Transcript by sub.Trader & Clarity
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ Bye bye bye, bye bye ♪
♪ Bye bye ♪
♪ I'm doing this tonight ♪
♪ You're probably gonna start a fight ♪
♪ I know this can't be right ♪
♪ Hey baby come on ♪
♪ I loved you endlessly ♪
♪ When you weren't there for me ♪
♪ So now it's time to leave ♪ ♪ and make it alone ♪
♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪
♪ It ain't no lie ♪
♪ I want to see you out that door ♪
♪ Baby bye bye bye ♪
♪ Don't want to be a fool for you ♪
♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪
♪ You may hate me but it ain't no lie ♪
♪ Baby bye bye bye Bye bye ♪
♪ Don't really want to make it tough ♪
♪ I just want to tell you that I've had enough ♪
♪ It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie ♪
♪ Baby bye bye ♪
Hey, Lexi. It's me, Mikey.
Mikey.
No, no. Don't hang up.
I got a big fucking surprise for you.
Who is it?
-House cleaning? -Hey, surprise!
-Hey. -Hey, Lil.
Oh my shit.
Nice to see you too.
How have you been?
I am okay.
It's me. Mikey.
Remember me?
I know. What are you doing here for?
I just came to see Lexi and I came to see you, of course.
Both of you guys, but is Lexi here right now?
Lexi!
Thank you.
You won't believe who's here.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my, shit.
Surprise.
Oh my God. What the-- What are you doing here?
Oh, it's good to see you too.
Why are you here?
-Where do I begin? Let me-- -No, you are not coming in this house.
-All beat up. -That's right.
-What the fuck-- -All right.
All right. Well--
-I'll tell you what's-- -Why are you here?
-Yeah. -Oh, well--
Why are you here?
Ma, can you give me a--
Lil, I just wanted to come in and hang for a couple of days.
No, you are not coming in here.
Mom, can you-- can you just go inside?
What the fuck, Mikey?
I know, I know this is unexpected.
Oh, nothing with you is unexpected.
I still got that sass.
Look, I don't know what you want
but I can't help you.
So it doesn't matter how or why you're here.
Go away!
Hey, Lil.
Ma.
Goddammit!
I don't wanna be here. All right? This is embarrassing.
-I don't want you here either. -You think I wanna show up like this?
I got my ass fucking kicked. I just need a place to crash.
-Why can't you hear, just let me-- -What does it look like? A hotel?
Really? It's like that?
Can you get off the property please?
-What are you gonna fucking do? Really? -You want me to call the cops?
-I'll call the cops. -No. Don't--
I'm calling the cops. Ten, nine, eight, seven. Faster.
I'm technically off the property.
So you can't call the cops cause I'm on public land.
-Respecting your boundaries. -Can you keep it down?
Can you come over here, so I don't have to project my voice, please?
Fuck.
Seriously. I just need a place to crash for a couple of days. What's the big deal?
Mikey, go fuck yourself.
Oh. You don't even know what I've been through.
Look at my fucking face.
I just was on the bus for two days.
I had to walk here from the bus station--
Why don't you stay with your mama?
My mom's in a nursing home in Lubbock.
A care home. I can't sleep there.
Mikey. What do you want?
-My God. -What do you want?
I just fucking told you.
I just need to crash for a couple of days.
-What? You want money, right? Here. -No, I don't-- fucking money.
I got 22 fucking dollars.
Here. Come and get it. I can't come on your property. Come get your money.
You should have called.
If I would have called you would have said no.
I'm still saying no. So you fucked yourself back in it.
-Oh, please, come on, you know me. -Damn straight, I do.
You know me and you know I wouldn't be literally begging
if I had somewhere to go.
And if you don't let me in,
I'm gonna sleep in Tarpey fucking park tonight. Is that what you want?
You said you're never gonna step a foot in Texas again.
And then the world fucked me. What can I say?
-Peek-a-boo. -Ma.
See your mom's saying, let him in, let him in and take a shower.
And the dog's like, oh, he's a good man. I can tell by his nice energy.
Please let me take a fucking shower.
This shit got out of fucking control.
If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it.
The place turned into a fucking trap house right under my nose.
Fucking Spiegler sends me some scraggly bitch from Ohio
that he promised would be chill.
Her first night in the house, she gets in a fight, knocks this fucking bitch out.
Crack, right in front of me.
It was like, holy shit.
So anyway, she bounced, now I got to fill the room so I don't lose the month.
And her friend comes and stays there and just gets high the whole fucking time.
Why didn't you just kick the bitch out?
I had seven hoes in there letting MS-13 deal drugs the whole time.
Lil, MS-13 is a gang you don't want to fuck with.
You're good. Okay. Do you need any coffee?
All right, sorry.
So anyway, long story short,
I ended up hiding out in my room
because these dudes were straight fucking killers
and I didn't wanna fucking get killed, so I played video games the whole time.
-Remember the house in Chatsworth? -Uh-huh.
Well, th-- this place was like maybe five times bigger, beautiful house.
I had a two year lease with an option to buy it at the end of the lease. Right?
Well, as usual shit got fucking crazy. I snapped.
I got up in one of those cholos spaces. Cause I'm not a little bitch.
I came this fucking close to getting shot, this fucking close.
So then I had to crash with Kennedy.
Do you remember Kennedy?
Remember?
Do you remember Kennedy?
Anyway, I had to crash at Kennedy's for like three weeks
until he kicked my ass out cause someone left his back door open
and his cute little cat got out and got killed
and it wasn't me.
It was some dumb cunt that he fucked the night before.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to swear, but I don't do that.
Like everyone blame me like, oh Mikey, he's the bad guy.
It's like, whatever. It's bullshit.
So anyway, I had to crash at his place.
He kicks me out.
For like three nights I slept on a fucking street.
I slept in an alleyway.
I used my shoes as a goddamn pillow. It's fucking bullshit.
My neck was so sore. I got beat up.
That's how this, all this happened,
two homeless fuckers beat the shit out of me.
They took everything except my phone and my wallet.
And the only reason they didn't get that as the cops showed up and arrested my ass.
Why'd you get arrested?
I have a feeling there's a whole lot more to this story.
Yeah. I'm sure there is.
W-- what? It doesn't even matter. Look, guys, this could be fun.
This could be cool. I got a plan.
While I was on the bus I thought about this.
I gave it some serious thought. Lil, you know, I'm not a free loader, right?
-While I'm here-- -How long?
-How long, what? -How long do you plan on staying?
Well, I mean, that's up to you and Lexi, of course, but look,
I saw some hiring signs on the way in. I'll go downtown tomorrow
and I'll get a job that pays cash.
I'll teach fucking karate if I have to.
I just got my green belt, okay? And I'll make cash, and I'll help out around here.
You need a man around the house.
Can't you already see shit's falling apart?
I can help out with all that shit, right?
I want at least 200 a week.
Thank you Lil. You're not going to regret this.
Seriously. Thank you so much for trusting me.
I'm gonna--
Let's give it a couple of days and see how it goes.
Yeah. Whatever you're comfortable with. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
I'm here to help and look, before long, it'll be like, we're still married.
We are still married.
Oh my God. The backyard is a mess, see?
You need a guy around you. Dude, there's a dragon fly.
Find out when, when she called you now you traveled.
-Yeah. I was in Florida. -How many days later?
This was about three days.
So she called you and said they were in a high speed--
She say I was in a high speed chase with Dante.
-Morning. -Who was chasing?
-She was chasing him. -Morning.
He was in the car.
She pulled up.
-Somebody told her where they were. -I love this show.
I watch it every day so get used to it.
And from what I was told, they were doing like a 80 down the main street.
She's trying to catch him.
And he hit a pole, a fence pole.
What do you say happened?
I was coming back from the airport, dropping her off as she stated.
And when I was at the stop sign
I had the right way to go, now, this car just came straight through the stop sign.
They ran a stop sign
and T-boned the car almost like
-they hit the front of the car. -Was this your baby mother in another car?
-No. -When she calls you and she tells you,
because I believe that conversation happened. Do you call him?
-Yes. -And what does he say?
He like, man, you know that crazy girl.
It's not my fault. She crazy.
I was trying to, he was in fear for his safety is what he told me.
-Is that what you said? -No.
I don't believe you.
Sir, you have a $500 counterclaim for emotional distress.
I cannot wait to hear this.
Hey, Lil, I'm going to borrow some of your ground beef, okay?
Okay.
Hey, Lexi.
-Hello? -Yeah.
I'm not looking too presentable
so I'm gonna let this thing go down before I go on this interview.
So few more days. Okay? All right?
Sure.
All right. Thank you.
It was before she started getting to my bed.
-Really? -Yes.
So that's what your counterclaim is about. She has caused you emotional distress.
Not baby mama number one, two, three or four but her.
-All of them do. -Okay.
They all run together.
Your-- your counter claim is dismissed, sir.
Judgment in this case paying $2902.
Not even one man shirt?
Beggars can't be choosers, Mikey.
Your last job listed is over 17 years ago.
That's quite a gap in employment.
You know, I've, I've worked almost every day for the last 17 years.
It's just, I've been self-employed.
-What line of work? -Oh, mostly entertainment.
I've been living in Los Angeles.
That's why I have the 323 area code right there in case you were wondering,
but yeah, film, television, music, entrepreneurship.
Okay. So why are you interested in working here?
-Well, I'm living here now. -Okay.
We were estranged for a while. I'll be honest, but you know,
we're both from here and you know, now that we're back living here,
we decided to, to make a run of it.
Well, we do require some experience or previous training in the service industry
and at least one reference.
Yeah, that's going to be tricky.
But I did work for Cicis pizza in '99 to 2000.
I think that branch that I worked for closed,
I put it on there, but yeah, you could contact corporate if you like.
Look, if you, if you were incarcerated, that's okay.
I just need something from your parole officer.
