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00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:06,309
and may contain
mature subject matter.
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00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:10,643
Viewer discretion
is advised.
3
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,043
and may contain
mature(groaning)atter.
4
00:00:15,109 --> 00:00:17,410
-Suzette?
-Dwayne?
5
00:00:17,543 --> 00:00:19,076
Oh!
6
00:00:19,209 --> 00:00:21,010
-Oh, non. Did we...?
7
00:00:21,143 --> 00:00:24,109
-Ugh, of course, we did. Dammit!
8
00:00:24,243 --> 00:00:26,276
-Hopefully, no one
saw us together.
9
00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:29,376
-Oh, shit-sticks.
10
00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:33,243
(groaning in effort)
11
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:35,443
-Huh? Why are you wearing
my clothes?
12
00:00:35,576 --> 00:00:36,977
-Huh?
13
00:00:37,109 --> 00:00:39,543
I don't know, but my ass looks
exquisite in these yoga pants.
14
00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:41,676
Um, yeah!
-Argh...
15
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,043
(apocalyptic music)
16
00:00:48,176 --> 00:00:51,209
(theme music)
17
00:01:09,777 --> 00:01:11,443
(growling)
18
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,343
from last night?ything
19
00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:19,376
-I need a minute.
There's a lot to unpack here.
20
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:22,176
For example,
why are we in the street?
21
00:01:24,109 --> 00:01:26,309
And why is there a giant pig?
-Wait...
22
00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:28,543
If Rafe and Gabe
aren't back yet
23
00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:30,276
and that thing's running loose,
24
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:33,710
maybe everyone else...?
-...got turned into giant pigs!
25
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,043
-No, you idiot!
They could be dead!
26
00:01:36,176 --> 00:01:38,076
Jesus Christ! Hey!
27
00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:40,243
Didn't we run onto each other
at church last night?
28
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,576
-Yes! I was coming out of the
confessional. That was awkward.
29
00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:46,309
-Yeah, that was awkward.
Come on!
30
00:01:46,443 --> 00:01:48,443
(chain rattling)
31
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,610
(suspenseful music)
32
00:01:57,176 --> 00:01:58,910
(sad groan)
33
00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:02,343
-Ooh! Ooh! Ah... Ooh!
34
00:02:02,476 --> 00:02:06,010
(moaning)
35
00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:12,376
(whistling)
36
00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:15,143
(long drag, exhalation)
37
00:02:15,276 --> 00:02:17,643
-Argh!
38
00:02:17,777 --> 00:02:20,076
Alright, Lawless,
39
00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:24,143
I'm here to finish giving your
ass the pounding it deserves!
40
00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:26,543
-Bruh, I burned one
a minute ago,
41
00:02:26,676 --> 00:02:28,943
so I'm gonna need
some context...
42
00:02:29,076 --> 00:02:32,610
-Oh...
-Oh, wait, I remember you!
43
00:02:32,743 --> 00:02:34,777
Joey Jimjohn from St. Zephyr.
44
00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:38,977
Ah, your wife's the hottie
with the tail, right?
45
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,276
(sigh)
46
00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:46,410
-Fight me! I thought you were
a bloodthirsty wasteland psycho!
47
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:50,176
-I am! But right now,
I just wanna kick back,
48
00:02:50,309 --> 00:02:52,476
mellow out, and eat
this weird chicken thing.
49
00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:54,176
(sniggering)
50
00:02:54,309 --> 00:02:56,676
So, I'll take a rain check on
fighting you, Jeffy Jingletoes.
51
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,643
-Please, I've got nothing left.
52
00:02:59,777 --> 00:03:01,576
I used to be something.
53
00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:04,176
Men feared me,
women lusted after me...
54
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:07,777
Then, I mutated
into a big jiggly joke!
55
00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,710
Please,
I just want to end it.
56
00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:13,309
-That's why you're here?
57
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,977
Alright, I'll help you die,
my mutant homie.
58
00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,143
But not for free.
59
00:03:18,276 --> 00:03:21,610
-Oh. Of course. Won't need these
where I'm going.
60
00:03:24,109 --> 00:03:25,643
(gun cocking)
61
00:03:25,777 --> 00:03:27,977
(gunshot, thump)
62
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,243
(groaning)
63
00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:33,943
Oh...
