1 00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:06,309 and may contain mature subject matter. 2 00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:10,643 Viewer discretion is advised. 3 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,043 and may contain mature(groaning)atter. 4 00:00:15,109 --> 00:00:17,410 -Suzette? -Dwayne? 5 00:00:17,543 --> 00:00:19,076 Oh! 6 00:00:19,209 --> 00:00:21,010 -Oh, non. Did we...? 7 00:00:21,143 --> 00:00:24,109 -Ugh, of course, we did. Dammit! 8 00:00:24,243 --> 00:00:26,276 -Hopefully, no one saw us together. 9 00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:29,376 -Oh, shit-sticks. 10 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:33,243 (groaning in effort) 11 00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:35,443 -Huh? Why are you wearing my clothes? 12 00:00:35,576 --> 00:00:36,977 -Huh? 13 00:00:37,109 --> 00:00:39,543 I don't know, but my ass looks exquisite in these yoga pants. 14 00:00:39,676 --> 00:00:41,676 Um, yeah! -Argh... 15 00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:45,043 (apocalyptic music) 16 00:00:48,176 --> 00:00:51,209 (theme music) 17 00:01:09,777 --> 00:01:11,443 (growling) 18 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,343 from last night?ything 19 00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:19,376 -I need a minute. There's a lot to unpack here. 20 00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:22,176 For example, why are we in the street? 21 00:01:24,109 --> 00:01:26,309 And why is there a giant pig? -Wait... 22 00:01:26,443 --> 00:01:28,543 If Rafe and Gabe aren't back yet 23 00:01:28,676 --> 00:01:30,276 and that thing's running loose, 24 00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:33,710 maybe everyone else...? -...got turned into giant pigs! 25 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:36,043 -No, you idiot! They could be dead! 26 00:01:36,176 --> 00:01:38,076 Jesus Christ! Hey! 27 00:01:38,209 --> 00:01:40,243 Didn't we run onto each other at church last night? 28 00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,576 -Yes! I was coming out of the confessional. That was awkward. 29 00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:46,309 -Yeah, that was awkward. Come on! 30 00:01:46,443 --> 00:01:48,443 (chain rattling) 31 00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,610 (suspenseful music) 32 00:01:57,176 --> 00:01:58,910 (sad groan) 33 00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:02,343 -Ooh! Ooh! Ah... Ooh! 34 00:02:02,476 --> 00:02:06,010 (moaning) 35 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:12,376 (whistling) 36 00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:15,143 (long drag, exhalation) 37 00:02:15,276 --> 00:02:17,643 -Argh! 38 00:02:17,777 --> 00:02:20,076 Alright, Lawless, 39 00:02:20,209 --> 00:02:24,143 I'm here to finish giving your ass the pounding it deserves! 40 00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:26,543 -Bruh, I burned one a minute ago, 41 00:02:26,676 --> 00:02:28,943 so I'm gonna need some context... 42 00:02:29,076 --> 00:02:32,610 -Oh... -Oh, wait, I remember you! 43 00:02:32,743 --> 00:02:34,777 Joey Jimjohn from St. Zephyr. 44 00:02:34,910 --> 00:02:38,977 Ah, your wife's the hottie with the tail, right? 45 00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:42,276 (sigh) 46 00:02:42,410 --> 00:02:46,410 -Fight me! I thought you were a bloodthirsty wasteland psycho! 47 00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:50,176 -I am! But right now, I just wanna kick back, 48 00:02:50,309 --> 00:02:52,476 mellow out, and eat this weird chicken thing. 49 00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:54,176 (sniggering) 50 00:02:54,309 --> 00:02:56,676 So, I'll take a rain check on fighting you, Jeffy Jingletoes. 51 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,643 -Please, I've got nothing left. 52 00:02:59,777 --> 00:03:01,576 I used to be something. 53 00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:04,176 Men feared me, women lusted after me... 54 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:07,777 Then, I mutated into a big jiggly joke! 55 00:03:07,910 --> 00:03:10,710 Please, I just want to end it. 56 00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:13,309 -That's why you're here? 57 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,977 Alright, I'll help you die, my mutant homie. 