- Hi, I'm Nicky Monet,
internationally tolerated TV personality
and your host.
Now girl, this is a great gig,
'cause they gave me super powers.
Look.
(whimsical music) (electricity whizzing)
(lasers shooting)
Now, I may not have rights in half of the US states,
but in the Slag House, I'm omnipotent.
Which I really thought only meant fucking uncut guys,
but apparently it means God-like and all knowing.
Now, you guys, I'm sure you're all wondering,
where is Chase Icon?
(adventurous music)
(wood clanking)
To which I'd have to say,
what do you think, all trans girls know each other?
Problematic, you're canceled!
Oh, oh, and another reason why I love it here,
the musical numbers.
(variety of vocal music)
Now, times have changed,
but our mission has not.
Find cocks and destroy them.
Welcome to "Slag Wars."
(vocal music)
You see, that's why I should've won Season 1.
- [Nicky] In a seclude estate in the British countryside,
eight slags will face
the naughtiest challenge of their lives.
A series of sexy events
to prove once and for all,
who deserves to carry on the cock destroyer legacy.
But before they arrive,
Rebecca More and Matthew Camp
are about to reunite for the first time since Season 1.
- My God.
Oh my God, wow.
- Seeing Matt for the first time,
I don't know what I'm gonna do,
I don't know what I'm gonna say.
- You haven't changed.
- We got the same perfume.
- I think we do, oh my God.
- Babe, I have been, it's so weird to be here,
it's been like three years.
- It's been three years.
- I'm really nervous, but obviously-
- Don't be nervous.
- That's what the outfit's for, okay, this is a-
- Oh, protection.
- Yeah, protection, right.
- Very undercover right now.
- Should we have a seat?
- Absolutely, yeah.
This is the first time I've seen, talked,
or had any sort of conversation with Rebecca,
since Season 1 in "Slag Wars."
- Oh gosh, where do I start?
The last time I saw you was in this house.
- That's right.
- And I don't know if I can do this.
I'm a little in my head right now.
I mean, am I gonna have the fortitude
that the Slag's gonna be expecting,
to make the decisions alone?
- You should just continue.
I'm here to make sure Rebecca
has all of the support she needs.
I brought some help
from the United States.
- No way, who?
- And you're gonna love them.
- Who?
- Oh, wait til you see.
I really wanna make sure that Rebecca feels supported
but I don't know if I can do it all by myself.
- Matt's got a guest.
Who's he got?
- Here we go.
- Oh my God!
- Fantasia.
Wow!
I am such a huge fan.
I can't wait to get to know her.
- My name is Fantasia Royale Gaga.
I'm your Season 1 winner of Hot House.
- Fantasia!
(everyone cheering)
- And if it wasn't for "Slag Wars,"
there wouldn't be no "Hot House" honey.
- I'm so happy to finally meet you.
You look beautiful.
- I just seen you on "Hot House."
- Yes.
- This is a dream.
- Oh my God.
- My gosh, how are you?
- Are you gonna help me?
- Come sit down.
- Yes, I'm here to help babe, I'm here to save the world.
I am so happy to be here in London with Rebecca and Matt,
this is gonna be such an amazing season.
- I know all about her.
(Fantasia laughing)
I'm a big big juicy fan.
- Oh my gosh, same, same.
I'm so happy to finally meet you in person.
I love Rebecca More,
she is such an inspiration.
- Now, I'm gonna need every bit of help,
I need you both to help me keep an eye on these slags.
We know how unruly they can get.
I need you to be in there
finding out all the juicy goss,
because they're gonna be on their best behavior around me.
And so, I wanna find the top slag.
Matt and Fanny are gonna be my help.
Matt is a porn star,
he knows everything about sex, porn, and being a hot slag.
Fantasia embodies a cock destroyer.
I cannot wait to have her by my side.
I think the slags are coming,
you must go and get them.
I'm so excited to see them.
Please, go and bring them to me.
I can't wait to meet them.
I'm gonna be here waiting for them.
- Let's go get 'em, Matt.
Let's go get 'em, Matt.
- Oh shit.
I've gotta pull myself together,
I've got to embody Mistress More,
before I see the slags.
Oh, God.
(whimsical music)
- Oh my God.
Wow.
I'm Sabrina, I'm the first one in this house.
I'm from the UK, Brighton,
gay capitol, not the real capitol.
Aw, I'm alone, where are the other slags?
I've done the full spectrum of sex work.
Domming, camming, the occasional strip club gig.