64
00:03:34,977 --> 00:03:37,410
What does this mean?
I can't die?
65
00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:41,276
I can't even end my own
miserable existence? What a rip!
66
00:03:42,643 --> 00:03:44,176
-Um...
67
00:03:44,309 --> 00:03:46,810
In all the time I've been
killing people for money,
68
00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,977
I've never had
to give a refund.
69
00:03:49,109 --> 00:03:51,176
So, I'm taking you on
as a passion project.
70
00:03:51,309 --> 00:03:55,610
I swear I shall murder you,
Jimbo Jellyroll.
71
00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:57,209
-Oh!
72
00:03:57,343 --> 00:03:59,943
(bell ringing)
73
00:04:00,143 --> 00:04:01,676
-(together): Oh!
74
00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:03,343
(sinister organ music)
75
00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,143
-Where'd all these big-butt nuns
come from?
76
00:04:06,276 --> 00:04:09,543
-The good Lord didn't send them,
I can tell you that much.
77
00:04:09,676 --> 00:04:12,076
-And the Lord said:
78
00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:15,643
"Look on my Works,
ye Mighty, and Despair!"
79
00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,143
Oh, hey, Suzette!
80
00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:19,843
-Father... Who crucified you?
81
00:04:19,977 --> 00:04:21,410
-Was it the big-butt nuns?
82
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:24,743
-Oh! No, no, no, no no!
They were your guests.
83
00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:27,610
-Mine or Dwayne's? Cause I don't
usually cotton to big butts!
84
00:04:27,743 --> 00:04:30,309
-Um, I remember
taking confession
85
00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,243
and then giving communion...
86
00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:34,376
Yes, a lot of giving
and taking...
87
00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:36,810
(sinister music)
88
00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:40,443
-What are you doing here?
89
00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:42,743
-Father Manilla ran out
of wafers,
90
00:04:42,877 --> 00:04:44,910
so I gave him
some edibles I made.
91
00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:47,143
(laughter)
-You gave him what?
92
00:04:47,276 --> 00:04:49,877
(munching and gulping)
Ah...
93
00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:53,643
-I remember those wafers
tasted kind of skunky.
94
00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:56,410
-And I remember
your confessions!
95
00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,510
Dwayne schtupping Ana!
96
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,610
Suzette seizing
Rafe's sacred virginity
97
00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:04,877
like a rabid Viking
ravishing a maiden!
98
00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,076
-Hey, Father, a little
clergy/client privilege
99
00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:09,543
if you don't mind!
Now, about these nuns...
100
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,777
-Ah! travelling theatre troupe!
101
00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:15,143
You two took an interest
in their hip hop musical
102
00:05:15,276 --> 00:05:17,877
Drop it Low for Jesus.
103
00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:23,410
-Wait a sec, man! You can't make
a Jesus show without Jesus!
104
00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:25,443
Father! Come here!
105
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,443
I said come here!
106
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:31,276
-(trembling voice):
Oh, I don't know about this...
107
00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:33,877
Ooh, mama that feels good!
108
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,877
Pull it tighter.
(rope squeaking)
109
00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,610
-Excellent. That's it!
110
00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:39,109
Pretend to be dead.
111
00:05:39,243 --> 00:05:41,877
Like Jesus did before
he jumped up and yelled: "Boo!"
112
00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:45,109
(laughing)
Ah, that's in the Bible.
113
00:05:46,643 --> 00:05:49,076
Okay, so I'm gonna be
the director
114
00:05:49,209 --> 00:05:50,877
and you're gonna be
the producer!
115
00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:53,977
-No, no, no. I already told them
I was the director.
116
00:05:54,109 --> 00:05:56,710
-Then, we'll have
to switch clothes!
117
00:05:56,843 --> 00:05:58,877
They'll see me
and think it's you,
118
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,743
but it'll really be me!
119
00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:03,543
That'll fool them.
(laughter)
120
00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:05,276
(disco music)
121
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,276
Okay, ladies! Action!
122
00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:12,777
(hip-hop beat)
123
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,476
♪ Drop it low for Jesus ♪
♪ Make it clap for Jesus ♪
124
00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:23,476
♪ Bring it back for Jesus ♪
♪ Shake that ass for Jesus ♪
125
00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,777
♪ Jesus's love demands ♪
126
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:31,510
♪ You pop that ass
on a handstand ♪
127
00:06:34,943 --> 00:06:37,810
-Um... I still don't get
why we had to switch clothes?
