1 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:08,940 OK. Can you get off? Good boy. 2 00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:11,420 MAY: Oh, Helen? We're hosting book club tonight. 3 00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:12,900 Do you want to join us? 4 00:00:12,900 --> 00:00:15,620 Same room, people. Can't hear you unless you're in the same room. 5 00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:15,860 Same room, people. Can't hear you Can't hear ya, May! 6 00:00:15,860 --> 00:00:17,340 Can't hear ya, May! 7 00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:17,580 We are hosting book club tonight. Can't hear ya, May! 8 00:00:17,580 --> 00:00:21,860 We are hosting book club tonight. Would you like to join us? 9 00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,740 We're doing Three Women. Uh... 10 00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:23,980 We're doing Three Women. Doing three women! 11 00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:25,860 Doing three women! 12 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,460 Why is that funny? 13 00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:31,020 Doing. What? 14 00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:32,740 It's not funny, but what he's saying is, like, 15 00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:32,980 It's not funny, that you're...doing three women. 16 00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,500 that you're...doing three women. 17 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:35,580 Yeah. 18 00:00:35,580 --> 00:00:37,780 Yeah, but he's saying it as, like... 19 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:39,340 ..DOING doing, 20 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:43,260 not...not doing, but, you know, doing. 21 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:43,500 You know, you're...doing. not...not doing, but, you know, doing. 22 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,220 You know, you're...doing. 23 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,340 Oh! Doing. 24 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:47,580 Oh! Doing. Intercourse. 25 00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,220 Intercourse. 26 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:50,220 Mmm. 27 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:06,380 Helen? This is Terry Montanello. 28 00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:08,420 Said he's here to see Roz, but she's not in. 29 00:01:08,420 --> 00:01:10,820 That's OK. Terry. Come in. Thanks, George. 30 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:14,020 I'm Helen. I'm the new Roz. Sit down. Go. Talk. 31 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:16,540 What do you need? What can I do for you? Somebody died? What's happened? 32 00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,780 Well, my great-aunt, Maria, she passed away. 33 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,780 And I was... Yep. That's very sad. 34 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,020 I'm sorry, have you really replaced Roz? 35 00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:26,020 Yeah. I'm the new Roz. Hello, Terry. Sorry I'm late. 36 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,860 Thank you, Helen. I'll take it from here. 37 00:01:27,860 --> 00:01:30,980 Off you pop. Helen says she's your replacement. 38 00:01:30,980 --> 00:01:31,220 Off you pop. Oh, God, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 39 00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:33,860 Oh, God, no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. 40 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,060 No. Well, that's a relief. 41 00:01:36,060 --> 00:01:37,020 (ROZ LAUGHS) Is it? 42 00:01:37,020 --> 00:01:39,580 N-no offence. Sorry. Alright. Well, point of order, Terry. 43 00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:39,820 N-no offence. Sorry. Just because you say "No offence," 44 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,060 Just because you say "No offence," 45 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,900 it doesn't render the offensive thing you just said not offensive. 46 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,580 Helen, why don't you go and work on bringing in some new business? 47 00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,540 You're not required here. That's offensive. 48 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:51,620 Now, let's get to know your Aunt Maria. In the will... 49 00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:54,260 You should know, Terry, that Roz can't work as a solicitor anymore. 50 00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,260 She was struck off. Oh, I'm sorry, suspended. 51 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,500 Out! Just so you know. 52 00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,740 Sorry. 53 00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:02,340 (LAUGHS) (GASPS) That's an excellent choice. 54 00:02:02,340 --> 00:02:05,460 Ray, can I ask a couple of questions about this case you don't want to do? 55 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:09,140 Yeah. Make it quick. I got to get to court for the listing. 56 00:02:09,140 --> 00:02:10,980 No, it's Monday. So? 57 00:02:10,980 --> 00:02:12,780 Well, listings are on Tuesday. What are you, the boss of court? 58 00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:14,100 Hurry up. What do you need? OK. 59 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,020 No time for sitting, buddy. So I read the file. 60 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:18,500 Uh-huh. It says the brother gets the farm. 61 00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,540 The sister gets the family Bible. Seriously? 62 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,500 Yeah, but apparently very nice Bible. 63 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:23,740 Yeah, It's got Jesus and prayers in it. 64 00:02:23,740 --> 00:02:25,100 It's got Jesus and prayers in it. 65 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:26,660 There's a burning bush 66 00:02:26,660 --> 00:02:28,700 and some begetting and begatting, that kind of stuff. 67 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:28,940 and some begetting and begatting, Wow. You're really selling it. 68 00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,180 Wow. You're really selling it. 69 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:30,420 But we're representing the brother, Wow. You're really selling it. 70 00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:32,780 But we're representing the brother, who drives a party bus. 71 00:02:32,780 --> 00:02:34,140 Is that right? Yeah. And? 72 00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:37,460 I don't get it. It says the sister worked the farm her whole life. 73 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:37,700 I don't get it. It says the sister Why was she left out? 74 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:38,940 Why was she left out? 75 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:41,420 Dad was old-school and believed that...ohh... 76 00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:42,940 ..property should be handed down the male line, 77 00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:43,180 ..property should be which would never stand up in court. 78 00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,140 which would never stand up in court. 79 00:02:45,140 --> 00:02:48,100 I propose we get on the front foot and suggest 50/50 split. 80 00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:50,620 OK. Well, that's easy. Not really. 81 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:52,940 Alice Pike is representing the sister, 82 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,180 and she'll be gunning for a lot more than half. 83 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,220 So? I'll just tell her, "The deal's 50/50. You take it or leave it." 84 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:00,140 (LAUGHS) I'm loving your confidence, Fisk. 85 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:02,660 I almost wish I could stick around and watch the car crash. 86 00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:05,820 But I can't. 'Cause I got to go. To the imaginary listings? 87 00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,060 Yep. Good get from you. 88 00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:10,180 Let's see how funny you are after half an hour with Alice Pike. 89 00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,980 What does that... Ray, what does that mean? 90 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:15,140 What do you...what...? Good luck, Fisk! 91 00:03:15,140 --> 00:03:15,380 What do you...what...? (DOOR OPENS) 92 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:16,820 (DOOR OPENS) 93 00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,660 Raymond. Pike. 94 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:21,900 Raymond. We're supposed to have a meeting! 95 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:23,140 We're supposed to have a meeting! 96 00:03:23,140 --> 00:03:25,220 I handed that over to my colleague, Helen Tudor. 97 00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,780 George, if you could help out Alice, that'd be wonderful. 98 00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:29,540 Hello. Can I help you? (DEVICE BUZZES) 99 00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:29,780 Hello. Can I help you? Hello. Alice Pike. 100 00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:31,020 Hello. Alice Pike. 101 00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,580 Yes, four o'clock on the 15th. 102 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,860 Send me an iCal invite. Let them know I have a hard stop at 4:20. 103 00:03:35,860 --> 00:03:38,300 Alice Pike. I was supposed to see Raymond. 104 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,540 I believe it's now Helen Tudor. 105 00:03:40,540 --> 00:03:41,980 Fisk. What? 106 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:45,220 Uh...uh, Tudor-Fisk. I'm sorry, do you speak English? 107 00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:46,980 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 108 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,940 Yes, talk to me. Quickly, please. GEORGE: Uh... 109 00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:50,540 And the meeting is taking place where? 110 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:53,060 I think it's either, um, Helen's office or the meeting room. 111 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,780 I'll check. Got it. Text me to confirm. 112 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:56,260 Thank you. OK, no worries. 113 00:03:56,260 --> 00:03:58,660 This way? Yeah, just to the left. 114 00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,940 Did you still want me to text you to confirm or... 115 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:03,460 I'll send it to this number on the card. 116 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:07,940 Helen Tudor, Alice Pike. 117 00:04:07,940 --> 00:04:09,140 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. 118 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:10,940 Hello. Alice Pike. Erm... 119 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:11,180 Hello. Alice Pike. Hello. Helen Tudor-Fisk. 120 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,740 Hello. Helen Tudor-Fisk. 121 00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,860 Yes. Go ahead. I'm listening. Right. 122 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:17,420 Well, I'm taking over Hopkins vs Hopkins, so... 123 00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,980 Yes, that's right. Thank you. ..I will be... 124 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:22,020 I'm sorry. You're on the phone. No, I'm done. Helen, is it? 125 00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:25,020 Look, I've got a hard stop at 3:30, so let's get this done, shall we? 126 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:28,140 I propose a 75/25 split. OK. 127 00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:33,100 Are we talking 75/25 or 25/75, if you know what I mean? 128 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,460 I don't. (DEVICE BUZZES) 129 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,740 Hello. Alice Pike. No, I'll be back in the office this afternoon. 130 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:36,980 Hello. Alice Pike. No, I'll be 75/25. Do we have a deal? 131 00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,860 75/25. Do we have a deal? 132 00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:40,700 If it's 75/25, yes, we do. 133 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:42,900 You're starting to irritate me, Helen. 134 00:04:42,900 --> 00:04:45,140 Right back at you, "Hello. Alice Pike." 135 00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:46,380 Listen to me. 136 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:48,220 75/25. 137 00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:50,700 No, you listen to me, because I'm the offerer, 138 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,580 so I say what the offer is, and I've just decided, oh, guess what, 139 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:53,820 so I say what the offer is, and it's 90/10, to me, to my client. 140 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:56,100 it's 90/10, to me, to my client. 141 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:56,340 We both know it's 90/10, to me, to my client. 142 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,580 We both know that won't hold up in court. 143 00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:00,700 Do we know that? Do you want to find out? 144 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,500 I do not, sir. 80/20. Try again. 145 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:05,540 70/30. Stop wasting my time. 146 00:05:05,540 --> 00:05:08,820 Best offer on the table right now or I'll see you in court. 147 00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:10,100 OK. 148 00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:12,300 S... Don't you dare say 60/40. 149 00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:14,540 I wasn't going to. You don't know what I'm gonna say. 150 00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:19,300 It was gonna be, "So, offer, 50/50." Thank you. 151 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:23,180 Now we have a starting point. I'll take that to my client. 152 00:05:23,180 --> 00:05:25,420 Well...it's not a starting point, it's a finishing point, 153 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:26,980 and you can take it or leave it. 154 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,460 What's that, now? Erm, on the phone, please. 155 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:29,700 What's that, now? Hello. Alice... Uh, it's Helen. 156 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,940 Hello. Alice... Uh, it's Helen. 157 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,940 Go away. I'm busy. Hard stopping. 158 00:05:34,940 --> 00:05:36,380 Yep. OK. 159 00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,060 ROZ: Call them today. 160 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:40,100 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 161 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:40,340 (DEVICE BUZZES) Just a moment. 162 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,580 Just a moment. 163 00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:45,620 Well, well. Roz Gruber. 164 00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,140 I'll call you back. 165 00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:50,020 I'm very surprised to see YOU working here. 166 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,700 I'm the office manager, nothing more. 167 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:54,460 She doesn't work as a solicitor anymore. She's been suspended. 168 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,620 Oh, she knows. Oh, I know. 169 00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:58,900 George, this is the infamous Alice Pike. 170 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,420 Alice is the one who persuaded two of my clients 171 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:03,300 to make the complaints that got me suspended. 172 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,140 (DEVICE BUZZES) Hello. Alice Pike. 173 00:06:05,140 --> 00:06:05,380 (DEVICE BUZZES) Yes. This is she. 174 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,020 Yes. This is she. 175 00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:09,500 It's fine. I'm not with anyone important. 176 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,300 Go ahead. I'm listening. 177 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,180 "This is she." I mean, who says that? 178 00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:15,660 (DOOR CLOSES) She's full of it. 179 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,740 Like, I don't think there's even anyone calling her. 180 00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:21,140 You have got to be kidding me. No, I'm serious. She's faking it. 181 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:21,380 You have got to be kidding me. Ray? 182 00:06:21,380 --> 00:06:22,940 Ray? 183 00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:24,580 Did you know Pike was here? 184 00:06:24,580 --> 00:06:26,500 Why do you think I went and sat in the car for an hour? 185 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:30,140 Apparently she wants to specialise in wills and probate! 186 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,740 Come on! That's my thing! I'm sorry? 187 00:06:31,740 --> 00:06:34,020 That's your thing. You saw the gap in the market years ago. 188 00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:34,260 That's your thing. You saw Well done, Roz. 189 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:35,500 Well done, Roz. 190 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,420 We need to get more aggressive about new business, 191 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:37,660 We need to get more aggressive keep her out of the market. 192 00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,100 keep her out of the market. 193 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,500 Wow. You were right about Alice Pike. 194 00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,540 Hello, Roz. ROZ: Helen! 195 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:43,780 Hello, Roz. How's your client list going? 196 00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:45,020 How's your client list going? 197 00:06:45,020 --> 00:06:46,980 We need some more business and lots of it. 198 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:47,220 We need some more business Uh, I took a walk-in yesterday. 199 00:06:47,220 --> 00:06:48,860 Uh, I took a walk-in yesterday. 200 00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:49,100 Well done, Helen. Uh, I took a walk-in yesterday. 201 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,900 Well done, Helen. Thank you. 202 00:06:50,900 --> 00:06:54,780 Someone wandered in. I might go sit in the car again. 203 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:58,620 That is called passive recruitment. I think that might be my forte. 204 00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:01,140 You need to be more proactive, Helen. Tout for business. 205 00:07:01,140 --> 00:07:04,220 So, like, lurk at funeral homes and hand out business cards? 206 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,460 Excellent idea. Wasn't serious. 207 00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,540 Then get serious! Where's our client base? 208 00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:12,420 (SIGHS) Post office? Old people love the post office. 209 00:07:12,420 --> 00:07:12,660 (SIGHS) Post office? And Michel's Patisserie. 210 00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:14,260 And Michel's Patisserie. 211 00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:17,060 The movies, specifically talking through the movies. 212 00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,660 Church. You can always find them at church. 213 00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:18,900 Church. We don't want old people. 214 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:20,140 We don't want old people. 215 00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,740 We want middle-aged people squabbling over an inheritance. 216 00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:22,980 We want middle-aged people Got it. Squabblers. 217 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:25,020 Got it. Squabblers. 218 00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:29,220 Tout for squabblers. Be a squabbler touter. 219 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,180 I actually came to see Ray. 220 00:07:33,180 --> 00:07:35,260 W-where's Ray gone? 221 00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,580 (GASPS) 222 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:03,820 Careful, careful, careful - now, can you put Leslie 223 00:08:03,820 --> 00:08:05,740 in the chair where she likes it, please? 224 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,100 This way. 225 00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:22,100 My mother, you know, well, she grew up, obviously, Second World War. 226 00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:24,100 So, I mean... Helen! 227 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:27,260 Um, everyone, this is Helen. Come in. Come and join us. 228 00:08:27,260 --> 00:08:29,620 No, I'm good, May. I haven't read the book, so... 229 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:31,300 Oh, hang on. Snacks. I'm in. OK. 230 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:32,900 WOMAN: Hi, Helen. Hello. 231 00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,980 As I was saying, this first chapter really reminded me 232 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:36,220 As I was saying, this first chapter of my own mother's story. 233 00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,980 of my own mother's story. 234 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:40,860 Leslie's mum passed away recently. Oh, I see. 235 00:08:40,860 --> 00:08:45,500 Mum had an inner strength. Oh, she was a mother and a worker. 236 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,740 She had a part-time job in a cake shop. 237 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:51,340 Ooh. How delicious. She was a wife and a friend. 238 00:08:51,340 --> 00:08:51,580 Ooh. How delicious. She played canasta and tenpin bowls. 239 00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,900 She played canasta and tenpin bowls. 240 00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:57,740 She lived a very full life. 241 00:08:57,740 --> 00:09:00,180 I'd really love to tell HER story. 242 00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:01,700 Feel like you ARE. (LAUGHS) 243 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,700 The good thing is, I'm taking a creative writing course. 244 00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:04,940 The good thing is, I'm So... 245 00:09:04,940 --> 00:09:06,420 So... 246 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,740 Oh, good. 247 00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,220 LESLIE: Uh, anyway, as I was saying... 248 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,780 Is there any more wine? ..when a parent dies... 249 00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,460 Oh, God. I'm sorry, Leslie. You're still talking. 250 00:09:16,460 --> 00:09:16,700 Oh, God. I'm sorry, Leslie. ..it puts things in perspective. 251 00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,660 ..it puts things in perspective. 252 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:18,900 So what if you didn't get ..it puts things in perspective. 253 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:21,140 So what if you didn't get the best park at the supermarket? 254 00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:23,580 You know? So bloody what? 255 00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,700 Speaking of car parks, what about the chapter 256 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:25,940 Speaking of car parks, where they had sex in the car? 257 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,180 where they had sex in the car? 258 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:29,580 Not now, Graham. 259 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:29,820 LESLIE: Not now, Graham. 260 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,340 LESLIE: What's really hard at the moment 261 00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:34,860 is everyone squabbling over Mum's stuff. 262 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:37,180 Ooh! Squabbling? How are they squabbling there, Leslie? 263 00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:38,900 I don't want to sell her house. Mm-hm. 264 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:41,380 I mean, it's full of memories. Yep. What does the will say? 265 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,860 Are you the executor? Pardon? 266 00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:44,340 Well, you might not have to sell the house. 267 00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:45,780 Oh, Helen's a lawyer. Yeah. 268 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:47,340 I'm a wills and probate specialist, actually. 269 00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,180 WOMAN: Oh, can I have one of those, Helen? 270 00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:51,060 Oh, you bet. There you go. One for you. 271 00:09:51,060 --> 00:09:53,020 Oh, hello. Yep. Bringing in some new business. 272 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,540 There we go. Good stuff, all of you. Give me a call. 273 00:09:55,540 --> 00:10:00,100 Alright. If we can just circle back to the sex-in-the-car scenes. 274 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,340 Weren't they titillating? 275 00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:06,540 But also relevant. 276 00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,580 ROZ: I think we should shampoo the carpet. A dry shampoo. 277 00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:20,380 Yeah. 'Cause you can walk on that reasonably quick. 278 00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,180 Mmm. Good morning, Roz. 279 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:24,300 What's that? "Did you bring in any new business?" 280 00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:24,540 What's that? Ooh, I'm glad you asked. 281 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,300 Ooh, I'm glad you asked. 282 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:30,020 Two new clients, and I know where to find a whole lot more. 283 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:33,020 Do not say Michel's Patisserie, because they banned me 284 00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:35,300 the last time I was there handing out business cards. 285 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,420 It's a shame. They do such excellent coffee. 286 00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,580 Well, let's hear your idea, Helen. Two words. 287 00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:39,820 Well, let's hear your idea, Helen. Book club. 288 00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:42,100 Book club. 289 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,420 What's the second word? 290 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,740 Book clubs are full of middle-aged people, mostly women, 291 00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:47,980 Book clubs are full of dead or dying parents, 292 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,220 dead or dying parents, 293 00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:52,980 and they're all SQUABBLING over their inheritance. 294 00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:55,980 That's your business strategy, is it? 295 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,700 Walk up to complete strangers and ask, 296 00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,340 "Can I please come to your book club?" 297 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:04,540 Well, it sounded less stupid when I said it, but, essentially... 298 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:04,780 Well, it sounded less stupid ..yes. 299 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:07,020 ..yes. 300 00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:12,100 What about the vertical blinds? Hmm. There's no doubt they're tired. 301 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,700 (TYPES) 302 00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:33,060 (WHISPERS) Oh! Fisk! Pike's in reception. 303 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,540 You haven't seen me. What? Who's in reception? 304 00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:36,700 Oh! Hello, Alice Pike. Hello. Alice Pike. 305 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:36,940 Oh! Hello, Alice Pike. I just said that! 306 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:38,140 I just said that! 307 00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:41,420 Yes, that's all doable, but, obviously, with a hard stop at 3:30. 308 00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:44,380 OK? Alright, circling back to where we left off. 309 00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,420 The offer was deemed untenable. 310 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,100 Is this your new hardball act, Helen? 311 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:51,340 Is this Oh, how tedious. 312 00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:52,580 Oh, how tedious. 313 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,700 Oh, God, sorry. I thought you were still on the phone. 314 00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,420 It's very hard to know with you. My client will accept 60/40. 315 00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:59,940 And 60 goes to...? To my client. 316 00:11:59,940 --> 00:12:02,180 Well, then, I'm sorry, no deal. 317 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:05,060 The offer was 50/50 or I see you in court. 318 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,460 Done. Thank you. 319 00:12:06,460 --> 00:12:08,420 50/50? No. I'll see you in court. 320 00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:08,660 50/50? RAY: We're not going to court, Fisk. 321 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,580 RAY: We're not going to court, Fisk. 322 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:13,900 Where...are you in the cupboard? 323 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,420 It's more of a storeroom than a cupboard. 324 00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:19,260 ROZ: So there's a few ways we can go with this. 325 00:12:19,260 --> 00:12:22,740 And, obviously, it's your choice, Terry, but I will say... 326 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:24,780 (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (CAMERA CLICKS) 327 00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:25,020 (CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (CAMERA CONTINUES CLICKING) 328 00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:27,540 (CAMERA CONTINUES CLICKING) 329 00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:30,300 (DOOR OPENS) 330 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,500 (CAMERA CLICKS) 331 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,780 You want me to accept 60/40, 60 to them, 40 to us. (SIGHS) Why? 332 00:12:36,780 --> 00:12:39,020 Because if we go to court, we might end up with nothing. 333 00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:41,540 Oh, come on! Is Alice Pike really that good? 334 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:43,660 It's not about Pike. It's about OUR client. 335 00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:46,180 Have a look at this bloke. Have a look. 336 00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:48,300 This one? Mmm. 337 00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:50,980 Alright, Brandon, uh, we're going to film today's session 338 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:53,700 so that we can help you work on your presentation, so... 339 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:56,780 You don't...George, you don't need me in this, just Brandon. 340 00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:58,020 That's Brandon. RAY: (VIDEO) OK. 341 00:12:58,020 --> 00:13:00,540 So, the first thing the judge might ask is, 342 00:13:00,540 --> 00:13:03,140 "Mr Hopkins, what do you do for a living?" 343 00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:05,140 Uh-huh. And you would say? 344 00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:05,380 Uh-huh. Hi, Judge. Uh, yep. OK. 345 00:13:05,380 --> 00:13:07,260 Hi, Judge. Uh, yep. OK. 346 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:11,100 So, uh...I run me own business, which is a party bus, 347 00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:14,180 do a lot of hens' nights, a lot of bucks' nights, but... 348 00:13:14,180 --> 00:13:14,420 do a lot of hens' nights, ..anyone can book it. 349 00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:15,660 ..anyone can book it. 350 00:13:15,660 --> 00:13:17,260 Like, say, you and... you and your judge mates, 351 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:19,540 you want to go to the pub, I can come and pick youse all up, 352 00:13:19,540 --> 00:13:24,900 and the beauty is, you can drink on the way to drinking at the pub. 353 00:13:24,900 --> 00:13:26,540 How good is that? It gets better. 354 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:26,780 How good is that? The sound system is next-level. 355 00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,020 The sound system is next-level. 356 00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,100 It's so good, a lot of people don't want to get off. 357 00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:34,340 So we just drive around and everyone gets munted, on the bus! 358 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:38,300 Not me, obviously. I don't drink and drive, anymore. 359 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,540 Stop. Let's try again. RAY: (OFFICE) Mm-hm. 360 00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:43,220 This time, when I ask you what you do for a living, 361 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,420 stop talking after "I run me own business." 362 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:48,300 Yeah, but some people might not know what a party bus is. 363 00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,580 Which I think's for the best. (LAUGHS) 364 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,060 George? Hang on. 365 00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:56,180 Mate, put the camera back. We're gonna be here for a while. 366 00:13:56,180 --> 00:13:56,420 Mate, put the camera back. Are we? 'Ray'? 367 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,060 Are we? 'Ray'? 368 00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:00,780 Yeah, OK. Point made. 369 00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,540 I...I can show you more if you want to see... 370 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:04,540 Uh, no need. No need. You had me at 'munted'. 371 00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:04,780 Uh, no need. No need. 'Ray'. 372 00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:06,660 'Ray'. 373 00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:11,380 ROZ: Here we go. 374 00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,060 One, two, three, four. 375 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:16,580 (WOMEN HARMONISE) 376 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:21,260 # Ooh, I want to find a better place # Oh 377 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:21,500 # Ooh, I want to find a better place # Ooh, ooh 378 00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:24,740 # Ooh, ooh 379 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:28,540 # I'm searching for a better place 380 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,420 # Heaven # Heaven 381 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,740 # Must be there 382 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:35,220 # Well, it's there # Well, it's just got to be there 383 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:37,460 # I've never # Never, ever 384 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,700 # Ever seen Eden 385 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,100 # But ah, ah, ah 386 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:42,340 # I don't want to live # But ah, ah, ah 387 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:47,340 # I don't want to live in this place. # 388 00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:49,860 Excellent. Where's your note? Here it is. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 389 00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:52,340 WOMAN: # Mmm, ah 390 00:14:52,340 --> 00:14:53,780 # There it is, Bobbie, good # Thank you, Roz 391 00:14:53,780 --> 00:14:54,020 # There it is, Bobbie, good # Lovely, lovely from you 392 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,260 # Lovely, lovely from you 393 00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:55,500 # Rozalind, I think # Lovely, lovely from you 394 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,740 # Rozalind, I think the cleaner wants to see you. # 395 00:14:57,740 --> 00:15:00,780 The cleaner? What are you talking about? Oh, Helen. Hello! Come on in! 396 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:01,020 The cleaner? What are you talking Wow. You're in a good mood. 397 00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,300 Wow. You're in a good mood. 398 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,900 That is because we're singing. It's the endorphins. 399 00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:05,140 That is because we're singing. Oh, is that what it is? 400 00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,380 Oh, is that what it is? 401 00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:06,620 Everybody, this is Oh, is that what it is? 402 00:15:06,620 --> 00:15:09,140 Everybody, this is our new associate, Helen Tudor-Fisk. 403 00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:10,860 Hello. # Hello 404 00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:12,540 # Hello # Hello! 405 00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:12,780 # Hello (DEEPLY) # Hello! # 406 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:16,100 (DEEPLY) # Hello! # 407 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:17,860 (HARMONISING STOPS) (WOMAN HOLDS NOTE) 408 00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:21,060 (GASPS) That's Maggie. She's our drone. Don't you love it? 409 00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:21,300 (GASPS) That's Maggie. (HOLDS NOTE) 410 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:27,100 (HOLDS NOTE) 411 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,540 Very Gregorian. MAGGIE: Thank you. 412 00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:30,300 HELEN: Extraordinary. Have a drink! 413 00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:33,100 Yeah, sure. What are we celebrating? We're rehearsing for a funeral. 414 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:35,780 Oh, fun. We also do weddings. Grab a flyer. 415 00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:40,500 MAGGIE: Roz, don't forget. I'm gonna need a new top for Saturday. 416 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,540 That is noted. I'll get you a maternity skivvy. 417 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:43,780 That is noted. Alright, ladies. Let's keep going. 418 00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:46,340 Alright, ladies. Let's keep going. 419 00:15:46,340 --> 00:15:48,820 Feel free to join us and watch the show, Helen. 420 00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,260 Yeah. Alright. 421 00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:53,740 I'll be, um, in charge of endorphins, shall I? 422 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:53,980 I'll be, um, ROZ: One, two, three, four. 423 00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,660 ROZ: One, two, three, four. 424 00:15:56,660 --> 00:16:00,380 (WOMEN HARMONISE) 425 00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:11,660 (TO TUNE OF AVE MARIA) # Aunty Maria 426 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:13,380 # Ah 427 00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,780 # Aunty 428 00:16:15,780 --> 00:16:17,380 # Maria # Ah 429 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:22,580 # Rest in peace # Ah...ah. # 430 00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,380 We'll miss you. God bless. 431 00:16:24,380 --> 00:16:27,260 Oh! Nice! 432 00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:30,700 Do more church ones. Do more church ones. What's the other one? 433 00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:33,220 The...who knows the Our Father? Come on. Everyone knows that one. 434 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:35,260 I know...I know it. Go, go, go. 435 00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:39,060 # Our Father, who art... # 436 00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,260 Nah. Bit slow. Bit boring. 437 00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:43,860 Do the nun one where she rocks it with a guitar - you know, the... 438 00:16:43,860 --> 00:16:46,900 # Our Father, who art in heaven... # Alright. OK, stop. 439 00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:49,340 Stop. I think... now you're making fun. 440 00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:50,780 Having fun. Sorry, Maggie, what was that? 441 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:52,260 Ladies, I hate to break up rehearsal, 442 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:53,820 but I've got a birthing class to go to. 443 00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:56,020 Oh, great! Yes, and I've got book club. 444 00:16:56,020 --> 00:16:58,060 Ooh! Book club! Can I tag along, Tina? 445 00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,980 I'm Bobbie. Can I tag along, Bobbie? 446 00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:00,220 I'm Bobbie. Sure. Have you read Three Women? 447 00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,020 Sure. Have you read Three Women? 448 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,500 Yes. 449 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,980 What about when they have sex in the car? 450 00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,940 I know! Visceral! 451 00:17:07,940 --> 00:17:09,380 Going to book club, Roz. 452 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,420 HELEN: Hey, I won't be home for dinner tonight, 453 00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:15,660 HELEN: Hey, I won't be home because I am off to Kay's book club. 454 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:17,420 because I am off to Kay's book club. 455 00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:18,900 MAY: Who's Kay? 456 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:19,140 I met her last night MAY: Who's Kay? 457 00:17:19,140 --> 00:17:20,740 I met her last night at Bobbie's book club. 458 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,260 And then she invited me to HER book club. 459 00:17:22,260 --> 00:17:24,260 I've got a few invitations, actually. I've got Anna. 460 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,940 She's another friend of Bobbie's. And then I've got Beverley someone. 461 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:30,500 Hers is the third Thursday of every month. I'll never remember that. 462 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,020 But the thing is, I've told everyone I'm lonely and I've got no friends. 463 00:17:33,020 --> 00:17:33,260 But the thing is, I've told everyone Good on you for admitting it. 464 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:34,820 Good on you for admitting it. 465 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:37,580 That's a good first step. Sorry, what am I admitting? 466 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:40,100 That you're lonely. I'm not lonely, guys. 467 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:43,220 I'm touting for business. I'm squabbler-touting. 468 00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,900 OK. I'm not lonely, guys. 469 00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:46,140 OK. Got heaps of...I've got friends. 470 00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,980 Got heaps of...I've got friends. 471 00:17:47,980 --> 00:17:51,660 Got a friend. Shut up. I do. 472 00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,740 ROZ: (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Raymond. 473 00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,060 Show me. Show me these photos. 474 00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:02,420 Oh, well, that's rubbish! 475 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,180 Terry's not a Gruber client. 476 00:18:04,180 --> 00:18:06,700 I know that, Roz, but Pike's claiming otherwise, 477 00:18:06,700 --> 00:18:08,580 and the board have asked us for a meeting. 478 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:10,780 Oh, they can have a meeting. Get them in here. 479 00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,620 I've got nothing to hide. Calm down. 480 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:15,140 I'll give Alex Walker a call. He knows us. He's on the board. 481 00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:17,580 And I'll just... Yeah. I would like a meeting. 482 00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:21,380 I welcome the opportunity to speak for myself and clear my name. 483 00:18:21,380 --> 00:18:23,700 I really think it would be easier to just sort of... 484 00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:23,940 I really think it would be easier ..do what you said. 485 00:18:23,940 --> 00:18:25,180 ..do what you said. 486 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,140 Mmm. I'll organise a meeting. 487 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,260 (PHONE CLATTERS) That screen needs a wipe. 488 00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,740 ROZ: Just keep it short and sharp and efficient. 489 00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:32,980 ROZ: Just keep it short and sharp Yep. Oh, thank you, George. 490 00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,620 Yep. Oh, thank you, George. 491 00:18:34,620 --> 00:18:36,740 Did you want me? Yeah, please. 492 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:36,980 Did you want me? Can you guys sit down for a sec? 493 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,180 Can you guys sit down for a sec? 494 00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:38,420 So, Alice Pike has made a complaint Can you guys sit down for a sec? 495 00:18:38,420 --> 00:18:43,100 So, Alice Pike has made a complaint to the Legal Services Board. 496 00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:45,340 Oh, not about me? No, Helen, about me. 497 00:18:45,340 --> 00:18:45,580 Oh, not about me? HELEN: Oh, good. For me. 498 00:18:45,580 --> 00:18:47,140 HELEN: Oh, good. For me. 499 00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,100 Not good for you, obviously. That's bad. 500 00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:51,380 She claims I'm in breach of my suspension 501 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:52,700 and working as a solicitor. 502 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:55,860 Oh, hardly! You don't do any work. I mean, George and I do it. 503 00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:56,100 Oh, hardly! You don't do any work. What is Alice Pike's problem? 504 00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,340 What is Alice Pike's problem? 505 00:18:57,340 --> 00:19:00,140 Oh, this goes way back to when Roz and... 506 00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:00,380 Oh, this goes way back The problem is... 507 00:19:00,380 --> 00:19:02,140 The problem is... 508 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:02,380 ..I've always been The problem is... 509 00:19:02,380 --> 00:19:04,220 ..I've always been a better lawyer than Alice Pike. 510 00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:06,340 Back in the day, I gave her what for in that courtroom 511 00:19:06,340 --> 00:19:06,580 Back in the day, I gave her on more than one occasion. 512 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,820 on more than one occasion. 513 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:11,020 Roz also gave Pike's boyfriend what for at a party once. 514 00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:12,940 That's the real reason. (GASPS) 515 00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,700 Did you cuckold Alice Pike? 516 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,460 It was over 30 years ago. 517 00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,940 He said they'd broken up. Did you just say 'cuckold'? 518 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,540 Yeah, we're doing The Miller's Tale at one of my book clubs. 