1
00:00:44,846 --> 00:00:46,413
You were incredible.
2
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,283
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:52,419
I felt it too.
4
00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:54,454
All thanks
to your brute strength, Dash,
5
00:00:54,589 --> 00:00:57,659
and your knowledge
of ancient Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:00:57,792 --> 00:01:00,662
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
7
00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,897
and my master's
in Gender Studies
8
00:01:03,765 --> 00:01:06,768
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,069
The truth is,
10
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:11,539
I never thought I would find
the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:11,673 --> 00:01:14,609
I would choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,443
They will be your last.
13
00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:20,314
You led me right
to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:24,018
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:27,021
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:29,891
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:30,792 --> 00:01:34,161
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:35,863
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:35,997 --> 00:01:38,432
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,400
just waiting for us
to show up?
21
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,604
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:42,737 --> 00:01:44,906
Why is that one not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
23
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:47,875
- Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something?
- Yeah, well...
24
00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:50,277
I mean,
the snake-to-temple ratio alone...
25
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:52,880
This is ridiculous.
Delete.
26
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:55,950
I... I think my character
can still work.
27
00:01:56,084 --> 00:01:57,785
Delete.
28
00:01:57,919 --> 00:02:00,220
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
29
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,122
Delete.
30
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,293
Hey, it's me, Beth.
31
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,830
I don't want to pull the whole "I'm
your publisher" card, but I am.
32
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:11,298
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
33
00:02:11,431 --> 00:02:13,400
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
34
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:17,739
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
35
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,272
You got this.
36
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:21,709
Thank you.
37
00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:23,845
Me again.
38
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,813
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
39
00:02:25,947 --> 00:02:28,750
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
40
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,985
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
41
00:02:31,119 --> 00:02:33,554
because you don't want
to leave your house.
42
00:02:33,688 --> 00:02:38,860
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
43
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:42,362
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
44
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,099
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
45
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:48,002
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
46
00:02:48,136 --> 00:02:51,139
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
47
00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,540
Love you, bye!
48
00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,027
We have to keep going.
49
00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:16,496
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
50
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:18,766
But what if
there isn't anything?
51
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,602
There's only one way
to find out.
52
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:24,371
Then Lovemore realized
53
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,741
the treasure she wanted
was lost forever
54
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,242
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
55
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,477
That doesn't feel right.
56
00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:32,379
Yeah, but that's it.
57
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,981
That's the end.
58
00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,625
Well, John,
59
00:03:45,193 --> 00:03:46,259
here I go.
60
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,696
Dulcius ex asperis.
61
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:57,839
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
62
00:03:57,972 --> 00:04:01,609
Because I have a wedgie in the back
and in the front in this thing.
63
00:04:01,743 --> 00:04:03,878
I feel like
a nerdy figure skater.
64
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:06,681
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
65
00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,750
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
66
00:04:08,883 --> 00:04:11,052
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
67
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,353
Get it out now 'cause you
can't do that onstage.
68
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:16,157
And we're done.
And we're done. Okay, good.
69
00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,159
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
70
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:19,694
You only have to wear this
for two hours.
71
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,763
Do not mess this up, do you hear me?
This is on loan.
72
00:04:21,896 --> 00:04:23,898
Everyone's wearing
sequins right now.
73
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,467
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
74
00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:29,871
She is our new
social media manager.
75
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:32,807
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
76
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,408
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
77
00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,011
Hey, what's up?
78
00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:40,515
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
79
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:45,820
"Where are my ladies at?
Meet me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
80
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,354
#ShawnMendes.
81
00:04:47,487 --> 00:04:50,323
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
82
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,960
Okay, we are having fun.
Let's go.
83
00:04:53,094 --> 00:04:55,997
We need to remind people that you are still alive.
84
00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:57,497
People know I'm alive.
85
00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:59,567
And to remind them
why this used to be
86
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,803
- the best selling franchise.
- In Romance.
87
00:05:01,936 --> 00:05:04,437
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
88
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:07,440
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
89
00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,677
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
90
00:05:09,811 --> 00:05:11,411
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
91
00:05:11,546 --> 00:05:14,347
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
92
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,184
"Loveless."
"Passionless."
93
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,221
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
94
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,489
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
95
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,892
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
96
00:05:25,026 --> 00:05:28,596
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
97
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,965
History had
a ton of nudity.
98
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,868
Deep exploration.
99
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,403
Steamy wondering.
100
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:41,576
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
101
00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:43,511
Join them on their search.
102
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:45,546
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
103
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:46,881
There's so many people.
104
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,116
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
105
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,986
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
106
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,055
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
107
00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:57,058
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
108
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:59,994
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
109
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:03,164
Thank you. You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
110
00:06:03,297 --> 00:06:04,464
Let me help you with that.
111
00:06:04,599 --> 00:06:06,466
He is... He's
a body wash commercial.
112
00:06:06,601 --> 00:06:08,401
He's always glistening
all over the place.
113
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,438
There hasn't been an event where
his shirt didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,040
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
115
00:06:13,174 --> 00:06:15,309
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
116
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,613
Remember, no grumpy face,
big words or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:22,016
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:24,051
Come on, RTP!
119
00:06:24,185 --> 00:06:25,620
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,955
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:28,089 --> 00:06:31,525
I am so excited
to introduce to you
122
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:35,428
the award-winning author,
Loretta Sage!
123
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,099
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,934
Listen, I've got your back.
You got this.
125
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,569
Go give the people
what they want.
126
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,537
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
127
00:06:46,107 --> 00:06:50,011
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
128
00:06:55,283 --> 00:06:56,984
Yep. Mount it.
129
00:06:59,452 --> 00:07:02,323
Mount it. Mount it.
Okay.
130
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:04,091
Find your center.
131
00:07:04,225 --> 00:07:07,762
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
132
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,630
- The sexiest...
- All right!
133
00:07:09,764 --> 00:07:13,734
...most influential hero
of a generation.
134
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:15,036
That's a bit strong.
135
00:07:15,169 --> 00:07:17,872
His 20th cover
of an Angela Lovemore novel.
136
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:20,541
Dash McMahon!
137
00:07:26,013 --> 00:07:28,516
Oh, my God! Dash!
138
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,574
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
139
00:07:53,708 --> 00:07:56,644
Okay, come on.
One more. I got you.
140
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,227
Did you guys rehearse that?
Oh, my God.
141
00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:17,198
I'm loving this chemistry between you
two, and I got to say,
142
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,433
I love this book.
143
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:20,601
- Oh, thank you, Ray.
- Thank...
144
00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:22,103
Spoiler alert.
145
00:08:22,236 --> 00:08:23,471
A really bold choice
146
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:25,506
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
147
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,208
Talk about
what went into this one.
148
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,778
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
149
00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:33,714
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
150
00:08:33,848 --> 00:08:35,916
that Loretta,
word writer extraordinaire,
151
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:39,086
has, you know,
named the book after me.
152
00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:41,022
The Lost City of Dash.
153
00:08:41,155 --> 00:08:42,189
The Lost City of D.
154
00:08:42,323 --> 00:08:44,558
Um, but that's not what
the D stands for.
155
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,228
- It's D for "dick," right?
- No dick, no.
156
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:50,431
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
157
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:55,136
And, um, it was too difficult for
the European colonizers to pronounce,
158
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:58,472
- so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.
- No one cares about this.
159
00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,274
That's so interesting.
Okay.
160
00:09:00,408 --> 00:09:02,710
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
161
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,578
- Right here, handsome!
- Yes.
162
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:08,816
- Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment?
- Ooh.
163
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:13,487
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,524
Ooh, spicy.
165
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,558
Oh, uh...
166
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,327
Well, being a sapiosexual...
167
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,663
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
168
00:09:22,797 --> 00:09:26,867
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
169
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:30,905
or intelligence,
uh, very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,139
Same.
171
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:33,808
Really?
172
00:09:33,941 --> 00:09:36,310
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:36,444 --> 00:09:40,147
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:42,116
Do we have questions
for Loretta?
175
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:47,421
Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:47,556 --> 00:09:49,558
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
177
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,928
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
178
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,565
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,999
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off!
180
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:02,903
Of course. Of course, yes.
Can do.
181
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:05,072
Is this happening?
182
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,907
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,076
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
184
00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:11,912
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
185
00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:15,249
Ladies and gentlemen,
enjoy.
186
00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:20,020
Because The Lost City of D
is Dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:22,189
If there even
is a next book,
188
00:10:22,323 --> 00:10:25,426
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,928
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,330
What?
191
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,931
- Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.
- Ow. Hold on.
192
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:32,099
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:32,233 --> 00:10:33,734
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:35,236
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
195
00:10:35,369 --> 00:10:38,005
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't...
196
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:43,344
Oh, my!
197
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,845
- Oh, my God.
- Is he okay?
198
00:10:44,979 --> 00:10:46,548
God, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,316
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
200
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:53,754
Stick around for the
costume contest at 6:00 p.m.
201
00:10:54,556 --> 00:10:56,690
"If there is another book"?
202
00:10:56,824 --> 00:11:01,729
I'm investing everything we've
got into this tour, okay?
203
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,332
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
204
00:11:05,466 --> 00:11:06,800
How does Dash die?
205
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,036
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
206
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,472
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
207
00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:14,041
You guys have an interview in
the next suite in ten minutes.
208
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:16,578
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
209
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,212
and get yourselves there
on your own?
210
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,548
Okay. Thank you so much.
211
00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:22,416
Does he die from
a staph infection?
212
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,453
It is a staph infection.
I knew it.
213
00:11:27,622 --> 00:11:28,956
I-I... All right.
214
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:32,126
Look, I get it if you
need a break or something,
215
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,261
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
216
00:11:34,395 --> 00:11:38,766
I hate that I have to ask this,
but you do know you're not Dash, right?
217
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,068
Dash is a character
I made up.
218
00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:42,436
Dash?
219
00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:46,473
Thanks.
220
00:11:46,608 --> 00:11:47,841
Thank you.
221
00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:52,514
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:52,647 --> 00:11:54,982
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
223
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,884
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
224
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,620
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:01,690
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:05,694
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
227
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,795
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:10,264
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,700
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:13,535
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,402
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,338
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,473
I don't feel like
that's very happy.
234
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,476
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
235
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,812
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:28,282
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
237
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,917
You could be visiting
ancient Greece.
238
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,920
Okay. How could I visit
ancient Greece?
239
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:35,055
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:35,189 --> 00:12:38,627
No. Because ancient Greece
is in the past.
241
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,261
Just like Dash.
242
00:12:40,394 --> 00:12:43,565
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:46,467
You're so afraid of life hurting you
again that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,936
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:50,404 --> 00:12:52,439
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:53,708 --> 00:12:54,842
Oh.
247
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,077
Mummies are human.
248
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,355
Stupid... Oh, crap.
249
00:13:09,390 --> 00:13:11,325
I'm so sorry.
I-I will clean this up.
250
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,894
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
251
00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:17,532
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
252
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:19,199
Thank you. Thank you.
253
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,070
Bring the car around.
254
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,606
God, is that
someone's retainer?
255
00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:27,074
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
256
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:29,076
I get nervous
because she opens her mouth,
257
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:33,682
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
258
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:35,082
You know
she's trying to kill me?
259
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,351
I just need
those tomatoes.
260
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,820
You're right.
No, you're right.
261
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,422
I should apologize.
Thank you, man.
262
00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:43,824
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
263
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,203
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
264
00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:02,510
Uh...
265
00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:04,978
Hiya.
266
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,548
Uh, I did not order
an UberPool.
267
00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:09,651
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
268
00:14:09,784 --> 00:14:11,018
Um...
269
00:14:14,488 --> 00:14:15,724
Loretta!
270
00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,391
Loretta! Loretta?
271
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,096
Uh, Loretta?
272
00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:24,799
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
273
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,100
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
274
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,935
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
275
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,138
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
276
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,576
What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"?
277
00:14:34,709 --> 00:14:36,076
Am I sold already?
278
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:39,179
Am I...
Am I sold to him?
279
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,950
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
280
00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:45,720
I said
don't make it creepy, guys.
281
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:47,622
I'm so sorry
about the setting.
282
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,324
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic to meet you.
283
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,493
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
284
00:14:52,627 --> 00:14:55,396
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
285
00:14:55,530 --> 00:14:59,534
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
286
00:14:59,667 --> 00:15:01,468
No. Um...
287
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:05,973
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
288
00:15:06,641 --> 00:15:07,876
But first, a little bit
289
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:11,178
about the mysterious rogue
you see before you.
290
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:13,548
Uh, my name
is Abigail Fairfax.
291
00:15:13,681 --> 00:15:16,618
- Abigail?
- It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly.
292
00:15:16,751 --> 00:15:20,487
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
293
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:24,559
Didn't you just
take over your company or...
294
00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:28,596
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
295
00:15:28,730 --> 00:15:31,833
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
296
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,868
Some might even say
too young.
297
00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:36,704
But that world
never really interested me.
298
00:15:36,838 --> 00:15:39,373
My passions, as you may know,
299
00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:42,610
lie in the hidden things
in the world,
300
00:15:42,744 --> 00:15:45,312
things which defy possession.
301
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:48,482
Um, some might call me
a collector.
302
00:15:48,616 --> 00:15:52,319
But there is one obsession
in particular
303
00:15:52,453 --> 00:15:54,556
that has held me captive.
304
00:15:55,657 --> 00:15:57,090
The Crown of Fire
305
00:15:57,224 --> 00:15:59,561
and its cascading
red diamonds.
306
00:15:59,694 --> 00:16:03,330
Is this a... Is this
a hidden-camera thing?
307
00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:07,034
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
308
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:10,437
amidst the pages
of coital reverie,
309
00:16:10,572 --> 00:16:11,338
was something...
310
00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:13,541
- Oh, God.
- ...quite magnificent.
311
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,946
I get it. I get it.
I so get it right now.
312
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,346
Oh, my gosh.
313
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,649
I literally thought
you guys kidnapped me.
314
00:16:21,783 --> 00:16:24,251
I mean, this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
315
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:27,254
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
316
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,592
You, with your gun
and your mustache
317
00:16:30,725 --> 00:16:33,695
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
318
00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:36,396
Oh, my God.
319
00:16:36,531 --> 00:16:40,234
You, with the G.I.
Joe tone-on-tone outfit.
320
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:45,372
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
321
00:16:45,507 --> 00:16:48,375
- Mm-hmm.
- Something nobody else has been able to do.
322
00:16:48,510 --> 00:16:50,912
Well, nobody else
had ever tried.
323
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,881
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
324
00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:54,649
Except you, right?
325
00:16:54,782 --> 00:16:56,651
Except me!
326
00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:58,452
Yes. See, it turns out
327
00:16:58,586 --> 00:17:01,856
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
328
00:17:01,990 --> 00:17:04,826
on the dead language of the D
with her future husband,
329
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:08,028
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
330
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:11,265
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
331
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,066
But what that means is,
332
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,169
you're all I have left.
333
00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:19,473
All-All you have left
for... what?
334
00:17:19,607 --> 00:17:20,642
Hmm.
335
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:23,678
Oh.
336
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:25,212
Here we go.
337
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:40,962
What is this?
338
00:17:41,094 --> 00:17:44,766
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
339
00:17:44,899 --> 00:17:48,335
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
340
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:50,572
Well, if this were authentic,
341
00:17:50,705 --> 00:17:56,010
you would still have to
uncover an entire city
342
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:59,146
that nobody
has been able to find.
343
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,882
I found it.
344
00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:04,117
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
345
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:07,789
What I have not been able to find
is Kalaman's final resting place.
346
00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:12,192
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
347
00:18:12,326 --> 00:18:15,495
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
348
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,665
I need you.
349
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,200
- Well...
- Miss Sage,
350
00:18:20,334 --> 00:18:23,671
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
351
00:18:23,805 --> 00:18:26,373
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
352
00:18:26,507 --> 00:18:28,743
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
353
00:18:28,876 --> 00:18:31,980
but this is our chance
to show them all.
354
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,648
Come with me...
to the island.
355
00:18:33,781 --> 00:18:38,920
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
356
00:18:39,053 --> 00:18:41,689
You can name your price.
357
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,127
I must respectfully decline.
358
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,233
Well...
359
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:56,738
I can't say
I'm not disappointed.
360
00:18:57,505 --> 00:19:00,173
But I understand
how you feel.
361
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:05,178
Will you at least let us
give you a ride?
362
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:09,651
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car, and I'll just...
363
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,942
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
364
00:19:35,076 --> 00:19:38,012
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
365
00:19:38,146 --> 00:19:39,747
- APB.
- ...on an SUV,
366
00:19:39,881 --> 00:19:42,083
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
367
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,619
- ...and they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
368
00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:46,721
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
369
00:19:46,854 --> 00:19:49,389
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
370
00:19:49,524 --> 00:19:51,125
Everyone was, like,
freaking out.
371
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,561
But then she was just
in her car.
372
00:19:53,695 --> 00:19:56,831
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
373
00:19:56,964 --> 00:20:01,301
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
374
00:20:01,435 --> 00:20:03,938
or, like, you know,
private security or...
375
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,940
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
376
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:08,543
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
377
00:20:08,676 --> 00:20:11,244
Oh, yeah. I think I actually
have somebody that could help us.
378
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:14,314
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
379
00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:16,483
and there was this
trainer guy there.
380
00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:18,119
You should
see this guy meditate.
381
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,654
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
382
00:20:19,787 --> 00:20:23,591
He... He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
383
00:20:24,192 --> 00:20:25,358
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
384
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,061
So he's a trainer
named Jack Trainer?
385
00:20:27,195 --> 00:20:29,362
That's how I have everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice Mom."
386
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:30,898
"Larry Doorknob."
"Stacy Butt Stuff."
387
00:20:31,032 --> 00:20:33,735
Look, this is what this guy does.
He finds people.
388
00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:36,137
If there's anybody
that can help us, it's him.
389
00:20:43,077 --> 00:20:45,580
- Jack Trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer.
390
00:20:45,713 --> 00:20:49,650
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "Touching Your Inner Self."
391
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,920
The meditation retreat?
392
00:20:54,655 --> 00:20:57,625
Anyway, uh, okay.
Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped,
393
00:20:57,759 --> 00:20:59,193
and no one's helping us.
394
00:20:59,326 --> 00:21:00,795
How long she been missing?
395
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:02,196
Maybe two hours now.
396
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:03,531
Who is that?
397
00:21:03,664 --> 00:21:07,702
Um, this is B...
This is Beth. I'm Beth.
398
00:21:07,835 --> 00:21:10,238
And Allison
is on too, sir.
399
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,540
Did she have any
Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
400
00:21:12,673 --> 00:21:15,543
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
401
00:21:15,676 --> 00:21:18,246
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
402
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:21,314
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
403
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,984
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
404
00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:25,385
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
405
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,421
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
406
00:21:28,556 --> 00:21:30,958
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
407
00:21:31,092 --> 00:21:34,796
- Is that Oprah or Deepak?
- Laozi from Tao-te Ching.
408
00:21:34,929 --> 00:21:36,097
Oh, my God.
409
00:21:36,230 --> 00:21:37,865
It's in the Atlantic.
410
00:21:37,999 --> 00:21:40,367
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
411
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,637
'Cause she can't swim
that fast.
412
00:21:42,770 --> 00:21:44,172
Doesn't sound
like a ransom scenario.
413
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,908
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
414
00:21:47,041 --> 00:21:49,844
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
415
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,979
Real clown shit.
We'll have to move fast.
416
00:21:52,113 --> 00:21:55,016
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
417
00:21:55,149 --> 00:21:58,553
I'll have her back within 48
hours or your next rescue is free.
418
00:21:58,686 --> 00:22:00,154
How many people
need a next rescue?
419
00:22:00,288 --> 00:22:01,756
More than you'd think.
420
00:22:01,889 --> 00:22:03,691
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
421
00:22:03,825 --> 00:22:06,561
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
422
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:22,710
Hello.
423
00:22:27,281 --> 00:22:28,381
Where am I?
424
00:22:28,516 --> 00:22:30,483
Um, you're on my plane.
425
00:22:30,618 --> 00:22:31,786
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
426
00:22:31,919 --> 00:22:33,754
The seats are made of
mama llama leather.
427
00:22:33,888 --> 00:22:36,958
Well, I'm getting off
your plane.
428
00:22:37,091 --> 00:22:38,425
Unchain me!
429
00:22:38,559 --> 00:22:40,127
That's your seat belt.
430
00:22:40,695 --> 00:22:42,563
Did you chloroform me?
431
00:22:42,697 --> 00:22:44,899
People actually do that?
432
00:22:47,268 --> 00:22:49,971
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
433
00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:51,839
My body feels drunk.
434
00:22:51,973 --> 00:22:53,841
It'll wear off in a bit.
I am sorry.
435
00:22:53,975 --> 00:22:56,310
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
436
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:58,846
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
437
00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:01,682
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
438
00:23:01,816 --> 00:23:03,751
has developed
a bad case of indigestion.
439
00:23:03,885 --> 00:23:05,720
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
440
00:23:05,853 --> 00:23:07,889
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
441
00:23:08,022 --> 00:23:09,891
Oh, my God.
My legs don't work.
442
00:23:10,024 --> 00:23:15,462
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
443
00:23:15,596 --> 00:23:17,598
- Oh, God.
- Oh!
444
00:23:17,732 --> 00:23:19,967
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
445
00:23:20,101 --> 00:23:26,140
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
446
00:24:34,742 --> 00:24:36,844
Welcome to the Lost City.
447
00:24:46,454 --> 00:24:47,822
How did you find it?
448
00:24:47,955 --> 00:24:50,091
So, the city was built
on a lava dome.
449
00:24:50,224 --> 00:24:52,893
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
450
00:24:53,027 --> 00:24:55,563
and sunken things
rose to the surface.
451
00:24:55,696 --> 00:24:57,565
The D exposed itself.
452
00:24:57,698 --> 00:25:00,668
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
453
00:25:00,801 --> 00:25:04,005
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
454
00:25:04,138 --> 00:25:07,375
- The site?
- No. The island. The southern half.
455
00:25:07,508 --> 00:25:09,844
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
456
00:25:09,977 --> 00:25:12,246
We've been excavating
for a year now.
457
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,816
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
458
00:25:15,950 --> 00:25:17,952
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
459
00:25:18,085 --> 00:25:21,122
Rafi doesn't like it.
Do you, Rafi?
460
00:25:21,255 --> 00:25:24,358
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
461
00:25:24,492 --> 00:25:27,728
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
462
00:25:27,862 --> 00:25:29,964
Beggars can't be choosers.
463
00:25:39,774 --> 00:25:41,575
No more charcuterie,
I take it.
464
00:25:41,709 --> 00:25:43,778
Mmm. Please.
I'm not a monster.
465
00:25:43,911 --> 00:25:45,780
Whatever you need, just shout.
466
00:25:47,248 --> 00:25:52,186
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
467
00:25:53,387 --> 00:25:54,588
And then what?
468
00:25:54,722 --> 00:25:57,124
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
469
00:25:57,258 --> 00:25:59,360
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
470
00:25:59,493 --> 00:26:03,397
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
471
00:26:03,532 --> 00:26:06,067
It's a logographic system.
472
00:26:06,801 --> 00:26:09,336
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
473
00:26:09,470 --> 00:26:13,274
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
474
00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:14,642
Yeah, no luck there.
475
00:26:14,775 --> 00:26:17,546
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
476
00:26:17,678 --> 00:26:18,547
but it was useless.
477
00:26:18,679 --> 00:26:20,181
Just pictures of women.
478
00:26:20,314 --> 00:26:24,919
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
479
00:26:25,052 --> 00:26:27,755
was here to help,
but he's not, so,
480
00:26:27,888 --> 00:26:31,025
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
481
00:26:32,426 --> 00:26:34,161
They will come for me.
482
00:26:34,662 --> 00:26:36,430
Who, exactly?
483
00:26:36,565 --> 00:26:38,265
Your... Your many cats?
484
00:26:38,399 --> 00:26:40,201
Oh, I don't have cats.
485
00:26:40,768 --> 00:26:42,571
Somehow even more sad.
486
00:26:42,703 --> 00:26:45,639
I have a hamster, asshole!
487
00:26:45,773 --> 00:26:47,374
You have a hamster's asshole?
488
00:26:47,509 --> 00:26:51,245
No, there was a...
there was a comma between... Forget it.
489
00:26:51,378 --> 00:26:54,815
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
490
00:27:45,567 --> 00:27:47,134
Good to see you, man.
491
00:27:47,268 --> 00:27:48,903
- Phone.
- Right.
492
00:28:00,714 --> 00:28:01,916
What?
493
00:28:02,049 --> 00:28:04,619
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
494
00:28:04,752 --> 00:28:06,320
maybe just sort of
come with you.
495
00:28:06,453 --> 00:28:08,189
- Why?
- To help.
496
00:28:08,322 --> 00:28:12,426
I know CPR. I know some light karate.
CrossFit certified.
497
00:28:12,561 --> 00:28:14,094
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
498
00:28:14,929 --> 00:28:16,598
I just... It's my fault.
499
00:28:16,730 --> 00:28:18,766
Not the kidnapping
and stuff,
500
00:28:18,899 --> 00:28:21,969
but, like, I said some really mean
stuff to her, and I regret it,
501
00:28:22,102 --> 00:28:23,704
and I just need
to take it back.
502
00:28:23,837 --> 00:28:25,239
I called her a human mummy.
503
00:28:26,575 --> 00:28:28,008
Mummies are human.
504
00:28:28,643 --> 00:28:31,011
I'm aware of that now, yes.
505
00:28:31,145 --> 00:28:34,215
That is true.
506
00:28:34,348 --> 00:28:35,349
Please.
507
00:28:36,585 --> 00:28:39,320
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible for you.
508
00:28:40,287 --> 00:28:41,255
Okay. Yeah.
509
00:28:41,388 --> 00:28:44,325
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
510
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:46,528
- In the car.
- In the car.
511
00:28:46,661 --> 00:28:49,096
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
512
00:28:49,230 --> 00:28:50,431
Whole time.
513
00:28:50,565 --> 00:28:51,799
Mm-hmm.
514
00:28:53,568 --> 00:28:54,802
Yes!
515
00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:03,110
This is me.
516
00:29:03,978 --> 00:29:06,213
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
517
00:29:06,347 --> 00:29:08,983
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
518
00:29:09,116 --> 00:29:11,885
Right, right.
The Tao-te Ching?
519
00:29:12,019 --> 00:29:15,189
No, it was on the sign
back there at the rental place.
520
00:29:23,698 --> 00:29:24,932
Thank you.
521
00:29:57,766 --> 00:29:59,233
What? What?
522
00:30:01,435 --> 00:30:03,404
I was hoping to invite you
to breakfast,
523
00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:06,240
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
524
00:30:07,207 --> 00:30:08,942
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
525
00:30:09,076 --> 00:30:10,578
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:10,712 --> 00:30:12,681
I believe this says
527
00:30:12,813 --> 00:30:14,783
"rest" or "resting."
528
00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:17,752
So it would be,
"Kalaman and his treasure..."
529
00:30:17,885 --> 00:30:22,356
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
530
00:30:22,489 --> 00:30:25,926
and something about
"tears," so...
531
00:30:27,729 --> 00:30:28,697
Resting where?
532
00:30:28,829 --> 00:30:29,997
Hmm? Oh!
533
00:30:30,130 --> 00:30:32,866
Didn't say.
It doesn't say.
534
00:30:34,234 --> 00:30:37,204
Miss Sage,
I need you to do better.
535
00:30:37,338 --> 00:30:40,809
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
536
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:43,110
My God,
this shouldn't be this hard!
537
00:30:43,243 --> 00:30:45,145
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
538
00:30:45,279 --> 00:30:47,515
It is a monument to a great man!
539
00:30:47,649 --> 00:30:49,551
King Kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
540
00:30:49,684 --> 00:30:52,119
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
541
00:30:52,252 --> 00:30:54,888
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
542
00:30:55,022 --> 00:30:58,158
He would have had a pyramid,
a ziggurat, a tower
543
00:30:58,292 --> 00:31:00,227
to hold his Crown of Fire.
544
00:31:00,361 --> 00:31:03,297
All I need to know
is where it is.
545
00:31:03,430 --> 00:31:06,601
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
546
00:31:06,735 --> 00:31:08,869
I-I translated it.
547
00:31:09,671 --> 00:31:11,305
Translate it again.
548
00:31:16,877 --> 00:31:19,913
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
549
00:31:20,047 --> 00:31:22,216
Such an adventure
we're having.
550
00:31:25,285 --> 00:31:29,657
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
551
00:31:30,625 --> 00:31:32,226
This is pretty awesome.
552
00:31:32,359 --> 00:31:35,028
You got nature, the radio.
553
00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:39,768
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
554
00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:41,736
that she knows
that I came to rescue her.
555
00:31:41,870 --> 00:31:43,605
Why?
Do you like this woman?
556
00:31:44,539 --> 00:31:46,741
No, I just brought snacks
and stuff.
557
00:31:46,875 --> 00:31:49,009
And she gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
558
00:31:49,143 --> 00:31:52,547
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
559
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,416
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
560
00:31:55,550 --> 00:31:57,184
- No.
- No. Yeah.
561
00:31:57,317 --> 00:31:59,019
You don't need it.
562
00:31:59,153 --> 00:32:00,588
What is it?
563
00:32:00,722 --> 00:32:04,291
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
564
00:32:04,425 --> 00:32:08,630
But, Alan, you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
565
00:32:08,763 --> 00:32:12,099
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
566
00:32:12,232 --> 00:32:16,003
and I just go,
"Shh. You're safe now"?
567
00:32:17,070 --> 00:32:19,039
Sure, champ.
She'll love that.
568
00:32:19,173 --> 00:32:21,008
Oh, you're just going?
Going to start?
569
00:32:21,141 --> 00:32:23,578
You're starting
the mission now? Okay.
570
00:32:47,802 --> 00:32:50,003
Oh!
571
00:32:58,979 --> 00:33:00,414
Go to sleep.
572
00:33:29,309 --> 00:33:30,410
- Alan.
- What?
573
00:33:30,545 --> 00:33:32,279
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
574
00:33:32,412 --> 00:33:33,915
I can help. Let me help.
575
00:33:37,351 --> 00:33:40,020
Stay close. Stay alive.
576
00:33:44,893 --> 00:33:46,126
Hey.
577
00:33:51,098 --> 00:33:52,567
Go to sleep.
578
00:33:54,969 --> 00:33:59,039
I got his head. What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
579
00:34:05,178 --> 00:34:06,413
No.
580
00:34:06,915 --> 00:34:08,115
Hey, hey, no!
581
00:34:08,248 --> 00:34:09,449
No, no, no!
582
00:34:17,025 --> 00:34:18,826
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
583
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:19,894
Ow.
584
00:34:20,028 --> 00:34:21,529
Teamwork, yeah!
585
00:34:21,663 --> 00:34:24,966
Great effort, Alan, but that man
was already unconscious.
586
00:34:25,098 --> 00:34:26,801
I was already wound up.
587
00:34:27,702 --> 00:34:30,505
Just don't do it
when I'm...
588
00:34:33,575 --> 00:34:34,842
Hi.
589
00:34:37,077 --> 00:34:38,813
Oh!
590
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,716
On your seven!
591
00:34:46,654 --> 00:34:47,722
Oh!
592
00:34:52,492 --> 00:34:54,428
Trainer, he's not asleep!
593
00:34:54,562 --> 00:34:56,698
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
594
00:34:59,333 --> 00:35:01,836
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
595
00:35:01,970 --> 00:35:03,504
Where you going?
596
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,943
What?
597
00:35:11,646 --> 00:35:13,113
Loretta Sage?
598
00:35:13,615 --> 00:35:14,348
Yes.
599
00:35:14,481 --> 00:35:16,383
I'm getting you out of here.
600
00:35:17,384 --> 00:35:20,454
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
601
00:35:22,657 --> 00:35:23,423
A-Alan?
602
00:35:23,558 --> 00:35:25,560
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
603
00:35:25,693 --> 00:35:28,495
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
604
00:35:28,630 --> 00:35:30,898
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
605
00:35:32,265 --> 00:35:36,203
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
606
00:35:36,336 --> 00:35:39,574
No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
607
00:35:42,209 --> 00:35:43,711
Alan, why do you
keep doing that?
608
00:35:43,845 --> 00:35:45,780
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
609
00:35:45,913 --> 00:35:48,415
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
610
00:35:48,549 --> 00:35:50,250
I'm sorry.
I just wanted to get one in.
611
00:35:50,384 --> 00:35:53,453
- Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair?
- No time.
612
00:35:53,588 --> 00:35:55,923
No time? There's been so much chitchat.
613
00:35:56,057 --> 00:35:57,324
We should definitely go.
614
00:35:57,457 --> 00:35:59,060
Let's go! Let's go!
615
00:36:24,986 --> 00:36:26,087
Why are things exploding?
616
00:36:33,828 --> 00:36:34,862
I got...
617
00:36:36,496 --> 00:36:37,732
Okay.
618
00:36:38,633 --> 00:36:39,867
Shh...
619
00:36:40,001 --> 00:36:41,869
Shh. You're safe now.
620
00:36:42,003 --> 00:36:43,104
You're...
621
00:36:43,236 --> 00:36:45,338
How... How are you so calm?
622
00:36:45,472 --> 00:36:47,975
- That was my... That was my line.
- Here.
623
00:36:50,111 --> 00:36:51,946
- What?
- Is that Reiki?
624
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,515
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
625
00:36:54,649 --> 00:36:57,752
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
626
00:36:57,885 --> 00:37:00,788
- "...the whole universe surrenders."
- Hey, yeah, I know some...
627
00:37:00,922 --> 00:37:03,725
I know some, um,
quotes that could be good for this moment.
628
00:37:03,858 --> 00:37:05,593
In omnia paratus.
629
00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:08,261
"Ready for anything."
630
00:37:08,395 --> 00:37:11,032
Maybe we shouldn't be just staring
lovingly into each other's eyes
631
00:37:11,165 --> 00:37:14,669
like you're gonna fall in love
like I'm not here.
632
00:37:15,136 --> 00:37:16,137
Who are you?
633
00:37:16,269 --> 00:37:18,940
Just a guy
trying to do his job.
634
00:37:19,073 --> 00:37:21,909
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
635
00:37:22,744 --> 00:37:24,212
Oh! Oh.
636
00:37:24,344 --> 00:37:26,246
Oh, God. Okay.
637
00:37:27,414 --> 00:37:29,650
No. What is happening?
638
00:37:33,087 --> 00:37:35,056
Okay. What do we do?
639
00:37:35,189 --> 00:37:37,257
We need to do... I can't see.
640
00:37:37,390 --> 00:37:38,793
I don't like it!
641
00:37:38,926 --> 00:37:40,360
Here. Here!
642
00:37:40,494 --> 00:37:42,964
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
643
00:37:44,297 --> 00:37:47,135
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
644
00:37:50,705 --> 00:37:52,740
Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a Kegel or something!
645
00:37:52,874 --> 00:37:55,243
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
646
00:37:55,375 --> 00:37:57,645
I'm not in it, not in!
Still not in!
647
00:37:57,779 --> 00:38:00,148
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
648
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:02,216
Oh, oh, oh!
649
00:38:02,349 --> 00:38:05,887
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
650
00:38:06,020 --> 00:38:07,287
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
651
00:38:07,420 --> 00:38:09,757
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
652
00:38:13,493 --> 00:38:15,428
- Forward, forward!
- Okay. Okay.
653
00:38:15,563 --> 00:38:19,901
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
654
00:38:21,002 --> 00:38:24,672
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
655
00:38:26,306 --> 00:38:27,642
Ow.
656
00:38:27,775 --> 00:38:29,911
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
657
00:38:30,044 --> 00:38:31,746
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
658
00:38:31,879 --> 00:38:34,882
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
659
00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:38,052
Cheese and rice!
660
00:38:38,186 --> 00:38:39,620
- Are those his brains?
- What?
661
00:38:39,754 --> 00:38:41,722
I think his brains
are on my face!
662
00:38:41,856 --> 00:38:45,425
Definitely his brains are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
663
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:46,727
Focus on the road.
664
00:38:46,861 --> 00:38:48,963
He just liked
training people. Trainer.
665
00:38:49,096 --> 00:38:51,933
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
666
00:38:52,066 --> 00:38:54,635
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
667
00:38:54,769 --> 00:38:58,405
- Get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, God.
668
00:38:58,539 --> 00:38:59,841
Watch out!
669
00:39:04,045 --> 00:39:06,914
Oh! Oh! Oh!
670
00:39:09,217 --> 00:39:10,985
Oh, did you see...
671
00:39:13,955 --> 00:39:14,989
No.
672
00:39:20,393 --> 00:39:21,729
Oh.
673
00:39:23,164 --> 00:39:25,498
Oh, no. Oh, no.
674
00:39:26,033 --> 00:39:27,535
Oh, no.
675
00:39:35,943 --> 00:39:37,477
Oh, no.
676
00:39:38,145 --> 00:39:39,914
Alan?
677
00:39:40,047 --> 00:39:43,651
Oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
678
00:39:43,784 --> 00:39:45,853
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
679
00:39:45,987 --> 00:39:47,487
Yeah. Okay.
680
00:39:47,622 --> 00:39:50,490
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
681
00:39:50,625 --> 00:39:52,026
Okay. I got you.
I got you.
682
00:39:52,159 --> 00:39:54,595
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
683
00:39:54,729 --> 00:39:56,597
You're right.
You're right. You're right.
684
00:39:57,899 --> 00:39:59,700
- Is that... Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
685
00:39:59,834 --> 00:40:01,269
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
686
00:40:01,401 --> 00:40:03,204
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
687
00:40:03,337 --> 00:40:05,172
you can catch it
instead of ducking.
688
00:40:05,306 --> 00:40:08,509
How about the next time you toss a gun
at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
689
00:40:08,643 --> 00:40:10,477
Then maybe do that
before you throw it?
690
00:40:10,611 --> 00:40:12,713
Well, "here"
is a synonym for "catch."
691
00:40:12,847 --> 00:40:14,348
No, "here" is not a cinnamon
for "catch."
692
00:40:14,481 --> 00:40:16,517
In a colloquial kind of way,
yes, it is.
693
00:40:16,651 --> 00:40:18,719
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a sweatshirt.
694
00:40:18,853 --> 00:40:20,821
You say, "Here,"
I toss you a pen.
695
00:40:20,955 --> 00:40:23,958
How 'bout just,
"Hey! Catch! Gun!"
696
00:40:24,091 --> 00:40:27,094
Anything that you want to throw,
I'll catch it because you said, "Catch."
697
00:40:27,228 --> 00:40:28,963
And I'll catch it
because you said it.
698
00:40:29,096 --> 00:40:31,498
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun with us.
699
00:40:31,632 --> 00:40:32,700
That's a thing.
700
00:40:32,833 --> 00:40:35,102
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
701
00:40:35,236 --> 00:40:36,837
Be careful.
702
00:40:36,971 --> 00:40:39,472
We need to call for help,
get to the airport and get out of here.
703
00:40:39,607 --> 00:40:41,676
- And I am driving.
- Okay.
704
00:40:43,811 --> 00:40:46,747
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
705
00:40:56,390 --> 00:40:58,726
Okay, call for...
call for help.
706
00:40:58,859 --> 00:41:00,695
Where's your phone?
707
00:41:04,065 --> 00:41:05,099
Okay.
708
00:41:08,703 --> 00:41:11,539
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
709
00:41:13,207 --> 00:41:16,010
Oh, Loretta.
710
00:41:16,143 --> 00:41:18,179
What are you thinking?
711
00:41:18,312 --> 00:41:21,382
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
712
00:41:21,515 --> 00:41:25,219
And he is clearly skilled,
highly trained
713
00:41:26,220 --> 00:41:27,888
and very dangerous.
714
00:41:37,665 --> 00:41:41,702
So, Miss Sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
715
00:41:41,836 --> 00:41:46,440
then got in a car
and left the event?
716
00:41:46,574 --> 00:41:49,310
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
717
00:41:49,443 --> 00:41:50,811
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
718
00:41:50,945 --> 00:41:52,680
Where's my magnifier?
719
00:41:52,813 --> 00:41:54,749
Listen, can you please
help with Nana?
720
00:41:54,882 --> 00:41:57,184
I don't want her hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
721
00:41:57,318 --> 00:42:00,388
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
722
00:42:00,521 --> 00:42:01,756
- Good.
- Yeah.
723
00:42:01,889 --> 00:42:04,358
That girl needed
to get out of the house.
724
00:42:04,492 --> 00:42:08,562
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it.
725
00:42:08,696 --> 00:42:13,134
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
726
00:42:13,267 --> 00:42:15,536
And that is how we found
her wearable.
727
00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:17,304
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
728
00:42:17,438 --> 00:42:20,307
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
729
00:42:20,441 --> 00:42:23,411
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
730
00:42:23,544 --> 00:42:26,447
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
731
00:42:26,580 --> 00:42:29,717
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
732
00:42:29,850 --> 00:42:31,719
Listen,
Loretta Sage is missing.
733
00:42:31,852 --> 00:42:34,055
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
734
00:42:34,188 --> 00:42:35,856
to some island
I've never even heard about.
735
00:42:35,990 --> 00:42:37,625
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
736
00:42:37,758 --> 00:42:40,127
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good for you.
737
00:42:40,261 --> 00:42:42,963
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
738
00:42:43,097 --> 00:42:46,100
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
739
00:42:46,233 --> 00:42:48,602
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
740
00:42:48,736 --> 00:42:51,172
- For me.
- For us.
741
00:42:56,710 --> 00:42:58,245
Oh, oh.
742
00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:07,488
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
743
00:43:07,621 --> 00:43:09,857
Well... we could...
744
00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:28,442
- Where did you say the phone was?
- Passenger glove.
745
00:43:28,577 --> 00:43:30,311
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
746
00:43:30,444 --> 00:43:31,679
Goodness.
747
00:43:32,780 --> 00:43:34,248
Oh, my God.
748
00:43:34,381 --> 00:43:36,617
Oh, my God. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out...
749
00:43:36,750 --> 00:43:38,452
- Here.
- What is this?
750
00:43:38,587 --> 00:43:40,254
Boots for the jungle.
751
00:43:41,088 --> 00:43:42,890
It's not exactly
hiking boots, but...
752
00:43:43,023 --> 00:43:45,626
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
753
00:43:45,759 --> 00:43:48,162
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
754
00:43:48,929 --> 00:43:50,965
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
755
00:43:51,098 --> 00:43:52,867
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
756
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,802
- Oh, my God.
- You got to stay hydrated.
757
00:43:54,935 --> 00:43:56,804
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
758
00:43:56,937 --> 00:43:58,973
so we'll definitely
hold onto it and recycle.
759
00:44:01,510 --> 00:44:06,180
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
760
00:44:06,313 --> 00:44:09,183
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
761
00:44:09,316 --> 00:44:12,820
Uh... This...
This is the rescue.
762
00:44:12,953 --> 00:44:14,188
No one else is coming.
763
00:44:14,321 --> 00:44:16,290
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
764
00:44:16,423 --> 00:44:19,326
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
765
00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:21,128
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
766
00:44:21,262 --> 00:44:25,466
So, our best bet is to get to the airport.
See this road right here?
767
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,302
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
768
00:44:28,435 --> 00:44:30,304
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
769
00:44:30,437 --> 00:44:31,939
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
770
00:44:32,072 --> 00:44:34,576
- Uh-huh.
- You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
771
00:44:34,708 --> 00:44:36,076
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
772
00:44:36,210 --> 00:44:38,479
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
773
00:44:38,613 --> 00:44:41,916
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
774
00:44:42,049 --> 00:44:43,951
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
775
00:44:44,084 --> 00:44:45,419
We're gonna go
through the jungle,
776
00:44:45,554 --> 00:44:47,622
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
777
00:44:47,755 --> 00:44:50,758
- so you can have your cake and get what you want.
- "And eat it too"?
778
00:44:50,891 --> 00:44:53,294
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
779
00:44:53,427 --> 00:44:55,329
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
780
00:44:55,462 --> 00:44:57,831
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
781
00:44:57,965 --> 00:45:00,167
You could give it
to someone as a gift.
782
00:45:00,301 --> 00:45:02,504
Those people
are still going to eat the cake.
783
00:45:02,637 --> 00:45:04,205
Everybody eats cake.
784
00:45:04,338 --> 00:45:06,073
What about the kind
people jump out of?
785
00:45:06,207 --> 00:45:09,176
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my God.
786
00:45:35,469 --> 00:45:37,037
What did they
kidnap you for anyhow?
787
00:45:37,171 --> 00:45:39,006
Is it some weird sex stuff
like Taken?
788
00:45:39,139 --> 00:45:40,642
Oh, my God, thank you.
789
00:45:40,774 --> 00:45:43,511
I thought so too,
but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
790
00:45:43,645 --> 00:45:45,412
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
791
00:45:45,547 --> 00:45:48,949
The really odd one that had the vlog
on finding Montezuma's treasure.
792
00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:51,485
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
793
00:45:51,620 --> 00:45:53,387
Yes,
he's looking for the Crown of Fire.
794
00:45:53,521 --> 00:45:57,391
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
795
00:45:57,525 --> 00:46:00,861
- So those ruins were...
- They were the Lost City of D, yes.
796
00:46:00,995 --> 00:46:03,330
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh.
797
00:46:03,464 --> 00:46:04,865
This is like your book.
798
00:46:04,999 --> 00:46:07,801
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
799
00:46:07,935 --> 00:46:09,903
What is that?
800
00:46:10,037 --> 00:46:12,507
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
801
00:46:12,641 --> 00:46:13,974
He won't. He won't.
802
00:46:16,176 --> 00:46:17,244
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
803
00:46:17,378 --> 00:46:19,380
Oh, oh, oh.
804
00:46:22,416 --> 00:46:24,552
Okay, uh, we need
to get in the water.
805
00:46:24,686 --> 00:46:26,755
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
806
00:46:26,887 --> 00:46:28,657
No, no,
I don't really do water.
807
00:46:28,789 --> 00:46:31,125
What do you mean, "do water"?
I'm not asking you to procreate with it.
808
00:46:31,258 --> 00:46:33,662
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
809
00:46:33,794 --> 00:46:36,163
How do you feel about dying? Oh, God.
810
00:46:36,297 --> 00:46:38,132
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
811
00:46:38,265 --> 00:46:41,068
- I got you. Fine.
- I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much.
812
00:46:41,201 --> 00:46:43,237
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
813
00:46:43,370 --> 00:46:45,306
No, we have to stay
in the water.
814
00:46:45,439 --> 00:46:47,875
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
815
00:46:48,008 --> 00:46:49,977
They'll lose our tracks
in the water.
816
00:46:50,110 --> 00:46:52,880
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
817
00:46:53,013 --> 00:46:54,982
Just go around it.
818
00:47:23,778 --> 00:47:25,245
Okay, I think...
819
00:47:25,379 --> 00:47:27,247
I think
we lost them, right?
820
00:47:27,381 --> 00:47:30,384
Yeah. That wasn't so bad.
Yeah.
821
00:47:30,518 --> 00:47:32,119
Okay, uh...
822
00:47:32,252 --> 00:47:34,656
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
823
00:47:34,789 --> 00:47:35,989
- Just don't panic.
- No.
824
00:47:36,123 --> 00:47:37,858
Stop saying "panic."
I'm panicking now.
825
00:47:37,991 --> 00:47:39,860
You have something
on your back.
826
00:47:41,362 --> 00:47:42,129
No!
827
00:47:42,262 --> 00:47:43,732
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
828
00:47:43,864 --> 00:47:45,065
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
829
00:47:45,199 --> 00:47:46,634
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
830
00:47:46,768 --> 00:47:48,168
Why don't you have any
on you?
831
00:47:48,302 --> 00:47:50,070
Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off.
I don't know.
832
00:47:50,204 --> 00:47:51,673
- Get 'em off.
- Oh, my God.
833
00:47:51,806 --> 00:47:54,308
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
834
00:47:54,441 --> 00:47:55,810
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
835
00:47:55,943 --> 00:47:57,277
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
836
00:47:57,411 --> 00:47:59,279
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
837
00:47:59,413 --> 00:48:01,448
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
838
00:48:01,583 --> 00:48:03,585
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
839
00:48:03,718 --> 00:48:06,821
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
840
00:48:08,489 --> 00:48:10,759
Don't make that sound.
841
00:48:14,361 --> 00:48:15,830
How many of them are there?
842
00:48:15,963 --> 00:48:17,431
Oh, there's not many.
843
00:48:17,565 --> 00:48:19,567
- It feels like there's so many.
- What are you...
844
00:48:19,701 --> 00:48:20,968
- I feel so many.
- Oh!
845
00:48:21,101 --> 00:48:23,605
- Holy mother of God!
- Why are you praying?
846
00:48:23,738 --> 00:48:26,775
Is it that bad? It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
847
00:48:26,907 --> 00:48:28,108
It's not great.
848
00:48:28,242 --> 00:48:29,844
They're gonna suck
every bit of me out.
849
00:48:29,977 --> 00:48:32,647
Just please stop speaking.
I just need to... need to get low.
850
00:48:32,781 --> 00:48:34,448
Hold on a second.
851
00:48:34,582 --> 00:48:37,351
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
852
00:48:37,484 --> 00:48:40,320
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
853
00:48:40,454 --> 00:48:42,423
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
854
00:48:42,557 --> 00:48:46,561
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
855
00:48:46,694 --> 00:48:49,463
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
856
00:48:49,597 --> 00:48:51,198
Why are they all
on my butt though?
857
00:48:51,331 --> 00:48:53,934
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
858
00:48:54,067 --> 00:48:55,703
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
859
00:48:55,837 --> 00:48:57,371
Why do you go to food
right now?
860
00:48:57,505 --> 00:49:00,340
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
861
00:49:00,474 --> 00:49:02,811
Think you're good.
I need to just check your front.
862
00:49:02,943 --> 00:49:05,212
Okay. I can't look.
863
00:49:07,448 --> 00:49:08,716
Is it bad?
864
00:49:08,850 --> 00:49:11,920
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
865
00:49:12,052 --> 00:49:15,389
I mean, you expect it to,
you know, not...
866
00:49:15,523 --> 00:49:18,225
Then suddenly there it is,
and it is, uh...
867
00:49:18,358 --> 00:49:20,562
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
868
00:49:20,695 --> 00:49:23,297
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
869
00:49:23,430 --> 00:49:25,733
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
870
00:49:25,867 --> 00:49:27,434
but they don't know, right?
871
00:49:27,569 --> 00:49:30,003
They don't,
until suddenly they do know,
872
00:49:30,137 --> 00:49:34,441
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
873
00:49:34,576 --> 00:49:36,410
Just...
Do I have any leeches or not?
874
00:49:36,544 --> 00:49:40,648
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
875
00:49:40,782 --> 00:49:41,850
What?
876
00:49:41,982 --> 00:49:44,184
No, you're good.
You're good.
877
00:49:45,285 --> 00:49:46,987
We were so brave just then.
878
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,389
Why do they go for the butt
so much?
879
00:50:10,645 --> 00:50:13,480
What's that song
you're singing?
880
00:50:13,615 --> 00:50:16,651
A song my abbi used to sing
to me when I was a kid.
881
00:50:17,585 --> 00:50:20,254
- "If you suck life from the island...
- Yeah?
882
00:50:20,387 --> 00:50:23,156
...the island
will suck of you."
883
00:50:23,290 --> 00:50:27,194
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
884
00:50:27,327 --> 00:50:29,697
It doesn't translate
super well.
885
00:50:30,565 --> 00:50:33,367
Is phantom leech syndrome,
like, a thing?
886
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:35,537
They don't lay eggs,
do they?
887
00:51:24,652 --> 00:51:25,853
Queen Taha?
888
00:51:39,433 --> 00:51:43,838
"King Kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
889
00:51:44,739 --> 00:51:48,375
laid to rest
in the well of endless tears.
890
00:51:48,509 --> 00:51:50,410
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
891
00:51:50,545 --> 00:51:52,479
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
892
00:51:53,146 --> 00:51:54,816
You gave me
a heart attack.
893
00:51:55,482 --> 00:51:57,150
Where'd you go?
894
00:52:01,221 --> 00:52:02,724
What is this?
895
00:52:02,857 --> 00:52:06,126
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
896
00:52:08,663 --> 00:52:11,298
Can you imagine
being right here,
897
00:52:11,431 --> 00:52:14,068
right in this very spot
back then?
898
00:52:14,201 --> 00:52:15,870
The stories
that they told?
899
00:52:16,004 --> 00:52:18,806
So much history I'm sure
happened right here.
900
00:52:24,144 --> 00:52:25,479
They've got us cornered.
901
00:52:25,613 --> 00:52:27,247
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
902
00:52:27,381 --> 00:52:30,484
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
903
00:52:30,618 --> 00:52:33,554
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
904
00:52:33,688 --> 00:52:37,257
Oh! I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
905
00:52:37,391 --> 00:52:38,425
No, you're not.
You're beautiful.
906
00:52:38,559 --> 00:52:40,193
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
907
00:52:40,327 --> 00:52:42,162
I said I'm too old
to be doing this.
908
00:52:42,295 --> 00:52:45,900
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
909
00:52:46,034 --> 00:52:48,435
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
910
00:52:48,569 --> 00:52:50,437
You brought me
these shoes.
911
00:52:50,571 --> 00:52:53,107
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
912
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:54,942
I'm not doing
so great here.
913
00:52:55,076 --> 00:52:56,376
You got it. Come on.
914
00:52:56,511 --> 00:52:58,378
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
915
00:52:58,513 --> 00:52:59,747
but you have to keep going.
916
00:52:59,881 --> 00:53:01,816
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
917
00:53:02,583 --> 00:53:03,985
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
918
00:53:04,118 --> 00:53:05,853
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
919
00:53:05,987 --> 00:53:07,922
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
920
00:53:08,056 --> 00:53:09,189
I don't smell anything!
921
00:53:12,627 --> 00:53:15,863
Take a big, deep breath.
922
00:53:15,997 --> 00:53:17,264
All right.
923
00:53:17,397 --> 00:53:18,966
- Good job.
- Okay.
924
00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:22,704
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
925
00:53:22,837 --> 00:53:25,305
Here we go. I'm gonna help you
out a little bit, all right?
926
00:53:25,439 --> 00:53:27,508
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
927
00:53:27,642 --> 00:53:28,976
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
928
00:53:29,110 --> 00:53:31,145
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
929
00:53:31,278 --> 00:53:34,214
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving and ride the head.
930
00:53:34,347 --> 00:53:35,616
- Oh, God.
- You're doing great.
931
00:53:35,750 --> 00:53:38,452
Sorry about the scratchy haircut.
Come on.
932
00:53:58,438 --> 00:54:00,742
Dulcius ex asperis.
933
00:54:01,241 --> 00:54:02,677
What was that?
934
00:54:02,810 --> 00:54:04,311
Oh, nothing.
935
00:54:04,444 --> 00:54:06,614
It was just something
that John and I would say
936
00:54:06,748 --> 00:54:09,851
after we finished
something big, like a...
937
00:54:09,984 --> 00:54:11,919
like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
938
00:54:12,053 --> 00:54:15,388
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
939
00:54:16,524 --> 00:54:17,892
What's...
940
00:54:18,025 --> 00:54:19,894
What's Latin
for "Loretta's a badass"?
941
00:54:20,027 --> 00:54:24,498
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
942
00:54:24,632 --> 00:54:27,568
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
943
00:54:27,702 --> 00:54:30,505
- Oh, God. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
944
00:54:30,638 --> 00:54:34,108
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
945
00:54:34,242 --> 00:54:37,277
I get that you think you have
to go to the island authorities yourself,
946
00:54:37,410 --> 00:54:40,815
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
947
00:54:40,948 --> 00:54:43,316
Just tweeted,
"Did I just get kidnapped?
948
00:54:43,450 --> 00:54:46,921
#FML, @ShawnMendes,
#ShawnMendes."
949
00:54:47,054 --> 00:54:48,689
And you're traveling alone?
950
00:54:48,823 --> 00:54:51,692
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
951
00:54:52,260 --> 00:54:53,426
Then this might work.
952
00:54:53,561 --> 00:54:55,328
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
953
00:54:55,462 --> 00:54:58,933
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
954
00:54:59,066 --> 00:55:00,134
A what?
955
00:55:01,035 --> 00:55:02,502
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
956
00:55:02,637 --> 00:55:03,805
That's fine. I'll take it.
957
00:55:03,938 --> 00:55:06,007
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
958
00:55:13,848 --> 00:55:16,316
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
959
00:55:16,449 --> 00:55:17,952
What's in here?
What's in your bag?
960
00:55:18,085 --> 00:55:19,921
- Uh...
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
961
00:55:20,054 --> 00:55:21,454
What are you doing?
962
00:55:21,589 --> 00:55:23,456
Okay. Face masks.
963
00:55:23,591 --> 00:55:24,926
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
964
00:55:25,059 --> 00:55:27,028
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
965
00:55:27,161 --> 00:55:28,395
My mom gave me that.
966
00:55:28,529 --> 00:55:30,031
It was like a weird gift
for Mother's Day.
967
00:55:30,164 --> 00:55:32,499
Your mom gives you gifts
for Mother's Day?
968
00:55:33,768 --> 00:55:34,569
Noir...
969
00:55:34,702 --> 00:55:36,704
Eucalyptus rosemary oil.
Ooh.
970
00:55:37,271 --> 00:55:38,506
Oh, that smells good.
971
00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:40,808
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
972
00:55:40,942 --> 00:55:42,510
Whoo! Yes!
973
00:55:42,643 --> 00:55:45,046
Yes, I made fire!
974
00:55:45,179 --> 00:55:48,716
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
975
00:55:48,850 --> 00:55:50,751
Who would have thought?
976
00:55:50,885 --> 00:55:53,386
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
977
00:55:54,487 --> 00:55:56,423
That looks
really uncomfortable.
978
00:55:56,557 --> 00:55:58,425
Are you okay? The back?
979
00:55:58,559 --> 00:56:02,597
Yeah. That is why
I don't do water.
980
00:56:02,730 --> 00:56:05,032
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
981
00:56:05,166 --> 00:56:08,002
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
982
00:56:08,135 --> 00:56:09,971
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
983
00:56:10,104 --> 00:56:12,173
It was in a little,
tiny little bottle.
984
00:56:12,306 --> 00:56:14,242
It was this. I'm sorry.
985
00:56:14,374 --> 00:56:16,376
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
986
00:56:16,510 --> 00:56:17,812
It's okay.
987
00:56:17,945 --> 00:56:20,248
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
988
00:56:20,380 --> 00:56:22,750
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
989
00:56:22,884 --> 00:56:24,352
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
990
00:56:24,484 --> 00:56:25,720
Yeah.
991
00:56:26,921 --> 00:56:28,455
Okay.
992
00:56:28,589 --> 00:56:30,490
Oh, no, you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
993
00:56:30,625 --> 00:56:32,560
I touched
your engorged sacks, so...
994
00:56:34,795 --> 00:56:36,496
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
995
00:56:36,631 --> 00:56:39,466
Okay, this might be
a little bit cold.
996
00:56:40,635 --> 00:56:42,336
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
997
00:56:42,469 --> 00:56:43,704
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
998
00:56:43,838 --> 00:56:45,773
Maybe this is how
Dash should die.
999
00:56:45,907 --> 00:56:48,910
Horrible eczema outbreak.
That's so sexy.
1000
00:56:49,043 --> 00:56:50,611
I could make it work.
1001
00:56:51,045 --> 00:56:52,079
Yeah?
1002
00:56:52,713 --> 00:56:54,181
All right, then.
1003
00:56:55,383 --> 00:56:57,084
How would you write this?
1004
00:56:57,218 --> 00:56:58,719
Okay.
1005
00:57:00,588 --> 00:57:03,858
"Warmed
by the fragrant fire..."
1006
00:57:03,991 --> 00:57:06,426
Mm-hmm.
1007
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,428
- Starting strong.
- Mm-hmm.
1008
00:57:08,562 --> 00:57:11,732
"Lovemore's hands
explored the...
1009
00:57:13,466 --> 00:57:15,937
the contoured scenery
1010
00:57:16,070 --> 00:57:17,672
of Dash's body.
1011
00:57:19,774 --> 00:57:22,442
Familiar terrain made
1012
00:57:22,576 --> 00:57:24,946
new and exciting
with every...
1013
00:57:25,846 --> 00:57:28,215
with every scarlet rim."
1014
00:57:29,317 --> 00:57:31,018
And that didn't, uh...
1015
00:57:31,819 --> 00:57:33,321
didn't turn her off?
1016
00:57:33,453 --> 00:57:34,689
No.
1017
00:57:35,488 --> 00:57:37,325
"Because with every
cardinal ridge,
1018
00:57:38,326 --> 00:57:40,695
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1019
00:57:40,828 --> 00:57:42,997
that only their bodies spoke."
1020
00:57:43,898 --> 00:57:46,067
And what were
their bodies saying?
1021
00:57:48,035 --> 00:57:49,570
"Take me...
1022
00:57:51,471 --> 00:57:53,107
take me,
1023
00:57:53,674 --> 00:57:55,276
take me."
1024
00:57:55,409 --> 00:57:56,744
How's that?
1025
00:57:57,545 --> 00:57:58,779
It was good.
1026
00:57:58,913 --> 00:58:00,614
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1027
00:58:00,748 --> 00:58:02,116
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1028
00:58:02,249 --> 00:58:06,854
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1029
00:58:15,129 --> 00:58:16,163
Supplies.
1030
00:58:18,265 --> 00:58:22,536
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1031
00:58:22,670 --> 00:58:23,838
- Okay.
- You good?
1032
00:58:23,971 --> 00:58:26,607
Yeah, I'm fire... fine.
I'm fine.
1033
00:58:26,741 --> 00:58:29,710
I'm not "fire."
I'm fine by the fire.
1034
00:58:30,378 --> 00:58:32,113
Okay. All right.
1035
00:58:39,987 --> 00:58:43,257
Uh, it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1036
00:58:43,391 --> 00:58:47,661
maybe we could probably both fit in
here, if you wanted to.
1037
00:58:48,329 --> 00:58:49,997
Both of us?
1038
00:58:50,131 --> 00:58:53,167
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1039
00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:54,735
Uh...
1040
00:58:54,869 --> 00:58:56,137
Okay. How do you...
1041
00:58:56,270 --> 00:58:58,205
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1042
00:58:58,339 --> 00:59:01,442
No, no, you go. It's definitely a
"ladies first" type of situation.
1043
00:59:01,575 --> 00:59:04,211
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1044
00:59:04,345 --> 00:59:05,980
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1045
00:59:06,113 --> 00:59:09,417
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1046
00:59:09,550 --> 00:59:12,253
I sit first?
Okay. I'm in.
1047
00:59:13,687 --> 00:59:16,323
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1048
00:59:16,457 --> 00:59:19,126
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1049
00:59:19,260 --> 00:59:22,463
Why is this engaging
my core so much?
1050
00:59:23,230 --> 00:59:25,099
How 'bout you shimmy?
1051
00:59:25,232 --> 00:59:27,334
- I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1052
00:59:27,468 --> 00:59:28,803
My face.
1053
00:59:29,370 --> 00:59:30,571
Yeah. Okay.
1054
00:59:33,707 --> 00:59:35,176
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1055
00:59:35,309 --> 00:59:36,343
Okay.
1056
01:00:07,576 --> 01:00:09,143
Well!
1057
01:00:09,276 --> 01:00:10,377
Come on.
1058
01:00:10,512 --> 01:00:12,113
Come on! Let's hear it!
1059
01:00:12,246 --> 01:00:15,716
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1060
01:00:15,850 --> 01:00:17,418
She earned it.
1061
01:00:17,552 --> 01:00:21,455
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1062
01:00:21,590 --> 01:00:22,923
Good job, Loretta.
1063
01:00:23,057 --> 01:00:25,560
Boss, come on.
People are dying now.
1064
01:00:25,693 --> 01:00:29,363
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1065
01:00:30,599 --> 01:00:32,266
Is it really worth it?
1066
01:00:32,399 --> 01:00:35,769
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1067
01:00:35,903 --> 01:00:38,873
Something singular,
something no nation,
1068
01:00:39,006 --> 01:00:42,577
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers ever have.
1069
01:00:42,710 --> 01:00:45,813
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1070
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:47,348
So, yes.
1071
01:00:47,481 --> 01:00:49,783
Yes, I would definitely say
it's worth it.
1072
01:00:59,528 --> 01:01:00,995
Excuse me!
1073
01:01:01,128 --> 01:01:04,064
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1074
01:01:04,198 --> 01:01:05,466
No flight.
1075
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:08,135
The pilot is sick.
Come tomorrow.
1076
01:01:08,269 --> 01:01:10,371
No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1077
01:01:10,505 --> 01:01:15,242
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1078
01:01:15,376 --> 01:01:16,877
Come tomorrow.
1079
01:01:20,681 --> 01:01:22,316
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1080
01:01:22,449 --> 01:01:26,555
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1081
01:01:26,687 --> 01:01:29,924
Okay, this is
a little bit crazy,
1082
01:01:30,057 --> 01:01:31,859
but I also like steak.
1083
01:01:31,992 --> 01:01:34,261
- What?
- I also like steak.
1084
01:01:34,395 --> 01:01:37,831
Would you like to, maybe,
I don't know...
1085
01:01:37,965 --> 01:01:40,768
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1086
01:01:40,901 --> 01:01:42,637
I need to go
to the island tonight.
1087
01:01:42,770 --> 01:01:44,138
- Ah.
- Yes.
1088
01:01:44,271 --> 01:01:45,806
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1089
01:01:45,940 --> 01:01:48,943
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1090
01:01:49,076 --> 01:01:51,011
I have a cargo plane.
1091
01:01:52,146 --> 01:01:55,816
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1092
01:01:55,950 --> 01:01:58,719
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1093
01:01:58,852 --> 01:02:00,689
Have you ever
murdered anyone before?
1094
01:02:00,821 --> 01:02:04,158
No!
1095
01:02:07,629 --> 01:02:10,331
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1096
01:02:10,464 --> 01:02:14,703
If you ever think about murdering me,
I promise, I will murder you first.
1097
01:02:14,835 --> 01:02:16,136
My pleasure.
1098
01:02:16,270 --> 01:02:18,439
You are weird. Let's go.
1099
01:03:13,794 --> 01:03:17,264
"King Kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1100
01:03:17,831 --> 01:03:19,333
of endless tears."
1101
01:03:21,001 --> 01:03:22,202
What is that?
1102
01:03:23,337 --> 01:03:26,775
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1103
01:03:26,907 --> 01:03:29,109
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1104
01:03:29,243 --> 01:03:33,013
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1105
01:03:33,147 --> 01:03:36,950
Okay.
It's what you think it is.
1106
01:03:37,084 --> 01:03:38,485
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1107
01:03:38,620 --> 01:03:41,388
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1108
01:03:41,523 --> 01:03:42,489
What were you thinking?
1109
01:03:42,624 --> 01:03:44,559
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1110
01:03:44,693 --> 01:03:48,228
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1111
01:03:48,362 --> 01:03:50,264
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1112
01:03:50,397 --> 01:03:52,900
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1113
01:03:53,033 --> 01:03:54,401
Why would I tell you?
1114
01:03:54,536 --> 01:03:56,270
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1115
01:03:56,403 --> 01:03:58,072
You know you're not Dash,
right?
1116
01:03:58,205 --> 01:04:00,407
You don't ride in on a white
horse to rescue people.
1117
01:04:00,542 --> 01:04:04,912
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1118
01:04:05,045 --> 01:04:06,447
which is great for you.
1119
01:04:06,581 --> 01:04:09,216
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1120
01:04:09,350 --> 01:04:12,252
I know you. You're
a pretty open book, Alan.
1121
01:04:12,386 --> 01:04:14,188
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1122
01:04:14,321 --> 01:04:15,356
Yeah.
1123
01:04:17,391 --> 01:04:19,561
O... Okay, uh...
1124
01:04:19,694 --> 01:04:22,764
You were a homecoming king and you
coasted on your good looks to LA,
1125
01:04:22,896 --> 01:04:25,399
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1126
01:04:25,533 --> 01:04:27,234
doesn't mean
you're going to be a star.
1127
01:04:27,368 --> 01:04:29,136
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1128
01:04:29,269 --> 01:04:32,873
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1129
01:04:33,006 --> 01:04:34,875
uh, chose you at random
to be on the cover.
1130
01:04:35,008 --> 01:04:38,445
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were a smashing success.
1131
01:04:38,580 --> 01:04:41,549
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing,
1132
01:04:41,683 --> 01:04:47,121
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1133
01:04:47,254 --> 01:04:51,325
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1134
01:04:51,458 --> 01:04:55,295
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1135
01:04:55,429 --> 01:04:56,463
Right?
1136
01:04:57,799 --> 01:04:59,133
Mm-hmm.
1137
01:05:10,411 --> 01:05:12,179
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1138
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:14,214
It's not nowhere.
1139
01:05:14,348 --> 01:05:16,584
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1140
01:05:16,718 --> 01:05:17,752
And yeah...