128
00:06:37,943 --> 00:06:39,443
-We were on drugs, Suzette!
129
00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:42,810
Don't question drug logic.
That way lies madness!
130
00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:46,676
-And you filled Suzette's pants
very nicely, Dwayne.
131
00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:49,109
-Thank you!
-And after this show,
132
00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,777
you led the nuns out of here
133
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,576
like the Pied Piper led the rats
to Ireland,
134
00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:56,510
promising liquor
and other earthly delights.
135
00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:59,243
-Brew N' Chug! Let's go.
136
00:06:59,376 --> 00:07:01,977
-You want us to get you down?
-No!
137
00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:04,710
I am in my happy place!
138
00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:07,676
-Okay...
139
00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:13,610
(whooshing, thumping)
140
00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:21,810
(wheel squeaking)
141
00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:23,610
(match crackling)
142
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,443
(detonation)
143
00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:29,576
(engine roaring)
144
00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:36,843
-Did it work? Are you dead?
145
00:07:36,977 --> 00:07:38,910
-No... It's no use!
146
00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,576
I'm cursed with immortality!
147
00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,410
-Don't say that. Look at me.
148
00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:46,510
We can... Hey, look at me!
We can do this!
149
00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:48,977
Don't give up now.
-Easy for you to say!
150
00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:50,977
Your wife isn't sleeping
with the mayor.
151
00:07:51,109 --> 00:07:54,576
-Mine left me! But did I curl up
in a ball and die?
152
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:58,443
No! But you will,
Justin Jerrycurl! Now, come on!
153
00:07:58,576 --> 00:08:00,443
Let's try throwing you
off something high.
154
00:08:02,943 --> 00:08:06,143
You know, what we're doing
here feels like the culmination
155
00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:09,443
of my life's work.
My magnum opus, if you will.
156
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,743
-Oh! Glad you're enjoying
this...
157
00:08:11,877 --> 00:08:15,276
(long scream)
-Thank me later, bud!
158
00:08:16,943 --> 00:08:20,109
-Finally, things are looking up!
159
00:08:23,276 --> 00:08:25,209
(metal clanking)
160
00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:27,309
-Ana! Who did this to you?
161
00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:29,443
-You did, you stupid idiot!
162
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,276
You were like peas in a pod
last night.
163
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,643
Two demons hell-bent
on destruction...
164
00:08:33,777 --> 00:08:35,943
(grunts)
165
00:08:36,076 --> 00:08:39,276
-Ana, a round of Ale for these
whores... uh, I mean nuns!
166
00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:42,209
-I'm busy. Rafe and Gabe caught
this animal a few days ago
167
00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:44,943
and it seems to have
the ability to self-heal!
168
00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:48,676
-Oh, c'mon. Put away that silly
science stuff and come party!
169
00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,510
-Dwayne, no! This is my bar
170
00:08:50,643 --> 00:08:52,743
and the only place in town
I can do my research
171
00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:55,243
without being disturbed
by you backwater yokels.
172
00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,610
-Ana, these are guests
in our town
173
00:08:57,743 --> 00:09:00,109
and it's my mayoral edict
174
00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:02,476
that you serve them
some refreshments!
175
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,743
-Yeah, c'mon, Ana.
The mayor decrees:
176
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,643
get these nuns
fu-fu-f(beep)-up!
177
00:09:07,777 --> 00:09:09,309
-No! I'm not serving tonight.
178
00:09:09,443 --> 00:09:11,977
-You thinking what I'm thinking?
179
00:09:12,109 --> 00:09:13,977
(Ana screams.)
180
00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:16,076
(angry grunts)
181
00:09:16,209 --> 00:09:18,843
-The drinks are on the house!
182
00:09:18,977 --> 00:09:20,476
(cheering, upbeat music)
183
00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:26,309
(women giggling)
184
00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:28,710
-Why aren't there
any hot male nuns?
185
00:09:28,843 --> 00:09:30,977
-You're thinking of monks.
-Monkeys?
186
00:09:31,109 --> 00:09:34,243
-No, monks!
But if you're in bestiality,
187
00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:37,276
you should know,
I may be half-stag
188
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,810
but I'm all man where it counts.
189
00:09:39,943 --> 00:09:41,910
-Not if you were
the last half-man,
190
00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,209
half-stag on earth, Dwayne-O.
191
00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:47,943
-Oh, I'm sorry, princess.
192
00:09:48,076 --> 00:09:51,176
Hang on, I think I've found you
a knight in shining armour.
193
00:09:52,276 --> 00:09:54,576
-Jesus Christ!
194
00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,510
You're trying to get me killed?
195
00:09:56,643 --> 00:09:59,209
Besides, this pig-dog
is your type!
196
00:09:59,343 --> 00:10:02,109
(screams)
197
00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:04,010
-What are you idiots doing?
Don't set it loose!
198
00:10:04,143 --> 00:10:07,476
-It's a party! Let the Beast
have a little fun too!
199
00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,043
-Suzette, give me the key.
(Dwayne laughs.)
200
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,743
-I've never seen two people
more made for each other.
201
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,843
Soulmates in selfishness!
202
00:10:18,977 --> 00:10:21,910
-You're telling me
the fricking warthog
203
00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:23,643
has the key to these chains?
Come on, Dwayne!
204
00:10:23,777 --> 00:10:25,743
-Hey, you guys gonna
let me out or...
205
00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:27,910
(disco music)
206
00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:32,910
Whoa, he is rocking
those yoga pants. Boom!
207
00:10:40,109 --> 00:10:42,109
-So, did I hear
Father Manilla right?
208
00:10:42,243 --> 00:10:46,010
You and Rafe? How can you
do that to poor old Johnny?
209
00:10:46,143 --> 00:10:49,076
-Excuse me? I'm pretty sure
"poor old Johnny" was banging
210
00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:52,010
truck stop waitresses two at
a time back before "boomsday".
211
00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,810
-That was a mouthful.
And point taken.
212
00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:56,743
Still though, what's wrong with
us? Waking up on main street.
213
00:10:56,877 --> 00:10:59,977
-We locked your girlfriend
in a cage, man.
214
00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:02,343
-And we crucified a priest.
215
00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:08,010
(bursts of laughter)
216
00:11:10,810 --> 00:11:14,010
-Oh, God! Where am I?
217
00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:16,010
(grunt)
218
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,243
Yes! Eat me! Eat me! Please!
219
00:11:19,376 --> 00:11:23,076
(grunt)
Oh! Aw...
220
00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:29,543
(retching and sniffing)
221
00:11:29,676 --> 00:11:33,276
Aw... I can't even get eaten
by a monster?
222
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:36,810
What the hell kinda shitty
post-apocalypse is this?
223
00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:44,743
(grunt)
-Huh? Oh God, they're back.
224
00:11:44,877 --> 00:11:47,209
Quit it with the axe-throwing,
you guys!
225
00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:49,476
I've taken more shots
to the face than a porn star!
226
00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,977
-Yeah, that's great.
227
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,676
Veej, did you see a huge
pig-type thing run by?
228
00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:55,043
-Uh, did we do this to you,
Vijay?
229
00:11:55,176 --> 00:11:57,376
-You... You don't remember?
230
00:11:57,510 --> 00:12:00,710
You two were absolutely
frigging insane last night!
231
00:12:00,843 --> 00:12:03,243
-(Suzette): Who rules the world?
232
00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,043
-(Dwayne): Dwayne and Suzette!
233
00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:07,109
-Okay, guys, be careful.
234
00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:09,109
My face might be a dartboard,
235
00:12:09,243 --> 00:12:11,977
but the rest of me is flesh
and... Blood!
236
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:15,710
It was terrifying...
237
00:12:15,843 --> 00:12:19,676
but also kind of majestic
and incredible, fam!
238
00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:21,710
Are you guys,
like, together now?
239
00:12:21,843 --> 00:12:23,743
Are you gonna combine
your names?
240
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,209
Like "Dwuzette"... "Swayne"!
241
00:12:26,343 --> 00:12:28,843
-(together): Shut up, Vijay!
242
00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:31,076
(sniffing)
243
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:35,076
-Take it easy there,
pig fella!
244
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:37,010
-What are you doing?
245
00:12:37,143 --> 00:12:39,010
-I don't frigging know.
It seems friendly.
246
00:12:44,076 --> 00:12:46,843
Oh...
(happy grunts)
247
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,576
(laughing)
248
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:54,777
Jesus Christ, Suzette!
-What? We need that key!
249
00:13:01,843 --> 00:13:03,777
(threatening snarl)
250
00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,576
-A true power couple.
251
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,943
You love to see it...
Yeah.
252
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:12,643
(Suzette pants.)
-(Dwayne): Ow... Ow!
253
00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:16,410
(long scream)
254
00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:18,643
-Come on! It's gaining on us!
255
00:13:18,777 --> 00:13:22,476
-Hey! We don't all do Crossfit
every morning, Suzette!
256
00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:25,443
-Ugh... Come here!
257
00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:31,443
-I don't care for this, but
I do prefer it to the dragging.
258
00:13:34,276 --> 00:13:36,309
-Shit!
259
00:13:36,443 --> 00:13:38,143
-(together): Ah!
260
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,176
(screaming, panting)
261
00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:43,010
(Dwayne screams.)
262
00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:46,376
(long scream)
263
00:13:50,143 --> 00:13:52,710
(grunting, panting)
-Oh... no, no, no!
264
00:13:52,843 --> 00:13:55,877
-Dwayne! Lose the pants!
265
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:58,743
-No! They look so good!
266
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,109
-Dwayne!
-Oh...
267
00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:06,710
No!
268
00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:08,443
Ha, ha!
269
00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:11,810
Yoga pants!
270
00:14:11,943 --> 00:14:14,843
(Suzette grunts.)
271
00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:17,743
-They were my pants, Dwayne.
272
00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:20,276
-You never cared for them
like I did.
273
00:14:21,476 --> 00:14:23,043
Can I have mine back?
274
00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:24,977
-No.
-Argh!
275
00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:33,143
(sad moaning)
276
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,010
-Whoa, Johnny.
277
00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:37,710
No offence, but you look
like shit. What happened?
278
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,109
-Oh, it's all pointless, Danika.
279
00:14:40,243 --> 00:14:42,010
I just want to end it.
280
00:14:42,143 --> 00:14:45,076
But I'm trapped
in this gelatinous prison.
281
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:46,843
-Look, I don't think
you should kill yourself,
282
00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:49,443
but I am a supporter
of dying with dignity.
283
00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:51,443
If you really want it done,
quick and painless,
284
00:14:51,576 --> 00:14:54,143
you could probably jump
into the sinkhole at the Oasis.
285
00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,643
-You're a genius!
286
00:14:57,777 --> 00:14:59,309
-But I don't think
you should do it.
287
00:14:59,443 --> 00:15:02,910
-Thanks Danika. Where are you
going with all that weed stuff?
288
00:15:03,043 --> 00:15:04,943
-I'm vibing with the nuns,
actually.
289
00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:06,543
They wanted some ganja!
290
00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:08,576
-Ah, sounds fun.
Anyways, see you.
291
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,877
-Don't do it, but if you do,
292
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,910
have a good suicide!
-Ha! Ha! Okay!
293
00:15:18,243 --> 00:15:21,510
-Good job
saving us back there.
294
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,810
You know,
I've always admired your muscly,
295
00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:26,109
prehensile monkey tail.
296
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,010
-All right, calm down.
Just because
297
00:15:28,143 --> 00:15:30,309
we're chained together doesn't
mean this needs to get weird.
298
00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:32,576
-We're well past weird.
If we stay chained together,
299
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,576
nature's just gonna take
its course again.
300
00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,943
-Well, we can just cross
that bridge when we get to it.
301
00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:39,643
-Wait, are you saying
you wouldn't mind if we...
302
00:15:39,777 --> 00:15:41,877
-I'm not giving up on a life
without you just yet.
303
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,376
Let's think.
304
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,143
If the key wasn't
in the Beast,
305
00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:47,143
maybe we got it back
somehow last night?
306
00:15:47,276 --> 00:15:49,276
-Who haven't we talked to yet?
307
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:51,543
Maybe we're still missing
part of the night.
308
00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:54,309
-Danika!
-Oh! Yeah. Oops. My daughter.
309
00:15:58,443 --> 00:15:59,910
Danika!
310
00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:02,410
God, what is that funk?
311
00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:05,076
-Smells like hot ass in here!
312
00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:06,576
-Damn right it does.
313
00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,743
-Wow. OK. Well, I'm gonna look
the other way on this one
314
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:13,109
only because as you can see,
Suzette and I are in a crisis.
315
00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:15,643
-Seems like it.
Where's your pants?
316
00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:19,943
-I lost them in a very serious,
unhumorous accident.
317
00:16:20,076 --> 00:16:22,576
-Yeah, I'll bet!
-Okay, Miss Cool guy!
318
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:24,410
We just wanna know if you know
anything about
319
00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:25,910
what happened last night.
320
00:16:26,043 --> 00:16:27,777
Like where the key is
for these shackles?
321
00:16:27,910 --> 00:16:30,143
-No. But thanks for letting
these girls into town.
322
00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,777
Did you take all of the drugs
they bribed you with?
323
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,810
-Wait, what?
(sombre music)
324
00:16:35,943 --> 00:16:37,343
Sorry sisters, but we don't
325
00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:39,810
generally allow strangers
in St. Zephyr.
326
00:16:39,943 --> 00:16:42,343
(laughter)
-Oh!
327
00:16:43,977 --> 00:16:45,743
-But come on in!
328
00:16:45,877 --> 00:16:48,710
(Sisters laugh. Dwayne sniffs.)
329
00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:50,209
Ha! Ha! Ha!
330
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,543
I do not remember that.
-Wait! I do!
331
00:16:52,676 --> 00:16:54,643
You busted it out
after we met at the church.
332
00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:58,276
-So we didn't get messed up
on edibles. It was "snortables".
333
00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:00,777
-Keeping it classy. Hey,
did you know Johnny is about
334
00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:03,443
to throw himself into the Oasis
sinkhole because of you two?
335
00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:06,510
-Oh my God, I didn't even
think of Johnny once today.
336
00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:09,977
I'm the worst! Hey, do you think
if we wrap this up soon,
337
00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:12,209
I'll have time
to take a bath and dye my roots?
338
00:17:12,343 --> 00:17:16,143
Oh wait, sorry, Johnny,
killing himself. Right. Focus!
339
00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:20,610
-At least put some tarps down
or something, Danika!
340
00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:23,076
(gargling)
341
00:17:26,076 --> 00:17:28,376
(sad moaning)
342
00:17:29,376 --> 00:17:30,910
-Uh?
343
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:34,109
(dramatic music)
344
00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,910
(scared moaning)
345
00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,843
Ah... Well, if the fall
doesn't kill me,
346
00:17:44,977 --> 00:17:47,243
chances are
I'll starve to death down there.
347
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,943
Thank God for small favours.
348
00:17:51,076 --> 00:17:52,710
-(Suzette): Johnny!
349
00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:54,276
-Don't bother, Suzette.
350
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,109
I'm not the man for you anymore.
You and Dwayne
351
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,877
are obviously
meant for each other.
352
00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,476
-Maybe, but it's not
what I want!
353
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,410
-Of course, it is!
354
00:18:02,543 --> 00:18:04,010
You're both alphas.
355
00:18:04,143 --> 00:18:07,710
Like I used to be before
I became this... monstrosity.
356
00:18:09,676 --> 00:18:11,476
(horrified gasp)
357
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:16,610
(sobbing)
-Johnny!
358
00:18:16,743 --> 00:18:18,610
You can't jump! Please!
359
00:18:22,109 --> 00:18:23,676
I love you!
360
00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:26,910
Every gross fold and weird bump.
361
00:18:28,143 --> 00:18:31,143
I know things aren't the same
as before the apocalypse,
362
00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,710
and maybe Dwayne does make
more sense for me now...
363
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:39,343
I guess some kind of bond
made us sleep together.
364
00:18:39,476 --> 00:18:42,109
I don't know.
Sorry, honeybutt!
365
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,243
(diving board clanking)
366
00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:53,410
Johnny, no!
367
00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,143
-Sleep together?
368
00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:57,476
No! You two assholes
didn't sleep together!
369
00:18:57,610 --> 00:18:58,910
(Johnny): Oh!
370
00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:00,910
-So we didn't
do the horizontal mambo?
371
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,576
-Also you can talk?
-Naturally!
372
00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,476
Not that anyone of you
ever bothered to ask.
373
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:07,043
I simply wanted to join
your town and was shackled!
374
00:19:07,176 --> 00:19:09,109
It's Sidney, by the way.
375
00:19:09,243 --> 00:19:11,610
-Never mind that! How do you
know we didn't sleep together?
376
00:19:11,743 --> 00:19:14,043
-I was there when you passed out
in the middle of town.
377
00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:16,843
All you did was bicker over
who got more of the mattress.
378
00:19:16,977 --> 00:19:19,309
-Huh! I bet she got more, too.
379
00:19:19,443 --> 00:19:21,309
-Yeah, you're like
an old married couple.
380
00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,743
Including the celibacy.
381
00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:25,810
-My Johnny... He's gone.
382
00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:28,376
At least, he died knowing
I stayed loyal to him...
383
00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:30,043
this one time.
384
00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:33,643
-This is death?
385
00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:37,043
Just me alone by myself
for all eternity?
386
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,010
God, I've gone
from a living nightmare
387
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:41,243
to an existential one!
388
00:19:42,343 --> 00:19:45,010
Oh, f(beep) this! I'm out!
389
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:47,710
(sobbing)
390
00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:50,643
(grunting, panting)
391
00:19:50,777 --> 00:19:53,109
Whoa, it's true!
392
00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,243
I really can't die!
393
00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:03,843
-Free, at last! Free!
394
00:20:03,977 --> 00:20:05,710
-The key must've gotten stuck
to you when you were
395
00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:08,676
stuck inside of me!
-You were inside this thing?
396
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:10,843
You dirty, two-timing hypocrite!
397
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,843
-No, he swallowed me!
398
00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:14,910
-I don't care if he swallowed!
399
00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,710
Oh, you mean literally?
400
00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,943
(retching)
401
00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:21,343
-The yoga pants!
402
00:20:21,476 --> 00:20:24,076
Come on...
(grunting in effort)
403
00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:26,076
-So you heard, right?
404
00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:28,510
I didn't cheat on you after
all... with Dwayne.
405
00:20:28,643 --> 00:20:31,243
-Then with who?
-No one! Shut up. Stop talking.
406
00:20:31,376 --> 00:20:34,510
-Wait, did you talk me out
of jumping because you love me
407
00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:37,543
or because I had that key?
-Can't it be both?
408
00:20:37,676 --> 00:20:40,576
-I guess I have to love you
for who you are too.
409
00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:45,810
-Ugh, doesn't she know where
that thing's been?
410
00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:52,376
-Help me! Help! The Brides
of Christ are taking over!
411
00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:55,209
-Dad, the hot nuns
are refusing to leave!
412
00:20:55,343 --> 00:20:57,309
They say St. Zephyr
is their town now.
413
00:20:57,443 --> 00:21:00,676
-Dammit, you just can't trust
clergy people these days!
414
00:21:02,743 --> 00:21:05,143
Christ, I can't even right now.
415
00:21:05,276 --> 00:21:07,276
I do not wanna fight
a bunch of nuns!
416
00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:08,910
-My brother!
417
00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:10,710
Oh, thank God
you're still alive!
418
00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:14,243
I found the perfect way
to kill you! Drowning.
419
00:21:14,376 --> 00:21:17,209
If we leave now and march East,
we'll hit the ocean eventually.
420
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:21,209
-Sorry, Manson, I want to live.
421
00:21:21,343 --> 00:21:22,877
-Aw man, come on!
422
00:21:23,010 --> 00:21:25,743
I hate quitters almost
as much as I hate No-Mos.
423
00:21:25,877 --> 00:21:28,010
That's my new word
for non-mutants.
424
00:21:28,143 --> 00:21:30,743
Anyway, you suck,
Jetsie Jizzface!
425
00:21:30,877 --> 00:21:32,410
(horny chuckles)
426
00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:36,043
(silly laugh)
Who are they?
427
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:39,209
(happy laughter)
428
00:21:39,343 --> 00:21:41,343
-Musicians, man. Pff!
429
00:21:41,476 --> 00:21:44,977
Those bastards get
all the chicks. Am I right?
430
00:21:45,977 --> 00:21:50,743
Closed Captioning: Épilogue
Technical Services Inc.