58 00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:18,143 But not for free. 59 00:03:18,276 --> 00:03:21,610 -Oh. Of course. Won't need these where I'm going. 60 00:03:24,109 --> 00:03:25,643 (gun cocking) 61 00:03:25,777 --> 00:03:27,977 (gunshot, thump) 62 00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:32,243 (groaning) 63 00:03:32,376 --> 00:03:33,943 Oh... 64 00:03:34,977 --> 00:03:37,410 What does this mean? I can't die? 65 00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:41,276 I can't even end my own miserable existence? What a rip! 66 00:03:42,643 --> 00:03:44,176 -Um... 67 00:03:44,309 --> 00:03:46,810 In all the time I've been killing people for money, 68 00:03:46,943 --> 00:03:48,977 I've never had to give a refund. 69 00:03:49,109 --> 00:03:51,176 So, I'm taking you on as a passion project. 70 00:03:51,309 --> 00:03:55,610 I swear I shall murder you, Jimbo Jellyroll. 71 00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:57,209 -Oh! 72 00:03:57,343 --> 00:03:59,943 (bell ringing) 73 00:04:00,143 --> 00:04:01,676 -(together): Oh! 74 00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:03,343 (sinister organ music) 75 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:06,143 -Where'd all these big-butt nuns come from? 76 00:04:06,276 --> 00:04:09,543 -The good Lord didn't send them, I can tell you that much. 77 00:04:09,676 --> 00:04:12,076 -And the Lord said: 78 00:04:12,209 --> 00:04:15,643 "Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and Despair!" 79 00:04:15,777 --> 00:04:17,143 Oh, hey, Suzette! 80 00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:19,843 -Father... Who crucified you? 81 00:04:19,977 --> 00:04:21,410 -Was it the big-butt nuns? 82 00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:24,743 -Oh! No, no, no, no no! They were your guests. 83 00:04:24,877 --> 00:04:27,610 -Mine or Dwayne's? Cause I don't usually cotton to big butts! 84 00:04:27,743 --> 00:04:30,309 -Um, I remember taking confession 85 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:32,243 and then giving communion... 86 00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:34,376 Yes, a lot of giving and taking... 87 00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:36,810 (sinister music) 88 00:04:39,076 --> 00:04:40,443 -What are you doing here? 89 00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:42,743 -Father Manilla ran out of wafers, 90 00:04:42,877 --> 00:04:44,910 so I gave him some edibles I made. 91 00:04:45,043 --> 00:04:47,143 (laughter) -You gave him what? 92 00:04:47,276 --> 00:04:49,877 (munching and gulping) Ah... 93 00:04:50,010 --> 00:04:53,643 -I remember those wafers tasted kind of skunky. 94 00:04:53,777 --> 00:04:56,410 -And I remember your confessions! 95 00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:58,510 Dwayne schtupping Ana! 96 00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,610 Suzette seizing Rafe's sacred virginity 97 00:05:01,743 --> 00:05:04,877 like a rabid Viking ravishing a maiden! 98 00:05:05,010 --> 00:05:07,076 -Hey, Father, a little clergy/client privilege 99 00:05:07,209 --> 00:05:09,543 if you don't mind! Now, about these nuns... 100 00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,777 -Ah! travelling theatre troupe! 101 00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:15,143 You two took an interest in their hip hop musical 102 00:05:15,276 --> 00:05:17,877 Drop it Low for Jesus. 103 00:05:19,410 --> 00:05:23,410 -Wait a sec, man! You can't make a Jesus show without Jesus! 104 00:05:23,543 --> 00:05:25,443 Father! Come here! 105 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,443 I said come here! 106 00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:31,276 -(trembling voice): Oh, I don't know about this... 107 00:05:31,410 --> 00:05:33,877 Ooh, mama that feels good! 108 00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:35,877 Pull it tighter. (rope squeaking) 109 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:37,610 -Excellent. That's it! 110 00:05:37,743 --> 00:05:39,109 Pretend to be dead. 111 00:05:39,243 --> 00:05:41,877 Like Jesus did before he jumped up and yelled: "Boo!" 112 00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:45,109 (laughing) Ah, that's in the Bible. 113 00:05:46,643 --> 00:05:49,076 Okay, so I'm gonna be the director 114 00:05:49,209 --> 00:05:50,877 and you're gonna be the producer! 115 00:05:51,010 --> 00:05:53,977 -No, no, no. I already told them I was the director. 116 00:05:54,109 --> 00:05:56,710 -Then, we'll have to switch clothes! 117 00:05:56,843 --> 00:05:58,877 They'll see me and think it's you, 118 00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,743 but it'll really be me! 119 00:06:00,877 --> 00:06:03,543 That'll fool them. (laughter) 120 00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:05,276 (disco music) 121 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:10,276 Okay, ladies! Action! 122 00:06:10,410 --> 00:06:12,777 (hip-hop beat) 123 00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:20,476 ♪ Drop it low for Jesus ♪ ♪ Make it clap for Jesus ♪ 124 00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:23,476 ♪ Bring it back for Jesus ♪ ♪ Shake that ass for Jesus ♪ 125 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,777 ♪ Jesus's love demands ♪ 126 00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:31,510 ♪ You pop that ass on a handstand ♪ 127 00:06:34,943 --> 00:06:37,810 -Um... I still don't get why we had to switch clothes? 128 00:06:37,943 --> 00:06:39,443 -We were on drugs, Suzette! 129 00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:42,810 Don't question drug logic. That way lies madness! 130 00:06:42,943 --> 00:06:46,676 -And you filled Suzette's pants very nicely, Dwayne. 131 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:49,109 -Thank you! -And after this show, 132 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,777 you led the nuns out of here 133 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,576 like the Pied Piper led the rats to Ireland, 134 00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:56,510 promising liquor and other earthly delights. 135 00:06:56,643 --> 00:06:59,243 -Brew N' Chug! Let's go. 136 00:06:59,376 --> 00:07:01,977 -You want us to get you down? -No! 137 00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:04,710 I am in my happy place! 138 00:07:04,843 --> 00:07:07,676 -Okay... 139 00:07:10,209 --> 00:07:13,610 (whooshing, thumping) 140 00:07:20,076 --> 00:07:21,810 (wheel squeaking) 141 00:07:21,943 --> 00:07:23,610 (match crackling) 142 00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,443 (detonation) 143 00:07:27,443 --> 00:07:29,576 (engine roaring) 144 00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:36,843 -Did it work? Are you dead? 145 00:07:36,977 --> 00:07:38,910 -No... It's no use! 146 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,576 I'm cursed with immortality! 147 00:07:41,710 --> 00:07:43,410 -Don't say that. Look at me. 148 00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:46,510 We can... Hey, look at me! We can do this! 149 00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:48,977 Don't give up now. -Easy for you to say! 150 00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:50,977 Your wife isn't sleeping with the mayor. 151 00:07:51,109 --> 00:07:54,576 -Mine left me! But did I curl up in a ball and die? 152 00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:58,443 No! But you will, Justin Jerrycurl! Now, come on! 153 00:07:58,576 --> 00:08:00,443 Let's try throwing you off something high. 154 00:08:02,943 --> 00:08:06,143 You know, what we're doing here feels like the culmination 155 00:08:06,276 --> 00:08:09,443 of my life's work. My magnum opus, if you will. 156 00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,743 -Oh! Glad you're enjoying this... 157 00:08:11,877 --> 00:08:15,276 (long scream) -Thank me later, bud! 158 00:08:16,943 --> 00:08:20,109 -Finally, things are looking up! 159 00:08:23,276 --> 00:08:25,209 (metal clanking) 160 00:08:25,343 --> 00:08:27,309 -Ana! Who did this to you? 161 00:08:27,443 --> 00:08:29,443 -You did, you stupid idiot! 162 00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,276 You were like peas in a pod last night. 163 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:33,643 Two demons hell-bent on destruction... 164 00:08:33,777 --> 00:08:35,943 (grunts) 165 00:08:36,076 --> 00:08:39,276 -Ana, a round of Ale for these whores... uh, I mean nuns! 166 00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:42,209 -I'm busy. Rafe and Gabe caught this animal a few days ago 167 00:08:42,343 --> 00:08:44,943 and it seems to have the ability to self-heal! 168 00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:48,676 -Oh, c'mon. Put away that silly science stuff and come party! 169 00:08:48,810 --> 00:08:50,510 -Dwayne, no! This is my bar 170 00:08:50,643 --> 00:08:52,743 and the only place in town I can do my research 171 00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:55,243 without being disturbed by you backwater yokels. 172 00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,610 -Ana, these are guests in our town 173 00:08:57,743 --> 00:09:00,109 and it's my mayoral edict 174 00:09:00,243 --> 00:09:02,476 that you serve them some refreshments! 175 00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,743 -Yeah, c'mon, Ana. The mayor decrees: 176 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,643 get these nuns fu-fu-f(beep)-up! 177 00:09:07,777 --> 00:09:09,309 -No! I'm not serving tonight. 178 00:09:09,443 --> 00:09:11,977 -You thinking what I'm thinking? 179 00:09:12,109 --> 00:09:13,977 (Ana screams.) 180 00:09:14,109 --> 00:09:16,076 (angry grunts) 181 00:09:16,209 --> 00:09:18,843 -The drinks are on the house! 182 00:09:18,977 --> 00:09:20,476 (cheering, upbeat music) 183 00:09:23,309 --> 00:09:26,309 (women giggling) 184 00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:28,710 -Why aren't there any hot male nuns? 185 00:09:28,843 --> 00:09:30,977 -You're thinking of monks. -Monkeys? 186 00:09:31,109 --> 00:09:34,243 -No, monks! But if you're in bestiality, 187 00:09:34,376 --> 00:09:37,276 you should know, I may be half-stag 188 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,810 but I'm all man where it counts. 189 00:09:39,943 --> 00:09:41,910 -Not if you were the last half-man, 190 00:09:42,043 --> 00:09:44,209 half-stag on earth, Dwayne-O. 191 00:09:44,343 --> 00:09:47,943 -Oh, I'm sorry, princess. 192 00:09:48,076 --> 00:09:51,176 Hang on, I think I've found you a knight in shining armour. 193 00:09:52,276 --> 00:09:54,576 -Jesus Christ! 194 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:56,510 You're trying to get me killed? 195 00:09:56,643 --> 00:09:59,209 Besides, this pig-dog is your type! 196 00:09:59,343 --> 00:10:02,109 (screams) 197 00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:04,010 -What are you idiots doing? Don't set it loose! 198 00:10:04,143 --> 00:10:07,476 -It's a party! Let the Beast have a little fun too! 199 00:10:07,610 --> 00:10:10,043 -Suzette, give me the key. (Dwayne laughs.) 200 00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,743 -I've never seen two people more made for each other. 201 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,843 Soulmates in selfishness! 202 00:10:18,977 --> 00:10:21,910 -You're telling me the fricking warthog 203 00:10:22,043 --> 00:10:23,643 has the key to these chains? Come on, Dwayne! 204 00:10:23,777 --> 00:10:25,743 -Hey, you guys gonna let me out or... 205 00:10:25,877 --> 00:10:27,910 (disco music) 206 00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:32,910 Whoa, he is rocking those yoga pants. Boom! 207 00:10:40,109 --> 00:10:42,109 -So, did I hear Father Manilla right? 208 00:10:42,243 --> 00:10:46,010 You and Rafe? How can you do that to poor old Johnny? 209 00:10:46,143 --> 00:10:49,076 -Excuse me? I'm pretty sure "poor old Johnny" was banging 210 00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:52,010 truck stop waitresses two at a time back before "boomsday". 211 00:10:52,143 --> 00:10:53,810 -That was a mouthful. And point taken. 212 00:10:53,943 --> 00:10:56,743 Still though, what's wrong with us? Waking up on main street. 213 00:10:56,877 --> 00:10:59,977 -We locked your girlfriend in a cage, man. 214 00:11:00,176 --> 00:11:02,343 -And we crucified a priest. 