-Look, I'm gonna to be straight with you. -All right. I need that.
Okay. All right. Look, I'll just be honest with you. You don't recognize me, do you?
I'm an adult film actor.
Excuse me.
A porn star. Um, I'm a porn star.
I know, I've been working in the adult entertainment industry since 2001.
-And you know, even though-- -Did you say porn?
Hey. No, that was fun.
-I'm sure was. -Yeah. All the la--
Why don't you just Google me? Look up Mikey Saber.
Mikey-- Saber, S-A-B-E-R-XXX.
Go ahead. Search it.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, that's what they say.
Yeah, just pull down. Yep. That's me right there. Younger me, but--
-Oh, that certainly is you. -Yeah.
2000 movies, six awards, 13 nominations in hall of fame did that.
Now I want to start fresh and really start a new chapter, a new life with,
with you and your company, ma'am.
I'd really like to help you, but, um, my management,they would not permit this.
I'm sorry, but you are just simply
overqualified for this job.
I'm just not sure our customers would be comfortable with you waiting on them.
They may have seen one of your movies.
But later on when you get home, Google Mikey Saber XXX.
And you'll see what I'm talking about. There's some good shit.
Okay. Yeah, I'll do that.
-Thanks. -Thanks man. Take care now.
Nobody's hiring.
At least get your assistance check.
Well, I may be able to get you paced up from Brazzers or New Sensations,
but I had a falling out with one of the guys over there. It's a long story.
Okay. But you need to be a Texas resident to get benefits.
I Know. I'm residing here. I moved back in with my wife last week.
In order to be a resident you need to reside here for at least 180 days.
So why don't you come back when you can provide me with a Texas state ID
and a copy of your marriage license. Okay?
Yes, ma'am. -Also, I'm a little confused.
Is your last name Davis or Saber?
Morning, Lil.
Good morning.
This has been a test of the emergency warning system.
FOOD STORE TEXAS AVENUE FOOD STORE
Ernesto.
Me, Mikey from high school.
Mikey?
Oh, huh, Mikey. Okay. Okay.
Is your mom here?
Yeah. She's here.
Can I please speak with her really quick?
Yeah. She's out in the back.
-Whoa-- whoa, out back. -That way?
-Yeah. Out back. -Okay.
Thanks. Big dog.
He's a retarded.
Don't worry about it. You know the boy is slow.
That's why his head is so big. Don't talk about the boy.
I don't need him.
I'm just telling you to calm down. I'mma check his ass.
Pardon me. Leondria.
Hey, it's me. Mikey.
Mikey.
Remember me?
It's okay. It's been forever.
It's Lil's son-in-law, Mikey.
-Mikey. -Yeah. It's good to see you, ma'am.
-What the hell are you doing around here? -Yeah. I'm back in town.
It's so good to see you again, ma'am. You look great.
-Hey, I'm Mikey. -My daughter, June.
Oh shit, June.
I haven't seen you since--
Last time I saw you you were up to my knee.
You've grown up. Big girl now.
So why are you back, Mr. Hollywood?
Oh, oh, well--
Me and the old lady trying to give it another go.
Oh really?
So you telling me Lil letting you stay there?
Well, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know, I'm-- I'm helping out and chipping in around the house--
which is why I'm here.
Uh, so I was wondering maybe I can move some bud for you?
Like I did back in the day.
Speaking of back in the day you sound brand new.
Oh, the accent. Yeah. Yeah.
I had to lose it for the biz ma'am
but y'all know I'm still a Texas boy at heart.
-You helping Lil with the rent? -Of course.
But, uh, I'm kind of cash poor at the moment.
Do you think you could put me on front street?
Let's start with an ounce.
Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you.
-Hey, June. -Hey, darling.
-How are you doing? -I'm good. How are you doing?
You ladies have a nice day.
You too, Mikey.
-All right, girl. -Anyway, girl, so--
-Yeah. -What do you think of that?
Yeah. So I kinda changed the--
I like the color.
I bet you any goddamn week his ass gon' smoke that shit itself.
Well, I'm glad I gave him some Reggie bush.
That's what I'm talking about. You are smart, baby girl.
Pipe, and those baggies
and let me get Dutch masters.
Wait. No, no. Yeah.
Those those papers right there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a patriotic boy.
We must break free from the petty politics of the past.
America is a nation of believers, dreamers and strikers
that is being lead by a group of sanctions, critics and cynics.
You weren't bullshit.
I don't bullshit.
Just please don't give me that "nickel for a shit" again. I won't get repeaters.
It's not "nickel for a shit", son.
Much better.
Ladies.
-Hey, Leo. -Hey June.
How are you doing? How is it going?
-How are you? -Good.
Okay. Okay.
Yes.
Got 'em.
-Hello, ma'am. -Hey, are you doing today, honey?
Doing good. You got men's clothes? My size.
I got a few over here hanging out.
I like this. You think this is a good color on me?
Oh, absolutely.
Look at that. You have a fitting room or I just gotta risk it?
Yeah, I think this shirt would look real nice on you, hon.
If I buy all those clothes, throw this in for a dollar.
-Okay? -Alright. Deal.
-Sold. -Sold.
As a a token of my appreciation,
step up from your restaurant ashtrays, and okay.
This doesn't change anything.
But I do like it.
Damn. Dope ride.
Uh, yeah, man. Can I help you?
Wow. I'm next door.
I'm living next door.
Oh yeah?
Wait a second.
Shit.
You're Mikey.
Yeah.
Yeah man. It's-- it's me, man. It's me, Lonnie.
Do I know you?
Well, I mean, kinda--
I mean, I live here obviously and uh,
No, Lexi, man. Lexi used to babysit me all the time.
Oh yeah.
Yeah. My parents came home one night. Y'all were humping in their bedroom.
You jumped out the window naked.
They called the cops on you and everything.
Yup. Yup. Now I remember.
Oh shit. Your mother hates me.
Well, I mean she hated you, man. Yeah, she died.
Damn. Sorry to hear that.
No, man, It's good, man.
I mean, it happened over a year ago.
Bladder cancer, shit's a motherfucker.
Oh shit. That sucks.
But hey, we should hang out sometime, take a spin in this bad boy.
Oh yeah, man. What are you even doing back here?
Oh, it's a long story, but do you think you could take me downtown tomorrow?
We could catch up.
Yeah, dude, I would love to. I got nothing else to do.
Hell yeah. Thanks bro.
Uh-- Hey, let's just get you some shoes on this bitch. You're good to go.
-Yeah man. I can't wait. -All right.
And welcome back, dude.
Fucking Mikey man. Shit.
Fucking Mikey.
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
Hey, great life choice guys. Seriously.
Her doctor cut her pain meds in half you fucking asshole.
Yeah. Right.
Oh, this is a pimp mobile if I ever rode in one, Lonnie.
Man, I'm not gonna lie to you, Mikey.
I never thought I'd see you back in Texas city, bro.
Yeah, me neither.
God, I remember when y'all left, man.
Y'all were like celebrities, you know.
Fucking two porn stars, the couple.
Yeah, that's cool.
Oh, dude, they used to show Lexis fucking videos
at every one of the highest school parties.
And I got to brag man, because she was my neighbor.
And babysitter.
Yeah, man, and babysitter, man.
I got 800 almost 900 subscribers on my Pornhub channel
and I got one of the highest ratings and that's not just male talent.
That's overall.
I got an 81% positive click rate.
I was at this coffee shop in the valley.
And these people are like, oh shit, that's Mike Saber.
Right here, bro, go right.
Yeah, bro.
They recognized me. They're like, oh, that's Mikey Saber.
And they took a picture of me, tag me on Instagram.
And next thing you know, I had a hundred new followers.
-A hundred followers? -Yup.
I don't even have a hundred followers.
Well, if you stick with me I'll get your followers up, baby.
Jenna Haze, man.
-Huh? -Jenna Haze, man.
Oh, yeah. Jenna. Yeah.
I did at least three scenes with her, man.
She is a nasty bitch. Let me tell ya.
Make it rain on that ass. You wanna see that, cash right here.
If you'd like to see what's in-between, come on, throw some more green.
Right here, all night long.
She ran my bill up to 1500 bucks.
It's like who you calling improv, bitch.
Fuck if I know.
Shit. Yeah but she is a beautiful girl, man.
I can't hear you.
I said, yeah, but she's a beautiful girl, man.
Yeah, she's fucking banging, bro. She's banging.
Oh, God, speaking of banging--
I need a minute.
All that green right there--
If you love pussy, well, hey, don't be shy get on top side, right here right now.
Tell your girls there's more where that came from.
Hey. Whatchu doing?
I'm watching TV.
No way. What are you watching?
-None of your business. -I love that show.
Oh my God.
Hey, you uh--
You wanna hang out and stuff?
Do I want to hang out and stuff?
Yeah.
Do you wanna hook-up?
Do I wanna hook-up?
Do-- Do you wanna fuck?
Are you serious right now, Mikey?
I'm serious, keep it down. Your mom-- Shh.
Come on.
Okay. Hurry.
Can I get a drag?
Go on.
Your body looks good. You've been working out?
-What? -So we're done here.
Wait, you mean-- What-- I can't sleep here?
-No. -Really?
Come back to the sofa.
Come on now.
Jesus. Oh my God.
That was fun.
-Sophie, I fucked your mom last night. -Oh my God. Can you keep it down?
Oh. Stop. You love it.
Don't think this is going to become a regular thing.
Think you can cut the lawn today?
That's it. That's why I'm back, I'm back in town.
You seen me before, don't act like you ain't seen me.
She's acting now.
You know what, in high school, I beat this guy's ass like 25 years ago.
We had a misunderstanding on the basketball game.
♪ Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. ♪
♪ Happy-- ♪
Ma, we just want to say happy birthday. And we hope you'd have many more.
Thank you, honey.
I guess you can set it down. Thank you all for coming out.
