1 00:00:12,083 --> 00:00:14,541 SOCIALITE JOURNAL ERŞAN KUNERİ'S CINEMA DEBUT 2 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:15,958 Let's shoot in here. 3 00:00:16,708 --> 00:00:18,625 We can show everyone another room. 4 00:00:19,666 --> 00:00:25,375 I'd like to send the Erşan Kuneri fans out there a little kiss. 5 00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:29,708 Oh, and to all of you actors who like to reenact my films… 6 00:00:29,791 --> 00:00:31,333 …well done. 7 00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:34,750 You kids are doing great work. Kisses. 8 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,958 Tell us, Erşan, would you do a movie or drama 9 00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:38,208 if they asked you today? 10 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:39,958 -Oh, no, no, my dear. -You wouldn't? 11 00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:41,791 -Imagine me doing it. -Really? 12 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,166 At this age, imagine how I'd play. How could I? 13 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,333 -No, don't say that. -Drama? Ah, not for me. 14 00:00:46,416 --> 00:00:48,333 -Why not? -All that staring would bore me. 15 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,541 Besides, I'm well off financially. 16 00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:52,500 That's great. 17 00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:54,583 -I'd get bored. I know I would. -Right. 18 00:00:54,666 --> 00:00:57,583 Hey, listen, how would you like to hear 19 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,750 what a fan wrote to me on a postcard? 20 00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:00,916 Yes, please. 21 00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:02,958 "My dear Erşan." 22 00:01:03,041 --> 00:01:05,458 -Hmm. -He says he loves all my films, of course. 23 00:01:06,166 --> 00:01:07,916 Then he calls me a "sly fucker." 24 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,833 Can you believe that? 25 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:11,625 That's my fan base for you. 26 00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:13,791 -Yeah. -"Sly fucker." That's what he calls me. 27 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:18,291 "The Şeker Pasha film was great. Who'd you steal the idea from?" 28 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,583 -Oh! -Who did I steal it from? 29 00:01:20,666 --> 00:01:21,750 Same as always. 30 00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:24,833 From the best, of course. The very best. 31 00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:27,083 Picasso said that, you know. 32 00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:31,000 He said an artist should steal from the best. 33 00:01:31,083 --> 00:01:33,208 And that's where I stole for Şeker Pasha. 34 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,541 In this heat, a fur coat? 35 00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:52,208 I don't care if I roast. I waited for this long enough. 36 00:01:52,291 --> 00:01:53,208 Hmm. 37 00:01:57,625 --> 00:02:00,250 -Now, that is true love. -Yeah, it was on sale. 38 00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:02,041 -Hmm. -Hey, so how's it going? 39 00:02:02,125 --> 00:02:04,791 Mami, I think I have really done it this time. 40 00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:07,708 I finished the scene where Muhsin gets out of prison. 41 00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,791 Um, he comes backstage. 42 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,625 Ali Nazik says, 43 00:02:11,708 --> 00:02:14,791 "Oh, master, I had to save myself" to him. 44 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,291 Muhsin just goes, 45 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,708 "How'd that work out for ya?" 46 00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:22,083 I can already see the audience just… 47 00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:24,625 Really, this is something new, man, totally new. 48 00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:27,625 Well, that's great. Erşan, this script is incredible. 49 00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:30,541 I mean, you've really outdone yourself with this thing. 50 00:02:30,625 --> 00:02:34,208 To me, this script is about more than those years. 51 00:02:34,291 --> 00:02:36,666 It's about the old world we've lost 52 00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:39,208 and all of the values we used to have. 53 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:45,416 Yavuz, come in. 54 00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,625 Oh, Yavuz, Fahriye Abla was an amazing film. 55 00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:50,875 That was a really great story. 56 00:02:50,958 --> 00:02:52,958 -Coffee? -No, I'm not staying. 57 00:02:53,041 --> 00:02:56,333 Erşan, by chance were you in the Galatasaray baths last week? 58 00:02:56,416 --> 00:02:57,250 I was. 59 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,708 I left a file behind in the locker room. 60 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:01,625 A script. Muhsin Bey. 61 00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,000 Muhsin Bey, but-- 62 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,625 And worst of all, it was the only copy. 63 00:03:07,208 --> 00:03:09,333 I was miserable when I couldn't find it. 64 00:03:09,416 --> 00:03:11,708 I think you left the baths holding a file, didn't you? 65 00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:15,208 Oh, Yavuz, buddy, what I was holding was, 66 00:03:15,291 --> 00:03:17,291 uh… 67 00:03:17,958 --> 00:03:19,083 Ali Nazik. 68 00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:22,125 You son of a bitch. That's my masterpiece you took. 69 00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:32,000 Look, Yavuz. 70 00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,541 Yes, I took your script, 71 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:36,083 'cause you're my favorite filmmaker. 72 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:40,541 I mean, I love you as much as I love cinema. 73 00:03:40,625 --> 00:03:43,708 So, that's why I stole it. It's love, Yavuz. 74 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,625 And compared to love, what does life matter? 75 00:03:46,708 --> 00:03:49,041 Nice line and I forgive you. 76 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,166 I'll use that in one of my movies. 77 00:03:51,250 --> 00:03:53,000 Of course, go right ahead. 78 00:03:53,083 --> 00:03:56,500 Hey, uh, if I stole from Tosun Pasha, would that be all right? 79 00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:59,458 So, instead of writing anything, you're hellbent on stealing? 80 00:03:59,541 --> 00:04:00,375 Yeah. 81 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,541 I would kill myself if this was lost. 82 00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:04,208 Since you found my script, 83 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:05,375 I'll allow it this once. 84 00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:07,583 -Tosun Pasha is at your disposal. -Thank you. 85 00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:10,958 Hey, Yavuz, you know those comedians Uğur and Necati? 86 00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,208 Let me tell you something. 87 00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:14,541 I think that Uğur is perfect for Ali Nazik. 88 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:16,291 Cast him in the movie, will ya? 89 00:04:16,375 --> 00:04:18,333 It's early, but perhaps. 90 00:04:18,416 --> 00:04:21,000 We'll see. Hopefully. We'll try. 91 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:26,208 Isn't it great when movie people support each other? 92 00:04:26,291 --> 00:04:29,500 Yeah, right. I knew there was something fishy going on. 93 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:33,125 You've been bullshitting me all week about Beyoğlu and lost values. 94 00:04:33,208 --> 00:04:34,916 -You're shameless. -Gimme a break! 95 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,916 Look, Yavuz was mature about it. 96 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,166 It's not the world that's lost. It's humanity. 97 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,416 What's your problem? I don't have time for this. 98 00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:44,083 Tülay, get me the script for Tosun Pasha. 99 00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,125 -But it was improvised. -Go watch it and write down all the lines. 100 00:04:47,208 --> 00:04:48,708 We'll need a frisky soundtrack. 101 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,833 Like this. You heard it yourself. 102 00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:54,958 The guy literally told me to steal from Tosun Pasha. 103 00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,041 Oh. 104 00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:06,583 Şeker Bahri. Tosun Pasha. Şeker Pasha. 105 00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:13,541 I'll wait till she's done. 106 00:05:14,916 --> 00:05:17,333 MONTAGE INDUSTRIES LLC 107 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,916 Necati! 108 00:05:21,541 --> 00:05:22,583 Necati! 109 00:05:22,666 --> 00:05:25,166 -Necati, where are the girls? -In the living room. 110 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,791 Damn it. This is just my luck. 111 00:05:26,875 --> 00:05:29,666 Of course this happens when we were almost out of the woods. 112 00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:32,666 You mind showing me that diamond? I wanna see it. 113 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,208 Now, you listen here. 114 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:37,750 If I catch you drinking any of this shit while the pasha's here, 115 00:05:37,833 --> 00:05:40,958 I'll cut your balls off and give them to the girls as earrings. 116 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,083 -Understand me? -All right, Dad. 117 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,250 I promise. Not even a sip, okay? 118 00:05:45,333 --> 00:05:46,416 Nartane! 119 00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:48,083 Nurtane! 120 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:49,833 Yektane! 121 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:53,791 SUGAR PASHA 122 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,083 İkrah, hey. 123 00:05:55,166 --> 00:05:57,666 Pour some of that right in here, please. 124 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:58,708 Help me out. 125 00:05:59,375 --> 00:06:00,833 Did you hear what he said? 126 00:06:01,666 --> 00:06:03,083 No, what did he say? 127 00:06:04,208 --> 00:06:05,166 What did he say? 128 00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,333 Nezaket. 129 00:06:09,416 --> 00:06:10,916 Okay, don't worry, I got this. 130 00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,666 All right, girls, listen to me. 131 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,583 So I had to make a quick decision. 132 00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:18,791 The telegram gave me no chance to refuse. 133 00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:20,500 Um, are we in character right now? 134 00:06:20,583 --> 00:06:22,500 Yes, we stay in character. 135 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:25,541 It's critical that we pay attention to the way we act. 136 00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:26,833 Don't embarrass yourselves. 137 00:06:26,916 --> 00:06:28,416 Şeker Pasha will be here. 138 00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:31,291 His aide Mr. Şuğnu is with him. Two people. 139 00:06:31,375 --> 00:06:34,875 They'll be here spending the weekend with us for just a couple of days. 140 00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:37,583 I still haven't found a replacement for the diamond. 141 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:41,291 Of course, the original one is here with me. 142 00:06:42,625 --> 00:06:45,708 When the replacement arrives, we'll switch it with this one 143 00:06:45,791 --> 00:06:48,250 and get out of here as fast as we can. 144 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,833 But you said they're asking for your daughter's hand. 145 00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:52,833 Which one of us is it? 146 00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:55,041 Yeah, did they say anything about that? 147 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,041 No, they didn't mention that. 148 00:06:58,125 --> 00:06:59,500 It doesn't matter, does it? 149 00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:01,291 You can't be too careful. 150 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,375 Yes, exactly. 151 00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:05,500 I mean, what if he wants to marry me? I'd have to see him first. 152 00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:06,583 I will if I like him. 153 00:07:06,666 --> 00:07:08,125 Don't be ridiculous. 154 00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:09,916 It's my daughter. I decide who she marries. 155 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,125 That's what I'll say to him. 156 00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:12,458 To Şeker Pasha? 157 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,416 Do you really think if we tell him that, he'll just accept it? 158 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,916 That's right. Şeker Pasha will go if we tell him to. 159 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,500 -Why wouldn't he? -I'm not so sure, Kirkor. 160 00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:24,208 All of Egypt belongs to him. And I heard he's bought half of Üsküdar. 161 00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:26,458 Good Lord! I still don't understand 162 00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:29,291 why any man would need an entire province. 163 00:07:29,375 --> 00:07:31,166 It doesn't matter to us anyway. 164 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:35,000 They're coming, and we will host them in a kind, considerate manner. 165 00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,666 -And send them on. Understand? -Hey, Kirkor? 166 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,291 Don't call me that, you idiot! 167 00:07:41,666 --> 00:07:42,583 Here they are. 168 00:07:42,666 --> 00:07:46,125 Leave the introductions to me. I will welcome him like the soldier he is. 169 00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:49,833 Where's the sword? I'll get the sword. Where is it? I know military discipline. 170 00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:52,291 I will give him the best greeting you've ever seen. 171 00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:55,583 Bekir, my son. Bekir, stop. Will you calm down? 172 00:07:55,666 --> 00:07:57,166 -The guy is a pasha. -Bekir, calm down. 173 00:07:57,250 --> 00:07:59,083 Hey, wait! Damn it, wait! 174 00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:13,875 -Stop, man. Hold on. -Bekir, don't you do it. That's enough. 175 00:08:13,958 --> 00:08:17,083 You cut me, you fucking moron. 176 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,166 Present! 177 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,791 -Oh, can you believe this? -Sir, just play along. 178 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:24,916 Pasha, you are most welcome. I'm Agah at your service. 179 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,708 How are you, Master Agah? Thanks for having us. 180 00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:29,000 Please. The honor is mine. 181 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:32,583 Hey, boss, I heard you own half of Üsküdar? Is that true? 182 00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:35,583 I'm sorry. The boy is mad. 183 00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,666 This is my son Necati. 184 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:39,000 We welcome you, Pasha. 185 00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,291 You do, do you? 186 00:08:40,375 --> 00:08:44,458 Bless you, son, bless you. Mr. Şuğnu, Agah's son and you are alike. 187 00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:47,791 -See it? -I don't follow, Pasha. 188 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:50,333 -I'm only kidding. Please. -The pasha and his jokes. 189 00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:52,041 His schedule is full, so if you don't mind. 190 00:08:52,125 --> 00:08:54,375 -Not at all, sir. Please. -This mansion is sick. 191 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:56,458 Yes, Pasha, we have some problems with the roof. 192 00:08:56,541 --> 00:08:59,000 The carpenter is fixing it next week. 193 00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:02,000 We have some minor financial issues, if you know what I mean. 194 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,583 -No, no, it's really sick. Very nice. -We like it. Right this way, Pasha. 195 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:06,750 Please, sir. 196 00:09:07,583 --> 00:09:08,416 Stop it. 197 00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:16,083 Agah, it was a very bumpy journey. 198 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:20,333 I'm afraid it was quite an uncomfortable ride for the pasha in that carriage. 199 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,166 The horses were running wild. 200 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:25,041 The poor pasha got no sleep, but we made it. 201 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:26,208 I can never sleep. 202 00:09:26,291 --> 00:09:30,083 I can't sleep with someone else driving me. I always keep one eye open. 203 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,416 Oh, thanks, sweetie. 204 00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,458 Here, Pasha, here's your tea. 205 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,791 Pasha, this is my daughter Yektane. 206 00:09:38,875 --> 00:09:40,541 M-My pleasure, miss. 207 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,500 Sweetie, please serve his aide. 208 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:48,083 Miss Yektane, I don't need coffee, but I would take your Turkish delight. 209 00:09:49,958 --> 00:09:53,000 -I was in Crimea for my military service. -You were? 210 00:09:53,083 --> 00:09:54,250 Where were you stationed? 211 00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:55,208 In the cafeteria. 212 00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:57,375 -Wow! That's where I served as well. -Yeah. 213 00:09:57,458 --> 00:09:59,166 Oh. 214 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,958 The pasha's jokes are only for the quick-witted. 215 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,333 Of course. 216 00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:07,500 The pasha is cute, but then again, so is his aide. 217 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:10,333 We just need to focus on getting out of this safely. 218 00:10:10,416 --> 00:10:13,250 So gross. He said he wanted my "Turkish delight." 219 00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:15,958 I've never seen such audacity. Hmm! 220 00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,583 I'm sure you didn't flirt with him at all, little Miss Hot Pants. 221 00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:24,083 Master Agah, you probably already know what our intentions are. 222 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,958 When would you like to proceed? 223 00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:28,291 After a few days, over the weekend maybe? 224 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,916 And tell me, where will my pasha sleep? 225 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,458 Necati, for the pasha's quarters 226 00:10:33,958 --> 00:10:37,041 prepare the large guest room, if you please, 227 00:10:37,125 --> 00:10:39,208 and for his aide, the small room next door. 228 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:42,500 Right. We'll need to room together for security reasons. 229 00:10:42,583 --> 00:10:44,458 Hey, chief, if anyone tries fucking with you, 230 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,416 I'll fuck them back till they pass out. 231 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:49,000 Bekir, Bekir, I think you need some air. 232 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:52,375 -Necati, Bekir could use some fresh air. -Mnh-mnh. 233 00:10:56,166 --> 00:10:58,541 -Son-in-law, I assume. -Yes, I'm afraid so. 234 00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,958 God punished me with my son-in-law. 235 00:11:01,041 --> 00:11:03,083 Don't worry, sir. We're here to turn your luck around. 236 00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:05,333 There are in-laws, and there are in-laws. 237 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:06,666 You're too kind, sir. 238 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,958 -Uh, your luggage? -Well, we don't have any. 239 00:11:09,041 --> 00:11:12,208 My sire just travels with a little bag, like this one. 240 00:11:12,291 --> 00:11:13,916 He always wears the same outfit, you see. 241 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,291 So, he says he doesn't need luggage. Really. 242 00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,625 It's true, Agah. You understand… 243 00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,833 …no matter where I am, this is all I need. 244 00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:23,250 Look, show you what I mean. Just my toothbrush. 245 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,541 And that's about it, sir. Just this and this. 246 00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,833 Yes, of course, sir, very good. 247 00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:29,625 And three daughters, was it? 248 00:11:29,708 --> 00:11:31,916 No, I have four daughters. Three maidens. 249 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,750 That's the pasha's lucky number. 250 00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:39,083 -Your quarters, Pasha. -Perfect. 251 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,166 Well, sir, 252 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:43,708 after a little pee and poo, we'll be right downstairs, won't we? 253 00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:46,125 -Oh, yes, of course. -Certainly, sir. Be my guest. 254 00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:47,958 Thank you, Master Agah. See you. 255 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:51,916 My, my, my, my, my. 256 00:11:52,791 --> 00:11:56,125 Hey, man, the girl is pretty, huh? Don't you think? 257 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,083 The cafeteria in Crimea. 258 00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:00,375 I was just kidding with them. 259 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:02,083 What's with the theatrics? 260 00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:04,083 Man, I just read the room and improvised. 261 00:12:04,166 --> 00:12:05,875 Listen, that man isn't stupid. 262 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,916 We have two days, Apti. Two days. So, stop playing around. 263 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,916 So how are we getting him to show us the diamond? We had it written down. 264 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,833 -We did. Yeah, hang on. -Stick to the script. Make it sound clear. 265 00:12:14,916 --> 00:12:15,916 Right, hang on. 266 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,333 Ah. 267 00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:18,750 -"Master." -Good. 268 00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:22,458 "I want to offer my future bride a wedding gift of equal value." 269 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:24,208 -"We should have it appraised." -Appraised. 270 00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,375 That's what it says here. 271 00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:29,750 But I could add, "Agah, you sly bastard" to help sell it. 272 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,958 Look, man, this is not a horse auction. 273 00:12:32,041 --> 00:12:33,875 Just say what's on the damn page. 274 00:12:34,458 --> 00:12:37,375 Mm, that girl. Mm. She's really something else, boss. 275 00:12:37,458 --> 00:12:39,958 Oh, I wish we could take her with us. 276 00:12:40,541 --> 00:12:41,958 The girls are pretty. 277 00:12:42,041 --> 00:12:44,291 Especially the one with those eyes. 278 00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,791 -Which one? -Whichever. Who cares? 279 00:12:46,875 --> 00:12:49,833 But seriously, there's no place for emotions in our line of work, okay? 280 00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:51,916 Flirt all you want, but never fall in love. 281 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,875 Listen, man, once we have that diamond, we can have any girl we want. 282 00:12:55,958 --> 00:12:57,291 Can we buy half of Üsküdar? 283 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,958 Kid, when we're done, we can buy all of it. 284 00:13:00,041 --> 00:13:02,458 I have an idea. At some point, I could say, 285 00:13:02,541 --> 00:13:05,000 "Aide, come to me!" And give you a little slap. 286 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,291 Well, if you have to. 287 00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:09,750 Okay, cool. I'll keep that in mind. 288 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,250 Okay, we should poop now. 289 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:12,458 I don't need to. 290 00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:17,791 Kirkor, I have a really bad feeling about those two. 291 00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:19,208 Have patience, woman. 292 00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:21,583 It's too late now to leave everything and run. 293 00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:23,625 Bekir, you moron, are you deaf? 294 00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:27,333 I told you not to get drunk. You're going to ruin everything, you fool. 295 00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,875 Look, Kirkor, we're almost through with this thing. 296 00:13:29,958 --> 00:13:30,833 Just take it easy. 297 00:13:30,916 --> 00:13:33,250 Necati, go to Şişhane at once. 298 00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:37,083 Track down that craftsman and bring back the replacement stone. 299 00:13:37,166 --> 00:13:38,125 Got it. I'll go soon. 300 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,833 I don't trust that pasha and his aide one bit. 301 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:43,791 Perhaps, I can even make them leave right after dinner. 302 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:45,875 Hold on, babe, what's the hurry? 303 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,375 Look at the girls. They're on fire. 304 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:50,583 Maybe one of them will end up a pasha's wife from this charade. 305 00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:51,750 You never know, do you? 306 00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:53,625 Come on, girl, what are you talking about? 307 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,541 Ladies, do you hear yourselves? 308 00:13:55,625 --> 00:13:57,958 After we get the diamond, we're getting the hell out. 309 00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,916 What are you talking about, "pasha's wife"? 310 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,750 As soon as we have the diamond, you're all gonna live like sultans. 311 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,125 My God! What's wrong with you? 312 00:14:04,208 --> 00:14:05,500 I, for one, like the pasha. 313 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:09,041 We're surrounded by acrobats, singers, musicians. 314 00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:12,375 Having a pasha friend would be great. I think you're wrong about this, Kirkor. 315 00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:13,666 I'm sorry, but I gotta say it. 316 00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:15,291 Oh, shut up, you drunk. 317 00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:17,583 Just remember, we have to be out of this house 318 00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:20,250 before the real Agah and his family show up here. 319 00:14:23,208 --> 00:14:26,375 And that's why I'm the great Kirkor of Papatyan. 320 00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:30,416 I have what it takes to see this little drama of ours through to the end. 321 00:14:31,125 --> 00:14:34,958 Oh, my goodness. You have spared no expense on us. 322 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:38,041 Everything looks wonderful, Master Agah. 323 00:14:38,125 --> 00:14:41,916 Pasha, that mutton leg is from the Balıkesir region. 324 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,500 You know, that animal was fed on nothing but wild thyme. 325 00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:46,541 Oh, sir, this is all way too much, really. 326 00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:48,791 -Sir, would you like some? -Ah. 327 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,416 Well, you know, Master Agah, 328 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,708 we've had a chance to get to know each other. 329 00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:55,041 You think sherbet is the way to go? 330 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,916 Perhaps some wine is more to your taste. 331 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:01,125 Bekir, pour a glass of wine for the pasha, if you would. 332 00:15:02,208 --> 00:15:04,708 Well, sir, you know, as long as you can hold your liquor. 333 00:15:04,791 --> 00:15:05,750 -Right. -Yes, certainly. 334 00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,166 Pasha likes to drink, and he's not shy about it. 335 00:15:11,708 --> 00:15:12,708 Sir. 336 00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,666 Merlot. 337 00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,208 And what a Merlot. 338 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:21,041 -I can tell from the smell of your breath. -And you, Mr. Aide. 339 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,666 Excuse me, Father, may I have a word? 340 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:26,333 Of course. Pasha, excuse me. Would you mind if I… 341 00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:27,625 No, not at all. 342 00:15:30,708 --> 00:15:31,541 What's wrong, man? 343 00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:32,458 Here, boss. 344 00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:35,416 He said if anyone can tell this from the real thing, they can fuck him. 345 00:15:35,916 --> 00:15:36,833 Wow! 346 00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,291 Master Ara said that? 347 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:40,916 That's confidence. Okay, good to know. 348 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,833 -All right, show it to me. -They're the same. They're the same! 349 00:15:43,916 --> 00:15:45,833 Holy shit balls! 350 00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:49,291 He may be a tricky bastard, but that Ara is a real artist. 351 00:15:49,375 --> 00:15:51,208 It's an exact replica. Well done. 352 00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:52,791 Let me see it, Kirkor. 353 00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:55,583 -He's really done an exact replica. -Careful. 354 00:15:56,208 --> 00:16:00,250 I mean, wow. Let me see that. An exact replica. 355 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:03,416 You gotta hand it to the man. This is the real one? 356 00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:04,833 Yes, that's the real one. 357 00:16:04,916 --> 00:16:06,791 Hey, wait a second. You can't do that. 358 00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:09,916 Now this. Now, this is the real one. 359 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,583 No, that's the one I brought with me. You took that one from me. 360 00:16:12,666 --> 00:16:14,750 -You take this. That's it. Here you go. -Wait. 361 00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,958 -I brought the replica. -Shh! All right, easy. 362 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:20,166 -Kirkor, keep this, so there's no mix-up. -Which one is the real one? 363 00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:21,541 It's that one. 364 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:22,583 -Is it? -You take this. 365 00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,208 -Keep it so we won't get confused. -You moron. Stupid drunken mutt. 366 00:16:25,291 --> 00:16:28,041 How could you do this? Why would you shuffle them around? 367 00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:31,041 -Now I can't tell which is which. -No shuffling. So, is this it? 368 00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:34,000 -Give it to me. Asshole, hand it over. -Don't get confused. Don't mix 'em. 369 00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:35,208 Hand it over! 370 00:16:35,291 --> 00:16:36,458 Master Agah. 371 00:16:36,541 --> 00:16:37,666 May I help you? 372 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:38,916 Dinner's getting cold. 373 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,125 Sir, I have something I need to sort out. I'll be right with you. 374 00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:45,291 I was gonna ask you to take out that Buffalo's Eye diamond after dinner 375 00:16:45,375 --> 00:16:47,166 so that we can all feast our eyes on it. 376 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:50,750 The pasha has been asking about it since the road. He'd like to see it. 377 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:53,916 I'll go polish it up for you, my friend, and we'll be right with you. 378 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 You polish it. 379 00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,541 -Here, go and polish this fucking thing. -Okay. 380 00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:01,916 Nah, it doesn't need polish. 381 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,125 Oh, yeah, it doesn't need polish? 382 00:17:05,208 --> 00:17:08,958 We don't need to polish it, you stupid fucking douchebag? 383 00:17:09,041 --> 00:17:11,333 How the hell can I tell them apart? 384 00:17:11,416 --> 00:17:13,625 We already know it's that one, isn't it? 385 00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,375 Oh! 386 00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:18,541 Oh, I'm very curious, Your Excellency. 387 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:20,125 I don't know if you've heard, 388 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:23,500 but Hatayspor and Silistra will be playing at the stadium. 389 00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:24,833 Do you plan to attend? 390 00:17:24,916 --> 00:17:27,583 I think Silistra will win 2-0. 391 00:17:28,291 --> 00:17:29,791 I see. What about you, sir? 392 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:34,166 Ma'am, you know that new football club? It's only 15-days-old. 393 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,625 -Fenerbahçe. -In Kadıköy. 394 00:17:35,708 --> 00:17:37,500 Yeah, that's who I support. 395 00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:40,875 They give you that tense, always on-the-edge feeling. 396 00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:44,541 We watched a game at Papazın Çayırı. We led the whole time. 397 00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:47,583 We were still like, that's how supporting Fenerbahçe is. 398 00:17:47,666 --> 00:17:49,208 It's always intense. 399 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:52,416 They said they'd hire a new coach, but I'll believe it when I see it. 400 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:53,750 And your favorite novel? 401 00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:56,583 Um, Superman, he's great. 402 00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:58,541 Exactly. Superman. 403 00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,416 -Superman is just-- I mean, wow. -You're right. He's amazing. 404 00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:05,666 My favorite novel is by Recaizade Mahmud Ekrem. Araba Sevdası. 405 00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:06,583 Wow. 406 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,833 Son of a gun! I mean, what? 407 00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:12,125 Really, he's a fine dude. 408 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:13,958 He's got some decent passages. 409 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:17,000 -There's too much fuss about this guy. -Yeah, nothing to write home about. 410 00:18:17,083 --> 00:18:19,333 -I mean, really. Overrated. -Yeah. 411 00:18:19,416 --> 00:18:21,833 That's my aide. Now, listen to me. 412 00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:26,166 Agah, let's see the diamond, that Buffalo's Eye. 413 00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:28,583 -We'll celebrate it together. -Certainly, sir. 414 00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,666 He asked about it the whole trip. 415 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:33,208 -Very well, sir. Here. Let me show you. -So… 416 00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:37,000 Here's our world-famous family heirloom, the Buffalo's Eye. 417 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,916 If you'll allow me, I'll say a few words about its worth. 418 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,583 To this day, no jeweler has ever been able to appraise it. 419 00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,291 Could you buy Üsküdar with it? 420 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,458 More, more, Üsküdar's nothing. 421 00:18:48,541 --> 00:18:51,750 That much, huh? Wow. Bağlarbaşı? 422 00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:55,875 Bağlarbaşı, Hekimbaşı, Çavuşbaşı, all of them. 423 00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:58,250 I can hardly believe that, really. 424 00:18:58,333 --> 00:19:00,541 -And now I'll put it away. -Not so fast, Agah. 425 00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:01,833 Agah. 426 00:19:01,916 --> 00:19:04,208 Agah, afraid I'll swallow it? 427 00:19:04,291 --> 00:19:06,250 I didn't mean that, sir, not at all. 428 00:19:06,333 --> 00:19:08,000 -No, no. Put it in my hand. -That's right. 429 00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:09,291 You're embarrassing me. 430 00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,916 -Put it in my hand, please! -Yeah, go ahead. 431 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,875 -Sir, maybe you should slow down. -Let me feel it before you put it away. 432 00:19:16,291 --> 00:19:17,125 What's the rush? 433 00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,916 -My sire's jokes. -Oh, yeah. 434 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,666 -Very funny. -For the quick-witted. Right. 435 00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,500 That's the Buffalo's Eye. 436 00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:26,916 -Oh, yes. -May it bring fortune to its owner. 437 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,708 Yes, may I have it back, sir, if you're done with it? 438 00:19:29,791 --> 00:19:32,708 -Mind if I take a look as well? Yeah. -Not at all, sir, please. 439 00:19:32,791 --> 00:19:34,416 -Go ahead. -Come to me. 440 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:38,208 Very nice, very nice. 441 00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:40,791 -Agah. -What is it, Pasha? 442 00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,875 -All right, thank you. Here it is. -They're pretty. 443 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,583 -Yes, sir. -The girls are pretty. 444 00:19:45,666 --> 00:19:46,625 Thank you, Pasha. 445 00:19:46,708 --> 00:19:49,083 Prettiest thing I've ever fucking seen. 446 00:19:49,166 --> 00:19:50,333 -Sir. -Come in here. 447 00:19:50,416 --> 00:19:51,791 -Yes. -Eh… 448 00:19:51,875 --> 00:19:54,083 Will you call me "son-in-law"? 449 00:19:54,166 --> 00:19:56,375 -Sir. -Can I call you "Daddy Bear"? 450 00:19:56,458 --> 00:19:58,833 -You're hilarious. -Pasha, let's slow down, Pasha. 451 00:19:58,916 --> 00:19:59,916 Let's slow down a bit. 452 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,583 Would the pasha like a sorbet perhaps? 453 00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:05,458 Mm. I would very much like that. 454 00:20:06,666 --> 00:20:08,583 I'm so fucking wasted, Dilaver. 455 00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:16,208 -Easy, Pasha, Pasha. We're okay. -Mr. Aide. 456 00:20:16,791 --> 00:20:19,166 Would you like for me to play a little music? 457 00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,791 Oh, please. Please, do. I need to use to bathroom, please. 458 00:20:21,875 --> 00:20:23,375 -Excuse me. -Of course, please. 459 00:20:28,416 --> 00:20:30,916 I will be back in a second. 460 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000 I'd drink this shit every day… 461 00:20:34,625 --> 00:20:37,291 Come on, I've got it. Let's get out of here. 462 00:20:37,375 --> 00:20:39,458 Wait a second. They mixed up the diamonds. 463 00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:42,000 -The one you've got may not be real. -Mixed up how? 464 00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:42,916 Nezaket. 465 00:20:43,583 --> 00:20:46,000 Of course, sir, the bathroom is that way. 466 00:20:46,083 --> 00:20:46,916 Thank you, ma'am. 467 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,416 We're screwed. 468 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:54,166 We can't leave yet. The diamonds are mixed up. 469 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:56,250 I know. I know. Bekir told me. 470 00:20:59,166 --> 00:21:01,875 Do you happen to have a lute I could play? 471 00:21:01,958 --> 00:21:04,333 I'm not sure. It's upstairs. Check upstairs. 472 00:21:14,375 --> 00:21:17,583 I need to examine the other stone. To compare the copies. 473 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,083 We'll talk tonight. 474 00:21:19,166 --> 00:21:21,416 -I wish I could-- -Stop it! 475 00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:37,166 Play that thing, my friend. 476 00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:40,208 Bravo! 477 00:21:40,291 --> 00:21:42,500 ♪ Is that a horseman I see? ♪ 478 00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:47,041 ♪ Ask him if he's from Baghdad ♪ 479 00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:52,041 ♪ Ask him if he's from Baghdad ♪ 480 00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:56,833 ♪ I'm head over heels again Trembling all over… ♪ 481 00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:07,791 -I know this seems bad. -What are we gonna do with those guys? 482 00:22:07,875 --> 00:22:08,750 Listen, kids, 483 00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:12,291 we can no longer replace the real stone with the fake one, okay? 484 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:14,000 As soon as they're asleep, 485 00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:16,458 we're gonna take the two stones and get out of here. 486 00:22:16,541 --> 00:22:17,666 Kirkor, hold on. 487 00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:21,041 The aide switched them at the table. There are three stones. How can we leave? 488 00:22:21,125 --> 00:22:23,083 -Oh, fucking hell! -Oh, no! 489 00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:24,375 Three stones? 490 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,791 How can we know which one is which, huh? 491 00:22:26,875 --> 00:22:29,333 I mean, every game should have rules, right? 492 00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:31,458 -What's going on? -We can't leave yet. 493 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:34,791 Why do you have the stone anyway, Kirkor? Give it here. 494 00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:40,666 ♪ I'm head over heels again Trembling all over ♪ 495 00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:45,041 ♪ I'm falling in love all over again ♪ 496 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,583 ♪ I'm head over heels again Trembling all over ♪ 497 00:22:49,666 --> 00:22:51,250 ♪ I'm falling in love… ♪ 498 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,791 Guys, stop it! 499 00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:57,000 -Stop the music! Just hang on a second. -Pasha, maybe we should-- 500 00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,500 Quiet now, aide. Your master's speaking. 501 00:23:01,041 --> 00:23:02,500 -Pasha. -Yektane. 502 00:23:02,583 --> 00:23:03,416 Yeah. 503 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:07,958 You are more precious than any diamond. 504 00:23:09,875 --> 00:23:13,666 And I would give away half of Üsküdar for you. 505 00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:15,458 -Get over here, my aide. -Oh! 506 00:23:15,541 --> 00:23:16,833 -My pasha. -Give her the deed. 507 00:23:16,916 --> 00:23:18,208 Your Excellency. 508 00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:20,708 -Sir. -Yektane is upset. Please, it's okay. 509 00:23:20,791 --> 00:23:24,625 Pasha, maybe her brother could get a piece, just a small piece of Üsküdar? 510 00:23:24,708 --> 00:23:26,958 -Who's this prick? -Wait, hold on. 511 00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:30,208 -I'm her brother Necati. -Necat-- Necati. 512 00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:32,375 -Look, I'm sorry. -Why didn't you just say so, huh? 513 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:36,125 -I'm really sorry. Forgive us. -It's okay. It's okay. 514 00:23:36,208 --> 00:23:37,750 -It's okay, man. -He didn't do anything. 515 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:41,208 No, we're good. I just kissed him. We're good. 516 00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:44,000 -Wait a minute. Wait a minute! -Master Agah, let's take him to bed. 517 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:47,291 Everyone's invited to my engagement party right here tomorrow night. 518 00:23:47,375 --> 00:23:48,250 Oh, no, no, no, no. 519 00:23:48,333 --> 00:23:50,083 -Sir, we'll be there. -Promise me you'll come. 520 00:23:50,166 --> 00:23:52,875 Absolutely. We'd be glad to. Anything for you, sir. 521 00:23:52,958 --> 00:23:55,541 -Master Agah, let's take the pasha to bed. -Yes, this way. 522 00:23:55,625 --> 00:23:58,208 -Let's go. Come on. -All right, sir, let's get you to bed. 523 00:23:58,291 --> 00:24:01,041 -I didn't mean to upset-- I'm in love. -Sir, please, listen-- 524 00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,583 I'm in love! 525 00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:04,416 Sir, listen, this is upsetting me now. 526 00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,875 -You're upset with me? -Please, sir. 527 00:24:05,958 --> 00:24:07,416 Look, the ladies are upset too. 528 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:10,125 First of all, I'm sorry, everyone. I'd like to apologize. 529 00:24:10,208 --> 00:24:13,291 -It's okay. It's okay. -Am I upsetting you? 530 00:24:13,375 --> 00:24:14,833 Yes, I am upset. 531 00:24:14,916 --> 00:24:17,333 -I am so sorry. I'm sorry. -I'm really upset. All right. 532 00:24:17,416 --> 00:24:20,250 I mean it. This is disturbing Master Agah's household. 533 00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:23,875 -I am so sorry. I am so sorry. -It's okay. It's okay. Really, it's okay. 534 00:24:23,958 --> 00:24:26,541 You've been a great host. This has been great. 535 00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,875 -Let's go up to bed. -Hang on. Wait a minute, please. 536 00:24:28,958 --> 00:24:31,083 -Hang on a minute. -No, sir. 537 00:24:32,041 --> 00:24:33,791 -I just-- -Listen to me. 538 00:24:33,875 --> 00:24:35,375 I just wanna say 539 00:24:35,875 --> 00:24:39,166 it's fucking bullshit the way you patronize me 540 00:24:39,250 --> 00:24:40,875 just for mixing up my lines. 541 00:24:40,958 --> 00:24:42,708 -Asshole! -Whoa, Pasha. 542 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:47,875 That's it. Throw it all up. 543 00:24:50,125 --> 00:24:52,500 Ugh! Man, I feel terrible. 544 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,791 It's all because I mixed wine with raki. 545 00:24:55,875 --> 00:24:56,958 I drank too fast. 546 00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:00,666 Oh, it must have been moonshine. 547 00:25:00,750 --> 00:25:02,791 I hope so. I hope you go blind, you bastard! 548 00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:06,833 Wait a minute. Did you get the stone? 549 00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:09,666 I did, but we can't leave. They switched the damn things. 550 00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:11,666 What? Who? 551 00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:13,291 Listen up. 552 00:25:13,375 --> 00:25:14,916 I'll tell them I'm Şeker Pasha. 553 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,958 I'll tell them you switched places with me. 554 00:25:17,041 --> 00:25:19,666 You got it? Tomorrow, you're the aide. I'm the pasha. 555 00:25:19,750 --> 00:25:22,625 No, you're not. You're not the pasha. I am. 556 00:25:22,708 --> 00:25:24,458 Yeah, so you can take a shit in the foyer? 557 00:25:24,541 --> 00:25:26,458 I don't give a damn. I'm the pasha. 558 00:25:26,541 --> 00:25:28,833 I haven't read the other part yet. I'm the pasha! 559 00:25:28,916 --> 00:25:30,166 And this is how you rehearsed? 560 00:25:33,208 --> 00:25:35,041 Gimme the stone. I wanna look at it. 561 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,458 Wait. It's gone. 562 00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:47,291 -What do you mean it's gone? -It's not here. 563 00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:49,000 You had one fucking job. 564 00:26:28,041 --> 00:26:29,291 That's the plan. 565 00:26:29,375 --> 00:26:32,250 They don't call me Dilaver of Ahırkapı for nothing. 566 00:26:32,333 --> 00:26:34,041 So don't fuck this up for me! 567 00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,375 Sounds like you've already fucked it up. 568 00:26:36,458 --> 00:26:37,916 You're really pissing me off! 569 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,125 Here you go, babe. 570 00:26:39,208 --> 00:26:40,458 -Where? -Good. 571 00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:41,375 Thank you. 572 00:26:42,416 --> 00:26:43,333 Listen to me. 573 00:26:43,416 --> 00:26:46,125 That freak Kirkor is stalling us, but I can't figure out why. 574 00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:48,125 We were supposed to take the diamond and leave. 575 00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,208 Now all of a sudden there's multiples? 576 00:26:51,083 --> 00:26:51,916 Huh? 577 00:26:54,958 --> 00:26:57,583 You guys, I was just eavesdropping. 578 00:26:57,666 --> 00:27:00,291 That aide's real name is Dilaver of Ahırkapı. 579 00:27:00,375 --> 00:27:02,708 And that moron with him isn't Şeker Pasha. 580 00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:04,625 But who he is, I don't know. 581 00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:07,500 Here. The aide snatched this at the table. 582 00:27:07,583 --> 00:27:09,083 But God knows if it's authentic. 583 00:27:09,166 --> 00:27:12,708 Even if we could get out of here with this, it might all be for nothing. 584 00:27:12,791 --> 00:27:14,500 Girls. 585 00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,666 Why aren't you asleep yet? 586 00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:20,416 Well, we couldn't fall asleep, 'cause we were nervous. 587 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,458 Hmm. 588 00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:07,583 -Is everyone asleep? -Yeah, they are. 589 00:28:15,291 --> 00:28:17,125 I asked Ara to open his shop. 590 00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:21,541 Look. 591 00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:24,791 This is handmade. 592 00:28:26,083 --> 00:28:28,416 And this is a pain in the ass. 593 00:28:28,500 --> 00:28:31,041 Good, good. They're both good. 594 00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:33,833 We'll take the others from Kirkor and then… 595 00:28:35,166 --> 00:28:37,791 -…we're gone. -I love you, man. 596 00:28:38,833 --> 00:28:39,916 You what? 597 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:41,291 I'm sorry, man. 598 00:28:41,375 --> 00:28:43,500 I wanted to add another layer of intrigue. 599 00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,166 You're joking? 600 00:28:47,791 --> 00:28:50,791 -I'm joking, man. A little joke. I swear. -Hmm. 601 00:28:51,291 --> 00:28:52,250 But you know, 602 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,208 there's another one. 603 00:28:54,708 --> 00:28:57,458 That fucking aide switched the stones. You gotta believe me. 604 00:28:57,541 --> 00:28:59,916 Right now, there are five stones in the house. 605 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,083 And we only know that these two are fake. 606 00:29:03,333 --> 00:29:04,541 Is that the truth? 607 00:29:06,708 --> 00:29:08,041 Ah, shit. 608 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:50,625 Dilaver, hey. 609 00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:52,291 What's going on? 610 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,708 We're having breakfast downstairs, 611 00:29:54,791 --> 00:29:57,916 and you're going to say that you were always Şuğnu, the aide. 612 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,625 And if I ask for something, you'll say "Yes, sir. Certainly." 613 00:30:00,708 --> 00:30:02,458 And what if I don't play along? 614 00:30:03,583 --> 00:30:05,583 I've meticulously planned this scheme. 615 00:30:05,666 --> 00:30:07,833 If you ruin it, I promise I'll strangle you! 616 00:30:07,916 --> 00:30:11,208 And if you want your share, then you'll shut up and play the aide. 617 00:30:12,125 --> 00:30:13,875 Dilaver. Dilaver! 618 00:30:28,958 --> 00:30:29,791 Pasha. 619 00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:33,208 -What the hell? -Oh, Fahriye. 620 00:30:33,291 --> 00:30:36,500 How in God's name did we screw up like this? This is a disaster. 621 00:30:36,583 --> 00:30:39,041 We were supposed to be gone with the diamond by now. 622 00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:42,000 All right, all right. So you give me the one you have. 623 00:30:42,083 --> 00:30:44,875 Come on! I stole this diamond from Kirkor yesterday. 624 00:30:45,541 --> 00:30:46,666 Give me yours, come on. 625 00:30:46,750 --> 00:30:48,875 I can't tell if it's real just by looking at it. 626 00:30:48,958 --> 00:30:51,083 Give it to me already. Fuck! 627 00:30:51,166 --> 00:30:54,208 I can't. They nicked it. I don't even have it anymore. 628 00:30:54,291 --> 00:30:56,166 -Good morning. -Good morning. 629 00:30:56,791 --> 00:30:58,916 Good morning, sir, good morning. 630 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,958 Um, well, Mr. Aide, but this outfit… 631 00:31:02,041 --> 00:31:05,750 Sir, I am Vahap Talha, also known as Şeker Pasha. 632 00:31:05,833 --> 00:31:09,000 I played a very traditional game on your house. 633 00:31:09,083 --> 00:31:10,791 I switched places with my aide. 634 00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:13,750 Better I thought for many security reasons 635 00:31:13,833 --> 00:31:16,875 and to meet the girls, I decided to conceal myself. 636 00:31:16,958 --> 00:31:19,375 How nice. I don't know what to say. 637 00:31:19,458 --> 00:31:20,666 And I'm not Master Agah. 638 00:31:20,750 --> 00:31:24,000 You see, I'm the gardener, shoemaker and the village idiot. 639 00:31:24,083 --> 00:31:26,458 But really, I am Şeker Pasha. 640 00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:28,500 And this is the deed to half of Üsküdar. 641 00:31:28,583 --> 00:31:30,583 -Oh, my goodness. Is that real? -Indeed. 642 00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:32,083 My aide Şuğnu. 643 00:31:32,166 --> 00:31:33,791 Uh, Mr. Şuğnu, please. 644 00:31:33,875 --> 00:31:37,375 Last night he had a little too much to drink, so he could be asleep. 645 00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:38,458 Good morning. 646 00:31:38,541 --> 00:31:39,916 -Good morning. -Hey, Dad. 647 00:31:40,416 --> 00:31:44,333 You see, His Excellency has been playing a joke on us. 648 00:31:44,416 --> 00:31:46,041 Wait, listen to me. It's not a joke. 649 00:31:46,625 --> 00:31:48,083 It was a traditional game. 650 00:31:48,166 --> 00:31:51,416 Like the ones where the aide and maid… you know, something like that. 651 00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:52,958 I knew it. I swear. 652 00:31:53,041 --> 00:31:56,333 Hey, he may have fooled you, but he never fooled me. 653 00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:58,000 -I'll kiss your hand. Allow me. -No need. 654 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:00,333 -Allow me, sir. -You're crazy, son. 655 00:32:00,416 --> 00:32:02,666 Your Excellency, breakfast is served. This way, sir. 656 00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:05,125 Of course, but someone should go get my aide. 657 00:32:05,208 --> 00:32:06,208 He should eat. 658 00:32:06,291 --> 00:32:07,875 -Certainly, sir. -Right this way. 659 00:32:08,708 --> 00:32:10,458 -Head of the table? -Of course. 660 00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:15,041 -Good morning, Nezaket. -Good morning. 661 00:32:15,541 --> 00:32:16,750 Good morning. 662 00:32:16,833 --> 00:32:18,791 I'm just going to go check on the aide. 663 00:32:22,916 --> 00:32:24,083 Mr. Aide. 664 00:32:49,875 --> 00:32:51,666 Here you go. They're the same. 665 00:32:56,791 --> 00:32:58,333 Ah! 666 00:32:58,416 --> 00:33:01,041 -Thanks. -Great, my friend. Here, as promised. 667 00:33:02,875 --> 00:33:05,166 Listen, this watch is very valuable, so if I don't 668 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:08,250 see my money in a week, I will show you no mercy. 669 00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:10,916 All right, all right. I'll do my best, okay? 670 00:33:11,541 --> 00:33:12,750 This is good work. 671 00:33:13,250 --> 00:33:15,000 Exactly the same. Exactly! 672 00:33:16,083 --> 00:33:17,083 They are the same. 673 00:33:17,166 --> 00:33:19,000 Master Agah, I'm sure you'll agree, 674 00:33:19,083 --> 00:33:20,750 our lives are hard. 675 00:33:20,833 --> 00:33:23,333 And why? Because of prejudice. 676 00:33:23,416 --> 00:33:26,041 Whenever you go anywhere or do anything, 677 00:33:26,125 --> 00:33:27,375 people always wanna talk. 678 00:33:27,458 --> 00:33:29,916 First of all, they call you a rich bastard. 679 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,833 And that's the least serious one. Am I right? 680 00:33:31,916 --> 00:33:34,041 "Look at that asshole's carriage," they say. 681 00:33:34,125 --> 00:33:38,791 Or perhaps, "Too much contentment has turned that fucker gay," I mean. 682 00:33:38,875 --> 00:33:40,458 I don't think they'd go that far. 683 00:33:40,541 --> 00:33:42,958 -Shh! -They would. Why wouldn't they? 684 00:33:43,041 --> 00:33:44,791 All right, enough, damn it. Just drop it. 685 00:33:45,708 --> 00:33:50,041 Pasha, if in any way, we've offended you, please forgive us. 686 00:33:50,125 --> 00:33:51,458 My dear, pour him some tea. 687 00:33:51,541 --> 00:33:53,083 Oh, thank you so much. There's no need. 688 00:33:53,833 --> 00:33:57,708 Um, Pasha, I would like to ask you a question, if you don't mind. 689 00:33:57,791 --> 00:33:59,166 Darling, now is not the time. 690 00:33:59,250 --> 00:34:01,208 No, Father, it's important. 691 00:34:01,291 --> 00:34:04,291 Is asking for his daughter's hand all just part of your game? 692 00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:07,791 'Cause we were having a lot of trouble understanding that. Was that it? 693 00:34:07,875 --> 00:34:09,916 Yes, if you would be so kind to elaborate on that. 694 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,833 I mean, you come into our house with this whole 695 00:34:12,916 --> 00:34:15,625 "I like your daughter, and I'm gonna snatch her up" attitude. 696 00:34:15,708 --> 00:34:18,291 You know what I mean, sir? But that's not how we were raised. 697 00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:22,458 Maybe I'm being too blunt. I don't know what else to say, Excellency. 698 00:34:22,541 --> 00:34:25,416 Hey, if I called you "Dilaver," would that be clearer for you? 699 00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,666 Dilaver? Where'd that come from? 700 00:34:28,750 --> 00:34:31,875 My name is no secret, you know. It's Vahap, my dear. 701 00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:34,375 Any encyclopedia will tell you. 702 00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:38,250 You crazy girl. How the hell did you come up with Dilaver? 