1
00:00:06,860 --> 00:00:10,100
I can't keep up, May. Are you eating
gluten or you're not eating gluten?

2
00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:10,340
It's oats. It's no gluten.
gluten or you're not eating gluten?

3
00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:11,740
It's oats. It's no gluten.

4
00:00:11,740 --> 00:00:13,820
HELEN: No gluten.
(PHONE RINGS)

5
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:14,060
HELEN: No gluten.
(PHONE RINGS)
I wake up with Today!

6
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:15,580
I wake up with Today!

7
00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,540
It's for you.

8
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:21,100
Yeah, it's my phone. Right?

9
00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:23,340
Hello? Yeah, George, I know.

10
00:00:23,340 --> 00:00:27,300
You texted me last night.
OK. I'll see you at work.

11
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:27,540
You texted me last night.
Hey, Graham.

12
00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:29,140
Hey, Graham.

13
00:00:29,140 --> 00:00:29,380
You know, if you want to win money,
Hey, Graham.

14
00:00:29,380 --> 00:00:31,620
You know, if you want to win money,
you got to register for that thing.

15
00:00:31,620 --> 00:00:33,140
They don't just ring random numbers.
Really?

16
00:00:33,140 --> 00:00:35,860
Yeah.
Well, that's a waste of two years.

17
00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:38,620
Well, what about that other show,
the...the Cash Cow? How's that work?

18
00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:41,820
Oh, I think the cow just comes to
your house with a big bag of money.

19
00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,140
Is that right?
No, May, I'm kidding.

20
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:44,820
Come on!
Oh, get out!

21
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,380
See ya later, guys. See ya, Artie.
Bye.

22
00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:07,500
Helen!
Cake in the meeting room at 11.

23
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,780
Yeah, I know. You called me.
And texted.

24
00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:12,780
And invited me to the Facebook event
'Cake at 11'.

25
00:01:12,780 --> 00:01:15,340
I'm excited. I got a mud cake.
Boo. Mud cake.

26
00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:18,060
So overrated.
Why didn't you get a fruitcake?

27
00:01:18,060 --> 00:01:20,540
We're not in
an old people's home, Helen.

28
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:22,900
Rude.

29
00:01:24,380 --> 00:01:26,100
Oh. Morning, Helen.

30
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:29,100
Morning, Roz.
Cake at 11 in the meeting room.

31
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,620
Big announcement.
Yep. George told me.

32
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:33,860
Hope you like mud cake.
Nope. Too wet.

33
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,900
It's like it's not cooked properly.
What's that, now?

34
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:40,460
I said, "Yep. Yummy.
Cannot wait. Mmm! Delicious."

35
00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:40,700
I said, "Yep. Yummy.
My God, she's like a bat.

36
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:43,060
My God, she's like a bat.

37
00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:50,340
There we go. There's
an English breakfast. Alrighty!

38
00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:50,580
There we go. There's
an English breakfast. Alrighty!
Phil! Let's make a will. Go.

39
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:52,580
Phil! Let's make a will. Go.

40
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:55,820
I want to be very prescriptive.
I don't want any fighting.

41
00:01:55,820 --> 00:01:56,060
I want to be very prescriptive.
Good idea. Sensible.

42
00:01:56,060 --> 00:01:57,140
Good idea. Sensible.

43
00:01:57,140 --> 00:02:00,260
So, shall we start
with the fitted sheet sets?

44
00:02:00,260 --> 00:02:02,460
(LAUGHS) Yeah.

45
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:06,460
I'm sorry. Yep.
You're serious. OK. Sure.

46
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:06,700
I'm sorry. Yep.
"Fitted sheet set."

47
00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:09,060
"Fitted sheet set."

48
00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:11,300
Who's the lucky recipient?

49
00:02:13,620 --> 00:02:15,020
Forks.

50
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:17,620
Uh...uh, yes.

51
00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:18,980
(MUTTERS)

52
00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,860
That's the linen cupboard complete.

53
00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:27,780
Well done us.
Mmm!

54
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:30,420
Shall we move on
to the kitchen drawers?

55
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,380
Mmm?
Oh! We could...

56
00:02:32,380 --> 00:02:34,340
The problem is,
coming up to 11, I'm afraid, Phil.

57
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,260
Oh, really?
Is that the hour gone already?

58
00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:38,220
Mmm.
There's just so much to get through!

59
00:02:38,220 --> 00:02:40,300
Oh.
Should we schedule another meet?

60
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,820
We could, or...I've had an idea.
Grab your stuff.

61
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:43,940
Oh.

62
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:45,420
Here's what I'm thinking.

63
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:46,980
How about you give me
that little book of yours,

64
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,140
I work from that, and
I give you a call when it's all done?

65
00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:51,740
What do you reckon?
You might miss something.

66
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:53,980
Oh, no, I won't. Come on. Give me the
book. And then you pay a flat fee.

67
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:55,500
Otherwise I've got to charge you
by the hour.

68
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:55,740
Otherwise I've got to charge you
Just...Phil, just let me...

69
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:57,060
Just...Phil, just let me...

70
00:02:57,060 --> 00:03:00,100
OK. I've got half now, so you
may as well give me the other half.

71
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,940
And I'll tell you what,
you are gonna thank me for that,

72
00:03:02,940 --> 00:03:05,220
so why don't you get out there,
enjoy all that extra time,

73
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:05,460
so why don't you get out there,
and money, I just saved you?

74
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:06,860
and money, I just saved you?

75
00:03:06,860 --> 00:03:08,580
You're welcome, Phil.
(TAPS ON GLASS)

76
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,620
Yeah, I'm coming, Roz. Jesus. I know.

77
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,540
Cake at 11.

78
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,020
Finally! Ta-da!

79
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:19,900
Mud cake! Well done, George.
Great work, Georgie!

80
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,100
I'll plate up.
ROZ: Alright.

81
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:22,340
I'll plate up.
Very exciting news.

82
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,260
Very exciting news.

83
00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:28,420
We have been nominated
for a Local Business Award.

84
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:29,740
Great stuff.

85
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,700
I really want to win this one, guys.

86
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:33,220
Roz is back on deck next month,
and an award

87
00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:35,860
would really help get
the stink of her suspension off us.

88
00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:37,620
We've bought a table
for the awards dinner.

89
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,340
And, uh, partners are welcome.
As are famous fathers.

90
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,220
I'm looking at you, Fisk. Wouldn't
that stick it up the competition?

91
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,980
Supreme Court judge
on the Gruber table.

92
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:48,420
Can I bring someone?
RAY: Yes. Bring your girlfriend.

93
00:03:48,420 --> 00:03:50,300
Or your boyfriend.
Which is it, George?

94
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,500
Ray, you can't ask that.
RAY: Why not?

95
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:51,740
Ray, you can't ask that.
You can. I'm pansexual.

96
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,500
You can. I'm pansexual.

97
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,460
Good! Great!

98
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,660
See? It's fine.
Mmm.

99
00:03:57,660 --> 00:04:01,420
Alright. You bring your dad.
And you can bring Pan.

100
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,460
Let's win this one, guys.
Come on, Team Gruber!

101
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,060
Team Gruber!
RAY: Yes!

102
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,420
Team Gruber!
Hey, no, you two.

103
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:06,660
Team Gruber!
Mmm. Sit down.

104
00:04:06,660 --> 00:04:08,460
Mmm. Sit down.

105
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:10,660
Now, judging is done
by anonymous visit.

106
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:12,900
It could be anyone at any time.

107
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:16,940
And I want game faces on
24/7, please.

108
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:19,780
Oh.
It's just jokes, Roz.

109
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:20,020
Oh.
I was having fun with mud cake.

110
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:21,260
I was having fun with mud cake.

111
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,340
Thought you didn't like mud cake,
Helen.

112
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,740
Well, it's still cake. I'll eat it.
I mean, God.

113
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:28,380
Hey, is Roz
really not suspended anymore?

114
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:28,620
Hey, is Roz
GEORGE: Oh, I don't know.

115
00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:30,420
GEORGE: Oh, I don't know.

116
00:04:34,740 --> 00:04:37,860
OK, Petro, go. Talk. What do you
need? What can I do for you?

117
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,140
I believe I'm the illegitimate son
of Georgios Papadakis.

118
00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:43,340
The newsreader?
The beloved voice of the nation.

119
00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:43,580
The newsreader?
Well, I'm sorry for your loss.

120
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:45,260
Well, I'm sorry for your loss.

121
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:48,500
A loss made all the more tragic
by the fact that I never met him.

122
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:48,740
A loss made all the more tragic
Did you not just say you're his son?

123
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:51,540
Did you not just say you're his son?

124
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:51,780
I believe that I am.
Did you not just say you're his son?

125
00:04:51,780 --> 00:04:54,020
I believe that I am.
Ah. OK.

126
00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:55,780
So, by any chance, would you be here

127
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:57,980
to make a claim
on the Papadakis estate?

128
00:04:57,980 --> 00:04:58,220
to make a claim
This is not about the money.

129
00:04:58,220 --> 00:04:59,700
This is not about the money.

130
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:02,580
I just want to be acknowledged
as part of the family.

131
00:05:02,580 --> 00:05:04,460
Right. Do you have any proof
you're related?

132
00:05:04,460 --> 00:05:04,700
Right. Do you have any proof
Paperwork? A birth certificate?

133
00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:06,940
Paperwork? A birth certificate?

134
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,900
I have this.

135
00:05:09,900 --> 00:05:13,220
This is a restraining order
that says you are not allowed

136
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:16,620
within 50 metres of any member
of the Papadakis family.

137
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,660
That's correct.
It's upsetting for them.

138
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:21,860
I think because I remind them
so much of Papa Georgios.

139
00:05:21,860 --> 00:05:25,380
It says here it's because you
jumped into the grave at the funeral.

140
00:05:25,380 --> 00:05:25,620
It says here it's because you
Please. Untrue.

141
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,060
Please. Untrue.

142
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,020
They asked
that family members step forward

143
00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,340
and throw some dirt into the hole.

144
00:05:30,340 --> 00:05:31,820
You mean the grave.
Yes.

145
00:05:31,820 --> 00:05:33,740
But when I stepped forward,
Yiayia Papadakis,

146
00:05:33,740 --> 00:05:38,380
she screamed and pushed me,
like this, and I fell into the hole.

147
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,180
Grave.
Yes.

148
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:41,500
So you don't want money?

149
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,980
No.

150
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:44,820
Uh, well, I don't NOT want money.

151
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:46,700
What makes you think you're related?

152
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:48,980
(LAUGHS)

153
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:50,940
Look at me.

154
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:52,980
Now look at him.

155
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:54,540
What do you see?

156
00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:56,740
The future
if I don't stay on top of my waxing.

157
00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:59,180
I can't believe
I never got to meet him.

158
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,780
Have you met your father, Helen?

159
00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:02,940
Yes. Many times.

160
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:04,980
Do you cherish that relationship?
Cherish?

161
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:05,220
Do you cherish that relationship?
Oh...we text a lot.

162
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,740
Oh...we text a lot.

163
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:10,860
But do you tell him
that you love him and cherish him?

164
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:13,100
I always send him a thumbs up
or sometimes clapping hands.

165
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:16,980
Do you know, I think the best thing
to do in this case is a DNA test.

166
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,020
(SIGHS)
OK?

167
00:06:20,020 --> 00:06:22,540
OK.
OK.

168
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:25,020
I assume you will leave the room.

169
00:06:26,060 --> 00:06:27,820
That would definitely make me
more comfortable.

170
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:28,060
That would definitely make me
What?

171
00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:29,220
What?

172
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:31,620
Uh, is there a, uh, receptacle?

173
00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,540
No. We're not doing it now!

174
00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:33,780
And...and we're not gonna do it
No. We're not doing it now!

175
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:37,020
And...and we're not gonna do it
from there! Jesus!

176
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:40,420
The first thing I have to do
is contact the Papadakis family.

177
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:40,660
The first thing I have to do
Please...

178
00:06:40,660 --> 00:06:42,060
Please...

179
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,220
..tell them I love 'em.

180
00:06:44,220 --> 00:06:47,340
Yeah. I will send them a thumbs up.

181
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:47,580
It's not the whole recipe,
Yeah. I will send them a thumbs up.

182
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:49,020
It's not the whole recipe,
'cause Mum won't tell me

183
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:49,260
It's not the whole recipe,
everything that's in the marinade.

