1 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,750 {\an1}This week, only the guys will be going out on dates. 2 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:16,818 {\an1}Ladies, are you ready to see your man head out with another woman? 3 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,950 {\an1}No. 4 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:19,695 {\an1}He better not do nothing he don’t do for me. 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,520 {\an1}You better not betray me, okay, ’cause I will cut you. 6 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,816 {\an1}Oh, Lord. 7 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:26,287 {\an1}-What are you looking for in a man? -Someone that’s confident, 8 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,126 {\an1}loving, caring. 9 00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:30,701 {\an1}-All right. Scoot over, baby. I’m listening. -That sound like him? Okay. 10 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:34,631 {\an1}I’m like, "Look, baby. That’s mine, baby. You’re renting him." 11 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,998 {\an1}-Okay. Hold me real tight. -Yeah, okay. 12 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,637 {\an1}I’m real big on horoscopes and stuff. 13 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,772 {\an1}I like the chakras and the metaphysical stuff. 14 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:41,977 {\an1}Oh, you’re talking my language. 15 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:43,339 {\an1}-[laughs] -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 16 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:47,477 {\an1}Me and my ex-wife needed somebody to be there with the kids. 17 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,224 {\an1}And I would just, like, spend the night on the couch. 18 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,549 {\an1}Yeah, I really don’t have no issue with that. 19 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,454 {\an1}If you trust a person like you say you do, 20 00:00:52,486 --> 00:00:53,886 {\an1}then you should trust them enough to know 21 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,121 {\an1}-that they’re not gonna do nothing behind your back. -Right. 22 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:59,056 {\an1}[Stacii] The fear that you have right now, my brother, 23 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,692 {\an1}it will be the death of you. 24 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,699 {\an1}♪ We’ve been so in love for a minute na-na ♪ 25 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:12,365 {\an1}♪ Let’s make it official lock it down say some vows ♪ 26 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:16,576 {\an1}♪ I do, I do, I do, I do Do you? ♪ 27 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:24,081 {\an1}I’ve never told anybody this in my life. 28 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:28,047 {\an1}What is it? Because the fear that you have right now, my brother, 29 00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,386 {\an1}it will be the death of you. 30 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,761 {\an1}[cries] 31 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:45,414 {\an1}I struggle with anger, depression, anxiety. 32 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:49,779 {\an1}And I pray because I don’t wanna hurt anybody no more. 33 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:51,954 {\an1}So, you’re scared that... 34 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,579 {\an1}Chance, she’ll leave me. 35 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,376 {\an1}I get emotional because sometimes 36 00:01:57,417 --> 00:02:00,287 {\an1}it’s like you’re on an island by yourself, you know? 37 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:02,925 {\an1}It just reminds me of some things 38 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,186 {\an1}that I’ve experienced in the past. 39 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:05,634 {\an1}And it’s not a good feeling. 40 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,229 {\an1}My stepfather, when he came home, 41 00:02:07,260 --> 00:02:10,300 {\an1}he was angry about his job, so he took it out on my mom. 42 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:13,570 {\an1}To be a child and live in a house where your mom is beat on 43 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,400 {\an1}because your dad is tired- it confused me 44 00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,396 {\an1}because I was never taught how to love. 45 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:19,438 {\an1}I was taught how to fight. 46 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:24,444 {\an1}-First of all, mental illness is serious. -Yes. 47 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:27,608 {\an1}And it is something that, if you do have, 48 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,618 {\an1}I feel, Dunbar, that you have to accept first. 49 00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:44,332 {\an1}With that, know that there’s nothing you can lose as a result of it. 50 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:48,603 {\an1}I believe that you are tormenting yourself 51 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:53,005 {\an1}with not trusting that the people who truly love you 52 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,180 {\an1}will stay. 53 00:02:56,777 --> 00:03:01,007 {\an1}And that as a team, you all will work through this together. 54 00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,979 {\an1}I was an angry child. I was an angry football player. 55 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,818 {\an1}And I would take the things that was done to me 56 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,694 {\an1}on the football field to my home. 57 00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:13,263 {\an1}The depression, the anxiety was hitting me, 58 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:16,333 {\an1}and I found myself to be very vocal abusive. 59 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:20,533 {\an1}I would yell. I would cuss. I would scream to my woman. 60 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:25,267 {\an1}I don’t wanna push her away, but I don’t know how to say, 61 00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:29,605 {\an1}"Chance, baby, I really probably need help." 62 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,143 {\an1}-Mmm. -I’m just going by... 63 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:35,978 {\an1}...not trusting that she’ll understand. 64 00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:39,386 {\an1}The last girl that I was really in love with 65 00:03:39,418 --> 00:03:43,319 {\an1}when I started having breakouts, she literally left me. 66 00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,886 {\an1}Think about this. 67 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,565 {\an1}What if it brought you closer? 68 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,993 {\an1}Right. 69 00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,528 {\an1}[Stacii] Maybe let’s change the narrative 70 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:55,345 {\an1}because right now, the torture that you’re experiencing 71 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:58,468 {\an1}that you are causing yourself... 72 00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:00,345 {\an1}So, can you create a narrative right now- 73 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,013 {\an1}I just wanna see what you might do without me being here- 74 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:07,253 {\an1}of how you’re going to share this information? 75 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,420 {\an1}Well, I know Chance. I know Chance loves me. 76 00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:15,021 {\an1}And she’s gonna make sure that I get the proper counseling that I need, 77 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,225 {\an1}and she’s gonna support me. 78 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,627 {\an1}And if she doesn’t? 79 00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,899 {\an1}And if she doesn’t, the right person 80 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,369 {\an1}and the right programs will be there, too, 81 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,229 {\an1}and they will come into my life. 82 00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:32,368 {\an1}I always say awareness and acceptance is power. 83 00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,034 {\an1}Okay. 84 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,683 {\an1}It’s power. 85 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,879 {\an1}And you’re looking at it as being not. 86 00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,952 {\an1}-Right. -But, truly, it can be your superpower. 87 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,352 {\an1}It’s kind of like with the date. You wanted to control that. 88 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,215 {\an1}-You gotta take your hands off this thing. -Right. 89 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,565 {\an1}And be responsible for the best of who you are. 90 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,128 {\an1}Thank you. 91 00:04:53,159 --> 00:04:54,930 {\an1}And my heart does go out to you, 92 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:59,771 {\an1}but I see, still, Dunbar trying to control the narrative. 93 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,200 {\an1}Right. 94 00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,974 {\an1}[Stacii] And if that is truly your fear 95 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,613 {\an1}and all of your insecurities with losing her, 96 00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,969 {\an1}if that is the core of it, 97 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:13,808 {\an1}then you are stepping in the way of your own breakthrough. 98 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,247 {\an1}Not breakthrough with Chance. 99 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,579 {\an1}Breakthrough with Dunbar. 100 00:05:17,617 --> 00:05:20,647 {\an1}Some things you wanna keep internal, 101 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:25,757 {\an1}and you wanna make sure that that partner is ready to receive that message. 102 00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:28,232 {\an1}I realized that we have to communicate with each other, 103 00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:31,601 {\an1}and the things that are important need to always be on the table. 104 00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:35,401 {\an1}So I made a vow to myself that the next person that really loves me 105 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,735 {\an1}I’m going to change. 106 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,240 {\an1}-Okay. -Thank you. 107 00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,911 {\an1}-Good stuff. Did you have any more questions for me? -No. 108 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,911 {\an1}These sessions are important. 109 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,183 {\an1}-Mmm-hmm. -I really do love Chance. 110 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,783 {\an1}Yes, I can tell. 111 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:52,524 {\an1}And I just wanna make sure that I’m, no matter what, 112 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,822 {\an1}-moving myself in the right direction. -Mmm-hmm. 113 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,925 {\an1}I’m gonna open up, and thank you for this opportunity 114 00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,658 {\an1}-to learn more about myself. -Absolutely. 115 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,204 {\an1}All right. All right. Thank you again. 116 00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,800 {\an1}-Thank you for sharing that with me. I know that was hard. -[sighs] 117 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:10,940 {\an1}["Play With Fire," by Vanacore Music playing] 118 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,871 {\an1}♪ Do you really wanna play with fire? ♪ 119 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,506 {\an1}♪ Hey, hey ♪ 120 00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,311 {\an1}♪ You can draw me high but I fly higher ♪ 121 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,806 {\an1}-Hey! -Hey, how you doing? 122 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,718 {\an1}Come on in. Yes! 123 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,550 {\an1}-Hey, Ricky. -Hey, how you doing? 124 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,985 {\an1}-Hey. You look nice. -Hey, Miss Catherine. 125 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,460 {\an1}Y’all look good. Come on, Ricky, with the red shirt. 126 00:06:29,489 --> 00:06:30,989 {\an1}-[Catherine] Thank you. -[Ricky] Thank you. Appreciate it. 127 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:31,964 {\an1}That means you bringing some fire today. 128 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,292 {\an1}Nah, we bringing peace and love and just... 129 00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:35,497 {\an1}-Harmony. -Yeah, harmony. 130 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:37,228 {\an1}I love it. I love it. 131 00:06:37,264 --> 00:06:39,634 {\an1}-Hello! -[Stacii] Hey! 132 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,366 {\an1}[Joya] Definitely looking forward to seeing the other couples. 133 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:48,512 {\an1}Unlike the first date with Chance and Dunbar was crazy. 134 00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:51,341 {\an1}And I also wanna know how did Catherine do? 135 00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:52,848 {\an1}I just wanna see how it all unfolded. 136 00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:54,349 {\an1}I’m waiting for the juicy stuff. 137 00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:58,221 {\an1}Has anyone heard from Chance and Dunbar at all? 138 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,821 {\an1}-No, we have not. -Yeah. 139 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,094 {\an1}-[Stacii] No? -No. 140 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,492 {\an1}All right. 141 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,533 {\an1}We’re gonna wait a little bit longer, and hopefully they show up. 142 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:13,529 {\an1}We’re waiting, and we’re waiting, and we’re waiting. 143 00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,997 {\an1}Where in the hell is Chance and Dunbar? 144 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:21,207 {\an1}Okay. So, it appears Chance and Dunbar will not be joining us today. 145 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:25,241 {\an1}Not exactly sure why, but I will definitely follow up. 146 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:28,008 {\an1}[Jasha] It’s very unfortunate that they’re not able to come today 147 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:31,778 {\an1}-and, you know, get to work. We’re here to do the work. -Right. 148 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:35,218 {\an1}So, let’s not waste any more time. Let’s get into it. 149 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,125 {\an1}Ricky, let’s start with you. 150 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,617 {\an1}-Yes. -You went on a first date with... 151 00:07:38,658 --> 00:07:39,928 {\an1}-Sheila. -Sheila. Yes. 152 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,130 {\an1}Yes. I’m gonna be real. It was a good date. 153 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,462 {\an1}She was an attractive girl. 154 00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:46,126 {\an1}She just had on, like, a dress, but it was, like... 155 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,196 {\an1}Oh, no, no. What’s, "A dress"? 156 00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:49,204 {\an1}[laughter] 157 00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,595 {\an1}What was the dress? I see-- 158 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,967 {\an1}Everything I just covered on me was covered on her. 159 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,107 {\an1}-Oh, and it stopped-- -Being right there. [laughs] 160 00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,612 {\an1}Oh, right there. [laughs] 161 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:01,254 {\an1}-She looked... Ey. -[laughter] 162 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:06,391 {\an1}But I was just like, "Wow," like, "I did this to myself." 163 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,749 {\an1}So, where did y’all go? 164 00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,917 {\an1}Parlor Bar Grill. It’s, like, a Caribbean spot. 165 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:13,886 {\an1}She was real relaxed and chill, easy to talk to. 166 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,087 {\an1}What did y’all talk about? 167 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:18,098 {\an1}We did end up talking about the issue that we have, 168 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,731 {\an1}how I’m basically co-parenting. 169 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,167 {\an1}And I told her the main situation 170 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:27,473 {\an1}was basically Cat didn’t like that I was helping my baby mother out 171 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,977 {\an1}by spending a night when she was out and gone. 172 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,950 {\an1}And then what did she say in regard to how you’re handling the co-pare-- 173 00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:36,980 {\an1}She didn’t really... To be honest, she really didn’t have a problem with it. 174 00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,494 {\an1}How do you feel hearing that, Catherine? 175 00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:44,159 {\an1}I laugh because I was the same until I became his girlfriend. 176 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,790 {\an1}At the beginning of our relationship, 177 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,685 {\an1}Ricky and his ex-wife, Chelsea, would call each other 178 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:53,168 {\an1}and just talk about things, to me, that are not in the co-parenting space. 179 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:56,699 {\an1}And Ricky spending the night, them doing stuff, going out to eat, 180 00:08:56,736 --> 00:08:59,936 {\an1}still going to events together as a collective family... 181 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,943 {\an1}And, to me, like, my thing to Ricky was: 182 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:05,315 {\an1}no woman would be okay with another woman having access to her man 183 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,055 {\an1}in a way that Chelsea has access to you. 184 00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,710 {\an1}[Stacii] Is he still staying the night? 185 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,348 {\an1}-[Catherine] Oh, no. We had to stop that. -Yeah. 186 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,653 {\an1}-[Catherine] Yeah. -So you get back home. 187 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,885 {\an1}-Mmm-hmm. -And what’s the discussion? 188 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:18,391 {\an1}He came back just, like, really enjoying the process... 189 00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,965 {\an1}-Yeah. -...and telling me, like, about the date 190 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,063 {\an1}and how he did share certain parts of our relationship with her 191 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,726 {\an1}and how she gave feedback. 192 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:29,304 {\an1}What I like most is that even with what you both learned 193 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:32,405 {\an1}through this process, it brought you closer. 194 00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,709 {\an1}Good stuff. All right. 195 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,681 {\an1}Ricky, will Sheila be getting a second date? 196 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:42,821 {\an1}Um, unfortunately no, she will not. 197 00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,019 {\an1}-Why? -[Ricky] She was a great date. 198 00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,720 {\an1}-Uh-huh. -[Ricky] But at the end of the day, 199 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,193 {\an1}I don’t want Cat to think that, you know, 200 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:51,592 {\an1}it’s any more than a learning experience. 201 00:09:51,624 --> 00:09:54,034 {\an1}I’m not feeling you don’t wanna go on the date, 202 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:58,360 {\an1}but you just not going out with Sheila because of Catherine, 203 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,068 {\an1}and you’re concerned for her. 204 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,400 {\an1}It kind of doesn’t work with the process. Do you see what I’m saying? 