519 00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:21,780 Yeah, we're doing The Miller's Tale It's about cuckolding, apparently. 520 00:19:21,780 --> 00:19:23,180 It's about cuckolding, apparently. 521 00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:23,420 I've not read it. It's about cuckolding, apparently. 522 00:19:23,420 --> 00:19:25,100 I've not read it. What's cuckolding? 523 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,980 Is that the thing where you put the belt around your neck? 524 00:19:26,980 --> 00:19:27,220 Is that the thing where 'Cause that's really dangerous, Roz. 525 00:19:27,220 --> 00:19:29,500 'Cause that's really dangerous, Roz. 526 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,380 No, it is not that. 527 00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:34,980 Item two. 528 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:41,820 Thank you. 529 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:54,540 Got a bit of reading there, Helen? What? 530 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:57,460 Oh, no, these are for my book clubs. I don't actually read them. 531 00:19:57,460 --> 00:19:59,820 I just wave it around, yeah, nod a bit, 532 00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:00,100 then, yeah, eat the snacks, drink the wine I just wave it around, yeah, nod a bit, 533 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,780 then, yeah, eat the snacks, drink the wine 534 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:02,020 then, yeah, eat the snacks, drink the wine and tout for squabblers. 535 00:20:02,020 --> 00:20:03,780 and tout for squabblers. 536 00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:06,260 I could do that. Any word from the board, Raymond? 537 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:08,900 You got your wish, Roz. Alex Walker's coming in this afternoon. 538 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,820 Great! I shall prepare my defence. 539 00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,660 Yeah. 540 00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:17,820 The simple answer is no, you cannot freeze a potato. 541 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:22,420 Maggie. Maggie, I'm telling you, you're not in labour. 542 00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:22,660 Maggie. Maggie, I'm telling you, It's just Braxton Hicks. 543 00:20:22,660 --> 00:20:24,900 It's just Braxton Hicks. 544 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,260 No. That is definitely false labour. 545 00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,140 I can hear it. I can hear it. That baby is not coming out today. 546 00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:34,860 Oh, come on, Maggie. This is so important to me. 547 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,460 This is my chance... 548 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,220 Maggie? 549 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:40,940 Maggie? Hello? 550 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,900 Oh! Shit! Shit, shit! 551 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,140 Shit. Shit! 552 00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:46,380 Helen! Shit. Shit! 553 00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:49,020 Helen! Yep. 554 00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:50,820 What are you doing? Nothing. I wasn't. 555 00:20:50,820 --> 00:20:51,060 What are you doing? Right. 556 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,300 Right. 557 00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:55,580 You are my new drone. Don't know what that means. 558 00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:55,820 You are my new drone. Listen. 559 00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:57,300 Listen. 560 00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:59,060 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 561 00:20:59,060 --> 00:21:00,540 # Maa... # 562 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:02,420 # Ma-maa? # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 563 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:04,420 # Maa # Maa 564 00:21:04,420 --> 00:21:06,180 # Maa... # Ah... # 565 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,420 Lower. You're the drone. Lower. 566 00:21:08,420 --> 00:21:10,420 (LOW) # Ohh... # Use your diaphragm. 567 00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:13,020 (LOWER) # Ohh... # That's your pelvis. 568 00:21:13,020 --> 00:21:15,580 # Ah...ah...ah... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 569 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,060 Just...it's the one note. Just hold the one note, Helen. 570 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,540 I'm not a singer, Roz. I'm not asking you to sing. 571 00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:23,940 I'm asking you to drone. Come on. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 572 00:21:23,940 --> 00:21:24,180 I'm asking you to drone. Come on. (BOTH DRONE) 573 00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,740 (BOTH DRONE) 574 00:21:25,740 --> 00:21:27,620 That's it. That's it. You've got it. You've got it. 575 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,900 Fisk, what are you doing? # I'm the drone... # 576 00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:33,140 Maggie's gone into labour, or so she says. 577 00:21:33,140 --> 00:21:35,500 Alex is gonna be here in half an hour, but it's not too late. 578 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:37,740 I could still give him a call and explain everything. 579 00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:39,500 Yeah, I reckon let's just do what Ray said. 580 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:44,060 Ray, this is about me going on the record and clearing my name. 581 00:21:44,060 --> 00:21:47,180 Feels more about you showing off and doing one of your little concerts. 582 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,180 Uh, Roz, two of your black lady Wiggles are in reception. 583 00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:52,700 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) And put this on. 584 00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:56,700 (DRONES) Think you're a bit flat, Helen. 585 00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:59,380 You think? (DRONES HIGHER) RAY: Oh, for God's sake, Fisk! 586 00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:02,780 Enough. You sound like a cow with a vuvuzela stuck up its arse. 587 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:05,300 What time's Pike coming in to sign off on the 60/40 deal? 588 00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:06,740 About five. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) Alright. 589 00:22:06,740 --> 00:22:06,980 About five. (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) (DRONES) 590 00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:10,340 (DRONES) 591 00:22:10,340 --> 00:22:12,260 That's nice. (DRONES) 592 00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:18,180 MAN: That's a true story. I'm not making that up. 593 00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:21,100 MAN 2: Mate, true or made-up, it's still not interesting. 594 00:22:22,580 --> 00:22:25,340 And I requested a quiet ride. 595 00:22:25,340 --> 00:22:26,820 One star. 596 00:22:26,820 --> 00:22:28,780 (SIGHS) 597 00:22:34,060 --> 00:22:36,020 Ladies and gentlemen, 598 00:22:36,020 --> 00:22:37,500 distinguished guest, 599 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:42,220 friends beyond the binary and member of the board. 600 00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:43,900 It's a pleas... Hurry it up, mate. 601 00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:46,620 Thank you. Thank you, George. I'll take it from here. 602 00:22:48,580 --> 00:22:50,620 Good afternoon. 603 00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:54,660 May I present to you the Sadrigals, an all-woman madrigal group 604 00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:57,660 available for funerals and memorial services. 605 00:22:57,660 --> 00:22:57,900 available for funerals And this...this is Terry. 606 00:22:57,900 --> 00:22:59,940 And this...this is Terry. 607 00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:02,420 Would you please state who you are for the record? 