Gina-- Gina Valentine.
-Gina, Melissa. -Yeah.
Yeah, man. You were in a bunch of her scenes.
She was in a bunch of my scenes technically,
but yeah, that was my girl after Lexi.
Bitch goes and marry some rich software dork she met in Vegas.
I think they have a kid.
They live in Salt Lake or something.
Boring fucking life.
-Wow. -Yeah.
Who do you think discovered her?
I got her signed a Renegade. I taught her the pole.
I dealt with a crazy drugged out ass for a year man.
Soon as the bitches' head gets big, they betray you.
It's what happened with Lexi, you know.
-Really? Lexi? -Yeah.
Jules Jordan bought her out from under me for 10 grand
the first chance he got, that fucker.
Wait, he bought her?
Yeah. He paid her 10 grand to betray me but the jokes on Jules though,
she went from doing Roxies to smoking tar
the minute I wasn't there to straighten her ass out.
And we were together for five years, five fucking years.
She won two AVNs under my watch.
She leaves me.
Bitch gets shot out in nine months. Couldn't book shit.
And then she goes and moves in with mommy exactly one year
after she left me high and dry.
-Shit. -Yeah. Shit is right.
Hey, is Whiskers in Galveston still open?
You're not leaving that dirty glass in the sink.
No, sir.
Okay.
Clean it up.
That's right.
We all do ours.
Okay.
Wait, where do you think you are going?
What about the others?
Those are yours too.
The last three houses I lived in, they had dishwashers.
I'm not doing the dishes. I don't do that shit.
You do not live here. This is my kitchen.
If you can't follow the rules, out, out, out.
I'm tired of you talking to me like a little kid. Hey, Lexi.
Don't you disrespect your mother-in-law.
Your mom's starting shit with me, can you please inform her I'm not a Dick?
-Why would I lie to my mother? -Oh, you too, huh?
Really? You're just going to turn on me like that.
After every-- I've been mowing the fucking lawn.
-Oh my God, you've been mowing the lawn. -What? What?
-Yeah. I've been mowing the lawn. What? -Jesus Christ, Mikey.
--dirty dishes in the sink.
But you haven't given me a dime.
I know but I'm gonna pay you guys and look
I've been walking the dog, I'm providing protection.
She's an outside dog. She doesn't need walking man.
We don't need security. Do we need a security guard, ma?
I didn't know that we hired a security guard.
Yeah, you got me. You're safe now because I'm here.
You've been drinking on my insurance.
Listen, I'm trying to get a job.
I've been looking for a job the whole time.
I want you outta here now.
Wait a minute. Wait. Wait. Listen. Listen.
-I know I said I'd help out with the rent. -You did.
- You did. -Let me finish.
I know I said I'd help out with the rent. So I'm not gonna help out with the rent.
Well get the fuck out then.
I'm gonna pay the whole goddamn thing.
Now you're talking.
August is on Mikey motherfucker. Yeah.
Look how your eyes light up like a little Christmas tree.
-The whole month. -You love this shit.
-Yes. The whole month. -Okay.
So let's go get some fucking doughnuts on me
cause I take care of shit around here
and whatever fucking doughnuts you want. Let's go.
I just wanted you guys taken care of, okay?
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
My favourite place.
I know, Lil, you love this place.
Yes.
I might have one, but I don't know. I'll have-- I'll sneak a peek.
You think it's too late for me to get coffee?
You can have one when ever you want.
I just don't think it's gonna be the best coffee in the world.
But hey, look I even got the door.
I got the door. I got the door.
Thank you.
Here we are.
-Good evening. -Hello.
Hello.
Whatever these ladies want.
I want Doughnut Holes and Jericho doughnut and a cappuccino.
There you go. Make it a large-- give her extra large cup--
What do you want? For here?
Do you want it here?
What, we're just going to go?
We're gonna eat on the road?
Give her the largest cappuccino that you got
-and whatever drink she wants. -I want a small coffee.
Give her a large. Now's the time to get a large.
Yeah. A large coffee, man, with lots of cream.
Sure.
A little bit sugar.
What are the doughnuts you want?
I'm gonna have--
I want a pink-- Yeah, pink Sparkle, please.
Give her the Pink Sparkle, whatever she wants.
Oh. Can I get a Chocolate too? Can I get a Chocolate? Thank you.
Whatever they want. Okay?
-Doughnut holes, please. -Yeah. Get the Doughnut Holes.
This is the day to get everything you want.
This is the day that the Lord helped me.
It's what money buys here.
Look at that. Huh? We got the holes. You good?
Is that enough for you guys? You should get it now while we're here.
Cause this is it. All right?
There you go. Is that one yours?
Okay. That's the cappuccino.
This one-- that's the biggest one they got.
I don't know what more do you want me to do?
-All right, guys, go ahead and sit down. -Thank you so much.
I'll grab this. How much is that?
$6.32.
Six-thirty-two.
Can I get some napkins, please?
Alrighty.
And there's your change.
Thank you kindly.
I'm gonna save the Pink Sprinkle, this one, for last.
This one, I don't know what to do with.
I don't know what to do--
I don't know what to do with it, ma.
All right. I'll have one. Just tear me half.
Eat the part that doesn't have--
I don't want the color one, just give me half of one of the doughnut balls.
-The holes. -Half of a doughnut ball?
I don't understand why it's a hole--
Well, the hole's in the middle--
That's what, where it came out of.
Fine. Okay. That makes sense.
Now this doughnut doesn't have enough sprinkles on.
-See that? -Hey, guys, can we wrap this up?
-We've got to get outta here. -Okay.
Excuse me. What?
No, ma, I am eating-- I'm gonna savor every goddamn sparkle on this doughnut.
Keep it down.
She doesn't care.
I know, but it's rude. We just came in.
I don't know why he's walking so fast.
Just hurry up.
There must be a fire somewhere.
At the bar.
-Come on. We're full of doughnut. -Okay. Come on.
I gotta pee.
Stop acting. You get so dramatic.
-What-- are you training for a marathon? -Lil, will you tell your daughter to--
Is this the Olympics? Jesus-fucking-Christ.
Are we going to fire?
Fire. What do you mean? We're going home.
-How far? -I can't run in this shoes, Mikey.
I don't wanna throw up in my kitchen.
Oh, shit. I forgot. I forgot cigarettes.
Oh, I got a pack.
And I forgot rolling papers, I will be right back.
-What? -Yup.
All right.
DONUT HOLE
Dallas Police Sergeant, Georgia Rhonda is the president
of the national Latino Law Enforcement Organization
Greater Dallas.
And also works on recruiting for the Dallas Police Department.
In the weeks after--
467 people applied to join the Dallas police department.
That's nearly a 250% increase in applicants.
Hello.
-Hi. -May I help you.
Hi. Yeah. Uh, the ginger that works here, she works Tuesdays, no?
-Ginger? -The red hair girl.
-Raylee. -Raylee. Yeah.
I call her a ginger, but Raylee. Yeah. Raylee.
Are you a friend of her?
Very good friends with her. I just wanted to come say hi. Yeah.
I always get Tuesdays and Wednesdays mixed up. So--
Yeah, she does not work Tuesdays.
Okay. Yeah. I'll just give her a call or a text.
-But, but she does work Wednesdays, right? -Yeah.
-She works Wednesday. -Okay. Thought so. Yeah.
-Do you want a doughnut? -Uh, how much?
-Top of the morning to you. -Good morning, sir. What can I grab you?
Oh, it's Mikey. Not sir. I'm not that old.
-Right, pleased to meet you, Mikey. -What's your name?
Raylee.
Raylee, it's a beautiful name.
What do you recommend?
Depends on what you like.
Um, custard one is good.
Jelly is sweet.
Glazed is a favorite.
Is that your favorite?
Oh, I might have to try that one.
Uh, what did the doughnuts do on their first date?
I beg your pardon?
What did the doughnut do in their first date?
I don't know.
They glazed into each others eyes.
-That's so stupid. -Yeah.
I can't believe I haven't heard that one.
But I wrote it. You couldn't have heard.
I kind of write doughnut jokes on the side.
It's one of my many talents.
Yeah. But I'm thinking, I don't know
maybe I'll just go with the chocolate and got to get some milk with--
Oh, you guys go ahead. I'm gonna need a minute.
-Thank you, buddy. -Hi. What can I grab you?
I would like a large coffee, please.
Uh, one Hazel Cream and two chocolate donuts.
Help yourself to the cream. And what can I get for you, sir?
I'll get a coffee, black. Filled doughnut, and that'll be it.
Sweet. Can I share the same bag?
Yes. Yes.
Good to conserve.
Your coffee is coming right after--
-Good morning. -What's the damage?
Uh, $6.32.
-There you go. -A $10.
Hey, miss Phan, can I get some help out here?
-There's your tip. -Thank you.
Next customer please.
Hey, when do things slow down around here?
-Oh, excuse me. -What time does it wind down?
We are slammed until like two-ish.
I'll see you at two.
Okay.
I'm sorry about that. Uh, what would you like?
I'm back. Just like I promised.
I'm a man of my word.
So in the future, you can always rely on me.
Back to tell more doughnut jokes.
No, that was actually the only doughnut joke I had
and it took me a very long time to write that one. That's all I got.
-Why? Do you have any? -Actually I do.
Um, what do you call a Jamaican doughnut?
Hmm. I like where this is going.
Give me a minute. Uh, Jamaican Doughnut.
I'm stumped.
Cinna-mon.
I got to go.
That was really, that hurt my feelings.
That was terrible.
That's okay. I forgive you.
So Raylee I'm thinking--
Call me Strawberry.
Call you what?
-Strawberry. -Strawberry?
-Everybody calls me that. -You're kidding.
Okay. How old are you?
-Who is asking? -Me.
-Why? -Come on.
I'm old enough.
For what?
Oh God, I'll be 18 in three weeks. Okay?
I know what you're too old for me.
Anyway, Strawberry.
Can't believe that's your name.
I don't know which doughnut to get.
I need your help.
I really liked the look of those doughnut holes and those, you know,
do you frost to do the sprinkles? Do you do those? Who makes them?
I do the sprinkles and I fill the cream.
-You fill the cream? -Yeah.
I just want the ones that you make. I want the ones that you cream filled.
Does that sound-- I don't wanna get you in trouble.
I'm thinking maybe a chocolate round or maybe I'll get a strawberry filled.
No pun intended. Actually I do.
I don't think she likes me very much.
I don't think she likes anyone very much.
Yeah. She's a mean boss.
Anyway, okay. So yes, I've decided. Chocolate round.
Okay.
But you want chocolate sprinkles,
chocolate cake, chocolate Bavarian cream?
There's all those different chocolates?
Oh no. Now I got to stay here for a few more hours and decide. Son of a bitch.
Are you trying to keep me here?
Cause I'll sit in the corner and contemplate this for a while
until you get off. What time do you get off?
It feels so fucking good.
Oh shit.
Fucking, bitch. Yeah. Do you like that?
You like that big dick inside of you.
Not bad. Huh?
Not bad at all.
I didn't even have to take one of my magic pills.
I didn't know you're using.
Yeah.
You remember how hard it is to keep it right on set all day.
Yeah.
Remember when Christina Roseanne was broken?
I do. I do.
I surprised it even works at all.
I wish it was.
Oh yeah.
Love the exterior decorating, sir.
It's looking spiffy.
All right, dad, we'll be back around five.
Do you think he remembered me?
Man, ever since my mom died,
all he cares about is keeping his place immaculate.
Matter of fact,
I've been screwed out of male performer of the year,
literally five times, but you know what?
I don't say shit. It's all good. I'm a team player.
Almost every single girl I did a scene with started fucking me off camera. Right?
But the agents hate that shit.
What do they expect?
You know, it's like, girl comes by my model house.
They see my hall of fame trophy on the medal piece.
They're like, oh my God, he's famous for fucking.
Wait, you said your model house?
I had three model houses, bro.
And the last one, Ooh, that was a Savage ass house
until I started letting agents book bottom bitches in there.
Bottom bitches?
Bottom bitches are technically the best of the hookers.
But they're still the hookers.
And that's what they started saying to me, it was the fucking hookers.
And that's when everything went to shit,
cause see, once a porn chick gets a hooker mentality
they become a fucking nightmare, a real pain in my ass.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
Dude, I forgot how hot Gulf Coast bitches are.
I saw this girl over by the doughnut shop at the Refinery.
She works there, smoking hot, gorgeous drop dead gorgeous
and get this, 17 years old.
Legal as an eagle.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
Hey man. See that strip of land over there.
Yeah.
That was the Texas killing fields, brother.
-Strawberry. -Yeah?
-You blaze, right? -Why? You a cop?
Let's go smoke one.
Hey Miss Phan, can I take my Ten.
So what'd you do in LA?
I've been in entertainment.
I knew it. You have that Hollywood vibe.
-Yeah. You dig? -Yeah.
So what'd you do in entertainment?
Manager slash agent.
-Like for actors? -Yeah.
That weed is good. Right?
Do you or your friends want any? I could get a whole bunch more.
No problem.
So you live in Hollywood managing actors.
But you're in Texas City riding a bike, selling weed
and hitting on high-schoolers?
Well, my Camaro's in LA, you know,
I wasn't going to drive all the way to Texas.
It's like a three-day drive.
All right. Look, I'm here taking care of my mom, all right?
She's not doing too well.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
You're a good son for being there for your mom.
I am.
By the way, who smokes joints anymore?
That's so old man--
That was fun. We should do that again sometime.
Yeah. I'll smoke your weed anytime.
Hey, by the way, you can move all your shit on the hard hats from the refinery.
I see them at the end of their shift and they want to kill themselves.
See you later, alligator.
In a while, crocodile.
-Oh shit. -Oh my gosh.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, Lil.
Oh, man.
I'm sorry.
I thought you found my couch comfy.
Oh, I do. I just-- I sleep out natural.
Cut the shit.
My bad.
Mikey, all seriousness.
I appreciate you taking care of bills.
That way it keeps Lexi from being on the Craigslist.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
I under-- yeah.
So I need to know, are you in or out?
If you're in, I welcome you here.
All right. Hey--
If you're out, don't let the door hit you in the ass.
-I'm in. I'm in. -Okay, fine.
I'm paying the fucking rent.
So tell me please, this is about my baby.
I don't want her getting hurt anymore.
I don't want her doing clients anymore.
It's too dangerous.
I never know when she's coming home.
So it's up to you.
I'm in, okay? I'm in.
-Okay, good. -I'm here.
-Alright? -Good.
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Anything else?
Am I good to go?
Yes.
As long as I don't see your junk anymore.
Deal.
Your mom's still a trip.
I know.
In a good way.
She is a piece of work.
That smoke, that second one from the left. Is that new?
Has that always been there?
That's always been there.
Lil calls that one old smoky.
It's my ex's truck.
Get up two years ago.
Still handsome.
Just needs new wheels.
Well, I know you guys get tested, which is why I've got this synthetic piss.
I'll throw it in free with an ounce, other than that at 10 bucks a pop.
I got you if you guys ever need it.
You know, I don't want you guys getting fired and shit.
Don't drink it.
I mean, unless you're into that kind of shit.
-Goodnight, Miss Phan. -Goodnight.
Goodnight.
See you later, Alligator.
Do you want a ride home?
No, I'm good.
Throw it in the back.
Uh, yeah?
Yeah, throw it in the back.
Okay.
-Which way? -Go left here.
We're getting close.
I really appreciate you driving me home.
It's a nice area, huh?
Just wanted to buy my mom something nice to retire.
That's real sweet of you.
All right. Yeah. It's right up here.
Yep. Right there. There it is.
Maybe would-- can you turn it down?
Cause you know, I don't want to wake up my mom.
-Well, this is fancy. -Yeah, it's nice.
I'd invite you in, but like I said,
you know, my mom's feeling sick and she don't take too kindly to strangers.
She's just not all there up there right now.
No. Yeah, probably not a good idea anyway.
Yeah, so thanks for the ride.
Anytime, I work on Wednesday.
Oh, well, I'll see you Wednesday.
-Okay. -Okay.
Look, I'm just glad weed is still illegal in Texas.
You guys have no idea how hard it is to move flower in Cali right now.
I mean, yeah. You know, I'm selling it to the bitches at my model house
but besides that felons and illegals.
Don't mess with big oil.
TCPD kids, they sent him Valero, gosh.
It goes without saying, but you know,
keeping it on the deo has been secret to my success all these years.
How do you think I stayed out of prison? How do you think I've never got shot?
Mom, where is the hot sauce?
Where the hell it always been.
No hot sauce, mom. I don't see it.
Did you look in your bedroom? You were eating pizza--
Oh my God, mom, I don't-- Where's the hot sauce?
Why would he take it in his room?
You laughing, but you were eating pizza there.
Mom, I've checked everywhere in the kitchen. Where's the hot sauce?
Hey man. What are you looking at? This ain't got nothing to do with you.
The world would collapse without me.
Did you check under your bed?
Hey, yo--
So heard you do porn or something?
Five AVNs.
What-- that's an STD?
No, no, no.
It's the, uh, it's the adult film awards.
It's like the academy awards for what I do.
-Oh, okay, man. That's what's up? -Yeah.
Best oral three years in a row.
-Best oral? -Yep.
Just one question-- Ain't that about getting head?
I mean, you know, something like that.
So then what that gotta do with you?
It's not like you're the one doing any work or anything.
I'm not doing the work?
Sister, let me tell you something.
Hey man, don't call me sister.
Oh, my bad, June, right? It's June?
Alright, June. Look,
if I won three years in a row
with three different girls, the chances it of being the girl, pretty limited.
Think about it.
No, seriously, look, I'm the one guiding the girl in the scene.
Essentially, I'm face fucking here.
Pardon my language.
So, you know, the female really has nothing to do with it.
You know, I'm the one that's holding her head for like 15 or 20 minutes
while I'm force fucking her.
So how is that about her exactly?
-I got it, man. -No, seriously look.
It's about the shit I say.
The way I hold their face towards the camera while she spits
and drools all over herself and I pinched her nose and make her gag.
-It's all techniques. -I said, I got it.
Thank you.
Thanks, dude.
Man, this place is off the chain.
Thank you so much for hooking this up.
My pleasure.
So tell me more about LA.
Maybe you should find out for yourself.
You think I have the money to go?
You got a truck.
-You could go anytime you want. -That's my momma's truck.
She just lets me use it. Cause she works from home.
Well, when I left Texas city I didn't have a dime.
I just said to myself, Mikey, one day, you're going to own this town.
I just went for it. You know?
What is he doing behind the counter?
He's gonna help me with my SAT prep.
No free donuts.
Thank you.
So you were saying something about just going for it.
Are you trying to get fired?
I'm trying to get hired.
Are you going to help me score high on the SATs?
Yeah. You get 600 points just for signing your name, you know?
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
-Hi, what can I get for you today? -Hey, sweetie, can I get a two--
two chocolate covered doughnuts and a medium coffee?
All right.
Good afternoon, sir.
You're crazy. You know that?
You could have just waited till now, you know?
Where is the fun in that?
Come here.
Yo, Lonnie.
Wait up.
What's up, man?
What up, Big dog? Where are you going?
Man, some errands. I got to go to the mall, stuff like that.
Cool. I'm rolling with you.
Just warning, man. I'm gonna be gone all day.
Just, so--
If you don't wanna go, I mean--
Whatever. I just gotta get the fuck out of here. Let's go.
She's smoking hot.
She made the first move.
She's got no dad and here's the kicker.
She lets me sell weed to the hardhats at her work.
I mean does it get any better than this?
I didn't know you served.
Uh, oh yeah. Yeah, I did, man.
Thank you for your service.
Yeah, man. No problem,
Man, this place ain't changed much in 15 years, Lonnie.
Yeah, I know for real, man.
Hey, um--
I think I'm gonna be hanging out over here for a while. Okay?
Okay. Yeah. I'll meet you back here in 30. All right?
-30 minutes? -Yeah.
All right. Sounds good.
Oh, come on, it's--
So what's this one then?
Uh, that's the one I got when I was in Afghanistan and uh,
that's from my three tours in Iraq.
Bullshit. You're not even wearing the proper infantry uniform.
Well, yeah, of course I am.
What's the army uniform regulation, the code?
Uh, to do my best, to do my duty and to serve my country?
You sure it's not AR 670-1.
Uh, you guys know-- there's a lot of different codes in the military.
Stolen valor right here, folks.
This man is not a veteran.
He's a fake and a fraud.
Give me those back. Those are mine.
We'll take your jacket off.
This is bullshit. What do I have to do to convince y'all--
Take it off or I'm gonna fucking kick your ass.
Hey, man.
Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot.
Wait, what?
Really? I would think someone in your position would know what that means.
Oh shit. Yeah, man, I--
I kind of have like a full bathroom mishap in there.
Oh, man, little bathroom mishap.
Oh, you sure you didn't get pushed in the fountain?
Shit.
-You fucking saw that, man? -Dude, I saw the whole fucking thing, bro.
You think I'm stupid?
I can't be associated with that shit, bro.
That's fucked up
that you would let me be a part of your fucking bullshit scheme, dude.
I'm fucking pissed.
Dude, what if someone recognized me?
People know who the fuck I am, Dog.
That's whack. You need help bro.
It's fucking scandalous, dude.
I'm sorry, man.
Shit, my bad.
♪ I see all my friends in hallelujah square ♪
♪ What a wonderful time ♪
♪ We'll all have at there ♪
♪ We'll sing and praise Jesus ♪
♪ What a glory to share ♪
♪ And you'll not see a cripple in hallelujah square ♪
♪ And we'll all live forever in hallelujah square ♪
-Wow. -Yes.
That dope sure makes you guys religious, huh?
Just a friend.
Seems like a very friendly friend.
Yeah.
It's whatever.
So I blew him in Junior Prom.
At Junior prom?
No, not at, after. You know what I mean.
Anyways, I blew him in Junior Prom
and ever since then he's been clingy as fuck.
Is he stalking you?
No. No. We hated shit.
You fucking him?
When I feel like it.
It's not like a real thing.
This guy thinks you're dating.
-No. -Raylee, I need need you inside.
-Okay. -And I told you not to smoke in front.
Sorry.
So you're going to keep fucking him?
That depends.
Does he know that?
Alright. What's this guy's name?
Nash.
Nash?
Alright, look.
I think it's time Nash got it that you guys aren't dating.
Come on.
Wait. What?
God. This is crazy. This is crazy. This is insane.
I can't believe we're doing this right now.
Like maybe it's not such a good idea, you know?
It will be quick and easy.
He'll get the message.
Okay. No fighting. Okay?
I just wanna talk to him.
You promise?
This is crazy.
Now what?
Is this the house?
Oh my God.
Wow. That's his mom?
Hello, ma'am. Would you be so kind as to send Nash out, please?
Hi, Mrs. Parker.
Nice necklace, fucking dork.
What is this? What's going on?
Hey buddy. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you ain't with Strawberry.
You never were. She's with me now. You understand?
Raylee, what is this?
I've been tryna tell you, Nash.
All right. Look, bro, so you're not gonna call her, not gonna text her.
You're not going to go by the Donut Hole anymore. You understand me?
Raylee, come on, I need to talk to you.
Whoa, whoa--
Hold on. Hold on.
Whoa, hey, no fighting. Okay?
Just stay in the car, babe.
All right. Come here. Google me.
Take out your phone right now and Google Mikey Saber.
Do it. You got your phone on you?
What the fuck are you talking about?
-No fighting. -Babe. It's okay.
20.1 million views on PornHub, bro.
I'm not fucking with you.
Strawberry's in a different league now.
Do you understand me?
You can't compete with someone that fucked 1300 bitches. Do you get what I'm saying?
Hey, let's not cause a scene.
What are you doing? Who is this?
-Come on. -I'm with him now.
You heard it from her mouth. She's with me.
Are you serious?
-Come on. -I'm sorry, dude.
-It was fun though. -It wasn't fun.
Oh my God.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Yeah. You will.
Life's sweet, Sophie, life is sweet.
X equals negative B plus minus the square root of B squared minus four C all over to A.
What-- that's geometry?
Algebra.
Shit.
All right. Relax.
No. That's Nash.
That's Nash? Shit.
I think this time I had a man to man with this kid.
No fighting.
You know what, I'm tired of your fucking shit, bro.
I'm not afraid to fight you. I don't give a fuck.
What? This is your mommy and daddy. You brought them to the dance.
You can't handle your shit by yourself, huh, tough guy?
Sir, your son is fucking with my girlfriend. It ain't cool any--
No. Stop.
Fuck. Nash, what the fuck?
I'm not with you anymore.
-Fuck you. You cheated on me. -No, I didn't. We were never together. No.
You go in my home, threatening my son motherfucker?
Really took three of you to fuck me up. You're a pussy.
What are you talking about? What do you mean you're not with him anymore?
From the start I fucking said I never wanted to be with you.
It was like a casual fucking thing.
Fuck that shit you wanted me.
-You're a little slut. -No--
You're a fucking slut.
Hey, don't call my momma that.
-What the fuck? -You ain't got nothing to say?
You come near my house again, you'll be leaving in a body bag, bitch.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
He should go to the hospital.
Yeah, maybe you should go to the hospital.
No. It's not that bad.
And plus I don't have health insurance anyway but thank you, Miss Phan.
-Okay. Now, stop moving. -Alright.
-There's no fighting in my parking lot. -He flat out sucker punched me.
I would have hundred percent out cardio that guy.
Fuck. Sorry for swearing.
Oh shit.
Be careful. That's where he kicked me.
That's where he kicked me. That fucking little bitch.
Shit. Am I bleeding on my head? Fuck.
We both gonna be hurting tomorrow.
Why is that?
Let's just say you're blessed.
Yeah. I can't believe I'm attracted to a ginger.
You're not allowed to use the G word.
You have a type?
Maybe.
What's your type?
Let's just say, I like men, not boys.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I think I have the wrong house.
Yeah. Cause I saw you parked in front of my house last night, too.
No, it's as simple mistake. I'm new in town.
If I see you around here again--
No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.
Honestly, if shit was different,
I could take over the industry with her.
You think so?
Yeah, within six months I could see her nabbing best newcomer.
One year and she would sweep the AVNs.
Tori Black-- you know who Tori Black is?
Yeah, man, of course, I know Tori Black is.
Uh, she won performer of the year, two years back to back. Right?
I think that Strawberry's got the potential.
I'm not exaggerating. I really believe this.
I think-- I think she could win three years in a row
with my guidance, of course.
Doesn't matter. I'm stuck in this shit hole anyway.
Yeah, man, it's gonna be kinda awkward, anyway.
She's gonna have to bang all those other fucking guys on scene.
I don't give a fuck.
I'll be fucking other bitches, bro.
Come on.
I think it's hot. I don't care.
Okay, man.
Seriously, it's part of the game.
That was nice.
You wanna explain those bruises?
I fell off my bike.
Must have been a hard fall.
This is eight, I need 10.
I'm moving a lot of weight for you guys. Huh?
I like those gold teeth.
I got one dia-- I got one diamond I had my dentist in Cali put in. So--
You need to get your ass outta here, man.
All right. Say hi to your mom for me.
These refinery boys are the best.
They buy way more weed than these skaters and dancers I gotta deal with.
-Dancers? -Yeah, from the titty bar.
Strippers.
They prefer the term dancers.
Young lady, show some respect.
Okay.
Topless dancers.
Oh, bottomless too, when they got it off.
Really?
Yeah. You've never been?
Why would I've been? Plus, I'm not even old enough to get in.
You wanna go?
Seriously?
Hello.
-How old is she? -18.
20 bucks.
You are hotter than all of these girls combined.
If you worked here, they'd be outta their job.
You give a tip?
Give it to them. It's fine. Go.
Right here. Right here.
-Here? -Yeah. Go in there.
Just gotta get some milk.
Well,
Goodnight.
I can-- I can wait and drive you all the way home.
Oh no, it's okay.
I like to ride my bike at night.
Okay.
But technically that was our first date.
So you just brought me to a strip joint for our first date.
-Real classy. -Ooh, snap.
Well, I guess we got to do it again.
You wanna go to the pier Friday night?
Pete's liver and onions at Louie's.
I love Louie's.
Daddy wanna play?
I don't know if I'm feeling it.
I can feel it.
-Just not-- -Nice and fast.
I don't think it's happening today.
Don't you wanna get in me?
Yeah. Don't you wanna get in this pussy?
I don't feel it. I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling it.
Jesus Christ. Okay. Okay.
What?
It's fine. Whatever, I didn't want to anyway.
Lonnie.
Don't be tied up all day.
-Hey, Lonnie-kanes. -Hey, Lexi. What's up?
Not much. What are you doing?
Ah, you know, working around with the old man.
Nice.
Same shit different day.
I know. I know.
What are you doing?
I'm just-- you know, getting some air.
Some sunshine.
So you and Mike have been hanging out, huh?
Yeah. It's been fun having him in town.
-Oh, really? -Yeah.
Is he giving you money for all those rides you giving him?
No.
I mean, I don't mind we're buds.
I know y'all don't got one set of wheels right now. So--
No, we don't. Not right now.
-You've been working out? -No.
-You look good. -Thanks.
You're sure you haven't been working out?
I'm positive.
Can't call you scrawny Lonnie no more. Can they?
-You keep Mikey out of trouble, you hear? -I'll try.
I know you will.
-It was good seeing you. -Good seeing you. Take care.
There's a lot of rides. We could do the roller coaster.
I'm not tall enough. I think it's like 48 inches or whatever.
I'll give you a 48 inches all day long.
I'm sorry, that was too easy.
But I got you, it's like, if you get scared, just grab on something.
I'll hold your hand.
So after this, are you gonna fuck me on to the boardwalk?
You sexy little exhibitionist, you know that?
Look who is talking.
Wait. What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
Mr. Saber.
Oh my God.
The second I broke up with Nash
my Facebook blew up with everyone and their fucking grandmas
sending me links to your videos.
And you're cool with it?
Would I be here if I gave a shit?
I actually think it's kind of dope.
I think it's cool. You just said:
Fuck it.
I'm going to get paid for doing the thing I love most.
And as long as you're not hurting anybody, you do you, man.
But if you give me something, I swear to fucking God.
Thus porn folks are most tested people on the whole planet.
I mean, think about it. We gotta get tested to work, you know.
-Maybe I gave you something. -Oh, don't even kid.
I posted a nude online once.
I can never tell if you're joking or if you're serious.
My friends and I were messing around and that subreddit gone wild.
We were just trying to see how much attention we could gain
and we weren't even naked.
We had like our stuffed animals like that, you know?
But this old guy in Ohio
propositioned us to sell the nude pic.
And I did. And he Venmo-ed me 60 bucks.
60 bucks?
You're a bad, bad girl.
The 60 bucks ain't shit.
You should get at least double that.
Were you planning on never telling me?
Yeah.
It's not something you drop on a civilian.
A civilian. Is that what I am?
Yeah, you don't have to be.
For real?
Look. I'm gonna be straight with you.
I've been in the business almost 20 years and nobody,
nobody comes close to you.
Straight up, you could be a huge star, I'm just saying.
You are funny.
Look, I'm already about to have a very awkward senior year.
I'm not about to have a very awkward rest of my life.
Hey.
Hey Mikey, how are you doing?
I'm good. What are you doing here?
Just catching up with Lil and Lexi. Catching up on some old stuff.
Shooting the breeze.
Sounds like it.
Let me know next time.
I'll make some steaks.
Hang out with you guys.
-Sounds great. -Yeah.
Sound like a plan.
Ladies, I'mma get up outta here.
It's getting late, but your hospitality was good.
The conversation was boss.
-See you. -Absolutely.
See you again, Lily.
-My baby. -Please come back.
I will. I will.
-Take care of yourself, baby girl. -You too.
All right. Mikey, I'm sure, I'll see you soon.
Yep. You will.
Good night.
God bless you.
Did it come through?
Yeah. Bullshit.
You see her?
She's fucking smoking, right?
You're not going to believe this dude.
Her name is Strawberry.
-What? -Fucking strawberry.
You can't make this shit up, man.
Yeah. Has there even been a strawberry before?
Oh, she's my way back in, man.
I'm telling you, this is like a Jenna Jamieson, Sasha Grey level find here.
Fuck. I'm blessed. I'm so fucking blessed.
See, this is my talent.
I could be a bad-ass scout.
I got my finger on the pulse of next generation, baby.
How you know she's gonna be down for this, man?
Oh, she's down. Trust me. She's down.
Plus, she sucks on my fingers while I'm fucking her, bro.
-Oh yeah? That's cool. -Yeah. That's cool.
You know what that means?
She likes fingers.
You're so cute.
Means she likes having a Dick in her mouth while getting fucked.
It's a tell-a-tell sign, bro.
-Oh yeah. -Yeah.
Anytime a girl puts something in her mouth while fucking
either they're familiar with that scenario
or they're intrigued by that scenario.
Think about it, man.
It's just logic.
I never thought about it that way.
Yeah man. You know, that's what Lexi did.
When he first started dating, Lexi would suck on my fingers
while I was fucking her.
That's what schooled me to the knowledge that she had slept with
more than one dude at a time before.
So when I proposed a threesome,
she was in, she didn't fight it, she fucking loved it.
-Huh? -Yeah.
Well, what do you think Lexi is gonna think about all this though?
Dude, Lexi's the bane of my fucking existence, man.
Everything that's gone wrong in my life for the last 15 years,
pretty much steps back to her.
I've forgiven her over and over again.
I overlooked so much shit in the name of forgiveness.
But it doesn't matter. She always fucks me--
Hey, how you doing, sir?
Go look up the Lexi Lane Ashley Blue gang-bang. In the end I'm fucking Ashley.
So I wasn't paying attention.
Lexi starts badmouthing me to the male talent on camera
saying that I'm limp dick and shit, and that's a total fucking lie.
Of course I can get it up. Right?
I didn't know this until the fucking DVD came out.
I wanted to knock that bitch out.
Anyway, don't say shit. That stays between us.
-I got you brother. -You got the next set.
-Here is your tip. -Thank you.
So I joined your Pornhub page.
-You watching my scenes? -Checked out a few.
I watched the one you won best oral for.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Not that it's not hot watching you, but like--
Yeah?
So the girl plus all the guys she's blown--
Hello, Mr. Mikey.
Hi, Ms. Phan.
Uh, I swept outside and watered the plant for you.
Great.
So the girl plus all the guys she's blowing win the award?
Right.
But we all share it, the award.
Okay. But like she's on her knees blowing the line of guys.
It's like her scene.
Why are you winning an award for it?
Okay, well. That's up for discussion.
Anyway you shouldn't be watching that stuff.
You know, just pretend it doesn't exist. Don't watch that stuff.
It's not good.
I'm sorry.
-Did I hurt your feelings? -No, it's okay.
Sorry. I should've asked if it was okay if I watched.
Check out the Fast & the Furry-Ass paradise.
-Are you serious? -Hell yeah. Fast & Furry-Ass.
Yeah. I love it.
Love it. Right? I play Brian O'Connor, that's Paul Walker's character.
And my acting was next level, seriously. I mean, my scenes were miles above
the other scenes.
To this day, people tweet me like oh you were the perfect O'Connor.
I was actually even nominated for that role, best supporting actor in a parody.
But I didn't win.
It was a big snap of the night.
It was booze and everything. It was crazy.
And then Paul Walker goes and gets himself killed,
which is such a bummer because then I'm fucked out of the sequels.
-That sucks. -Yeah.
So--
You wanna come over this weekend?
Come over. What? To your place?
Yeah. We could spend Saturday night there.
No, no. I'm not into the whole meet the parents.
You think that I'd introduce you to my mom?
Are you fucking kidding me? No. God, no, no.
She'll be out of town.
She got a new boyfriend
and they're going to Houston to fuck themselves silly.
So we got the place to our own, to fuck ourselves even sillier.
-Mikey? -Yeah.
You haven't even asked about Eric once.
You got my Facebook message when it happened.
We chatted.
My heart goes out to you. It was a terrible thing.
So--
any word on your getting custody or whatever?
Yeah.
Well, I was thinking--
I have a maintenance CPS next week.
And I was thinking you could come with me.
And we could tell the caseworker.
Her name's Marianne. She's real nice. And she's trying to help me out.
And we could tell her about how things are going well here.
And you know--
like you and me and all.
Because I mean--
if things are going well here, you and me and all, and I get clean test--
And that's gonna happen?
No wonder they took him.
You right back to where you were, and over it all over again.
Where's his dad in all this shit anyway?
Why doesn't he step the fuck up? Seriously.
Better yet, why doesn't Leondria go with you being that
she's so concerned with our fucking business?
You know what? Fuck this place.
I'm going to go watch TV with your mom.
Don't judge. Okay?
Uh, why would I do that?
You're talking to a boy who grew up in Texas City.
So I'm not going to judge anything.
-This is it? -Yeah.
Oh, I take it back.
This place is a shit hole. Can you take me home please?
All right. Ta-da.
Wow. Luxurious.
Can't smoke in here by the way. My mom's trying to quit.
That's okay.
Is this you?
Yeah. That's the first selfie I ever took.
Vintage.
Do you want a Coke?
Yes.
And that's your mom?
Yep. And that's my grandma and that's me and that's me and that's me.
Cute. What's back here?
Uh, that's my mom's room.
I am right here.
Wow.
Pink.
It's supposed to make you happy or something.
Yeah.
Wow.
So tell your mom I'm moving in.
Do you feel the sunshine?
By the way, what sign are you?
Why?
I mean, I don't even believe in astrology, but I'm just asking.
A bad sign.
I don't believe in that shit either.
Yeah.
You know, before this place was about black Gold, it was about black ivory?
Oh yeah? -Yeah.
I don't understand.
Slave trade, silly.
Slaves were sold here.
Something like famous French pirate ran the show.
A French pirate? I bet he had really good style.
I bet he dressed good.
When I was little,
my mama would take me out here and we'd go hunt the pirate booty.
I love pirate booty.
Tell me more.
I'm coming to get ya.
This is prime Texas beef right here.
This might be the one thing this place has above LA.
Besides you, of course.
You're like an extraterrestrial around here.
And when I look at you, I don't think Gulf coast.
Well, besides the sexy draw.
Jerk, it's not that bad.
It's pretty bad.
Stop making fun of me.
I'm not, I had one but I lost it.
After living in LA for a while, you lose it and
I remember being at work.
when I first got there and these guys make fun of me,
cause I was like, hi, I'm Mikey.
They all said you sound like a dumb hick.
So yeah, just lost it.
Well, not a year or so and I'm outta here.
Why wait?
I told you, mula.
I didn't have any money when I left.
I have no friends, no connections.
I'll be your friend.
I'll be your connection.
Don't fuck with me.