215 00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:08,010 (bursts of laughter) 216 00:11:10,810 --> 00:11:14,010 -Oh, God! Where am I? 217 00:11:14,143 --> 00:11:16,010 (grunt) 218 00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:19,243 Yes! Eat me! Eat me! Please! 219 00:11:19,376 --> 00:11:23,076 (grunt) Oh! Aw... 220 00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:29,543 (retching and sniffing) 221 00:11:29,676 --> 00:11:33,276 Aw... I can't even get eaten by a monster? 222 00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:36,810 What the hell kinda shitty post-apocalypse is this? 223 00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:44,743 (grunt) -Huh? Oh God, they're back. 224 00:11:44,877 --> 00:11:47,209 Quit it with the axe-throwing, you guys! 225 00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:49,476 I've taken more shots to the face than a porn star! 226 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,977 -Yeah, that's great. 227 00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,676 Veej, did you see a huge pig-type thing run by? 228 00:11:52,810 --> 00:11:55,043 -Uh, did we do this to you, Vijay? 229 00:11:55,176 --> 00:11:57,376 -You... You don't remember? 230 00:11:57,510 --> 00:12:00,710 You two were absolutely frigging insane last night! 231 00:12:00,843 --> 00:12:03,243 -(Suzette): Who rules the world? 232 00:12:03,376 --> 00:12:05,043 -(Dwayne): Dwayne and Suzette! 233 00:12:05,176 --> 00:12:07,109 -Okay, guys, be careful. 234 00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:09,109 My face might be a dartboard, 235 00:12:09,243 --> 00:12:11,977 but the rest of me is flesh and... Blood! 236 00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:15,710 It was terrifying... 237 00:12:15,843 --> 00:12:19,676 but also kind of majestic and incredible, fam! 238 00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:21,710 Are you guys, like, together now? 239 00:12:21,843 --> 00:12:23,743 Are you gonna combine your names? 240 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,209 Like "Dwuzette"... "Swayne"! 241 00:12:26,343 --> 00:12:28,843 -(together): Shut up, Vijay! 242 00:12:28,977 --> 00:12:31,076 (sniffing) 243 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:35,076 -Take it easy there, pig fella! 244 00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:37,010 -What are you doing? 245 00:12:37,143 --> 00:12:39,010 -I don't frigging know. It seems friendly. 246 00:12:44,076 --> 00:12:46,843 Oh... (happy grunts) 247 00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,576 (laughing) 248 00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:54,777 Jesus Christ, Suzette! -What? We need that key! 249 00:13:01,843 --> 00:13:03,777 (threatening snarl) 250 00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:06,576 -A true power couple. 251 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,943 You love to see it... Yeah. 252 00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:12,643 (Suzette pants.) -(Dwayne): Ow... Ow! 253 00:13:14,943 --> 00:13:16,410 (long scream) 254 00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:18,643 -Come on! It's gaining on us! 255 00:13:18,777 --> 00:13:22,476 -Hey! We don't all do Crossfit every morning, Suzette! 256 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:25,443 -Ugh... Come here! 257 00:13:27,176 --> 00:13:31,443 -I don't care for this, but I do prefer it to the dragging. 258 00:13:34,276 --> 00:13:36,309 -Shit! 259 00:13:36,443 --> 00:13:38,143 -(together): Ah! 260 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,176 (screaming, panting) 261 00:13:41,309 --> 00:13:43,010 (Dwayne screams.) 262 00:13:43,143 --> 00:13:46,376 (long scream) 263 00:13:50,143 --> 00:13:52,710 (grunting, panting) -Oh... no, no, no! 264 00:13:52,843 --> 00:13:55,877 -Dwayne! Lose the pants! 265 00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:58,743 -No! They look so good! 266 00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:05,109 -Dwayne! -Oh... 267 00:14:05,243 --> 00:14:06,710 No! 268 00:14:06,843 --> 00:14:08,443 Ha, ha! 269 00:14:08,576 --> 00:14:11,810 Yoga pants! 270 00:14:11,943 --> 00:14:14,843 (Suzette grunts.) 271 00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:17,743 -They were my pants, Dwayne. 