608 00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:04,060 My name is Terry Montanello. 609 00:23:04,060 --> 00:23:05,660 The Sadrigals will be performing 610 00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:10,140 at the funeral of my Great-Aunt Maria this Saturday. (LAUGHS) 611 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,100 And for the record... ALEX: There's no record. 612 00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:12,340 And for the record... This is an informal... 613 00:23:12,340 --> 00:23:14,860 This is an informal... 614 00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:16,540 ..whatever this is. 615 00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:18,500 My apologies. I'll rephrase. 616 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:20,980 And for those present, would you please state 617 00:23:20,980 --> 00:23:21,220 And for those present, what you are not, Terry? 618 00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,460 what you are not, Terry? 619 00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:26,660 I am not a client of Gruber & Associates. 620 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:26,900 I am not a client ROZ: Thank you. Helen? 621 00:23:26,900 --> 00:23:28,540 ROZ: Thank you. Helen? 622 00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:32,020 I also am not a client of Gruber... 623 00:23:32,020 --> 00:23:33,660 ROZ: Pitchpipe, pitchpipe. ..& As... 624 00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:33,900 ROZ: Pitchpipe, pitchpipe. Yep. Sorry. 625 00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:35,620 Yep. Sorry. 626 00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:38,380 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 627 00:23:38,380 --> 00:23:40,500 # Bwa # Ah 628 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,020 # Bwa... # Ah... 629 00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:44,180 # Bwa... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 630 00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:44,420 # Bwa... # # Bap-ba-dap 631 00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:46,660 # Bap-ba-dap 632 00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:49,620 # Da-da-dap Mmm, doo, da-da-dap 633 00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:49,860 # Da-da-dap # Mmm, doo, da-da-dap 634 00:23:49,860 --> 00:23:51,660 # Mmm, doo, da-da-dap 635 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,860 # Mmm, doo, da-da, da-da, da-da... # 636 00:23:53,860 --> 00:23:55,300 (WOMEN SNAP FINGERS) (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 637 00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:55,540 (WOMEN SNAP FINGERS) # Her love shines over my horizon 638 00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:59,460 # Her love shines over my horizon 639 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:02,340 # She's a slice of heaven 640 00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:06,780 # Warm moonlight over my horizon 641 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:09,900 # She's a slice of heaven... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE) 642 00:24:09,900 --> 00:24:10,140 # She's a slice of heaven... # # Her love shines over my horizon 643 00:24:10,140 --> 00:24:13,540 # Her love shines over my horizon 644 00:24:13,540 --> 00:24:16,220 # She's a slice of heaven... # 645 00:24:16,220 --> 00:24:17,660 Everyone. 646 00:24:17,660 --> 00:24:21,500 # Warm moonlight over my horizon 647 00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:21,740 # She's a slice of heaven... # # Warm moonlight over my horizon 648 00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:25,580 # She's a slice of heaven... # (BLOWS PITCHPIPE CONTINUOUSLY) 649 00:24:25,580 --> 00:24:25,820 # She's a slice of heaven... # # Ooh... # 650 00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:28,580 # Ooh... # 651 00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:30,980 (BLOWS PITCHPIPE CONTINUOUSLY) 652 00:24:32,740 --> 00:24:34,380 (WOMEN LAUGH) 653 00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:34,620 That, sir, is the work (WOMEN LAUGH) 654 00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:38,380 That, sir, is the work I've been doing. (LAUGHS) 655 00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:38,620 That, sir, is the work Well, thank you, ladies. 656 00:24:38,620 --> 00:24:40,100 Well, thank you, ladies. 657 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,180 That was not only unexpected... ROZ: Mmm! 658 00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:44,060 ..but also a complete waste of my time. 659 00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:46,300 Oh. Terry, sorry for your loss. 660 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:49,820 Ray, you couldn't just call me, explain what happened? 661 00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:51,500 Sorry, mate. You know what she's like. 662 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:54,060 I'm too busy for this sort of shit. I know. I know you are. 663 00:24:54,060 --> 00:24:56,580 Thank you for coming in. I really appreciate it, Terry. 664 00:24:56,580 --> 00:25:00,100 So the Sondheim's definitely in and so's the Jesus Christ... 665 00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,020 She forgot to breathe! I can't get any air. 666 00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:05,380 I can't get any air. Here, here. Here. 667 00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:12,620 (SIGHS) 668 00:25:14,460 --> 00:25:18,140 (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Alice Pike is here to sign some paperwork. 669 00:25:18,140 --> 00:25:20,220 No, I don't want to see her. Get Ray to do it. 670 00:25:20,220 --> 00:25:22,820 He's not here. Check the...stationery cupboard. 671 00:25:22,820 --> 00:25:23,060 He's not here. Checked it. He's not there. 672 00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,460 Checked it. He's not there. 673 00:25:24,460 --> 00:25:27,820 Oh. Ooh! Ooh! You know where he would be? 674 00:25:27,820 --> 00:25:29,060 (CAR DOOR OPENS) 675 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,540 (PERSON SITS DOWN) 676 00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:32,020 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) (GASPS) 677 00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:32,260 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) ALICE: Well, this is sad. 678 00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:33,540 ALICE: Well, this is sad. 679 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:38,060 (BELL RINGS) 680 00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:40,500 HELEN: Hi there. WOMAN: Hi. 681 00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,700 I just wanted to return these books, please. I, um... 682 00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:44,540 Got the receipt there? Yeah. 683 00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:46,780 I bought them by accident. So... 684 00:25:47,780 --> 00:25:49,260 Is that hummus? 685 00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:51,180 Well, I don't think so. 686 00:25:51,180 --> 00:25:53,220 I can't take these back. They're filthy. 687 00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:55,700 Well, I can't read them. They're impenetrable. 688 00:26:00,820 --> 00:26:02,500 RAY: So, what did we think? 689 00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,740 Did anyone else get the sense that the Shroud 690 00:26:04,740 --> 00:26:08,380 was like a metaphor for the sins of man? 691 00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:09,620 No, mate. I thought it was shit. 692 00:26:09,620 --> 00:26:11,580 Thought we were doing the book about the cuckold. 693 00:26:11,580 --> 00:26:11,820 Thought we were doing the book I thought there'd be snacks. 694 00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:12,900 I thought there'd be snacks. 695 00:26:14,260 --> 00:26:15,900 Shall we go to the pub? 696 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:16,140 OTHERS: Yep. Yep. Shall we go to the pub? 697 00:26:16,140 --> 00:26:17,580 OTHERS: Yep. Yep. Yep? Leave those. 698 00:26:17,580 --> 00:26:17,820 OTHERS: Yep. Yep. I'll whack 'em in recycling. 699 00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:20,100 I'll whack 'em in recycling. 700 00:26:32,020 --> 00:26:34,660 Captions by Red Bee Media 701 00:26:34,660 --> 00:26:37,500 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation