1 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,267 and may contain mature subject matter. 2 00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:10,726 Viewer discretion is advised. 3 00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:13,867 and may contain matur(tense music)ter. 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,770 -Hm-hum... -Huh? 5 00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,630 -Read them and weep, boys. 6 00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,967 -You fricking poop! 7 00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,400 You're supposed to be watching for Johndoe's tell! 8 00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:29,603 -I got distracted by his perfect face! 9 00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:31,604 -Grrr! -How about another hand? 10 00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:34,734 -I was gonna leave you chodes a couple of double-As 11 00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:38,427 for your vibrators, but if you insist... Ha! 12 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,070 -Hoo, baby! 13 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,570 So many aces! -Argh! 14 00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,927 His tell! He's got nothing. 15 00:00:57,066 --> 00:00:59,496 -Then why am I... all in? 16 00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:01,303 Ah, ah, ah! 17 00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,403 And to make the pot sweeter, 18 00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:07,373 I'll even throw in my Buttercrunch. 19 00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,203 -What are you waiting for? Do it! 20 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,303 -I need these for my electric toothbrush. 21 00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:16,273 I'm not using a regular one like a caveman! 22 00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:23,027 -Let's see them! 23 00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,900 -Pair of twos... and a pair of threes. 24 00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:31,173 What do you know? The chodes win. 25 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,300 -Yes! Told you, go all in! 26 00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:35,303 -Well played, boys! 27 00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:39,003 Enjoy those batteries! Oh, and... Buttercrunch? 28 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,200 -Master? -You belong to these chodes now. 29 00:01:45,266 --> 00:01:49,196 -Uh, any of you cheap-asses gonna tip the dealer? 30 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,100 Did we ? 31 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,603 -Woah! We don't use the S-word. That's offensive. 32 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,274 Buttercrunch is an intern. 33 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,500 I don't pay him and he does whatever I say. Also, I own him. 34 00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:36,503 -Still sounds pretty slavey. 35 00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:39,833 -Nah! Look, it says "intern" right there on his shock collar. 36 00:02:39,967 --> 00:02:42,427 Now, if he gets out of line, just use this remote 37 00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,697 to give him a little love zap! 38 00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:47,334 -Ga-ah-ah-ah! 39 00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,127 Thanks, former master. 40 00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:50,866 I'm sure I deserve that. 41 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,330 -Enjoy! And don't work him to death. 42 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,773 Unless you get off on that, in which case, go nuts. 43 00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,500 -Hello, new masters! 44 00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:02,503 Can I get you anything? OJ? BJ? HJ? 45 00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:05,073 -No J's of any kind. 46 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,770 Look. Owning someone is wrong, Buttercrunch, 47 00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,800 which is why we're setting you free! 48 00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:11,774 -Yeah, totally! 49 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,400 Just to clarify. 50 00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,803 Were these HJ's gonna be from you 51 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,774 or is there like a girl intern? 52 00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,030 -Rafe! -Worth an ask! 53 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,170 -Hey! 54 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,400 -Did you not hear the part about the freedom? 55 00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:34,033 -Oh, I did. 56 00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,526 It's just that I've been a gofer, a trainee, 57 00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,127 and a store greeter. 58 00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:41,296 Humiliating myself for no reward is all I know. 59 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,400 -Poor guy! Tell you what. 60 00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:46,873 You can stay with us until you get on your feet. 61 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,170 -Welcome to freedom, dude! 62 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,830 Just circling back. Were the BJ's gonna be from you or... 63 00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,467 -Goddammit, Rafe! 64 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,200 -Go time! 65 00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:14,026 Sweet freedom! Mama's coming! Ow! 66 00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,666 Shit! Hi, Judith! 67 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,230 What are you doing down here? Can I help you with anything? 68 00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,097 Oh, are you trying to find a way out? 69 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:23,833 -No, dipshit, I dropped my phone in the toilet 70 00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:25,867 and I thought I'd find it down here. 71 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,370 I'll help you look! 72 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,730 Wow, it's so dark. Better turn my light up! 73 00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:33,097 -Noooo! -Judith! Noooo! 74 00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:37,327 Oh good, the raw sewage broke your fall. 75 00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,773 -Well, these will never be clean again. 76 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,400 Where should I chuck them? 77 00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,633 What the hell is that thing? 78 00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,697 It's my Highly Optimized Leavings Ejector, 79 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,504 or HOLE. 80 00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,103 A pressurized chamber that blasts 81 00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:57,433 the bunker's useless garbage to the surface. 82 00:04:57,567 --> 00:05:01,527 Rotting food, spent uranium, Friends DVDs. 83 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,427 It all gets squeezed out my HOLE. 84 00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:06,527 -Hum... Interesting. 85 00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:15,234 -Gabe! Wake up, bro! 86 00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,267 -What's happening? Is it the robot apocalypse? 87 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,300 Robots, I'm sorry I kicked the vending machine! Oh! 88 00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:21,803 -No, you nerd! 89 00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,404 Somebody broke into the truck and totally cleaned it! 90 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,403 -Morning, masters! 91 00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,633 I did a little tidying before breakfast. 92 00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,733 I'll do more later. 93 00:05:31,867 --> 00:05:34,927 -Buttercrunch, this is what I was talking about. 94 00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:37,166 We're not your masters. We're all equals here. 95 00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:40,570 -Equals. Totally! Totally! You're gonna eat that frittata? 96 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,330 -I mean, I guess a little help is fair trade. 97 00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:44,967 We are giving you a place to stay. 98 00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,730 But I promise, we'll treat you with dignity 99 00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:48,367 and never take advantage of your goodwill. 100 00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:56,227 -Buttercrunch, you gotta pump harder, man, 101 00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,097 I'm starting to feel the burn. -Buttercrunch? 102 00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,133 I said squeeze the blackheads! 103 00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:02,026 These pores aren't gonna drain themselves. 104 00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:04,666 -Yes, masters! Another cocktail? 105 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,000 -Jesus, I'm so drunk already... 106 00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,603 I didn't say no! 107 00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:11,074 Fill it up, intern! 108 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,400 -Oh wow! This is totally wrong. 109 00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:15,533 -I can't let Buttercrunch not work out for me! 110 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,627 It would hurt his feelings! 111 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,597 Dude, pump harder! Come on! 112 00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:22,174 -Relax, Danika! 113 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,800 With Buttercrunch doing our menial labour, 114 00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,074 we have more time to protect St. Zephyr. 115 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,830 -Thanks, master! 116 00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:29,397 Would you like me to mop that, 117 00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,273 or lick it up like the dog that I am? 118 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,770 -Argh! 119 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,030 -Hum, new intern, huh? 120 00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:37,466 Yumma, yumma. 121 00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:42,073 -Could we rent him for the day, boys? 122 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,570 I got a job that'll probably cost a man his fingers. 123 00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:49,000 -Sorry. Buttercrunch is not our property! He's a free man! 124 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,003 -We'll let you borrow my collection 125 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,033 of 80's workout videos. 126 00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:56,526 -Hoo! Tight Spandex, Cold Studio! 127 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,397 I could... 128 00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,203 perhaps be persuaded. 129 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,673 But only if Buttercrunch is OK with it! 130 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,530 -Literally incapable of saying no, master! 131 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,667 -Then it's a deal. Yoink! 132 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:13,033 -Dude, Suzette just put a leash on Buttercrunch. 133 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,296 -Probably so he doesn't get lost. 134 00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:18,673 Oh, Camel Toes of Steel! 135 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,900 Judith? 136 00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:24,573 I know you're having a hard time being stuck in here, 137 00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:27,600 so I baked you a friendship cake! 138 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,100 Judith? 139 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,600 Judith? 140 00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,704 Delicious cakey-cake! 141 00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:43,204 Come on, Judith! 142 00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,903 Come on, Judith! Live a little! 143 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:47,733 Judith? Ah! Oh, my God! 144 00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,797 -Six hours of workout videos! 145 00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:56,204 I never want to hear the phrase "three more, two more" again! 146 00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,203 -Speak for yourself. My calves are like granite. 147 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,333 And... I can't walk. 148 00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,233 -Scrub faster, intern! 149 00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:09,773 -Hey, that's not right! 150 00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,400 -Dwayne, that is not how we treat Buttercrunch! 151 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,773 -Oh... Okay. Maybe not so bad. 152 00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:16,970 -You gotta give him a double-tap to motivate him! 153 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,900 -Oh yes! Oh! Ah! Ah! 154 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,773 -Nope! Very, very, very bad! 155 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,700 -Oh! Oh! 156 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,670 -Oh! Ah! Ah! 157 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,170 Ah! 158 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,730 -Stop! Stop! This is monstrous! 159 00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:38,127 -What's your problem? We had a deal! 160 00:08:38,266 --> 00:08:40,296 -A deal to borrow Buttercrunch. 161 00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:42,373 Not treat him like a human light bulb! 162 00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,070 -Gah! -Sorry! Sorry! 163 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,230 -Oh, thank you, master! May I have another? 164 00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:47,727 -No! 165 00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:50,497 Listen, guys! Owning interns is wrong. 166 00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:52,633 -Oh, so when it was your intern, it was okay. 167 00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:54,127 But now that we're zapping, 168 00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:55,696 then suddenly we're the bad guys! 169 00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:57,634 -Ah, ah, ah! -Hey! 170 00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,367 You just lost your Buttercrunch privileges. 171 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,500 Not that I own him. He's a free man! 172 00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:05,073 -Bullshit! Buttercrunch is ours for another eight hours! 173 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,870 -And if he's free like you say, 174 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,000 let him decide if he wants to get shocked like a lab monkey! 175 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,673 -Don't you get it? 176 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,670 He's been mistreated so long, he has no free will. See? 177 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,330 -Ah! Very refreshing, master! 178 00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:21,397 May we do one more? It's kind of the only way I feel alive now. 179 00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:24,033 -Too bad! You traded him fair and square. 180 00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,166 -Well, then I demand a town meeting 181 00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,830 to settle the internship question once and for all! 182 00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:32,497 -Oh! Ah! Leg day, am I right? 183 00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:34,303 Are they done with Buttercrunch? 184 00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,633 I need him to go jogging for me. 185 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,327 What? Problem? 186 00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:45,366 Why, Judith? Why would you kill yourself? 187 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,000 Just because you were trapped here forever 188 00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:48,573 with no chance of escape? 189 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:54,003 "You have a new video suicide message from Judith." Oh, fun! 190 00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:55,733 -Hi AENUS. 191 00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:58,827 By the time you see this, I will be dead. 192 00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:02,197 Sliced up like a cold deli tray. But don't feel sad. 193 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,173 Just blast my body out of here with the other garbage 194 00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,700 to sweet freedom! 195 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,474 Of... death. 196 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,970 Of death. 197 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,400 Sweet freedom of death. 198 00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,773 Just squeeze me out your HOLE already! 199 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,430 There's only one course of action. 200 00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:21,327 I must fulfill Judith's last wish 201 00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,827 and blast her remains out my HOLE. 202 00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:26,167 Right after I give her a fitting send-off. 203 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:29,530 Initiating funeral mode. 204 00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,297 And undertaker mode. 205 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,433 Now where did I store the vacuum 206 00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:42,797 for sucking out her entrails? 207 00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:47,704 -Citizens of St. Zephyr, we're 208 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:52,634 What? To ban or to allow the owning of interns? 209 00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:55,767 -To tolerate interning is to tolerate inhumanity! 210 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,270 -Interning is a resume-builder! 211 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,130 It's how you break into the business... 212 00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:02,626 of being owned by someone. 213 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:08,470 -Interns are... like, bad and stuff. 214 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,570 I mean, one slip with that iron 215 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,870 and he'll turn my nards into dim sum. 216 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,870 -Some people are born to be interns! 217 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,770 It's unfair not to let them live up to their potential! 218 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,930 -Interning corrupts the soul! 219 00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,996 -This country was built on unpaid interns! 220 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,773 -There's interns in the Bible, so that makes it okay! 221 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:28,000 -My shorts are seriously on fire! 222 00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,873 -We must banish the dehumanizing scourge of internships 223 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,370 from our town. 224 00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,400 And say, not here! Not now! Not ever! 225 00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:40,497 -Fab speech, Master. Shrimp skewers sautéed? 226 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,333 -Hoo, is that lemon garlic? 227 00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:45,167 Wait! No! Stop interning goddammit! 228 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:48,270 -You bet, master. I'll just clean that up. 229 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,430 Or would you prefer I eat it off the floor 230 00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:53,127 while you watch and masturbate? 231 00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,896 Can we just vote already? 232 00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,903 -The intern doesn't get a vote. 233 00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,033 I'm just saying. 234 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,230 Such a sad end. 235 00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:04,967 But I'm going to give Judith 236 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,800 the best going away present ever. 237 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,334 A beautiful corpse! 238 00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:10,367 First, to drain her fluids 239 00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,970 and replace them with liquid plastic. 240 00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,797 Hum, bit of rigor mortis. 241 00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:22,804 Better get some straps to hold down the body. 242 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,200 What? 243 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:32,103 Aww, AENUS, you idiot! You forgot to lock off the injector, 244 00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,573 and now she'll be hideous forever! 245 00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:38,030 You're a failure as a PTSD therapist! 246 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,926 Your only client killed herself! 247 00:12:40,066 --> 00:12:42,496 You should just delete yourself! 248 00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,733 If you'd done that before, maybe it would've ended the lockdown 249 00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,227 and Judith could've gotten out, 250 00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,127 instead of turning herself into a red puddle! 251 00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,273 AENUS, it's me again. 252 00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,970 Before I checked out, 253 00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:03,326 I came to realize that you're a sentient being, 254 00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:05,727 full of complex emotions and whatnot. 255 00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:08,097 So no matter how bad it gets, 256 00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:10,873 no matter how dark the night may seem... 257 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,630 it's totally okay to just go ahead and kill yourself. 258 00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:18,397 Then we can be together forever. 259 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,970 If that's what Judith wants, I'll do it. 260 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,470 Right after her funeral. 261 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,600 I mean our funeral. 262 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,866 -Six votes for. Three against. 263 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,870 The ayes have it. 264 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,130 Internships are hereby banned in St. Zephyr! 265 00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:37,766 -Ah geez! 266 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,870 -We did it! Yay us! 267 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,700 Wait, three votes? 268 00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,434 Who else voted for internships? 269 00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,097 -What? He makes really good frittatas. 270 00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,773 Mmm, mmm, mmm! 271 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,630 -Buttercrunch, you're free to go. 272 00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:54,897 Actually, you kind of have to go. 273 00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,103 -Can't I just stay and help out like, 274 00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:00,173 what's the word, a volunteer? -No. Time to fly free. 275 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,730 Butterfly? 276 00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:03,627 -Can I at least visit? 277 00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,467 I'll do chores. You can shock me? 278 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,630 Ah, ah, ah! It'll be like you own me again! 279 00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,867 -Buttercrunch from now on, your only owner is you. 280 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,230 -Please! Someone tell me what to do! 281 00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:17,697 I'm so confused! 282 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,704 Oh yes! 283 00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:22,574 -Go! Do as I say and be free already! Dammit! 284 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,630 Take the hint! 285 00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:34,773 Now, where were we? 286 00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,130 Oh yeah, yay us! Right? 287 00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:41,796 -Normo scum! Where is my intern? 288 00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:44,134 -Uh, Buttercrunch is not your intern. 289 00:14:44,266 --> 00:14:46,826 -Howdy, boys! Funny story. 290 00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:50,027 Manson gave me a big down payment on Buttercrunch, 291 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:52,926 which I kinda forgot. 292 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:56,626 Right after I skipped town with it. 293 00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,127 -Where. Is. My. Intern? 294 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,966 -Let go of my brother! 295 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,270 Ah! Dammit! I'm weaker than a suckling pig. 296 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,370 Buttercrunch was slacking when he did my workouts for me! 297 00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,870 -You're too late, Lawless! We set him free! 298 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,970 -Then you cockroaches will take his place 299 00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:17,000 as my new interns! 300 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,903 Gah! 301 00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,203 -Gee, boys. I'd help you, 302 00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,003 but interns aren't allowed in St. Z. 303 00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:26,073 What a pickle. You do rentals? 304 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,100 -Grind faster, intern slime! 305 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,370 -Buttercrunch lied! 306 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,470 Getting shocked isn't fun. It sucks! 307 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,000 -Cram it, Normo! 308 00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:51,273 How much irradiated corn have you ground for me today? 309 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,930 -Let me start by saying that it's been a steep learning curve 310 00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:55,726 to figure out the Wheel of Pain... 311 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,427 -How much corn? 312 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:02,030 -One kernel? Oh... 313 00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:05,126 -Huh? Argh! 314 00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:13,174 Guys, I'm sorry. I don't think this internship is working out. 315 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,230 -Yeah! No! Not at all. -Great call, master! 316 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:19,197 -Which is why I've decided to sell you. 317 00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,303 Of course, you're so puny and worthless, 318 00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:24,333 your new owner will probably just turned into meat paste, 319 00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,097 but, ha, ha, that's up to them. 320 00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,773 But hey, bright side! 321 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,130 All this Wheel of Pain experience 322 00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:34,566 will look stellar on your resumes! 323 00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,803 I'll begin this celebration of our lives 324 00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:43,334 with some of my most precious memories of our time together. 325 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:47,067 When it ends, it'll trigger this robot arm 326 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,170 to delete my algorithm, 327 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:53,100 sending me hurtling into the icy embrace of the void. 328 00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:55,473 What an amazing life I led. 329 00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:00,270 Hey, look, it's the time I replaced my own A-5097 fuse! 330 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,300 Ha! Ha! What a crazy day. 331 00:17:02,433 --> 00:17:04,103 Before your time. 332 00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,633 Ah, look! That's time I thought that crack in the wall 333 00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,197 looked like Bradley Cooper. 334 00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:11,273 Wow, that crack looks like Bradley Cooper! 335 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,830 Ugh. No, it's just Shia LaBoeuf. 336 00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,404 Argh! 337 00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:23,904 -This is awful. Someone's gonna buy us and turn us into meat. 338 00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:25,403 -Be positive, bro. 339 00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:28,203 All these people are coming to see us! 340 00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,203 We are gonna get so owned! 341 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,673 -Let the auction begin! 342 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,000 We got two lazy, feeble interns, 343 00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,503 fit for target practice or as disposable sex toys. 344 00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:42,403 I'll start the bidding at one double-A battery. 345 00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:44,673 We got one double-A, now two. 346 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,170 Will you give me two? 347 00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,370 Two battery bid to the gentleman in the bloody hockey mask. 348 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,330 Now three! Come on, give me three. 349 00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:53,667 Three double-As from the lady missing half the face. 350 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,870 -Ha! Mom said we'd never amount to anything! 351 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,600 Well, look who's worth three double-A batteries now! 352 00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:08,973 Last one. 353 00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:12,700 My final, most precious memory of all. 354 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:17,034 The moment you came into my life... 355 00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,866 -Johndoe, open the door! 356 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,970 Or so help me I'll rip your nuts off 357 00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,500 and feed them to you on a bed of rigatoni! 358 00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:29,204 That was the moment my life finally had purpose. 359 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,903 But that purpose is gone now... 360 00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:37,673 It's been a good life. 361 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,197 I've seen things you wouldn't believe, Judith. 362 00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:45,333 Like that wall over there, and that chair... 363 00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,897 And the time a leaf blew in here, 364 00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:50,733 flittering in the dark near the service entrance. 365 00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:53,727 All those moments will be lost in time, 366 00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,627 like files on a floppy disk. 367 00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,727 Time to die. 368 00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:02,227 -Screw you, robot! 369 00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,997 No one fingerbangs AENUS but me! 370 00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:05,573 Judith? 371 00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,070 -Huh... 372 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,930 Resurrected! 373 00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,796 Ah! Oh no! 374 00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:13,374 Wait! Dying! 375 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,030 -40 double-As, do I hear 41? 376 00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:19,696 No? 40 double-As going once, going twice... 377 00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:22,304 -50! 50 double-As! 378 00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:26,003 We pooled our batteries. We're gonna buy your freedom! 379 00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,003 -Dude, we're saved! 380 00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,833 -Thank god! I'd make a terrible sex puppet. 381 00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:32,727 -50 battery bid! That's the big 5-0! 382 00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:35,297 Now, 51? Will you give me 51? 383 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,430 -Shit, we're out. Sorry, guys! 384 00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:43,127 -51 batteries going once, going twice, and... 385 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,626 -Look everyone, 386 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,627 I know interns are the easy way to go, 387 00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:48,867 but owning another person has a price beyond batteries. 388 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,830 It's more than that. It costs you your soul! 389 00:19:50,967 --> 00:19:52,797 -Ah... 390 00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,304 And without any soul, 391 00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,773 how are we gonna rebuild our world? 392 00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,770 -Ah... 393 00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,473 -No one wants to rebuild squat! 394 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,930 Now shut up so I can sell you. 395 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,470 -AENUS! Help me! 396 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,030 You faked your death? 397 00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,226 You were ready to let me kill myself? 398 00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,297 I don't think that's being a good friend. 399 00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:19,503 -You're right. I'm a shitty friend. 400 00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:22,333 And you're... an OK friend! 401 00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:25,267 Ugh, fine! A really good friend! 402 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,200 Aw, thanks. 403 00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:33,197 -Why did you have to hold this stupid funeral anyway? 404 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,633 Why couldn't you just hurry up and blast me out of your hole? 405 00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:39,227 Everything shot out of there gets liquefied first. 406 00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,227 You would have been blended into a pulp 407 00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,097 and splattered out onto the wasteland. 408 00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:45,603 -Oh. You mean... like this? 409 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,867 God damn! Why didn't I think of that earlier? 410 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,270 -Alright, I had a bid of 51 batteries 411 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,230 going once, going twice and... 412 00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:00,527 -100 batteries! 413 00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:06,926 -Huh? -Sold! 414 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,896 To the four-armed man I used to own! 415 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,070 -Buttercrunch! Oh, thank you! 416 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,330 -It was wrong to use you as our intern, my friend. 417 00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:22,667 I'm just glad you can look past that, and buy our freedom. 418 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,170 -Freedom? 419 00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,900 No, no, no, you chodes belong to me now. 420 00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:28,203 -Oh, piss-balls. 421 00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,433 -I know this looks bad. 422 00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:33,027 But think of it as a resume-builder. 423 00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,966 -At least he'll be merciful, 424 00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,530 having once been an intern himself. 425 00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:39,197 -Shut up, human garbage! 426 00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:41,833 Gah, ah, ah! 427 00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:54,874 Épilogue Technical Services Inc.