♪
♪ Everyone sing
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba
♪ Head in and dance with me
♪ Have fun and play with me
♪ And now it's time to stop
Narrator: Our Bears have been wandering these woods for quite some time.
Let's hope that they find a new home
before they pass out from exhaustion!
I hope we find a new home
before I pass out from box-warping exhaustion.
Well, if you're gonna faint, let me know.
I wanna get it on video.
[ Gasps ]
You smell something?
Whoa! Found a...
medical clinic?
You can smell buildings?
That's nothing. One time, he smelled my thoughts.
♪
Okay guys, it's time for
Operation Beg For A Home In A Cute But Not Desperate Way.
Hello?
Hello, sir or madam.
We notice you don't have any baby bears around.
Perhaps we could do you a favor by letting us live here.
We can cultivate a fun vibe,
'cause we're cute little babies.
Goo goo. Gaga.
this is a place of medicine, not a hotel!
Now get!
Hey, man. We're just trying to help you out.
I said,
"Fore!"
Hey! This is a violation of the Hippocratic oath!
Forget it, Grizz.
No one will ever let us live with them.
Squatter Otter: Yeah, because you're doing it all wrong.
All: Huh?
I didn't get to live here
by asking all polite at the front door.
You got to be strategic.
You got to live in the clinic?
But how?
I'm Squatter Otter.
Squatting's my name, and it is also my game.
Good to meet you. I'm Grizz. This is Panda.
Ice Bear represent.
Honored.
Hey, want some free medical supplies?
What?
Oh, go on. Take some.
Don't worry. This stuff was free.
Thanks.
But we should get going.
We're on a grand quest for a home,
and it's a whole thing.
Hold on, Pan.
I wanna hear more about this...
[slowed down] Squaw-teeng.
Yeah, squatting.
I'm great at finding a spot to live in,
even if it belongs to someone else.
Is that legal?
Probably. It's a gray area.
Ice Bear has never obeyed a single law.
I'm heading to my next spot.
I hear there's some prime-rib real estate nearby.
Wow! So cool! Hey, could we join you?
No, Grizz.
I don't think he'd want us to cramp his style.
Of course you can join.
I'm always looking for new apprentices.
I can teach you the ways of squatting.
[Whispers] I also know how to get free cable.
Ooh!
Follow me, boys. We're hot to squat.
Guys, come on.
Don't listen to him.
[ Grizz and Ice Bear chanting "Cable!" ]
This place is starting to give me the willies.
Just tough it out, Pants!
- It's Panda. - We're getting close.
I can feel it in my booty.
Listen to the man, Panda. He's an expert.
[Mocking] Listen to the man, Panda.
He's an expert.
Yeah, right.
Squatter Otter: There it is.
♪
Ha! He lead us to a house entirely made of meat?
Looks pretty gross, right, bros?
All: Meat!
Hold up.
We can't just walk into a house made of meat products.
It could be cursed.
It's a house and food.
We just cut our survival budget in half.
We've hit the jackpot.
But I'm vegetarian, so I can't eat any of it.
Vege-huh? But you got to eat meat.
You don't want to be a pipsqueak forever, do you?
Just to be fair, let's put it to a vote.
All in favor of living in the meat house?
All: Aye.
All opposed?
Nay.
Meat house it is. Booyah!
Looks like there's nobody here.
Ooh.
That means we can squat here, right?
That is right, Grizz, my man.
Look at this place --
no rent, fully furnished, and we can eat like kings
without ever getting ripped off at the grocery store.
Dig in, boys!
♪
Man: One, two.
- Best food ever. - Uh-huh.
- Looks good. - Yeah.
♪ Ground beef, ribeye, steak, home fries ♪
♪ Burgers with no cheese, and fries ♪
♪ Double-decker sandwich, bacon on rye ♪
♪ But when I get really hungry, it's potato pot pies ♪
♪ Eat the meat, eat the meat, eat the meat ♪
♪ Food makes me laugh
♪ Makes me cry
♪ I'm hungry all the time
♪
♪ Baby back ribs, baby back ribs ♪
♪ With my rack of lamb, it's the heartburn cleanse ♪
♪ Hot dogs, sausage, beef jerky, too ♪
♪ Organic chicken, and my mom's vegan stew ♪
♪ Food makes me laugh
♪ Makes me cry
♪
♪ I'm hungry all the time
♪ Eat the meat, eat the meat
Do you guys see any non-meat options around here?
Check the...
pantry.
Ugh!
[ Sighs ]
Hey, you guys wanna play a game?
- Yeah! - Ice bear is down.
Ooh, can we play
Go Fish?
Isn't that a game for little kids.
We're babies.
Well, I say we have a meat-eating contest.
Winner gets dibs on the honey-glazed ham bathtub.
Last one there's a rotten sausage link!
Time to hit the meat street boys.
Hey, Pants, why aren't you doing the meat-eating contest?
I told you already, I'm a vegetarian,
which means I don't eat meat.
Wait, that's for real?
I thought it was some kind of sick joke.
Oh, no, he's for real.
He never touches the stuff.
You are what you eat.
Panda not meat.
You never eat meat?
Even when it's free? What's the deal?
Well, the meat industry has a negative impact
on the planet, and I think we --
The planet?
My dude, the planet belongs to us.
We are the top of the carnivorous food chain,
and the world is our dinner plate.
Here. Try this.
Be a beast, for once in your life, and take a bite.
I, uh...
Come on.
Don't you wanna have a good time, like your brothers?
Yeah, Pan. Maybe you'll like it.
Beast it.
[ All chanting "Beast it!" ]
I...I...
I can't do it!
Squatter Otter: What do vegetarians even eat?
Sand?
What if I am a pipsqueak?
[ All yelling ]
Guys, what's happening?
[ All groaning ]
Oh, hey, Pants.
We got ourselves in a bit of a pickle, here.
I knew this house was cursed.
[ Groans ]
Save us, Panda.
How am I supposed to do that?
Is this helping?
How about that?
[ Yells ]
Snap out of it, Grizz!
There must be other ways!
To be honest, this is not the worst thing
that's ever happened to me.
[ Yells ]
Something is stuck to my butt.
That's it. The Doctor.
I just need to get all three of you there
before you're permanently meat.
[ Straining ]
Got to... get them...
out.
They're gonna become meat forever,
and there's nothing I can do about it.
[ Cries ]
Squatter Otter's right.
I am weak.
- Panda. - Huh?
Voice: Down here.
Listen to me, Panda.
Being vegetarian doesn't mean you're weak.
No, can of veggies, that's exactly what it means.
No, Panda. You can save them.
You just need to remember why you became vegetarian
in the first place.
Remember?
[ Coos ]
[ Speaking foreign language ]
That's right. I am strong!
Now, you're talking.
My name is Panda, and I'm a proud vegetarian!
Yes! Be proud, Panda!
♪
Thanks, talking can of veggies!
Go get them, Tiger.
We're...running... out of...time.
Just hold on a little longer.
I can see the clinic.
Huh? Oh, no!
The doctor's leaving!
Vegetable gods, grant me the strength to make it in time!
[ Yells ]
What happened?
Ice Bear thought he was toast -- or rather, ribs.
You boys had a classic case of cursed meat poisoning.
Three weeks of vegetable juice, and you'll be fine.
I've heard of cured meat, but cursed meat?
Come on. That was funny.
You would've turned into meat forever
if it wasn't for this little guy.
Hi, guys.
You carried us here all by yourself?
Whoa, Pan-Pan!
Incredible!
Splendisimo.
Aw, it was nothing.
I think it's time we mosey on out of here, bros.
Yes, sir!
Squatter Otter: Wait up.
I didn't know you had it in you, Pants -- I mean, Panda.
You're tough as nails, bud.
I hope we see each other again real soon.
You know what? Me, too.
[ All saying "Bye" ]
Narrator: Well, it looks like the meat house
was rich in protein and nightmares.
Luckily, Panda saved the day in his own Panda way.
♪ Eat the meat, eat the meat, eat the meat ♪
♪ Food makes me laugh
♪ Makes me cry