Can you fucking believe we're doing this?
This is "Slag Wars 2."
The house is fucking huge.
Probably the biggest house I've ever been in.
Actually, that's a lie.
That's a lie.
- Holy fucking shit.
My name is JV Marx,
I'm from sunny Los Angeles, California.
I'm an actor,
I am a writer,
I am penis masturbater.
- [Nicky] Tilda Swinton introduces herself the same way.
- I do a lot of sola male stuff,
and now it's a full-time job.
- Hi. - Hey.
What's up, JV, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, I'm Sabrina.
- Oh my God, it's giving like, Cat Girl.
- Yeah, meow.
- Bark, bark, bark.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The cat boy in me was like jumping up and down.
- All this for little old me.
Hey bitches.
I'm Mama Mamba,
I'm from Burmingham,
well not originally, but I live there.
I am a burlesque performer,
I do more alternative burlesque,
so I have lots of tricks up my sleeve.
You look sexy.
- Thank you, so do you.
- Thank you.
- What's your name?
- Mama Mamba.
- Mama Mamba, Mama Mia.
- Yes, like the snake.
- Oh.
- Why cook when you can eat it raw?
My name is Braxton,
I'm a Aussie living in Montreal.
I'm a porn star and I love to have fun.
When you go to see my spicy content,
you can expect to see a variety of my taste.
You've got twinks, you've got daddies,
you got muscle boys,
we're all having fun.
- I hope you're naked under there.
- Ass out.
- Oh yeah, I just wanna put my face in it.
- I'm so excited to be here.
I just can't wait to get this journey started.
- Is that what we're eating?
- Underneath here.
- Oh, I thought it was out back.
Oh wow.
- Oh my God, I can't wait to take nudes in here.
My name is Cocoa,
I'm from Birmingham,
but I live in the UK.
I live in the UK, I'm not a dumb bitch,
I live in London, I live in London now.
You will find me anywhere in between a burlesque show
to beating your dad for money.
Maybe your mom, I don't know.
(Mama screams)
- Oh my fuck.
Oh my God, that's my best friend.
I could not fucking believe it.
I'm so sorry.
- And freaking Cocoa here as well,
I literally cannot live without that bitch,
and the fact that she's here with me,
it's all like, I'm obsessed.
- But what, how we keeping this from each other?
That's my bestie.
Definitely.
- We've been hoes together for a very long time.
- A very long time.
Yeah, naked always, besties always.
We met in Unie,
and now we get to "Slag Wars Season 2" together.
Like, what?
That's insane.
- As besties.
- Wow.
Alien queen.
- Hello, my name is Freyja.
I am from London.
I identify as an alien,
because I am autistic.
My mind operates very different from other people.
So surreal walking into the slag house
and greeting everybody.
Having seen the first season,
then I'm just suddenly there,
was just insane.
- Freyja, where'd you get her from,
she is out of this world.
- Oh my gosh, you look gorgeous.
- Alien queen.
- Yeah, you're outta this world.
- Blue vibes.
- It's your natural hair color.
- Yeah.
Everyone here was just so hot
and I could just feel the talent emerging from them.
- [Nicky] I thought talent was emerging outta me once,
but it was just the worst case of giardia
the doctor had ever seen.
- Holy fuck.
Hey.
- Wow.
Hi, I'm Damien Lenore,
and I am a burlesque performer from South Florida.
I do classic and neo burlesque
and I also do fire performance, fire eating.
- Can squeeze in next to me.
- Nice to meet you.
- You know, in Britain, they call that a faggot, I believe.
Fags.
- Fags.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I love that. (laughs)
In the UK, cigarettes are called fags.
I guess kinda on brand for me. (laughs)
- Wow, my new slutty home.
Hey, save the best for last.
I'm Hotboiyo, but you can just call me Oscar.
I'm from Australia,
but I live in London now.
I'm a model,
I do porn,
I do a whole bunch of sex work,
all of the things I do revolve around art
and trans masculinity at the foot.
Hey everybody, how are ya's?
- [Nicky] I hope he's T for T
and into loud chicks.
Hi Oscar!
- You guys look slutty and cute.
- Another Aussie?
- Yeah, Aussie.
- Hey.
- Wait, where are you from?
- Sydney.
- Sydney, Melbourne.
Bit of a rivalry, but that's all right.
- I've been banned from Australia,
does that count?
Am I an Aussie?
(everyone laughing)
- I wanna get naked.
- Yeah, let's get naked.
Let's join Braxton.
- I'm ready.
(everyone laughing)
- Braxton can get it.
Damien can get it.
There was a lot of people
who's ass I'd like to take a bite of.
- Everyone here is insanely hot.
- I really don't know what's gonna happen next.
But I love that.
- Oh my God, it's starting,
I think it's starting.
Someone's coming.
(Fantasia screams)
(everyone cheering)
- Matt is, he is hot.
- Sup y'all motherfuckers!
- Matthew Camp and Fantasia,
oh my God.
- I've seen them all over TV before,
I'm so excited for them to be seeing us.
- Holy shit, these are some fucking hot slags.
I can't wait to see what happens.
- These slags look so incredible,
oh my gosh.
But we have a long way to go.
Welcome skanks to the skank house.
- Fanny, it's slags.
- Oh, I mean hi slaggies.
(everyone laughing)
- We are back and we are doing "Slag Wars," again again.
And it's bigger and badder than ever.
- We have a ton of surprises for you,
are you fucking ready?
(everyone cheering)
- My death bed can be between those two fucking honkers.
- All right, let's go to the yard, slags.
(everyone cheering)
- Oh my God.
- Do you need help?
- Can somebody help?
- Oh my God, we literally only just got here,
and now we are running around like headless chickens.
We're already going to the yard,
we're starting the challenges.
I have no idea what's going on.
My brain is chaos right now.
- This is actually sinking in
that I am on "Slag Wars."
Slag Wars, ahh.
♪ Slag Wars oh oh
♪ We're the ones you wanna know ♪
♪ Slag Wars oh oh
♪ Cock Destroyers run the show
♪ Slag Wars oh oh
♪ We're the ones you wanna know ♪
♪ Slag Wars oh oh
♪ Cock Destroyers run this show ♪
(upbeat music)
(everyone cheering)
- Mommy.
- Wow, my slags are here.
It's getting real.
I'm so excited, my tits are popping out.
I'm so so happy to see you all.
- When I saw Rebecca More,
I was like fuck, I was in shock.
- Slag, slag, slag, slag, slag, slag,
slag, slag, slag, slag.
- Seeing Rebecca More for the first time
is the most star-struck I've ever been,
and I served Colin Ferrell a hamburger.
(blows whistle)
- Some of you might know,
I've actually retired from porn.
I recently retired a few months ago.
It was just time to hang up my G-string,
so I need the next generation of Cock Destroyers
to rise up.
There's a big-titted elephant
in the room right now, isn't there?
- It's so weird seeing Rebecca
and just waiting for Sophie to pop out the bushes.
Where is Sophie?
- So you might've noticed
that my fellow cock destroyer, Sophie, isn't here.
She was invited, but sadly, she cannot be here.
The show must go on
and this show is about you shining.
This is such an opportunity to show the world
who the fuck you are.
I hand-picked all of these slags,
because I saw in each and every one of them
something really special and unique,
and each one of these has got the potential
to be the next cock destroyer.
I have got each of you a little gift.
- [Nicky] A gift?
Season 1 was so low budget,
the slags had to eat each other out for lunch.
- Plus your very own slag title.
I have named each slag individually
according to their very special slag quality.
Sabrina, the Fantasy Slag.
You have so much imagination
and you can embody anyone's deepest desire.
A cock destroyer is all about the fantasy.
(everyone cheering)
- Fantasy Slag?
Do you know what's so interesting that she noticed that,
because it's so true.
I even turned up to as a cat.
- [Nicky] What's inside the slag bag you ask.
It's spunk.
- Braxton, the Business Slag.
You take your work seriously
and that has led to some serious success.
A cock destroyer is driven.
- That is me to a T,
because I am so protective over my business,
I am a professional,
I come from a corporate background,
and I've brought that into my porn.
When it's work, it's work,
and when it's fun, it's even funner.
- All these bottoms out.
(everyone laughs)
I'll whip mine out a bit more.
Next up is Mama Mamba,
the Extreme Slag.
You are fearless and you smash people's expectations,
like a bloody badass.
A cock destroyer pushes boundaries.
- I'm a freaky bitch,
I don't have many limits.
I'm a little bit wild.
I'm very happy with that title.
- Oscar!
The Art Slag.
You have a vision that's yours and yours alone.
- What a cute fit.
I feel like it suits me so well.
Everything I do has art at the front
and porn mixed in all in one.
That's so me.
- Next up, Cocoa the Supermodel Slag
in a world so dark,
your inner light shines the brightest.
And a cock destroyer is asspirational.
- Supermodel Slag,
I thought I have a bright personality
that shines out,
so I thought that was really sweet.
I was like, aww, thank you.
- Next slag, JV, the Clown Slag.
You are so silly, some would say you're a goon.
That spirit is contagious
because a cock destroyer is joyful.
- It's a bit of an honorific, isn't it?
I'm quite proud of that.
- [Nicky] Oh Christ,
if he's gonna do that accent all season,
I hope he goes home first.
- Freyja, the Alien Slag,
you are out of this world.
Authenticity is a super power,
because a cock destroyer is original.
- The Alien Slag,
that was such a compliment to me,
being honored by Rebecca More in that way.
- Last, Damien the Siren Slag.
(rolls tongue)
You are polished and classic.
You honor the long history of slags
that came long before us.
A cock destroyer is refined.
- The Siren Slag,
which of course I love,
because it's giving very old school burlesque
and it makes me sound fancy and elegant,
which I'm not but I can pretend to be. (laughs)
- Now, each one of these qualities
can help you in this competition.
But don't let them hinder you.
I want to see growth.
- [Nicky] When I was on the show,
my slag title The One Girl.
- Are you ready for our first foreplay challenge?
- Fuck yeah.
- Yeah!
- Let's get this slag show on the road.
Each week,
the slags are gonna be going through a series of challenges,
to test their slagginess.
(blows whistle)
Now, Fanny, come on in.
(everyone cheering)
Come on in.
- Grab these cocks by the neck.
- What are we gonna do with these stuffed animals?
Like, I'm sure it's gonna be something weird, but fun.
- As you can see, Matt and Fanny are dripping in cocks.
What do we do when there's cocks around?
- [Everyone] Destroy them!
- Destroy them!
- Quite literally.
Spot on.
- [Nicky] It's time for the foreplay challenge.
The slags better take this seriously,
because one of them will get an advantage
in tonight's passion project.
- Okay, so one at a time,
you are gonna come up to the table
and you are going to destroy your cock.
I am ready for slags very first ball play challenge.
Give it all you have got,
like your life depends on destroying this cock.
- Bitch, bring on the fucking cocks,
I'm ready to destroy some fucking cocks.
Cocks and money, cocks and money, cocks and money.
- A little bit of pussy.
(upbeat music)
(Rebecca laughs)
- I have destroyed a lot of cocks,
so I wanna see that they really know what they're doing,
how to make it their own.
- So I've got this cock,
I've got my staple gun,
I'm ready to Frankenstein this bitch.
But my staples were not going in,
I didn't realize that you can't staple a stuffed cock.
So, your girl had a problem with that. (laughs)
- [Nicky] Someone give that cock a hit of poppers.
- Because I came as a cat,
I was thinking pussy versus cock.
A tale as old as time.
Why not wack in some scissors?
So I was there pussy scissoring cock.
And then it wouldn't fucking cut anything,
so I just have to rip it apart with my bare hands,
so I turned from like a little cat into a big cat
and I just hope that message translated.
- My dog does the same thing.
- Oh, she means business.
- I'm gonna use some nice BDSM things,
put a ball gag on it.
- She's done this before.
- I'm not gonna lie, I can't remember what was happening,
it was all a bit of a blur.
I think there was some jelly. (laughs)
(upbeat rock music)
- Yeah, baby.
- I'm gonna make you guys a chicken stir fry.
- Whoa, that is a real error.
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
A cock is a rooster, not a fucking chicken.
- I thought, let me cook it,
let me go old school,
let me cook for everyone.
- I can see that the slags gonna need some mentorship.
They actually need to know what a cock is
to win this game.
- Is that my duct tape?
- Oh, this is so kinky.
- I have my bear claws,
which I realize I used for pulling pork, not roosters.
I can't destroy this fucking cock.
I feel like the foreplay performance
went a little bit wrong for me.
This is just too much to deal with right now.
- There really is no rush to destroy,
as long as you destroy the cock.
- All right, let's get this cock.
I grabbed that cock
and I laid it down nice and soft and smooth
before I fucked it really hard with a fucking saw.
- Well, hello.
- And then I got my pecker out
and now I'm gonna fuck it.
I stuffed the cock with my own cock.
- I am the Siren Slag
and I have to live up to that name.
I love you, but I have to kill you now.
- Oh, yes.
It's happening, someone's actually getting naked.
Wow.
This looks like high end skills.
- He's a pro.
- Oh wow, straight off.
- Oh.
Oh, I love it.
- Oh, yes, bravo.
- If there's one thing I love,
it's putting my fag out on a cock.
- Straight to it, head off.
- Oh nice, clean.
(squeaking rubber chicken)
- Ooh.
(everyone laughs)
- You're gonna be so beautiful.
- Oh my God, I love it.
(everyone laughs)
- Yeah!
- I know it's tight but it's gonna be perfect.
There we go.
- Love it.
Now where are we going?
- I knew these bitches, what they were gonna do,
they were gonna cut it up,
they were gonna talk dirty to it.
I said, fuck that.
(everyone laughs)
The brits got a drip coffee
and I had some piss brewing.
I'm pissing for a long time.
I'm still peeing
and I'm still peeing.
And I'm still peeing.
And now I'm done, okay.
(upbeat music)
- Slags, thank you so much
for bringing your individual personality
to this very serious challenge.
Now, we wanted to see some humor,
we want to see how you'd actually destroy a cock.
They're all very very different.
I like the energy.
I do feel like some of you could've really,
like in the next challenges,
really bring more energy.
Me personally, I have never ever been able to pee on demand.
Okay?
You've got me, it's a done deal.
The winner of the foreplay challenge is JV.
(everyone cheering)
The urinator, well done.
- I won the first foreplay challenge of "Slag War Season 2."
I knew that was gonna happen.
Tonight, we're throwing it all the way back to Season 1,
a revival of le cock cabaret.
(everyone cheering)
Every week, there's gonna be a passion project.
Now, that's the big one.
JV, as our foreplay winner,
you get to introduce the show tonight as our very own emcee!
(everyone cheering)
- My sweet little clown
is very anxious for le cock cabernet.
- All right slags, you have a lot to prepare for tonight.
Go and explore the slag house.
(everyone cheering)
- These slags, they turned it out.
We have definitely stepped this season off.
Everyone is on fire.
- If this first foreplay
is any example of what's gonna come,
these slags are gonna bring it!
♪ It's a motherfucking slag house ♪
♪ Slag house
♪ Ooh
♪ Ahh
♪ Ooh
♪ Ahh
- Well, that was nuts.
- We got to have a little sit down
with some of the other slags,
and I was looking forward to getting to know everybody.
- What makes you all slags,
I can smell it on you.
(all laugh)
I'm from Brighton,
it's known as the gay capitol of the UK.
I've been a sex worker,
I've gotten more into performing
and online work and porn, especially the kinky porn.
I love fisting.
Ooh, some alien orgies.
I should probably get on Freyja for that.
- I'm also from Brighton,
but I'm living in London now.
I'm a sex worker and an artist.
I do a lot of fetish art.
I do more online sex work now,
but I used to do in real life domming and performing
and stuff like that as well.
And I was also a stripper for awhile as well.
I really wanted to get here and arrive
and really put my best foot forward,
because someone's being eliminated tonight.
- I'm a sex worker, I do porn.
I'm new to the industry.
I had to quit my nine to five job,
the office is not for me.
I was a financial data analyst,
so I kinda bring that into my porn.
Like, give me the numbers, what am I meant to do,
that kinda thing,
'cause I'm actually quite a jokester,
but when it comes to work, I'm so serious.
Fuck sitting in an office chair from nine to five.
I love it when the guy's sit on me nine to five.
What about you, what do you do?
- I started stripping
and that kinda segwayed into doing burlesque
and now I do that full-time,
I never thought I'd wind up doing burlesque
and it was like wow,
I should've been doing this my whole life.
It's a beautiful combination of art and theater and drama,
my favorite thing in the world.
- That was a crazy ass challenge.
- So good, it was so fun.
- How od you guys feel about your names?
- Well, I really like mine,
mine was the artsy slag,
and I like to bring a lot of artistic elements into it.
My whole brand is pretty much reclaiming
our sexuality as trans men.
We are such a fetish
and a lot of trans men don't feel sexy,
and that's, so it needs to change.
So, keep watching because you're about to see
one of the hottest trans guys you've ever seen.
- I make my living being silly and ridiculous.
I'm a gooner, like fucking masterbater boy, cam boy.
For someone who doesn't know what gooning is,
if you just take your general jack off session
and just crank it up to 11,
extend it by an hour,
making crazy faces.
There's some discourse about whether or not
you should make the crazy faces or what that's about.
But I like to make the crazy faces, so.
What about you Miss Cocoa?
- Supermodel.
- Yeah, it's a lot.
I mean, I do love that.
For me, my aesthetic is important,
and I do like to look pretty and be the hot bitch.
But also, I like that she was talking about
that my personality shines through,
and the thing is, I'm such a goofball,
this is the thing,
I am a chaotic mess but in the best way.
I am chaotic, okay.
I'm also a Burmingham girly.
- Are you, 'cause you two are friends.
- You guys know each other?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Oh my God.
- We actually met at burlesque society,
so we met taking our clothes off.
But we're like besties,
we do shows together and stuff all the time.
We work together.
It's just fun.
And now we get to do this together.
- I do like a lot of more alternative burlesque.
I like to staple things to my face.
- Oh shit.
- That's insane.
- Yeah.
- What do you staple to your face?
- I figured out I could have hammer things up my nose,
because I accidentally put a carrot stick up my nose
when I was in college once.
- [Nicky] I learned dhow to put
a lot of stuff up my nose in college too.
Just kidding, I never went to college.
- So, how I figured out I could hammer a nail up my nose,
I actually accidentally put a carrot stick up my nose,
and I saw somebody doing it with their nail.
And I was like, ah, I think I could do that,
and then I did it.
So, I'm gonna be doing all that freaky shit
at cabaret tonight.
- So, obviously, there's the thing about eliminations.
- I mean, as long as I'm not the first one to go home.
- I think that's the thing,
I'm like, I don't wanna home.
- No, I feel you.
I did not carry all of my things
to go home day one.
All of these outpatients and stuff
that I've tracker all the way here.
I don't want to waste all of that.
- The cabaret is tonight.
Oh god, I am doing a roast.
- [Nicky] In the history of reality TV,
doing a roast has always been a good idea.
Now!
- If feel like that's a part of being gay, being queer,
knowing whether it's pop cultural references
and roasting your friends.
So that is very me,
so hopefully I'm able to make you guy laugh.
And that's me, like I just like to roast.
- I really need to pee, really bad.
- Me too.
- Besties?
- Besties. (giggling)
Should we do a JV?
- Not the JV.
This is your interview now, I guess.
- Oh, there you have it.
- Full bumping a squat.
- Her pom pom's out I think.
- My pom pom is out.
(upbeat music)
- Before tonight's passion project,
the judges meet in Rebecca's bedroom
to check on how she's feeling,
after her earlier anxiety.
- What a day.
- Yes.
- My slag bedroom is just as I left it.
I'm so happy that I've got this space
to bring my judges in
and we can discuss everything the slags are up to,
what they're doing right,
and what they're doing wrong.
Or what they're not doing at all.
- I loved that foreplay challenge.
That was a real way to get like,
get us in there.
Some of them are nervous,
but it's the first foreplay challenge,
so I loved it.
- I think this foreplay challenge
really pepped Rebecca up.
But I think I really need to check in with her,
because she's my friend
and I kinda can tell something's still going on.
I noticed earlier,
you were a little bit more, I don't know,
trepidatious, conflicted.
- Look, I'll be really honest,
since the Cock Destroyers broke up, I've struggled.
It was a relationship
and it just ended.
I just needed to take a beat
and just work out who the fuck I was,
where I was going,
and I just needed to protect myself a little bit.
Do you know what I mean?
I haven't been ready to do this
and this has been a big deal.
I really thought that me and Sophie
were gonna see each other again.
I was expecting her to be here,
and now I've got the weight of all these slags
and passion projects and everything on my shoulders.
- Are you still okay?
- Yeah, I miss her.
- Yeah, me too.
We've had so much fun together over the years.
Do you remember all of it?
- Do I remember it?
The Cock Destroyers brought me so much fun.
It was such a whirlwind.
I remember thinking to myself,
oh this is that Andy Warhol moment of 15 minutes of fame,
which lasted years.
We had a show,
me and Sophie had so much fun.
- You know what, you're gonna kill it this time.
I'm not even worried about it at all.
You got this.
- Thanks, Matt, but I don't think I have.
I just honestly.
I just don't know if I can do this.
There's just that voice of doubt.
- Let me stop you right there.
Honestly, I want to real with you right now.
I was once a contestant,
I was in that position that they are right now.
You have eight slags out there that need you.
Don't forget who you are.
You are Rebecca fuckin' More,
you are a legendary fuckin' icon in the porn industry.
Don't you ever forget that.
You have to keep that in your mind
and you have to keep it in your mind,
you have to stand in it.