I'm not.
This is nice.
Hold up. Got an idea.
Yo, what are you doing?
Let's shoot a scene.
For us. Just for us.
All right. If we do that, we are using my phone.
Why? You don't trust me?
You can lose your phone, motherfucker.
Well. Then it would be on me.
True that.
Look at it.
You see that?
See how good you are.
You film it. Here, take it.
-It's so hot. -I know.
You're telling me.
Look at that. You know how to play to the camera and everything.
You see how you make sure your face is always seen.
And you're aware of the camera.
That's skill right there.
That's crazy.
If this doesn't show you that you could be a star, I don't know what will.
Do you really think so?
I know so.
I'm not into that swinger stuff though.
Swinger stuff?
Yeah. I like fucking you and I don't want to fuck anybody else.
And I don't want to think about you fucking other girls.
It would be just us.
It's called couple scenes.
It will be exclusive. Just me and you getting paid to do what we just did.
Shit. You would've made $2,000 for that video right there.
-How many times did you come? -Three times.
You would have been paid two grand to come three times.
I'm not that good at math, but that's a really good deal.
I have to sleep on it but
it's not like I don't already have the porn star name.
Right?
You play?
No, I eat off of it.
Such a smart-ass.
Yeah. Since I was six.
You wanna play me something?
Are you gonna make me?
Okay.
♪ I am doing this tonight ♪
♪ You are probably gonna start a fight ♪
♪ I know this can't be right ♪
♪ Hey baby ♪
♪ Come on ♪
♪ I loved you endlessly ♪
♪ When you weren't there for me ♪
♪ So now it's time to leave. ♪
♪ And make it alone ♪
♪ And I know that I can't take no more ♪
♪ It ain't no lie ♪
♪ I want to see you out that door ♪
♪ Baby bye bye bye ♪
♪ Don't really want to make it tough ♪
♪ I just want to tell you that I've had enough ♪
♪ It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie ♪
♪ Baby bye bye ♪
♪ I don't know the ending yet Bye ♪
So--
Where were you?
I texted you.
I was gone for the weekend.
Yeah, I know.
That's not my question.
Where were you?
Are you serious right now?
Yeah, I'm fucking serious.
I was in this cute little town called none of your fucking business, Texas.
How about that's where I was?
-Were you? -Yeah.
Sounds like a lot of fun. I hope you had a good fucking time.
What the fuck was that, huh?
Hey, Lil. Come get your daughter.
Mikey, go fuck yourself.
Okay. Look. Look.
Look.
I was making us money. Okay?
I had to go down to Corpus Christi to pick up some shit for us.
-I don't believe you. -You don't believe me?
Four weeks ago I had zilch, huh?
Now I got 3K.
Look at it.
Give me a fucking break.
How long was the last time you had money like that under your fucking roof? Huh?
Now, if you want me to keep paying for rent and food, shut the fuck up.
And I'm not cleaning that shit up either.
-She's in man. She's fucking in. -Yeah. she's in?
Yeah, but I'm still ironing out the details, but guaranteed
I'll have her shooting scenes by September, baby.
That's pretty impressive though, man.
Three weeks, you convince the girl to do porn.
Like what the fuck?
I couldn't convince my first girlfriend
to give me a blow job for three fucking years.
Hey man, what can I say, baby?
I'm good at what I do.
So that means you're gonna be leaving.
Yeah, I'm leaving.
Well, when are you leaving?
But basically I just need enough to float us until she starts shooting.
I'm thinking I can have that by end of August. Easy.
It's gonna suck for you to go.
I know, man. It's gonna suck, not hanging with you anymore
Lonnie, you my guy, but dude
I'm on top of my game right now on like every single possible level.
Physical, stamina, my mind is sharp.
Now that I'm making money, I'm taking 5-HTP for serotonin in my brain.
Dude, with my skill and ability and my identic memory shit,
there's no denying what I could do.
The universe is on my side, bro.
Yeah.
Saber Entertainment's first signed contract girl, Strawberry.
-Huh, you like that? -I do. Yeah.
Just strawberry.
No need for anything fancy.
All the biggest celebrities have one name, Cher, Prince, Madonna
Oh. I'm getting an LLC for Saber entertainment.
Yeah.?
I had a DBA for Mikey Saber, but uh, I didn't pay my annual fee, so it expired.
And I had a falling out with my old business partner,
but I do have Mike Saber trademarked.
-That's cool. -Yeah.
Oh, it's gonna be a big announcement at Adult Con, bro.
-Yeah? -Yeah, dude.
You know what, that small town life it's just ain't for me, man, no offense,
but like I'm a big city guy, you know. Dude, if you want
I could hook you up with Leondria so you can have my clientele.
-Hell yeah. -Yeah.
I just don't want you selling fucking flags for the rest of your life
you know what I mean?
Here's the exit right here, bro.
Oh shit.
Dude, we're fucked, dude, we're fucked.
I fucking know, man.
We're fucked.
Oh my God, Lonnie, why did you fucking pull off like that?
I didn't do anything, man,
I just fucking took the turn like you fucking asked me to, man.
Stop the car, man. Stop the fucking car.
Stop.
Where are you going?
Listen, listen, Russell, look at me.
I was never with you. You don't know me.
I don't know you. This never happened.
Are you listening to me?
What are we going to do?
We? You did this. Not me.
Look at me. You don't know me? Say it.
You don't know me. Say it.
I don't remember you, man.
Fuck.
Jesus Christ, what the fuck, Mikey?
Fuck.
-Mikey, are you okay? -Yeah, I'm-- no, I'm fine.
Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks.
-You scared the shit out of me. -I just don't feel good.
-Are you sure you're okay? -Yeah. Thank you.
According to authorities, the 22 car pileup was caused by
a reckless driver that fled the scene.
I hope they find who's responsible for this.
Better not be a drunk driver.
Oh, they will find him.
Told you some kind of CSI or something, investigation.
Can you guys keep it down? I can't hear the--
Oh, I'm sorry, Mikey, he gives a shit about it.
Shut up. I can't hear the announcer.
I can't hear anything cause you're talking. Jesus Christ.
Witnesses say that the reckless driver crossed from the far left lane
in front of a semi-truck causing the truck to jack-knife
resulting in a chain reaction crash that came out of nowhere.
Hey, how you doing?
Yeah, everything's good.
Uh, yeah, we're just watching the news.
Shit's crazy. Right?
I know.
Um, look, some business stuff came up, so I'm not sure I can make it tonight.
No, no, it's all good. Just some business stuff I got to take care of.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay. Bye.
Oh my God. There's fucking cops outside of fucking Lonnie's.
Someone's going down.
What?
The sheriff's here too.
Holy shit.
Oh my God, Ma, the news.
Fucking news is here. I'm gonna go check it out.
Wait.
Thank you, Nathan, Texas city resident,
Lonnie Hill is in custody at the Galveston county jail.
He is scheduled to make his court appearance this afternoon--
Good morning.
Morning.
-I'm gonna get some milk. -Okay.
Watch your bike out there, man.
I spoke to the neighbor of the individual
allegedly responsible for the incident last night.
But it's shocking.
I mean, I have known him forever.
They got him, man.
Son of a bitch.
$3.
Great, great neighbor.
Hey. They've been playing my interview all morning.
I should've put on some makeup, I look like shit.
Mr. Hill has no prior convictions.
However, this isn't his first run-in
with the Galveston county district attorney's office.
In 2014, Mr. Hill had Stolen Valor charges filed against him,
which were subsequently dropped.
That's all for now.
Lonnie's fucked.
State Highway 146 in Texas City remains closed
while cleanup crews continue to remove wreckage from the southbound lanes.
Michael, I'm fixing to make supper,
What would you like? Cinnamon --
or chicken pot steak?
I ain't hungry, Lil.
Suit yourself.
I'm just tied up at work with a client for a little bit, but yeah,
I should be able to meet up soon.
The residence of Lonnie Hill, the driver responsible for the
chain reaction crash that took place on highway 146 on Tuesday.
We have not received any comments from his family at this time.
Okay. Let's do it again.
Yo, Lonnie's lawyer's talking.
My client Lonnifer Hill will remain in custody for the time being,
but he is cooperating fully with the Galveston county police department.
My client has prepared a statement that I would like to read.
My era of judgment
has led to irreversible ramifications and I am deeply sorry
to those I've affected and hurt.
I panicked and wrongfully left a crash site.
I take full responsibility for my actions and will accept the consequences.
Thank you.
Three, the individuals who sustained serious bodily injury
remain under close observation at John Sealy hospital.
Back to you in the studio.
Sweet little Lonnie-kanes.
What did you do?
Thank you.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank--
-Strawberry, our lives are about-- -Hello, stranger.
Oh, sorry guys.
Sorry, Ms. Phan.
Strawberry, I need to talk to you outside now. Come.
Look,
I've been doing some real soul searching.
That pile up that happened here the other day
that shit affected me.
Life could change on a dime.
You could've been in one of those cars.
I could have been in one of those cars.
Life would be so different right now.
Look, I was going to wait a few weeks to ask you.
-What? -Are you proposing to me?
No. Chill. Look, we gotta get outta here.
That shit that happened on 146, that was a sign.
You do what makes you happy today
because there might not be a tomorrow.
Look, I want you to celebrate your 18th birthday in LA with me.
I want you to follow your destiny and I wanna be right there next to you
to help you follow it.
So what do you say?
Let's start a new life together.
Get the fuck out of this dead and shit hole town, okay?
You mean like now?
We'll leave tomorrow and we'll be in LA by Monday, babe.
Oh my gosh, Mikey.
-I think I'm dreaming. -Me too.
Ms. Phan, I have to quit.
I love you guys but I'm going to LA with Mikey.
Thank you for all the free donuts Ms. Phan.
So we're going to leave at 10:00 AM. Okay?
I'm gonna get a car, I'm gonna pick you up.
You got a car?
Well, we'll get a taxi.
I'm gonna have a taxi pick us up and take us to this station.
And we're taking a bus to Hollywood baby.
Okay.
So just be packed and ready to go at 10, but just bring one bag.
Cause when we get to LA, we're going to buy all new shit.
-Mikey? -Yeah.
You make me so happy.
-Hey. -Hey.
Is Lil here?
She's sleeping.
It's been a crazy month, huh?
It sure is.
-Poor Lonnie. -Oh God.
That's so fucked up.
-I hope he's all right. -Yeah. Me too.
Yeah.
It's just been so wild and we've been fighting and all that stuff.
-I'm not, I'm not really in the mood. -Huh?
I'm not really in the mood. I'm sorry.
-Yeah. -Just saying.
-Okay. -Okay.
It's been fighting a lot with a lot of drama lately and
we don't want to fight, you know what I mean?
I know you don't want that. I don't want that.
So yeah.
Look, I'm--
I'm just gonna tell you,
I'm going back to California in the morning.
So--
-I mean-- -You're going back to California?
Yeah.
I got some work.
So that's good.
And--
You know, this has not been going good with us.
It's so much drama, throwing coffee pots. We don't need that.
You know, and, but this has been fun,
you know, we had some good times, I know--
It just feels like, uh, it just feels like it's time to go, you know?
I'm sure Lil's ready for me to go.
Yeah.
I don't wanna fight with you, you know what I mean?
But we had good times as always.
And-- thank you for the hospitality.
It's been great.
So--
You know, I wanted to tell you and Lil together,
but I guess I could just tell her in the morning.
Before I go, or if I don't see her,
I can-- I'll call her or something, thank her.
But--
So I'm gonna go to bed.
Okay?
We're good?
You understand?
Oh. Look at this cutie-pie.
Hey yo, B, hit the light.
Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.
Yo!
What the fuck?
Oh God, I'm dead.
Look at this scared motherfucker, man.
June?
It's me, homeboy.
The fuck?
That's right.
What are you doing out here?
Money. Weed. Get your shit and get the fuck out.
June, what the fuck? I'm good with your mom.
-What are you talking about? -You good with my Momma?
Yeah, nah.
This is your eviction notice, Mikey.
I don't think you got the message.
No. Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?
-I'm good with your momma. -She sent us here.
Give me my phone. I'm calling Leondria.
That shit's not an option.
-Where the hell your money at? -No. Fuck you.
I'm not giving you shit. I'm not telling you where my fucking money is. Fuck you.
-Damn. -What the fuck?
-What are you doing? -Motherfucker's naked.
The money is under the mattress.
Under there.
It's on the other side, it's under the mattress.
Go on. Get there, B.
Get that money. Get that money.
I'm sorry, Mikey.
That's my money. Hey, that's my fucking money.
What are you doing?
Look, I was gonna leave tomorrow. Give me that shit back. Come on.
-Out tonight. -Oh, fuck you, Lil.
I don’t give a fuck about you.
I don't give a fuck about nothing that they got going on over here.
I'm here for motherfucking job.
-Give me that shit. -Get your ass back.
-What are you doing, man? -Thank you so much.
I see. You bitches played me.
Oh, this is fucking great. This is just great.
-Fuck you. -So much fucking money.
I can't believe she called me over here for this shit, man.
Fuck you. I paid for August rent.
Now give me my Mom weed, homeboy.
-I'm not telling you where the weed's at. -I'mma fuck you up.
You got my money. You're not getting my weed.
-It's right over there actually. -You fucking bitch.
Oh, it is so hot in here, ma. Are you hot?
Oh ma--
I'll fucking lunch kick you and your mom.
You got the green belt. You going to do some of those moves?
-Fuck you, bitch! -Shut the fuck up, Mikey.
Relax, Ernesto.
-Get him out, guys. -Go get your shit and get out.
And don't even think about stepping foot in Texas City again.
You got me?
Ain't no lie. Baby, bye, bye, bye.
Can I put my clothes on, please?
Can you just give me some privacy so I can put my clothes on, please?
You got 30 motherfucking seconds, homeboy.
30 seconds cause you're wasting my time.
Okay.
-That's less than a minute, Mikey. -Yeah, I'll give you less than a minute.
You hear me? 30 seconds.
All right, let me get changed. Jesus.
Motherfucker.
Hurry the fuck up.
One, two,
three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, 30.
Oh, man. Mom is gonna kill me.
♪ You just hit me with the truth ♪
♪ Now girl you're more than welcome to ♪
♪ So give me one good reason Baby come on ♪
♪ I've lived for you and me ♪
♪ And now I really come to see ♪
♪ That life would be much better ♪
♪ once you're gone ♪
♪ I know that I can't take no more ♪
♪ It ain't no lie ♪
♪ I want to see you out that door ♪
♪ Baby bye bye bye ♪
Leondria. Shit.
Open up.
Okay. I'm sorry.
Fuck this. What are you doing?
-We gotta talk. -Where's June?
Wait, listen. Go in the back.
Okay.
-Can I have a towel? -Hell no, go that way.
Fuck this.
Cover that shit up, boy.
Okay, look. Yeah. You want me to admit it? I was selling to the hardhats.
I know you told me not to, but they're good customers.
They're good, guys.
I-- I-- You got their money.
Yes. Yeah. Okay.
You're persona non grata.
You know what that means Mr. Hollywood?
Yeah. Yes. I know what that means. But why?
I'm looking out for Lil and that's all you need to know.
God damn sabotage.
What happened?
Oh, great. The goonette squad. Look at them go.
Hey Ma. Man, this nigga jumped out the window.
Is Lil and Lexi okay?
They are fine.
Hey, man, shut the fuck up.
Look, their house is crazy.
Everybody over there, screaming and crying.
This motherfucker with his junk swinging everywhere.
This lazy bastard not doing shit besides sitting on yo ass.
I showed up, man. I'm the fucking muscle.
And your lazy ass,
All you did was get the money and then you would just watch it.
Nobody told me I was gonna be dragging a freaking butt naked dude out of the bed.
Now you ain't even do shit anyways.
I don't need you coming on no runs with me.
You ain't nothing for dead weight motherfucker.
Okay. That's cool. It's all good.
Mom, you're gonna let her talk to me like that?
Hell yeah, I'mma talk to you like this.
-Listen. Time out. -She can't save you.
-Lazy motherfuck-- -Time the fuck out.
Yeah, you guys are on timeout.
-Shut up, man. -Shut up, bro.
Zip it.
Mom, this incident ruined my night.
One of my buddies had a party at Oceans.
I could've been there, but I gotta come and deal with this bullshit.
You see. Constant complaining.
-You were there to protect your sister. -He not coming with me, no more.
-All right, well I'm done with this shit. -Shoulda stayed your ass at home.
You know what--
We're having a family meeting after this.
-Family meeting? -Point Blank.
-You serious? -We need a meeting.
You can take that information and do what you want with it.
Why do you send these motherfuckers with me?
You ain't going to that fucked up club.
You ain't going away home, boy.
You gon' sit right here and roll with us.
We need a meeting.
Now back to you.
Yeah. Back to the sabotage.
Whatever you want to call it, it's over with.
That was between me and Lexi. Seriously. What the fuck?
At the end of the day, it's about you getting up out of Texas.
It's time for you to bounce.
Yeah, I'm fixing to, but I was gonna leave in the morning.
I need money to do that.
Well, maybe you go sell one of your fuck trophies.
Hey, watch your mouth in front of Ma.
What's wrong with you?
Did you give him his 200?
I was but then his punk ass jumped out the window.
$200. That's it?
That's enough to get you a bus ticket far beyond the state line.
After everything I did for you. 200?
Wow.
Be gone by midday.
-Thank your mom for me. -I sure will.
Maybe you ought to come by the house sometime.
Yeah, that would be nice.
Yeah. You and Lexi, y'all come on over here.
-We can, you know, barbecue, drinks some. -Oh that would be great.
You know I should, I should be taking
the backpack that you gave me, but no, I'll take-- I'll use that.
You want me to walk down the street with a garbage bag? Fine.
Yeah, you shit.
Fucking bullshit.
Threw my clothes in there. I'll fuck them.
I'm gonna fold my clothes. So when I leave, they're not wrinkled.
Me and him got in a fight about twenty-five years ago.
Right?
I whipped his ass in high school.
Sure you did.
Yeah.
I'm going to take my time.
Watch.
Oh, look at that fold.
-Y'all don't get tired of this shit, man? -Nope. I love it.
-You don't get tired of this shit. -I live for it.
-Lil, you're a good woman, Lil. -Thank you.
You really are.
Fucking dumb bitch.
All this--
-Hurry the fuck up. -Yo, relax. What the fuck?
Get your shit--
June.
Get a lot of drama here.
Oh no, no, no, no. You're not taking that--
Go sit down!
I'm taking my toothbrush.
Shut up.
Relax, June.
Lil, seriously, thank you so much for letting me stay.
I had an amazing time and you and your daughter are dumb bitches.
Don't say that.
That is not right.
Get the fuck out.
I need a water before I leave, cause I'm gonna be thirsty.
You gotta go, man.
I bought this ashtray.
No. I said when I got it, I could take it back.
Let's go. Let's go.
-Fine, fine. -Get outta here, man.
I should have beat your ass in high school.
Too bad. It was other way around, huh?
-Do you want to go another round? -Nah.
You know what?
I got one last thing to say to all you guys.
Man, shut your bitch ass up.
Shut the fuck up.
Not an another word out of your mouth.
Now, get the fuck out, you suitcase pimp.
What'd you say?
You heard me. Suitcase pimp.
Say that shit again.
Homeless suitcase pimp.
Just go ahead and leave, dude.
He's outta here, babe.
No more--
That was nothing but trouble.
Transcript by sub.Trader & Clarity