184
00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,700
everything that's in the marinade.

185
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:53,100
Georgios Papadakis!

186
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,180
My mum's favourite newsreader!
(LAUGHS)

187
00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,500
Do you mind?
Oh, I would be honoured.

188
00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,340
Oh, this is outrageous.

189
00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:02,140
Hang on a sec.

190
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,220
Didn't you die?
(CAMERA CLICKS)

191
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,060
Raymond, do you have a minute?

192
00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:14,380
Make it quick, Roz.

193
00:07:14,380 --> 00:07:18,020
With my reinstatement pending,
what is the plan vis-a-vis Helen?

194
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:21,100
Staying? Going? Thoughts?
RAY: Yeah.

195
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,740
I am touching cloth here, Rozzie.
Put a pin in that.

196
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:23,980
I am touching cloth here, Rozzie.
We'll talk about it later.

197
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:25,700
We'll talk about it later.

198
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:34,060
(CLICKS MOUSE)
Are you ready for me, Roz?

199
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:35,380
Helen! Good.

200
00:07:35,380 --> 00:07:36,540
Yep.
Come, come.

201
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:39,060
I need to talk to you about
the judging criteria for the awards,

202
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,740
specifically appearance.

203
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:43,660
Oh, OK. Yep. Good. Sure.

204
00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:47,220
This one brown suit of yours
you're so attached to.

205
00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:49,940
No, it's not one suit. I've
got three of these, all the same.

206
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:52,220
Good God, why?
It's just easier.

207
00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,260
Who can be bothered deciding
what to wear every morning?

208
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:58,620
Why is it so baggy? Did you
use to be fuller-figured? Plus-size?

209
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,100
Saying did I use to be fat?
No.

210
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,020
I'm just wondering, Helen,
if you could, just for once,

211
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:02,260
I'm just wondering, Helen,
be a team player.

212
00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,500
be a team player.

213
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:03,740
Maybe you could jazz it up
be a team player.

214
00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:07,500
Maybe you could jazz it up
or get it taken in.

215
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:12,580
What about if I wore something loose
but more fashionable?

216
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:15,500
Don't you dare turn up here
wearing a caftan, Helen.

217
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:18,660
OK. And in your mind,
is a caftan the same as a muumuu?

218
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,700
(CLICKS MOUSE)
OK.

219
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,580
muumuu's a no-no. Got it.

220
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,100
No muumuu.

221
00:08:39,340 --> 00:08:41,140
MAN: 10 more seconds, Judge.
Stay with it.

222
00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:43,580
Can you go the distance, J-dog?
I know you can.

223
00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:45,900
In three, two, a...

224
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,420
..and one.

225
00:08:47,420 --> 00:08:49,900
Step down. Shake it off.
Good job, guys. Well done.

226
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,660
Sorry, Viktor. I'm a bit early.

227
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:54,740
Oh, Christ, Dad. Are you alright?
Yes, yes.

228
00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:58,780
All well. I just need to, um,
shower off and...towel down.

229
00:08:58,780 --> 00:09:01,820
It's just the after-shakes.
It's good. Means it's working.

230
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,340
Right. Yeah. Ooh.
Same time next week, guys?

231
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,860
Yes, lovely. Thanks, Blayden.
Yes. Perfect.

232
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:09,380
You know, actually, I might pop
upstairs for a shower too, I think.

233
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:11,740
Not together, Tip.
Oh, don't be silly.

234
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:11,980
Not together, Tip.
(BEEPING)

235
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,820
(BEEPING)

236
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:17,180
Hey! Blayden Tork, T-O-R-K,
Torking Fitness.

237
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,860
What's your FOC, Helen?
My what, sorry?

238
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:21,820
Uh, FOC, fitness of choice.
What's your fitness of choice?

239
00:09:21,820 --> 00:09:24,820
Oh! Um, I walk my dog every day,
so...yeah.

240
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:25,060
Oh! Um, I walk my dog every day,
And for fitness?

241
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,580
And for fitness?

242
00:09:26,580 --> 00:09:28,060
Um...

243
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:30,060
..when I'm walking my dog,

244
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:32,820
sometimes if I remember, I clench...

245
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:34,300
..clench my bum, so, um...

246
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:37,100
..so, yeah,
clench walking is my FOC, yeah.

247
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:41,460
Mm-hm. How about a quick shake
on the Vibratron? Get your buzz on.

248
00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:43,980
Mmm.
Yeah.

249
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:49,020
Can you feel the fat melting?
(VOICE VIBRATES) Um...

250
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:52,380
Ooh. I can definitely
feel it wobbling.

251
00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:52,620
Ooh. I can definitely
Um! Oh. Egg?

252
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,860
Um! Oh. Egg?

253
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:57,060
Nah, man. I'm good, thanks.

254
00:09:57,060 --> 00:09:59,300
Blayden Blast protein powder.
Free sample.

255
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,660
No.

256
00:10:00,660 --> 00:10:01,660
OK.

257
00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:05,980
How long before I'm, like,
thin or whatever?

258
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:08,580
Keep going.
OK.

259
00:10:08,580 --> 00:10:08,820
Keep going.
(LOUD RATTLING)

260
00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:11,220
(LOUD RATTLING)

261
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,900
ANTHONY: Sorry, what?

262
00:10:12,900 --> 00:10:14,580
I said, I had a bit of a weird day!

263
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:16,420
I think my job is under review.

264
00:10:16,420 --> 00:10:18,980
Uh, Tip. Tip.

265
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:20,620
Sorry.

266
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,860
What was that, Helen?
I think my job's under review.

267
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:24,540
I don't know
if they're gonna keep me on.

268
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,100
Well, I guess you'd better
make yourself indispensable.

269
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:29,620
Mmm! Not a good time
to be unemployed, Helen.

270
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:31,860
Yeah, I know that. Thanks, Viktor.

271
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,900
Not for you. You're driving.

272
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,780
Is there anything I can do?

273
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,260
Yes.

274
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,820
Could you please
come to the Business Awards night?

275
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:43,820
My boss would love it if you sat
at our table. He would love it.

276
00:10:43,820 --> 00:10:45,940
Of course!
Oh, Helen, don't be silly.

277
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,340
We'd love to.
Really?

278
00:10:48,340 --> 00:10:48,580
We'd love to.
Thanks, Dad.

279
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,060
Thanks, Dad.

280
00:10:51,460 --> 00:10:53,220
You know, I don't say it enough,
but I...I really...

281
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:53,460
You know, I don't say it enough,
..I cherish you, Dad.

282
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:55,020
..I cherish you, Dad.

283
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:55,260
What?
..I cherish you, Dad.

284
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,860
What?
You what him?

285
00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:57,100
What?
I cher...I cherish him.

286
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,340
I cher...I cherish him.

287
00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:01,140
That's an odd thing to say.
Is it?

288
00:11:01,140 --> 00:11:04,460
Do you need money?
No! I'm being warm and loving.

289
00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:04,700
Do you need money?
Aren't I?

290
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:05,940
Aren't I?

291
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:06,180
It's just making everyone
Aren't I?

292
00:11:06,180 --> 00:11:08,460
It's just making everyone
feel uncomfortable.

293
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,980
Let's eat.

294
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,700
OK.

295
00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:22,460
I need something smart,
like maybe a nice shirt or...

296
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:25,860
Oh, just help yourself.
What's mine is yours.

297
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:26,100
Oh, just help yourself.
OK. Ooh. OK.

298
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,620
OK. Ooh. OK.

299
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:31,020
Did you find something to wear?

300
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,660
I've got that exact same shirt.

301
00:11:32,660 --> 00:11:35,340
No, I did not. OK.

302
00:11:35,340 --> 00:11:37,100
These are some of my old work suits.

303
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,700
So why don't you see
if one of those fits?

304
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:38,940
So why don't you see
Thanks, May. Great.

305
00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,620
Thanks, May. Great.

306
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:43,380
Ooh. Alright.

307
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,500
(DOOR OPENS)

308
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:54,620
Webmaster! I've come jazzy.
What do you think?

309
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,900
Nice badge.
Yeah. It's covering the airline logo.

310
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,980
I'm actually wearing my aunt's
old flight attendant uniform.

311
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:01,260
Now, I've come up with a plan
about how we can get a DNA sample

312
00:12:01,260 --> 00:12:01,500
Now, I've come up with a plan
from Thomas Papadakis.

313
00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,300
from Thomas Papadakis.

314
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,380
Ooh! Me too.

315
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:04,620
We tempt him
Ooh! Me too.

316
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,860
We tempt him
with a delicious glass of Scotch.

317
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:10,740
And then we sit back and laugh
as he leaves his DNA all over it.

318
00:12:10,740 --> 00:12:11,020
Yeah. I thought I could just ask him
to do a DNA test.
And then we sit back and laugh
as he leaves his DNA all over it.

319
00:12:11,020 --> 00:12:13,700
Yeah. I thought I could just ask him
to do a DNA test.

320
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:13,980
Yeah. I thought I could just ask him
to do a DNA test.
(TAPPING ON GLASS)
Oh. There's the angry tapper.

321
00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,860
(TAPPING ON GLASS)
Oh. There's the angry tapper.

322
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:16,100
(TAPPING ON GLASS)
Yep, yep, yep, yep.

323
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:17,500
Yep, yep, yep, yep.

324
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:17,740
Thank you.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.

325
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:19,780
Thank you.
Morning.

326
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,380
Come and give me a hand, you two.
(DOOR CLOSES)

327
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:22,620
Come and give me a hand, you two.
ROZ: Now...from today,

328
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,980
ROZ: Now...from today,

329
00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:28,460
I want every potential mystery judge
to get a goodie bag.

330
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:31,020
Ooh! Someone say goodie bags?
Hey, Ray.

331
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,260
Let's have a look.
Good news for you.

332
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:34,740
Guess who's coming
to the Business Awards.

333
00:12:34,740 --> 00:12:38,140
My dad.
Yes! Well done, Fisk.

334
00:12:38,140 --> 00:12:40,740
What have YOU come as, Fisk?
Is that a Rex Airlines uniform?

335
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,540
I'm being a team player.
You're being a bit silly.

336
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:46,140
Look. Squishy gavel.

337
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,620
(GAVEL SQUEAKS)
Ooh! In the tum-tum.

338
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:55,460
Mr Papadakis. Helen Tudor-Fisk.

339
00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:56,940
Thank you very much for coming in.

340
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:57,180
I realise this is a difficult time
Thank you very much for coming in.

341
00:12:57,180 --> 00:13:00,860
I realise this is a difficult time
and I am sorry for your loss.

342
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:01,100
I realise this is a difficult time
Goodie bag?

343
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,180
Goodie bag?

344
00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:04,940
Can I just give you a DNA sample
and get out of here?

345
00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:07,740
That's what you want, right?
Wow. Yep. That was easy.

346
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:10,420
Thing is, my client, Petro Andarakis,
he believes...

347
00:13:10,420 --> 00:13:13,540
Yeah, yeah.
I know what that nutjob believes.

348
00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:15,420
What do you need? Hair? Pubes?

349
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,900
What?
No. I really don't need pubes.

350
00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:21,780
Not sure why everyone thinks DNA has
to come from your pants. It doesn't.

351
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:25,325
All I need is a couple of these
swabs, run that round your mouth

352
00:13:25,325 --> 00:13:25,385
All I need is a couple of these
and then pop it back into the tube.

353
00:13:25,385 --> 00:13:26,860
and then pop it back into the tube.

354
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:27,100
(DOOR BANGS)
and then pop it back into the tube.

355
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,980
(DOOR BANGS)
OK. And then...

356
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,220
(DOOR BANGS)
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

357
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,940
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

358
00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:33,980
OK. Or I could pop it back in
for you.

359
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,620
What's he doing here?
Oh, oh. Hey, hey, hey. No, no. Crap.

360
00:13:36,620 --> 00:13:39,020
You can't be here.
Yassou, brother!

361
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,460
No.
Helen told me you might come in.

362
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:42,300
And I know it's against the rules.
I'm not your brother.

363
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:44,100
Seriously,
what's wrong with this guy?

364
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,740
You need to leave, and you should
sit back down. We're not finished.

365
00:13:46,740 --> 00:13:49,220
I just need one more swab from you.
Get out of my way, Ms Tudor-Fisk.

366
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:51,060
I've bloody had it with this guy.
I'm warning you, mate.

367
00:13:51,060 --> 00:13:53,740
Do you see?
We're like two peas in a pod.

368
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:57,660
The fiery temper runs in the family.
I'm not related to you!

369
00:13:57,660 --> 00:13:59,500
When will you get that
in your thick skull?!

370
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,100
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Don't touch him. Don't grab him!

371
00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:03,540
Does this look like
50 metres to you?

372
00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:06,380
Take a photo of this.
I want evidence for the cops.

373
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:09,340
Please, Helen, take a picture.
Hey, hey, George. Give me a hand.

374
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:11,020
Sorry, Helen.
I'm not really a fighter.

375
00:14:11,020 --> 00:14:12,820
No, Thomas.
No.

376
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:13,660
Thomas!
No!

377
00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:15,260
Helen, I'm so sorry.
No.

378
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:18,220
Brother, we need to talk! I want to
explain about the funeral debacle.

379
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,900
Uh, please come back later,
when the real staff are here.

380
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,580
We're just temp staff
who work at lunchtime.

381
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:26,700
What was that?

382
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,500
Just covering us in case
that was the mystery shopper.

383
00:14:29,620 --> 00:14:31,300
(EXHALES)

384
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:31,540
Welcome, sir.
(EXHALES)

385
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:33,380
Welcome, sir.
May I offer you a goodie bag?

386
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:37,100
Stand down, George. He's not
the mystery shopper. I guarantee it.

387
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,700
Hey, Blayden.
BLAYDEN: Hey.

388
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:43,420
You're stretching? Heels and glutes
into the floor. Push it down.

389
00:14:43,420 --> 00:14:46,380
BLAYDEN: Your dad said you needed
to bring in some new business.

390
00:14:46,380 --> 00:14:49,180
So I'm here to get my will done.
Oh. Good on Dad. OK.

391
00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:49,420
So I'm here to get my will done.
Well, it's a $500 flat fee...

392
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,020
Well, it's a $500 flat fee...

393
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,500
500 bucks?!
..for that, yep.

394
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,980
Jesus! Are you serious?
Yeah.

395
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,780
That's what one of
my signature Vibratrons cost.

396
00:14:56,780 --> 00:14:59,180
How can a piece of paper
be worth the same

397
00:14:59,180 --> 00:15:01,260
as a high-end piece
of wellness apparatus?

398
00:15:01,260 --> 00:15:03,820
Uh, it's fairly standard.
(GROANS)

399
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,340
In fact, it's pretty cheap.
Yeah. All good. (GROANS)

400
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,220
Sorry. I think I just need a snack.

401
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:08,460
I worked out pretty hard today.
Sorry. I think I just need a snack.

402
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,100
I worked out pretty hard today.
Mm-hm.

403
00:15:10,100 --> 00:15:12,700
You don't have a can of tuna on you?
Uh, no.

404
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,620
I don't usually carry a...
Salmon.

405
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:16,620
No.
Some almonds? A protein ball?

406
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,780
I might...I might have a lozenge.
Would that be...?

407
00:15:18,780 --> 00:15:21,260
A protein lozenge?
No, I don't think that's a thing.

408
00:15:21,260 --> 00:15:21,500
A protein lozenge?
Uh...oh! Ooh, ooh! Hey.

409
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:23,380
Uh...oh! Ooh, ooh! Hey.

410
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:24,860
Hey!
Look what I've got.

411
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:27,420
Blayden Blast. There you go.
Blayden Blast. Hey.

412
00:15:31,140 --> 00:15:32,700
Uh, uh, uh, mmm.

413
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:34,340
(SWISHES WATER)

414
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,380
Ugh!

415
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:39,140
That is the equivalent
of three skinless chicken breasts

416
00:15:39,140 --> 00:15:39,380
That is the equivalent
and one egg white.

417
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:40,620
and one egg white.

418
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:40,860
Ooh. All the tasteless white bits.
and one egg white.

419
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:43,100
Ooh. All the tasteless white bits.
(SNAPS FINGERS)

420
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,220
Delicious.
Mm-hm.

421
00:15:44,220 --> 00:15:46,820
I always thought you put it
INTO the water.

422
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:55,620
Alright. So the suit's been altered.
Now just got to add some jazz.

423
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:57,860
The awards are tonight, so...

424
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:01,340
..I do still need to find something
to wear today.

425
00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:01,580
..I do still need to find something
May! Have you seen my grey pants?

426
00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:04,580
May! Have you seen my grey pants?

427
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:15,220
Hey, Webmaster.
Hey, you look nice.

428
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:16,820
Thank you.
Bit late, though, don't you reckon?

429
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:19,020
Oh, mate,
after yesterday, we're fucked.

430
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:19,260
Oh, mate,
That's our new slogan, is it?

431
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:20,940
That's our new slogan, is it?

432
00:16:20,940 --> 00:16:21,180
"Welcome to Gruber & Associates.
That's our new slogan, is it?

433
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,500
"Welcome to Gruber & Associates.
We're fucked."

434
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,780
I mean, what if I'd been
the mystery judge?

435
00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:28,980
How did she even hear that?
Is she bionic?

436
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:30,620
ROZ: Heard that!
Oh.

437
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:30,860
ROZ: Heard that!
Come on!

438
00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:33,140
Come on!

439
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:43,540
Mmm.

440
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,300
Alrighty, Phil, that's for you.

441
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,820
Repaired it.
You'll never even notice.

442
00:16:47,820 --> 00:16:50,940
In case you do, just to show
no hard feelings, that's for you too.

443
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:53,460
Now, while I'm dealing things out,
let's get you signing.

444
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,620
Okey-doke. There we go.
That's a lot of paperwork!

445
00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,460
Well, you had
a lot of instructions, Phil.

446
00:16:58,460 --> 00:17:01,340
What's all this going to cost?
It must have taken hours!

447
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:03,860
Told you, flat fee.
Do you mind if I read it?

448
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:06,660
Yeah, be illegal if you didn't, but
do you mind if I stand up for a bit?

449
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:11,140
'Cause...oi...I'm wearing old pants
and they are tight.

450
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:13,660
Oh, did you include
the potato masher?

451
00:17:13,660 --> 00:17:15,020
Check the index.

452
00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:17,780
I added one at the back, in case
you need to cross-check or reference.

453
00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:18,020
I added one at the back, in case
I'm just gonna...sit here.

454
00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:20,020
I'm just gonna...sit here.

455
00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:22,220
Oh! How are YOUR pants, Phil?

456
00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:23,820
That's better.
Oh, I wear mine quite loose.

457
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:26,420
I...I like sitting.
I...I like to be comfortable.

458
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:30,060
Yep. I hear you. These used to
fit me, before the divorce.

459
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:33,180
Mmm?
Before I started eating my feelings.

460
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:34,380
Hm.
You know how it is.

461
00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:34,620
Hm.
Hm.

462
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:35,540
Hm.

463
00:17:35,540 --> 00:17:36,980
(SIGHS)

464
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:40,980
Ooh! My hibachi's here.

465
00:17:40,980 --> 00:17:43,420
Delivery for Fisk. Your name?
Ray.

466
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:43,660
Delivery for Fisk. Your name?
Ray Gruber.

467
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:46,180
Ray Gruber.

468
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:48,220
(DOOR BANGS)

469
00:17:48,220 --> 00:17:52,140
"Services rendered"?
What's that about?

470
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:52,380
"Services rendered"?
(MACHINE VIBRATES)

471
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,220
(MACHINE VIBRATES)

472
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:59,140
Nah, I don't like it.
It's rattling my skeleton.

473
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,380
Here, let me have a go.
You bringing anyone to the awards?

474
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:04,260
Yeah. My grandma.
She loves to dress up.

475
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,420
You wait till you see
what I'M wearing.

476
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:10,420
Oh, Roz, Roz! Come and have a go
on the Team Gruber Vibratron. Whoo!

477
00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:12,460
Yes, I heard about
your dodgy contra deal.

478
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,980
You do realise we can get fined
for that sort of thing,

479
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:16,380
taking payments under the table?

480
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,180
No, it's fine. It's worth 500 bucks.

481
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:18,420
So I'm gonna pay for it
No, it's fine. It's worth 500 bucks.

482
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,820
So I'm gonna pay for it
then gift it to the office.

483
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:23,540
It does feel weird, but then you get
used to it and it's quite, like...

484
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:23,780
It does feel weird, but then you get
(MAKES VIBRATING NOISE)

485
00:18:23,780 --> 00:18:25,260
(MAKES VIBRATING NOISE)

486
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:27,740
What did I say?
What?

487
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:27,980
What did I say?
I said best behaviour from everyone.

488
00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,220
I said best behaviour from everyone.

489
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:31,540
I asked you to dress nicely

490
00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:33,620
and then you turn up in fancy dress
as an air hostess.

491
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:37,140
What about today? I look really nice!
Too little, too late.

492
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,820
Apparently, there was a fistfight
in reception the other day?

493
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:40,060
Apparently, there was a fistfight
You don't know...who told you...

494
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:41,300
You don't know...who told you...

495
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:41,540
Oh!
You don't know...who told you...

496
00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:42,780
Oh!
That wasn't my fault.

497
00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:43,020
Oh!
Fisticuffs! My God, Helen.

498
00:18:43,020 --> 00:18:45,260
Fisticuffs! My God, Helen.

499
00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:46,740
And then there was
the salty language

500
00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,700
and the rolling around on the floor
in front of a client.

501
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:48,940
and the rolling around on the floor
Well, these pants are really tight.

502
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,460
Well, these pants are really tight.

503
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:50,700
I said to Raymond from the start
Well, these pants are really tight.

504
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:52,940
I said to Raymond from the start
you were not a good fit,

505
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,700
and if we lose this award
because of you,

506
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,180
I'm going to take
this stupid vibrator...

507
00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,900
Excuse me, Roz.
..and I'm going to stick it where...

508
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,860
A courier dropped off
this big body bag thing for you.

509
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,460
Thank you, George.

510
00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:08,140
It's not a vibrator.
It's a Vibratron.

511
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:08,380
It's not a vibrator.
ROZ: I heard that.

512
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,660
ROZ: I heard that.

513
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,220
Hello, Dad.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

514
00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,460
Um, Helen?

515
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,620
(LAUGHTER)

516
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:16,580
MAN: Can I get a photo of you three?

517
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,460
Who's the old woman?
That's Dad's husband.

518
00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:23,260
That's Viktor.
No. The lady in the leopard print.

519
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,700
Oh, that's George's grandmother.
Oh!

520
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:28,260
So 'pansexual' doesn't mean
dating old people.

521
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:28,500
So 'pansexual' doesn't mean
No. Why would it mean... No!

522
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:30,380
No. Why would it mean... No!

523
00:20:30,380 --> 00:20:31,860
What?
Pan?

524
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:32,100
What?
Pandora? Wasn't she some old woman?

525
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,140
Pandora? Wasn't she some old woman?

526
00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:35,980
Oh.
Oh, hello.

527
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,540
Oh, what have YOU done, Roz?
(LAUGHS)

528
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:37,780
Oh, what have YOU done, Roz?
This is magical!

529
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:39,180
This is magical!

530
00:20:39,180 --> 00:20:41,380
Absolutely wonderful.
Thank you.

531
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:42,940
Well done.
Thank you very much.

532
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:45,460
Ah, and I see you've come
in fancy dress again, Helen.

533
00:20:45,460 --> 00:20:46,980
No, this is my brown suit!

534
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,620
I did what you said. I jazzed it up.
I had it altered.

535
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:49,860
I did what you said. I jazzed it up.
Look at me now.

536
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:51,100
Look at me now.

537
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:54,740
I don't recall saying turn your suit
into a mariachi band costume.

538
00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:57,260
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)
Oh, it's starting. It's starting.

539
00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:58,900
You're sitting over there, Roz.
Where?

540
00:20:58,900 --> 00:20:59,140
You're sitting over there, Roz.
You're not near me.

541
00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:01,180
You're not near me.

542
00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:02,540
That's my dad, Roz.

543
00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:03,940
Oh!
That's my dad.

544
00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:04,180
Oh!
Justice Fisk!

545
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,340
Justice Fisk!

546
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,500
Justice Fisk,
what a delight to see you!

547
00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:11,980
Champagne?

548
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,740
MAN: Please welcome your master
of ceremonies, Mr Glenn Ridge!

549
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:16,140
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

550
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:18,300
Thank you very much.
That's very kind of you.

551
00:21:20,300 --> 00:21:23,020
Uh, Mr Mayor, distinguished guests,

552
00:21:23,020 --> 00:21:26,060
ladies and gentlemen
and friends beyond the binary,

553
00:21:26,060 --> 00:21:27,740
I'm Glenn Ridge, and
it's certainly great to be with you

554
00:21:27,740 --> 00:21:30,820
as we're coming to you
from the elegant La Mirage ballroom.

555
00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:35,380
I think you'll agree... Yes.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

556
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,220
I think you'll agree it's one of
the most versatile function rooms

557
00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:38,460
I think you'll agree it's one of
in outer Melbourne.

558
00:21:38,460 --> 00:21:39,980
in outer Melbourne.

559
00:21:39,980 --> 00:21:41,260
There's no doubt about that.

560
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:44,660
But first the award
for the best wok-based takeaway.

561
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:44,900
But first the award
And the nominees are...

562
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:46,780
And the nominees are...

563
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,660
..My, My, That's Good Stir-Fry...

564
00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:51,500
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

565
00:21:53,660 --> 00:21:57,380
Congratulations to all the team
at Rock Your Locks Off hair studio.

566
00:21:57,380 --> 00:21:59,260
A very popular win,
especially with the, uh, seniors,

567
00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:04,460
and I do know that they do love the
Pension Tuesday $60 cut and colour.

568
00:22:04,460 --> 00:22:04,700
and I do know that they do love the
So well done, Antoinette.

569
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:05,940
So well done, Antoinette.

570
00:22:05,940 --> 00:22:06,180
Now, moving on
So well done, Antoinette.

571
00:22:06,180 --> 00:22:07,540
Now, moving on
to one of the big awards,

572
00:22:07,540 --> 00:22:10,140
which is
the Professional Services Award,

573
00:22:10,140 --> 00:22:12,660
and, uh, to present this award,
I'm going to hand it over

574
00:22:12,660 --> 00:22:15,180
to one of
our anonymous judging panel,

575
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:18,100
a man who's going to become
anonymous no more.

576
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:21,220
Ladies and gentlemen,
would you please welcome Phil Deacon?

577
00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:21,460
Ladies and gentlemen,
(APPLAUSE)

578
00:22:21,460 --> 00:22:23,900
(APPLAUSE)

579
00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:28,540
Helen, look who it is!

580
00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:30,620
HELEN: I see it, George. Shoosh.

581
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:32,540
That's it. We're out.

582
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:34,420
It's the guy whose book you ripped,
remember?

583
00:22:34,420 --> 00:22:36,300
It might be. It might not be.
I haven't got my glasses.

584
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:36,540
It might be. It might not be.
We can't tell from this distance.

585
00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:37,780
We can't tell from this distance.

586
00:22:37,780 --> 00:22:40,180
It is.
Just...just shoosh. Just shoosh.

587
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:43,060
Myself and the other judges
have spent the past four weeks

588
00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:43,300
Myself and the other judges
visiting the 28 businesses

589
00:22:43,300 --> 00:22:44,820
visiting the 28 businesses

590
00:22:44,820 --> 00:22:47,420
that nominated themselves
for this award.

591
00:22:47,420 --> 00:22:49,100
Helen.
Shh.

592
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:52,540
Hang on, Dad. This is our category.
Y-y-yes. Of course.

593
00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:54,820
I might have to leave.
No, no, no. You can't go.

594
00:22:54,820 --> 00:22:56,700
'Cause if we lose,
they're gonna fire me.

595
00:22:56,700 --> 00:22:56,940
'Cause if we lose,
I need you here. I need you here.

596
00:22:56,940 --> 00:22:58,180
I need you here. I need you here.

597
00:22:58,180 --> 00:22:58,420
Alright. I'll stay a bit longer.
Just stay. OK.
I need you here. I need you here.

598
00:22:58,420 --> 00:22:59,860
Alright. I'll stay a bit longer.
Just stay. OK.

599
00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:00,100
Thanks, Dad. Just sit down.
Just stay. OK.

600
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:01,340
Thanks, Dad. Just sit down.

601
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:01,580
Thanks, Dad. Just sit down.
Yes. Good idea.

602
00:23:01,580 --> 00:23:03,580
Stop being weird.
Yes. Good idea.

603
00:23:03,580 --> 00:23:03,860
Stop being weird.
Yes. Good idea.
Uh, the winner of the
Professional Services Award is...

604
00:23:03,860 --> 00:23:07,140
Uh, the winner of the
Professional Services Award is...

605
00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:07,420
Don't make a fuss, Hels, but
I think I'm having a heart attack.
Uh, the winner of the
Professional Services Award is...

606
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:11,260
Don't make a fuss, Hels, but
I think I'm having a heart attack.

607
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:11,500
Don't make a fuss, Hels, but
I think I'm having a heart attack.
..Pike Probate Services.

608
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:12,740
..Pike Probate Services.

609
00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:12,980
..Pike Probate Services.
Oh, God. Jesus! No, no, Dad!
Dad, Dad, Dad!

610
00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:14,820
Oh, God. Jesus! No, no, Dad!
Dad, Dad, Dad!

611
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:16,220
PHIL: And collecting the award...

612
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:17,540
Oh, God!
..Alice Pike.

613
00:23:17,540 --> 00:23:20,100
Tony!
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

614
00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:25,860
Helen!
Yep, yep. I'm here, Dad. Yep.

615
00:23:25,860 --> 00:23:29,580
I cherish you, Helen.
(SNIFFS) Oh. I cherish you too, Dad.

616
00:23:29,580 --> 00:23:31,860
Yeah, we all cherish you.
You are cherished, my love.

617
00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:34,660
I cherish you most of all.
It's not a competition, Viktor.

618
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:34,900
I cherish you most of all.
You're over-cherishing him.

619
00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:36,740
You're over-cherishing him.

620
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:40,420
(BELL DINGS)

621
00:23:44,260 --> 00:23:47,820
Oh, what a night!
It really was, wasn't it?

622
00:23:47,820 --> 00:23:48,060
Oh, what a night!
All the stars were out last night.

623
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:49,300
All the stars were out last night.

624
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:50,540
Fisk!
Morning.

