Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
Pygmy chimpanzees inhabit the Congo woods.
They tend to spend most of their time around river banks
sharing food, grooming and playing with cubs.
They live in harmony.
But this good nature hides one dirty secret.
They are the most sexually addicted primates on planet Earth.
It is time when women realize that fishing is something sacred to the men.
It is not only booze, grills and nature—
it has a much deeper meaning.
Don’t go fishing in the mountains or elsewhere out of town.
It is dangerous.
Layla, Aziza and Saya—these are the names of the women who went missing a week ago.
Three friends went camping in the nature but never came back.
This is not the only case of missing people over the last year.
And this is your news for now. Be safe and good bye.
Males, females, younger cubs have promiscuous sex all day long.
Dastan?
- Dastan? - Yeah.
- Did you get everything? - Yes, I got it. One minute.
- How about Zhilkaidar? - You kidding me?
Why? This is my uncle’s name.
You can’t even pick a name for your child.
It can’t be super hard to pick a name.
Why are you only talking man names? How about Aisulu?
Next.
- Maybe Sarah? - Arsen...
You dumb? What if we have a girl?
Are you going to name her Arsen?
I’m thinking. Why don’t you think of a name?
I’m doing it.
Anel, maybe?
ANEL CASHIER
- Nah, this name is wacky. - You are wacky!
- Wait, I got another call. - What? Wait! No...
Hello? My name is Madina.
Nah, Madina is a lame name.
- Sorry... - No, I’m not talking to you, sorry.
I’m calling from Center Credit bank. You are four days past due.
- Yes, yes, yes. - The loan has to be paid today.
You are already charged a penalty. Are you aware?
Yes. Fine.
Return the debt or the bank will take enforcement action.
- Your credit history is already slipping. - Yes, fine, I get it.
Do you need this? It looks like you want trouble, right?
You took the money, right? Why don’t you return it?
- Are you a man or not? - Fine!
Return the money to the bank. Good bye.
Bitch!
What did you say?
- It’s not for you. - Who are you talking to?
Not for you either.
47 800.
Cash or credit card?
Maybe my kidney will work?
Do you want me to give you my liver for a change?
- Maybe Leyla? - Are you thinking of your ex?
When did you see her?
- This just came to my mind. - Nothing good comes to your mind.
I do everything myself. Everything.
- Let’s call her Saule. - Nah, this is too old-fashioned.
Do you have something against my mom?
We keep calling her aunt Sveta...
- You dumb? - I got confused.
I like Saule. Fine, let’s call her Saule.
You said my mom’s name is old-fashioned on purpose.
- Why would I say it on purpose? - Because you hate her.
- I don’t hate her. - You hate her!
- I don’t hate! - You hate!
- I like her! - You don’t!
- I like her a lot! - No!
- I even love her! - You don’t!
I love your mother!
What?
Why are you shouting?
Come on... Shout at your pregnant wife.
Did I shout?
- You just did. - I didn’t.
- You got in and shouted. - I was calmly asking.
No you were not calm. You know better how you did it.
I asked: "What?"
- Sort of like "What’s up?" like this. - No, not like this.
- I’m calm. - No, you are not.
I’m very calm.
You men are all the same. You always hide something.
- No, not all. - You are all the same!
- I’m not like them. - You are!
- I am not. - You are!
What?!
Dastan, what takes you so long? Hurry up!
Do I ride you? Am I squeezing you dry?
Am I a hellcat to you?
Am I talking to a wall or something?
At least think of your future baby.
How many times did I ask you to talk to the neighbor
to stop smoking in the stairway?
Can you man up? Do you have balls or not?
Your collectors keep calling me. I’m sick of them.
Deal with your problems already!
We put them in a jar
and then take them out one by one.
It is easier to pick from two, right?
Das, what do you think?
Das?
- Das? - I’m going fishing tomorrow.
Night-night.
What?!
Are you leaving me in the most important moment of my life?
Scumbag!
Don’t worry! I’ll be back on time!
You lost!
- Hi, Zhanna! - Screw you!
How can you chill when you man is a scammer?
Just don’t give birth today and it all will be fine.
It’s not fine already!
Why are you so loud? Aitugan is awake already!
I love you. Bye.
I will tell our kid how you left us!
No need.
Let’s go, let’s go.
I lost one grand.
I thought you would come up with something like usual:
"I can’t go, my clothes are wet",
"I washed my head, it is too late",
"Zhanna locked me in".
- When did this ever happen? - Do you want me to show you the texts?
Who gathered you all?
Forget the past. Onward to the adventures!
Are we really going fishing?
Yes.
I thought it was a fake excuse for Zhanna.
- What? - We never fished before.
You’ll learn. I have everything with me.
Look here, in the back. Look...
Damn, Arman!
Couldn’t you just clean it all up?
Those are damaged goods. Such a pity to throw them away.
And I couldn’t send those to my old folk’s village.
They won’t understand this gift.
Let’s listen to some music.
Yo, bro, I think he never found your horses.
No. He is here.
I can smell him.
He is hiding here.
Hey, Peetok,
what's with all this dead weight?
- You can’t shoot anyway. Drop it. - Why you say I can't shoot?
- I can! - No you cannot!
- I can shoot! - You can't!
- I shoot! - You don't have the guts, you won't shoot.
- I will! - Damn! You won't!
I shoot!
Ones who work and never lazy stay fed. Do you know this saying?
No.
There is another one.
A merchant who has nothing to do— scratches his balls.
Go find him. Now.
Fine, we'll go look for him. Come on, Peetok.
Let me go! Brother, let go off me!
Where are you dragging me?
Get him! Get him tight!
Man, he was here all this time!
We got you, little fella!
Koko, brother, let's go to the river.
I’ll speak with Sabit.
I will get you horses and money back.
It's not that far. Let's go there.
Let's go!
I mean it. Name him Arman.
I will give him my business when he gets old enough.
Screw you.
I want my kid to be playing ordinary toys.
Imagine, you come back home and he is nibbling on that sex doll.
I want to choose the right name.
Murat is a pretty name.
So?
You want the kid to be a community policeman like you?
Don't rub it in, Arman, please.
Sorry, my man, don't be all that defensive.
Grab some cold beer, bro.
Guys, this gas station is scary...
Arman, you starting again?
I have this gift. I can feel something wrong.
I feel like we shouldn’t go in there.
You don't want – you don't go.
Be careful. I warned you.
Get me a full tank of 92nd gasoline. Station 3.
Just any station, brother.
Salam aleikum!
Hello?
CASH DESK
Salam aleikum!
92nd gasoline and do you have beer?
Got beer?
Ah,
I’ll look.
Awesome.
This is it for me.
What is my change?
Just give me a thousand back.
You all say that.
Do you think sex shop is something good in Europe only?
Of course, I doubt any Kazakhs go there.
- No they don’t. - You see.
But they love online delivery.
Once I started the delivery service, my business sky-rocketed.
I will soon start to deliver to every village.
- No way! - Let’s go! Let’s go!
Let's. Where is my change?
They didn’t give it to me. Let’s go!
What the hell! I’ll go handle it
- Murat, come on, let's go! - Wait up.
I don’t get it. You people want trouble with me?
What’s up, Murat?
Let’s go! Let’s go!
It’s all for charity! Let’s go now!
- Did you get your money? - Charity!
Drive now! I don’t like it all!
Don't throw that bottle out.
Stop polluting.
There is a saying—don't quarrel with your bread and butter.
Yes, brother!
What do we do with this one?
Do we kill and bury him?
Are you mad?
We just take what we need.
Brother, next time, let's not take this psycho along.
He always gets in the way.
Hey, did I just speak to you?
Are you that killer who always kills people?
- Yes, I am a killer! - Can you kill a man?
- I can! - You don't have guts!
- I do have guts! - Can you kill?
- I can! - Then shoot him!
- What's wrong with you? - Come on, kill him!
- Can you? - I'm stopping.
For fuck’s sake!
So what are you telling?
What is wrong with you two? You're noisier than jackal's ass.
He started it
Four friends make perfect adventure.
And there is another saying: one who separates—gets eaten by the wolves.
Close your eyes!
Stop sitting around.
Let's go.
- You still don't have the guts. - Stop it!
Murat, what are you doing?
Doing what?
Are you out of your mind?
No worries, guys. I’m a marksman...
Can’t you wait?
Murat, if a single drop falls down on this car...
Come on, it is all good. All nice and sterile.
Just throw it away!
Not here! Murat, god damn you!
Throw it away!
What is it?
-What happened? - I don't know!
Damn, they gone!
They think they own this road, huh?
Get in the car, guys.
Let’s get them.
What is this smell?
Is it coming from the tank?
This is piss!
Stop laughing!
- You chase them and shoot them. - I will!
Brother, did you see him?
Why are you all laughing? Did someone open up his asshole?
Shut up, you two.
- Are you nuts? - What are you thinking?
It is dying anyway.
Ah, you...
- Wait, help me carry him to the car! - You carry him.
- Don't you see – he fainted! - You shot! Now you carry!
Wait! Get him up!
Say please.
- Please! - Louder!
Please!
You are welcome!
This is great!
Where did you find this boat? Did you steal it?
- I borrowed it from my neighbor. - Isn't he a junkie?
No, not Aitugan. I borrowed from Sergey.
Ah, Sergey...
Lads, meet my ladies—
Perizat and Kulayla.
Murat, it is my first time I see you with girls, but they already look fake.
By the way, you did mention they were fake. I don’t see no fake in them.
Kulayla’s mouth won’t open.
Damn, I liked her the most.
Perizat is my ex.
We just stayed friends.
Your ex?
Man, why is it like this?
Murat, so you know
what psychology says
about the interest to all these sex toys?
This is a symptom of neurosis
that later grows into psychosis.
This is clinical.
They treat you
so that you can get rid of the unstable psyche...
Do you know what unstable psyche is?
It is when you get married
and then stop communicating with your friends.
Crazy.
- Murat is right. - My case is different.
Bro, give me a mosquito repellent.
Wake up, Kazakh!
Get up!
Thief's tail is short! Did you hear that saying?
No, brother! I was not lying.
He has to be somewhere here.
Sabit!
There he comes!
You want me to chase him?
Murat, I’m not going fishing with you ever again.
Why is that?
You’re exploiting my girls.
Why?
They turned out to be a great and pleasant boat
Actually, it is the first time I ever hear you say “exploiting”.
I never knew you can speak like that.
I used to work in the city administration.
Now I will show you how you fish— municipal style.
Damn you, fumbler!
Go dive after my pants now!
What a bum! Look at me do this!
Murat! Murat! Stop!
What is it, Murat? What did you do?
Did you rip my ear off?
It’s alright! I’m telling you!
- Wait up! Let me see. - Blood!
- Where is it?
Das, tell him that everything is fine with his ear.
No, no, no!
The ear is gone! He ripped the ear off.
You can't shoot me, bastard! Go ahead!
- I will! - Then shoot! Do it!
Shut up! I'll blow your brains out!
You can't do it!
You're the shit and you live only by your brother!
He's right about that.
- Shut up! - Shoot!
Shut up!
I just want to fix it. The piece is just hanging.
Don’t touch it.
What have you done!
- Are you dumb? - What have you done?
Guys!
How's it going?
How's fishing?
You... come over here.
Yes, you... come.
- We saw nothing! - Come over here!
Sorry, we didn’t see anything.
Stop standing around! Go get them.
Now!
Stop! Come over here!
Hey, get up!
I'll break your neck! Stop!
Stop! Row over here!
Come here! Stop! Come closer!
Sorry! We didn’t see anything!
Quick! Quick! Get moving!
Move it! Don’t panic!
Come on, guys! I don’t want to die!
Stop the boat! I'll break your head!
Get them, man!
Someone dies, someone buries!
This is not your fault, we had no other choice.
Peetok, come around.
The road ends here.
I don’t want to! I don’t want to die!
Keep rowing, bro!
The boat is sinking. I’m holding it.
Shut the hole!
I don’t want to die!
- Why are you shooting? - It's not me!
It just fired!
Don't just stand there! Come over!
I don’t want to die!
Jump! Everybody out of the boat!
Guys, wait! Wait for me!
It will belong not to the one chasing, but to the one destined to have it.
Have you heard this saying?
Let me handle this, guys.
Almaty police. Lieutenant Tuyakbayev
Anything you say in a court of law...
To put it short, you’re under arrest, brother.
This makes it worse. Assault on the officer.
Das, why are you standing like this? Das!
We just had a post-traumatic shock, we went too crazy...
That’s it, guys! We give up!
You shouldn't step on a resting snake!
Get it?
You look in the eyes when talking to a man.
Look me in the eyes!
What the hell is this?
Hey, get lost!
Are you numb?
I'm talking to you!
Even a dog leaves when you send it off!
I told you to leave!
Don't you hear me?
You deaf?
My eyes!
Peetok, is this our brother screaming?
Brother!
There they are! Stay right there!
Let’s go! Run!
Stop!
I'll blow you damn heads off!
Peetok, shoot them!
Stop! Shoot them in the legs!
We won't chase them! They are getting away!
Kooka!
Kooka, brooo!
What's wrong, Peetok?
What is this?
They tore his jaws apart!
Animals!
Peetok, let's go!
Brother,
I'll fight till the end for you!
We will avenge!
Don't be a fool!
Stop it! Avenge who?
Are you insane? Don't be a hero.
He is dead, period. We must live on.
Come quick.
Aren't you going to avenge our brother?
Peetok, dead is dead, but we are alive and must live on.
Got it?
He is your brother too.
- Who? - He is your brother too!
- Who? - Kooka!
Kooka!
Peetok, you stop it!
If they get us, they will tear us apart, too!
Let them do it! I need this!
Come kill me!
I'm gone!
- I'm on my own now! - Stop!
Bury him, too! There is the shovel.
- Stop! He is your brother too! - Get out of here!
Kissyk, wait!
So you act like that?
Yes!
Then go, asshole!
We don't have much time.
We have to get there.
Not much time left.
We need to find them.
Murat, what do we do now?
How do I know? You’re the fortune teller here!
Fuck you!
You’re the cop.
Didn’t they teach you what to do in this sort of situation?
A situation when a maniac tears person’s face apart?
No, they don’t teach that.
Guys, let’s go back.
Please...
I lost my engagement ring.
Zhanna will kill me.
I lost it once during college and we almost broke up.
Please, it is very important. Let’s go back and find my ring.
Hey, man up!
If you run from the wolves, you howl like a wolf.
Or something...
Anyway, we now get to the car
and get the hell out of here.
I will let my people know later.
Let’s run.
Don’t move!
I knew it. We’re late!
Maybe we go steal their car?
Are you Rambo?
We, national security, have proper training!
What the hell are you talking about?
What did you say?
I say you couldn’t keep track of your own car...
Shut up!
You couldn’t keep track of your wife, you’re wreck!
- Quiet! - What did you say about my wife?
Your wife is a wreck, too!
- Watch your mouth! - Quiet!
Quiet down.
Murat is right. Let’s get out of here.
You’re a wreck of a man!
What is he right about?
You got to hustle to survive.
Sorry, Kooka, brother.
Who is this?
What do you need?
What are you looking at?
Skinhead! Bugger off!
What are you doing?
Son of a bitch! I'll kill you now!
Hey! What is wrong with you?
Come on!
Come on now!
You're dead now, skinhead!
Go! Go!
The door is jammed!
What did I do to you?
Please forgive me!
I've been working as a school district officer for years,
but I've never seen anything like it.
It is all your fault. And your stupid fishing!
- We don’t even know how to fish! - Why are you screaming at me?
Why you got us here?
I wanted to make it all right.
You shouldn’t have showed up in the first place.
Guys, chill!
We need to make a phone call quick! We need reinforcement.
Stop playing Rambo!
- Here is your phone, why don’t you call? - Do you think I am stupid...?
Calm down...
Stop!
I'll get you anyway!
What is wrong here?
He shot me.
Seriously. I don’t feel my leg.
Guys, I’m hurt. Guys!
What is wrong?
He shot me in the ass. Take a look.
Let me see.
Take them down, let me see.
What do we have here?
Where are you?
- It's just a scratch. - Seriously?
I hate you!
When are you coming back?
Do you want to die?
My water broke, asshole!
I’m giving birth, dickhead!
Guys, let’s go. Zhanna is giving birth.
You got coverage? Give me that phone.
- What do you want it for? Give it back. - Stand still.
Give me the phone.
Hello! Police!
- Duty office listening. - We have been attacked by the mob.
Come quick. We need help!
We have ongoing rallies in Medeu district. Are you there?
Do attackers have billboards? What slogans are they shouting?
What? Fuck your slogans!
- They are killing us! - Gentleman, we have rallies here.
We’re busy with something by far more serious that your shenanigans!
We’re on the way to Babatugan highway. Hey! Bitch!
What are you doing?
Why did you do that?
Sicko!
How do I call Zhanna now?
- She is giving birth; how do I call her? - You’re a doormat!
I’m tired of you and your Zhanna! I’ve been shot, don’t you see?
I’m tired of you calling me a doormat. Say it again!
- Come on, guys, chill! - You’re a doormat, got it?
I’d rather be a doormat than being a guy who never had a single girl in his life.
I’d rather be alone but remain a man,
but nor being pussy-whipped.
Guys, stop it. We have to stick together.
Let us all calm down now.
This is my wife you’re talking about. Watch it.
- Hey, I’m talking to you now. - Get your hands off me!
Calm down!
We have to stick together.
Murat is right. Listen to him!
What do you know?
What do you know about life? Why are you teaching me?
You’re still two yellow mouths pricks I knew from high school.
I keep dragging you along all the way.
Dumbasses!
Do you know that family is a responsibility in the first place?
Do you think it is all about remaining a man?
You know what the real problem is?
Do you want to know?
It’s when you are in the middle of nowhere
and your wife is giving birth and you know nothing.
Not where you are or what is happening with your wife.
You don’t know how it will go.
And what’s more important is that you don’t even know if you love her or not,
if you need this or not!
And you will live with her all your life, because you are about to have a kid!
Can you do this?
Some man!
Fuck you!
Man, chill!
Fuck you two!
Das, we should not split up!
Let this dick go! Come.
Hope he stays safe.
Zhanna,
I will be your slave.
Please, forgive me.
I will serve you
and you can choose the name.
You can even choose your ex’s name.
It is all Zhanna’s fault.
He used to be a fair dude.
And he is looking for excuses.
But we will never double-cross each other, brother, right?
Of course, brother. We are the real friends.
Thank you, brother.
I just feel like saying
that I will never leave you hanging, bro.
I’m always there for you.
Did you cut your hand for this vow?
I got my ass shot, but this doesn’t matter now.
Give me a hug.
Brother, I swear
that I will never regret my vow.
And I will never deny my words. I swear!
Wait up!
Is this the vow from the “Brigade” show?
My ass hurts.
Couldn’t you add just a couple of your own words?
This is a great vow.
Come on, I am your friend and you just copy the vow.
Shut up, my butt is hurting!
No! Leave!
Leave!
Don’t! Don’t touch me!
You’re awake, son?
I know you!
Where am I?
This is your new home.
What do you mean?
Let me go, quick! My wife is giving birth!
What time is it? Let me go!
What the hell is going on?
What do you need from me?
Grandchildren.
What?
What do I have to do with this?
You make me grandchildren.
My daughter likes you.
She never had a boyfriend.
This makes sense.
You’re handsome.
Honey, come closer.
No! No, no!
I will marry you now.
Don’t touch me!
Do you agree to marry him?
I do. He is handsome.
Breathe away.
My son, do you agree?
Can I think about it?
I do!
Great!
Now waste no time making my grandchildren!
Now? What?
What are you doing?
You have serious issues!
You need to see the psychologist.
Let me go. I can’t just do it right away!
Please, I need time! I know myself
Let’s go see who is there?
Wait. Don’t.
- This place looks creepy. - Creepy?
- We need help. Let’s go. - What are you talking about?
- My ass needs help. - You crazy?
Haven’t you watched any of those thriller movies
with maniacs living in such places.
Anyone here?
Follow me, don’t be a chicken-shit!
Come on!
I’m sure something will happen to us.
I always have this feeling.
Stop your ill prophesy!
You are not handsome!
Hi!
How are you?
- I’ve been looking for you all over. - What is wrong?
Where are your friends?
Get them over here. I will kill you all.
They are not here. And they are no longer my friends.
I care less about your brotherhood.
I’m here to avenge my brother. Get it?
We didn’t do anything. It’s all this maniac.
What maniac?
One eyed. He is the real deal.
This one?
No, this one is a pervert. And he has two eyes as you see.
Is this your wife?
My wife is in the city.
She is giving birth right now. Let me go, please.
Less talk, more action!
Brother, you are about to kill an innocent person!
You're being overly aggressive.
I'm telling you, it's not our fault, and you still want to kill me.
You're having some kind of psychological trauma.
Most likely from childhood.
It wouldn't make you feel any better if you killed us.
Maybe your father beat you up when you were a kid.
Or maybe your mom didn't love you.
Usually it happens before you're four and a person doesn't remember it.
But it's important to remember.
You're gonna need this.
Remember it.
I was cleaning up the barn.
Got my hands frost-bitten.
This is a good start.
My dad was a strict one, for sure.
He was in the hospital.
Hey, what the hell am I talking here?
I told you.
He is here.
We are fucked.
Shoot him!
What is wrong with you?
Strawberry?
This is a creepy place, Murat.
Let’s leave it.
Chill, man.
Murat, let’s get out of here.
A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT
I have to go back.
But he will kill me.
Arman, my brother!
No! I want to live...
What do I do? Man up, dirt bag!
Fuck that!
Oh, wait. Calm down.
This is no swamp. I know this for sure.
I promise to be the most honest and decent person in the world!
Please!
For fuck’s sake, I’m still a virgin!
You alive?
I don’t know.
I’m not sure. Am I alive?
Not sure.
You look like a dead man.
Where are we?
We are guests.
At the one-eyed man’s place?
Yes.
Where is Murat?
Murat fucked off.
Traitor.
And he called you a traitor.
I would run off too if I were him.
I guess I would fuck off too.
Who am I lying to?
I would definitely fuck off.
Thank you! Thank you!
I’m alive!
Alive!
It’s time to save my friends.
Wait. Slow down! Stop!
Fuck!
Guys, I understand now.
I realized everything.
You are my real brother, forgive me!
Now I untie you and we get out of here!
But if this sicko stands in my way, I will personally...
Guys, we need plan B!
Come on! Beat him up!
Kick his ass, Murat!
- Guys, I love you! - I love you too, brother!
I will avenge my brother anyway!
All the way!
What's wrong with you? Why are you doing this to me?
God!
We got to run.
We got to help!
We got to help, then run.
Don’t come closer to him!
Come on! Come on!
Come on, pull!
I’m pulling! He simply won’t die!
Murat, hit him in the head with something!
I got it. He is unkillable!
Let’s tie him to a pole.
Tie him up! Quickly!
Make it tight!
Murat, get up!
Let’s get out of here.
You go, guys.
I'll handle it.
Get down! Run!
It’s gonna blow!
Alright you guys!
I'm going home.
My dad was going to go to a wedding.
I need to give him the car.
Death is a tragedy. Life is a war.
Do you know this saying?
I bet he falls off the horse now.
No, he won’t.
He fell off.
Guys, I am fine!
Zhanna!
Where is the horse?
Das, bro, don’t worry. We will make it in time.
If I am late for the delivery, Zhanna will never forgive me.
It’s all good, trust me.
Murat,
your comeback was a hit.
Come on, men.
If something happened to you, I would blame myself for the rest of my life.
I think this is the first and the last fishing for me.
Fucking locals robbed me.
All they left is this small penis.
Arman, you said it was all defective. Let’s go already!
I realize that we are the real brothers.
Please forgive me for disappearing.
I feel shame. I will never leave you guys.
You can count on me anytime now. I’m there for you!
We’re here. Stop the car!
Guys, I’m blessed to have brothers like you.
I love you guys.
You are my brothers.
We’re bigger than “Brigade”. I would do anything for you.
I’m glad we went fishing.
Only there I realized that we are the closest people.
Murat, I understand you.
We are brothers. Thank you.
- You really understand? - Yes.
- Now can I have some privacy with my family? - Of course, brother!
Thank you.
You are not a doormat now.
- Das, right here brother... - What?
- Here. - I get it! Thank you.
- No, right here. - Yes, brothers all the way.
No, right here, you have blood on your shirt. Clean it up.
Careful.
Is this a boy?
A girl.
So cool.
I wanted a girl.
Wait up!
I love you.
Where is your ring?
SWEETIE, YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT
I had a wet hand.
I was running and it must have slipped off.
Why don’t you just tell me where you were?
- Fishing. - Where is the fish then?
We never caught anything. All this started.
They shot at our boat. We jump into water...
Show me your phone.
I don’t have it. It broke.
Murat broke it.
He was calling the cops, then freaked out and broke it.
Guys’ phones all drowned in the river.
Listen, if you don’t feel like telling me where you were—fine, don’t!
- But I’m telling you. - What?
We eye witnessed the murder. We ran. They chased us.
Then this one-eyed maniac showed up and started killing everyone.
I saw a man’s head cut off.
Then we got to a pervert’s house.
Who can prove it?
They are all dead.
We are the sole survivors.
For real.
NO LIVING CREATURE WAS HARMED DURING THE FILMING
Pull! Pull!
Aren't you strong enough? Pull!
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull