1 00:00:06,153 --> 00:00:09,364 -NARRATOR: How far would you travel to find yourself again? 2 00:00:39,519 --> 00:00:40,896 Oh, no, that's wrong. 3 00:00:40,979 --> 00:00:42,898 Oh, gosh darn it. 4 00:00:44,441 --> 00:00:45,942 Goodness, what... 5 00:00:46,026 --> 00:00:49,029 What on Earth is that song? 6 00:00:49,112 --> 00:00:52,157 -TYM: Remember, you can always ask for assistance. 7 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,868 -Oh, goodness, no, no, it's not that important. 8 00:00:54,951 --> 00:00:56,995 No. It's all right. 9 00:00:57,078 --> 00:00:58,705 Thank you, though, thank you. 10 00:00:58,789 --> 00:01:01,541 It's very kind of you. 11 00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:04,044 Thank you. Very above and beyond. 12 00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:08,215 -TYM: Are you sure, Peg? 13 00:01:08,298 --> 00:01:10,967 -Well, it's just that... 14 00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:12,886 I just didn't want to be a bother. 15 00:01:12,969 --> 00:01:14,471 -TYM: But that's what I'm built for. 16 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,598 -Yeah, but still. 17 00:01:16,681 --> 00:01:18,767 When are we starting? 18 00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:20,769 -TYM: Starting what? -The study. 19 00:01:20,852 --> 00:01:22,604 -TYM: Oh. We've been conducting the study 20 00:01:22,687 --> 00:01:24,105 this whole time. 21 00:01:24,189 --> 00:01:25,774 The three days you've been under, 22 00:01:25,857 --> 00:01:28,485 and now the 15 hours you've been awake. 23 00:01:28,568 --> 00:01:30,070 -Oh, my goodness. 24 00:01:30,153 --> 00:01:32,697 -TYM: I was certain somebody must have told you. 25 00:01:32,781 --> 00:01:35,867 -Oh. No, I... Well, yes, I'm sure they did. 26 00:01:35,951 --> 00:01:39,454 I'm sure I just... I just... Forgot. 27 00:01:39,538 --> 00:01:42,499 I should have remembered about the study. 28 00:01:42,582 --> 00:01:44,751 I would have worn a little rouge. 29 00:01:44,835 --> 00:01:49,297 To match this fancy pants spacesuit they gave me. 30 00:01:49,381 --> 00:01:51,383 Don't want to look like a slouch. 31 00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:53,093 Don't want to look ungrateful. 32 00:01:53,176 --> 00:01:56,263 -TYM: You don't need to wear any rouge. 33 00:01:56,346 --> 00:01:59,474 -Right, all right. Well... good. 34 00:01:59,558 --> 00:02:02,185 I guess I'd better start, then. 35 00:02:04,813 --> 00:02:08,859 So, this is Peg Wykowski on day four of 36 00:02:08,942 --> 00:02:12,821 the Odyssey Shuttle Solitude Sweepstakes Study. 37 00:02:12,904 --> 00:02:15,323 -TYM: You don't have to do that. 38 00:02:15,407 --> 00:02:16,950 -No? -TYM: No. 39 00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,869 This isn't like television or anything. 40 00:02:18,952 --> 00:02:20,704 -Oh. 41 00:02:21,913 --> 00:02:26,042 I've always wanted to be on the silver screen. 42 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:34,384 Well, do I need to do anything or... 43 00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:36,094 -TYM: Just be yourself. 44 00:02:40,181 --> 00:02:41,308 -Are you sure? 45 00:02:41,391 --> 00:02:44,227 -TYM: Sorry? -Well, uh... 46 00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:46,688 Are you sure that's what they want? 47 00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:49,149 -TYM: How do you mean? -For the study. 48 00:02:49,232 --> 00:02:50,275 -TYM: Yes. 49 00:02:52,903 --> 00:02:55,989 -I just want to make sure that if I am... 50 00:02:56,072 --> 00:03:00,160 If I'm being myself... 51 00:03:00,243 --> 00:03:03,038 that I'm still... 52 00:03:03,121 --> 00:03:05,624 -TYM: What? -Counted. 53 00:03:07,042 --> 00:03:08,293 -TYM: You will be, Peg. 54 00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:10,962 -I'm sorry. I'm sorry to be a bother. 55 00:03:11,046 --> 00:03:13,131 -TYM: You're not a bother. -I hate being a bother. 56 00:03:19,304 --> 00:03:20,889 -TYM: Can I ask you something, Peg? 57 00:03:20,972 --> 00:03:23,934 -Mm? Yeah, anything. 58 00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:26,394 -TYM: Why did you sign up for this study? 59 00:03:26,478 --> 00:03:31,149 -Oh, well, I was watching "The Hologram Singer." 60 00:03:31,232 --> 00:03:34,486 You know it? And I saw the commercial on television. 61 00:03:34,569 --> 00:03:37,322 "Senior citizens wanted. 62 00:03:37,405 --> 00:03:39,115 "Adventure ahead. 63 00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:42,369 "Journey to the farthest reaches of the universe. 64 00:03:42,452 --> 00:03:44,955 "Go where no person has gone before. 65 00:03:45,038 --> 00:03:46,998 "No experience required. 66 00:03:47,082 --> 00:03:49,042 Anyone can apply." 67 00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,752 -TYM: You remember it verbatim. 68 00:03:50,835 --> 00:03:53,004 -Oh, yes. Mm-hm. 69 00:03:53,088 --> 00:03:56,341 So I went online and I put my information in, 70 00:03:56,424 --> 00:03:59,052 and I... and I got a Zoom interview the very next day. 71 00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:03,807 With Pru. From your company. 72 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:05,475 And she was nice. 73 00:04:05,558 --> 00:04:08,812 She had a lazy eye. 74 00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:11,940 "You do realize what this means, Peg," she said to me. 75 00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:15,068 "How do you mean what this means?" I said. 76 00:04:15,151 --> 00:04:18,071 "The reason we're looking for seniors in their golden years 77 00:04:18,154 --> 00:04:22,617 "is because, well... 78 00:04:22,701 --> 00:04:24,411 you won't be coming back." 79 00:04:24,494 --> 00:04:28,331 And I said, "Well, sign me up." 80 00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:31,251 And she laughed. That was nice. 81 00:04:31,334 --> 00:04:33,712 She liked my little joke. 82 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,339 That was my smile for the day. 83 00:04:38,299 --> 00:04:41,511 I always try for one smile a day. 84 00:04:41,594 --> 00:04:43,847 She said I was just what the company was looking for. 85 00:04:43,930 --> 00:04:48,059 Me! Me and how about that? 86 00:04:48,143 --> 00:04:49,644 I mean, if I thought about it too long, 87 00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:52,022 I would have realized how crazy it all sounded. 88 00:04:52,105 --> 00:04:55,442 Me? Out in space? 89 00:04:55,525 --> 00:04:58,153 With my bunions and my astigmatism 90 00:04:58,236 --> 00:05:01,823 and my little farts after I have a snack. 91 00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:03,283 If I thought about it too long, 92 00:05:03,366 --> 00:05:05,285 I mean, if I'd actually looked in the mirror, 93 00:05:05,368 --> 00:05:09,372 I'd shaken myself and said, "What are you doing, Peg? 94 00:05:09,456 --> 00:05:13,752 I mean, what are you even doing?" 95 00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,795 But here we are? 96 00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,338 Isn't that something? 97 00:05:19,924 --> 00:05:21,634 Here we are. 98 00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:27,140 Up. Up. And away. 99 00:05:30,351 --> 00:05:31,811 Adventure ahead. 100 00:05:36,357 --> 00:05:37,984 They wouldn't believe it. 101 00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:39,903 -TYM: Who? 102 00:05:39,986 --> 00:05:41,446 -Oh, I don't know. 103 00:05:41,529 --> 00:05:44,115 for one. 104 00:05:44,199 --> 00:05:46,159 He wouldn't believe all this. 105 00:05:46,242 --> 00:05:48,953 Peg? In space? 106 00:05:54,084 --> 00:05:55,502 Adventure ahead. 107 00:05:57,378 --> 00:06:00,173 That was all I wanted. 108 00:06:00,256 --> 00:06:04,302 I mean, 71 years on Earth and, heck, I... 109 00:06:04,385 --> 00:06:06,387 I just wanted some adventure. 110 00:06:06,471 --> 00:06:08,473 I mean, I think I earned it, even. 111 00:06:10,850 --> 00:06:12,060 So that's why. 112 00:06:14,854 --> 00:06:16,856 -TYM: If you look out the window to your left, 113 00:06:16,940 --> 00:06:20,235 you'll see we are currently passing the moon. 114 00:06:20,318 --> 00:06:24,405 -Oh... oh, wow. 115 00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,791 PEG: You know, I used to make wishes on the moon. 116 00:06:34,874 --> 00:06:36,209 -TYM: What for? 117 00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:40,839 -Oh... 118 00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,757 -TYM: You don't have to... 119 00:06:42,841 --> 00:06:44,884 I don't mean to pry. -It was for my dad. 120 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,848 He got sick when I was five. 121 00:06:50,932 --> 00:06:52,475 Cancer. 122 00:06:52,559 --> 00:06:54,769 You know, cancer was this... -TYM: I know about it. 123 00:06:54,853 --> 00:06:57,355 Yes. 124 00:06:57,438 --> 00:07:00,316 -Well, what could the moon do, you know? 125 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,027 It had to light up the whole night sky. 126 00:07:03,111 --> 00:07:07,115 It had a lot on its plate, so... 127 00:07:07,198 --> 00:07:09,367 Well, he died when I was six. 128 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:11,744 It was just a few days after my birthday. 129 00:07:14,289 --> 00:07:17,125 Couldn't come to my party. 