You are a bad ass bitch
and you have eight slags out there,
they are looking up to you
and you are their mentor.
And hell, you're a mentor to me.
Look, I see myself in Rebecca,
and I have felt what she's feeling.
So right now, I don't need you to quit,
I need you to pull it together,
stand in it,
'cause guess what,
yeah I know you were the Cock Destroyers,
but guess what, you are Rebecca fuckin' More.
It's my job to remind her just who the fuck she is.
So stand in it,
'cause we have to move forward.
There's a whole competition ahead
and they are depending on you.
- Well, that's fucking told me, isn't it?
Thank God Fantasia's here.
I don't know what I would've done if she wasn't here,
because Matt would've never have shooken me up like that.
I love the balance.
Listen, this goes no further, okay?
Just between us, all right?
You promise me
you won't tell anyone that I nearly breaked my pens, okay?
- Keep that shit off,
we gonna shake that shit off,
we gonna leave it here.
- Shake that shit off.
- I'm glad we got all that off of our chest
and we gotta get ready for le cock cabaret tonight,
which is gonna be fucking amazing.
So we gotta go get ready.
Are you okay?
- I am more than okay.
- You're gonna be okay.
- I'm more than okay.
- You got this, honey.
- I really needed that.
- I'm gonna crawl over your bed if you don't mind.
- Oh, that's perfect.
Look at that arch.
Oh Fanny.
(Fantasia laughs)
I love you, I'll see you.
- [Fantasia] I love, baby.
- See you soon.
(upbeat music)
- To celebrate le cock cabaret,
I am going to be performing a huge opening number.
- [Producer] Oh, Nicky, we have to cut that part.
Sorry.
- Oh.
- [Producer] It was for time.
- Okay.
- [Producer] We'll do it next time.
- That's fine, that's fine.
- [Producer] Okay.
Nicky.
Nicky, Nicky!
Get her off me!
- [Nicky] Tonight, our passion project is le cock cabaret.
Our stage is set in the slag forest
and these woodland creatures
are about to get a real eye full.
(everyone cheering)
- Can you get a little bit (yelling)?
(everyone shouts)
There you go, oh yes, it's a lot.
- We are at the second le cock cabaret.
I am ready, I'm feeling fabulous,
I've chosen the most hot sexy outfit.
I don't get out much so, thought I'd make the effort.
- It's an honor to be your emcee.
My "prize" for winning the foreplay challenge
was more work to do,
but once it came time to it, I got really excited.
Are you guys excited?
- [Everyone] Yeah!
- Sabrina's first, can we give it up for Sabrina?
(everyone cheering)
- Ahhh!
Give it up.
- I'm ready to see these slags perform.
I think it's time for a show.
(dance music)
- [Rebecca] Yes!
Ooh, straight in my face.
- Sabrina, so athletic.
Oh my God, she is defying gravity.
- Fuck.
That bitch is strong as hell.
(dance music)
(everyone cheering)
- [Rebecca] That is stunning.
- Swinging my legs around everywhere,
I'm surprised I didn't take out anyone's eye.
Just gave them all erections and wetness.
- [Nicky] The only way that could've been more impressive
is if she sat on the pole at the end.
(upbeat rock music)
- Ugh.
- Oscar is the hottest man I've ever seen in my entire life.
I don't know if it's in the water down under,
but they're doing it right.
- Oscar, I did not know what to expect,
and Oscar brought it.
- Oscar got up there and killed it.
Murdered it.
Like, massacred it.
It was so good, so good.
- Woo!
(Fantasia laughing)
- [Rebecca] Oscar!
This is hot.
- And just when you think I was done,
I got my pussy out and I got all wet.
(slow dance music)
- Well obviously, I am the alien slag,
that's what I've been assigned by Rebecca fucking More.
So I have to give you an intergalactic performance.
(vocal dance music)
- She looks amazing,
but I have no idea what is going on.
- I get it, but, eh, what's next?
- I was just getting way too inside my head,
it's the first day I'm here,
so I think in my head
I had a very different performance set out.
And I really really don't want to go home.
I feel like I've got so much more
that I can offer to "Slag Wars."
- The one thing about being a cock destroyer,
we have no fucking time for being nervous,
fake it until you make it,
the show must go on.
- We are joined by an esteemed panel of guests tonight.
Now, Rebecca, you have the weight of the world on your tits,
and I've got it on my dick.
- This is true.
We are heroes.
(Rebecca laughs)
I don't mind taking a little roast.
- Rebecca, your tits are so big,
I've become lactose intolerant.
Speaking of big tits,
she calls herself the body,
I call her Queen Latifa.
(Fantasia laughing)
- This shit is not funny.
- Rebecca, you're such a trendsetter,
you've even designed your own coffin
in the shape of a triangle of course.
That's because every time your head hits the pillow,
your legs open.
(Rebecca gasps)
You guys should know that Rebecca's actually quite smart.
She studied at the university of West London,
that's where she got her law degree
to get her the job in that movie, Big Tits at Work.
- [Nicky] Wow, tell a joke.
- You've done your research.
- Yes, I have.
I wanted to show that I researched Rebecca,
just to be able to be show her that I am funny, you know?
- Well done, Braxton.
(everyone clapping)
- Braxton was very brave to choose to do a roast
and that's not an easy thing to do.
- Someone did their research.
- That's a real movie?
- Yeah.
(upbeat rock music)
(everyone cheering)
- [Rebecca] Yes!
- Oh my God, as soon as Mamba came on,
I know what she's gonna do,
I fucking love this act that she does,
it's just so hot, it's so fun, it's so camp.
- [Rebecca] Yes!
Woo!
(everyone cheering)
- [Fantasia] Let's do it honey!
- [Rebecca] Oh yeah!
(everyone cheering)
- No, no she's not gonna do that.
Is she really donna do that?
Fuck!
- [Rebecca] No fucking way.
(everyone cheering)
- Mama is like the sweetest person in the whole world,
but when she turns that shit on,
she is the scariest person in the whole world
and somehow just so delightful and fun.
- I put the nail up my nose
and everybody was like screaming.
Nobody understands where it goes,
but that's a secret that I will not tell ya.
(everyone cheering)
- She won me over.
(everyone yelling and cheering)
- I can't even think about it anymore,
it's too much,
- I actually got a standing ovation from all three judges,
which was wild.
(everyone cheering)
(snapping whip)
- I'm on stage and I went like this,
and it made a big noise and it was so good. (laughs)
- [Rebecca] The outfit is fantastic.
- And I got this little custom-made bra by Broker T.
I like to have fun in here,
I like to take my clothes off,
I like to play around, be like a little tease.
- [Rebecca] Yes!
(burlesque music)
- [Matt] Meow.
I don't know what's going on.
I love it.
(slow upbeat music)
- I came out and I tease with the feather fans first,
and then I removed articles of clothing.
Then I used my fire torches.
- [Nicky] This is my impression
of the hair on Damion's asshole.
Ow!
- And I ate them.
(slow upbeat music)
- [Rebecca] (gasps) Be careful!
- Damion is beautiful.
(carnival music)
- I felt very warm, my heart was racing.
(everyone laughing)
(bell dings)
(Rebecca laughing)
(everyone laughing)
- He's making me laugh so much,
this is so different from any performance we've had tonight.
- [Radio] Two minutes to places.
(everyone laughing)
- Ooh.
(everyone clapping)
- Everybody was really nice and congratulatory.
I felt very happy that everyone had a good time
and that I didn't fuck it up.
- [Nicky] With the cabaret wrapped,
it's time for Rebecca to give feedback,
name a winner,
and send one of our slags home.
- Slags, that was absolutely incredible.
Now that all the slags have taken to the stage,
I think it's time for me to take the stage.
I might not have made you aware of this,
but today has been quite difficult for me.
I'm having a lot of doubt
and I have to tell the slags.
I'll be really honest,
I didn't know if I could do this alone.
I've really struggled.
- Rebecca, I knew it, I knew something was up to her.
- (sighs) I had to make a decision today,
and I thought long and hard.
- What is this decision?
- I just got here, is Rebecca gonna leave?
Nah.
- And I've decided that.
- There's no way she can just abandon us like that,
we all worked so hard for this,
she can't just leave us.
(dramatic music)
- [Nicky] Oh Christ, a cliffhanger?
I guess I need to stay out of jail for another week.
This season on "Slag Wars."
- I don't think so.
- Oh is for orgasm.
- That's right, who's my nasty buccaneer?
(laughing)
- I'm a virgin.
- It's a competition, that's sabotage.
- Don't talk to me like that.
- It's over for you bitches.
(yelling)
- Oh wow, another twist, I can't handle another twist.
- Ugh, Fanny.
- What?
- It's not all about your bussy.
- Are you being for real right now?
- So let the ceremony begin.
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)