[theme song playing]
- ♪ We're tiny ♪ - ♪ We're toony ♪
♪ We're learning to be looney ♪
♪ And we'll be famous sooney At the college of our dreams ♪
♪ We got our admissions ♪
♪ Important for tuitions ♪
♪ Fulfilling our ambitions With our faculty esteemed ♪
♪ At Acme Looniversity We'll earn our toon degree ♪
♪ The teaching staff's Been getting laughs ♪
♪ Since 1933 ♪
- ♪ We're classmates ♪ - ♪ And roommates ♪
♪ We paid The out-of-state bills ♪
♪ Let's grab the books and go Class is about to start ♪
♪ They're furry They're funny ♪
♪ We're Babs and Buster Bunny Their comedy is funny ♪
♪ And their friendship's Guaranteed ♪
♪ Hamton is worried And Sweetie's a tough birdie ♪
♪ And if you're lucky Plucky is the perfect... ♪
Frenemy!
♪ So here's where The greatest toons ♪
♪ All got their humble start ♪
♪ There's quite A lot of history ♪
♪ For teaching looney arts ♪
♪ We're tiny, we're toony We can't wait to be looney ♪
♪ Ring the bell Let's all come in And join the fun ♪
[bell rings]
♪ And now class has begun ♪
- [Hamton] It's okay, my child. - [Sweetie] Oh...
Continue.
And I never used that toilet again.
That's my terrible secret.
I won't tell a soul.
[both grunt]
Now say cheese!
- [camera shutter clicking] - Don't forget to smize.
[both exclaiming]
[both giggling]
How come everyone on campus is comfortable telling you their deepest darkest secrets?
Oh!
Ever since I was a p-p-piglet,
everyone's felt very comfortable telling me confidential things.
Have you ever let a secret slip?
Nope! They go right in the vault and don't come out.
[monitor beeping]
[zipper unzips]
[automated voice] Lock activated.
I got an email from the mentorship program!
You're getting paired up with an Acme star
who's gonna teach you how to toon, one-on-one!
- Oh, no! I'm too nervous to read it. - Hmm.
"Congrats, Buster Fillmore Bunny."
[laughs] Fillmore? Now that's a secret worth keeping.
"You'll find out who your mentor is on the first day."
- Ooh. - It's gotta be Bugs!
Buster Bunny being monitored by Bugs Bunny? It's a dream come true!
I don't need a mentor. I'm already a towering paragon
of duckness and tooning perfection.
Congratulations, Buster.
I can see the headline now.
"Buster Bunny awarded mentorship at Acme Loo."
This is definitely going into the Bunny family scrapbook.
Buster's Acme history begins on this page.
Great, so all I need is a school newspaper. Clip, clip, clip.
Glue, glue, glue... And boom, bunny!
Hmm.
[pondering]
There it is! Bada-bing, bada-- Ah!
[snarls]
Excuse me? I'm in the middle of making risotto.
- Huh? - But this box is for newspapers.
Well, it's my condo now.
And if you have a problem with that, you can go talk to the HOA.
[snarls]
Oh, Taz! Where's the school newspaper?
[grumbling]
The paper was shut down 'cause of budget problems?
Mm-hmm. [grumbles]
You lost your job writing political cartoons?
[Sweetie chuckles] I get it.
[grumbles]
This is a scrapbook emergency!
- [Sweetie groans] - The school needs a paper.
How else can students share their successes?
And more importantly, paste those successes into a book with cute stickers?
We have to do something about this, Sweetie!
Sweetie?
Bring back the paper or we bring the chaos!
Or we could go talk to the budget office.
Oh, start small. I like it!
I'm about to learn everything about how to be a Toon from Bugs Bunny himself!
Heya there, kid. Excited for your new mentorship?
[gasps]
More than anything!
Great! Introducing your new mentor...
Merlin the Magic Mouse!
Ha-cha!
Who?
You know, Merlin the Magic Mouse!
Ha-zah!
[coughs]
My pal Merlin and I came up in the Catskills together.
