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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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What is that?
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Blood?
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What is that box?
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"Do not open"?
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Holy fuck, it smells!
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What?
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Fuck, where are the lights?
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00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:03,731
Welcome back.
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Pretty,
pretty thing.
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All innocent in white.
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Don't you wish to join the
creatures of the night?
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They say you should be good,
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and they tie you up in rules,
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but your mommy didn't have
you by being a good girl.
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Ignore that.
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Thou shalt not.
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It only leads to
torture and war.
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Embrace what thou wills,
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and discover yourself and more.
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So, break the bones and dance.
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00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:15,529
Just follow your
heart's desires.
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Let your passions
blow wild and free,
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and set the world on fire!
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This is my moment.
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Looking good!
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Fire!
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What the hell are
you doing in here?
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This is the coroner report
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of county coroner Michael Smith.
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Patient is a white male,
approximately 46 years old.
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No apparent signs
of strangulation.
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Toxicity report
came back negative.
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Organ analysis shows no sign
of other interior disease,
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and there did not appear to be
any outward sign of struggle.
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According to
the police report,
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the patient was found on
the living room floor,
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and there were no
signs of forced entry.
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In my professional opinion,
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this patient died
of natural causes.
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And that's all anyone's
ever gonna know.
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Jenny, I need to talk to you!
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Leave me the fuck alone.
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- No, it's important!
- Leave me alone, weirdo.
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Reports
of pets in the area
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going missing in the night.
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Locals authorities
suggest, if you have a pet-
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Good night, dad.
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Good night, pudding.
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Gotcha!
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Ah, perfect.
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There, there, child.
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Hi, we're back.
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We had such a lovely
time at the park.
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It's a pity you missed it.
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Who's we?
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Huh?
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Huh?
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What the?
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Oh my God.
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Sit down!
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Sit down, sit down!
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Shut up, shut
up, hand it over!
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What?
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What do you think?
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Let go and hand it over, now!
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What makes you think
I won't use this?
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It's not that easy to kill
someone with that thing.
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Certainly not the first one.
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You can have your
finger on that trigger,
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and your finger is
squeezing real hard like,
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but then, your finger
and your brain,
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that all-important
connection, then-
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Oh my God, oh my God!
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Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, oh no!
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Do you confess to the
murder of Amber Smith?
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Yes.
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Did you know the
victim personally?
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No.
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Then why did you do it?
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It's the blood.
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It's all about the blood, man.
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Do you want to
know if they're mine?
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I'll tell you what you
really want to know.
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You want to know
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how long it took for me to
drain the blood from their body.
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You want to know.
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All the juicy, gory details,
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like how I ripped
out their hearts.
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Don't tell me what I did.
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I'll tell you what I did.
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That's how this goes.
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I'm the only one that knows.
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Me!
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No one else!
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No one else.
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Do you want to know their names?
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Well, then fetch me my hat.
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This isn't a discussion!
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Get me
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my hat!
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Hat.
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Fucking bitch.
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I hope you don't
have any kids.
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My savior!
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Oh, honey.
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Hey.
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Hey, have you
seen Dan anywhere?
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No, I haven't.
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Oh, he's always late.
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Do you know where my purse is?
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Uh, yeah, inside
the bedroom, I think.
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Emily.
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Open the door!
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Open the door!
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There's someone in here!
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Open the door, please!
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Open the door!
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Open it, please,
there's someone in here!
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Open the door!
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Hey, what's going on?
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I just heard screaming.
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It's just a Halloween prank.
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Oh.
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Yeah, Dan's inside,
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scaring her with some
stupid mask or something.
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Oh.
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What?
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- Dan?
- Hey.
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Sorry I'm late.
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Where's Emily?
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Shit.
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Get off my lawn, you
man bun wearing assholes!
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Man buns, be a real
man and grow a beard!
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You're a fucking scumbag,
so I need the money now.
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All right, I got it.
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Yeah, it won't be a problem.
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Oh, I'm dead.
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Do you agree? He does agree.
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What the fuck was that?
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If you're buying street drugs,
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watch out for the mushrooms
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that have the little
red dots on them.
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I know I'm tripping balls.
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Die, die, die!
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You want some more?
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Die, die, die, die!
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You want some more?
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A truly great
thing he has done.
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Hello, Karl. Remember me?
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Picture the face.
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Yeah, you remember.
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It's not a very good thing
when you laugh in my face.
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Fuck off, whatever.
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It brings me to this
horrible boiling point,
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and I just erupt.
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It makes me very, very angry.
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Really?
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I know where this
fuck-up of a man
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that I'm starting at,
right before me, lives,
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and I will come for you, Karl.
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You ain't coming here.
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You will really,
really regret the day
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that you ever laughed
in my fucking face.
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Where the fuck are you?
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This ain't real.
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This ain't real.
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It's happening.
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No, no, no!
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Come on, no, no!
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No, no, leave me alone!
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What do you want? No!
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Oh, baby!
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Hey, baby, do you
want to get kinky?
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Fuck yeah!
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The safe word is "muffin lived".
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Muffin, oh...
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Okay, strike that
from the record.
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You like that?
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All right, yeah.
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What are you doing, honey?
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Oh, shit, muffin, muffin lived,
muffin lived, muffin lived!
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Okay.
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I don't want to
get kinky anymore.
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Don't touch the coin.
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Put it back.
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Stay out. Stay out.
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Stay out!
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Stay out!
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Get out.
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00:48:23,203 --> 00:48:24,739
Get out. Stay out.
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Leave the woods.
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Don't touch the coin, run!
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00:48:28,342 --> 00:48:29,176
Get out!
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00:48:30,344 --> 00:48:31,513
Get out, get out!
196
00:48:31,546 --> 00:48:33,213
Run, don't touch the coin!
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00:48:33,247 --> 00:48:35,517
Stay out, stay out!
198
00:48:35,550 --> 00:48:36,350
Run.
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Help me.
200
00:48:45,693 --> 00:48:50,698
Help me.
201
00:53:55,368 --> 00:53:56,838
She's beautiful,
202
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And she was beautiful
when she died 300 years ago.
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Well, hold the stake
above her heart,
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and I will end her unholy-
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- Whoa, whoa, when do I
get to use the mallet?
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00:54:09,784 --> 00:54:10,918
What?
207
00:54:10,952 --> 00:54:12,186
Well, it's just, you know,
208
00:54:12,220 --> 00:54:13,721
I'm always stuck
holding the stake,
209
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and let's be honest, your aim
isn't as good as it used to.
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One mistake, once!
211
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How am I ever going to learn
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if you won't give me a chance?
213
00:54:21,261 --> 00:54:25,365
Oh, so now you're the
master vampire hunter.
214
00:54:25,398 --> 00:54:26,634
Is that it?
215
00:54:26,667 --> 00:54:29,137
Old Man Herdenburg can't
cut the mustard anymore.
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00:54:29,170 --> 00:54:30,270
Is that what people are saying?
217
00:54:30,303 --> 00:54:32,372
Sir, I meant no disrespect.
218
00:54:33,608 --> 00:54:37,245
No, it is I who
should apologize.
219
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You serve me faithfully
and well these many years.
220
00:54:39,981 --> 00:54:41,281
You've earned it.
221
00:54:41,314 --> 00:54:43,551
To you goes the
honor of the kill.
222
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Oh, where did she go?
223
00:55:27,295 --> 00:55:29,063
Oh, where did she go?
224
00:55:35,269 --> 00:55:36,304
Jeez.
225
00:55:36,336 --> 00:55:37,271
Cut.
226
00:55:37,305 --> 00:55:38,338
Ah!
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01:07:57,058 --> 01:08:02,058
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull