- ♪ We're tiny ♪ - ♪ We're toony ♪
♪ We're learning to be looney ♪
♪ And we'll be famous sooney At the college of our dreams ♪
♪ We got our admissions ♪
♪ Important for tuitions ♪
♪ Fulfilling our ambitions With our faculty esteemed ♪
♪ At Acme Looniversity We'll earn our toon degree ♪
♪ The teaching staff's Been getting laughs ♪
♪ Since 1933 ♪
- ♪ We're classmates ♪ - ♪ And roommates ♪
♪ We paid The out-of-state bills ♪
♪ Let's grab the books and go Class is about to start ♪
♪ They're furry They're funny ♪
♪ We're Babs and Buster Bunny ♪
♪ Their comedy is funny ♪
♪ And their friendship's Guaranteed ♪
♪ Hamton is worried And Sweetie's a tough birdie ♪
♪ And if you're lucky Plucky is the perfect... ♪
Frenemy!
♪ So here's where The greatest toons ♪
♪ All got their humble start ♪
♪ There's quite A lot of history ♪
♪ For teaching looney arts ♪
♪ We're tiny, we're toony We can't wait to be looney ♪
♪ Ring the bell Let's all come in And join the fun ♪
♪ And now class has begun ♪
It's finally here!
The bronze bust I ordered of myself?
No! Elective day!
Cycle.
Heard about the theories behind whoopie cushion alternatives?
Uh, too many choices.
Uh, can't we just take whatever class the, the,
the school picks for us?
Well, that kind of defeats
the purpose of it being an elective.
Uh, well, what if I choose the wrong class?
And that bad decision sends me down
a path of other bad decisions,
and suddenly I'm in an empty apartment
with two Pomeranians who hate me?
I can't take this!
Just had a vision of life without absolute self-confidence.
How do the greatest toons
master the anvil?
It starts with the basics.
Basics.
AKA sit back and watch the As roll in.
This'll be easier than the time I took advanced lunch.
Ah, the anvil.
Used for everything except blacksmithing.
Everything I need to know about this class
is already right in here.
Oh, that's why you're head's so big.
Eh? Eh?
Hey, y'all! Tooney Ball sign-ups!
Right this way. I say, right this way.
Tooney Ball!
The roughest, toughest looniest sport, ever invented!
What is it?
It's like a toon version of football.
Uh, what's football?
It's like the non-toon version of Tooney Ball.
Oh, now I get it.
Instead of running a ball across the field
while trying to outrun your opponents...
Boring!
Tooney Ball let's you use all the tricks of tooning
to stop the other team.
I'm talking magnets,
oil slicks,
sleight of hand.
It requires strength,
cunning, creativity, and most importantly,
aggressive bursts of rage.
You had me at rage.
Ooh! You'd be a perfect Tooney-backer.
The whole job is to smash into the other players.
It'll be just like the time you joined Chess club,
except you won't get kicked out after your first move.
It was too slow! Grr!
Yep,
I was Burrowville High School's starting Tooney-back.
I lived,
breathed,
ate Tooney Ball.
We were winning every game.
It was amazing.
Then...
We lost the championship game.
I was upset for months.
I don't like to lose.
There's a cure for that.
We don't lose.
Yeah, bro!
Sorry. I should have warned ya.
I've been doing a lot of chest press.
Like I said, "Great Tooney-backer."
This is what I'm talking about.
No choices to make in here.
- Hamton. - Huh?
I'm sorry. What did I do wrong?
This is your lucky day.
And not just because we're on the cusp of the great conjunction.
I have a solution for indecisive toons like you.
Oh...
You do? Is this the elective you think I should take?
Life is an elective, Hamton.
See you in my soul-spa, reiki-lounge, crystal room.
Uh, wait, I don't know where that is.
My dorm room. Fifth floor by the soda machine.
Ah, oh. Natural latex or oat husks?
They're both very snoozeable.
Like you're gonna be able to sleep during Daffy's riveting lectures.
I can't hear you. Already napping.
Sweet molasses!
Who can tell me what this is?
This class is going to be even easier than I thought.
That is clearly an anvil.
Wrong!
It's an Acme brand, classic two horned anvil. Dimensions eight by twelve,
coming in at a whopping 587 lbs.
Very impressive.
Wrong!
The correct answer is,
in the hands of a master toon
it can be anything.
It can be lighter than air,
heavier than concrete,
it can defy the laws of time, space, and irony.
To master it, you will need to understand
physics,
quantum mechanics,
macroeconomics,
and ancient Greek.
Mm?
Every year, toons take this class thinking,
"Oh, this will be a GPA boosting easy A."
Mm.
Wrong again! This is the hardest elective at Acme.
For most of you, the only A you'll get is in the word,
F-A-I-L.
Fail!
What do we do?
Win that game!
What do we want?
Points and equal rights
in my lifetime!
All right, now.
Some of y'all I'm sure have played Tooney Ball before.
But here at Acme Loo,
there's only one way to play.
Play to win!
Well, I say, I say.
I guess there's two ways to play, but the way I like
to coach Tooney Ball is to play to have fun.
Huh?
These are your pals, your teammates.
It don't matter what the scoreboard says
so long as you played as a team.
I mean, it matters a little bit what the scoreboard says.
All right now, time for drills!
I wanna, I say, I wanna see smiles out there.
Drills! Nailing these drills is the difference between winners
and...
losers.
Congratulations.
The biggest battle is showing up.
Oh, I brought other bathing suit choices
if this one's not right.
This way, please.
Uh, Wh... What's that?
A sensory deprivation tank.
It allows you to disconnect from the outer world
and connect with your inner mind.
Uh, my, my, my inner mind is a loud, chaotic place.
Do you get super panicked when you're locked in small contained spaces?
- Yes. - For the purposes
of moving forward, I need to ignore your answer.
Your journey begins now.
Is this supposed to be calming?
It's like taking a bath in the Dark Ages.
Relax, let your mind wander.
I can see something.
Sounds like a vision.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
This is your magical subconscious.
Everything you see is a symbol.
Uh, so this train isn't really a train?
It's a symbol of my mind?
Precisely.
And the track is the course my life takes?
Yup.
Your first decision!
To the forest or to the mountains?
What if I make the wrong choice?
The only wrong choice, is no choice.
I can't choose!
I ruined my spirit vision
and I peed in there.
I'm sorry!
I had planned to do nothing in this class,
yet here I am,
clearly doing something.
Can't believe we have a quiz
on the second day of class.
Funny. I thought you liked a challenge.
I like challenges.
I also like the occasional non-challenge.
This class is going to ruin my grades, not boost them.
A-ha!
So you did take this class
'cause you thought it would be easy.
We're not so different, you and me.
I'm a dynamo who will be an inspiration
for lady bunnies for years to come.
And you had to take intro to intro courses twice.
But sure, please continue.
Fine. We have nothing in common.
So this is very difficult for me to say,
but I think we need to--
We need to...
Ha, ha, ha.
With my work ethic, smarts, and your...
Spit it out.
...ability to turn the page in a textbook,
we might just pull this off!
Welcome to the most anticipated Tooney Ball game
of the season here at Acme Loo.
This year's team has been particularly looney.
Led by freshman standout Buster Bunny,
all the way from Burrowville High.
- We gonna what? - Win?
- How? - By,
having more points than the other team?
And by playing this game as if our lives depended on it!
'Cause they do! Winning is life!
- Win, win, win! - Win, win, win!
Here's referee Marvin with the tip.
Ooh, the ball is gobbled up
by a Tasmanian devil.
That's really gonna hurt Acme Loo.
And Buster comes down with it.
Ooh, look at that kid go!
Oh, a classic brick wall belly
and the ball is stolen!
Loon Doggle!
Nice! Way to go! Okay, okay. Not too bad, team.
Not too bad.
What are you talking about?
We're getting creamed out there.
Oh, come on.
They only have five points.
And we have negative 25.
Coach, fun is fun,
but can you please lead us to victory?
Okay. Tell you what, bud.
You call the next play.
Me? Call a play?
Okay!
We're running a southern sceediddle.
Dizzy, you see anyone coming for me create a tornado.
Dizzy spin!
Sweetie, you and me will run a double-toon play.
Who do you want me to smash?
Everyone coming my way.
They'll never know what hit 'em.
Let's
dominate!
Here comes Acme Loo looking to get on the scoreboard.
- Beep, beep. - You said it, partner!
Buster's got some serious skills, but it's gonna
take more than that to get past this defense.
Dizzy with a great sink hole block
to shoot Buster through the gap.
Dizzy, quit messing around.
And Acme Loo loses the ball.
Ooh! Great, wacky mallet counter by Furballl.
Oh, it looks like they're having fun out there.
Huh, no, you don't.
Ha!
Whoo-hoo!
What an unselfish rocket-mess-around by Sweetie.
There's absolutely no mess around
with this rabbit. Buster goes straight for the goal again.
Oh, a big time block with a looney lasso.
And it's a double stink back.
Tough break for Acme.
And call me old fashioned, but it just doesn't look
like Buster's having any fun out there.
You were amazing!
So fast and cunning and cool.
But we didn't score.
What's the point of playing?
Oh, man, that kid needs peppy talk.
And I'm, I say, I'm just the person to do it
or my name ain't, Coach Foghorn Jimhorn Bobhorn Leghorn.
Okay, uh...
I can do this.
Just gotta d... decide on one hot beverage.
I'll have a Looney Spritz.
Oh, no, the bubbles may go up my nose.
Not sure if I'm in the mood for that.
How about a Cold Brewha-ha?
No, uh... The Tea-gees?
Or Java-Rama-Mocha-Mama?
Espresto-change-o?
Okay, Hamton. It's time to start deciding.
Right?
I mean, it seems like it's time, doesn't it?
We gotta fix my indecision problem.
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
It's difficult to understand what you mean
on account of all the weird words you use.
Thank you for deciding to tell me that,
you glorious collection of stardust.
Oh, now let's go back in my mind and kick some subconscious butt!
Oh, yeah!
All right, here we go.
Mountains or forests, Hamton?
It doesn't matter what I choose, right?
Just gotta choose.
Choose.
Choose, choose. Choose, choose.
Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga, choose.
Chugga, choose.
Choose, choose!
Help!
Whatever your instinct is,
that's the right answer.
What do you want to do? What do you want to do?
I want to fly away!
I did it.
Fly, fly Hamton, fly.
Oh, oh...
Whoo-hoo! Watch out, world.
It's Hamton, the decider.
Uh, chooser? No! Decider.
Making decisions feels great.
Thank you. This was the best elective ever.
Elective? This isn't an elective.
In fact, I'm not even technically allowed
to have most of this stuff on campus.
All right, Sweetie,
Furball, Little Beeper.
Get on out there.
We're starting with a Mississippi,
I say, Mississippi Bingo.
Coach, want me to throw a three four seven?
A Charlestone Chug-a-lug?
Buster, don't want you to do nothing 'cause you're benched.
Benched?
And go, I say, go out there, team, and have fun.
Acme Loo takes the field for the second half.
It looks like Coach Leghorn
is keeping star player Buster Bunny on the bench.
Now, son, let me learn ya a lesson
in the form of a personal tidbit.
I say, I say, back in the day I had it all.
I was a Tooney Ball superstar.
And I was a stud muffin to boot.
But I screwed it all up.
Why I took it so serious,
I didn't play to have any fun.
Sure, I crushed the competition.
But I also crushed my team's spirit.
They got tired of me wanting to win all the time,
so the whole team quit.
I was such a proud fool,
I tried to take on the opposing team all by myself.
I just didn't get
what Tooney Ball was really all about.
You're right.
My friends are way more important than winning.
When I first started playing Tooney Ball, it was all about fun.
But then we started winning and that's all I cared about.
And I forgot the fun part.
Now you get it, kid.
All right!
Hop out on the field, champ.
Buster Bunny's back on the field
and he is all smiles.
Must've been some peppy talk from Coach Leghorn.
Sorry I was such a bummer before.
Let's have some fun out there.
One, two, three.
C minus?
But we studied so hard.
You know, those C minuses are the highest grades
anyone has ever gotten in this class.
Well, I guess getting straight As
isn't the most important thing in the world.
And I got to hang out with you, which was actually kind of fun.
Far be it for me to pay a compliment to a bunny.
But, Babs, I would now consider you,
friend, adjacent.
Wanna catch the end of the game?
Yes.
But let's not make this a habit.
Don't worry.
I'm just as surprised that I invited you.
With time winding down,
Acme Loo has mounted an amazing comeback
led by some truly inspired wackiness from Buster Bunny.
And the visitors come down with the ball.
And it's a kiss-kiss bang steal.
Yeah. Nice one, Dizzy!
Beep, beep.
There's the Southern Beeper.
And Furball with the yoink-a-doodle.
Visitors come away with it,
but, whoa, my goodness,
Sweetie drops in with a whoopie whopper.
Fifi with a huge floral flabbergaster!
Uh-oh. Buster might be in trouble here.
Come on, kid.
Just have fun.
Wait! Wait!
Buster's gone full silly!
Yeah!
Way to go, toons!
Bro! We won!
We did?
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
If you care about that kind of thing.
There you go, champ.
There you go.
Buster's actually, having fun out there.
I suppose the old adage is true.
The most important thing in the world--
Sorry. Just catching up on the new elective I chose.