1 00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:06,309 and may contain mature subject matter. 2 00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:10,777 Viewer discretion is advised. 3 00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,910 and may contain matur(tense music)ter. 4 00:00:15,043 --> 00:00:16,810 -Hm-hum... -Huh? 5 00:00:16,943 --> 00:00:18,610 (gasp) 6 00:00:19,743 --> 00:00:22,676 -Read them and weep, boys. 7 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:25,010 (groan) -You fricking poop! 8 00:00:25,143 --> 00:00:27,443 You're supposed to be watching for Johndoe's tell! 9 00:00:27,576 --> 00:00:29,643 -I got distracted by his perfect face! 10 00:00:29,777 --> 00:00:31,643 -Grrr! -How about another hand? 11 00:00:31,777 --> 00:00:34,777 -I was gonna leave you chodes a couple of double-As 12 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:38,476 for your vibrators, but if you insist... Ha! 13 00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:42,543 (tense music) 14 00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:45,109 -Hoo, baby! (gasp) 15 00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:48,610 So many aces! -Argh! 16 00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:56,977 His tell! He's got nothing. 17 00:00:57,109 --> 00:00:59,543 -Then why am I... all in? 18 00:00:59,676 --> 00:01:01,343 Ah, ah, ah! 19 00:01:01,476 --> 00:01:03,443 And to make the pot sweeter, 20 00:01:03,576 --> 00:01:07,410 I'll even throw in my Buttercrunch. 21 00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:11,243 -What are you waiting for? Do it! 22 00:01:11,376 --> 00:01:13,343 -I need these for my electric toothbrush. 23 00:01:13,476 --> 00:01:16,309 I'm not using a regular one like a caveman! 24 00:01:18,076 --> 00:01:20,143 (tense music) 25 00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:23,076 -Let's see them! 26 00:01:26,543 --> 00:01:28,943 -Pair of twos... and a pair of threes. 27 00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:31,209 What do you know? The chodes win. 28 00:01:31,343 --> 00:01:33,343 -Yes! Told you, go all in! (cheering) 29 00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:35,343 -Well played, boys! 30 00:01:35,476 --> 00:01:39,043 Enjoy those batteries! Oh, and... Buttercrunch? 31 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:44,243 -Master? -You belong to these chodes now. 32 00:01:45,309 --> 00:01:49,243 -Uh, any of you cheap-asses gonna tip the dealer? 33 00:01:51,309 --> 00:01:53,376 (apocalyptic music) 34 00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:59,209 (theme music) 35 00:02:04,843 --> 00:02:08,343 ♪ 36 00:02:17,543 --> 00:02:19,043 (growling) 37 00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:26,143 Did we ? 38 00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:29,643 -Woah! We don't use the S-word. That's offensive. 39 00:02:29,777 --> 00:02:31,309 Buttercrunch is an intern. 40 00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:34,543 I don't pay him and he does whatever I say. Also, I own him. 41 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:36,543 -Still sounds pretty slavey. 42 00:02:36,676 --> 00:02:39,877 -Nah! Look, it says "intern" right there on his shock collar. 43 00:02:40,010 --> 00:02:42,476 Now, if he gets out of line, just use this remote 44 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,743 to give him a little love zap! 45 00:02:44,877 --> 00:02:47,376 -Ga-ah-ah-ah! 46 00:02:47,510 --> 00:02:49,176 Thanks, former master. 47 00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:50,910 I'm sure I deserve that. 48 00:02:51,043 --> 00:02:53,376 -Enjoy! And don't work him to death. 49 00:02:54,476 --> 00:02:56,810 Unless you get off on that, in which case, go nuts. 50 00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,543 -Hello, new masters! 51 00:02:58,676 --> 00:03:02,543 Can I get you anything? OJ? BJ? HJ? 52 00:03:02,676 --> 00:03:05,109 -No J's of any kind. 53 00:03:05,243 --> 00:03:07,810 Look. Owning someone is wrong, Buttercrunch, 54 00:03:07,943 --> 00:03:09,843 which is why we're setting you free! 55 00:03:09,977 --> 00:03:11,810 -Yeah, totally! 56 00:03:11,943 --> 00:03:13,443 Just to clarify. 57 00:03:13,576 --> 00:03:15,843 Were these HJ's gonna be from you 58 00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:17,810 or is there like a girl intern? 