1141
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,388
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1142
01:05:21,523 --> 01:05:23,424
It was the only job
that I could think of
1143
01:05:23,558 --> 01:05:26,795
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1144
01:05:26,927 --> 01:05:28,195
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1145
01:05:28,328 --> 01:05:31,031
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1146
01:05:31,165 --> 01:05:34,067
And I was so embarrassed that one
of my friends might've seen me
1147
01:05:34,201 --> 01:05:36,303
in that wig
on the cover of your book
1148
01:05:36,437 --> 01:05:39,139
that I avoided talking to them
for months.
1149
01:05:40,107 --> 01:05:41,609
And then one day,
1150
01:05:42,309 --> 01:05:44,144
I'm walking home,
1151
01:05:44,278 --> 01:05:47,047
and I hear this lady yell,
"Dash!"
1152
01:05:47,181 --> 01:05:49,651
She runs up,
and she is so happy.
1153
01:05:49,784 --> 01:05:53,521
Then I thought,
"How could I be this embarrassed
1154
01:05:53,655 --> 01:05:56,323
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1155
01:05:59,627 --> 01:06:01,295
Loretta, you can do
whatever you want.
1156
01:06:01,428 --> 01:06:03,497
If you don't want to write
anymore, don't write.
1157
01:06:03,631 --> 01:06:08,101
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1158
01:06:08,235 --> 01:06:10,839
That's not fair to them.
1159
01:06:12,005 --> 01:06:14,909
You know what's ironic?
I thought you of all people would know
1160
01:06:15,042 --> 01:06:17,512
not to judge a book
by its cover.
1161
01:06:21,549 --> 01:06:24,151
Judge a book
by its cover model.
1162
01:06:55,617 --> 01:06:56,718
Alan?
1163
01:06:56,851 --> 01:06:58,151
Alan.
1164
01:07:10,130 --> 01:07:11,498
There's two of them.
1165
01:07:17,605 --> 01:07:20,340
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1166
01:07:21,375 --> 01:07:24,411
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1167
01:07:24,546 --> 01:07:26,681
Come on, this way!
1168
01:07:26,814 --> 01:07:28,448
Stop shooting!
1169
01:07:33,655 --> 01:07:35,590
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1170
01:07:35,723 --> 01:07:38,358
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1171
01:07:38,492 --> 01:07:40,762
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1172
01:07:40,895 --> 01:07:42,864
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1173
01:07:42,997 --> 01:07:45,465
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1174
01:07:45,600 --> 01:07:46,634
I have an idea.
1175
01:07:46,768 --> 01:07:48,235
We're gonna dig a hole,
throw our voices.
1176
01:07:48,368 --> 01:07:50,270
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1177
01:07:50,404 --> 01:07:52,674
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1178
01:07:52,807 --> 01:07:56,376
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1179
01:07:56,511 --> 01:08:00,147
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1180
01:08:00,280 --> 01:08:02,550
No. No, no, no.
They're shooting only at you.
1181
01:08:02,684 --> 01:08:05,152
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1182
01:08:05,285 --> 01:08:09,156
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1183
01:08:09,289 --> 01:08:11,926
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1184
01:08:12,060 --> 01:08:14,261
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1185
01:08:14,394 --> 01:08:17,464
- That's supremely sexist.
- Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields
1186
01:08:17,599 --> 01:08:20,334
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1187
01:08:20,467 --> 01:08:23,236
- Gloria Steinem?
- Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
1188
01:08:23,370 --> 01:08:26,440
- Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
- Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1189
01:08:26,574 --> 01:08:28,643
I can't mansplain anything.
1190
01:08:28,776 --> 01:08:33,447
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1191
01:08:33,581 --> 01:08:36,017
- We just need to stay here until they get tired.
- I have an idea.
1192
01:08:36,149 --> 01:08:37,819
- Please can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1193
01:08:37,952 --> 01:08:41,254
This is not a situation you can get
out of by ripping your shirt off.
1194
01:08:41,388 --> 01:08:43,357
Not my shirt.
1195
01:09:14,756 --> 01:09:16,024
Three!
1196
01:09:16,156 --> 01:09:17,759
- Yes!
- Oh!
1197
01:09:21,863 --> 01:09:23,698
Oh.
1198
01:09:23,831 --> 01:09:27,035
That was different
than I had in my head.
1199
01:09:27,167 --> 01:09:31,238
- I just wanted us to stop them.
- Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
1200
01:09:31,371 --> 01:09:33,440
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1201
01:09:33,574 --> 01:09:35,943
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like...
1202
01:09:36,077 --> 01:09:39,413
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1203
01:09:39,547 --> 01:09:41,649
So, that was...
that one was on him.
1204
01:09:41,783 --> 01:09:44,619
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1205
01:09:44,752 --> 01:09:46,453
Why are you gonna stop
next to a cliff?
1206
01:09:46,587 --> 01:09:48,990
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1207
01:09:49,123 --> 01:09:51,291
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1208
01:09:51,425 --> 01:09:52,627
So there'd just be a head.
1209
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:55,029
They were driving
recklessly, right?
1210
01:09:55,163 --> 01:09:56,898
Don't be mean on a bike.
1211
01:09:57,565 --> 01:09:59,332
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1212
01:10:03,137 --> 01:10:05,338
I mean,
perhaps they're fine.
1213
01:10:05,472 --> 01:10:07,842
Yeah, probably not.
But that's okay.
1214
01:10:07,975 --> 01:10:12,279
That's all right.
You know, things happen. Let's go.
1215
01:10:14,481 --> 01:10:17,685
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1216
01:10:30,497 --> 01:10:32,834
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1217
01:10:33,601 --> 01:10:35,703
What more can I do,
you know?
1218
01:10:35,837 --> 01:10:37,739
You've done so much already,
Beth.
1219
01:10:37,872 --> 01:10:40,875
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1220
01:10:41,008 --> 01:10:43,711
The book release
is a complete disaster,
1221
01:10:43,845 --> 01:10:45,479
which I've leveraged
everything on,
1222
01:10:45,613 --> 01:10:47,915
so I'm probably,
most definitely broke right now.
1223
01:10:48,049 --> 01:10:51,284
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1224
01:10:51,418 --> 01:10:52,920
Who does that?
Who loses a writer?
1225
01:10:53,054 --> 01:10:57,491
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1226
01:10:57,625 --> 01:11:00,128
Always looking out
for other people,
1227
01:11:00,260 --> 01:11:02,630
never taking care of herself.
1228
01:11:03,598 --> 01:11:05,066
Isn't that right, Randy?
1229
01:11:07,535 --> 01:11:09,369
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1230
01:11:09,503 --> 01:11:11,572
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1231
01:11:11,706 --> 01:11:13,708
After you take care
of your friend,
1232
01:11:14,575 --> 01:11:15,877
how about we go to a beach?
1233
01:11:16,010 --> 01:11:18,478
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1234
01:11:18,613 --> 01:11:20,548
She doesn't have to come.
1235
01:11:20,681 --> 01:11:23,450
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1236
01:11:23,584 --> 01:11:25,620
She's hilarious.
1237
01:11:26,386 --> 01:11:28,156
Let me ask you something.
1238
01:11:28,288 --> 01:11:30,423
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1239
01:11:30,558 --> 01:11:32,492
- Autopilot.
- What?
1240
01:11:32,627 --> 01:11:35,328
Sir, go to the cockpit,
fly the plane.
1241
01:11:35,763 --> 01:11:36,798
Okay.
1242
01:11:37,532 --> 01:11:39,267
I'm going to
go land the plane.
1243
01:11:39,399 --> 01:11:40,802
Okay.
1244
01:11:40,935 --> 01:11:42,804
No, no, no. Take the goat.
Please, take the goat.
1245
01:11:42,937 --> 01:11:45,640
She's on break.
Enjoy the flight!
1246
01:12:21,008 --> 01:12:22,342
- Hi.
- Hola.
1247
01:12:26,781 --> 01:12:29,449
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1248
01:12:31,586 --> 01:12:34,922
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1249
01:12:35,056 --> 01:12:37,925
Uh, hi, Beth.
1250
01:12:38,059 --> 01:12:39,026
It's me.
1251
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:40,995
Uh, I'm alive!
1252
01:12:41,696 --> 01:12:43,764
Uh, listen, um...
1253
01:12:45,066 --> 01:12:46,100
Uh...
1254
01:12:47,535 --> 01:12:51,606
I'm sorry that I
blew up the book tour.
1255
01:12:51,739 --> 01:12:53,440
Um...
1256
01:12:53,574 --> 01:12:55,910
I was just afraid
1257
01:12:57,011 --> 01:12:58,646
and selfish. Uh...
1258
01:12:58,779 --> 01:13:01,481
Oh, here comes Alan.
I'll call you back.
1259
01:13:04,685 --> 01:13:07,688
So, uh, police
are searching for Fairfax,
1260
01:13:07,822 --> 01:13:10,258
and they're gonna provide us
protection while we're here.
1261
01:13:10,390 --> 01:13:12,159
Did they say
how long we'd be here?
1262
01:13:12,293 --> 01:13:14,929
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1263
01:13:15,062 --> 01:13:17,231
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1264
01:13:17,365 --> 01:13:19,967
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1265
01:13:20,101 --> 01:13:21,501
Okay.
1266
01:13:24,939 --> 01:13:26,507
Okay. Yeah.
1267
01:14:19,293 --> 01:14:20,761
Thank you.
1268
01:14:21,329 --> 01:14:24,532
Come on.
1269
01:14:24,665 --> 01:14:25,866
Dance with your husband.
1270
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,768
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1271
01:14:27,902 --> 01:14:29,570
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1272
01:14:29,704 --> 01:14:32,173
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1273
01:14:32,306 --> 01:14:34,809
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1274
01:14:34,942 --> 01:14:37,178
You don't have to do this.
1275
01:14:37,311 --> 01:14:39,080
It's okay. It's okay.
1276
01:14:39,947 --> 01:14:40,982
Yeah?
1277
01:15:59,528 --> 01:16:01,195
I wonder
what she's saying.
1278
01:16:03,597 --> 01:16:05,166
It's folklore.
1279
01:16:06,500 --> 01:16:08,469
Love song about a woman
1280
01:16:08,602 --> 01:16:11,972
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to leave his side.
1281
01:16:12,873 --> 01:16:15,876
So she laid down
and refused to get up.
1282
01:16:16,444 --> 01:16:18,145
Must be scary.
1283
01:16:18,279 --> 01:16:22,216
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1284
01:16:34,563 --> 01:16:36,130
What was that?
1285
01:16:38,232 --> 01:16:41,869
Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um...
the last line that you sang.
1286
01:16:42,002 --> 01:16:44,338
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1287
01:16:47,274 --> 01:16:50,077
"The island will weep for
me in the well of endless tears."
1288
01:16:50,211 --> 01:16:53,614
What is that, the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1289
01:16:53,747 --> 01:16:55,282
Sinkhole place.
1290
01:16:57,084 --> 01:16:58,786
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1291
01:16:58,919 --> 01:17:01,021
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1292
01:17:02,623 --> 01:17:04,391
Hey, on the parchment,
it said,
1293
01:17:04,526 --> 01:17:08,597
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1294
01:17:08,729 --> 01:17:10,865
I thought
maybe it was a metaphor.
1295
01:17:11,298 --> 01:17:12,867
It's not.
1296
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,836
The Well of Endless Tears
is a place.
1297
01:17:15,970 --> 01:17:17,938
It's a sinkhole.
1298
01:17:18,072 --> 01:17:20,307
There's a sinkhole
on the map.
1299
01:17:21,642 --> 01:17:23,344
I think the tomb is there.
1300
01:17:23,477 --> 01:17:25,846
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1301
01:17:25,980 --> 01:17:27,414
There's like...
No, I don't mean any offense.
1302
01:17:27,549 --> 01:17:29,416
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1303
01:17:29,551 --> 01:17:31,752
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1304
01:17:31,886 --> 01:17:33,687
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1305
01:17:33,821 --> 01:17:36,891
That would be insane. That would be insane.
I just... I just...
1306
01:17:37,024 --> 01:17:41,428
It's just that we're so close to
it, but, you know, we can't...
1307
01:17:41,563 --> 01:17:42,830
No.
1308
01:17:42,963 --> 01:17:45,666
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1309
01:17:46,433 --> 01:17:48,736
I'd like to know
that it's there,
1310
01:17:48,869 --> 01:17:50,504
that all this
meant something.
1311
01:17:50,639 --> 01:17:52,439
Okay. Then let's go.
1312
01:17:52,574 --> 01:17:54,441
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1313
01:17:54,576 --> 01:17:56,243
we're gonna go find
the Well of Endless Tears.
1314
01:17:56,377 --> 01:17:59,246
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1315
01:17:59,380 --> 01:18:00,549
And Fairfax?
1316
01:18:00,681 --> 01:18:03,150
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1317
01:18:04,218 --> 01:18:04,985
This is crazy.
1318
01:18:05,119 --> 01:18:06,820
- Yeah, but look at you.
- What?
1319
01:18:06,954 --> 01:18:09,924
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1320
01:18:10,525 --> 01:18:12,193
And alive.
1321
01:18:12,326 --> 01:18:14,828
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1322
01:18:14,962 --> 01:18:16,430
Where are you going?
1323
01:18:20,067 --> 01:18:22,102
I see you met
my friend here.
1324
01:18:22,236 --> 01:18:26,641
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1325
01:18:26,774 --> 01:18:29,176
without so much as
saying goodbye.
1326
01:18:29,310 --> 01:18:32,681
I said, "No way.
Not my Loretta.
1327
01:18:32,813 --> 01:18:37,318
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1328
01:18:40,721 --> 01:18:42,790
Stop squeezing so hard.
1329
01:18:43,625 --> 01:18:46,427
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1330
01:18:47,261 --> 01:18:49,163
Ow! Let go!
1331
01:18:49,631 --> 01:18:50,798
I-I need a car.
1332
01:18:50,931 --> 01:18:52,866
A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1333
01:19:01,342 --> 01:19:02,409
No, no. No.
1334
01:19:03,110 --> 01:19:04,411
I-I-I need an auto.
1335
01:19:04,546 --> 01:19:05,913
I'll trade you my watch.
1336
01:19:06,046 --> 01:19:07,348
It's a really expensive watch.
Do you have a car?
