This week, only the guys will be going out on dates.
Ladies, are you ready to see your man head out with another woman?
No.
He better not do nothing he don’t do for me.
You better not betray me, okay, ’cause I will cut you.
Oh, Lord.
-What are you looking for in a man? -Someone that’s confident,
loving, caring.
-All right. Scoot over, baby. I’m listening. -That sound like him? Okay.
I’m like, "Look, baby. That’s mine, baby. You’re renting him."
-Okay. Hold me real tight. -Yeah, okay.
I’m real big on horoscopes and stuff.
I like the chakras and the metaphysical stuff.
Oh, you’re talking my language.
-[laughs] -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Me and my ex-wife needed somebody to be there with the kids.
And I would just, like, spend the night on the couch.
Yeah, I really don’t have no issue with that.
If you trust a person like you say you do,
then you should trust them enough to know
-that they’re not gonna do nothing behind your back. -Right.
[Stacii] The fear that you have right now, my brother,
it will be the death of you.
♪ We’ve been so in love for a minute na-na ♪
♪ Let’s make it official lock it down say some vows ♪
♪ I do, I do, I do, I do Do you? ♪
I’ve never told anybody this in my life.
What is it? Because the fear that you have right now, my brother,
it will be the death of you.
[cries]
I struggle with anger, depression, anxiety.
And I pray because I don’t wanna hurt anybody no more.
So, you’re scared that...
Chance, she’ll leave me.
I get emotional because sometimes
it’s like you’re on an island by yourself, you know?
It just reminds me of some things
that I’ve experienced in the past.
And it’s not a good feeling.
My stepfather, when he came home,
he was angry about his job, so he took it out on my mom.
To be a child and live in a house where your mom is beat on
because your dad is tired- it confused me
because I was never taught how to love.
I was taught how to fight.
-First of all, mental illness is serious. -Yes.
And it is something that, if you do have,
I feel, Dunbar, that you have to accept first.
With that, know that there’s nothing you can lose as a result of it.
I believe that you are tormenting yourself
with not trusting that the people who truly love you
will stay.
And that as a team, you all will work through this together.
I was an angry child. I was an angry football player.
And I would take the things that was done to me
on the football field to my home.
The depression, the anxiety was hitting me,
and I found myself to be very vocal abusive.
I would yell. I would cuss. I would scream to my woman.
I don’t wanna push her away, but I don’t know how to say,
"Chance, baby, I really probably need help."
-Mmm. -I’m just going by...
...not trusting that she’ll understand.
The last girl that I was really in love with
when I started having breakouts, she literally left me.
Think about this.
What if it brought you closer?
Right.
[Stacii] Maybe let’s change the narrative
because right now, the torture that you’re experiencing
that you are causing yourself...
So, can you create a narrative right now-
I just wanna see what you might do without me being here-
of how you’re going to share this information?
Well, I know Chance. I know Chance loves me.
And she’s gonna make sure that I get the proper counseling that I need,
and she’s gonna support me.
And if she doesn’t?
And if she doesn’t, the right person
and the right programs will be there, too,
and they will come into my life.
I always say awareness and acceptance is power.
Okay.
It’s power.
And you’re looking at it as being not.
-Right. -But, truly, it can be your superpower.
It’s kind of like with the date. You wanted to control that.
-You gotta take your hands off this thing. -Right.
And be responsible for the best of who you are.
Thank you.
And my heart does go out to you,
but I see, still, Dunbar trying to control the narrative.
Right.
[Stacii] And if that is truly your fear
and all of your insecurities with losing her,
if that is the core of it,
then you are stepping in the way of your own breakthrough.
Not breakthrough with Chance.
Breakthrough with Dunbar.
Some things you wanna keep internal,
and you wanna make sure that that partner is ready to receive that message.
I realized that we have to communicate with each other,
and the things that are important need to always be on the table.
So I made a vow to myself that the next person that really loves me
I’m going to change.
-Okay. -Thank you.
-Good stuff. Did you have any more questions for me? -No.
These sessions are important.
-Mmm-hmm. -I really do love Chance.
Yes, I can tell.
And I just wanna make sure that I’m, no matter what,
-moving myself in the right direction. -Mmm-hmm.
I’m gonna open up, and thank you for this opportunity
-to learn more about myself. -Absolutely.
All right. All right. Thank you again.
-Thank you for sharing that with me. I know that was hard. -[sighs]
["Play With Fire," by Vanacore Music playing]
♪ Do you really wanna play with fire? ♪
♪ Hey, hey ♪
♪ You can draw me high but I fly higher ♪
-Hey! -Hey, how you doing?
Come on in. Yes!
-Hey, Ricky. -Hey, how you doing?
-Hey. You look nice. -Hey, Miss Catherine.
Y’all look good. Come on, Ricky, with the red shirt.
-[Catherine] Thank you. -[Ricky] Thank you. Appreciate it.
That means you bringing some fire today.
Nah, we bringing peace and love and just...
-Harmony. -Yeah, harmony.
I love it. I love it.
-Hello! -[Stacii] Hey!
[Joya] Definitely looking forward to seeing the other couples.
Unlike the first date with Chance and Dunbar was crazy.
And I also wanna know how did Catherine do?
I just wanna see how it all unfolded.
I’m waiting for the juicy stuff.
Has anyone heard from Chance and Dunbar at all?
-No, we have not. -Yeah.
-[Stacii] No? -No.
All right.
We’re gonna wait a little bit longer, and hopefully they show up.
We’re waiting, and we’re waiting, and we’re waiting.
Where in the hell is Chance and Dunbar?
Okay. So, it appears Chance and Dunbar will not be joining us today.
Not exactly sure why, but I will definitely follow up.
[Jasha] It’s very unfortunate that they’re not able to come today
-and, you know, get to work. We’re here to do the work. -Right.
So, let’s not waste any more time. Let’s get into it.
Ricky, let’s start with you.
-Yes. -You went on a first date with...
-Sheila. -Sheila. Yes.
Yes. I’m gonna be real. It was a good date.
She was an attractive girl.
She just had on, like, a dress, but it was, like...
Oh, no, no. What’s, "A dress"?
[laughter]
What was the dress? I see--
Everything I just covered on me was covered on her.
-Oh, and it stopped-- -Being right there. [laughs]
Oh, right there. [laughs]
-She looked... Ey. -[laughter]
But I was just like, "Wow," like, "I did this to myself."
So, where did y’all go?
Parlor Bar Grill. It’s, like, a Caribbean spot.
She was real relaxed and chill, easy to talk to.
What did y’all talk about?
We did end up talking about the issue that we have,
how I’m basically co-parenting.
And I told her the main situation
was basically Cat didn’t like that I was helping my baby mother out
by spending a night when she was out and gone.
And then what did she say in regard to how you’re handling the co-pare--
She didn’t really... To be honest, she really didn’t have a problem with it.
How do you feel hearing that, Catherine?
I laugh because I was the same until I became his girlfriend.
At the beginning of our relationship,
Ricky and his ex-wife, Chelsea, would call each other
and just talk about things, to me, that are not in the co-parenting space.
And Ricky spending the night, them doing stuff, going out to eat,
still going to events together as a collective family...
And, to me, like, my thing to Ricky was:
no woman would be okay with another woman having access to her man
in a way that Chelsea has access to you.
[Stacii] Is he still staying the night?
-[Catherine] Oh, no. We had to stop that. -Yeah.
-[Catherine] Yeah. -So you get back home.
-Mmm-hmm. -And what’s the discussion?
He came back just, like, really enjoying the process...
-Yeah. -...and telling me, like, about the date
and how he did share certain parts of our relationship with her
and how she gave feedback.
What I like most is that even with what you both learned
through this process, it brought you closer.
Good stuff. All right.
Ricky, will Sheila be getting a second date?
Um, unfortunately no, she will not.
-Why? -[Ricky] She was a great date.
-Uh-huh. -[Ricky] But at the end of the day,
I don’t want Cat to think that, you know,
it’s any more than a learning experience.
I’m not feeling you don’t wanna go on the date,
but you just not going out with Sheila because of Catherine,
and you’re concerned for her.
It kind of doesn’t work with the process. Do you see what I’m saying?
-Mmm-hmm. -[Stacii] So...
...I’ll ask you again.
-[both laugh] -Will Sheila get another date, Ricky?
Um...
So, I’ll ask you again.
-[both laugh] -Will Sheila get another date, Ricky?
I mean, she’s a good date.
Like, if I was single, yeah, she’d get another date easy, so yeah...
Okay. Thank you.
-Thought about that. -Do you know how that helps you and Catherine?
I do now.
So, it looks like I’m officially going on another date with Sheila.
I really did wanna go on a date with her,
but I definitely don’t wanna give Catherine any more reasons to feel insecure.
All right. Let’s find out about Jasha.
Hey. Okay.
Tell me, Jasha, about your first date with Selene.
Well, you didn’t come to play, okay.
-That’s definitely right. -[laughter]
What do you mean by that, Jasha? Just tell me.
Well, you know, she came with a shot to the body. I’m like, "Ooh."
-[laughter] -Then a shot to the face. I’m like, "Ooh, okay.
-all right. I’m trying to block, right" -Oh, all of that. Okay.
-You know, but... -She’s a ATL Baddie.
-[Jasha] ATL Baddie. Yeah. -[Stacii] Okay.
-[Jasha] Definitely. Definitely. -[Stacii] Okay.
She came in, and Joya was like, "Oh, she’s pretty. She’s gorgeous."
Wow. How was that feeling really?
It was hard. It was hard.
Like, I see this beautiful, younger, lovely woman
walk in the house, and I saw his face light up,
and all I’m thinking is: "This is interesting."
Yes.
-Let me take you back a little bit... -[Stacii] Okay.
-...before the date started. -Yeah. Okay.
This brother went out. He got his fresh cut.
He’s in the room doing his dips,
working on his arms, went to the gym.
I was like, "Whoa. I knew you get fresh for me, but damn. I’ll take that."
-[Jasha] Hey. -[laughter]
So, Jasha, you’re on the date. Where did y’all go?
Steak Market. It was a nice vibe. It was very romantic.
We sat down, started talking.
Like, right out the gate, she tells me she’s into, like, meditation and chakras,
and, like, I’m into those same things, right,
and so that was a connection there.
When I told her Joya wants to have a baby soon, and, you know, her age.
She’s young, and she said she didn’t understand where she’s coming from.
So did she wanna have children, like, right now?
It seemed to me that she’s really focused on career
and things like what she got going on.
And I’m like, "Ooh, wow." Like, "Very nice," you know?
[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. Okay. All right.
Jasha, I have to say. You learned a lot.
I like that you gave in to the process of really being on a date
and being inquisitive, and it seems like a slew of compatibility.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
So, now it’s time to decide if you wanna go on a second date.
I’m looking at Jasha. I’m like, "Okay.
I know how you felt about Selene."
So in this moment, I’m trying to be very supportive.
[Stacii] Jasha, you and Selene went out together.
But I don’t know how I’m going to feel
if Jasha does decide to go on a second date with Selene.
Do you wanna take her on a second date?
-We had a good date. -[Stacii] Mmm-hmm.
We got a chance to talk, and I learned a lot of things about her,
had a lot of things in common.
But the energy. I feel like that really wasn’t there.
Like, when I came back, it helped me see all the things,
remind me of all the things that drew me to Joya in the beginning, you know?
Joya’s very...
She’s like just... She’s just the little things.
The way she looks at me...
-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -[Jasha] It’s very, you know, mmm.
I thought you, like, a little Marilyn Monroe seduction kind of energy.
You know what I mean? I like a woman who definitely...
-She does a little. Yeah. -That just looks at you a certain way.
-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -That’s how she got me, you know what I mean?
-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -I mean, she’s very intentional,
and so I didn’t get that from Selene.
And I wouldn’t wanna waste her time.
Okay. All right.
Joya, how do you feel about his decision?
Oh, I feel a little relieved.
-A little relieved. -[Stacii] Okay.
[laughter]
With that being said, it’s time to talk about some dating, honey.
-Mmm. -[laughter]
-Oh, Lord. -[chuckles]
[Stacii] Now, week one, the ladies went on dates.
In week two, the men went on dates.
-Mmm. -But this week, it’s gonna be a little bit different.
You’re going on a date with somebody you already know...
...very well.
Ourselves.
Your ex.
Who?
Our ex?
Yeah.
I’m not feeling this one.
This week, it’s gonna be a little bit different.
You’re gonna go on a date with someone you already know very well.
-Mmm. -Your ex.
Our ex?
Don’t be scared.
-[laughter] -[Stacii] It’s gonna be okay.
Why, Dr. Stacii?
-How does this help us? -[Stacii] It’s a process.
It’s a process. Let’s just take it in.
Remember: there’s no way you can move forward looking back.
So if you have any triggers that are coming up from this ex,
then those triggers need to be realized, right- self-actualization is real-
before you move forward with this person.
And I can say, Joya and Jasha,
your exes weren’t comfortable meeting up with you as a part of this process,
and that’s perfectly fine.
I would never wanna do anything to jeopardize
the wonderful co-parenting relationship you guys have created with them.
However, that doesn’t change the fact that you all still have issues to address.
So, I’m gonna be meeting with you all privately this week
to dig into this area together. Sound good?
-[both] Sounds good. -[Stacii] Perfect.
-Sounds great. -[laughter]
-Yes. -[sighs]
-Look at that. You got a smile on his face now. -[Stacii] Look at how happy...
[laughter]
Ooh, okay. I was like, [sighs].
-I’m ready for it. -[Stacii] Jasha, you were ready.
-Yeah. -I’m ready for it.
-[Stacii] Y’all were ready for it. -I was like,
"If this is what it’s gonna be..."
I think having a one-on-one with Dr. Stacii is better for where we are.
It’s gonna really help us move forward,
and I’m feeling relieved right now.
Okay. But Catherine and Ricky, well,
your exes gonna still come. Okay. [laughs]
Really? There’s no ex. [laughs]
But I promise you, you’re gonna be all good.
-Right. -[Stacii] You really will.
Remember: there’s always a goal.
And this week, we’re identifying the patterns and behaviors
from your past relationships that may be affecting your current one.
But I’m here to give you the tools to move on from the past.
Once and one for all.
You feeling a little bit nervous?
Yeah, a little nervous. More curious, though,
to who’s gonna be on the date today.
Right.
Did you feel like you need any closure from any of your exes?
No, not really.
Obviously, we’ve had the conversation.
Like, created new boundaries with your ex-wife.
But a lot of my issues is you doing that on your own and not me asking you.
I’m Chelsea. I am Ricky’s ex-wife
and the mother to his beautiful son.
Although me and him are divorced,
we are, like, the best of friends.
So I just want him to have someone who can come in
and work with us, not against us.
-Oh. Somebody’s at the door! -All right.
-Finally. -Finally. Right.
-It was a late date. -[sighs] Okay.
[laughter]
-I knew it was your ass. -[laughs]
-[Ricky] I knew it, too. -Okay.
This is good ’cause this is necessary. Like, we need this.
We need to go ahead and put some stuff in perspective
because I’ma be around.
-What’s up? -[Ricky] What’s going on?
Well, I mean, obviously, we’re in this process, you know?
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
And, like, you keep coming up because we’re trying to get a space of boundaries.
I always felt, like, when it came to certain things
like respect, loyalty, you just didn’t have to explain
what that look like.
And so it’s definitely frustrating
when Ricky doesn’t already kind of have an understanding
that, "Okay, this might hurt my relationship,"
or, "This might hurt my girlfriend or offend her in some way."
Not everybody ex would be interested in trying to help their ex
move forward, but I appreciate you for real, for real.
-Likewise. -All right. Let’s do it.
-Let’s knock it out. -Let’s do it.
-But y’all have fun. -All right.
Please be more of a gentleman to her
-than you do to me. -[Ricky] I will.
-Ooh. -Help him to understand, Chelsea.
[Chelsea] All right.
[sighs]
-Sorry about that. -Just come along.
Just come along. Just work with me.
-Trying to work out-- -Not you opening doors... Ooh!
-I like this. I like this Ricky. Yes. -Just a little bit...
♪ Let’s go, let’s go Let’s go ♪
[phone dial tone]
[automated voice] Call has been forwarded
to an automated voice messaging system.
Okay.
[automated voice] At the tone, please record your message.
When you finish recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options.
[beep]
Hey, Chance and Dunbar. It’s Dr. Stacii.
Just calling. I’m a bit concerned.
Y’all didn’t show up at group, so... [sighs]
We were making some really great progress,
and I was really excited to continue to work with you all,
so just give me a call when you can.
All right. Love and light.
[producer] So, can you tell us
why you missed the group session the other day?
So, we took some time to regroup.
It was a lot. He went on the date. I went on the date.
We were meeting other couples.
We had other people in our ear.
We had to have some soul-searching,
-some time alone, away from everybody. -Yeah.
It’s a lot tougher than what we thought.
Wonder what’s going on.
Hmm.
-Oh, boy. I’m trying to tell you. -Girl, I’m getting better.
I’m trying to tell you.
-I’m gonna tell Cat. -[chuckles]
-[Chelsea] You doing good. -Hey, please, do. Please, do.
-How you feeling? -Good.
You nervous to be on a date with me?
I’m glad this is happening, to be honest,
so that’s a good thing for me.
And hopefully, you can help me with, like, letting her know about us co-parenting.
It’s really frustrating that Cat doesn’t understand
that our co-parent works just as it is.
We’re not doing anything that’s disrespectful.
We’re just trying to do what’s best for our son.
Does she know our history?
-Yeah. -Okay.
-She’s been around a long time, too. -Okay.
Like, not as long as you, of course.
I do feel as though Catherine is threatened
because of Ricky and I’s past relationship,
our present relationship, and that we have a child together.
I don’t think she understands us.
Do you think Cat feels like I’ve crossed any boundaries?
There was a time where, you know, when you was doing your thing,
the hosting and stuff like that,
and we was tag-teaming the situation.
-You would leave. -Mmm-hmm.
I would come through, take Chase to school
-while you’d try to take care of some stuff. -Mmm-hmm.
-And she felt like that was a lot, and I guess it was. -Too much.
I’m a woman, too.
So I definitely understand where she’s coming from
as far as sleeping over the house, and that stopped.
So I’m just not sure of what more she wants.
Do you feel like you’re doing too much when it comes to me?
These are things I wanna do, so it’s, like... It’s not too much.
I think if she was more vocal when it came to what she wanted,
it would help the situation.
But at the same time, we have to be in each other’s lives.
And I don’t want her insecurities
to try to come in between his relationship with his son.
When it comes to co-parenting, I don’t feel like you’re doing anything out of the ordinary.
-Mmm. -You’re not crossing over any boundaries.
You know. Like, I don’t hit you up after a certain time,
even if it does pertain to the kids.
I feel the same way, man.
-She’s been through a lot. -Mmm-hmm.
-I see a lot of pain, a lot of trauma. -Mmm-hmm.
-We can’t just ignore everything. -Mmm-hmm.
Catherine’s been through a lot.
In particular, with men with kids and the baby mothers.
And I’m trying to be as sensitive and understanding as possible.
Maybe all of us needs to go out on a date.
You know what I’m saying? Just so she can get to know me.
We can interact together. You know what I’m saying? Like...
-And be comfortable about the situation. -Yeah.
You set it up.
-Okay. -You.
Because I don’t want her to feel like she’s forced
-to try to... -Right. That’s what I said.
...accept stuff.
-Right. -You know? Like...
I want Catherine and Chelsea to have a good relationship
because they both love my son,
and they both gonna be in my life.
And so it’s really important to me that they are cool.
-Cheers. Appreciate the help once again, man. -[Chelsea] ’Course.
Are you feeling relieved that we don’t have to go on a date with our exes?
-Please. There’s... -I couldn’t believe it.
I was like, "There is not one ex that I wanna see."
They’re an ex for a reason.
-Thankfully, we’re not going on dates with our exes. -Thank God.
So instead, Dr. Stacii is coming over to our house
to give us a private session.
-[knocking on door] -That might be her. Let’s see.
Oh, man.
-Hi, Joya! -Hey!
-Oh, my gosh. Hello, Dr. Stacii. -How are you?
Going into our private session with Dr. Stacii,
we are looking to get some more clarity on our timeline.
I think we’ll be able to really dive in and make some more progress.
Let’s talk about our exes.
Tell me. How are you all managing the co-parenting
with your daughter and your son’s father and mom?
My son lives with me primarily.
His father is in New York.
-He spends the summers at home with him... -Mmm-hmm.
-[Stacii] Okay. -...and the school year here with me.
-Okay. Okay. -[Jasha] Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
And then what about you, Jasha?
My daughter’s with my ex-wife.
I was married for about five years.
-So in Georgia? -[Jasha] In Georgia, yes.
-Okay. -[Jasha] So I can see her any time.
She has remarried since then, so it’s a good co-parenting relationship.
[Stacii] Okay. Oh, good stuff.
And Joya, why is having a child so important?
I never initially wanted to just have one child.
-I want that one to have a brother or a sister... -Mmm-hmm.
[Joya] ...so that they don’t grow up alone.
But it was very important for me to be married before I did that.
When I met Jasha, and our journey,
and how we’ve, you know, come together, I’m like, "Now is the time."
I love the thought process you’ve put into your "Why."
Now we just gotta...
We have to realize there’s a real human being here
that also has something that he wants.
So I wanna dig a little deeper. I want you to be gone.
I want him to be able to move forward with me,
but if there are fears, now is the time
for us to address them with Dr. Stacii
so we can get them cleared up, moved out the way, and move on.
So, how are you feeling?
-This process has been, you know, a challenge. -Mmm-hmm.
It’s a test, but I’m feeling good.
Why did y’all divorce?
It was a lot of stuff going on.
There were some trust issues at that time,
-but also ended up getting in a tough spot financially. -Mmm-hmm.
And it just wasn’t a good fit.
It definitely was a tough time.
I was young. I didn’t really know myself 100%.
So I said, "I gotta be better. I gotta start listening to self-help books."
I got into meditation, things that would help me get my mindset
where I could become better.
I appreciate everything because Joya is the manifestation
of the work that I’ve been doing on myself.
-How was that with you getting married... -Mmm-hmm.
...and someone else now is raising your daughter?
-How has that affected you and your connection... -Mmm-hmm.
...and decisions with Joya?
That is something that I dealt with
that I didn’t know how much it bothered me.
It just... It sucks. You know what I’m saying?
Like, you’re wondering the memories that you’re not making
and the little things you missing out on.
-Do you have fear... -Mmm-hmm.
-...that your next child from your choices today... -Yeah.
...could possibly be raised, although you can go see him, played Dad for those days,
-right, is that a fear? -That is right.
-That is a fear. Yes. Yeah. -Yes.
-Awareness is power. -Yes, it is. Mmm-hmm.
That’s a fear, and it’s hesitation.
-Also fearing that I won’t be able to provide for them. -Mmm-hmm.
We all wanna feel like we can provide and take care of our kids.
-Yeah. -And that sucks if you, you know,
get into a situation where you can’t provide,
or you lose your family to something that’s out of your control.
Are you afraid that if you don’t do it in her time,
she might leave you?
Uh...
Yeah. A little bit. Um... That’s the pressure.
I feel torn because I don’t wanna wait too long and lose Joya,
but also, I don’t wanna let the fear of losing Joya
make me do something that I’m not ready to do.
What I wanna see is y’all be together,
but I more than that wanna see you all have hard conversations
that need to be had now so that then we can really know
where this thing is going because if not,
and you spend four, five years into something,
you look back, you’re like, "Dang. What are we doing?"
-[Ricky] Looking good. -[Catherine] Thank you.
How you feeling about this?
I mean, you know... I’m feeling excited.
-You better get your popcorn. -[laughs] No, ’cause this about to be a movie.
This whole process has been a movie.
’Cause I didn’t hear no stories, right.
-Correct. -It’s a movie.
-But... -I just want you to learn something, too.
You know what I’m saying? I just want you to get whatever you think you can get
-out of-- -We wanted to see ourselves.
-Yeah. -And really see where we could both kind of
-help each other be better... -Right.
-...in this relationship. -Right.
[Catherine] Going to this date,
I’m nervous and anxious all at the same time.
I really feel that from all of my exes,
that I really have the right closure.
And so I’m not really understanding which ex I would need to talk to
to create more healing because it’s like, "What did I miss?"
-You look fabulous. -Thank you, baby.
-[Ricky] Got the white toenails out. -I know.
I feel fabulous.
[Corey] I’m Corey. I’m 40 years old, I work in engineering,
and I’m Catherine’s ex-fiance.
Catherine and I met at the job.
We started just friends, then, before you know it, we was in a relationship.
She was really nice, and she was there to help you.
She was there to support you, and she always have your back,
which is hard to find.
-Uh-oh. I’ll answer. -Oh, shucks. Oh, man.
Too right.
-You ready? -Yeah.
All right. Here we go.
-[screams] -Hey!
Hey, Corey.
-What’s going on? -Hey, friend.
-Hey. -How you doing?
-Corey, this is Ricky. -What’s up, bro? Nice to meet you, man.
-Nice to meet you, too. -Ricky, this is Corey.
What’s up? What’s up?
When we opened the door up and I see Corey,
it’s kind of like... It was very funny. [laughs]
Corey is cool.
Me and Corey don’t have anything going on in no kind of way.
Corey moved on and married his beautiful wife, Stacey,
and so it’s kind of, like, okay, this is...
This is gonna be a good date. I know I’m gonna have a good time.
-How have you been? -Oh, I’m chilling. I’m just living.
-Right. -[Corey] You know?
Me and Corey met when I was 20, and he was 36.
And we dated for about three years.
We did get engaged.
Me and Corey went through so much,
so during marriage counseling, we just decided that it just wasn’t gonna work.
So, when I was dating her, bro, she was hot-headed, man.
-Like, how you dealing with stuff, bro? -[bleep]
Yeah. That was hard, bro.
She still can be like that, for sure, on certain things,
but she’s opening up, and, like, she’s really improving
and trying to get better, and that’s what we want from the both of us.
-That’s what’s up. All right. All right. -[Ricky] Mmm-hmm.
[Corey] She was never against getting help.
She was always willing to work on herself.
I would like her to be happy, and if this the guy that she wanna marry,
maybe I can help her out.
I trust her. I trust you. I just... You know. We getting better out here.
-Okay. Cool. -[Ricky] For sure.
[Corey] I just wanted to get it for you.
Thank you. [laughs]
-Wow. -So, how has it been in Houston?
-It’s been fine. Can’t complain. -That’s good.
And you’re married now. How’s Stacey?
Yeah, Stacey’s doing good.
-That’s good. -She’d doing good. So, are y’all engaged,
or y’all going through the process?
We’re going through the process of trying to get engaged.
It’s kind of like when we were going through marriage counseling
-when we were dating. -Oh.
And we wanted to make sure that we was kind of doing it the right way, you know?
So, what you think he needs to work on?
Well, I think... It’s kind of, like, running into the same issues we had
with you and the mother of your child.
-Oh, God. -It’s those boundaries.
You know, creating a boundary
so that you can have a healthy relationship with a new person.
Well, the key thing is knowing how to communicate.
Some people think communication is just y’all just
expressing each other’s feelings, what’s going on.
But to me, communication is, like, understanding what somebody’s saying.
-Mmm-hmm. -And you gotta empathize
because this was a while ago between me and you, you was like a pit bull.
-I was a firecracker. -Yeah.
-You was rough. You was rough. -I was. I was.
When Catherine and I dated, she was a little stubborn,
and she had to get her point across no matter what.
I think at times, her emotions did get the best of her,
and it could be things that happened eight or nine months ago
that she would bring up and make it such a big old dramatic thing
when it was something very, very minor.
"Why is he feeling like this, and how can I help?"
Right.
Think that’s kind of where I’m getting to now.
It’s, like, I’m getting to the space of really trying to understand him
and why he would rather handle situations a certain way.
What you mean when he says he trying it out his way, like...?
Well, you know, we just kind of got over the hurdle of his co-parenting style.
At some point, he started spending the night at his ex’s house.
Initially, I was like, "Yeah, that’s cool
’cause you trying to take care of your kids."
But then it just got to a space. It was just like,
"Okay, now we just doing too much." Like... You know?
I can feel you on this one a little bit.
You know, ’cause if my wife was spending the night at some guy’s house...
-Yeah! -...you know, I wouldn’t like that.
’Cause I know that they’re comfortable with each other.
But it’s, like, me being comfortable with the entire environment.
[Corey] Yeah.
Once we started talking about the co-parenting, it hit me.
This is why Corey’s here.
What do you feel were some of my issues
with, like, insecurities and trust when we were dating?
-We just fussed a lot. -Mine was still-- Yeah,
and it was about some of the stuff,
-which... With Ty. -With Ty.
-Mama. Yeah. -I got you.
Corey didn’t make a decision of making me a priority.
He wanted to keep going back and forth with his baby mama on drama,
and she brought a lot of drama into our lives.
And so that definitely makes me nervous
to be seeing Ricky not create the standard
as to how he’s gonna do co-parenting.
I guess I could understand why you had the issue
with my son’s mother, Ty.
and I should have handled it differently if I could, but I was trying.
I feel everything you’re saying.
Right. I mean, I understand that now.
When I was 20-something, I had no understanding.
And you have every right to feel that way
because if I was to twist something,
-I might feel the same way, too. -Mmm-hmm.
I feel like maybe that insecurity started with you.
And I never got past that.
-Okay. -And so I kind of carried that until I ran into it again.
So, what’s the goal here? Like, what y’all gonna do?
-I mean... -I have to trust him.
I have to communicate to him when I’m feeling uneasy about a situation.
I have to be understanding to how he wants to handle it.
Because at the end of the day, it is about the kids.
Every day, I’m on my new journey, trying to be a better woman.
You know? And I appreciate you for the parts that you played in that.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
The fact that Catherine is distant now is huge
because to me, she’s showing growth,
and she’s not so hot-headed no more.
And I hope she can get past all the things that she went through in the past
and move on.
Okay. So, you all missed the group session.
-Yeah. -[Stacii] What’s going on?
Like, Chance and Dunbar are out the building? What is...
Inform me. What is up? Real talk.
Well, throughout this process, me and Chance realized
that we definitely, definitely are truly in love with each other.
-Mmm-hmm. -So we sat down after the couple of meetings,
the first couple of sessions, and we realized that dating the other people
is not really for us. It’s not for us.
It’s not what we wanna do moving forward.
-But we have learned so much through this process. -So much.
I am in the best situation
with the person at this time that can help me grow.
I’m not depressed anymore. I don’t fight no more.
-Oh, it just went away. -Yeah.
[sighs]
-What about the process isn’t working? Because-- -Let me say this.
Number one: you have to notice,
you’ll notice that if a man is not 100% submissive to God,
he won’t make a change.
So when a man really trusts himself
and finds a woman who brings him closer to himself,
he can make a change.
-I’m for that. Dunbar-- -So let me say this.
We had some breakthrough.
Really, tremendous work, I have to say, that you were doing.
To get a brother in any process
to really connect with his inner self...
-That was beautiful. -Mmm.
But I wanted you to share that with her
to bring you all closer together.
This process, honestly, it is hard.
And it’s really less about the dating other people
than you being really honest with who you are and where you are.
-Right. -[Stacii] You said to me, Dunbar, "I don’t trust her."
-Well... -Is that what you said, word for word?
-Well... -Or is she putting words in your mouth?
Yeah. I definitely didn’t say that.
I don’t know how to say, "Chance, baby, I really probably need help."
-Mmm. -I’m just going by not trusting
that she’ll understand.
A lot of things that I’ve been going through in the past
has been because of struggling with mental issues,
struggling with depression.
What I didn’t trust was that when I do give somebody everything,
they tend to leave me.
Because he doesn’t trust you, there’s something there
that, really, might not have nothing to do with you but about his past.
-Chance, we’re on the tip of some good stuff. -[Chance] Yep.
[Stacii] And it breaks my heart today that you are betraying you.
-Let’s talk now. Let’s have a conversation. -Okay. No. We’re talking.
How am I betraying myself by choosing to work with this man,
-the man that I love? -No, I didn’t--
-How am I betraying myself? -[Stacii] No, no, no. I am not--
-Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about it. -Yeah, let’s talk about it.
Okay. How am I betraying myself?
-Tell me. -What I said was...
I didn’t say it’s anything against you working with him.
-Yeah. Yeah. -Again, healthy romantic relationships.
-It’s not me against you... -Right.
...and it’s not me against Dunbar.
It’s just I’m calling facts facts.
-Okay. -You’re betraying yourself, Chance,
by not listening to the red flags.
Not red flags to run and flee, but red flags to work on.
And the fact that, honestly, Dunbar, you don’t want to acknowledge
right now just your truth, it is betrayal to her.
Approaching the hard stuff and getting through it.
That is literally... That is this process.
-Yeah. -And you guys are just walking out on that.
You’re not doing the work because you quit.
And honestly, I did see so much promise.
You can run from your problems.
But your problems will follow you.
And it just breaks my heart.
When it comes this process, it made us very uncomfortable.
-Good and bad. -[Chance] Yeah.
[Dunbar] We did learn a lot.
Learned a lot. I’ve always been a very fast learner,
not that I know everything, but I’m like,
"Okay, Chance, this is what you need to work on."
I see what he needs. We made a lot of progress.
-I’m gonna do it our way. -Yeah.
I’m disappointed in your decision,
but we all have our journey.
We all have our way. I wish you all nothing but the best.
For you individually and for you together.
If you ever do need me, reach out.
Dr. Stacii and going out on the dates.
I mean, that’s inspirational for those who need it.
I just think that when it comes to me and Chance,
we’re on another level, and so we’re now looking for the next chapter.
-Love and light. -Yeah. Thank you.
-Thank you. -[Stacii] Thank you.
-Thank you, Dr. Stacii. -Thank you again.
Do you have an image of that man? Like, can you feel him?
-Like, you know what it is? -Mmm-hmm. It’s his lips.
-Oh, Lord. Okay. -[laughs]
I ain’t gonna get you in trouble.
Oh, boy. She was a little extra flirty and touchy-feely.
Wanted to grab on me a little bit.
It’s working for you.
-Thank you. -That looks great.
You wanna try some?
-Let me feed it to you real quick. -Mmm-mmm. [laughs]
What is wrong with you? I’m just...
Open up! Okay.
She tried to feed me.
[Catherine] He has lost all his damn sense.
It just definitely changed the course
of how I’m gonna be moving forward in the process.
Let the games begin.
[Stacii] A very important part of this process is our group dynamic.
Y’all know we can’t continue with two empty seats.
So I’ve invited a new couple to join us.
-What? -Right.