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-That's the last time we go exploring any caves.
-You should have listened to me about sticking together.
Well once you started calling us "The Spelunking Brothers",
I had a sudden urge to be nowhere near you.
-Remember mom said the first and best way to die is to split up?
-I do because... she was spanking us when she yelled it.
-Well, if she was here now, she'd make me team leader.
-Please! She would have you scrubbing toilets
with your tongue for getting us lost!
-You don't know what you're talking about.
-Nice to see you two getting along.
-Argh! Whenever I suggest anything,
Rafe does the exact opposite!
Just once, I wish that big dumb ape would listen to me!
-Who's a big dump ape?
-Huh? You're back already?
-Well, that's the last time we go exploring any...
All right, it's on!
-I should really start charging cover, I'd make a fortune.
-Christ on a cracker, Gabe,
I have plans today. I do not need this right now.
-I don't even know what's happening.
Which one of you is the real Rafe?
-None of them are. Look at their stomachs.
No belly buttons.
I assume your brother has one, right?
Aaah!
He! He! He!
-Mom!
Oh yeah, he does.
I've had the ear infections to prove it.
-So the real Rafe is lost in that cave?
-Figures. I better go find him,
before he gets hungry and gnaws off his own leg.
-Hold on! Before, you got to get rid of these guys!
Otherwise, we're gonna have us a serious "Rafe-fugee" problem.
Ah, you guys suck! -Guys!
Look! I got my own harem of studs.
Go ahead and run.
It's your loss, you mutts!
-Hum...
He! He! He!
-Hey, chuds! Where you're going?
-Okay. Open the gate.
-Knock yourself out, big guy! -Oh yeah! Woohoo!
Hey, Jud, what's you doing?
-Needlepoint. What's it look like?
Just trying to make life in this prison a little more bearable.
Ah! Ha! Ha!
It's called a Camelbar.
It's the only candy bar made with nougat, fudge,
and real Egyptian caramel.
You do know we have a key for that machine.
-Yep!
Hey, what's that?
Hum...
Ah! Oh, my God! I know her!
She's my mother!
-Your what?
Okay... There goes my appetite!
-Shit! It's Tuesday already?
-You bet! Mom could be home,
any minutes, so run and make our bed, will you?
-Didn't I burn and bury this?
-I have back-ups. Now hurry! I want everything perfect!
Hey, hey, hey, manners! Wait for your mother!
-It'll get cold.
I'm so sick of eating cold eggplant every week.
Look, dad, mom isn't coming back and you know it.
-She said, she'd be back Tuesday.
-Yeah! Months before the apocalypse!
But every week you go through this pathetic ritual.
You think some cold eggplant
is gonna make mom magically appear?
Face it, dad! It won't.
-I didn't know you felt so strongly
about the temperature of eggplant.
-Rafe?
Hello?
Rafe!
Ah!
-That's the last time we go exploring any caves!
-Hey, do you have a belly button?
-Of course, I...
Oh, wow! I don't!
Ah!
I do now! Oh...
-Ew...
-How the hell can you have a mother, AENUS?
Remember I told you about Sophia,
the scientist who created me?
This is her.
Here, let me close her sweet eye.
Ah! Oh no!
-Yeesh! Happy fricking Mother's Day!
What's that in her hand?
I'm so sorry mommy!
-Wait a sec! What do we have here?
No! Let me get it.
You've desecrated your mother's corpse enough!
-Holy shit!
-Danika? I thought you were out!
You were right, kid.
If I want your mother to come home, I got to make it happen.
-And driving felt too easy?
-Too slow!
These trade winds blow south, we'll be there in a week!
-Dad, you idiot! We're going north!
Hello!
Phew, finally!
-What the hell are you doing
trying to undress your brother, you perv?
-Mommy?
-Shh! Great! Now you woke him up!
I'm so sorry Gabe ruined your nap, number one son.
-Mom, you're really back?
I was afraid it was just a dream.
-Mom, how did you get here? -You should have seen it.
I was trying to find the way out.
I started thinking about mom and then...
-She appeared out of a pink bubble?
-Exactly!
-Mom, do you have a belly button?
-None of your damn business!
No, I do not.
-I think this cave reads your mind
and creates people out of that pink lichen.
Like in the Dimension Patrol novel
The Doppelgänger Comes To Dinner.
-Here we go with the space books!
-Captain Thaddeus finds an asteroid that creates people
based on thoughts and memories.
Then he gets to play chess with his long-dead father... Ah!
-Enough with that Sci-Fi horse crap, Gabe! You fucking nerd!
-You don't have to hit me!
-Learn how to duck!
-Ah...
-Gabe, honey, come here and give mommy a hug.
-God damn it, Rafe!
-Ha! Ha! Classic! Nerd!
-Come on! Scram!
-Leave those Rafes alone! -Relax!
They're vermin with chin straps! -They are not vermin!
They're majestic young men with amazing facial hair!
Right, Rafe? -I'm so confused right now!
What's with all the me-s?
-Those formed the first time I was looking for you.
-See, he went back to look for you twice. That's my Gab!
Loyal and handsome!
-Thank you, mom. I'm glad someone appreciates
everything I do for this family.
-Blah-blah-blah!
That's what you sound like, you baby!
-Well, Rafe looks like an overgrown baby!
If it wasn't for the ragweed on his face,
you'd need a map to his chin.
-Rafe has a very defined chin!
By the way, I'm driving. -Over my dead body.
-This is not gonna end well.
-What are you talking about? We got mom back. Twice!
This is gonna be awesome!
Oh, and I call shotgun!
-No! I get shotgun!
-What are you doing?
-Taking us home in one piece.
-Well, stop it! We're finally heading south!
Don't you want to see your mother?
-Of course! But she doesn't want to see us.
That's why she left for Venezuela
with a plastic surgeon.
-No! She went to a plastic surgeon
for a procedure!
-Yeah! A procedure called divorce.
-What are you talking about? Doctors can't get divorces.
-Dad! I can't pull you up, you have to climb.
-God damn it! I got to do everything myself!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Ow!
-Dad, please!
Can we just turn around before one of us gets hurt?
-Sorry, kid. Your mom awaits!
-Why bother? She was a crappy mom, a terrible wife.
And she didn't give a fart in a windstorm about us!
-She had a good side too!
-Like what? -She was a wild cat in the sack!
-Ew! Gross!
-"My name is Dr. Sophia Ayon.
I'm being held against my will by general Hecks
after refusing to install a strike drone operating system
into the AENUS unit I built for this bunker.
I'd rather die than to see my AENUS become a weapon."
If the drone operating system is on that drive.
It has to be destroyed. -Wait a sec!
You could find this Hecks guy and make him pay
for killing your mom.
No! Mommy died specifically
to prevent me from becoming a weapon.
-Yeah, yeah, we all saw Iron Giant.
Besides, General Hecks likely perished in the apocalypse.
Wait a moment... All high-ranking military personnel
have a tracking chip installed... There!
There he is!
-Uh? Come on, AENUS!
This is a chance to experience
the sweetest of all human emotions!
Seeing justice served? -No!
Violent, bloody, merciless revenge!
So, what do you say?
-Well?
I'm thinking!
I could just give him a very stern talking-to.
-No surprise it took for-freaking-ever to get here
with her driving!
-It's hard to focus with your buzz-saw voice
giving me bad directions!
-Oh, I'll give you a buzz-saw!
-Easy mom, she's not worth it!
-Hey, she is totally worth it! -Yeah! Let her come!
I'll whip her ass, then whip up some squirrel stew for Rafe.
-Yeah, give him more food.
What, are you trying to give him diabetes?
You know how hard it's gonna be to find insulin here?
-Easier than finding a gal to go out with Mr. Manorexic
over here.
-Oh, so it's a bad thing
that Gabe can actually see his own dick?
-I will not let you give Rafe an eating disorder!
You already made Gabe a bulimic.
-I'm not bulimic!
-It's just stress, not bulimia.
-I always did wonder how you stayed so trim.
-Hey! Tell your ugly twin girlfriends to knock it off!
-Danika?
Why are we changing direction?
-Stay back.
This thing is unsteady enough. I don't want to fall.
Look, I never wanted to show you this but here...
It's Mom's receipt for a one-way ticket to Venezuela.
She had no plans to come back. -You don't know that!
Look at this! Tons of pictures of you, me...
and your mom being a happy family!
Why wouldn't she want to come back?
-It's all pictures of you fighting the clown
at my fifth birthday party.
-Well, he started it! And look!
Your Mom's laughing in all of these pictures.
Mainly because he's shoving my face into the cake, but still!
Man, me and her had good times! -Hey...
then maybe we should be home in case she shows up?
I mean that's the first place she'd go, right?
-Holy crap!
You're right! Why didn't you say so?
We got to land this bird!
That should do the trick.
-This is all your fault for making another Mom!
She's tearing this family apart!
-Oh, really? Because yours shot first!
-Who's shooting?
Ana! Shut up you cry babies!
-Ana, you're okay?
-So you know how long that will take to grow back?
And what's with the kill-crazy twins?
Let me guess, the cave?
-Yeah! Those are actually our moms.
-Well, that explains a lot.
-What do you say we drop the guns
and settle this with blades?
-No!
Once I slice you up,
your fat idiot son will try to eat you!
-Guys, you gotta stop to your mothers
before they destroy the town.
-She's right. Let's split up.
I'll go talk to mine, you talk to yours.
-No way! We should approach the Moms as a unit.
We need to... -...be each other's shields.
-Yes. And I'll stay behind you.
-AENUS, this Hecks bastard has killed three mutants
since we spotted him.
He deserves to get wasted.
The dead kind, not the fun kind.
I will not become a weapon!
-How can you just sit there while your mom's murderer
is strutting around like he owns the wasteland?
Perhaps my morals just aren't as flexible as yours.
-Why did you do that? -Maybe you don't have
the microchips to off this murdering son of a bitch,
but I sure as shit do.
Morals, my ass!
-Well, we're alive. Now I guess we just go back home
and wait for your mother... again.
-"Dear Mom.
It's been a while, but Dwayne and I are still alive
in St. Zephyr.
We miss you and want to see you."
What is this?
-If it's meant to be, she'll find it.
These trade winds blow south, right?
-Honestly, I have no idea what the hell a "trade wind" even is.
Come on, let's go home...
-Look, I know this is hard for you to accept,
but you dropped a ball raising Gab.
He's dead weight.
-Pff! The only thing Rafe's good for is making body odour
and stale meat farts.
-Oh, you're funny!
You know what else would be funny?
Me, Chucks and Palahniuking your brains all over that wall.
-I'd say the same to you but I doubt you have any brains!
Hey, since we're doing elementary school jokes...
Knock, knock! -Oh, oh, I know this one!
-Who's there? -Not you, sweetie.
-Oh, maybe they'll bond over laughter
and lay down their arms...
-I said, "knock, knock!"
-Who's there? -A bullet.
-A bullet who?
-A bullet right through your face, you unfit mother!
-Oh!
-Rafe, get clear or you'll get shot.
-Good job, Gabe! Keep using Rafe as a human shield!
-See, I told you! -Judiths!
We have a proposition!
-Come out so we can proposition you!
-I thought you'd never ask, Rafe...
Oh, you're talking to the gross chicks. Ew.
-Say the word, Rafe, and I'll cap them both.
-Try it and I'll shoot a grenade so far up you,
you'll taste it before it goes off.
-Quiet!
We think that Rafe and you should move back
to our old place and live there together.
-And you and Gabe can live here.
That way neither of you has to see each other again.
-Yeah, I suppose we could.
-Now!
-Fail! Ha! Ha!
-I was wrong. We should have split up!
-You shouldn't have done that, boys.
-Yeah, you really shouldn't have.
-Well, it's nice to see they finally agree on something.
-Uh?
Uh?
-Hum?
-Alrighty, general,
get ready to suck some sidewinder.
Wait! -Sorry, it's for your own good.
No. I mean, let me do it.
-Oh!
-Youpi!
-So what changed your mind?
Oh, his smug ugly self-righteous face.
Despite my reservations about becoming a weapon,
that felt... good.
Like really darn good!
-That's maybe the most human thing you've ever said.
Mind if I make a pit stop on the way home.
Be my guest.
-Yeah... Me, I got an idea.
-What's on our mind?
-Let's go back to that cave and make more Rafes and Gabes.
-Better Rafes and Gabes. Perfect Rafes and Gabes.
-But they wouldn't have belly buttons.
Say good night to mommy, boys!
Rafe?
Gabe? Is that you?
-Mom? -Are you real?
-As real as it gets, boys!
Come give mama a hug!
Damn, I missed you!
-Ow! Ow! Ow!
-I'm flying this thing from inside a super bunker!
-Where? -I'll get you coordinates,
but my battery's getting low!
So... Where'd these clones of me come from?
-She made us bleed.
Just like the old days.
Mom... Mom... Mom... Mom...
Mom... Mom... Mom...
Mom... Mom...
-Hey, my boys!
Sorry, this is gonna hurt me a lot more it's gonna hurt you!
I'll take that bet!
-Okay, maybe not.
Ha! Ha! Judith, one.
Clones, fuck all!
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