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‎NETFLIX 原創喜劇影集

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‎來說些搞笑又有共嗚的事

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‎當你想買一罐豆子

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‎但你不知道自己腦袋正不正常

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‎於是你買了許多罐豆子

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‎然後你回到家，打開櫥櫃

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‎發現家裡本來就有五罐豆子

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‎（太多豆）

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‎（共鳴）

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‎哈哈哈…

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‎（馬克博南諾 也是喜劇小品演員）

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‎但你記不起來，只好改個新的

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‎但你用不了，因為系統說

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‎新密碼不能與舊密碼相同

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‎原來你一直都知道密碼是甚麼

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‎（共嗚）

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‎在酒莊吃著紅酒燉雞

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‎說來有趣

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‎經理端出桃红葡萄酒

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‎一瓶微妙的酒

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‎配餐酒來說不夠濃郁

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‎-沒有共嗚
‎-完全沒有

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‎我個人而言沒有共嗚

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‎再說些搞笑又有共嗚的事

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‎當你在等拿咖啡，職員終於叫你名字

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‎然後另一個男人直接搶了

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‎你說：“那是我的咖啡”
‎他說：“才不是”

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‎最後發現你們同名同姓

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‎然後笑啊笑啊…

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‎說來有趣，安東南卡漢姆下廚

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‎吃他煮的法國高級料理
‎可是學生們卻在搞暴動

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‎築起路障、死在橋樑

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‎害你要繞路，吃個高級料理都遲到

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‎-或許有吧
‎-嗯嗯

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‎說來有趣，當你在機場

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‎機場非常繁忙…

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‎1832年是不是特別酷

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‎看到一道異光，步進那道光

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‎一道傳送門，一走到尾

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‎不知道自己身在何方

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‎報紙卻寫著2020年

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‎你看到一間未來屋

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‎走進那間屋，裡面有人唱著歌

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‎於是就一起唱，雖然朋友都死光

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‎永遠回不了家

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‎-沒有共嗚
‎-抱歉

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‎-那…
‎-實在沒有共嗚

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‎（把老師叫老媽？）

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‎-有！
‎-有！

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‎（通知）

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‎-通知
‎-通知

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‎-有通知，要網
‎-要網

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‎-網
‎-去拿捕網

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‎他要去哪裡？

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‎網住電腦吧！

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‎-我抓不到！
‎-通知！

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‎-抓不到
‎-我們收到通知

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‎-抓到了！
‎-抓得好

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‎-謝謝
‎-等等

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‎我們要去約會！

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‎-我們要去約會！
‎-扎哈！

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‎-怎麼了？
‎-有人跟我們的三人行檔案匹配了

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‎-天啊！爽啦！
‎-萬歲！

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‎我能一起參與浪漫約會嗎？

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‎-不行
‎-那算吧

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‎反正我也不想去

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‎你們都給我滾開吧，真無禮

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‎無禮之徒，這裡都是一堆無禮之徒！

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‎-喂，我的捕網
‎-不，現在歸我了！

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‎我們要去約會了！

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‎-耶
‎-耶！

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‎-爽啦！
‎-去約會！

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‎希望能親親

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‎（本日單詞：約會）

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‎（布洛登）

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‎（扎哈）

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‎（馬克）

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‎看電視、看電視

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‎與我好友一起看電視

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‎今年夏天上映的電影《壯男與宅男》

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‎他是全校最性感的壯男

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‎爽啦

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‎他學校裡的大宅男

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‎他是個萬人迷

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‎爽啦

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‎他在網上…也是個萬人迷

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‎他走路帶風、講話幽默

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‎爽啦

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‎他少了半個腎

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‎他父母登上了《價格猜猜猜》

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‎爽啦

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‎他父母雙亡

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‎能給我一點好事嗎？

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‎全校都跟他有一“手”

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‎爽啦

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‎他一根手指都沒有

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‎有十個人爭相和他去舞會

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‎爽啦

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‎他的舞伴是他媽濕淋淋的雞蛋麵

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‎親親！

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‎不要！

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‎有天一切都改變了

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‎全靠壯男給了宅男一杯啤酒

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‎喂，要喝一杯嗎，老兄？

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‎-好啊
‎-爽啦

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‎可惜宅男肚子有洞！

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‎-慘了
‎-爽啦

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‎-爽
‎-不！

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‎3000塊的拼圖遊戲
‎過去六個月真的非常有挑戰性

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‎不過我總算打開包裝盒了

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‎喂，扎哈，要我講幾次
‎可以幫所有門上潤滑油嗎？

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‎每次我打開任何東西
‎都像有男人在喊“嘎吱”

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‎-嘎吱
‎-看到嗎？

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‎嘎吱門

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‎每次我碰這個西瓜

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‎就像有人在喊出
‎克里斯多福諾蘭拍過的電影

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‎《蝙蝠俠：開戰時刻》

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‎《記憶拼圖》

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‎《頂尖對決》

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‎講述戰爭，然後要坐船那部

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‎《敦克爾克大行動》，對了

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‎還有我每次打開這個盒子

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‎就像有人在我耳邊講甜言蜜語

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‎-我待會就他媽殺了你…
‎-好，開錯盒了

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‎老友，何解這麼暴躁？

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‎-超嘎吱
‎-沒事

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‎只是很緊張要去約會

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‎我最接近約會的一次
‎就去問椰棗農場

129
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‎年度雨季預測

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‎-甚麼？
‎-我只是為約會感到緊張

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‎老兄，最重要有自信

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‎你只需要相信自己是最酷的傢伙就行

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‎像亞當李維那樣，我就靠這招

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‎等等，巴尼斯廷森
‎這招真的管用嗎？

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‎不只管用，奈爾斯克雷，還非常有效

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‎以昨晚為例

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‎那是一個典型的週五夜

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‎我去了一個潮爆的新酒吧

139
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‎看到幾位想認識的性感美女

140
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‎於是我就上前
‎說出史上最爆笑的笑話

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‎他們絕對笑了

142
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‎他們笑好久，還說我比錢德賓幽默

143
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‎他是《老友記》裡最搞笑那個

144
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‎真心不騙，馬克，他們覺得我超酷

145
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‎後來我的新朋友
‎紅髮女、紫藍衣和帽子

146
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‎求我跟他們一起跳舞

147
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‎於是我們一起跳舞

148
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‎然後另一頂帽子
‎帶了我和我的新朋友和我

149
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‎去新的夜店，叫“絕對不是我們家”

150
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‎這夜店的名字不錯耶！

151
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‎對，還百分百真實

152
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‎我們插隊進場
‎我和朋友直接到舞池跳舞

153
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‎我和很多朋友一起跳舞

154
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‎我們一直跳
‎後來把那種舞叫我們的友誼之舞了

155
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‎我的舞藝超凡，召喚出魔法舞王

156
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‎甚麼？才不會這樣！

157
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‎不，這部分是真的

158
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‎他說我是魔法舞王

159
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‎還冠我為跳舞王子

160
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‎還給我一雙魔法舞鞋
‎然後我們一直跳

161
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‎一直跳舞

162
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‎然後他說：“我餓了”

163
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‎於是我們加熱一些小蘑菇披薩

164
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‎因為那個舞王是素食者

165
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‎吃完就後繼續跳

166
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:58,187
‎然後他讓我試真的漢堡
‎和未來漢堡的分別

167
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‎他說吃起來一模一樣

168
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‎不過其實是有點差別
‎我又不知道怎麼跟他說

169
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‎然後他被一輛紅色車撞了

170
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,954
‎然後他死了，於是我把他丟進垃圾筒

171
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‎老友，這就是約會妙招了

172
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‎甚麼？扎哈，你有句是真的嗎？

173
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‎你知道哪部分是真的話
‎肯定會非常驚訝

174
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‎魔法舞王那部分是真的

175
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‎-甚麼？
‎-對

176
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‎不過那輛車是藍色的，所以…

177
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‎所以不是紅色的？

178
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‎-不曉得
‎-我…

179
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‎先生，不好意思

180
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‎妳好

181
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‎我們預約了這個空間

182
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‎-我們客廳？
‎-對

183
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‎你去看看預約表

184
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‎-那裡有張預約表
‎-我他媽整輩子…

185
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‎都沒見過那張紙

186
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‎對，不過他們也預約了

187
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‎甚麼？他們是誰？

188
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‎那是我們劇團的人，我們來綵排表演

189
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‎都是我錯，我應該提早預約客廳的

190
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‎不，客廳會被預約也太奇怪

191
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‎對，的確很奇怪

192
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‎不，我…算了

193
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‎-我走吧…
‎-對，你該走了

194
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‎對

195
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‎我在胸口裡感受到你！

196
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‎我現在就要

197
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‎這大概就是資本主義吧

198
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‎我操

199
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:11,683
‎我操

200
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‎已經四個半小時了

201
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‎我們講一下銷量吧，銷量不太好

202
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‎（男士理髮台，讓人當男子漢的地方
‎只收現金）

203
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‎哇

204
00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,873
‎老兄，你好嗎？

205
00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:42,543
‎去黑板寫上你的名字吧
‎你個性感尤物，操你啦，懂嗎？

206
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,043
‎好吧

207
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:48,134
‎我有空馬上來，我們這裡很忙的

208
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,182
‎布洛登！到你了，老兄

209
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,765
‎老兄，有甚麼可以幫到你？

210
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,809
‎我和朋友今晚要去約會

211
00:10:01,892 --> 00:10:04,272
‎-所以我想…
‎-老兄，不用擔心

212
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:07,403
‎放心，我幫你弄完之後，她肯定…

213
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:08,941
‎她肯定…

214
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,315
‎絕對會…

215
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,822
‎用你的…

216
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:14,776
‎好吧

217
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,874
‎喲，需要甚麼嗎，老兄？

218
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,699
‎你要特濃咖啡，還是啤酒？
‎要不要刺青？要不要打炮？

219
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,406
‎不管甚麼都行，今天就你爽

220
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:25,916
‎比起那些有的沒的，我只需要剪髮

221
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,500
‎一杯啤酒，馬上來

222
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,205
‎給你一杯啤酒吧，老兄

223
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,300
‎喂，你有開瓶器嗎？

224
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,721
‎不需要

225
00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,887
‎天啊

226
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:42,561
‎這是我們家自製的
‎傑克丹尼威士忌加辣椒醬和鷹精液

227
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,272
‎我要噴上你頭了，你一下，我一下

228
00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:49,323
‎這裡有滑板、有單車
‎有乳頭、有刺青

229
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:51,358
‎還有政治論文

230
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,492
‎我們的客戶群都很有智慧的

231
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,284
‎-看到嗎？
‎-看到

232
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,622
‎媽的刺青！

233
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,117
‎看好了

234
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,955
‎我乳頭多根老二

235
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,964
‎-到底會幫我剪髮嗎？
‎-會

236
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,003
‎正在剪啦

237
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,746
‎-天啊
‎-爽啦！

238
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,916
‎我被棄訂八次

239
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,010
‎這有毒！

240
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,717
‎這有毒！

241
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:19,893
‎來剪髮吧

242
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,185
‎（剪髮、剪剪）

243
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:30,361
‎（早上10點30）

244
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:31,439
‎（你會喜歡的）

245
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:35,109
‎他們家剪得蠻好的，只花了95塊

246
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:37,569
‎剪好頭髮，我很不要臉喔

247
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,027
‎準備去約會，你就是神

248
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:48,825
‎馬克，準備看一下約會穿的新衣服

249
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:51,462
‎好

250
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,836
‎-準備好？
‎-嗯哼

251
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,141
‎瞧瞧你的衣服啊

252
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,194
‎瞧瞧你的

253
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,731
‎我的衣服很棒

254
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:14,611
‎就說說而已

255
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:17,859
‎-瞧瞧你的衣服
‎-真的非常棒

256
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:22,950
‎扎哈，你喜歡我的新衣服嗎？

257
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,659
‎我喜歡

258
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,713
‎你的衣服誰造的？

259
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,331
‎扎哈幫我造的

260
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,545
‎你有沒有造…

261
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,172
‎我都自己造衣服的

262
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:42,047
‎但如果你幫自己造衣服
‎那我的衣服是誰造的？

263
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,428
‎噓！

264
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,218
‎是秘密嗎？

265
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:50,443
‎我沒有幫你造，那是你自己造的！

266
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,272
‎布洛登

267
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,268
‎你的衣服也不錯

268
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,316
‎這套是我最愛的衣服

269
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,320
‎扎哈？

270
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,033
‎這“伊伏”不錯啦

271
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,663
‎我這套是很棒，不過你那套

272
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,696
‎-你實在讓人大嚇一驚
‎-謝謝

273
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,826
‎這套衣服，真是全壘打啊

274
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:10,083
‎-非常棒
‎-對

275
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,924
‎這套衣服簡直像…

276
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:18,917
‎我還是去…

277
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,474
‎對

278
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,508
‎對

279
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:29,346
‎對

280
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,642
‎-回本疊了
‎-嗯

281
00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:35,862
‎對

282
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:12,158
‎怎麼樣？

283
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,289
‎爽！

284
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,537
‎爽，好爽啊

285
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,079
‎好爽！

286
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,342
‎爽

287
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:38,061
‎我只想說我超喜歡你那套衣服

288
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:38,975
‎多謝

289
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:43,980
‎（巫基烏基布基）

290
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,448
‎巫基，你最愛吃甚麼？

291
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,334
‎巫基烏基最愛吃巫基烏基

292
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:58,502
‎巫基你都穿甚麼衣服？

293
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,422
‎巫基烏基只會穿那種

294
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,632
‎巫基烏基都基布基烏基巫基的！

295
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,633
‎巫基，我長痔瘡了

296
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:10,676
‎你最好買些舒緩痔瘡膏

297
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:14,101
‎塗在屁股上，然後就能布基烏基

298
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,891
‎巫基，我們晚上出去

299
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,346
‎你去了哪裡，那是甚麼？是嚇到嗎？

300
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:23,067
‎布基烏基好多脂肪

301
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:26,318
‎巫基烏基最近就找到一個腫塊

302
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,662
‎睪丸長出腫塊，巫基烏基好怕怕

303
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:32,868
‎原來巫基得了巫基烏基癌

304
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,370
‎天啦

305
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:35,871
‎跳個巫基布基

306
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:37,453
‎踏向左邊

307
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,580
‎踏向右邊

308
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,591
‎不夠時間？

309
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:44,959
‎踏好

310
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:46,125
‎踏…

311
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,881
‎總有一天，我會上了那隻巫基

312
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,350
‎不好了，捕網，拿捕網

313
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,063
‎我去拿吧

314
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:02,772
‎智障仔抓到了

315
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:04,938
‎智障仔！

316
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:08,275
‎我回家煮梅乾了

317
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,400
‎智障仔！

318
00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:12,985
‎智障仔好愛跳舞

319
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,993
‎萬歲，抓住了，混蛋

320
00:17:16,076 --> 00:17:17,576
‎是約會對象發過來的

321
00:17:17,661 --> 00:17:19,711
‎-上面寫甚麼？
‎-嗨，帥哥

322
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:24,998
‎“如果你想要免費的西田集團
‎5000元禮品卷

323
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:29,545
‎那就去www.7677.net”

324
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,721
‎下面還附有超連結

325
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:35,301
‎真倒楣，我們的約會對象
‎應該是發垃圾郵件的機器人

326
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:40,479
‎再講一下西田集團的優惠吧
‎垃圾郵件機器人

327
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,849
‎我是垃圾郵件機器人，專吃午餐肉

328
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:45,306
‎在我這個以午餐肉
‎作為燃料的領袖面前下跪

329
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,357
‎我即將步進征服地球最後一個階段

330
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,074
‎真有魅力

331
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,322
‎垃圾郵件機器人
‎你覺得我們的“伊伏”怎麼樣？

332
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,775
‎一個不小心
‎搞不好等一下就把“伊伏”脫了

333
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:58,788
‎唐娜阿姨

334
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,869
‎唐娜阿姨的歡樂老屋

335
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,714
‎希望大家都愛第一季

336
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,540
‎不愛請滾，死人渣

337
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,335
‎開玩笑的，請繼續看

338
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,128
‎向垃圾郵件機器人下跪

339
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,052
‎他的爪子一下壓死你

340
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,920
‎有計劃地征服地球

341
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,837
‎吃午餐肉，再推翻政府

342
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,796
‎向垃圾郵件機器人下跪

343
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,722
‎偉大的垃圾郵件機器人

344
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:19,468
‎垃圾郵件機器人

345
00:18:19,556 --> 00:18:21,386
‎向垃圾郵件機器人下跪

346
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,385
‎向垃圾郵件機器人下跪

347
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,441
‎偉大的垃圾郵件機器人

348
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,061
‎垃圾郵件機器人

349
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,817
‎-向唐娜阿姨
‎-下跪

350
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,823
‎好好看、繼續看

351
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:36,778
‎-好好看、繼續看
‎-阿姨

352
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,828
‎字幕翻譯：李瑋樂