272 00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:20,276 -You never cared for them like I did. 273 00:14:21,476 --> 00:14:23,043 Can I have mine back? 274 00:14:23,176 --> 00:14:24,977 -No. -Argh! 275 00:14:31,010 --> 00:14:33,143 (sad moaning) 276 00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,010 -Whoa, Johnny. 277 00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:37,710 No offence, but you look like shit. What happened? 278 00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:40,109 -Oh, it's all pointless, Danika. 279 00:14:40,243 --> 00:14:42,010 I just want to end it. 280 00:14:42,143 --> 00:14:45,076 But I'm trapped in this gelatinous prison. 281 00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:46,843 -Look, I don't think you should kill yourself, 282 00:14:46,977 --> 00:14:49,443 but I am a supporter of dying with dignity. 283 00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:51,443 If you really want it done, quick and painless, 284 00:14:51,576 --> 00:14:54,143 you could probably jump into the sinkhole at the Oasis. 285 00:14:55,410 --> 00:14:57,643 -You're a genius! 286 00:14:57,777 --> 00:14:59,309 -But I don't think you should do it. 287 00:14:59,443 --> 00:15:02,910 -Thanks Danika. Where are you going with all that weed stuff? 288 00:15:03,043 --> 00:15:04,943 -I'm vibing with the nuns, actually. 289 00:15:05,076 --> 00:15:06,543 They wanted some ganja! 290 00:15:06,676 --> 00:15:08,576 -Ah, sounds fun. Anyways, see you. 291 00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:10,877 -Don't do it, but if you do, 292 00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,910 have a good suicide! -Ha! Ha! Okay! 293 00:15:18,243 --> 00:15:21,510 -Good job saving us back there. 294 00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:23,810 You know, I've always admired your muscly, 295 00:15:23,943 --> 00:15:26,109 prehensile monkey tail. 296 00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,010 -All right, calm down. Just because 297 00:15:28,143 --> 00:15:30,309 we're chained together doesn't mean this needs to get weird. 298 00:15:30,443 --> 00:15:32,576 -We're well past weird. If we stay chained together, 299 00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:34,576 nature's just gonna take its course again. 300 00:15:34,710 --> 00:15:36,943 -Well, we can just cross that bridge when we get to it. 301 00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:39,643 -Wait, are you saying you wouldn't mind if we... 302 00:15:39,777 --> 00:15:41,877 -I'm not giving up on a life without you just yet. 303 00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,376 Let's think. 304 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,143 If the key wasn't in the Beast, 305 00:15:45,276 --> 00:15:47,143 maybe we got it back somehow last night? 306 00:15:47,276 --> 00:15:49,276 -Who haven't we talked to yet? 307 00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:51,543 Maybe we're still missing part of the night. 308 00:15:51,676 --> 00:15:54,309 -Danika! -Oh! Yeah. Oops. My daughter. 309 00:15:58,443 --> 00:15:59,910 Danika! 310 00:16:00,109 --> 00:16:02,410 God, what is that funk? 311 00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:05,076 -Smells like hot ass in here! 312 00:16:05,209 --> 00:16:06,576 -Damn right it does. 313 00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,743 -Wow. OK. Well, I'm gonna look the other way on this one 314 00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:13,109 only because as you can see, Suzette and I are in a crisis. 315 00:16:13,243 --> 00:16:15,643 -Seems like it. Where's your pants? 316 00:16:15,777 --> 00:16:19,943 -I lost them in a very serious, unhumorous accident. 317 00:16:20,076 --> 00:16:22,576 -Yeah, I'll bet! -Okay, Miss Cool guy! 318 00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:24,410 We just wanna know if you know anything about 319 00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:25,910 what happened last night. 320 00:16:26,043 --> 00:16:27,777 Like where the key is for these shackles? 321 00:16:27,910 --> 00:16:30,143 -No. But thanks for letting these girls into town. 322 00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,777 Did you take all of the drugs they bribed you with? 323 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,810 -Wait, what? (sombre music) 324 00:16:35,943 --> 00:16:37,343 Sorry sisters, but we don't 325 00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:39,810 generally allow strangers in St. Zephyr. 326 00:16:39,943 --> 00:16:42,343 (laughter) -Oh! 327 00:16:43,977 --> 00:16:45,743 -But come on in! 328 00:16:45,877 --> 00:16:48,710 (Sisters laugh. Dwayne sniffs.) 329 00:16:48,843 --> 00:16:50,209 Ha! Ha! Ha! 330 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,543 I do not remember that. -Wait! I do! 331 00:16:52,676 --> 00:16:54,643 You busted it out after we met at the church. 332 00:16:54,777 --> 00:16:58,276 -So we didn't get messed up on edibles. It was "snortables". 333 00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:00,777 -Keeping it classy. Hey, did you know Johnny is about 334 00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:03,443 to throw himself into the Oasis sinkhole because of you two? 335 00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:06,510 -Oh my God, I didn't even think of Johnny once today. 336 00:17:06,643 --> 00:17:09,977 I'm the worst! Hey, do you think if we wrap this up soon, 337 00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:12,209 I'll have time to take a bath and dye my roots? 338 00:17:12,343 --> 00:17:16,143 Oh wait, sorry, Johnny, killing himself. Right. Focus! 339 00:17:17,143 --> 00:17:20,610 -At least put some tarps down or something, Danika! 340 00:17:20,743 --> 00:17:23,076 (gargling) 341 00:17:26,076 --> 00:17:28,376 (sad moaning) 342 00:17:29,376 --> 00:17:30,910 -Uh? 343 00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:34,109 (dramatic music) 344 00:17:36,610 --> 00:17:38,910 (scared moaning) 345 00:17:41,410 --> 00:17:44,843 Ah... Well, if the fall doesn't kill me, 346 00:17:44,977 --> 00:17:47,243 chances are I'll starve to death down there. 347 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:50,943 Thank God for small favours. 348 00:17:51,076 --> 00:17:52,710 -(Suzette): Johnny! 349 00:17:52,843 --> 00:17:54,276 -Don't bother, Suzette. 350 00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:57,109 I'm not the man for you anymore. You and Dwayne 351 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,877 are obviously meant for each other. 352 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,476 -Maybe, but it's not what I want! 353 00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,410 -Of course, it is! 354 00:18:02,543 --> 00:18:04,010 You're both alphas. 355 00:18:04,143 --> 00:18:07,710 Like I used to be before I became this... monstrosity. 356 00:18:09,676 --> 00:18:11,476 (horrified gasp) 357 00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:16,610 (sobbing) -Johnny! 358 00:18:16,743 --> 00:18:18,610 You can't jump! Please! 359 00:18:22,109 --> 00:18:23,676 I love you! 360 00:18:23,810 --> 00:18:26,910 Every gross fold and weird bump. 361 00:18:28,143 --> 00:18:31,143 I know things aren't the same as before the apocalypse, 362 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:34,710 and maybe Dwayne does make more sense for me now... 363 00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:39,343 I guess some kind of bond made us sleep together. 364 00:18:39,476 --> 00:18:42,109 I don't know. Sorry, honeybutt! 365 00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,243 (diving board clanking) 366 00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:53,410 Johnny, no! 367 00:18:53,543 --> 00:18:55,143 -Sleep together? 368 00:18:55,276 --> 00:18:57,476 No! You two assholes didn't sleep together! 369 00:18:57,610 --> 00:18:58,910 (Johnny): Oh! 370 00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:00,910 -So we didn't do the horizontal mambo? 371 00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,576 -Also you can talk? -Naturally! 372 00:19:02,710 --> 00:19:04,476 Not that anyone of you ever bothered to ask. 373 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:07,043 I simply wanted to join your town and was shackled! 374 00:19:07,176 --> 00:19:09,109 It's Sidney, by the way. 375 00:19:09,243 --> 00:19:11,610 -Never mind that! How do you know we didn't sleep together? 376 00:19:11,743 --> 00:19:14,043 -I was there when you passed out in the middle of town. 377 00:19:14,176 --> 00:19:16,843 All you did was bicker over who got more of the mattress. 378 00:19:16,977 --> 00:19:19,309 -Huh! I bet she got more, too. 379 00:19:19,443 --> 00:19:21,309 -Yeah, you're like an old married couple. 380 00:19:21,443 --> 00:19:23,743 Including the celibacy. 381 00:19:23,877 --> 00:19:25,810 -My Johnny... He's gone. 382 00:19:25,943 --> 00:19:28,376 At least, he died knowing I stayed loyal to him... 383 00:19:28,510 --> 00:19:30,043 this one time. 384 00:19:31,910 --> 00:19:33,643 -This is death? 385 00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:37,043 Just me alone by myself for all eternity? 386 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,010 God, I've gone from a living nightmare 387 00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:41,243 to an existential one! 388 00:19:42,343 --> 00:19:45,010 Oh, f(beep) this! I'm out! 389 00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:47,710 (sobbing) 390 00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:50,643 (grunting, panting) 391 00:19:50,777 --> 00:19:53,109 Whoa, it's true! 392 00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,243 I really can't die! 393 00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:03,843 -Free, at last! Free! 394 00:20:03,977 --> 00:20:05,710 -The key must've gotten stuck to you when you were 395 00:20:05,843 --> 00:20:08,676 stuck inside of me! -You were inside this thing? 396 00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:10,843 You dirty, two-timing hypocrite! 397 00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:12,843 -No, he swallowed me! 398 00:20:12,977 --> 00:20:14,910 -I don't care if he swallowed! 399 00:20:15,043 --> 00:20:16,710 Oh, you mean literally? 400 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:18,943 (retching) 401 00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:21,343 -The yoga pants! 402 00:20:21,476 --> 00:20:24,076 Come on... (grunting in effort) 403 00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:26,076 -So you heard, right? 404 00:20:26,209 --> 00:20:28,510 I didn't cheat on you after all... with Dwayne. 405 00:20:28,643 --> 00:20:31,243 -Then with who? -No one! Shut up. Stop talking. 406 00:20:31,376 --> 00:20:34,510 -Wait, did you talk me out of jumping because you love me 407 00:20:34,643 --> 00:20:37,543 or because I had that key? -Can't it be both? 408 00:20:37,676 --> 00:20:40,576 -I guess I have to love you for who you are too. 409 00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:45,810 -Ugh, doesn't she know where that thing's been? 410 00:20:48,743 --> 00:20:52,376 -Help me! Help! The Brides of Christ are taking over! 411 00:20:52,510 --> 00:20:55,209 -Dad, the hot nuns are refusing to leave! 412 00:20:55,343 --> 00:20:57,309 They say St. Zephyr is their town now. 413 00:20:57,443 --> 00:21:00,676 -Dammit, you just can't trust clergy people these days! 414 00:21:02,743 --> 00:21:05,143 Christ, I can't even right now. 415 00:21:05,276 --> 00:21:07,276 I do not wanna fight a bunch of nuns! 416 00:21:07,410 --> 00:21:08,910 -My brother! 417 00:21:09,043 --> 00:21:10,710 Oh, thank God you're still alive! 418 00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:14,243 I found the perfect way to kill you! Drowning. 419 00:21:14,376 --> 00:21:17,209 If we leave now and march East, we'll hit the ocean eventually. 420 00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:21,209 -Sorry, Manson, I want to live. 421 00:21:21,343 --> 00:21:22,877 -Aw man, come on! 422 00:21:23,010 --> 00:21:25,743 I hate quitters almost as much as I hate No-Mos. 423 00:21:25,877 --> 00:21:28,010 That's my new word for non-mutants. 424 00:21:28,143 --> 00:21:30,743 Anyway, you suck, Jetsie Jizzface! 425 00:21:30,877 --> 00:21:32,410 (horny chuckles) 426 00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:36,043 (silly laugh) Who are they? 427 00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:39,209 (happy laughter) 428 00:21:39,343 --> 00:21:41,343 -Musicians, man. Pff! 429 00:21:41,476 --> 00:21:44,977 Those bastards get all the chicks. Am I right? 430 00:21:45,977 --> 00:21:50,743 Closed Captioning: Épilogue Technical Services Inc.