He's gonna teach you a thing or six about tooning.
Indeed, it is I, Merlin the Magic Mouse!
You've probably seen me at the Hocus Hoboken,
New Jersey's number one magic and mystery club.
Uh...
No offense, but I don't know who you are.
Then there's lots to learn!
Today, you get to have exclusive entry into the forbidden world of magic!
Atascadero escondido!
A coin. Neat.
Um, would you excuse me for a minute?
Whoa, dinner's on me, Merlin.
Ha-ha!
[Porky] How can I help y-y... What can I do for you?
I'd like to fill out the necessary forms to restart the school paper.
B-b-bad news, there's n-n-no money to start it back up.
What?
We had a t-t-tough decision to make.
Keep our school paper or buy g-g-grand pianos.
I suppose the only way to have a school newspaper
is for the students to p-p-pay for it.
So I'd have to find the money?
Precise-precise... Uh-huh.
No, Babs! It's your life savings!
Well, without a paper, there's no memories for the scrapbook.
If the paper's a success, I'll make my money back.
Forgive me, Oinky!
[piggy bank squeaks]
[straining]
We've done so much in just a few hours.
Hired reporters, reopened the newsroom,
kicked out the wild bears living in the newsroom.
Good luck figuring out the printer without me.
You can't even download the drivers anymore.
What are you working on, Fifi?
I'm writing about how Dizzy used a toothbrush for the first time in weeks.
Shirley?
I'm writing about how Furball's about to enter
a lunar cycle for creative manifestation.
And you, Plucky?
Coach Leghorn uses an alarm clock
instead of waking up with the sun
like a rooster should. What a huge juicy scandal!
"Cock-a-Doodle Don't"?
- [Sweetie laughs] - We can't publish this.
I started this paper to raise toons up, not tear them down.
To celebrate the lives of the student body.
To document important moments in print.
This headline doesn't belong here, Plucky. It's too mean.
And catchy! These stories will rake in the readers.
The whole school will be talking!
"I Tawt I Taw... Nothing"?
Tweety Bird's blind without contact lenses?
We can't print any of these.
Yeah? Well, maybe you can print this one.
"Babs Bunny Bungles School Paper."
Plucky, come on!
You just lost your most sizzling writer.
I will take my writing talents where they are appreciated...
My own newspaper!
Which I am starting right now!
[laughing]
-"Cock-a-Doodle Don't." - [Babs grumbles]
Totally rude.
Oh, hey, Doc. How's the mentorship going?
Merlin seems... nice. But I think we might be a bad fit.
Is that so?
I'm here at Acme Loo to learn from the best! Like you, Bugs.
Kid, look. I don't mentor.
Between rabbit season and ski season, I am booked.
Maybe you should give Merlin a chance.
He's been your mentor for what? Five minutes?
[sighs] You're right. I guess I was disappointed,
but everyone has lessons to teach.
I'll apologize to Merlin. Let me go find him.
Why? He's already here.
What? Merlin?
How did you do that?
Time to teach you some real magic.
[Plucky] Uh... Oh...
So you gotta think of something. Come on, come on, come on.
What's wrong?
Oh, I started a rival paper to ruin Babs'.
Sounds not surprising, and awful.
Exactly. But I need lots of gossip, and I only have three stories.
Buddy, pal, friendo, why not share a couple
of those secrets of yours with me for my paper?
No way! I don't listen and tell.
[yawns] I'm g-g-gonna take a nap.
I hope my quiet sleeping doesn't interrupt your very loud typing.
[muttering]
Oh, I sure do love lollipops.
Oh, great. I'll never get any work done
with all this sleep talking.
Fifi the skunk is French... Canadian.
Dizzy can only spin counter-clockwise.
[Hamton snoring]
[laughs mischievously]
Hamton's a sleep squealer.
Marvin the Martian is actually from Detroit.
Dare I betray a sleeping friend to sell my tabloids?
[laughs maniacally]
Part of tooning is mastering the art of illusion.
That can be as simple as pulling a coin out of an ear
or even more surprising, you could...
Hmm?
Merlin? [sobbing] No!
He's been cursed by some sort of cardboard Medusa!
Boopsie.
How did you--
Illusion, my boy! Here, let me explain a bit more.
G sharp.
[soft music playing]
♪ What are you seeing? Did your head have A contusion? ♪
♪ No, your brain It isn't fleeing ♪
♪ It's just an illusion ♪
♪ Is that a doorway Or a painting? ♪
♪ What caused this confusion? ♪
♪ No need to start fainting It's just an illusion ♪
♪ Illusions! Dear sweet dandy delusions ♪
[both] ♪ Presto, chango It's magic for two ♪
♪ I can't stop my effusion For those magic infusions ♪
♪ It's a foregone conclusion ♪
♪ Illusions! ♪
This is the beginning of a beautiful mentorship, Buster the Bamboozler.
Buster the Bamboozler, I like the sound of it.
Our first edition of the Looniversity Gazette!
[both straining]
Uh...
Do you think we made the right choice to be so... thorough?
The students are gonna love reading about all the cool things happening on campus.
Boring, boring, boring. You crushed my solar panels for a snooze-fest!
Snooze-fest?
Mm-hmm. Short for snooze festival.
Short for absolute total failure.
Oh, don't listen to him. Our customers are the students, and they...
...couldn't care less.
I don't understand.
[sighs]
Maybe a 30-page story about Furball finally learning how to put on a duvet cover
was too much.
[toons exclaiming]
[all murmuring]
Meep-meep.
The Toon Tattler. Catchy title.
If you like immediately tantalizing and engaging things.
I don't.
[Babs] "Senior Editor Plucky"?
"Fifi the false Francophile from Canada?"
But Montreal is the Paris of North America! [sobbing]
[toons chattering]
[toon] What's this?
[groans]
If you can't stand the stink, then don't print the ink, baby.
Wow, everyone's really into Plucky's barrel-scraping gossip rag.
I don't get it. We haven't even sold one Looniversity Gazette.
Don't students wanna see
all their awesome accomplishments in the newspaper?
[sighs]
I'll never earn my money back.
Listen, Bun, a good paper is lean and mean.
Like me on Fire Island in July.
- What are you saying? - Oh... This one doesn't understand sass.
People wanna read about the big stuff, not puff pieces on student flossing habits.
Wow! Looking good, Buster.
[giggles]
Don't tell anyone this, but at first I thought my mentorship was a total joke.
But Merlin really proved me wrong!
Atascadero escondido!
[sneezes]
Hmm. I thought I heard Buster's annoying voice. Ah, well.
Congrats on the Toon Tattler. Everyone's tattling about it.
Yeah, of course they are. It's the paper with the catchiest headlines
and the handsomest editor.
When I read the paper, it was like I had already heard the stories before.
Isn't that strange?
Yes, very strange. Now I must get to work on tomorrow's paper
[lullaby playing]
Mm.
[hissing]
Mm...
Is that lavender?
[yawns]
[snoring]
Buster thought his mentorship was a total joke.
Oh!
A tantalizing hit piece on Buster? Don't mind if I do.
Now everyone will know he's not the sweet, simple rabbit he appears to be.
So what do we do now?
I thought everyone was gonna love the story about Lil' Beeper's new bangs.
- It had so many ups and downs. - [Babs grunts]
I hate do admit it, but that salty racoon is right.
We need a big story that'll get all the student's attention.
One that's not mean, but informative and exciting!
The only question is, what is that story?
The nerve of that duck!
"Buster's magic mentor a bust"?
"Bunny finds Merlin the Mouse is too cheesy." Is this true?
Okay, yeah, I wasn't excited at first.
But Plucky left out the part where I changed my mind.
And I'm leaning so much from Merlin.
Plus, I have like 87 coins now.
"Toilet Troubles: Sweetie Bird mistakes bird bath for something else."
I told Hamton that in confidence in the photobooth.
[growling]
Wait a minute, Buster. Who did you confide in about your mentorship?
Hamton, and only Hamton.
He'd never spill a secret and hurt a friend.
Hmm.
Then that means something fishy's going on with the piggy.
Let's start by investigating at the boys' dorm.
To the Stink Hut!
That's what you call our dorm?
You don't notice the smell? It's like, uh... old shoe stuffed with sea food.
Ew. Okay, I will deal with that later.
[feedback squealing]
[slurping]
Ah.
[slurping]
Plucky's the most selfish toon we know.
If he's doing something nice for Hamton, there's gotta be something in it for him.
[snoring]
Bugs Bunny prefers parsnips.
Oh-ho-ho!
Keep the secrets coming, you sweet sleeping secret-spilling swine!
[both] Hamton tells secrets in his sleep
and Plucky's using them to write the stories
- in his paper? - Brain sync!
[Buster] Plucky's in trouble now!
Oops, sorry.
Oops, sorry. Still learning.
[all groaning]
A-ha-ha!
[both exclaim]
It's time to introduce Plucky to Buster the Bamboozler!
[laughing] That's good!
- [knock at door] - Huh?
[laughs nervously]
What brings you two distinguished authority figures to my dorm... unannounced?
Accolades for bringing news to Acme again?
We are here to expel Hamton J. Pig!
What? Why?
[Plucky sputters]
For selling students' secrets, you snitching varmint.
Oh...
This must be some kind of misunderstanding.
Nope. Al them stories in that paper of yours are secrets
that were told to Hamton in condiments.
Confidence.
Such poor character won't be tolerated at Acme Loo.
Sam, escort Hamton off campus.
[sobbing] B-b-but I would never tell someone's secrets. Honest.
Prove it.
I can't!
Then pack it up, pig.
[sputters]
Wait!
Hamton didn't sell anyone's secrets.
Then how exactly did his secrets end up in your paper?
Hamton accidently tells secrets in his sleep.
And I put those secrets in the Toon Tattler for my own personal gain.
And I enjoyed it!
[Granny] A-ha!
[Plucky on tape] And I put those secrets in the Toon Tattler
for my own personal gain.
Got him!
Hamton, let me explain.
Oh, I'm not Hamton.
Buster?
That's Buster the Bamboozler to you, buddy!
Atascadero escondido!
A-ha!
Ooh, I like this look.
[scoffs] What in Pluto's planetary persuasion is going on?
We figured out you were stealing Hamton's secrets.
And now we have proof.
The real Hamton's been hiding in the closet this whole time.
I found some old shrimp in a shoe.
How could you, Plucky?
My desire to be the best got the better of me.
But I'm already bored with this apology. The more important question is,
Buster, when did you learn how to do that?
Let's just say a little mouse mentor taught me.
My job here is done.
Until next time, Buster the Bamboozler.
Calabasas, Pasadena!
[coughs]
[chuckles nervously]
Friends, uh... We don't have to tell anyone about this, do we?
We all know how seriously you take people's secrets, Plucky.
You wanted to be the talk of the town, and now you will be.
Say cheese!
[camera shutter clicks]
Keep writing stories like this, sis, and I smell a Peacockbody Award.
The paper is a success.
We can share all the amazing news of the students of Acme.
And I can keep the Bunny family scrapbook going.
Plus, you've made all your money back!
[gasps] Oinky!
[toons jeering]
Turns out some press is bad press.
Yeah, but if there's one thing I've learned about running a newspaper for three days,
it's that you've gotta have quality content and grab the reader.
[toons booing]
Hey, Plucky.
[exclaims]
What is it? Jealous of all my free tomatoes?
We could use a little help in the headline writing department.
Not to mention layout. And photography.
I wasn't... [clears throat]
Come back and work for the Looniversity Gazette.
As the editor?
No, as a writer.
It would be your pleasure.
[sighs] I'm already regretting this.
[Plucky grunts, groans]
T-t-that's all, folks!
A-ha!
Atascadero escondido!
[theme music playing]