205 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,696 {\an1}-Mmm-hmm. -[Stacii] So... 206 00:10:05,805 --> 00:10:07,105 {\an1}...I’ll ask you again. 207 00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,940 {\an1}-[both laugh] -Will Sheila get another date, Ricky? 208 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:15,620 {\an1}Um... 209 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:30,056 {\an1}So, I’ll ask you again. 210 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:33,766 {\an1}-[both laugh] -Will Sheila get another date, Ricky? 211 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,430 {\an1}I mean, she’s a good date. 212 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:39,608 {\an1}Like, if I was single, yeah, she’d get another date easy, so yeah... 213 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,609 {\an1}Okay. Thank you. 214 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,981 {\an1}-Thought about that. -Do you know how that helps you and Catherine? 215 00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:46,381 {\an1}I do now. 216 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:49,822 {\an1}So, it looks like I’m officially going on another date with Sheila. 217 00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,579 {\an1}I really did wanna go on a date with her, 218 00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:56,188 {\an1}but I definitely don’t wanna give Catherine any more reasons to feel insecure. 219 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,332 {\an1}All right. Let’s find out about Jasha. 220 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,789 {\an1}Hey. Okay. 221 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,557 {\an1}Tell me, Jasha, about your first date with Selene. 222 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,504 {\an1}Well, you didn’t come to play, okay. 223 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,773 {\an1}-That’s definitely right. -[laughter] 224 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,340 {\an1}What do you mean by that, Jasha? Just tell me. 225 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:13,110 {\an1}Well, you know, she came with a shot to the body. I’m like, "Ooh." 226 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,879 {\an1}-[laughter] -Then a shot to the face. I’m like, "Ooh, okay. 227 00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,979 {\an1}-all right. I’m trying to block, right" -Oh, all of that. Okay. 228 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,181 {\an1}-You know, but... -She’s a ATL Baddie. 229 00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,383 {\an1}-[Jasha] ATL Baddie. Yeah. -[Stacii] Okay. 230 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,784 {\an1}-[Jasha] Definitely. Definitely. -[Stacii] Okay. 231 00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:26,185 {\an1}She came in, and Joya was like, "Oh, she’s pretty. She’s gorgeous." 232 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:29,119 {\an1}Wow. How was that feeling really? 233 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,315 {\an1}It was hard. It was hard. 234 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:35,557 {\an1}Like, I see this beautiful, younger, lovely woman 235 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:40,335 {\an1}walk in the house, and I saw his face light up, 236 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,966 {\an1}and all I’m thinking is: "This is interesting." 237 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:44,372 {\an1}Yes. 238 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:45,844 {\an1}-Let me take you back a little bit... -[Stacii] Okay. 239 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,912 {\an1}-...before the date started. -Yeah. Okay. 240 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,741 {\an1}This brother went out. He got his fresh cut. 241 00:11:50,777 --> 00:11:52,407 {\an1}He’s in the room doing his dips, 242 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,545 {\an1}working on his arms, went to the gym. 243 00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:59,391 {\an1}I was like, "Whoa. I knew you get fresh for me, but damn. I’ll take that." 244 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,989 {\an1}-[Jasha] Hey. -[laughter] 245 00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:05,221 {\an1}So, Jasha, you’re on the date. Where did y’all go? 246 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,028 {\an1}Steak Market. It was a nice vibe. It was very romantic. 247 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,102 {\an1}We sat down, started talking. 248 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:17,741 {\an1}Like, right out the gate, she tells me she’s into, like, meditation and chakras, 249 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,910 {\an1}and, like, I’m into those same things, right, 250 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:22,109 {\an1}and so that was a connection there. 251 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:26,011 {\an1}When I told her Joya wants to have a baby soon, and, you know, her age. 252 00:12:26,045 --> 00:12:29,675 {\an1}She’s young, and she said she didn’t understand where she’s coming from. 253 00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,216 {\an1}So did she wanna have children, like, right now? 254 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,592 {\an1}It seemed to me that she’s really focused on career 255 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:35,961 {\an1}and things like what she got going on. 256 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:40,029 {\an1}And I’m like, "Ooh, wow." Like, "Very nice," you know? 257 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,289 {\an1}[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. Okay. All right. 258 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:44,528 {\an1}Jasha, I have to say. You learned a lot. 259 00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:49,074 {\an1}I like that you gave in to the process of really being on a date 260 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:54,412 {\an1}and being inquisitive, and it seems like a slew of compatibility. 261 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,080 {\an1}-Yeah. -Yeah. 262 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,479 {\an1}So, now it’s time to decide if you wanna go on a second date. 263 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,452 {\an1}I’m looking at Jasha. I’m like, "Okay. 264 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:06,253 {\an1}I know how you felt about Selene." 265 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,946 {\an1}So in this moment, I’m trying to be very supportive. 266 00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:11,958 {\an1}[Stacii] Jasha, you and Selene went out together. 267 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,061 {\an1}But I don’t know how I’m going to feel 268 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:18,504 {\an1}if Jasha does decide to go on a second date with Selene. 269 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,801 {\an1}Do you wanna take her on a second date? 270 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,839 {\an1}-We had a good date. -[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. 271 00:13:24,871 --> 00:13:28,511 {\an1}We got a chance to talk, and I learned a lot of things about her, 272 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,011 {\an1}had a lot of things in common. 273 00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:35,307 {\an1}But the energy. I feel like that really wasn’t there. 274 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,778 {\an1}Like, when I came back, it helped me see all the things, 275 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,788 {\an1}remind me of all the things that drew me to Joya in the beginning, you know? 276 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,661 {\an1}Joya’s very... 277 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,360 {\an1}She’s like just... She’s just the little things. 278 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,531 {\an1}The way she looks at me... 279 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,159 {\an1}-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -[Jasha] It’s very, you know, mmm. 280 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:51,004 {\an1}I thought you, like, a little Marilyn Monroe seduction kind of energy. 281 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,130 {\an1}You know what I mean? I like a woman who definitely... 282 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,136 {\an1}-She does a little. Yeah. -That just looks at you a certain way. 283 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,039 {\an1}-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -That’s how she got me, you know what I mean? 284 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,371 {\an1}-[Stacii] Mmm-hmm. -I mean, she’s very intentional, 285 00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,535 {\an1}and so I didn’t get that from Selene. 286 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,705 {\an1}And I wouldn’t wanna waste her time. 287 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,614 {\an1}Okay. All right. 288 00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:09,846 {\an1}Joya, how do you feel about his decision? 289 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,522 {\an1}Oh, I feel a little relieved. 290 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,552 {\an1}-A little relieved. -[Stacii] Okay. 291 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,365 {\an1}[laughter] 292 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:22,900 {\an1}With that being said, it’s time to talk about some dating, honey. 293 00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,229 {\an1}-Mmm. -[laughter] 294 00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:25,633 {\an1}-Oh, Lord. -[chuckles] 295 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,675 {\an1}[Stacii] Now, week one, the ladies went on dates. 296 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,870 {\an1}In week two, the men went on dates. 297 00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:35,842 {\an1}-Mmm. -But this week, it’s gonna be a little bit different. 298 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,105 {\an1}You’re going on a date with somebody you already know... 299 00:14:40,346 --> 00:14:41,776 {\an1}...very well. 300 00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,749 {\an1}Ourselves. 301 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,324 {\an1}Your ex. 302 00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:50,355 {\an1}Who? 303 00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,760 {\an1}Our ex? 304 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:52,931 {\an1}Yeah. 305 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,359 {\an1}I’m not feeling this one. 306 00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:07,914 {\an1}This week, it’s gonna be a little bit different. 307 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:11,780 {\an1}You’re gonna go on a date with someone you already know very well. 308 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,751 {\an1}-Mmm. -Your ex. 309 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,310 {\an1}Our ex? 310 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,478 {\an1}Don’t be scared. 311 00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,046 {\an1}-[laughter] -[Stacii] It’s gonna be okay. 312 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:19,254 {\an1}Why, Dr. Stacii? 313 00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,085 {\an1}-How does this help us? -[Stacii] It’s a process. 314 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,590 {\an1}It’s a process. Let’s just take it in. 315 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:27,563 {\an1}Remember: there’s no way you can move forward looking back. 316 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,403 {\an1}So if you have any triggers that are coming up from this ex, 317 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:34,900 {\an1}then those triggers need to be realized, right- self-actualization is real- 318 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,404 {\an1}before you move forward with this person. 319 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,737 {\an1}And I can say, Joya and Jasha, 320 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:45,413 {\an1}your exes weren’t comfortable meeting up with you as a part of this process, 321 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,315 {\an1}and that’s perfectly fine. 322 00:15:47,346 --> 00:15:50,116 {\an1}I would never wanna do anything to jeopardize 323 00:15:50,149 --> 00:15:54,419 {\an1}the wonderful co-parenting relationship you guys have created with them. 324 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:59,634 {\an1}However, that doesn’t change the fact that you all still have issues to address. 325 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:03,959 {\an1}So, I’m gonna be meeting with you all privately this week 326 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,496 {\an1}to dig into this area together. Sound good? 327 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,832 {\an1}-[both] Sounds good. -[Stacii] Perfect. 328 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,967 {\an1}-Sounds great. -[laughter] 329 00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,642 {\an1}-Yes. -[sighs] 330 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,512 {\an1}-Look at that. You got a smile on his face now. -[Stacii] Look at how happy... 331 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:17,041 {\an1}[laughter] 332 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,276 {\an1}Ooh, okay. I was like, [sighs]. 333 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,212 {\an1}-I’m ready for it. -[Stacii] Jasha, you were ready. 334 00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,307 {\an1}-Yeah. -I’m ready for it. 335 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:23,478 {\an1}-[Stacii] Y’all were ready for it. -I was like, 336 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,976 {\an1}"If this is what it’s gonna be..." 337 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,147 {\an1}I think having a one-on-one with Dr. Stacii is better for where we are. 338 00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,057 {\an1}It’s gonna really help us move forward, 339 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,859 {\an1}and I’m feeling relieved right now. 340 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:34,361 {\an1}Okay. But Catherine and Ricky, well, 341 00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:36,963 {\an1}your exes gonna still come. Okay. [laughs] 342 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,496 {\an1}Really? There’s no ex. [laughs] 343 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,172 {\an1}But I promise you, you’re gonna be all good. 344 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,570 {\an1}-Right. -[Stacii] You really will. 345 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:45,302 {\an1}Remember: there’s always a goal. 346 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:49,238 {\an1}And this week, we’re identifying the patterns and behaviors 347 00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:53,155 {\an1}from your past relationships that may be affecting your current one. 348 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:57,779 {\an1}But I’m here to give you the tools to move on from the past. 349 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,194 {\an1}Once and one for all. 350 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:10,565 {\an1}You feeling a little bit nervous? 351 00:17:10,596 --> 00:17:13,596 {\an1}Yeah, a little nervous. More curious, though, 352 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,502 {\an1}to who’s gonna be on the date today. 353 00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,845 {\an1}Right. 354 00:17:16,868 --> 00:17:19,269 {\an1}Did you feel like you need any closure from any of your exes? 355 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:20,875 {\an1}No, not really. 356 00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,406 {\an1}Obviously, we’ve had the conversation. 357 00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:26,080 {\an1}Like, created new boundaries with your ex-wife. 358 00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:30,082 {\an1}But a lot of my issues is you doing that on your own and not me asking you. 359 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:36,790 {\an1}I’m Chelsea. I am Ricky’s ex-wife 360 00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,692 {\an1}and the mother to his beautiful son. 361 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,594 {\an1}Although me and him are divorced, 362 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,727 {\an1}we are, like, the best of friends. 363 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:47,033 {\an1}So I just want him to have someone who can come in 364 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,996 {\an1}and work with us, not against us. 365 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:51,903 {\an1}-Oh. Somebody’s at the door! -All right. 366 00:17:51,938 --> 00:17:53,768 {\an1}-Finally. -Finally. Right. 367 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,966 {\an1}-It was a late date. -[sighs] Okay. 368 00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,209 {\an1}[laughter] 369 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,885 {\an1}-I knew it was your ass. -[laughs] 370 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,784 {\an1}-[Ricky] I knew it, too. -Okay. 371 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:06,416 {\an1}This is good ’cause this is necessary. Like, we need this. 372 00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:09,252 {\an1}We need to go ahead and put some stuff in perspective 373 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,258 {\an1}because I’ma be around. 374 00:18:10,289 --> 00:18:11,589 {\an1}-What’s up? -[Ricky] What’s going on? 375 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,294 {\an1}Well, I mean, obviously, we’re in this process, you know? 376 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,957 {\an1}Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 377 00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:19,235 {\an1}And, like, you keep coming up because we’re trying to get a space of boundaries. 378 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,605 {\an1}I always felt, like, when it came to certain things 379 00:18:22,635 --> 00:18:25,745 {\an1}like respect, loyalty, you just didn’t have to explain 380 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,271 {\an1}what that look like. 381 00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:29,336 {\an1}And so it’s definitely frustrating 382 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:33,515 {\an1}when Ricky doesn’t already kind of have an understanding 383 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:35,646 {\an1}that, "Okay, this might hurt my relationship," 384 00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:37,851 {\an1}or, "This might hurt my girlfriend or offend her in some way." 385 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,953 {\an1}Not everybody ex would be interested in trying to help their ex 386 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,688 {\an1}move forward, but I appreciate you for real, for real. 387 00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:47,134 {\an1}-Likewise. -All right. Let’s do it. 388 00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:48,859 {\an1}-Let’s knock it out. -Let’s do it. 389 00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:51,134 {\an1}-But y’all have fun. -All right. 390 00:18:51,163 --> 00:18:52,703 {\an1}Please be more of a gentleman to her 391 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:53,702 {\an1}-than you do to me. -[Ricky] I will. 392 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:57,473 {\an1}-Ooh. -Help him to understand, Chelsea. 393 00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:58,373 {\an1}[Chelsea] All right. 394 00:18:59,505 --> 00:19:00,705 {\an1}[sighs] 395 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:02,340 {\an1}-Sorry about that. -Just come along. 396 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,515 {\an1}Just come along. Just work with me. 397 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:07,853 {\an1}-Trying to work out-- -Not you opening doors... Ooh! 398 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:12,520 {\an1}-I like this. I like this Ricky. Yes. -Just a little bit... 399 00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:16,391 {\an1}♪ Let’s go, let’s go Let’s go ♪ 400 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,825 {\an1}[phone dial tone] 401 00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,530 {\an1}[automated voice] Call has been forwarded 402 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:28,565 {\an1}to an automated voice messaging system. 403 00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,201 {\an1}Okay. 404 00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,336 {\an1}[automated voice] At the tone, please record your message. 405 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:35,641 {\an1}When you finish recording, you may hang up, or press one for more options. 406 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,845 {\an1}[beep] 407 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:40,706 {\an1}Hey, Chance and Dunbar. It’s Dr. Stacii. 408 00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,376 {\an1}Just calling. I’m a bit concerned. 409 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:47,846 {\an1}Y’all didn’t show up at group, so... [sighs] 410 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:50,017 {\an1}We were making some really great progress, 411 00:19:50,056 --> 00:19:54,086 {\an1}and I was really excited to continue to work with you all, 412 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:57,056 {\an1}so just give me a call when you can. 413 00:19:57,096 --> 00:20:00,296 {\an1}All right. Love and light. 414 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,571 {\an1}[producer] So, can you tell us 415 00:20:03,602 --> 00:20:05,842 {\an1}why you missed the group session the other day? 416 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,911 {\an1}So, we took some time to regroup. 417 00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:11,040 {\an1}It was a lot. He went on the date. I went on the date. 418 00:20:11,077 --> 00:20:12,377 {\an1}We were meeting other couples. 419 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,281 {\an1}We had other people in our ear. 420 00:20:14,313 --> 00:20:16,453 {\an1}We had to have some soul-searching, 421 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,722 {\an1}-some time alone, away from everybody. -Yeah. 422 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,491 {\an1}It’s a lot tougher than what we thought. 423 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,192 {\an1}Wonder what’s going on. 424 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,764 {\an1}Hmm. 425 00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:44,235 {\an1}-Oh, boy. I’m trying to tell you. -Girl, I’m getting better. 426 00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:45,876 {\an1}I’m trying to tell you. 427 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,681 {\an1}-I’m gonna tell Cat. -[chuckles] 428 00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:50,523 {\an1}-[Chelsea] You doing good. -Hey, please, do. Please, do. 429 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:52,879 {\an1}-How you feeling? -Good. 430 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,518 {\an1}You nervous to be on a date with me? 431 00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,763 {\an1}I’m glad this is happening, to be honest, 432 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,019 {\an1}so that’s a good thing for me. 433 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:04,458 {\an1}And hopefully, you can help me with, like, letting her know about us co-parenting. 434 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:06,727 {\an1}It’s really frustrating that Cat doesn’t understand 435 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,226 {\an1}that our co-parent works just as it is. 436 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,598 {\an1}We’re not doing anything that’s disrespectful. 437 00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,437 {\an1}We’re just trying to do what’s best for our son. 438 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,842 {\an1}Does she know our history? 439 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:17,635 {\an1}-Yeah. -Okay. 440 00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,746 {\an1}-She’s been around a long time, too. -Okay. 441 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,979 {\an1}Like, not as long as you, of course. 442 00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:26,485 {\an1}I do feel as though Catherine is threatened 443 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,619 {\an1}because of Ricky and I’s past relationship, 444 00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:34,225 {\an1}our present relationship, and that we have a child together. 445 00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:37,260 {\an1}I don’t think she understands us. 446 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:42,296 {\an1}Do you think Cat feels like I’ve crossed any boundaries? 447 00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:44,944 {\an1}There was a time where, you know, when you was doing your thing, 448 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,940 {\an1}the hosting and stuff like that, 449 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,772 {\an1}and we was tag-teaming the situation. 450 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,238 {\an1}-You would leave. -Mmm-hmm. 451 00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:52,276 {\an1}I would come through, take Chase to school 452 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,181 {\an1}-while you’d try to take care of some stuff. -Mmm-hmm. 453 00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:58,324 {\an1}-And she felt like that was a lot, and I guess it was. -Too much. 454 00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:59,650 {\an1}I’m a woman, too. 455 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:02,485 {\an1}So I definitely understand where she’s coming from 456 00:22:02,521 --> 00:22:06,931 {\an1}as far as sleeping over the house, and that stopped. 457 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:12,359 {\an1}So I’m just not sure of what more she wants. 458 00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:15,628 {\an1}Do you feel like you’re doing too much when it comes to me? 459 00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:19,038 {\an1}These are things I wanna do, so it’s, like... It’s not too much. 460 00:22:20,506 --> 00:22:26,106 {\an1}I think if she was more vocal when it came to what she wanted, 461 00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,785 {\an1}it would help the situation. 462 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:32,523 {\an1}But at the same time, we have to be in each other’s lives. 463 00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:36,721 {\an1}And I don’t want her insecurities 464 00:22:36,755 --> 00:22:41,985 {\an1}to try to come in between his relationship with his son. 465 00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:47,367 {\an1}When it comes to co-parenting, I don’t feel like you’re doing anything out of the ordinary. 466 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:49,699 {\an1}-Mmm. -You’re not crossing over any boundaries. 467 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,565 {\an1}You know. Like, I don’t hit you up after a certain time, 468 00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:54,475 {\an1}even if it does pertain to the kids. 469 00:22:54,506 --> 00:22:56,036 {\an1}I feel the same way, man. 470 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:57,985 {\an1}-She’s been through a lot. -Mmm-hmm. 471 00:22:58,010 --> 00:22:59,810 {\an1}-I see a lot of pain, a lot of trauma. -Mmm-hmm. 472 00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:02,545 {\an1}-We can’t just ignore everything. -Mmm-hmm. 473 00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:04,021 {\an1}Catherine’s been through a lot. 474 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:07,849 {\an1}In particular, with men with kids and the baby mothers. 475 00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:13,327 {\an1}And I’m trying to be as sensitive and understanding as possible. 476 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,659 {\an1}Maybe all of us needs to go out on a date. 477 00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:18,704 {\an1}You know what I’m saying? Just so she can get to know me. 478 00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:21,371 {\an1}We can interact together. You know what I’m saying? Like... 479 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,870 {\an1}-And be comfortable about the situation. -Yeah. 480 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,273 {\an1}You set it up. 481 00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:29,606 {\an1}-Okay. -You. 482 00:23:29,642 --> 00:23:34,882 {\an1}Because I don’t want her to feel like she’s forced 483 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,684 {\an1}-to try to... -Right. That’s what I said. 484 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,346 {\an1}...accept stuff. 485 00:23:39,385 --> 00:23:40,725 {\an1}-Right. -You know? Like... 486 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:44,193 {\an1}I want Catherine and Chelsea to have a good relationship 487 00:23:44,223 --> 00:23:46,223 {\an1}because they both love my son, 488 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,388 {\an1}and they both gonna be in my life. 489 00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:51,197 {\an1}And so it’s really important to me that they are cool. 490 00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:53,800 {\an1}-Cheers. Appreciate the help once again, man. -[Chelsea] ’Course. 491 00:24:07,646 --> 00:24:10,716 {\an1}Are you feeling relieved that we don’t have to go on a date with our exes? 492 00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,279 {\an1}-Please. There’s... -I couldn’t believe it. 493 00:24:12,318 --> 00:24:15,048 {\an1}I was like, "There is not one ex that I wanna see." 494 00:24:15,087 --> 00:24:16,787 {\an1}They’re an ex for a reason. 495 00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:20,492 {\an1}-Thankfully, we’re not going on dates with our exes. -Thank God. 496 00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:23,626 {\an1}So instead, Dr. Stacii is coming over to our house 497 00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:25,802 {\an1}to give us a private session. 498 00:24:32,838 --> 00:24:34,668 {\an1}-[knocking on door] -That might be her. Let’s see. 499 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:37,107 {\an1}Oh, man. 500 00:24:39,511 --> 00:24:41,681 {\an1}-Hi, Joya! -Hey! 501 00:24:41,714 --> 00:24:45,124 {\an1}-Oh, my gosh. Hello, Dr. Stacii. -How are you? 502 00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:47,820 {\an1}Going into our private session with Dr. Stacii, 503 00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:52,323 {\an1}we are looking to get some more clarity on our timeline. 504 00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:57,158 {\an1}I think we’ll be able to really dive in and make some more progress. 505 00:24:57,196 --> 00:24:58,996 {\an1}Let’s talk about our exes. 506 00:25:00,199 --> 00:25:02,699 {\an1}Tell me. How are you all managing the co-parenting 507 00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:06,005 {\an1}with your daughter and your son’s father and mom? 508 00:25:06,038 --> 00:25:08,808 {\an1}My son lives with me primarily. 509 00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,681 {\an1}His father is in New York. 510 00:25:10,709 --> 00:25:12,879 {\an1}-He spends the summers at home with him... -Mmm-hmm. 511 00:25:12,911 --> 00:25:14,051 {\an1}-[Stacii] Okay. -...and the school year here with me. 512 00:25:14,079 --> 00:25:15,349 {\an1}-Okay. Okay. -[Jasha] Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 513 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:16,681 {\an1}And then what about you, Jasha? 514 00:25:16,715 --> 00:25:18,215 {\an1}My daughter’s with my ex-wife. 515 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,550 {\an1}I was married for about five years. 516 00:25:19,585 --> 00:25:21,025 {\an1}-So in Georgia? -[Jasha] In Georgia, yes. 517 00:25:21,053 --> 00:25:23,463 {\an1}-Okay. -[Jasha] So I can see her any time. 518 00:25:23,489 --> 00:25:27,489 {\an1}She has remarried since then, so it’s a good co-parenting relationship. 519 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,556 {\an1}[Stacii] Okay. Oh, good stuff. 520 00:25:28,594 --> 00:25:32,004 {\an1}And Joya, why is having a child so important? 521 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:36,501 {\an1}I never initially wanted to just have one child. 522 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,465 {\an1}-I want that one to have a brother or a sister... -Mmm-hmm. 523 00:25:39,505 --> 00:25:40,975 {\an1}[Joya] ...so that they don’t grow up alone. 524 00:25:41,006 --> 00:25:45,076 {\an1}But it was very important for me to be married before I did that. 525 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:47,410 {\an1}When I met Jasha, and our journey, 526 00:25:47,446 --> 00:25:51,516 {\an1}and how we’ve, you know, come together, I’m like, "Now is the time." 527 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:54,890 {\an1}I love the thought process you’ve put into your "Why." 528 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,490 {\an1}Now we just gotta... 529 00:25:56,522 --> 00:25:59,422 {\an1}We have to realize there’s a real human being here 530 00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:02,528 {\an1}that also has something that he wants. 531 00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:05,361 {\an1}So I wanna dig a little deeper. I want you to be gone. 532 00:26:05,397 --> 00:26:07,667 {\an1}I want him to be able to move forward with me, 533 00:26:07,699 --> 00:26:09,939 {\an1}but if there are fears, now is the time 534 00:26:09,968 --> 00:26:12,098 {\an1}for us to address them with Dr. Stacii 535 00:26:12,137 --> 00:26:15,867 {\an1}so we can get them cleared up, moved out the way, and move on. 536 00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,738 {\an1}So, how are you feeling? 537 00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:20,906 {\an1}-This process has been, you know, a challenge. -Mmm-hmm. 538 00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:23,676 {\an1}It’s a test, but I’m feeling good. 539 00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:25,115 {\an1}Why did y’all divorce? 540 00:26:25,150 --> 00:26:26,890 {\an1}It was a lot of stuff going on. 541 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:28,789 {\an1}There were some trust issues at that time, 542 00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:32,121 {\an1}-but also ended up getting in a tough spot financially. -Mmm-hmm. 543 00:26:32,157 --> 00:26:33,857 {\an1}And it just wasn’t a good fit. 544 00:26:33,892 --> 00:26:35,962 {\an1}It definitely was a tough time. 545 00:26:35,994 --> 00:26:38,434 {\an1}I was young. I didn’t really know myself 100%. 546 00:26:38,464 --> 00:26:42,404 {\an1}So I said, "I gotta be better. I gotta start listening to self-help books." 547 00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:45,444 {\an1}I got into meditation, things that would help me get my mindset 548 00:26:45,471 --> 00:26:47,041 {\an1}where I could become better. 549 00:26:47,072 --> 00:26:50,712 {\an1}I appreciate everything because Joya is the manifestation 550 00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:53,212 {\an1}of the work that I’ve been doing on myself. 551 00:26:53,245 --> 00:26:57,425 {\an1}-How was that with you getting married... -Mmm-hmm. 552 00:26:57,449 --> 00:27:01,619 {\an1}...and someone else now is raising your daughter? 553 00:27:01,653 --> 00:27:06,163 {\an1}-How has that affected you and your connection... -Mmm-hmm. 554 00:27:06,191 --> 00:27:07,961 {\an1}...and decisions with Joya? 555 00:27:07,993 --> 00:27:11,933 {\an1}That is something that I dealt with 556 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:16,304 {\an1}that I didn’t know how much it bothered me. 557 00:27:16,335 --> 00:27:17,745 {\an1}It just... It sucks. You know what I’m saying? 558 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,969 {\an1}Like, you’re wondering the memories that you’re not making 559 00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:23,106 {\an1}and the little things you missing out on. 560 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:26,910 {\an1}-Do you have fear... -Mmm-hmm. 561 00:27:26,945 --> 00:27:30,775 {\an1}-...that your next child from your choices today... -Yeah. 562 00:27:30,816 --> 00:27:35,416 {\an1}...could possibly be raised, although you can go see him, played Dad for those days, 563 00:27:35,454 --> 00:27:37,994 {\an1}-right, is that a fear? -That is right. 564 00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:39,663 {\an1}-That is a fear. Yes. Yeah. -Yes. 565 00:27:39,691 --> 00:27:42,991 {\an1}-Awareness is power. -Yes, it is. Mmm-hmm. 566 00:27:43,028 --> 00:27:45,698 {\an1}That’s a fear, and it’s hesitation. 567 00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:49,271 {\an1}-Also fearing that I won’t be able to provide for them. -Mmm-hmm. 568 00:27:49,301 --> 00:27:51,041 {\an1}We all wanna feel like we can provide and take care of our kids. 569 00:27:51,069 --> 00:27:53,439 {\an1}-Yeah. -And that sucks if you, you know, 570 00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:55,442 {\an1}get into a situation where you can’t provide, 571 00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:59,214 {\an1}or you lose your family to something that’s out of your control. 572 00:27:59,244 --> 00:28:04,624 {\an1}Are you afraid that if you don’t do it in her time, 573 00:28:04,650 --> 00:28:06,650 {\an1}she might leave you? 574 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,045 {\an1}Uh... 575 00:28:09,588 --> 00:28:12,888 {\an1}Yeah. A little bit. Um... That’s the pressure. 576 00:28:12,925 --> 00:28:15,965 {\an1}I feel torn because I don’t wanna wait too long and lose Joya, 577 00:28:15,994 --> 00:28:19,564 {\an1}but also, I don’t wanna let the fear of losing Joya 578 00:28:19,598 --> 00:28:22,228 {\an1}make me do something that I’m not ready to do. 579 00:28:22,267 --> 00:28:24,997 {\an1}What I wanna see is y’all be together, 580 00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:29,237 {\an1}but I more than that wanna see you all have hard conversations 581 00:28:29,274 --> 00:28:33,344 {\an1}that need to be had now so that then we can really know 582 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,478 {\an1}where this thing is going because if not, 583 00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:38,985 {\an1}and you spend four, five years into something, 584 00:28:39,017 --> 00:28:41,447 {\an1}you look back, you’re like, "Dang. What are we doing?" 585 00:28:48,627 --> 00:28:50,697 {\an1}-[Ricky] Looking good. -[Catherine] Thank you. 586 00:28:50,729 --> 00:28:52,259 {\an1}How you feeling about this? 587 00:28:52,297 --> 00:28:54,367 {\an1}I mean, you know... I’m feeling excited. 588 00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:58,399 {\an1}-You better get your popcorn. -[laughs] No, ’cause this about to be a movie. 589 00:28:58,437 --> 00:29:00,767 {\an1}This whole process has been a movie. 590 00:29:00,806 --> 00:29:01,736 {\an1}’Cause I didn’t hear no stories, right. 591 00:29:01,773 --> 00:29:03,343 {\an1}-Correct. -It’s a movie. 592 00:29:03,375 --> 00:29:06,785 {\an1}-But... -I just want you to learn something, too. 593 00:29:06,812 --> 00:29:09,212 {\an1}You know what I’m saying? I just want you to get whatever you think you can get 594 00:29:09,248 --> 00:29:10,378 {\an1}-out of-- -We wanted to see ourselves. 595 00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:13,245 {\an1}-Yeah. -And really see where we could both kind of 596 00:29:13,285 --> 00:29:15,055 {\an1}-help each other be better... -Right. 597 00:29:15,087 --> 00:29:16,247 {\an1}-...in this relationship. -Right. 598 00:29:16,288 --> 00:29:17,518 {\an1}[Catherine] Going to this date, 599 00:29:17,556 --> 00:29:19,056 {\an1}I’m nervous and anxious all at the same time. 600 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:22,261 {\an1}I really feel that from all of my exes, 601 00:29:22,294 --> 00:29:24,064 {\an1}that I really have the right closure. 602 00:29:24,096 --> 00:29:27,926 {\an1}And so I’m not really understanding which ex I would need to talk to 603 00:29:27,966 --> 00:29:32,466 {\an1}to create more healing because it’s like, "What did I miss?" 604 00:29:32,504 --> 00:29:35,474 {\an1}-You look fabulous. -Thank you, baby. 605 00:29:35,507 --> 00:29:37,407 {\an1}-[Ricky] Got the white toenails out. -I know. 606 00:29:37,442 --> 00:29:40,412 {\an1}I feel fabulous. 607 00:29:40,445 --> 00:29:43,915 {\an1}[Corey] I’m Corey. I’m 40 years old, I work in engineering, 608 00:29:43,949 --> 00:29:45,719 {\an1}and I’m Catherine’s ex-fiance. 609 00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:47,921 {\an1}Catherine and I met at the job. 610 00:29:47,953 --> 00:29:51,793 {\an1}We started just friends, then, before you know it, we was in a relationship. 611 00:29:51,823 --> 00:29:54,263 {\an1}She was really nice, and she was there to help you. 612 00:29:54,293 --> 00:29:58,163 {\an1}She was there to support you, and she always have your back, 613 00:29:58,196 --> 00:29:59,126 {\an1}which is hard to find. 614 00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:02,899 {\an1}-Uh-oh. I’ll answer. -Oh, shucks. Oh, man. 615 00:30:02,934 --> 00:30:04,004 {\an1}Too right. 616 00:30:04,036 --> 00:30:05,396 {\an1}-You ready? -Yeah. 617 00:30:05,437 --> 00:30:07,637 {\an1}All right. Here we go. 618 00:30:07,673 --> 00:30:09,143 {\an1}-[screams] -Hey! 619 00:30:09,174 --> 00:30:10,144 {\an1}Hey, Corey. 620 00:30:10,175 --> 00:30:11,975 {\an1}-What’s going on? -Hey, friend. 621 00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,340 {\an1}-Hey. -How you doing? 622 00:30:13,378 --> 00:30:14,908 {\an1}-Corey, this is Ricky. -What’s up, bro? Nice to meet you, man. 623 00:30:14,946 --> 00:30:16,276 {\an1}-Nice to meet you, too. -Ricky, this is Corey. 624 00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:17,455 {\an1}What’s up? What’s up? 625 00:30:17,482 --> 00:30:19,652 {\an1}When we opened the door up and I see Corey, 626 00:30:19,685 --> 00:30:22,755 {\an1}it’s kind of like... It was very funny. [laughs] 627 00:30:22,788 --> 00:30:24,288 {\an1}Corey is cool. 628 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:27,363 {\an1}Me and Corey don’t have anything going on in no kind of way. 629 00:30:27,392 --> 00:30:29,762 {\an1}Corey moved on and married his beautiful wife, Stacey, 630 00:30:29,795 --> 00:30:31,535 {\an1}and so it’s kind of, like, okay, this is... 631 00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:33,973 {\an1}This is gonna be a good date. I know I’m gonna have a good time. 632 00:30:33,999 --> 00:30:37,269 {\an1}-How have you been? -Oh, I’m chilling. I’m just living. 633 00:30:37,302 --> 00:30:38,642 {\an1}-Right. -[Corey] You know? 634 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:42,510 {\an1}Me and Corey met when I was 20, and he was 36. 635 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:44,311 {\an1}And we dated for about three years. 636 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:45,843 {\an1}We did get engaged. 637 00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:47,447 {\an1}Me and Corey went through so much, 638 00:30:47,479 --> 00:30:51,349 {\an1}so during marriage counseling, we just decided that it just wasn’t gonna work. 639 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:55,223 {\an1}So, when I was dating her, bro, she was hot-headed, man. 640 00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:59,463 {\an1}-Like, how you dealing with stuff, bro? -[bleep] 641 00:30:59,491 --> 00:31:01,461 {\an1}Yeah. That was hard, bro. 642 00:31:01,493 --> 00:31:05,963 {\an1}She still can be like that, for sure, on certain things, 643 00:31:05,997 --> 00:31:09,897 {\an1}but she’s opening up, and, like, she’s really improving 644 00:31:09,935 --> 00:31:12,845 {\an1}and trying to get better, and that’s what we want from the both of us. 645 00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:14,671 {\an1}-That’s what’s up. All right. All right. -[Ricky] Mmm-hmm. 646 00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:16,666 {\an1}[Corey] She was never against getting help. 647 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,338 {\an1}She was always willing to work on herself. 648 00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:23,207 {\an1}I would like her to be happy, and if this the guy that she wanna marry, 649 00:31:23,248 --> 00:31:24,748 {\an1}maybe I can help her out. 650 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:28,053 {\an1}I trust her. I trust you. I just... You know. We getting better out here. 651 00:31:28,086 --> 00:31:29,216 {\an1}-Okay. Cool. -[Ricky] For sure. 652 00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:38,896 {\an1}[Corey] I just wanted to get it for you. 653 00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:40,200 {\an1}Thank you. [laughs] 654 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:43,873 {\an1}-Wow. -So, how has it been in Houston? 655 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:45,572 {\an1}-It’s been fine. Can’t complain. -That’s good. 656 00:31:45,604 --> 00:31:47,614 {\an1}And you’re married now. How’s Stacey? 657 00:31:47,639 --> 00:31:49,269 {\an1}Yeah, Stacey’s doing good. 658 00:31:49,307 --> 00:31:52,207 {\an1}-That’s good. -She’d doing good. So, are y’all engaged, 659 00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:53,914 {\an1}or y’all going through the process? 660 00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:56,745 {\an1}We’re going through the process of trying to get engaged. 661 00:31:56,782 --> 00:31:58,722 {\an1}It’s kind of like when we were going through marriage counseling 662 00:31:58,750 --> 00:32:00,320 {\an1}-when we were dating. -Oh. 663 00:32:00,352 --> 00:32:03,592 {\an1}And we wanted to make sure that we was kind of doing it the right way, you know? 664 00:32:03,622 --> 00:32:06,892 {\an1}So, what you think he needs to work on? 665 00:32:06,925 --> 00:32:10,425 {\an1}Well, I think... It’s kind of, like, running into the same issues we had 666 00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:12,732 {\an1}with you and the mother of your child. 667 00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,204 {\an1}-Oh, God. -It’s those boundaries. 668 00:32:14,232 --> 00:32:15,902 {\an1}You know, creating a boundary 669 00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:18,804 {\an1}so that you can have a healthy relationship with a new person. 670 00:32:18,837 --> 00:32:23,737 {\an1}Well, the key thing is knowing how to communicate. 671 00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,635 {\an1}Some people think communication is just y’all just 672 00:32:25,677 --> 00:32:28,377 {\an1}expressing each other’s feelings, what’s going on. 673 00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:32,223 {\an1}But to me, communication is, like, understanding what somebody’s saying. 674 00:32:32,250 --> 00:32:33,890 {\an1}-Mmm-hmm. -And you gotta empathize 675 00:32:33,919 --> 00:32:38,219 {\an1}because this was a while ago between me and you, you was like a pit bull. 676 00:32:38,256 --> 00:32:39,216 {\an1}-I was a firecracker. -Yeah. 677 00:32:39,257 --> 00:32:41,087 {\an1}-You was rough. You was rough. -I was. I was. 678 00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:43,996 {\an1}When Catherine and I dated, she was a little stubborn, 679 00:32:44,029 --> 00:32:46,429 {\an1}and she had to get her point across no matter what. 680 00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:51,245 {\an1}I think at times, her emotions did get the best of her, 681 00:32:51,269 --> 00:32:55,509 {\an1}and it could be things that happened eight or nine months ago 682 00:32:55,540 --> 00:33:00,080 {\an1}that she would bring up and make it such a big old dramatic thing 683 00:33:00,111 --> 00:33:01,611 {\an1}when it was something very, very minor. 684 00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:03,716 {\an1}"Why is he feeling like this, and how can I help?" 685 00:33:04,783 --> 00:33:05,753 {\an1}Right. 686 00:33:05,784 --> 00:33:08,094 {\an1}Think that’s kind of where I’m getting to now. 687 00:33:08,119 --> 00:33:11,619 {\an1}It’s, like, I’m getting to the space of really trying to understand him 688 00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:14,986 {\an1}and why he would rather handle situations a certain way. 689 00:33:15,026 --> 00:33:17,196 {\an1}What you mean when he says he trying it out his way, like...? 690 00:33:17,229 --> 00:33:21,199 {\an1}Well, you know, we just kind of got over the hurdle of his co-parenting style. 691 00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:25,173 {\an1}At some point, he started spending the night at his ex’s house. 692 00:33:25,203 --> 00:33:27,373 {\an1}Initially, I was like, "Yeah, that’s cool 693 00:33:27,405 --> 00:33:28,935 {\an1}’cause you trying to take care of your kids." 694 00:33:28,974 --> 00:33:30,544 {\an1}But then it just got to a space. It was just like, 695 00:33:30,575 --> 00:33:33,005 {\an1}"Okay, now we just doing too much." Like... You know? 696 00:33:33,044 --> 00:33:34,554 {\an1}I can feel you on this one a little bit. 697 00:33:34,579 --> 00:33:38,549 {\an1}You know, ’cause if my wife was spending the night at some guy’s house... 698 00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:40,653 {\an1}-Yeah! -...you know, I wouldn’t like that. 699 00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,045 {\an1}’Cause I know that they’re comfortable with each other. 700 00:33:42,087 --> 00:33:44,387 {\an1}But it’s, like, me being comfortable with the entire environment. 701 00:33:44,422 --> 00:33:45,692 {\an1}[Corey] Yeah. 702 00:33:45,724 --> 00:33:47,964 {\an1}Once we started talking about the co-parenting, it hit me. 703 00:33:47,993 --> 00:33:48,963 {\an1}This is why Corey’s here. 704 00:33:48,994 --> 00:33:52,634 {\an1}What do you feel were some of my issues 705 00:33:52,664 --> 00:33:55,704 {\an1}with, like, insecurities and trust when we were dating? 706 00:33:55,734 --> 00:33:57,044 {\an1}-We just fussed a lot. -Mine was still-- Yeah, 707 00:33:57,068 --> 00:33:59,168 {\an1}and it was about some of the stuff, 708 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:01,174 {\an1}-which... With Ty. -With Ty. 709 00:34:01,206 --> 00:34:02,506 {\an1}-Mama. Yeah. -I got you. 710 00:34:02,541 --> 00:34:05,481 {\an1}Corey didn’t make a decision of making me a priority. 711 00:34:05,510 --> 00:34:10,179 {\an1}He wanted to keep going back and forth with his baby mama on drama, 712 00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:12,485 {\an1}and she brought a lot of drama into our lives. 713 00:34:12,516 --> 00:34:15,817 {\an1}And so that definitely makes me nervous 714 00:34:15,853 --> 00:34:18,364 {\an1}to be seeing Ricky not create the standard 715 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,090 {\an1}as to how he’s gonna do co-parenting. 716 00:34:20,125 --> 00:34:23,695 {\an1}I guess I could understand why you had the issue 717 00:34:23,728 --> 00:34:26,098 {\an1}with my son’s mother, Ty. 718 00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:31,601 {\an1}and I should have handled it differently if I could, but I was trying. 719 00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:34,005 {\an1}I feel everything you’re saying. 720 00:34:34,039 --> 00:34:36,909 {\an1}Right. I mean, I understand that now. 721 00:34:36,942 --> 00:34:40,411 {\an1}When I was 20-something, I had no understanding. 722 00:34:40,445 --> 00:34:42,745 {\an1}And you have every right to feel that way 723 00:34:42,781 --> 00:34:44,521 {\an1}because if I was to twist something, 724 00:34:44,549 --> 00:34:46,779 {\an1}-I might feel the same way, too. -Mmm-hmm. 725 00:34:46,818 --> 00:34:50,588 {\an1}I feel like maybe that insecurity started with you. 726 00:34:50,621 --> 00:34:52,362 {\an1}And I never got past that. 727 00:34:52,389 --> 00:34:55,790 {\an1}-Okay. -And so I kind of carried that until I ran into it again. 728 00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:58,797 {\an1}So, what’s the goal here? Like, what y’all gonna do? 729 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:00,300 {\an1}-I mean... -I have to trust him. 730 00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:03,072 {\an1}I have to communicate to him when I’m feeling uneasy about a situation. 731 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,441 {\an1}I have to be understanding to how he wants to handle it. 732 00:35:05,470 --> 00:35:07,370 {\an1}Because at the end of the day, it is about the kids. 733 00:35:07,405 --> 00:35:10,475 {\an1}Every day, I’m on my new journey, trying to be a better woman. 734 00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:13,438 {\an1}You know? And I appreciate you for the parts that you played in that. 735 00:35:13,478 --> 00:35:15,578 {\an1}Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 736 00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:18,124 {\an1}The fact that Catherine is distant now is huge 737 00:35:18,149 --> 00:35:20,419 {\an1}because to me, she’s showing growth, 738 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,752 {\an1}and she’s not so hot-headed no more. 739 00:35:22,787 --> 00:35:25,887 {\an1}And I hope she can get past all the things that she went through in the past 740 00:35:25,924 --> 00:35:26,764 {\an1}and move on. 741 00:35:35,233 --> 00:35:37,073 {\an1}Okay. So, you all missed the group session. 