot Amy Winehouse,
and now he will shoot with Cocoa Kink.
(lively music)
♪ I don't bite like Dracula
- Kiss my ass.
(vocalist indistinctly sings)
- Straight off the bat,
I've got Matt kissing my ass, kissing my boots.
I'm giving full queen dom spider witch energy,
and that's exactly who I am.
♪ In the darkness, I know you'll find me ♪
- Baby, Charles is hot, honey,
and I know this is a photo shoot,
but I can't keep my eyes off him.
- What are you pulling out of there, Matt?
Or what are you putting in?
- Exactly.
- I was trying to keep my cool,
but I had to put a little something up in Charles' ear
to see if he was interested.
Nice shot.
- [Charles] Thank you, Fantasia.
- [Fantasia] Do you like tea, Charles?
- Ugh, Fanny.
- What?
- We're trying to have a photo shoot right now.
It's not all about your bussy.
- Are you being for real right now?
- [Nicky] Do you think he crashed a kid's birthday party
to get that make-up done?
- Well, excuse me.
I didn't know it was a crime to talk to the photographer.
- Okay, Matt. That's what's up.
I'll sit my tits down.
We'll talk about this later.
- Thank you.
- Mhm.
If Matt had a problem with me,
there was a much better way he could have dealt with it.
- [Charles] Beautiful.
- Thank you so much. That was really fun.
- Yeah, that was great.
Oh my God. Thank you.
You were great.
Fanny, how did you feel about this?
- I love her costume.
- Oh, yeah. You look great.
- Thank you. I like your outfit too.
Afterwards, I was, like, on such a high.
This is definitely something that, you know,
I think I've done well in.
♪ Silent night (gentle music)
♪ Holy night
♪ All is calm
♪ All is bright
♪ Sleep in heavenly
♪ Peace
- Now we're ready.
(group cheers)
Christmas is actually my favorite time of the year.
It's a time where you can just come together
and celebrate your family and friends
and listen to all kind of good Christmas music.
- Merry XXX-mas, slags.
♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
- [Charles] Hi. I'm Charles, your guest photographer today.
How are you?
- I'm good, thank you. How are you?
- [Charles] Not too bad. Are you ready to go?
Do you have some ideas?
- Yes, I do.
I'm here dressed as the Virgin Mary,
because, obviously, I'm a virgin.
(Mama giggles)
So I'm thinking maybe do like some dom-y vibes.
- Okay.
- So I'm gonna, like, get on the floor.
Maybe like put your hand under my chin.
- Okay.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what a time to have some fun riding on a sleigh ♪
- [Charles] Beautiful.
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪
- I feel like we had good chemistry together.
We had a little slutty moment on the floor together.
It was very hot.
It was like a little boudoir,
like slutty little pin-up moment.
It was cute.
- I thought that was hot, honey.
You know I love to get slutty, honey.
- It was really fucking hot.
- That is so sweet of you, Matt.
- Yeah. - Oh my gosh.
(dramatic music)
- [Charles] How are you doing?
- I'm good.
- You ready to do some Christmas?
- Yeah.
First, I want us to like mirror each other,
so both of us look back.
- [Fantasia] Okay.
- Hands up. Look over.
The cookie's like...
And you got the hand.
We are two doms with our gingerbread subs,
and we're gonna eat the Christmas cookies.
Give that energy.
(camera clicking) ♪ Sing with heart
♪ And sing with cheer
♪ Sing, sing, sing, sing
(Fantasia shrieking) (flame crackles)
- Oh no!
Oh my God.
(Sabrina puffs) - Woo, bitch!
- Fanny's asshole is on fire.
- Okay, my ass is freezing now. Okay.
Okay, okay. God damn.
Woo, back to the photo shoot, bitch. That's hot.
- [Charles] Come back from the fire a little bit.
- Bitch, my ass is on fire!
- Fucking Christmas, mate, but it was okay.
I'm a model.
Maybe I'll pull it out.
- How are you feeling, baby?
- Oh, I'm feeling good. It's so fun to work with you.
- I had fun with you. What do you think, Matt?
- You guys are making me crave red velvet cake right now.
(Fantasia giggles)
- [Santa] Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
- What do you want to do today?
- Well, in Los Angeles, I'm the village cum dump,
so I'm doing the Christmas village cum dump.
So you're gonna be putting this on my ass
and like setting it up.
Christmas Village cum dump. I think I can handle this.
So, like, right on the butt cheeks,
like you're setting it up.
- [Fantasia] Oh my goodness.
(JV indistinctly mutters)
- Pour some glitter on there.
I thought, where can I put these little things?
I'll just put them on my ass.
- [Fantasia] Oh my goodness. Oh.
- What I didn't take into account was
how fucking hard this was gonna be.
- [Fantasia] It's raining!
Oh my God. It's snowing glitter.
- Once it started, it was fucking chaos.
- I feel like I just watched
a family-friendly Christmas special.
(group laughs)
- A family role play Christmas special.
- Yes.
- [Charles] You ready to go today?
- Every time I look at you, I'm just like,
oh my God, goddess,
so I want you to be the dominant one
and me to be quite submissive.
A lot of the time, I am a dom,
but being around Fanny, I just go full sub space.
You kind of like feeding me cookies
and like pouring milk on my mouth.
- Sounds perfect. Let's go.
Let's do it.
- [Fantasia] You ready for your cookies?
There you go.
- [Nicky] Freyja is about to get ginger-bred.
- I was just like in submission to her.
Like, that was amazing.
♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas
- [Charles] Beautiful.
- And when we snapped out of it,
I was like suddenly back to reality,
and it was just like, yeah, that was amazing.
That was really fun.
- How do you feel, baby? How do you feel about that?
- Used and abused.
Thank you very much. - I thought
that was really hot.
(both chuckle)
- I was wrong. I don't want red velvet.
I want some milk and cookies now.
- Oh! - Yes!
- Any time.
(Freyja chuckles)
- Wow, Matt. What an amazing shoot.
I thought that was fire. We have so much to go over.
Oh my gosh. I thought all of the slags were wonderful.
What about you?
- Oh, totally. Oh my God.
It was really fun
to watch you take all these photos with everyone.
- Yeah, I'm glad that you watched, but you and I,
I have a bone to pick with you.
I am so proud of the slags,
but Matt, we have something to talk about.
(foreboding music)
♪ I was good enough before
♪ Good enough to call
♪ Good enough to live the life you wanted to explore ♪
- So, how did it go?
It is deliberation time.
It's time to round up Matt and Fanny,
get in my bedroom, and deliberate over the slags.
I'm pretty excited to see these photos,
because when I think of a pin-up shoot,
I think Marilyn Monroe, Dita Von Teese.
I think it's all in the eyes.
Sometimes it's all in the outfit.
- Sometimes it's all in the butt.
- It sure is. It's all in the butt.
All in your butt.
I'm gonna be looking at everything.
I'm gonna be looking at their poses, their connection.
I'm not gonna be playing nice.
- This is the first one.
- [Fantasia] Braxton.
Do you think that he's going for a devil or a ram?
- I know. I can't work it out.
Yeah, that's a good bloody point. I think it's like a ram.
- Yeah.
- For me, the eyes are drawing me in.
- [Fantasia] It's like you're looking like seductive.
- Yeah.
- And then he's looking like,
"Bitch, I'll kill you." (Matt barks)
- Yeah.
- He's gonna ram me.
- Oscar.
Okay, you know what I'm gonna say, don't you, Matt?
The watch.
- [Matt] Oh.
- Straight away, the fucking watch on.
It just hits me in the face.
I can tell he's a true model,
but it took me right out of it.
And what's that on the nose?
- Oh, my make-up.
- [Rebecca] Matt!
- We got a little face to face.
- [Fantasia] Not my favorite.
- No, and the watch is problematic for me.
I'm all about accessories,
but this did not look part of the shoot.
I'm afraid this looked like an error to me,
a staringly bad one.
Damien.
Okay. Hit me.
(Fantasia gasps) Oh!
- [Fantasia] Oh, my breath.
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- [Fantasia] My breath.
- Well. - Wow.
- Damien might be my most detailed slag.
- I can't believe that I'm about to say this,
but I believe this photo is pretty flawless.
I don't really see anything that's wrong with it to me.
It's literally like dead spot-on.
- [Rebecca] Cocoa.
- Mm.
- [Matt] I do like this one.
There's not a lot showing though.
- I don't know.
Her leg is in front of your face, for a start.
I can tell she's enjoying herself. I love the background.
I'll tell you what else.
Can we scoop up and have a look at your arch?
- [Matt] Oh, yeah.
- Hello.
Hello, Matt. - All right, all right.
- Ass everywhere, ass everywhere.
- Do you know what?
I just feel like connected. Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah. That's what I'm feeling too.
Like I said, I love her outfit. I love her face.
- I love it. - You really can't tell
that you're licking her leg,
so that kinda throws it off. - Yeah.
- It look like you're just smelling her leg almost.
- Yeah. - But that's not necessarily
her fault either in the photo.
- No. True.
- Yeah. - You're to blame.
(Matt chuckles)
Overall, I would honestly have to say 7.5.
- Oh, you're being the nice one this round.
- Oh, come on. - Ooh.
- Wow. - What do you give?
- A five.
Cocoa, honey, step it up.
- You are savage.
Have you had enough of that tea? What have I done to you?
She'll turn into Mistress More in a minute.
You've been drinking my tea all day.
Mama Mamba. I fucking love this.
- [Matt] This was absolutely my favorite to watch.
It was beautiful. It was arousing.
- [Rebecca] I love this.
- [Fantasia] I just dig her style and I feel like
she carried herself very well.
- Did you like her grabbing your tits?
- I did.
(Matt chuckles)
It felt so good.
- Sabrina.
I'm sorry, but this does not feel like Christmas.
This feels like Halloween.
I was like, got the memo, Halloween.
- [Fantasia] Straight Halloween.
- This looks like Halloween.
- Yeah.
- It also doesn't look like pin-up.
It looks like a really delicious cookie commercial.
- [Fantasia] It's giving very devil in disguise.
- [Rebecca] I really want that cookie.
- I want that cookie.
- Hi, slags. We're just gonna ruin your lives.
- You've really just done diddly all.
- With our low scoring!
(group chuckles)
JV.
What? What was he doing?
What is this? I don't.
Like, what's that on his arse?
You've got all this stuff on your hand.
- I was going up and down his back while I was-
- He's demanding too much of his model.
- I was milking him.
- There's no outfit here, is there?
With pin-up, it is a lot about the outfit as well.
This was a bit more porn than pin-up, to be honest.
I'm honestly gonna give this one 6.5.
- Fanny, how big was it? 6.5?
- I see what you did there.
(Matt chuckles)
Freyja!
- Wow, wow. - Ooh.
- Freyja!
This is art. This is erotic.
I love that we're seeing the full outfit.
We've got your full face. We've got the pouring of milk.
Yeah, this is really nice. This is really nice.
Freyja, you know, she was really nervous last night,
but I'm really starting to see her in her element.
Was that great fun or was that great fun?
- Oh my gosh.
I had a good time interacting with the slags. It was fun.
- I did feel a little bit like Fanny was acting up,
acting a little bit of a fool,
trying to get her dick wet with Charles.
- There is a way that you say things to people,
and you didn't have to talk to me like that.
- I mean, listen, I'm not trying to be disrespectful.
I'm just trying to keep this train on the tracks, baby.
All of us like to get our dick wet,
but there is a time and a place.
- Right, but there's a certain way you say things
to people that you love.
- How do you think I was supposed to say that?
- "Fanny, this is not the time, baby. Let's do that later."
- Matt, I can't believe you cock-blocked Fanny.
That is fucking outrageous!
Let's get serious!
Matt and Fanny,
I do not have time for these horny little tiffs.
We have a point system tonight.
We've got to go and get ready and we have got slags-
- To go judge.
- Do we have a winner?
(somber music)
(dramatic music)
(dramatic music continues)
- I know nobody's going home, but I'm feeling nervous.
- You never know.
There's always something that Rebecca might see,
so I am still pretty nervous.
(intense music)
(whip cracks)
- We are at the very first golden lips ceremony
of "Slag Wars," season two.
What a great day, slags.
Now, I did promise you all
that no one was gonna be eliminated on this show.
- I can't deal with this.
I can't deal with no more twists and turns and all of this.
(Rebecca sighs)
- Oh, not another twist. I can't handle another twist.
- That is true, so let's proceed.
These golden lips ceremonies are gonna work
a little bit different this season.
No one's getting eliminated. I'm just assigning points.
Slag JV.
There is a fine line between porn and pin-up,
and you definitely crossed that line.
Your golden lips are worth 12 points.
(group applauds)
- Ugh, you know, if I start out episode two
a bit too pornographic for the Cock Destroyers,
I think I've got nowhere to go but up.
- Braxton, I wasn't sure
whether your horns were upside down.
It was either a ram or a devil.
I loved how you were looking in the shot that I saw.
You were looking directly at the camera.
That's fantastic. Your lips are worth 18.
(Braxton chuckles)
Well done. (group applauds)
- The critique from Rebecca, I thought she was spot on.
So tomorrow's a new day and I'm gonna lift my game up.
- Oscar, you are a model.
I am surprised that you had a watch on in your shoot.
- My fucking watch! I'm so frustrated!
- I didn't know whether I was looking at a Halloween show
or an advert for a watch!
- Fuck.
- The devil's in the details.
Your lips tonight are worth 16.
- [Oscar] Thank you.
(group applauds)
- It's okay.
I know that I would've kind of got judged a bit harsher.
Like, it is my job, so you know, I fucked up. It happens.
- Cocoa, your outfit is absolutely fantastic.
I know you did very well,
but Matt's face was behind your boot, et cetera,
and, remember, you are the director of your own shoe.
As a cock destroyer on a shoot,
you need to be in charge of your own stuff.
So, well done. Your lips tonight are worth 19.
- I looked good. The outfit was good.
I got the brief. I knew what I was doing.
You couldn't see Matt's face. I understand.
- Virgin Mary.
Very creative. Very original.
I absolutely loved the way
that you and Fanny looked together.
It looked fabulous. Your lips tonight are worth 22.
- Ooh. - Oh, my lucky number.
- [Oscar] Yeah!
- I scored 22 points, which is actually my lucky number.
- Damien, pin-up, you got it. I wanna see a bit more slag.
We are not cock polishers. We're cock destroyers, okay?
So I wanna see you roughing it up a bit more, okay?
- I'm ready.
- Coming out of your comfort zone,
but this was an excellent shot.
It was really fantastic, and your lips are worth 20.
- Thank you. Thank you.
It was clear that I was really in my element
and that I did a great job,
and that felt very nice and very validating,
but if I'm gonna get dirty, I'm gonna get dirty.
- Sabrina, actually, when I saw the picture,
I wasn't show if it was Christmas or Halloween.
I just was not sure, but your lips are worth 17.
(group applauds)
Well done.
- Tomorrow, I'm gonna fuck it up. I don't care what it is.
I'll do better.
- Freyja, hot, hot, hot.
As soon as this picture came onto the screen, I loved it.
You are the highest scoring lips with 25!
(group cheers) That was hot!
- Oh my God. Like, I can't believe it.
I thought, is there a mistake?
- Woo!
Now, smash them! I'm just kidding.
Don't.
Now, if some of you had some negative feedback
that you're not very happy with, don't worry.
You're here to learn and I'm here to be your mentor.
Now, if you're on the other side of that
and you had nothing but positive,
don't let that go to your head and get really cocky, okay?
That being said, until tomorrow morning,
go de-spunk the world!
(group cheers)
- [Contestant] Congratulations!
Congratulations, everybody! - Good job, everybody!
- [Contestant] Let's go!
- I actually came second in a photo shoot challenge,
and to be honest, I'm happy with that.
- I'm gonna take more control next time.
I'm listening to those notes,
'cause I'm gonna show Rebecca More
that Sabrina is a motherfucking cock destroyer!
- I definitely think I should have got more points for that.
It's okay. I'm gonna take control tonight.
I'm gonna get my beauty sleep.
Tomorrow, it's over for you bitches.
- After our first full golden lips ceremony,
here's how the points stand.
(points dinging) (upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
Next time on "Slag Wars."
- You like that, you little naughty motherfucker?
- Oh, fuck!
- I don't think so!
- You'd probably love it, wouldn't you?
- [Matt] Yeah! Oh!
- Yeah, you little piece of shit gnome.
(Braxton sniffs)
- Slags, I have had Matt and Fanny
throw your luggage on the floor.
- What the hell is going on?
- Are we in trouble?
Like, have we brought things that we shouldn't have brought?
- That's sabotage.
- No, we're all whores here.
Are you trying to sabotage your own-
- Nah. What are you not getting at that?
- Don't talk to me like that.
(ominous music)
(lively music)
(lively music continues)
(no audio)
- [Voiceover] Ooh, daddy.