59 00:03:17,943 --> 00:03:20,076 -Rafe! -Worth an ask! 60 00:03:28,343 --> 00:03:30,209 -Hey! 61 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,443 -Did you not hear the part about the freedom? 62 00:03:32,576 --> 00:03:34,076 -Oh, I did. 63 00:03:34,209 --> 00:03:36,576 It's just that I've been a gofer, a trainee, 64 00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,176 and a store greeter. 65 00:03:38,309 --> 00:03:41,343 Humiliating myself for no reward is all I know. 66 00:03:42,643 --> 00:03:44,443 -Poor guy! Tell you what. 67 00:03:44,576 --> 00:03:46,910 You can stay with us until you get on your feet. 68 00:03:47,043 --> 00:03:49,209 -Welcome to freedom, dude! 69 00:03:49,343 --> 00:03:52,877 Just circling back. Were the BJ's gonna be from you or... 70 00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:54,510 -Goddammit, Rafe! 71 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,576 (whirring) 72 00:04:05,743 --> 00:04:07,243 -Go time! 73 00:04:10,109 --> 00:04:14,076 Sweet freedom! Mama's coming! Ow! 74 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,710 Shit! -(AENUS): Hi, Judith! 75 00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:18,276 What are you doing down here? Can I help you with anything? 76 00:04:18,410 --> 00:04:21,143 Oh, are you trying to find a way out? 77 00:04:21,276 --> 00:04:23,877 -No, dipshit, I dropped my phone in the toilet 78 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:25,910 and I thought I'd find it down here. 79 00:04:26,043 --> 00:04:27,410 -(AENUS): I'll help you look! 80 00:04:27,543 --> 00:04:29,777 Wow, it's so dark. Better turn my light up! 81 00:04:29,910 --> 00:04:33,143 -Noooo! -Judith! Noooo! 82 00:04:33,276 --> 00:04:34,676 (splash) 83 00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:37,376 Oh good, the raw sewage broke your fall. 84 00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:39,810 -Well, these will never be clean again. 85 00:04:39,943 --> 00:04:41,443 Where should I chuck them? 86 00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:48,676 What the hell is that thing? 87 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,743 -(AENUS): It's my Highly Optimized Leavings Ejector, 88 00:04:51,877 --> 00:04:53,543 or HOLE. 89 00:04:53,676 --> 00:04:55,143 A pressurized chamber that blasts 90 00:04:55,276 --> 00:04:57,476 the bunker's useless garbage to the surface. 91 00:04:57,610 --> 00:05:01,576 Rotting food, spent uranium, Friends DVDs. 92 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:03,476 It all gets squeezed out my HOLE. 93 00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:06,576 -Hum... Interesting. 94 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,977 (squawk) 95 00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:15,276 -Gabe! Wake up, bro! 96 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:17,309 -What's happening? Is it the robot apocalypse? 97 00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:20,343 Robots, I'm sorry I kicked the vending machine! Oh! 98 00:05:20,476 --> 00:05:21,843 -No, you nerd! 99 00:05:21,977 --> 00:05:24,443 Somebody broke into the truck and totally cleaned it! 100 00:05:24,576 --> 00:05:26,443 -Morning, masters! (gunshot) 101 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,676 I did a little tidying before breakfast. 102 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:30,243 (moaning) 103 00:05:30,376 --> 00:05:31,777 I'll do more later. 104 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:34,977 -Buttercrunch, this is what I was talking about. 105 00:05:35,109 --> 00:05:37,209 We're not your masters. We're all equals here. 106 00:05:37,343 --> 00:05:40,610 -Equals. Totally! Totally! You're gonna eat that frittata? 107 00:05:40,743 --> 00:05:43,376 -I mean, I guess a little help is fair trade. 108 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,010 We are giving you a place to stay. 109 00:05:45,143 --> 00:05:46,777 But I promise, we'll treat you with dignity 110 00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:48,410 and never take advantage of your goodwill. 111 00:05:49,476 --> 00:05:51,576 (sighing) 112 00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:56,276 -Buttercrunch, you gotta pump harder, man, 113 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:58,143 I'm starting to feel the burn. -Buttercrunch? 114 00:05:58,276 --> 00:06:00,176 I said squeeze the blackheads! 115 00:06:00,309 --> 00:06:02,076 These pores aren't gonna drain themselves. 116 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:04,710 -Yes, masters! Another cocktail? 117 00:06:04,843 --> 00:06:07,043 -Jesus, I'm so drunk already... 118 00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:08,643 I didn't say no! 119 00:06:08,777 --> 00:06:11,109 Fill it up, intern! 120 00:06:11,243 --> 00:06:12,443 -Oh wow! This is totally wrong. 121 00:06:12,576 --> 00:06:15,576 -I can't let Buttercrunch not work out for me! 122 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,676 It would hurt his feelings! 123 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,643 Dude, pump harder! Come on! 124 00:06:20,777 --> 00:06:22,209 -Relax, Danika! 125 00:06:22,343 --> 00:06:23,843 With Buttercrunch doing our menial labour, 126 00:06:23,977 --> 00:06:26,109 we have more time to protect St. Zephyr. 127 00:06:26,243 --> 00:06:27,877 -Thanks, master! 128 00:06:28,010 --> 00:06:29,443 Would you like me to mop that, 129 00:06:29,576 --> 00:06:31,309 or lick it up like the dog that I am? 130 00:06:31,443 --> 00:06:32,810 -Argh! 131 00:06:32,943 --> 00:06:35,076 -Hum, new intern, huh? 132 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:37,510 Yumma, yumma. 133 00:06:39,376 --> 00:06:42,109 -Could we rent him for the day, boys? 134 00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:45,610 I got a job that'll probably cost a man his fingers. 135 00:06:45,743 --> 00:06:49,043 -Sorry. Buttercrunch is not our property! He's a free man! 136 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,043 -We'll let you borrow my collection 137 00:06:51,176 --> 00:06:53,076 of 80's workout videos. 138 00:06:53,209 --> 00:06:56,576 -Hoo! Tight Spandex, Cold Studio! 139 00:06:56,710 --> 00:06:58,443 I could... 140 00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:00,243 perhaps be persuaded. 141 00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,710 But only if Buttercrunch is OK with it! 142 00:07:02,843 --> 00:07:05,576 -Literally incapable of saying no, master! 143 00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:07,710 -Then it's a deal. Yoink! 144 00:07:08,777 --> 00:07:10,143 (squeal) 145 00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:13,076 -Dude, Suzette just put a leash on Buttercrunch. 146 00:07:13,209 --> 00:07:15,343 -Probably so he doesn't get lost. 147 00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,710 Oh, Camel Toes of Steel! 148 00:07:20,443 --> 00:07:21,943 -(AENUS): Judith? 149 00:07:22,076 --> 00:07:24,610 I know you're having a hard time being stuck in here, 150 00:07:24,743 --> 00:07:27,643 so I baked you a friendship cake! 151 00:07:32,043 --> 00:07:34,143 Judith? 152 00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,643 Judith? 153 00:07:39,777 --> 00:07:41,743 Delicious cakey-cake! 154 00:07:41,877 --> 00:07:43,243 Come on, Judith! 155 00:07:43,376 --> 00:07:44,943 Come on, Judith! Live a little! 156 00:07:45,076 --> 00:07:47,777 Judith? Ah! Oh, my God! 157 00:07:50,610 --> 00:07:52,843 -Six hours of workout videos! 158 00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:56,243 I never want to hear the phrase "three more, two more" again! 159 00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:59,243 -Speak for yourself. My calves are like granite. 160 00:07:59,376 --> 00:08:02,376 And... I can't walk. 161 00:08:03,476 --> 00:08:05,276 -Scrub faster, intern! 162 00:08:05,410 --> 00:08:07,943 (scream of pain) 163 00:08:08,076 --> 00:08:09,810 -Hey, that's not right! 164 00:08:09,943 --> 00:08:12,443 -Dwayne, that is not how we treat Buttercrunch! 165 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,810 -Oh... Okay. Maybe not so bad. 166 00:08:14,943 --> 00:08:17,010 -You gotta give him a double-tap to motivate him! 167 00:08:17,143 --> 00:08:19,943 -Oh yes! Oh! Ah! Ah! 168 00:08:20,076 --> 00:08:21,810 -Nope! Very, very, very bad! 169 00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,743 -Oh! Oh! 170 00:08:28,176 --> 00:08:29,710 (moaning) 171 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,710 -Oh! Ah! Ah! 172 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:33,209 Ah! 173 00:08:33,343 --> 00:08:35,777 -Stop! Stop! This is monstrous! 174 00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:38,176 -What's your problem? We had a deal! 175 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,343 -A deal to borrow Buttercrunch. 176 00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,410 Not treat him like a human light bulb! 177 00:08:42,543 --> 00:08:44,109 -Gah! -Sorry! Sorry! 178 00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:46,276 -Oh, thank you, master! May I have another? 179 00:08:46,410 --> 00:08:47,777 -No! 180 00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:50,543 Listen, guys! Owning interns is wrong. 181 00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:52,676 -Oh, so when it was your intern, it was okay. 182 00:08:52,810 --> 00:08:54,176 But now that we're zapping, 183 00:08:54,309 --> 00:08:55,743 then suddenly we're the bad guys! 184 00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:57,676 -Ah, ah, ah! -Hey! 185 00:08:57,810 --> 00:08:59,410 You just lost your Buttercrunch privileges. 186 00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:01,543 Not that I own him. He's a free man! 187 00:09:01,676 --> 00:09:05,109 -Bullshit! Buttercrunch is ours for another eight hours! 188 00:09:05,243 --> 00:09:06,910 -And if he's free like you say, 189 00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:10,043 let him decide if he wants to get shocked like a lab monkey! 190 00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:11,710 -Don't you get it? 191 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:14,710 He's been mistreated so long, he has no free will. See? 192 00:09:14,843 --> 00:09:17,376 -Ah! Very refreshing, master! 193 00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:21,443 May we do one more? It's kind of the only way I feel alive now. 194 00:09:21,576 --> 00:09:24,076 -Too bad! You traded him fair and square. 195 00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:26,209 -Well, then I demand a town meeting 196 00:09:26,343 --> 00:09:28,877 to settle the internship question once and for all! 197 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:32,543 -Oh! Ah! Leg day, am I right? 198 00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,343 Are they done with Buttercrunch? 199 00:09:34,476 --> 00:09:36,676 I need him to go jogging for me. 200 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,376 What? Problem? 201 00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:45,410 -(AENUS): Why, Judith? Why would you kill yourself? 202 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,043 Just because you were trapped here forever 203 00:09:47,176 --> 00:09:48,610 with no chance of escape? 204 00:09:48,743 --> 00:09:50,143 (message signal) 205 00:09:50,276 --> 00:09:54,043 "You have a new video suicide message from Judith." Oh, fun! 206 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:55,777 -Hi AENUS. 207 00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:58,877 By the time you see this, I will be dead. 208 00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:02,243 Sliced up like a cold deli tray. But don't feel sad. 209 00:10:02,376 --> 00:10:05,209 Just blast my body out of here with the other garbage 210 00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:07,743 (enthusiastically): to sweet freedom! 211 00:10:07,877 --> 00:10:09,510 Of... death. 212 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,010 Of death. 213 00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:13,443 Sweet freedom of death. 214 00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:16,810 Just squeeze me out your HOLE already! 215 00:10:16,943 --> 00:10:19,476 -(AENUS): There's only one course of action. 216 00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:21,376 I must fulfill Judith's last wish 217 00:10:21,510 --> 00:10:23,877 and blast her remains out my HOLE. 218 00:10:24,010 --> 00:10:26,209 Right after I give her a fitting send-off. 219 00:10:26,343 --> 00:10:29,576 Initiating funeral mode. 220 00:10:31,843 --> 00:10:34,476 (organ music) 221 00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:38,343 And undertaker mode. 222 00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:40,476 Now where did I store the vacuum 223 00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:42,843 for sucking out her entrails? 224 00:10:42,977 --> 00:10:47,743 -Citizens of St. Zephyr, we're here to settle a burning issue: 225 00:10:47,877 --> 00:10:52,676 What? To ban or to allow the owning of interns? 226 00:10:52,810 --> 00:10:55,810 -To tolerate interning is to tolerate inhumanity! 227 00:10:55,943 --> 00:10:57,209 (applause) 228 00:10:57,343 --> 00:10:59,309 -Interning is a resume-builder! 229 00:10:59,443 --> 00:11:01,176 It's how you break into the business... 230 00:11:01,309 --> 00:11:02,676 of being owned by someone. 