742 00:35:37,102 --> 00:35:39,372 {\an1}-Yeah. -[Stacii] What’s going on? 743 00:35:39,404 --> 00:35:43,414 {\an1}Like, Chance and Dunbar are out the building? What is... 744 00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:45,881 {\an1}Inform me. What is up? Real talk. 745 00:35:45,910 --> 00:35:50,380 {\an1}Well, throughout this process, me and Chance realized 746 00:35:50,415 --> 00:35:53,485 {\an1}that we definitely, definitely are truly in love with each other. 747 00:35:53,518 --> 00:35:56,218 {\an1}-Mmm-hmm. -So we sat down after the couple of meetings, 748 00:35:56,254 --> 00:36:00,424 {\an1}the first couple of sessions, and we realized that dating the other people 749 00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:02,158 {\an1}is not really for us. It’s not for us. 750 00:36:02,193 --> 00:36:04,063 {\an1}It’s not what we wanna do moving forward. 751 00:36:04,095 --> 00:36:07,965 {\an1}-But we have learned so much through this process. -So much. 752 00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:10,429 {\an1}I am in the best situation 753 00:36:10,468 --> 00:36:15,468 {\an1}with the person at this time that can help me grow. 754 00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:17,337 {\an1}I’m not depressed anymore. I don’t fight no more. 755 00:36:17,375 --> 00:36:19,475 {\an1}-Oh, it just went away. -Yeah. 756 00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:22,011 {\an1}[sighs] 757 00:36:22,047 --> 00:36:25,317 {\an1}-What about the process isn’t working? Because-- -Let me say this. 758 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:29,450 {\an1}Number one: you have to notice, 759 00:36:29,487 --> 00:36:36,127 {\an1}you’ll notice that if a man is not 100% submissive to God, 760 00:36:36,161 --> 00:36:38,131 {\an1}he won’t make a change. 761 00:36:38,163 --> 00:36:41,173 {\an1}So when a man really trusts himself 762 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:44,839 {\an1}and finds a woman who brings him closer to himself, 763 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,499 {\an1}he can make a change. 764 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:48,508 {\an1}-I’m for that. Dunbar-- -So let me say this. 765 00:36:49,574 --> 00:36:51,614 {\an1}We had some breakthrough. 766 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:55,553 {\an1}Really, tremendous work, I have to say, that you were doing. 767 00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:58,720 {\an1}To get a brother in any process 768 00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:01,850 {\an1}to really connect with his inner self... 769 00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:06,724 {\an1}-That was beautiful. -Mmm. 770 00:37:06,758 --> 00:37:08,458 {\an1}But I wanted you to share that with her 771 00:37:08,493 --> 00:37:10,263 {\an1}to bring you all closer together. 772 00:37:11,663 --> 00:37:14,173 {\an1}This process, honestly, it is hard. 773 00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:17,569 {\an1}And it’s really less about the dating other people 774 00:37:17,602 --> 00:37:22,712 {\an1}than you being really honest with who you are and where you are. 775 00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:27,751 {\an1}-Right. -[Stacii] You said to me, Dunbar, "I don’t trust her." 776 00:37:27,779 --> 00:37:30,649 {\an1}-Well... -Is that what you said, word for word? 777 00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:31,852 {\an1}-Well... -Or is she putting words in your mouth? 778 00:37:31,883 --> 00:37:33,283 {\an1}Yeah. I definitely didn’t say that. 779 00:37:33,318 --> 00:37:38,188 {\an1}I don’t know how to say, "Chance, baby, I really probably need help." 780 00:37:38,223 --> 00:37:42,033 {\an1}-Mmm. -I’m just going by not trusting 781 00:37:42,060 --> 00:37:44,760 {\an1}that she’ll understand. 782 00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:47,426 {\an1}A lot of things that I’ve been going through in the past 783 00:37:47,465 --> 00:37:52,395 {\an1}has been because of struggling with mental issues, 784 00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,107 {\an1}struggling with depression. 785 00:37:54,139 --> 00:37:58,009 {\an1}What I didn’t trust was that when I do give somebody everything, 786 00:37:58,042 --> 00:37:59,442 {\an1}they tend to leave me. 787 00:38:01,379 --> 00:38:04,519 {\an1}Because he doesn’t trust you, there’s something there 788 00:38:04,549 --> 00:38:09,349 {\an1}that, really, might not have nothing to do with you but about his past. 789 00:38:09,387 --> 00:38:13,217 {\an1}-Chance, we’re on the tip of some good stuff. -[Chance] Yep. 790 00:38:13,258 --> 00:38:18,098 {\an1}[Stacii] And it breaks my heart today that you are betraying you. 791 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:20,869 {\an1}-Let’s talk now. Let’s have a conversation. -Okay. No. We’re talking. 792 00:38:20,899 --> 00:38:24,099 {\an1}How am I betraying myself by choosing to work with this man, 793 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:25,435 {\an1}-the man that I love? -No, I didn’t-- 794 00:38:25,470 --> 00:38:27,740 {\an1}-How am I betraying myself? -[Stacii] No, no, no. I am not-- 795 00:38:27,772 --> 00:38:29,412 {\an1}-Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about it. -Yeah, let’s talk about it. 796 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:31,780 {\an1}Okay. How am I betraying myself? 797 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:32,980 {\an1}-Tell me. -What I said was... 798 00:38:33,011 --> 00:38:35,981 {\an1}I didn’t say it’s anything against you working with him. 799 00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:38,324 {\an1}-Yeah. Yeah. -Again, healthy romantic relationships. 800 00:38:38,349 --> 00:38:39,749 {\an1}-It’s not me against you... -Right. 801 00:38:39,784 --> 00:38:41,294 {\an1}...and it’s not me against Dunbar. 802 00:38:41,319 --> 00:38:42,889 {\an1}It’s just I’m calling facts facts. 803 00:38:42,921 --> 00:38:46,491 {\an1}-Okay. -You’re betraying yourself, Chance, 804 00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:49,464 {\an1}by not listening to the red flags. 805 00:38:49,494 --> 00:38:54,274 {\an1}Not red flags to run and flee, but red flags to work on. 806 00:38:54,299 --> 00:38:56,999 {\an1}And the fact that, honestly, Dunbar, you don’t want to acknowledge 807 00:38:57,035 --> 00:39:02,345 {\an1}right now just your truth, it is betrayal to her. 808 00:39:02,373 --> 00:39:05,613 {\an1}Approaching the hard stuff and getting through it. 809 00:39:05,643 --> 00:39:07,813 {\an1}That is literally... That is this process. 810 00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:11,416 {\an1}-Yeah. -And you guys are just walking out on that. 811 00:39:11,449 --> 00:39:16,319 {\an1}You’re not doing the work because you quit. 812 00:39:17,288 --> 00:39:20,558 {\an1}And honestly, I did see so much promise. 813 00:39:23,661 --> 00:39:25,331 {\an1}You can run from your problems. 814 00:39:27,465 --> 00:39:29,795 {\an1}But your problems will follow you. 815 00:39:29,834 --> 00:39:31,844 {\an1}And it just breaks my heart. 816 00:39:31,870 --> 00:39:36,170 {\an1}When it comes this process, it made us very uncomfortable. 817 00:39:36,207 --> 00:39:37,437 {\an1}-Good and bad. -[Chance] Yeah. 818 00:39:37,475 --> 00:39:39,005 {\an1}[Dunbar] We did learn a lot. 819 00:39:39,043 --> 00:39:41,853 {\an1}Learned a lot. I’ve always been a very fast learner, 820 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,050 {\an1}not that I know everything, but I’m like, 821 00:39:44,082 --> 00:39:46,722 {\an1}"Okay, Chance, this is what you need to work on." 822 00:39:46,751 --> 00:39:49,551 {\an1}I see what he needs. We made a lot of progress. 823 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:52,657 {\an1}-I’m gonna do it our way. -Yeah. 824 00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:55,360 {\an1}I’m disappointed in your decision, 825 00:39:55,393 --> 00:39:57,533 {\an1}but we all have our journey. 826 00:39:57,562 --> 00:40:02,672 {\an1}We all have our way. I wish you all nothing but the best. 827 00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:07,202 {\an1}For you individually and for you together. 828 00:40:07,238 --> 00:40:10,238 {\an1}If you ever do need me, reach out. 829 00:40:10,275 --> 00:40:13,085 {\an1}Dr. Stacii and going out on the dates. 830 00:40:13,111 --> 00:40:15,251 {\an1}I mean, that’s inspirational for those who need it. 831 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,350 {\an1}I just think that when it comes to me and Chance, 832 00:40:17,382 --> 00:40:22,522 {\an1}we’re on another level, and so we’re now looking for the next chapter. 833 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:26,758 {\an1}-Love and light. -Yeah. Thank you. 834 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,026 {\an1}-Thank you. -[Stacii] Thank you. 835 00:40:29,060 --> 00:40:31,030 {\an1}-Thank you, Dr. Stacii. -Thank you again. 836 00:40:45,476 --> 00:40:48,376 {\an1}Do you have an image of that man? Like, can you feel him? 837 00:40:48,413 --> 00:40:50,383 {\an1}-Like, you know what it is? -Mmm-hmm. It’s his lips. 838 00:40:50,415 --> 00:40:51,885 {\an1}-Oh, Lord. Okay. -[laughs] 839 00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,676 {\an1}I ain’t gonna get you in trouble. 840 00:40:53,718 --> 00:40:57,088 {\an1}Oh, boy. She was a little extra flirty and touchy-feely. 841 00:40:57,121 --> 00:40:58,221 {\an1}Wanted to grab on me a little bit. 842 00:40:58,256 --> 00:40:59,386 {\an1}It’s working for you. 843 00:40:59,424 --> 00:41:01,364 {\an1}-Thank you. -That looks great. 844 00:41:01,392 --> 00:41:02,562 {\an1}You wanna try some? 845 00:41:02,593 --> 00:41:04,363 {\an1}-Let me feed it to you real quick. -Mmm-mmm. [laughs] 846 00:41:04,395 --> 00:41:05,895 {\an1}What is wrong with you? I’m just... 847 00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:07,600 {\an1}Open up! Okay. 848 00:41:07,632 --> 00:41:09,032 {\an1}She tried to feed me. 849 00:41:09,067 --> 00:41:11,967 {\an1}[Catherine] He has lost all his damn sense. 850 00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:13,773 {\an1}It just definitely changed the course 851 00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:15,775 {\an1}of how I’m gonna be moving forward in the process. 852 00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:17,237 {\an1}Let the games begin. 853 00:41:17,275 --> 00:41:20,485 {\an1}[Stacii] A very important part of this process is our group dynamic. 854 00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:22,751 {\an1}Y’all know we can’t continue with two empty seats. 855 00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:26,280 {\an1}So I’ve invited a new couple to join us. 856 00:41:26,317 --> 00:41:27,447 {\an1}-What? -Right.