703 00:34:39,333 --> 00:34:42,625 Mrs. Nezaket, have you seen my aide, by the way? 704 00:34:42,708 --> 00:34:45,291 I'm sorry. I knocked, but there was no one in there. 705 00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:46,250 Oh, really? 706 00:34:48,791 --> 00:34:52,458 Master Agah, here's what I think we should do. 707 00:34:52,541 --> 00:34:54,750 That great, big diamond you showed me? 708 00:34:54,833 --> 00:34:57,833 Now, what I have here, if you'll allow me, 709 00:34:57,916 --> 00:34:59,958 um, is a title deed. Look. 710 00:35:00,041 --> 00:35:01,625 It says Üsküdar here. 711 00:35:01,708 --> 00:35:05,208 It says Üsküdar, and it's actually, um, 712 00:35:05,291 --> 00:35:07,500 half of Üsküdar. That's what it says. 713 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,416 Half of Üsküdar. How shall I put this? 714 00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:11,666 Listen, um, 715 00:35:12,208 --> 00:35:16,500 I know this is nowhere near its actual value, but how about 716 00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:18,666 I hand this title deed over to you 717 00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,875 and put that diamond to some good use? 718 00:35:20,958 --> 00:35:23,750 You know, like an engagement gift. Could you accept that? 719 00:35:24,416 --> 00:35:26,375 Half of Üsküdar is pretty generous, Father. 720 00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:28,666 Half of it, yeah, but which half? 721 00:35:28,750 --> 00:35:30,875 Oh, right. You know when you're in Üsküdar? 722 00:35:30,958 --> 00:35:33,916 -Yeah. -Salacak, the coastal part. 723 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,666 It's there, that half. 724 00:35:35,750 --> 00:35:38,416 Oh, the coastal side. The coastal side will be very valuable. 725 00:35:38,500 --> 00:35:42,333 Indeed. Exactly half. And here it is. 726 00:35:42,833 --> 00:35:46,250 Well, Your Excellency, I'm not sure what I should say right now. 727 00:35:47,625 --> 00:35:50,875 Necati, get the door and see who that is, please. 728 00:35:50,958 --> 00:35:53,208 Half of it, the coastal side. That half of it. 729 00:35:57,916 --> 00:35:59,833 I've been banging since forever, 730 00:35:59,916 --> 00:36:01,791 and you wouldn't open it. This is outrageous. 731 00:36:01,875 --> 00:36:03,833 Do you have any idea who I am? 732 00:36:03,916 --> 00:36:05,333 -No, I don't. -No idea? 733 00:36:05,416 --> 00:36:06,250 Who? 734 00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:09,625 You don't even know that. You must not know anything. 735 00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:13,000 Who the hell is this? Is he crazy or what? 736 00:36:13,083 --> 00:36:15,333 I mean, goodness! 737 00:36:15,416 --> 00:36:18,500 I scream my lungs out, and none of you open the door for me? 738 00:36:18,583 --> 00:36:22,083 That boy over there with the fucking mustache almost didn't let me in. 739 00:36:22,166 --> 00:36:24,000 I said I'm Yasemin, 740 00:36:24,083 --> 00:36:27,333 the nursing mother of Master Agah's daughters, and he stared. 741 00:36:27,416 --> 00:36:29,666 -Which Yasemin? -You ask which Yasemin? 742 00:36:30,791 --> 00:36:33,083 Hmm! 743 00:36:34,875 --> 00:36:36,416 Yasemin. Happy now? 744 00:36:37,208 --> 00:36:38,333 Who the hell is this? 745 00:36:38,833 --> 00:36:40,166 No frickin' idea. 746 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,750 Girls, this lady was your wet nurse. Yasemin. 747 00:36:43,833 --> 00:36:45,666 Well, aren't you just a vision? 748 00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:49,666 Thank you, Nartane, Nurtane, Yektane. 749 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,958 Agah, is that you, you old fucker? 750 00:36:53,041 --> 00:36:55,041 I recognized your voice. 751 00:36:55,708 --> 00:36:58,875 Hey, why didn't you open the door for me, you bed wetters? 752 00:36:58,958 --> 00:37:02,333 Oh, who is this? Who is this man? 753 00:37:02,416 --> 00:37:04,416 Oh, he is a stranger. 754 00:37:06,416 --> 00:37:08,291 Aww, oh, this medal came right off. 755 00:37:09,083 --> 00:37:11,458 Stop with this vaudeville act. Get out of here. 756 00:37:11,541 --> 00:37:13,916 Here's your medal. You can sit back down now, son. 757 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,125 Go on, sit. Hey, hey, hey. 758 00:37:16,208 --> 00:37:20,083 I have news for you, frightful news, I might add. 759 00:37:20,166 --> 00:37:22,750 Everyone's been talking about how that great, big diamond, 760 00:37:22,833 --> 00:37:24,041 you know the one I mean, 761 00:37:24,125 --> 00:37:26,875 that Buffalo's Eye has been stolen from you. 762 00:37:26,958 --> 00:37:29,416 My dears, I have ears everywhere. 763 00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:32,333 So then, I immediately rushed to the Grand Bazaar. 764 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:36,875 And I asked the most clever sorcerers to help in my research. 765 00:37:37,541 --> 00:37:38,833 My! 766 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:41,583 The stories I've heard 767 00:37:41,666 --> 00:37:45,208 about that diamond are scandalous. 768 00:37:45,291 --> 00:37:47,666 Begone, you pest. Can't you see that we're talking? 769 00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:49,458 Calm down, Your Excellency. 770 00:37:49,541 --> 00:37:51,208 Leave the poor lady alone. 771 00:37:51,291 --> 00:37:53,208 Oh, my sweet baby. 772 00:37:53,291 --> 00:37:57,000 Pasha, you'll never believe the things they told me. 773 00:37:57,083 --> 00:37:59,666 But the title deed, we were just getting to it. 774 00:37:59,750 --> 00:38:01,125 -Yes. -Dilaver, sir. 775 00:38:01,208 --> 00:38:02,958 I think you should let it go. 776 00:38:03,041 --> 00:38:04,208 Yes, that's right. 777 00:38:04,291 --> 00:38:07,583 You won't believe the news I have, Pasha. 778 00:38:09,083 --> 00:38:10,291 Bless you, baby. 779 00:38:10,375 --> 00:38:13,333 Thanks for the water. God bless you. 780 00:38:16,166 --> 00:38:17,250 Well, anyway, 781 00:38:17,750 --> 00:38:21,041 at long last, I found myself at Zuhuratbaba's tomb. 782 00:38:21,125 --> 00:38:22,166 There's this man there. 783 00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:24,166 He takes one look at the water 784 00:38:24,250 --> 00:38:27,500 and tells me exactly where the diamond is. 785 00:38:27,583 --> 00:38:31,666 I took the trouble of going there because we were old friends, 786 00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:33,875 and I was in your employment. 787 00:38:33,958 --> 00:38:36,416 I took the diamond and came here. 788 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,208 Here you go, Master Agah. 789 00:38:38,291 --> 00:38:40,833 That's not possible, ma'am. 790 00:38:40,916 --> 00:38:42,750 I have the diamond myself right here. 791 00:38:42,833 --> 00:38:45,708 Hold on, Kirkor. Not so fast, babe. 792 00:38:46,208 --> 00:38:47,750 It could be the one I have. 793 00:38:47,833 --> 00:38:50,000 Who's Kirkor? Nezaket. 794 00:38:50,083 --> 00:38:53,333 We're selling each other out? All right, then, take a look. 795 00:38:53,416 --> 00:38:55,458 Here's the real diamond. The others are all fake. 796 00:38:55,541 --> 00:38:56,375 Show them. 797 00:38:56,458 --> 00:39:00,250 Ma'am, this is the one and only Buffalo's Eye. Bam! 798 00:39:00,333 --> 00:39:01,625 Maybe it's this one. 799 00:39:02,208 --> 00:39:04,375 Just thought I'd mention since it's all out in the open, 800 00:39:04,458 --> 00:39:05,916 and we're speaking freely. 801 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,916 You know something? God damn you all. 802 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,916 I told you to stay in character no matter what happens. 803 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,666 This guy hasn't broken character for two days. 804 00:39:13,750 --> 00:39:16,750 Uh, Master Agah, trust me. I am really Şeker Pasha. 805 00:39:16,833 --> 00:39:18,750 Oh, please, stop it, for heaven's sake. 806 00:39:18,833 --> 00:39:20,500 Master Agah, here's what we'll do. 807 00:39:20,583 --> 00:39:23,000 I'll take everybody's diamonds myself. 808 00:39:23,083 --> 00:39:26,625 I'll bring them to my jeweler, and we'll learn which one is real. 809 00:39:26,708 --> 00:39:30,583 While we wait, you can keep the title deed to half of Üsküdar. 810 00:39:30,666 --> 00:39:33,416 Wow, Dilaver, you're really something. 811 00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:35,875 There's no pasha and no deed to Üsküdar. 812 00:39:35,958 --> 00:39:37,583 This crook is Dilaver of Ahırkapı. 813 00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:41,500 -Master Agah-- -Kirkor. Kirkor. Kirkor Papatyan. 814 00:39:41,583 --> 00:39:42,625 All right, Papatyan. 815 00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:46,250 While you're at it, Nezaket and you know each other, don't you? 816 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:48,500 Why don't you tell us that story? Go ahead. 817 00:39:48,583 --> 00:39:51,791 Okay, enough. You are Apti of Balat. I think everyone knows that. 818 00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,750 You came here in disguise already. 819 00:39:53,833 --> 00:39:55,250 The pasha from earlier. 820 00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:58,750 But you guys already recognized him. You recognize the pasha from earlier. 821 00:39:58,833 --> 00:40:01,041 -No. -You're kidding me. 822 00:40:01,125 --> 00:40:02,333 Ah, be quiet, will ya? 823 00:40:02,416 --> 00:40:04,708 Let's hear what the lady has to say. Go ahead. 824 00:40:04,791 --> 00:40:07,291 My darlings, this water 825 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,166 is from an appraiser. 826 00:40:11,666 --> 00:40:12,916 Let's unburden ourselves 827 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,916 and place the diamonds in the sacred water, 828 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:19,583 and we'll see who the lucky winner is. Ha! 829 00:40:19,666 --> 00:40:21,208 Yeah, come on, let's find out. 830 00:40:21,291 --> 00:40:22,500 I'll go first. 831 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,083 -Let's do this. -Right. 832 00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:29,791 -Here. -Here, take this too. 833 00:40:31,125 --> 00:40:33,166 Yektane, sweetheart, thank you. 834 00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:37,666 This one or this one? 835 00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:39,166 Maybe this one? 836 00:40:39,875 --> 00:40:41,916 This one or that pretty one? 837 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:44,666 Let's see which one it is. 838 00:40:45,458 --> 00:40:48,208 Abracadabra, alakazam. 839 00:40:48,750 --> 00:40:51,916 Come to Mama, little diamond. 840 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,583 One stone goes in, and another comes out. 841 00:40:54,666 --> 00:40:57,000 And just like that, the lying snakes are out. 842 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:01,625 Ooh, I could see they're still in this room. 843 00:41:01,708 --> 00:41:04,208 Abracadabra, alakazam. 844 00:41:04,291 --> 00:41:06,458 Come to Mama, little diamond. 845 00:41:06,541 --> 00:41:09,708 Please return yourself to your proper owner. 846 00:41:09,791 --> 00:41:11,416 -Shall I remove it? -Do it. 847 00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:13,000 Think you can trust me? 848 00:41:13,083 --> 00:41:14,333 Go ahead, take it out. 849 00:41:14,416 --> 00:41:15,625 -Take it out! -Here! 850 00:41:15,708 --> 00:41:18,333 Hey, are you fucking kidding us, lady? 851 00:41:18,416 --> 00:41:20,625 No, son, look. See it for yourself. 852 00:41:20,708 --> 00:41:23,500 So, all of them are fake, and none of them are real. 853 00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:25,500 Where are the diamonds? 854 00:41:26,041 --> 00:41:27,208 What diamonds, man? 855 00:41:27,291 --> 00:41:28,541 Apti, I'll strangle you. 856 00:41:28,625 --> 00:41:31,083 Whoa! Easy now. Everyone back off! 857 00:41:31,166 --> 00:41:32,458 I'm Apti of Balat. 858 00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:35,708 You and all your fucking schemes, Dilaver. 859 00:41:35,791 --> 00:41:37,958 If I'd stuck with Kirkor, I'd be a rich lady. 860 00:41:38,041 --> 00:41:40,083 Like you weren't the one to bring me into this. 861 00:41:40,166 --> 00:41:42,083 So you were with him from the beginning. 862 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,416 You even prepared the fake stones for this. 863 00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:46,750 All we wanted was to steal like decent people. 864 00:41:46,833 --> 00:41:48,750 Damn you! You fucked up my foolproof plan! 865 00:41:48,833 --> 00:41:50,375 Where the hell are the diamonds? 866 00:41:50,958 --> 00:41:54,333 No one's going anywhere. Either we're in this together or it's over. 867 00:41:54,416 --> 00:41:55,958 Drop it! Hey, drop that. 868 00:41:56,791 --> 00:41:58,291 Hey, uh, Kirkor was your name? 869 00:41:58,375 --> 00:42:01,750 Yes, damn it. I put up with your pasha thing for two days. 870 00:42:01,833 --> 00:42:04,625 -I'll make you pay for this. You'll see. -Did I tell you I was a pasha? 871 00:42:04,708 --> 00:42:05,875 I was an aide when I got here. 872 00:42:05,958 --> 00:42:08,333 This motherfucker botched it, so I had to become the pasha. 873 00:42:08,416 --> 00:42:09,250 Drop the gun. 874 00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:12,166 Bekir, drop it, or I'll put a bullet between your eyes. 875 00:42:12,250 --> 00:42:13,958 -Do it, man. Go ahead. I dare you. -Wait! 876 00:42:14,041 --> 00:42:16,750 Kirkor, man, no one in your crew is even listening to you. 877 00:42:16,833 --> 00:42:18,583 Come on, just think about it. 878 00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:20,583 One of those stones has got to be real. 879 00:42:20,666 --> 00:42:22,541 So why don't we take them all out and share them? 880 00:42:22,625 --> 00:42:24,458 Then we can leave here in peace, can't we? 881 00:42:24,541 --> 00:42:27,750 Oh, please, do you think I'd do business with crooks like you? 882 00:42:27,833 --> 00:42:29,583 Besides, who the hell are you guys? 883 00:42:29,666 --> 00:42:32,000 Man, I'm not even asking for half of everything. 884 00:42:32,083 --> 00:42:34,708 We can split it in ten, and you can get seven, right? 885 00:42:34,791 --> 00:42:36,875 We get three. Seven tenths and three tenths. 886 00:42:36,958 --> 00:42:38,833 No, no, it takes too long to calculate. 887 00:42:38,916 --> 00:42:42,291 Hold on, everybody. I worked my ass off to get my part right. 888 00:42:42,375 --> 00:42:44,916 -I deserve the diamond. -Shut up! I'm tired of this shit. 889 00:42:45,000 --> 00:42:46,416 Wait, my love, please. 890 00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:48,375 -My love? -I'm just kidding, man. 891 00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:50,250 I'll shoot you first. I'm not kidding. 892 00:42:50,333 --> 00:42:52,416 -Take out the stones. -No, don't do it, dummy. Don't! 893 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,166 What's going on here? Who are you people? 894 00:42:59,250 --> 00:43:01,250 Sir, well, we're just-- 895 00:43:01,333 --> 00:43:04,083 Uh, I wish we had some funny music. 896 00:43:04,166 --> 00:43:06,458 Maybe in the background. 897 00:43:07,083 --> 00:43:08,333 Um, that way, you'd see 898 00:43:08,416 --> 00:43:11,541 that we are not the kind of people you think we are, really. 899 00:43:13,916 --> 00:43:15,958 You know, zithers playing. That stuff. 900 00:43:16,041 --> 00:43:17,041 Silence, ponce. 901 00:43:17,125 --> 00:43:18,958 Ponce is really great. 902 00:43:19,041 --> 00:43:21,166 Honestly, that's my favorite word from this era. 903 00:43:32,791 --> 00:43:35,333 -İkrah, well, is this all of them? -Yes, sir. 904 00:43:37,166 --> 00:43:40,208 Kirkor, sir. Actors, I presume. 905 00:43:40,791 --> 00:43:41,708 I am. 906 00:43:41,791 --> 00:43:43,958 And an actor's journey is a strange one. 907 00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:46,041 Besides, what is an actor? 908 00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:48,666 You see, sir, we exist only as long as we play. 909 00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:49,958 And once the play is over-- 910 00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:53,291 And thievery is what, a personal hobby of yours? 911 00:43:53,375 --> 00:43:55,375 We gave in to temptation, sir. 912 00:43:55,458 --> 00:43:58,250 Whoever told you that there was a diamond in this mansion 913 00:43:58,333 --> 00:43:59,750 is the biggest offender of them all. 914 00:44:00,541 --> 00:44:02,041 Yes, there is a stone here. 915 00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:03,708 Called the Buffalo's Eye. 916 00:44:04,625 --> 00:44:06,416 Necati, son, show them the stone. 917 00:44:09,666 --> 00:44:10,500 Here it is. 918 00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:13,791 Same as yours. They're exactly the same. 919 00:44:13,875 --> 00:44:17,541 Hey, tell me, can we buy half of Üsküdar with that thing? 920 00:44:18,833 --> 00:44:20,791 You couldn't hire a carriage to Üsküdar with this. 921 00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:23,000 It's from the chandelier. 922 00:44:23,583 --> 00:44:25,666 Our craftsman Ara made this for us. 923 00:44:26,333 --> 00:44:28,750 In fact, the stone is totally worthless. 924 00:44:28,833 --> 00:44:31,583 Oh, but the diamond rumor has spread. 925 00:44:31,666 --> 00:44:33,375 Myth is better than truth, you see. 926 00:44:33,958 --> 00:44:35,291 It holds no value at all. 927 00:44:35,833 --> 00:44:38,250 We have a game of showing it off from time to time. 928 00:44:38,333 --> 00:44:39,416 The stone is worthless, 929 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:42,500 except as a way to separate friends from enemies. 930 00:44:43,208 --> 00:44:44,708 It shows our values. 931 00:44:44,791 --> 00:44:46,833 And it shows where we truly stand. 932 00:44:46,916 --> 00:44:48,458 It is a touchstone, my friends. 933 00:44:49,125 --> 00:44:52,083 Perhaps now you understand what I mean by that. 934 00:44:52,166 --> 00:44:55,083 Now get the hell out. I won't call the police. 935 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,375 Master Agah, permission to kiss your hand, sir. 936 00:44:58,458 --> 00:44:59,666 Never. 937 00:44:59,750 --> 00:45:01,375 Thought I'd give it a shot. 938 00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,833 If I see you here again, I'll kick your asses. 939 00:45:11,916 --> 00:45:14,833 You douchebag. Just shut up and mind your own business. 940 00:45:14,916 --> 00:45:16,375 -Move. -We're going. 941 00:45:16,458 --> 00:45:18,208 Well, it was certainly nice meeting you. 942 00:45:18,291 --> 00:45:19,166 Fuck off! 943 00:45:19,916 --> 00:45:20,791 Go. 944 00:45:22,041 --> 00:45:24,833 -What'll you guys do now? -We'll start by walking that way. 945 00:45:24,916 --> 00:45:26,083 Have you ever acted? 946 00:45:26,166 --> 00:45:28,458 No, please, I've seen a few plays, and that's it. 947 00:45:28,541 --> 00:45:31,250 -But you played the wet nurse well. -Thank you. Thank you very much. 948 00:45:31,333 --> 00:45:33,875 And, sir, was I a better aide or a better pasha? 949 00:45:33,958 --> 00:45:35,625 Son, you're not much of an actor. 950 00:45:35,708 --> 00:45:37,500 Yeah, people say that a lot to me. 951 00:45:37,583 --> 00:45:39,208 But I was the best drunk ever. 952 00:45:39,291 --> 00:45:41,250 No, no, he was the better drunk. 953 00:45:41,333 --> 00:45:43,916 -At one point, I thought he shit the bed. -Oh, man. 954 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,291 All right, just get in and you can keep talking. Come on. 955 00:45:46,375 --> 00:45:49,083 -Come on, come on. Come with us. Come on. -Let's go. Why not? 956 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,500 Come on. 957 00:45:53,541 --> 00:45:55,625 -Come on. -Oh, thank you, man. 958 00:45:56,500 --> 00:45:57,333 Let's move it! 959 00:45:57,416 --> 00:45:59,041 Yeah. 960 00:46:04,583 --> 00:46:07,166 If we could just get some sweet music playing in the background, 961 00:46:07,250 --> 00:46:08,958 we could end this thing on a high note. 962 00:46:09,041 --> 00:46:11,625 You're right. I think it's time they start playing some. 963 00:46:22,791 --> 00:46:26,083 THE END 964 00:46:28,666 --> 00:46:32,083 I just hate that attitude of angry old men, don't you? 965 00:46:32,166 --> 00:46:35,791 So now I'd like to send you off with a nice little song. 966 00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,333 See? Neco. 967 00:46:37,875 --> 00:46:39,958 A voice out of this world. 968 00:46:40,041 --> 00:46:42,916 Written by Olcayto Ahmet Tuğsuz. 969 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,958 All right, I'm going to play it now. 970 00:47:23,625 --> 00:47:24,833 Take it away.