130 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:18,877 I often think he died when I was five 131 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,087 because he wasn't at my sixth birthday party, 132 00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:23,464 but he... he died when I was six. 133 00:07:26,384 --> 00:07:28,553 I remember I came home from school, 134 00:07:28,636 --> 00:07:31,181 and my mom hugged me tight and said, 135 00:07:31,264 --> 00:07:34,350 "Daddy went to Heaven." 136 00:07:34,434 --> 00:07:37,437 Oh, he was such a good dad. 137 00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:42,442 I'd make him do the TikToks with me. 138 00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,277 You'd, uh... 139 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,989 They were these little music video things, you know? 140 00:07:48,072 --> 00:07:50,450 Um, how'd they go? 141 00:07:55,205 --> 00:07:56,581 Something like that. 142 00:07:56,664 --> 00:07:59,000 Oh, my God. 143 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:01,336 Oh, we had this secret handshake. 144 00:08:01,419 --> 00:08:05,798 It was like... Oh, um... D-d-d-da, d-d-d-da, 145 00:08:05,882 --> 00:08:09,510 da, da, pew! 146 00:08:12,055 --> 00:08:14,641 He loved me endlessly, my dad. 147 00:08:23,816 --> 00:08:26,319 The week after the funeral, 148 00:08:26,402 --> 00:08:27,904 we met Dad 2. 149 00:08:29,948 --> 00:08:32,867 You know, one of those Remember Me Bots? 150 00:08:32,951 --> 00:08:34,953 The company went out of business years ago, 151 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:37,413 but at the time, it was something people did. 152 00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:40,750 Mom didn't like Dad 2. 153 00:08:42,502 --> 00:08:44,212 She pretended to for me and Wilder, 154 00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:45,338 but she didn't. 155 00:08:47,173 --> 00:08:49,592 Well, she had to share a bed with him. 156 00:08:49,676 --> 00:08:51,135 Just in case I'd run into the room in 157 00:08:51,219 --> 00:08:53,096 the middle of the night. 158 00:08:53,179 --> 00:08:56,641 She didn't want Dad 2, like, powered off in the corner. 159 00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:59,477 She thought it'd traumatize me so... 160 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,314 so she slept in that bed every night with a robot. 161 00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,779 I think a lot about that. 162 00:09:09,862 --> 00:09:13,825 What... About what my mom did for us. 163 00:09:15,994 --> 00:09:19,497 I think a lot about my mom and Dad 2 and... 164 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,749 and my dad. 165 00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:25,128 My mother died soon after my father. 166 00:09:25,211 --> 00:09:27,880 It was just six months later. 167 00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:29,590 She was out for a run and one of those 168 00:09:29,674 --> 00:09:32,468 driverless cars glitched, took a wrong turn. 169 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,307 I stopped wishing on the moon after that. 170 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,227 Didn't want to be a bother. 171 00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:47,775 Cried for days. 172 00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:52,613 I slept with her clothes because I missed her so much. 173 00:09:52,697 --> 00:09:55,408 I missed her smell. 174 00:09:55,491 --> 00:09:57,785 You know, I still have that sweater she used to wear. 175 00:09:57,869 --> 00:10:01,622 Sometimes, I'll hold close and... 176 00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:06,169 And at night when I'm sad... 177 00:10:06,252 --> 00:10:07,587 or gassy. 178 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:10,048 No. I know that sounds funny, 179 00:10:10,131 --> 00:10:12,383 but, you know, she'd always rub my back 180 00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:13,968 and it would get the farts out. 181 00:10:19,349 --> 00:10:21,809 Or when I don't feel anything at all. 182 00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:27,023 Over the years, that sweater started to smell more like me, 183 00:10:27,106 --> 00:10:29,609 you know, just because it's been in my drawers, 184 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:32,612 and now it's... it's like we've met somehow, 185 00:10:32,695 --> 00:10:34,280 her and me as women, you know, 186 00:10:34,364 --> 00:10:36,991 in the fabric, in the fabric of the sweater. 187 00:10:38,284 --> 00:10:41,287 When they found out that we were living with Dad 2, 188 00:10:41,371 --> 00:10:43,623 they made me and Wilder go and live with my grandmother. 189 00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:47,585 Yeah, we moved all the way across the pond. 190 00:10:47,668 --> 00:10:50,380 To Bedford. In England. 191 00:10:51,589 --> 00:10:54,425 Didn't know anyone or anything. 192 00:10:54,509 --> 00:10:56,552 -TYM: That must have been frightening. 193 00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:58,346 -Yeah, yeah, it was. 194 00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:05,186 After we moved to Bedford, things got hard. 195 00:11:05,269 --> 00:11:09,190 You know I'm 71 years old, and it still hurts. 196 00:11:09,273 --> 00:11:12,527 'Cause my bones and my organs were developing then, 197 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:14,695 so that pain is buried deep. 198 00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:19,700 It's covered over by tissue and calcite and muscle. 199 00:11:21,994 --> 00:11:23,162 And to remove it, 200 00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:25,832 you'd have to untwine me altogether. 201 00:11:28,835 --> 00:11:31,003 -TYM: Did you have any friends in Bedford? 202 00:11:35,007 --> 00:11:36,259 Um... 203 00:11:39,929 --> 00:11:42,682 yes, there was, there was one boy. 204 00:11:42,765 --> 00:11:45,226 One boy who was nice. 205 00:11:45,309 --> 00:11:47,812 Ming Chon. 206 00:11:47,895 --> 00:11:50,189 He was a popular boy. Smart and funny, 207 00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:52,608 and athletic and handsome. 208 00:11:52,692 --> 00:11:56,821 Oh, Lord, when he'd look at me. Oh! 209 00:11:56,904 --> 00:12:00,658 I just... Oh, melt away like Carvel cake. 210 00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:07,957 When we were 16, everyone in the school 211 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,460 wanted to know who Ming was gonna take to the prom. 212 00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:13,629 All the girls and all the boys were hoping it would be them. 213 00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:16,048 And then one day after school, my grandma says, 214 00:12:16,132 --> 00:12:17,508 "There's a boy at the door," 215 00:12:17,592 --> 00:12:20,136 and I come to the door... 216 00:12:20,219 --> 00:12:21,471 and there was Ming. 217 00:12:24,682 --> 00:12:25,975 And he put his phone on 218 00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:29,479 and did a little solo flash mob dance. 219 00:12:29,562 --> 00:12:33,524 And it ended with a banner he had in his hands. 220 00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:37,028 "Will you go to the prom with me?" 221 00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:42,408 I fainted. 222 00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:45,661 Yeah. I fainted. 223 00:12:47,622 --> 00:12:49,540 Well, Ming picked me up from the ground, 224 00:12:49,624 --> 00:12:51,959 and when I came to and saw him, I... 225 00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,628 I just laughed. 226 00:12:55,338 --> 00:12:57,798 He didn't laugh, he was petrified. 227 00:12:57,882 --> 00:12:59,759 Here he was, the boy of my dreams, 228 00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:02,845 asking me to go to the school dance with him. 229 00:13:04,764 --> 00:13:06,432 -TYM: That sounds wonderful. 230 00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:07,934 Like a wonderful memory. 231 00:13:10,061 --> 00:13:11,521 -It was. 232 00:13:17,610 --> 00:13:19,237 I said no, of course. 233 00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:24,283 -TYM: What? 234 00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:28,329 -Yes, I told him thank you but I was busy. 235 00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:29,747 I told him I had to stay at home 236 00:13:29,830 --> 00:13:32,708 and help my grandmother with something or other. 237 00:13:32,792 --> 00:13:35,753 -TYM: Why? Why would you say no? 238 00:13:35,836 --> 00:13:38,548 -Oh, I knew what the kids would say, 239 00:13:38,631 --> 00:13:40,841 I knew what they would make of him. 240 00:13:43,177 --> 00:13:44,595 I mean, it would have been nice 241 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:46,973 for them to see me with him. 242 00:13:48,224 --> 00:13:50,309 It would have been nice to be seen. 243 00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:55,314 But he was so nice and... 244 00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:59,277 And so I said no. 245 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,364 And I thanked him and I went back inside. 246 00:14:03,447 --> 00:14:05,741 And I curled up in my mom's sweater, 247 00:14:05,825 --> 00:14:06,993 and I cried. 248 00:14:10,746 --> 00:14:12,582 I mean, honestly, I don't think he even 249 00:14:12,665 --> 00:14:14,750 really wanted to go to the dance with me. 250 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:17,628 I think he was just a nice boy who felt badly 251 00:14:17,712 --> 00:14:19,797 for a quiet girl who stopped dancing, 252 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:21,924 and I... 253 00:14:22,008 --> 00:14:23,884 Well, I didn't want to be a bother. 254 00:14:26,887 --> 00:14:28,139 So on prom night, 255 00:14:28,222 --> 00:14:29,557 me and granny watched an old movie. 256 00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:35,104 That was "Speed 2." 257 00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:37,189 Yes. 258 00:14:37,273 --> 00:14:41,235 With that wonderful screen star, 259 00:14:41,319 --> 00:14:42,528 Sandra Bullock. 260 00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:44,739 Do you remember her? 261 00:14:44,822 --> 00:14:46,073 She's so funny. 262 00:14:46,157 --> 00:14:47,366 Beautiful. 263 00:14:50,036 --> 00:14:53,122 It was 11 at night and Granny snoring on the couch, 264 00:14:53,205 --> 00:14:54,498 and there's a knock on the door, 265 00:14:54,582 --> 00:14:57,001 and I answer it and it's... 266 00:14:57,084 --> 00:14:59,378 Ming... 267 00:14:59,462 --> 00:15:03,591 standing there in his tuxedo and he looked so handsome. 268 00:15:03,674 --> 00:15:05,134 And he looked so kind. 269 00:15:05,217 --> 00:15:08,054 And he looked a little drunk. 270 00:15:08,137 --> 00:15:09,764 And the moon... 271 00:15:11,974 --> 00:15:15,436 The moon was shining down on him. 272 00:15:15,519 --> 00:15:17,271 Like out of a movie. 273 00:15:17,355 --> 00:15:21,901 Like an alien ship was beaming down right on him 274 00:15:21,984 --> 00:15:23,277 illuminating him, 275 00:15:23,361 --> 00:15:26,989 as if maybe the moon had taken my wish 276 00:15:27,073 --> 00:15:28,866 all those years ago about my dad 277 00:15:28,949 --> 00:15:31,911 and just got to hearing about it all these years later 278 00:15:31,994 --> 00:15:33,788 and couldn't get to it in time and... 279 00:15:33,871 --> 00:15:35,623 and couldn't do anything about it now, 280 00:15:35,706 --> 00:15:39,919 so it tried to make up for it, and it brought him here, Ming. 281 00:15:41,962 --> 00:15:45,758 And Ming said the whole night he was thinking about me. 282 00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:02,817 And... 283 00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:05,903 Anyway, he leans in for a kiss, and I... 284 00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:08,906 adventure ahead... 285 00:16:08,989 --> 00:16:11,075 I kissed him back. 286 00:16:11,158 --> 00:16:13,202 In the moonlight. 287 00:16:15,329 --> 00:16:16,580 And as soon as I pulled away, 288 00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:18,999 I ran back inside and shut the door. 289 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:20,543 And I danced. 290 00:16:31,721 --> 00:16:33,806 He called me right after but I didn't pick up, 291 00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:37,518 I was too scared, you know? 292 00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:38,686 Too scared. 293 00:16:40,646 --> 00:16:42,231 And I went to bed... 294 00:16:42,314 --> 00:16:46,068 I went to bed dreaming about that kiss. 295 00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:49,155 I thought about it every night. 296 00:16:49,238 --> 00:16:52,116 Day after night, night after day. 297 00:16:54,410 --> 00:16:56,579 Ming called again a few times that week, 298 00:16:56,662 --> 00:16:58,789 but I... 299 00:16:58,873 --> 00:17:01,041 Oh, I was too nervous to answer. 300 00:17:02,877 --> 00:17:05,546 I guess I... 301 00:17:05,629 --> 00:17:08,841 Well, I just didn't want him to say it was wrong or a mistake, 302 00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:10,551 or... or that he didn't want to give me 303 00:17:10,634 --> 00:17:14,221 the wrong idea, you know? 304 00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:16,891 I was trying to muster the courage. 305 00:17:16,974 --> 00:17:19,351 I was trying to muster it up. 306 00:17:21,437 --> 00:17:23,773 And I was going to call back, I was going to call and say 307 00:17:23,856 --> 00:17:26,609 what a lovely kiss that was. 308 00:17:26,692 --> 00:17:29,320 And maybe we should do it again. 309 00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,616 And every night I thought about that kiss 310 00:17:33,699 --> 00:17:35,159 and how full it made me, 311 00:17:35,242 --> 00:17:37,328 and how I was going to call him back, 312 00:17:37,411 --> 00:17:39,747 and what I was going to say and... 313 00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:45,669 And then one day, I'm standing in the market, 314 00:17:45,753 --> 00:17:48,130 and I see him there. 315 00:17:48,214 --> 00:17:49,673 And I smiled. 316 00:17:51,926 --> 00:17:54,136 And he sees me and he smiles back. 317 00:17:55,513 --> 00:17:56,722 And I wave. 318 00:17:59,225 --> 00:18:00,684 And he waves back. 319 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:05,856 And then we just drift together... 320 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:09,068 in the freezer aisle in front of the fish sticks. 321 00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:13,906 And then a woman with the curliest hair I've ever seen 322 00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:16,617 puts her hand on his shoulder. 323 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,578 "This is my wife, Carol," Ming says. 324 00:18:19,662 --> 00:18:22,248 And then two little kids... No, three little kids, 325 00:18:22,331 --> 00:18:25,251 two boys and a girl, grab him by the leg. 326 00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:30,297 "Dad, Dad, can we have Chocolate Hobnobs, please?" 327 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,217 And I looked down. 328 00:18:36,303 --> 00:18:37,805 My hands looked different. 329 00:18:40,599 --> 00:18:42,560 I have these wrinkles now. 330 00:18:44,395 --> 00:18:48,566 My legs have varicose veins and... 331 00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:51,777 and I'm, um... a little bit lumpy in parts, 332 00:18:51,861 --> 00:18:55,906 and stretchy and flaky and... 333 00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:57,825 and I have a few gray hairs and... 334 00:18:59,827 --> 00:19:02,204 And I look in the freezer window where the fish sticks are 335 00:19:02,288 --> 00:19:06,041 and I... I see myself and suddenly... 336 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:09,003 I'm 51. 337 00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:12,339 And he is, too, and I... 338 00:19:12,423 --> 00:19:16,343 suppose I'd, uh... I just lost track of time. 339 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,861 He introduced me to her, his wife, Carol. 340 00:19:35,279 --> 00:19:37,323 She seemed uninterested in me. 341 00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:43,913 If she only knew how much he meant to me, 342 00:19:43,996 --> 00:19:46,874 I think she might have been more interested in me. 343 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:52,630 If only Ming knew how much he meant to me. 344 00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:58,177 If only I knew how much I meant to me. 345 00:19:59,428 --> 00:20:01,847 And I thought... 346 00:20:01,931 --> 00:20:03,349 what if those were our kids? 347 00:20:05,351 --> 00:20:09,813 I thought... I would have been a great mom. 348 00:20:09,897 --> 00:20:11,357 And I thought... 349 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,401 if I died, my kids would have kept my sweater, 350 00:20:14,485 --> 00:20:18,030 and curled up with it when things got hard 351 00:20:18,113 --> 00:20:19,615 or they got gassy. 352 00:20:19,698 --> 00:20:23,077 And I thought, oh, I... 353 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:27,873 I really should have picked up his call. 354 00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:30,125 And I thought, why do I always think 355 00:20:30,209 --> 00:20:32,044 I'm going to be a bother? 356 00:20:34,046 --> 00:20:39,510 And I thought, why am I so scared of being seen? 357 00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:48,060 At least when I was younger, I had some semblance of choice 358 00:20:48,143 --> 00:20:51,897 in the matter of my invisibility. 359 00:20:51,981 --> 00:20:55,317 But now, being of a certain age, 360 00:20:55,401 --> 00:20:58,487 to put it politely... 361 00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:01,031 Well... 362 00:21:01,115 --> 00:21:04,326 that's what scares me the most. 363 00:21:04,410 --> 00:21:05,619 That I gave up all those good years 364 00:21:05,703 --> 00:21:07,621 because I was scared, 365 00:21:07,705 --> 00:21:12,084 and now I'm here and I'm losing my say in the matter. 366 00:21:13,377 --> 00:21:16,296 Old age is a strange, blunt foe. 367 00:21:17,631 --> 00:21:19,216 And it fights dirty. 368 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:21,677 It isn't fair. 369 00:21:25,305 --> 00:21:28,434 At first, I started noticing it years ago 370 00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:32,604 when I turned 64, this matter of "old." 371 00:21:34,982 --> 00:21:36,900 Little things. 372 00:21:36,984 --> 00:21:39,403 But little things add up. 373 00:21:40,988 --> 00:21:43,032 It was the bus ride back from the funeral 374 00:21:43,115 --> 00:21:46,660 just a couple of months ago that did it. 375 00:21:46,744 --> 00:21:48,954 I was waiting. I was on the bus for some time, 376 00:21:49,038 --> 00:21:52,249 and I was waiting for my stop, and an hour goes by, 377 00:21:52,332 --> 00:21:53,751 and then two, 378 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:56,712 until I'm the last one on the bus. 379 00:21:56,795 --> 00:21:58,922 Just me and the driver. 380 00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:04,344 I look out the window and I don't recognize the streets. 381 00:22:04,428 --> 00:22:06,597 And finally, the bus turns into a parking lot, 382 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,390 the bus depot. 383 00:22:08,474 --> 00:22:09,725 The bus stops, 384 00:22:09,808 --> 00:22:13,353 and the engine cuts and the lights turn off. 385 00:22:13,437 --> 00:22:16,648 And I didn't even say anything. I just sat there. 386 00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:20,819 I just sat there until the driver realized, 387 00:22:20,903 --> 00:22:25,365 he... he was walking off the bus when he noticed me. 388 00:22:25,449 --> 00:22:28,243 He jumped like I was a ghost. 389 00:22:28,327 --> 00:22:31,163 "Oh! Didn't see you there," he said. 390 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:37,377 I didn't see you there. 391 00:22:43,884 --> 00:22:45,135 How unfair. 392 00:22:46,386 --> 00:22:47,846 I paid my fare. 393 00:22:48,972 --> 00:22:50,390 Took my seat. 394 00:22:50,474 --> 00:22:53,393 But how unfair not to see me. 395 00:22:53,477 --> 00:22:56,939 How unfair not to know that I have things inside of me, too. 396 00:22:57,022 --> 00:22:58,941 I... I have things I feel 397 00:22:59,024 --> 00:23:00,984 and I say and I think and I know. 398 00:23:01,068 --> 00:23:02,361 I... I have funny jokes sometimes. 399 00:23:02,444 --> 00:23:04,571 Really funny jokes. 400 00:23:04,655 --> 00:23:07,157 Jokes that the late hosts would use on their shows 401 00:23:07,241 --> 00:23:08,992 if they knew them. 402 00:23:09,076 --> 00:23:11,203 Yeah, I'm bold in that way. 403 00:23:11,286 --> 00:23:13,539 And I'm wickedly smart. 404 00:23:13,622 --> 00:23:15,582 I mean, sometimes I think of things, you know, 405 00:23:15,666 --> 00:23:18,043 inventions and things that if I had the time 406 00:23:18,127 --> 00:23:19,378 or the money and... 407 00:23:20,712 --> 00:23:24,550 And, heck, I'm sexy in here, too. 408 00:23:24,633 --> 00:23:26,426 I'm sexy. 409 00:23:28,095 --> 00:23:31,223 I could put on a red lip, I could put on some rouge. 410 00:23:32,683 --> 00:23:34,685 I could dance... 411 00:23:34,768 --> 00:23:37,396 and love and excite and need, 412 00:23:37,479 --> 00:23:40,566 and deserve and exist and... 413 00:23:40,649 --> 00:23:42,609 And I am a person. 414 00:23:46,071 --> 00:23:48,365 That's what I wanted to say to him; 415 00:23:48,448 --> 00:23:50,409 to the bus driver on that cold bus 416 00:23:50,492 --> 00:23:52,744 in that cold bus depot. 417 00:23:54,371 --> 00:23:57,666 It's what I wanted to say but I just said... 418 00:24:00,169 --> 00:24:03,297 "I'm sorry. My fault. 419 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:06,884 I should have been more 'seeable.'" 420 00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:10,345 And he told me not to worry, that these things happen. 421 00:24:12,848 --> 00:24:14,725 But why do these things happen? 422 00:24:14,808 --> 00:24:18,145 Why am I scared of automatic doors, 423 00:24:18,228 --> 00:24:20,856 and deli counters and the bus? 424 00:24:28,572 --> 00:24:31,116 And so that night... 425 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:35,412 that night when I got home... 426 00:24:35,495 --> 00:24:38,999 I realized that if I was destined to disappear, 427 00:24:39,082 --> 00:24:42,336 I was going to do it on my own terms. 428 00:24:46,506 --> 00:24:48,634 Adventure ahead. 429 00:24:51,595 --> 00:24:55,474 So I sat on my bed thinking about how to end it. 430 00:24:56,975 --> 00:24:58,268 But before I did, 431 00:24:58,352 --> 00:25:00,604 I remembered I had fruit in the fridge. 432 00:25:01,355 --> 00:25:02,981 Mm. 433 00:25:03,065 --> 00:25:05,400 And it was supposed to go bad the next day. 434 00:25:06,443 --> 00:25:07,945 So I went into the kitchen, 435 00:25:08,028 --> 00:25:11,531 I took the fruit from the refrigerator to eat it. 436 00:25:11,615 --> 00:25:17,329 And there I ate the most delicious strawberry 437 00:25:17,412 --> 00:25:19,957 I've ever eaten in my whole life. 438 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,627 And I sat there for a while at the kitchen table... 439 00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:27,339 Well, no, for hours, actually, really, 440 00:25:27,422 --> 00:25:29,049 thinking about the strawberry. 441 00:25:31,969 --> 00:25:35,722 And it grew quiet so I turned the television on. 442 00:25:35,806 --> 00:25:38,475 And it was "The Hologram Singer." 443 00:25:38,558 --> 00:25:41,937 And then, this commercial came on. 444 00:25:42,020 --> 00:25:45,232 "Seniors wanted." 445 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:49,319 Right there on the television. 446 00:25:51,905 --> 00:25:54,533 No one ever wanted me before. 447 00:25:58,287 --> 00:25:59,788 Why did I apply? 448 00:26:02,124 --> 00:26:05,043 I lied to you before, you know. 449 00:26:05,127 --> 00:26:07,045 It wasn't because I wanted adventure. 450 00:26:12,884 --> 00:26:15,345 It was because I felt like the kind of person 451 00:26:15,429 --> 00:26:17,431 that if you gave everyone on Earth 452 00:26:17,514 --> 00:26:23,395 a number a the deli counter, every single person... 453 00:26:23,478 --> 00:26:25,147 there wouldn't be one left for me. 454 00:26:27,899 --> 00:26:31,111 And I thought that maybe somewhere 455 00:26:31,194 --> 00:26:35,490 in the farthest reaches of the universe... 456 00:26:35,574 --> 00:26:37,701 I would finally have a spot. 457 00:26:40,245 --> 00:26:45,751 I would finally be counted. 458 00:26:55,552 --> 00:26:57,804 -TYM: I don't think it's true. 459 00:26:57,888 --> 00:26:59,890 -PEG: What? 460 00:26:59,973 --> 00:27:02,726 -TYM: I think Ming wanted to go to the prom with you. 461 00:27:02,809 --> 00:27:04,478 And to kiss you. 462 00:27:04,561 --> 00:27:05,729 And to have you pick up his call 463 00:27:05,812 --> 00:27:08,023 so he could ask you on a date. 464 00:27:08,106 --> 00:27:09,733 And to one day marry you. 465 00:27:11,610 --> 00:27:12,819 I see you, Peg. 466 00:27:14,363 --> 00:27:17,032 -And you don't even have eyes. 467 00:27:17,115 --> 00:27:19,618 -TYM: I don't need eyes. 468 00:27:19,701 --> 00:27:22,245 There's more of you to see than anyone I've seen 469 00:27:22,329 --> 00:27:25,374 or known or heard in my whole existence. 470 00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:29,086 And you don't need eyes for that. 471 00:27:32,047 --> 00:27:33,090 -Really? 472 00:27:34,299 --> 00:27:35,342 -TYM: Really. 473 00:27:41,848 --> 00:27:44,142 -How far are we? 474 00:27:44,226 --> 00:27:47,104 -TYM: From where? -From where we're heading. 475 00:27:47,187 --> 00:27:49,815 -TYM: We're here, Peg. 476 00:27:49,898 --> 00:27:51,566 We are where we're heading. 477 00:27:56,780 --> 00:28:00,742 -Maybe I... I could call Ming, 478 00:28:00,826 --> 00:28:02,702 ask him if he'd like to get dinner one night, 479 00:28:02,786 --> 00:28:05,580 or see a movie and... 480 00:28:05,664 --> 00:28:07,207 and maybe I could dance. 481 00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:10,335 Like I used to before I stopped. 482 00:28:12,587 --> 00:28:15,173 And maybe I could be myself again. 483 00:28:15,257 --> 00:28:19,594 But that version of me that I've always been 484 00:28:19,678 --> 00:28:23,265 was a girl who said "yes" and wasn't scared... 485 00:28:23,348 --> 00:28:24,975 and could see herself. 486 00:28:30,647 --> 00:28:32,941 Well, maybe I'll start. 487 00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:36,570 Maybe today is a new day. 488 00:28:36,653 --> 00:28:39,865 I mean, 71 isn't so old when you think about it. 489 00:28:39,948 --> 00:28:44,035 71 isn't so old from where I'm sitting. 490 00:28:44,119 --> 00:28:47,873 So, starting today, I'm gonna be a whole new me. 491 00:28:47,956 --> 00:28:50,834 A whole new Peg. 492 00:28:50,917 --> 00:28:55,589 Today, it's time for Peg to do Peg, as they say. 493 00:28:55,672 --> 00:28:56,715 How about that? 494 00:29:00,302 --> 00:29:04,556 So, can you turn this thing around, Tym? 495 00:29:04,639 --> 00:29:08,059 -TYM: Peg, this is a ship of no return. 496 00:29:09,811 --> 00:29:11,938 -Well... 497 00:29:12,022 --> 00:29:14,941 maybe you can make an exception? 498 00:29:19,863 --> 00:29:21,448 -TYM: I'll see what I can do. 499 00:29:23,450 --> 00:29:25,577 -Only if it's not a bother. 500 00:29:28,246 --> 00:29:29,915 Or maybe even if it is. 501 00:29:42,302 --> 00:29:43,970 to Major Tom 502 00:29:44,054 --> 00:29:47,641 That's it. That's it. 503 00:29:47,724 --> 00:29:48,767 That's the song. 504 00:29:50,810 --> 00:29:52,145 That's it. 505 00:29:52,229 --> 00:29:55,023 want to know 506 00:29:58,902 --> 00:30:04,783 the capsule if you dare 507 00:30:06,993 --> 00:30:11,957 to Ground Control 508 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,670 the door 509 00:30:16,753 --> 00:30:22,133 a most peculiar way 510 00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:30,016 very different today 511 00:30:48,285 --> 00:30:54,624 I can do