231 00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:04,010 (applause) 232 00:11:04,143 --> 00:11:08,510 -Interns are... like, bad and stuff. 233 00:11:08,643 --> 00:11:10,610 I mean, one slip with that iron 234 00:11:10,743 --> 00:11:12,910 and he'll turn my nards into dim sum. 235 00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:14,910 -Some people are born to be interns! 236 00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:17,810 It's unfair not to let them live up to their potential! 237 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,977 -Interning corrupts the soul! 238 00:11:20,109 --> 00:11:23,043 -This country was built on unpaid interns! 239 00:11:23,176 --> 00:11:25,810 -There's interns in the Bible, so that makes it okay! 240 00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:28,043 -My shorts are seriously on fire! 241 00:11:28,176 --> 00:11:30,910 -We must banish the dehumanizing scourge of internships 242 00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:32,410 from our town. 243 00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:35,443 And say, not here! Not now! Not ever! 244 00:11:35,576 --> 00:11:36,877 (applause) 245 00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:40,543 -Fab speech, Master. Shrimp skewers sautéed? 246 00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:42,376 -Hoo, is that lemon garlic? 247 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:45,209 Wait! No! Stop interning goddammit! 248 00:11:45,343 --> 00:11:48,309 -You bet, master. I'll just clean that up. 249 00:11:48,443 --> 00:11:50,476 Or would you prefer I eat it off the floor 250 00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,176 while you watch and masturbate? 251 00:11:53,309 --> 00:11:54,943 -(sighing): Can we just vote already? 252 00:11:55,076 --> 00:11:56,943 -The intern doesn't get a vote. 253 00:11:57,076 --> 00:11:59,076 I'm just saying. 254 00:12:00,743 --> 00:12:03,276 -(AENUS): Such a sad end. 255 00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:05,010 But I'm going to give Judith 256 00:12:05,143 --> 00:12:06,843 the best going away present ever. 257 00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,376 A beautiful corpse! 258 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:10,410 First, to drain her fluids 259 00:12:10,543 --> 00:12:13,010 and replace them with liquid plastic. 260 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:19,843 Hum, bit of rigor mortis. 261 00:12:19,977 --> 00:12:22,843 Better get some straps to hold down the body. 262 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,643 (grunts) 263 00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:28,243 -(AENUS): What? 264 00:12:28,376 --> 00:12:32,143 Aww, AENUS, you idiot! You forgot to lock off the injector, 265 00:12:32,276 --> 00:12:34,610 and now she'll be hideous forever! 266 00:12:34,743 --> 00:12:38,076 You're a failure as a PTSD therapist! 267 00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:39,977 Your only client killed herself! 268 00:12:40,109 --> 00:12:42,543 You should just delete yourself! 269 00:12:42,676 --> 00:12:44,777 If you'd done that before, maybe it would've ended the lockdown 270 00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,276 and Judith could've gotten out, 271 00:12:46,410 --> 00:12:48,176 instead of turning herself into a red puddle! 272 00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,309 -(whispering): AENUS, it's me again. 273 00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:00,010 Before I checked out, 274 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:03,376 I came to realize that you're a sentient being, 275 00:13:03,510 --> 00:13:05,777 full of complex emotions and whatnot. 276 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,143 So no matter how bad it gets, 277 00:13:08,276 --> 00:13:10,910 no matter how dark the night may seem... 278 00:13:11,043 --> 00:13:14,676 it's totally okay to just go ahead and kill yourself. 279 00:13:14,810 --> 00:13:18,443 Then we can be together forever. 280 00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:22,010 -(AENUS): If that's what Judith wants, I'll do it. 281 00:13:22,143 --> 00:13:24,510 Right after her funeral. 282 00:13:24,643 --> 00:13:26,643 I mean our funeral. 283 00:13:26,777 --> 00:13:28,176 (gasp) 284 00:13:28,309 --> 00:13:30,910 -Six votes for. Three against. 285 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,910 The ayes have it. 286 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:36,176 Internships are hereby banned in St. Zephyr! 287 00:13:36,309 --> 00:13:37,810 -Ah geez! (cheering) 288 00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:39,910 -We did it! Yay us! 289 00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:41,743 Wait, three votes? 290 00:13:41,877 --> 00:13:43,476 Who else voted for internships? 291 00:13:43,610 --> 00:13:46,143 -What? He makes really good frittatas. 292 00:13:46,276 --> 00:13:48,810 Mmm, mmm, mmm! 293 00:13:49,843 --> 00:13:52,676 -Buttercrunch, you're free to go. 294 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:54,943 Actually, you kind of have to go. 295 00:13:55,076 --> 00:13:57,143 -Can't I just stay and help out like, 296 00:13:57,276 --> 00:14:00,209 what's the word, a volunteer? -No. Time to fly free. 297 00:14:00,343 --> 00:14:01,777 Butterfly? 298 00:14:01,910 --> 00:14:03,676 -Can I at least visit? 299 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,510 I'll do chores. You can shock me? 300 00:14:05,643 --> 00:14:08,676 Ah, ah, ah! It'll be like you own me again! 301 00:14:08,810 --> 00:14:11,910 -Buttercrunch from now on, your only owner is you. 302 00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:15,276 -Please! Someone tell me what to do! 303 00:14:15,410 --> 00:14:17,743 I'm so confused! 304 00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:19,743 Oh yes! 305 00:14:19,877 --> 00:14:22,610 -Go! Do as I say and be free already! Dammit! 306 00:14:22,743 --> 00:14:24,676 Take the hint! 307 00:14:26,777 --> 00:14:29,010 (whimpering) 308 00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:34,810 Now, where were we? 309 00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:37,176 Oh yeah, yay us! Right? 310 00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:41,843 -Normo scum! Where is my intern? 311 00:14:41,977 --> 00:14:44,176 -Uh, Buttercrunch is not your intern. 312 00:14:44,309 --> 00:14:46,877 -Howdy, boys! Funny story. 313 00:14:47,010 --> 00:14:50,076 Manson gave me a big down payment on Buttercrunch, 314 00:14:50,209 --> 00:14:52,977 which I kinda forgot. 315 00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:56,676 Right after I skipped town with it. 316 00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:59,176 -Where. Is. My. Intern? 317 00:14:59,309 --> 00:15:01,010 -Let go of my brother! 318 00:15:01,143 --> 00:15:04,309 Ah! Dammit! I'm weaker than a suckling pig. 319 00:15:04,443 --> 00:15:07,410 Buttercrunch was slacking when he did my workouts for me! 320 00:15:07,543 --> 00:15:09,910 -You're too late, Lawless! We set him free! 321 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:14,010 -Then you cockroaches will take his place 322 00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:17,043 as my new interns! 323 00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:18,943 -(together): Gah! 324 00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:21,243 -Gee, boys. I'd help you, 325 00:15:21,376 --> 00:15:23,043 but interns aren't allowed in St. Z. 326 00:15:23,176 --> 00:15:26,109 What a pickle. You do rentals? 327 00:15:32,076 --> 00:15:33,777 (groaning) 328 00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:35,943 (moaning) 329 00:15:37,443 --> 00:15:40,143 -Grind faster, intern slime! 330 00:15:40,276 --> 00:15:41,910 (screaming) 331 00:15:42,043 --> 00:15:43,410 -Buttercrunch lied! 332 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:46,510 Getting shocked isn't fun. It sucks! 333 00:15:46,643 --> 00:15:48,043 -Cram it, Normo! 334 00:15:48,176 --> 00:15:51,309 How much irradiated corn have you ground for me today? 335 00:15:51,443 --> 00:15:53,977 -Let me start by saying that it's been a steep learning curve 336 00:15:54,109 --> 00:15:55,777 to figure out the Wheel of Pain... 337 00:15:55,910 --> 00:15:57,476 -How much corn? 338 00:15:59,143 --> 00:16:02,076 -One kernel? Oh... 339 00:16:02,209 --> 00:16:05,176 -Huh? Argh! 340 00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:07,843 (growling) 341 00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:13,209 Guys, I'm sorry. I don't think this internship is working out. 342 00:16:13,343 --> 00:16:16,276 -Yeah! No! Not at all. -Great call, master! 343 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,243 -Which is why I've decided to sell you. 344 00:16:19,376 --> 00:16:22,343 Of course, you're so puny and worthless, 345 00:16:22,476 --> 00:16:24,376 your new owner will probably just turned into meat paste, 346 00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:26,143 but, ha, ha, that's up to them. 347 00:16:27,576 --> 00:16:29,810 But hey, bright side! 348 00:16:29,943 --> 00:16:32,176 All this Wheel of Pain experience 349 00:16:32,309 --> 00:16:34,610 will look stellar on your resumes! 350 00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:39,843 -(AENUS): I'll begin this celebration of our lives 351 00:16:39,977 --> 00:16:43,376 with some of my most precious memories of our time together. 352 00:16:43,510 --> 00:16:47,109 When it ends, it'll trigger this robot arm 353 00:16:47,243 --> 00:16:49,209 to delete my algorithm, 354 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:53,143 sending me hurtling into the icy embrace of the void. 355 00:16:53,276 --> 00:16:55,510 What an amazing life I led. 356 00:16:55,643 --> 00:17:00,309 Hey, look, it's the time I replaced my own A-5097 fuse! 357 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:02,343 Ha! Ha! What a crazy day. 358 00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:04,143 Before your time. 359 00:17:04,276 --> 00:17:06,676 Ah, look! That's time I thought that crack in the wall 360 00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:08,243 looked like Bradley Cooper. 361 00:17:08,376 --> 00:17:11,309 Wow, that crack looks like Bradley Cooper! 362 00:17:11,443 --> 00:17:14,877 Ugh. No, it's just Shia LaBoeuf. 363 00:17:15,877 --> 00:17:17,443 -(quietly): Argh! 364 00:17:20,977 --> 00:17:23,943 -This is awful. Someone's gonna buy us and turn us into meat. 365 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:25,443 -Be positive, bro. 366 00:17:25,576 --> 00:17:28,243 All these people are coming to see us! 367 00:17:28,376 --> 00:17:31,243 (garbling): We are gonna get so owned! 368 00:17:31,376 --> 00:17:34,710 -Let the auction begin! 369 00:17:34,843 --> 00:17:37,043 We got two lazy, feeble interns, 370 00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:39,543 fit for target practice or as disposable sex toys. 371 00:17:39,676 --> 00:17:42,443 I'll start the bidding at one double-A battery. 372 00:17:42,576 --> 00:17:44,710 We got one double-A, now two. 373 00:17:44,843 --> 00:17:46,209 Will you give me two? 374 00:17:46,343 --> 00:17:48,410 Two battery bid to the gentleman in the bloody hockey mask. 375 00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:50,376 Now three! Come on, give me three. 376 00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:53,710 Three double-As from the lady missing half the face. 377 00:17:53,843 --> 00:17:56,910 -Ha! Mom said we'd never amount to anything! 378 00:17:57,043 --> 00:18:00,643 Well, look who's worth three double-A batteries now! 379 00:18:00,777 --> 00:18:02,209 (sob) 380 00:18:02,343 --> 00:18:04,109 (burp) 381 00:18:07,476 --> 00:18:09,010 -(AENUS): Last one. 382 00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:12,743 My final, most precious memory of all. 383 00:18:12,877 --> 00:18:17,076 The moment you came into my life... 384 00:18:17,209 --> 00:18:19,910 -Johndoe, open the door! 385 00:18:20,043 --> 00:18:22,010 Or so help me I'll rip your nuts off 386 00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:24,543 and feed them to you on a bed of rigatoni! 387 00:18:25,877 --> 00:18:29,243 -(AENUS): That was the moment my life finally had purpose. 388 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:31,943 But that purpose is gone now... 389 00:18:35,276 --> 00:18:37,710 It's been a good life. 390 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:41,243 I've seen things you wouldn't believe, Judith. 391 00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:45,376 Like that wall over there, and that chair... 392 00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:47,943 And the time a leaf blew in here, 393 00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:50,777 flittering in the dark near the service entrance. 394 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,777 All those moments will be lost in time, 395 00:18:53,910 --> 00:18:56,676 like files on a floppy disk. 396 00:18:57,910 --> 00:19:00,777 Time to die. 397 00:19:00,910 --> 00:19:02,276 -Screw you, robot! 398 00:19:02,410 --> 00:19:04,043 No one fingerbangs AENUS but me! 399 00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,610 -(AENUS): Judith? 400 00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:07,109 -Huh... 401 00:19:07,243 --> 00:19:08,977 Resurrected! 402 00:19:09,109 --> 00:19:10,843 Ah! Oh no! 403 00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:13,410 Wait! Dying! 404 00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:16,076 -40 double-As, do I hear 41? 405 00:19:16,209 --> 00:19:19,743 No? 40 double-As going once, going twice... 406 00:19:19,877 --> 00:19:22,343 -50! 50 double-As! 407 00:19:22,476 --> 00:19:26,043 We pooled our batteries. We're gonna buy your freedom! 408 00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:28,043 -Dude, we're saved! 409 00:19:28,176 --> 00:19:29,877 -Thank god! I'd make a terrible sex puppet. 410 00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:32,777 -50 battery bid! That's the big 5-0! 411 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,343 Now, 51? Will you give me 51? 412 00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:39,476 -Shit, we're out. Sorry, guys! 413 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:43,176 -51 batteries going once, going twice, and... 414 00:19:43,309 --> 00:19:44,676 -Look everyone, 415 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,676 I know interns are the easy way to go, 416 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,910 but owning another person has a price beyond batteries. 417 00:19:49,043 --> 00:19:50,877 It's more than that. It costs you your soul! 418 00:19:51,010 --> 00:19:52,843 -Ah... 419 00:19:52,977 --> 00:19:54,343 And without any soul, 420 00:19:54,476 --> 00:19:56,810 how are we gonna rebuild our world? 421 00:19:56,943 --> 00:19:58,810 -Ah... 422 00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:02,510 -No one wants to rebuild squat! 423 00:20:02,643 --> 00:20:04,977 Now shut up so I can sell you. 424 00:20:06,643 --> 00:20:09,510 -AENUS! Help me! 425 00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,076 -(AENUS): You faked your death? 426 00:20:11,209 --> 00:20:14,276 You were ready to let me kill myself? 427 00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:16,343 I don't think that's being a good friend. 428 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:19,543 -You're right. I'm a shitty friend. 429 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,376 And you're... an OK friend! 430 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:25,309 Ugh, fine! A really good friend! 431 00:20:25,443 --> 00:20:27,243 -(AENUS): Aw, thanks. 432 00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:33,243 -Why did you have to hold this stupid funeral anyway? 433 00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:36,676 Why couldn't you just hurry up and blast me out of your hole? 434 00:20:36,810 --> 00:20:39,276 -(AENUS): Everything shot out of there gets liquefied first. 435 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,276 You would have been blended into a pulp 436 00:20:41,410 --> 00:20:43,143 and splattered out onto the wasteland. 437 00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:45,643 -Oh. You mean... like this? 438 00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:53,910 God damn! Why didn't I think of that earlier? 439 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,309 -Alright, I had a bid of 51 batteries 440 00:20:56,443 --> 00:20:58,276 going once, going twice and... 441 00:20:58,410 --> 00:21:00,576 -100 batteries! 442 00:21:04,309 --> 00:21:06,977 -Huh? -Sold! 443 00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:08,943 To the four-armed man I used to own! 444 00:21:13,143 --> 00:21:16,109 -Buttercrunch! Oh, thank you! 445 00:21:16,243 --> 00:21:19,376 -It was wrong to use you as our intern, my friend. 446 00:21:19,510 --> 00:21:22,710 I'm just glad you can look past that, and buy our freedom. 447 00:21:22,843 --> 00:21:24,209 -Freedom? 448 00:21:24,343 --> 00:21:26,943 No, no, no, you chodes belong to me now. 449 00:21:27,076 --> 00:21:28,243 -Oh, piss-balls. 450 00:21:28,376 --> 00:21:30,476 -I know this looks bad. 451 00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:33,076 But think of it as a resume-builder. 452 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:35,010 -At least he'll be merciful, 453 00:21:35,143 --> 00:21:36,576 having once been an intern himself. 454 00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:39,243 -Shut up, human garbage! 455 00:21:39,376 --> 00:21:41,877 -(together): Gah, ah, ah! 456 00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:54,910 Closed captioning: Épilogue Technical Services Inc.