1337
01:19:07,481 --> 01:19:08,983
It's a Bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1338
01:19:09,116 --> 01:19:10,918
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1339
01:19:24,532 --> 01:19:26,233
Cool, isn't it?
1340
01:19:26,367 --> 01:19:29,503
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1341
01:19:29,638 --> 01:19:31,071
Have a drink.
1342
01:19:31,205 --> 01:19:32,741
Do you mind?
1343
01:19:32,873 --> 01:19:34,241
Uh, yes.
1344
01:19:34,375 --> 01:19:36,477
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1345
01:19:36,611 --> 01:19:39,380
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1346
01:19:39,514 --> 01:19:40,682
Why are you doing this?
1347
01:19:40,814 --> 01:19:42,584
I want something
nobody else has.
1348
01:19:43,450 --> 01:19:45,319
When my father gifted...
1349
01:19:48,355 --> 01:19:49,857
As I was saying,
1350
01:19:49,990 --> 01:19:52,893
when my father gifted
his empire
1351
01:19:53,027 --> 01:19:55,496
to my baby brother...
1352
01:20:02,570 --> 01:20:04,104
Who is that?
1353
01:20:12,813 --> 01:20:15,015
Is that a Ken doll
on a moped?
1354
01:20:15,816 --> 01:20:17,284
I know him from somewhere.
1355
01:20:17,418 --> 01:20:19,053
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1356
01:20:19,186 --> 01:20:21,355
Because what
you are looking at
1357
01:20:21,488 --> 01:20:24,358
is a highly trained
combat specialist,
1358
01:20:24,491 --> 01:20:28,062
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1359
01:20:28,195 --> 01:20:30,765
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1360
01:20:30,898 --> 01:20:32,966
Incredible skin.
No eczema problems.
1361
01:20:33,100 --> 01:20:36,738
And he will not stop
until I am safe!
1362
01:20:36,870 --> 01:20:39,039
So you pull
this space tank over,
1363
01:20:39,173 --> 01:20:42,309
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1364
01:20:42,443 --> 01:20:45,846
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1365
01:20:45,979 --> 01:20:48,616
He might not have meant to,
1366
01:20:48,750 --> 01:20:52,052
but they... perished, so...
1367
01:21:06,967 --> 01:21:08,168
Okay, who-who is this?
1368
01:21:08,302 --> 01:21:10,237
I have seen him
somewhere before.
1369
01:21:12,707 --> 01:21:13,907
No, no, no.
1370
01:21:14,041 --> 01:21:15,710
That's your cover model,
isn't it?
1371
01:21:15,844 --> 01:21:18,178
Yes. I knew
I knew him from somewhere.
1372
01:21:19,046 --> 01:21:20,080
Get up there.
1373
01:21:20,214 --> 01:21:21,549
And kill him creatively.
1374
01:21:21,683 --> 01:21:23,785
I love watching hunks fail.
1375
01:21:26,053 --> 01:21:28,422
I guess I-I will
have that drink.
1376
01:21:30,090 --> 01:21:31,325
Oh, shit.
1377
01:21:31,458 --> 01:21:34,027
Is it okay
if I just top 'er off?
1378
01:21:34,161 --> 01:21:35,295
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1379
01:21:35,429 --> 01:21:37,364
Oh, my God,
have you used a glass before?
1380
01:21:37,498 --> 01:21:38,833
Sorry.
1381
01:21:38,966 --> 01:21:40,467
What would
Jack Trainer do?
1382
01:21:42,637 --> 01:21:43,671
It's hot in here.
1383
01:21:43,805 --> 01:21:46,808
Anyone else feeling
how hot it is?
1384
01:21:46,940 --> 01:21:47,975
Are you trying to be sexy?
1385
01:21:48,108 --> 01:21:49,878
This is very weird.
Please, stop.
1386
01:21:50,010 --> 01:21:51,912
I could set your world
on fire.
1387
01:22:02,423 --> 01:22:04,726
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1388
01:22:04,859 --> 01:22:06,628
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1389
01:22:08,996 --> 01:22:10,832
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1390
01:22:10,964 --> 01:22:12,199
Time-out.
1391
01:22:12,332 --> 01:22:13,300
Time-in!
1392
01:22:19,106 --> 01:22:21,942
No! Don't shoot her!
I need her!
1393
01:22:23,578 --> 01:22:25,412
Oh, Jesus!
1394
01:22:25,547 --> 01:22:26,980
Ow, ow, ow.
1395
01:22:30,885 --> 01:22:33,353
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1396
01:22:36,390 --> 01:22:38,560
Go to sleep, asshole.
1397
01:22:38,693 --> 01:22:40,427
Get out there! Look!
1398
01:22:44,998 --> 01:22:46,266
A bigger guy?
1399
01:22:46,400 --> 01:22:47,635
Oh, no.
1400
01:22:48,969 --> 01:22:50,204
What?
1401
01:22:52,707 --> 01:22:53,575
Move it!
1402
01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:57,612
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1403
01:22:58,479 --> 01:23:00,414
Hey! Get in.
1404
01:23:00,849 --> 01:23:02,015
Him or me?
1405
01:23:06,086 --> 01:23:10,925
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1406
01:23:11,058 --> 01:23:13,026
This is real life.
1407
01:23:13,962 --> 01:23:15,797
And we will kill him.
1408
01:23:15,930 --> 01:23:17,665
Tell us where the tomb is.
1409
01:23:32,312 --> 01:23:33,581
Hi.
So, whoever's in charge,
1410
01:23:33,715 --> 01:23:36,316
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1411
01:23:36,450 --> 01:23:37,585
Here.
1412
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:40,487
We are closed.
1413
01:23:40,622 --> 01:23:42,022
You're closed?
1414
01:23:43,925 --> 01:23:47,060
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1415
01:23:47,194 --> 01:23:48,730
A year and a half.
1416
01:23:49,631 --> 01:23:52,734
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1417
01:23:52,867 --> 01:23:54,167
the midnight oil,
1418
01:23:54,301 --> 01:23:57,170
since way before
my friend got kidnapped.
1419
01:23:57,304 --> 01:23:59,172
And all I want to do
1420
01:23:59,707 --> 01:24:01,843
is kick my feet back
1421
01:24:01,976 --> 01:24:03,176
and drink some wine
1422
01:24:03,310 --> 01:24:05,747
that I'm probably
too tired to drink.
1423
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:07,682
And I want a massage.
1424
01:24:07,815 --> 01:24:12,452
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1425
01:24:12,587 --> 01:24:14,589
and I want it at the same time.
1426
01:24:14,722 --> 01:24:18,425
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1427
01:24:18,560 --> 01:24:21,228
Because I have worked hard.
1428
01:24:22,062 --> 01:24:24,566
The same way that
I know that you have.
1429
01:24:25,432 --> 01:24:27,602
So I hate to ask you
1430
01:24:27,735 --> 01:24:30,103
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1431
01:24:30,237 --> 01:24:32,105
because if we don't,
1432
01:24:32,239 --> 01:24:35,810
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1433
01:24:35,944 --> 01:24:37,712
are going to die.
1434
01:25:00,500 --> 01:25:02,036
No good way in, boss!
1435
01:25:02,169 --> 01:25:04,304
What about the caves?
1436
01:25:05,073 --> 01:25:06,440
That's too dangerous!
1437
01:25:06,574 --> 01:25:09,544
Well,
we'll be very careful then.
1438
01:25:23,123 --> 01:25:24,458
Well, come on!
1439
01:25:29,097 --> 01:25:30,898
- This way.
- I have a rule about
1440
01:25:31,032 --> 01:25:32,567
not going into
super creepy caves.
1441
01:25:43,911 --> 01:25:46,814
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1442
01:25:46,948 --> 01:25:49,851
He seems more like
a Buck or a Bruce.
1443
01:25:49,984 --> 01:25:51,485
Lead the way.
1444
01:25:55,155 --> 01:25:57,491
Go on. Don't be scared.
1445
01:26:27,254 --> 01:26:28,990
Watch your step there.
1446
01:26:29,123 --> 01:26:30,290
Bruce!
1447
01:26:30,424 --> 01:26:31,391
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1448
01:26:31,526 --> 01:26:33,127
Whoa.
1449
01:26:33,260 --> 01:26:34,796
Whoa.
1450
01:26:35,362 --> 01:26:36,931
Well...
1451
01:26:37,732 --> 01:26:39,433
Let's not have
his death be in vain.
1452
01:26:39,567 --> 01:26:42,302
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1453
01:26:42,436 --> 01:26:44,872
We're not gonna go
and get him now, are we?
1454
01:26:45,006 --> 01:26:46,406
Oh, man.
1455
01:26:58,753 --> 01:27:00,387
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1456
01:27:00,521 --> 01:27:03,191
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1457
01:27:03,323 --> 01:27:05,159
This is over.
Nobody else has to die.
1458
01:27:05,292 --> 01:27:07,461
No, no, no. Ha-ha!
It's a breeze.
1459
01:27:07,595 --> 01:27:09,964
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1460
01:27:10,098 --> 01:27:11,933
- That's not person-sized.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
1461
01:27:12,066 --> 01:27:14,301
Come on.
It's practically a kiddie slide.
1462
01:27:14,434 --> 01:27:16,738
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1463
01:27:16,871 --> 01:27:19,239
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1464
01:27:19,372 --> 01:27:20,641
the hole... the tunnel!
1465
01:27:20,775 --> 01:27:22,744
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1466
01:27:22,877 --> 01:27:24,311
No, that's impossible.
I can't.
1467
01:27:24,444 --> 01:27:25,847
Please let us know
if you get through.
1468
01:27:25,980 --> 01:27:28,281
If we don't hear from you,
Fabio's got to die.
1469
01:27:28,415 --> 01:27:30,618
Wait,
I'm the damsel in distress?
1470
01:27:31,185 --> 01:27:32,553
It's okay. I'm fine.
1471
01:28:08,523 --> 01:28:10,958
I can't.
I'm so sorry. I can't.
1472
01:28:11,092 --> 01:28:12,827
- Hey.
- What?
1473
01:28:13,528 --> 01:28:15,462
Hey, you smell that?
1474
01:28:15,596 --> 01:28:18,498
You mean centuries worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1475
01:28:18,633 --> 01:28:20,868
You gotta take
a big breath for me.
1476
01:28:25,973 --> 01:28:27,307
There you go.
1477
01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:29,342
You can do it, Loretta.
1478
01:28:42,290 --> 01:28:45,026
I think I see a way out.
1479
01:28:48,596 --> 01:28:50,832
Oh, cheese and rice!
1480
01:28:55,435 --> 01:28:56,771
I made it!
1481
01:28:56,904 --> 01:28:58,338
I made it!
1482
01:28:58,471 --> 01:29:01,008
See? Totally safe.
1483
01:29:01,976 --> 01:29:03,077
Go on. Your turn.
1484
01:29:04,745 --> 01:29:07,682
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1485
01:30:11,879 --> 01:30:14,048
Why would they
build this here?
1486
01:30:15,116 --> 01:30:16,817
But how is anyone
supposed to worship
1487
01:30:16,951 --> 01:30:18,619
or remember you
if they can't even see it?
1488
01:30:18,753 --> 01:30:20,588
They aren't.
1489
01:30:20,721 --> 01:30:23,691
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1490
01:30:24,792 --> 01:30:27,328
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1491
01:30:27,460 --> 01:30:30,965
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1492
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:34,035
She just wanted
to be alone.
1493
01:30:35,703 --> 01:30:37,238
Taha doesn't want us here.
1494
01:30:37,371 --> 01:30:38,673
God, shut up, Rafi.
1495
01:30:38,806 --> 01:30:40,675
It's just the volcano.
1496
01:30:42,343 --> 01:30:43,644
Come on.
1497
01:30:48,783 --> 01:30:50,450
We have to keep going.
1498
01:30:58,559 --> 01:31:00,227
All right.
Let's go, Muscles.
1499
01:31:00,928 --> 01:31:02,797
Open it up.
1500
01:31:02,930 --> 01:31:05,333
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1501
01:31:05,465 --> 01:31:08,102
Come on. We didn't come all this
way just to pay our respects.
1502
01:31:08,235 --> 01:31:09,904
I can't, um...
1503
01:31:12,640 --> 01:31:14,875
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abuela.
1504
01:31:36,063 --> 01:31:37,365
What is that?
1505
01:31:39,567 --> 01:31:42,003
Are those... seashells?
1506
01:31:42,737 --> 01:31:45,573
The crown is made of seashells?
1507
01:31:45,706 --> 01:31:47,274
Where's the treasure?
1508
01:31:48,242 --> 01:31:49,710
She's holding him.
1509
01:31:52,513 --> 01:31:54,281
You mean the dead guy?
1510
01:32:00,721 --> 01:32:01,956
Look.
1511
01:32:03,924 --> 01:32:05,626
It's their courtship.
1512
01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:09,663
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1513
01:32:12,533 --> 01:32:14,068
Rare red seashells.
1514
01:32:14,201 --> 01:32:19,173
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell every day for a year
1515
01:32:19,306 --> 01:32:20,841
and made them into a crown,
1516
01:32:20,975 --> 01:32:23,711
bright red like
the flame of their love,
1517
01:32:23,844 --> 01:32:27,214
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1518
01:32:27,348 --> 01:32:29,083
It was never about jewels.
1519
01:32:29,216 --> 01:32:32,987
Kalaman and Taha's riches
weren't material.
1520
01:32:34,889 --> 01:32:36,791
It was their love.
1521
01:32:36,924 --> 01:32:39,226
That's what it meant.
That was enough.
1522
01:32:39,360 --> 01:32:40,594
So that's it?
1523
01:32:41,495 --> 01:32:44,432
All of that time
and money
1524
01:32:45,232 --> 01:32:48,803
spent on, what,
just a cheap metaphor?
1525
01:32:48,936 --> 01:32:51,705
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1526
01:32:51,839 --> 01:32:53,808
We got to go. We got to go now.
1527
01:32:53,941 --> 01:32:57,044
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1528
01:32:57,178 --> 01:32:59,213
You think it's all
so sweet and poetic.
1529
01:32:59,346 --> 01:33:01,816
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1530
01:33:01,949 --> 01:33:04,885
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1531
01:33:05,554 --> 01:33:07,822
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1532
01:33:07,955 --> 01:33:10,357
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1533
01:33:10,491 --> 01:33:13,094
It's better to be buried
alive than buried dead, I guess.
1534
01:33:13,227 --> 01:33:16,531
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1535
01:33:16,664 --> 01:33:18,132
This is a hell of a story.
1536
01:33:18,265 --> 01:33:20,935
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1537
01:33:21,068 --> 01:33:22,603
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1538
01:33:22,736 --> 01:33:25,372
if you don't stop being such a snowflake!
Get over here!
1539
01:33:34,915 --> 01:33:36,917
This is fine.
This is not an active nightmare
1540
01:33:37,051 --> 01:33:38,719
I've had since
I was 14 years old.
1541
01:33:40,488 --> 01:33:41,922
Ow!
1542
01:33:42,056 --> 01:33:45,793
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1543
01:33:50,798 --> 01:33:53,100
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1544
01:33:53,234 --> 01:33:57,905
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1545
01:33:58,706 --> 01:34:00,241
You can't just
leave me here!
1546
01:34:02,243 --> 01:34:04,645
Rafi! Come back!
1547
01:34:06,881 --> 01:34:08,249
I need a boat!
1548
01:34:17,658 --> 01:34:19,793
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1549
01:34:21,829 --> 01:34:23,598
Help! Help!
1550
01:34:23,731 --> 01:34:25,833
One of the locals
just stole my boat!
1551
01:34:25,966 --> 01:34:27,668
Have you seen a woman?
1552
01:34:27,801 --> 01:34:30,905
She's a brunette
in a sequined jumpsuit.
1553
01:34:31,038 --> 01:34:35,075
No. Is she in some sort
of trouble?
1554
01:34:46,720 --> 01:34:48,455
It's kind of funny.
1555
01:34:49,857 --> 01:34:51,660
I used to think this...
1556
01:34:51,792 --> 01:34:53,662
this sort of thing
was so romantic.
1557
01:34:53,794 --> 01:34:55,129
Yeah?
1558
01:34:55,262 --> 01:34:58,533
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1559
01:34:58,667 --> 01:35:01,268
or... cuddling dead people?
1560
01:35:02,036 --> 01:35:05,072
Just laying down
with a lost love.
1561
01:35:05,206 --> 01:35:06,473
Like Taha did.
1562
01:35:08,976 --> 01:35:10,211
- God.
- Oh...
1563
01:35:10,778 --> 01:35:12,112
Oh, God.
1564
01:35:12,246 --> 01:35:14,415
I'm sorry.
1565
01:35:14,549 --> 01:35:16,984
I'm sorry that
I couldn't save you.
1566
01:35:17,117 --> 01:35:19,119
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1567
01:35:19,621 --> 01:35:20,955
You're right.
1568
01:35:21,989 --> 01:35:23,525
You're nothing like Dash.
1569
01:35:23,658 --> 01:35:26,661
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1570
01:35:26,794 --> 01:35:32,166
You rode in on a...
borrowed scooter with a broken muffler.
1571
01:35:33,602 --> 01:35:34,969
Yeah.
1572
01:35:35,102 --> 01:35:38,005
I never could've written
a Dash like you.
1573
01:35:39,907 --> 01:35:41,842
'Cause I never knew
1574
01:35:42,544 --> 01:35:44,278
a Dash like Alan.
1575
01:35:44,411 --> 01:35:46,847
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1576
01:35:46,981 --> 01:35:48,315
that I just stopped living.
1577
01:35:48,449 --> 01:35:50,417
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1578
01:35:50,552 --> 01:35:54,121
I'm just so sorry
I didn't see you sooner.
1579
01:35:55,055 --> 01:35:56,658
I have a confession too.
1580
01:35:56,790 --> 01:36:00,662
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1581
01:36:00,794 --> 01:36:04,064
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1582
01:36:05,332 --> 01:36:07,901
The Adventures
of Loretta and Alan.
1583
01:36:10,004 --> 01:36:11,905
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1584
01:36:12,039 --> 01:36:14,041
Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.
1585
01:36:15,142 --> 01:36:18,946
Sorry. Just...
Taha's femur is poking me.
1586
01:36:22,651 --> 01:36:24,351
Rafi must have
left that.
1587
01:36:24,485 --> 01:36:27,021
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1588
01:36:27,154 --> 01:36:28,757
No, he left it
on purpose.
1589
01:36:28,889 --> 01:36:30,558
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1590
01:36:30,692 --> 01:36:32,059
- One...
- Okay.
1591
01:36:32,192 --> 01:36:33,961
- ...two, three!
- Okay.
1592
01:36:34,094 --> 01:36:38,098
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1593
01:36:38,767 --> 01:36:39,567
Okay.
1594
01:37:00,588 --> 01:37:02,823
Dulcius ex asperis.
1595
01:37:07,227 --> 01:37:09,063
Sweeter after difficulty.
1596
01:37:15,704 --> 01:37:17,171
Go up!
Run for the trees!
1597
01:37:18,339 --> 01:37:21,275
Wait. Nope. Never mind.
Trees are on fire.
1598
01:37:21,710 --> 01:37:23,410
Okay.
1599
01:37:24,978 --> 01:37:26,847
We can go back
through the tunnel.
1600
01:37:27,816 --> 01:37:29,116
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1601
01:37:34,221 --> 01:37:36,156
Um, okay.
I'm open to other ideas.
1602
01:37:36,290 --> 01:37:39,794
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1603
01:37:39,927 --> 01:37:41,596
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1604
01:37:42,062 --> 01:37:43,197
We don't.
1605
01:37:44,998 --> 01:37:47,167
There's only one way
to find out.
1606
01:37:48,670 --> 01:37:50,371
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1607
01:38:11,291 --> 01:38:12,326
Alan?
1608
01:38:20,769 --> 01:38:22,002
Alan!
1609
01:38:59,440 --> 01:39:00,374
Alan?
1610
01:39:00,508 --> 01:39:03,243
A... Alan?
1611
01:39:04,445 --> 01:39:05,479
Alan!
1612
01:39:08,716 --> 01:39:10,417
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1613
01:39:10,552 --> 01:39:12,787
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my God. I thought I killed you.
1614
01:39:15,790 --> 01:39:16,724
Is that Beth?
1615
01:39:16,858 --> 01:39:18,091
Loretta!
1616
01:39:18,726 --> 01:39:19,861
Beth!
1617
01:39:19,993 --> 01:39:21,629
- Beth!
- Beth!
1618
01:39:21,763 --> 01:39:22,996
Beth!
1619
01:39:28,636 --> 01:39:30,037
Beth, you're here!
1620
01:39:30,672 --> 01:39:31,840
Why are you here?
1621
01:39:31,972 --> 01:39:34,809
I told you I got your back,
girl!
1622
01:39:35,309 --> 01:39:37,177
I'm so sorry!
1623
01:39:37,311 --> 01:39:39,446
I destroyed
the jumpsuit!
1624
01:39:39,881 --> 01:39:40,849
What?
1625
01:39:40,981 --> 01:39:43,450
Never mind! Later.
1626
01:39:43,585 --> 01:39:45,553
I found a British guy
in a cave.
1627
01:39:45,687 --> 01:39:48,155
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1628
01:39:48,288 --> 01:39:51,526
Beth, that's Fairfax!
He kidnapped us!
1629
01:39:51,659 --> 01:39:54,394
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1630
01:39:54,529 --> 01:39:55,563
Get him!
1631
01:39:56,029 --> 01:39:57,231
Stop him!
1632
01:40:05,072 --> 01:40:07,307
I got your back, girl.
1633
01:40:09,409 --> 01:40:11,378
Where were you running?
It's a boat.
1634
01:40:11,513 --> 01:40:13,013
This guy's hilarious.
1635
01:40:13,146 --> 01:40:14,816
Got you.
1636
01:40:14,949 --> 01:40:16,216
Swim over to the rock!
1637
01:40:16,350 --> 01:40:18,385
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1638
01:40:18,520 --> 01:40:20,387
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1639
01:40:20,522 --> 01:40:23,090
"Finding refuge
on a nearby rock,
1640
01:40:23,223 --> 01:40:25,292
he lifted her from the water,
1641
01:40:25,425 --> 01:40:28,563
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1642
01:40:28,696 --> 01:40:29,831
Alan whispered..."
1643
01:40:29,964 --> 01:40:32,534
Shh. You're safe now.
1644
01:40:34,869 --> 01:40:39,607
"In that moment, Loretta could
feel a new adventure was just beginning."
1645
01:40:40,808 --> 01:40:43,511
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1646
01:40:43,645 --> 01:40:46,514
only inflamed Loretta's
desire for him.
1647
01:40:46,648 --> 01:40:50,852
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1648
01:40:50,985 --> 01:40:54,556
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1649
01:40:55,857 --> 01:40:57,692
It's nothing she hasn't
read before.
1650
01:40:57,825 --> 01:40:59,159
Didn't I tell you?
1651
01:40:59,293 --> 01:41:02,229
The most beautiful beach
in the world.
1652
01:41:02,362 --> 01:41:05,667
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1653
01:41:05,800 --> 01:41:07,434
No, you can take Randy.
1654
01:41:07,569 --> 01:41:11,138
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1655
01:41:11,271 --> 01:41:14,274
Platonic?
I like the sound of that.
1656
01:41:14,408 --> 01:41:17,077
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1657
01:41:17,210 --> 01:41:19,446
Here you go, Randy.
1658
01:41:21,148 --> 01:41:23,518
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1659
01:41:24,084 --> 01:41:25,587
How did you know?
1660
01:41:37,464 --> 01:41:40,267
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1661
01:41:40,835 --> 01:41:42,570
Um...
1662
01:41:42,704 --> 01:41:47,008
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1663
01:41:47,140 --> 01:41:48,375
Um...
1664
01:41:49,877 --> 01:41:51,278
Quid deinde?
1665
01:41:52,412 --> 01:41:55,550
It's Latin.
It means, uh, "What's next?"
1666
01:41:57,417 --> 01:41:58,920
Quid cogitas?
1667
01:41:59,053 --> 01:42:00,454
Mmm.
1668
01:42:01,154 --> 01:42:02,289
Buca di Beppo.
1669
01:42:05,727 --> 01:42:07,427
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1670
01:42:07,562 --> 01:42:10,464
I looked it up
for this moment right now.
1671
01:42:11,264 --> 01:42:13,367
So, what does come next?
1672
01:42:13,500 --> 01:42:15,937
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1673
01:42:16,070 --> 01:42:18,640
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1674
01:42:18,773 --> 01:42:21,109
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1675
01:42:21,241 --> 01:42:22,543
Okay.
1676
01:42:22,677 --> 01:42:25,647
"We were... They were, uh...
standing on a beach."
1677
01:42:25,780 --> 01:42:27,682
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1678
01:42:27,815 --> 01:42:29,584
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1679
01:42:29,717 --> 01:42:31,485
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1680
01:42:31,619 --> 01:42:35,657
"There are palm trees
above a brown
1681
01:42:36,456 --> 01:42:39,093
bark-like hair
of the maiden.
1682
01:42:39,226 --> 01:42:41,029
There is a dead jellyfish..."
1683
01:42:41,161 --> 01:42:43,631
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1684
01:42:43,765 --> 01:42:46,601
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1685
01:42:47,434 --> 01:42:49,469
It's nice writing.
1686
01:42:49,604 --> 01:42:50,905
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1687
01:42:51,039 --> 01:42:52,106
I'll keep going.
1688
01:42:52,239 --> 01:42:53,775
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1689
01:42:53,908 --> 01:42:57,310
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1690
01:42:58,046 --> 01:42:59,147
was the throbbing in the..."
1691
01:42:59,279 --> 01:43:02,349
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1692
01:43:02,482 --> 01:43:04,152
Can't come out of the
gate with a throb.
1693
01:43:04,284 --> 01:43:06,554
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1694
01:43:06,688 --> 01:43:08,623
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1695
01:43:08,756 --> 01:43:12,359
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1696
01:43:12,492 --> 01:43:14,595
I think you throb in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1697
01:43:14,729 --> 01:43:16,664
It's a precursor to throb.
1698
01:43:16,798 --> 01:43:18,833
- "Undulating."
- You just jumped to five.
1699
01:43:18,966 --> 01:43:21,836
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1700
01:43:21,969 --> 01:43:23,805
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1701
01:43:23,938 --> 01:43:25,573
I'm good at starting...
1702
01:43:29,409 --> 01:43:30,912
How was that? Any notes?
1703
01:43:31,646 --> 01:43:35,049
Very good
first chapter attempt.
1704
01:45:00,268 --> 01:45:01,769
Psst!
1705
01:45:02,402 --> 01:45:03,905
Psst.
1706
01:45:04,839 --> 01:45:05,873
Psst.
1707
01:45:07,942 --> 01:45:08,876
Mother...
1708
01:45:09,010 --> 01:45:10,645
You were dead.
1709
01:45:10,778 --> 01:45:13,648
Your brains came out of your face
and hit the back of my throat.
1710
01:45:13,781 --> 01:45:16,284
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1711
01:45:16,416 --> 01:45:18,019
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1712
01:45:18,152 --> 01:45:23,323
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1713
01:45:23,456 --> 01:45:26,260
So, you're okay?
1714
01:45:26,393 --> 01:45:28,095
One hundred percent.
1715
01:45:28,229 --> 01:45:29,697
Meaning 10%.
1716
01:45:29,831 --> 01:45:31,498
We thought you were dead.
1717
01:45:31,632 --> 01:45:34,334
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1718
01:45:34,467 --> 01:45:36,871
- Of course.
- And resentment.
1719
01:45:38,739 --> 01:45:40,041
So good to see you, man.
1720
01:45:40,174 --> 01:45:42,210
Okay,
let's keep the chatter down.
1721
01:45:42,342 --> 01:45:46,781
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1722
01:45:47,815 --> 01:45:48,950
Great.
1723
01:45:49,750 --> 01:45:50,785
Great.