625
00:23:50,540 --> 00:23:53,060
(GASPS) How's Dad?
Oh, better.

626
00:23:53,060 --> 00:23:55,300
Out of intensive care,
so that's good. Yep.

627
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:56,820
Thoughts and prayers.
Thank you, Roz.

628
00:23:56,820 --> 00:23:59,140
That's very comforting.
Did we send a goodie bag, Roz?

629
00:23:59,140 --> 00:24:00,620
Mm-hm.
Yeah, yeah.

630
00:24:00,620 --> 00:24:03,420
He loved the squishy gavel.
Got a photo.

631
00:24:03,420 --> 00:24:04,900
There we go.
Oh, that's funny.

632
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:05,140
There we go.
And the hat. Loving it.

633
00:24:05,140 --> 00:24:06,580
And the hat. Loving it.

634
00:24:06,580 --> 00:24:09,740
Hey, Roz, I thought about
what you said, and you're right.

635
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:09,980
Hey, Roz, I thought about
I don't think I'm a good fit here.

636
00:24:09,980 --> 00:24:12,220
I don't think I'm a good fit here.

637
00:24:12,220 --> 00:24:15,260
I know how angry you guys must have
been losing to Alice Pike last night.

638
00:24:15,260 --> 00:24:17,500
Oh, not as angry as Alice Pike was
when she woke up this morning

639
00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:19,500
and saw the front cover
of The Copeland Advocate.

640
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:22,420
Have a look at that.
HELEN: Ethical Business Person? What?

641
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:22,660
Have a look at that.
I accepted on your behalf.

642
00:24:22,660 --> 00:24:24,660
I accepted on your behalf.

643
00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:26,380
Why?

644
00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:28,420
Because you weren't there.

645
00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:31,580
Your father had a heart attack,
remember?

646
00:24:31,580 --> 00:24:31,820
Your father had a heart attack,
Why did I win it?

647
00:24:31,820 --> 00:24:33,060
Why did I win it?

648
00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:36,620
Mystery judge Phil said you were a
rare fish in a world full of sharks.

649
00:24:36,620 --> 00:24:40,300
He said you didn't take advantage
of a potentially vulnerable client.

650
00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:43,060
He cited your attention to detail
and, if you can believe it,

651
00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:45,380
your unique ability
to relate to people.

652
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,500
We did have a very good chat
about pants.

653
00:24:48,460 --> 00:24:51,260
Ta-da!
George! You got me a fruitcake!

654
00:24:51,260 --> 00:24:51,540
Ta-da!
George! You got me a fruitcake!
Yep. Old lady cake, just for you,
Helen. Congratulations.

655
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:54,180
Yep. Old lady cake, just for you,
Helen. Congratulations.

656
00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:54,460
Yep. Old lady cake, just for you,
Oh, George,
I was really looking forward

657
00:24:54,460 --> 00:24:55,780
Oh, George,
I was really looking forward

658
00:24:55,780 --> 00:24:56,020
Oh, George,
to that gorgeous mud cake.

659
00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:57,260
to that gorgeous mud cake.

660
00:24:57,260 --> 00:24:57,500
Are you kidding? That's not cake.
to that gorgeous mud cake.

661
00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:59,740
Are you kidding? That's not cake.
ROZ: No.

662
00:24:59,740 --> 00:25:01,780
Alright. Everybody out.
Celebration's over.

663
00:25:01,780 --> 00:25:02,060
OK. I'll take the cake,
but do I still have a job here?
Alright. Everybody out.
Celebration's over.

664
00:25:02,060 --> 00:25:04,900
OK. I'll take the cake,
but do I still have a job here?

665
00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:06,100
Well, you did
until you ruined my day.

666
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:06,380
Well, you did
until you ruined my day.
I was really looking forward
to the mud cake.

667
00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:07,780
I was really looking forward
to the mud cake.

668
00:25:07,780 --> 00:25:10,540
(LAUGHS) OK, it's good jokes,
but do I still have...

669
00:25:10,540 --> 00:25:13,500
Get out, and take your
stupid block of raisins with you.

670
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:13,740
Get out, and take your
OK.

671
00:25:13,740 --> 00:25:15,180
OK.

672
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:15,420
Straight to Facebook.
OK.

673
00:25:15,420 --> 00:25:18,300
Straight to Facebook.
Oh, you did it yourself.

674
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,940
HELEN: Would love to know
if I have a job or not.

675
00:25:19,940 --> 00:25:20,180
HELEN: Would love to know
ROZ: You still have a job, Helen!

676
00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,020
ROZ: You still have a job, Helen!

677
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,820
HELEN: OK. Mm-hm.

678
00:25:27,220 --> 00:25:28,620
Here we go.

679
00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:30,140
I'm so excited.

680
00:25:30,140 --> 00:25:32,260
Fingers crossed, eh, Helen?
Yeah.

681
00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:35,140
Oh.

682
00:25:35,140 --> 00:25:36,980
Petro, I'm sorry.

683
00:25:36,980 --> 00:25:39,500
Georgios Papadakis
is not your father.

684
00:25:40,780 --> 00:25:42,420
Is he my half-father?

685
00:25:44,020 --> 00:25:45,500
That's not a thing.

686
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,660
Cousin?
No.

687
00:25:46,660 --> 00:25:50,380
Petro, you're not related
to the Papadakis family at all.

688
00:25:50,380 --> 00:25:53,500
But I really love those guys.
Yeah, I know.

689
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:57,340
And you can still love them.
Just do it from 50 metres away.

690
00:25:59,580 --> 00:26:03,420
Just do it from 150 metres away.

691
00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:05,500
OK?

692
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,500
Do you want those?

693
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,180
Mmm.

694
00:26:09,180 --> 00:26:10,620
I have a scrapbook.

695
00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:19,660
(MACHINE VIBRATES)

696
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:03,900
(BEEPING)
Oh.

697
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:05,860
Roz?

698
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:08,580
Roz, I can't turn it off.
(BEEPING)

699
00:27:08,580 --> 00:27:08,820
(VIBRATION INTENSIFIES)
Roz, I can't turn it off.
(BEEPING)

700
00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:09,980
(VIBRATION INTENSIFIES)

701
00:27:09,980 --> 00:27:11,100
Captions by Red Bee Media

702
00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:13,300
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation