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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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NARRATOR: Once upon a time,
in a faraway land,
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there was a lowly mouse,
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who dreamed of being the greatest knight
in all the kingdom.
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(FANFARE PLAYS)
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Good citizens, today,
we honor Sir Mortimer.
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Sir Mortimer's my own personal hero.
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One day, I'm gonna be a knight
just like him.
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CROWD: Shh!
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For saving the kingdom
from the fearsome fire-breathing dragon,
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I award you the Medal of Courage.
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-(CROWD CHEERS)
-Booyah!
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Yes, being a brave dragon-slaying knight
is a dangerous business.
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Just ask my former squire.
He certainly couldn't stand the heat.
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But his misfortune is your opportunity.
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Who among you have the right stuff
to be my new squire?
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(STAMMERS)
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-I...
-Here. I'll be your squire.
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No. I'll be your squire.
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Pick me! Pick me!
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(CHANTS) Mortimer! Mortimer!
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Hmm.
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Woo-hoo!
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-(SNAPS)
-Perfect.
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-(BOTH CRY)
-(MICKEY LAUGHS)
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NARRATOR: And so, the young lad's dreams
seemed closer than ever.
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One day,
I hope to be a great knight like you.
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Brave and bold and chivalrous.
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-You're so chivalrous!
-Yeah, whatever, kid.
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Huh? Whoa!
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-(TROLL GROWLS)
-(VILLAGERS SCREAM)
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SIR MORTIMER: Looks like there's
some troll trouble ahead.
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-Oh, my. He's a big fella.
-Your sword, My Lord.
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Whoa, hey, wait, uh, pump the brakes, kid!
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To be a knight, the first thing
you have to learn is, how to use strategy.
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Knight lessons.
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What we need is a distraction,
that would be you,
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to get the troll's attention.
Then I'll swoop in and smite him.
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So, do I get a weapon?
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Uh... Yeah. Uh, um...
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Here. I bestow unto thee,
this, um, wooden spoon.
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Wooden spoon?
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-Distraction!
-(TROLL GROWLS)
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Come and get me, you big meanie!
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-Huh?
-(SHUDDERS)
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-(TROLL GROWLS)
-Wow. No, no, no, no, no!
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Ah. Oh, hey! Go away, tongue. (YELPS)
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Whoa! (GRUNTS)
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-Huh? (YELPS)
-(TROLL GROWLS)
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(SCREAMS)
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(GRUNTS)
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Oh, whoa! (YELPS)
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Sir Mortimer has vanquished the beast!
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(VILLAGERS CHEER)
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NARRATOR:
Sir Mortimer had saved the day.
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But the little squire was unsure
of what the knight had actually done.
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(CLAMORING)
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NARRATOR: Still, the kingdom
was filled with dangers,
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and the knight's talents
were needed again.
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You distract them
and I'll swoop in and save the day!
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Okay. Uh...
You are gonna swoop in, though, right?
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-On my honor as a knight.
-Then you can count on me.
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Have at thee, foul fiends.
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-(CRASHING)
-(MICKEY GRUNTING)
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-Distraction, distraction, distraction!
-Ah!
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(YELLING)
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(YELLING GIBBERISH)
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(SCREAMING)
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Foul fiends,
Sir Mortimer has vanquished thee.
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What the heck?
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NARRATOR:
The more adventures they had,
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the more the squire realized
that he did all the work,
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while Sir Mortimer took all the credit.
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Soon, the poor little squire
became disillusioned.
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(CHUCKLES) Ye olde village noticeboard.
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-(CRASHING)
-(CAT YOWLING)
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Now, how should I spread my glory today?
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Hm. An ogre? No. Giant? No.
Ooh, the plague's in town.
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-Problem, pal?
-Yeah!
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You're supposed to be the greatest knight
in the kingdom, honorable and brave,
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but you don't actually do anything.
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Look, kid,
squires like you are a dime a dozen.
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You wanna be a knight like me,
then you suck it up and do as I say.
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Well, if being a knight
means being like you...
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then I don't wanna be a knight!
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(BLUBBERS)
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All I ever dreamt of was being a knight.
Goodbye, dream.
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(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
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MICKEY: A dragon?
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Queen Minnie. The kingdom!
They're in trouble!
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So, I looked him straight in the eye
and then, I smite-ted him.
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And yet, your armor's still shiny
and clean.
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-Hm? A dragon!
-(CUP CRASHING)
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Oh, thank goodness you're... here.
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-Help! Sir Mortimer, your queen needs you!
-Gangway!
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-Out of my way, squire.
-But you're a knight!
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-You're supposed to protect the Queen!
-No, I'm a coward. And I don't wanna die.
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(MICKEY GRUNTS)
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(ROARS)
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Charge!
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(SQUAWKS)
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Raise the drawbridge!
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(SCREAMS)
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(ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
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(DINGS)
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(GROWLS, GULPS)
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(GROWLS, ROARS)
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(WHEEZES)
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(COUGHS, WHEEZES)
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Oh, no. (WHIMPERS)
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-(VILLAGERS CHEERING)
-And stay out! Sir Mortimer has...
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-Hip, hip, hooray!
-Hip, hip, hooray!
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(SMOOCHES)
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NARRATOR: And so, the brave little squire
was knighted by Queen Minnie.
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Mortimer was revealed
for the fraud he was.
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And Mickey's dream came true,
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as he became the greatest knight
that ever lived.
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The end.
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(MUSIC PLAYING)