1 00:00:19,242 --> 00:00:24,242 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull M_I_SForEver 2 00:00:29,150 --> 00:00:30,942 [sirens blaring] 3 00:00:39,650 --> 00:00:41,858 [thunder rumbling] 4 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:17,233 [tablet chimes] 5 00:01:17,317 --> 00:01:18,608 Before you say anything, I'm not your brother. 6 00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:19,775 I'm your half-brother. 7 00:01:19,858 --> 00:01:21,108 What was that? 8 00:01:21,192 --> 00:01:23,108 Why would you begin a conversation like that? 9 00:01:23,192 --> 00:01:25,150 Because you are about to ask me for money, 10 00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:26,817 and when I always say, "Why should I give you money?" 11 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:29,567 you always say, "Because I am your brother," 12 00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:31,358 and I never point out you are my half-brother. 13 00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:33,358 I never say it. But things happening around here lately... 14 00:01:33,442 --> 00:01:36,192 Hi, Paxton. How are your erratic head movements? 15 00:01:36,275 --> 00:01:37,817 I ask because I read an article. 16 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,275 Yeah, they're under control. 17 00:01:40,358 --> 00:01:44,150 How's the, uh, cement art work? 18 00:01:44,233 --> 00:01:47,358 She just sold a piece for $50,000. 19 00:01:47,442 --> 00:01:48,650 A frozen waterfall. 20 00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:50,483 It felt appropriate for the times. 21 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,483 How is it appropriate for the times? 22 00:01:52,567 --> 00:01:53,983 You know what? It doesn't matter. 23 00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:56,608 I was actually calling to see how you were. 24 00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:58,358 'Cause I heard it's bad in New York. 25 00:01:58,442 --> 00:02:01,483 It is bad. They canceled the NBA. 26 00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:04,567 We heard London's under total lockdown. 27 00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,233 I've been furloughed by the way. 28 00:02:07,317 --> 00:02:08,817 - [David] That's great! - Yeah. 29 00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:11,525 Now there is literally zero purpose to my life. 30 00:02:12,442 --> 00:02:13,900 How is Linda? 31 00:02:13,983 --> 00:02:18,067 Yeah, she's somewhere in the house. 32 00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:19,858 Is there some type of issue? 33 00:02:19,942 --> 00:02:22,692 Is there an issue? Let me see. 34 00:02:22,775 --> 00:02:25,150 Convenient lie to avoid forensic examination 35 00:02:25,233 --> 00:02:27,400 of our domestic circumstances or tell the truth? 36 00:02:27,483 --> 00:02:28,775 Okay, convenient lie. 37 00:02:28,858 --> 00:02:31,650 No. There is no issue. We are fine. 38 00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,067 Can you tell her I'm gonna Skype her? 39 00:02:33,150 --> 00:02:34,983 Also, David, I've sold my motorbike. 40 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,192 You've what? 41 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:37,525 Yeah, I have a buyer. He'll pay me 42 00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:39,025 when we are all unlocked 43 00:02:39,108 --> 00:02:42,275 from this fucking prison of psychological hell-chains. 44 00:02:42,358 --> 00:02:44,525 Fucking flames of burning aloneness. 45 00:02:44,608 --> 00:02:46,400 The screw of isolation until you can't tell 46 00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:48,983 what is your body and what is furniture. 47 00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,733 No possibility of revving the engine 48 00:02:50,817 --> 00:02:54,067 and riding away. Am I conveying anything of my mood to you? 49 00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:56,525 Why have you sold your bike? 50 00:02:56,608 --> 00:02:58,150 You are your bike. Your bike is you. 51 00:02:58,233 --> 00:03:00,192 Yeah, I have sold myself. 52 00:03:00,275 --> 00:03:03,233 I have sold my former self. 53 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,775 I felt sorry for the bike. 54 00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:07,900 It deserved someone who can do justice to its spirit. 55 00:03:07,983 --> 00:03:11,567 Someone who still breaks the fucking rules. 56 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,900 So, you and Linda, what, you had a fight? 57 00:03:13,983 --> 00:03:17,942 Linda said she was planning to end our thing, 58 00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:22,608 our relationship, our whatever this ever was, 59 00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:24,108 because we'd grown apart, 60 00:03:24,192 --> 00:03:27,025 meaning that she had gone up and I have gone down. 61 00:03:27,108 --> 00:03:29,608 She was planning to end it before lockdown was announced. 62 00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:30,942 [tablet beeping] 63 00:03:31,025 --> 00:03:34,942 ...droplets and moisture because we were shouting. 64 00:03:35,025 --> 00:03:37,150 I said some things and she said some things 65 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:39,192 and now we are stuck here together 66 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:40,692 with the things we said 67 00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:44,567 echoing around the house like fucking bells ringing. 68 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:49,400 For two weeks we are locked together here. 69 00:03:50,275 --> 00:03:52,025 [doorbell ringing] 70 00:03:52,108 --> 00:03:56,275 Anyway. Truth be told, I just wanted to hear someone's voice. 71 00:03:56,358 --> 00:03:59,525 - And you chose us? - Yeah, why not? 72 00:03:59,608 --> 00:04:01,108 What happened to Mike? Your friend Mike. 73 00:04:01,192 --> 00:04:03,983 Oh, no, no. Mike and I are no longer speaking. 74 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:05,692 He crossed... My delivery! 75 00:04:05,775 --> 00:04:09,192 Crossed an important threshold when, uh, when he said that 76 00:04:09,275 --> 00:04:11,400 the COVID virus was the consequence 77 00:04:11,483 --> 00:04:15,483 of the secret release by Jews of alien DNA 78 00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:17,942 into the water sprinkling system 79 00:04:18,025 --> 00:04:20,358 of a Chinese golf resort. 80 00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:22,192 [Maria] It looks like your food has arrived, 81 00:04:22,275 --> 00:04:24,483 - so we'll let you go. - It's not food, it's a sandwich. 82 00:04:24,567 --> 00:04:26,317 Yeah, hang in, brother. 83 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,483 - Half-brother. - [Maria] Tell Linda I'm gonna call her. 84 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,150 Yeah, I'll leave her a note. Just to compound the oddness. 85 00:04:31,233 --> 00:04:32,858 [tablet beeps] 86 00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:35,525 [man on TV] The stark reality of fighting Coronavirus... 87 00:04:40,858 --> 00:04:44,067 ...Trafalgar Square in London usually crowded. 88 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,983 Evidence of social distancing in action. 89 00:04:47,067 --> 00:04:48,983 In this critically important time, 90 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:52,442 the Prime Minister Boris Johnson himself infected, 91 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,442 but been sharing... 92 00:04:53,525 --> 00:04:55,025 [muffled screaming] 93 00:04:57,442 --> 00:04:58,650 [sighs] 94 00:05:00,942 --> 00:05:02,525 [Skype ringtone] 95 00:05:14,983 --> 00:05:17,567 Maria, hey! Is everything okay? 96 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,317 Oh, yeah, yeah. Everything's great. 97 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,567 You know, we're staying strong. Yeah, we just talked to Paxton. 98 00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:25,692 Hmm. Yes, I head. Some of it. I put a pillow over my head. 99 00:05:25,775 --> 00:05:28,192 He said you had symptoms. 100 00:05:28,275 --> 00:05:31,358 It passed I think. I hope. I don't know. 101 00:05:31,442 --> 00:05:34,942 Oh, green smoothie. You must send me that recipe. 102 00:05:35,025 --> 00:05:36,567 It's not a recipe, it's an action. 103 00:05:36,650 --> 00:05:39,400 You just put the green stuff in and press the on button. 104 00:05:39,483 --> 00:05:41,192 How are things with you and Paxton? 105 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:42,442 Is everything okay? 106 00:05:43,733 --> 00:05:46,192 You know everything is not okay. 107 00:05:46,275 --> 00:05:48,067 Not only is everything not okay, 108 00:05:48,150 --> 00:05:49,525 nothing is okay. 109 00:05:49,608 --> 00:05:51,733 Everything is never okay. Even his name is not okay. 110 00:05:51,817 --> 00:05:55,275 This is him speaking. He says even his name is a predictor of doom. 111 00:05:55,358 --> 00:05:57,025 That's how he is lately. 112 00:05:58,317 --> 00:06:00,483 [sighs] He's changed so much. 113 00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,900 Oh, we all change. 114 00:06:01,983 --> 00:06:04,108 I mean, Linda, you've evolved, he's mutated. 115 00:06:04,192 --> 00:06:05,900 He needs some help. 116 00:06:05,983 --> 00:06:07,608 - I read an article... - Do you know he said the other day 117 00:06:07,692 --> 00:06:10,775 that any man over 35 who rides a bus is a failure? 118 00:06:10,858 --> 00:06:13,317 - He rides the bus every day. Or he used to. - [Maria talking indistinctly] 119 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:16,233 - He does it to torture himself. - No man is ever really fully conscious, not really. 120 00:06:16,317 --> 00:06:18,108 So, I heard he's selling his motorbike. 121 00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:19,483 That's a big step. 122 00:06:19,567 --> 00:06:21,358 Yeah, we both agreed that he needed some time, 123 00:06:21,442 --> 00:06:23,442 so he's planning on using the money from selling the bike 124 00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:25,275 to go to Kazakhstan to think about his life. 125 00:06:25,358 --> 00:06:26,942 Why Kazakhstan? 126 00:06:28,358 --> 00:06:31,817 We went on a road trip there ten years ago. 127 00:06:31,900 --> 00:06:34,108 Ten years ago? A million years ago. 128 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:37,775 Anyway, now he is stuck here, and I am stuck here. 129 00:06:37,858 --> 00:06:41,275 - Linda, is there someone else? - Nope, just me and him. 130 00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:43,692 No, I mean, like, another man. 131 00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,817 - No. - A woman? 132 00:06:46,942 --> 00:06:47,983 What? 133 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,192 I was just speculating. 134 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:53,108 Thinking about that night we came to London and you and I went too far. 135 00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:57,442 Oh, that was just weed and curiosity. 136 00:06:57,525 --> 00:06:59,483 We both had orgasms, Linda. 137 00:06:59,567 --> 00:07:01,983 You know they say these calls aren't really the most secure. 138 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,192 I think about that night sometimes. 139 00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,233 - You do? - Yeah, don't you? 140 00:07:06,317 --> 00:07:09,400 Mmm... Listen, Maria, I've been on Skype and Zoom calls all day. 141 00:07:09,483 --> 00:07:11,817 The office is locked down. I really gotta get some sleep. 142 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,567 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 143 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,525 - I love you. - What? 144 00:07:23,525 --> 00:07:24,983 - God. - [door slams] 145 00:07:38,483 --> 00:07:40,442 Paxton, are you going somewhere? 146 00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,942 Where would I be going? 147 00:07:43,025 --> 00:07:45,358 Why is the hose in your exhaust? 148 00:07:45,442 --> 00:07:47,108 [laughing] 149 00:07:47,192 --> 00:07:48,942 I was just gonna take a selfie. 150 00:07:49,025 --> 00:07:51,025 Someone at work texted me and asked how I was 151 00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:52,275 coping with lockdown. 152 00:07:52,358 --> 00:07:53,858 So I was gonna send a photo of myself 153 00:07:53,942 --> 00:07:56,067 with the hose shoved up my helmet by way of reply. 154 00:07:56,150 --> 00:07:58,275 I thought it'd be funny. [laughs] 155 00:07:58,358 --> 00:08:00,942 An amusing expression of despair. 156 00:08:01,025 --> 00:08:03,567 You were really just gonna take a selfie? 157 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,275 Yeah, I had the phone in my hand. 158 00:08:05,358 --> 00:08:06,692 You weren't gonna start the engine? 159 00:08:06,775 --> 00:08:08,650 And go where? You can't go anywhere. 160 00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,400 I came in here and I could smell the garage and the bike. 161 00:08:15,483 --> 00:08:20,358 And the smell... it made me very sad for some reason. 162 00:08:20,442 --> 00:08:24,150 That shelf's covered in oil, you're gonna get your ass covered in oil. 163 00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:26,608 - Jesus, what a day! - Bad? 164 00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,483 No, just work. I had some bad news. 165 00:08:30,567 --> 00:08:33,192 Nothing compared to... everything. 166 00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:35,358 I really was just gonna take a selfie, by the way. 167 00:08:35,442 --> 00:08:37,817 "By the way," "just so you know," "in case you were worried." 168 00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:40,358 Just... just a little game. 169 00:08:41,775 --> 00:08:43,192 Or a rehearsal. 170 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:48,067 I'm not... Please don't think I'm looking for anything. 171 00:08:48,150 --> 00:08:50,733 You know Maria just called me and said that she loves me? 172 00:08:50,817 --> 00:08:52,067 - What? - I know. 173 00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:53,650 Secrets coming out all over the place. 174 00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,192 You got the key to get back in? 175 00:08:55,275 --> 00:08:57,608 - No. - I'll leave the door open for you. 176 00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:20,983 What's wrong? 177 00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:27,442 You playing with the hoses and exhausts 178 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,150 and we carry on as if everything was normal. 179 00:09:33,025 --> 00:09:35,192 I'm not normal lately, I know that. 180 00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:40,025 I haven't been sleeping at all. 181 00:09:41,442 --> 00:09:43,775 I've never been normal, but... 182 00:09:43,858 --> 00:09:46,025 I used to be quite proud of it. Now, I just... 183 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,942 - Just what? - I don't know. 184 00:09:49,025 --> 00:09:53,067 I'm just acutely aware of the inconvenience it causes. 185 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,858 My super analysis of every grain of sand. 186 00:09:56,525 --> 00:09:57,983 Every word. 187 00:09:59,317 --> 00:10:02,483 Being locked up is making it worse. 188 00:10:02,567 --> 00:10:04,983 We have to find some way of getting through this separately. 189 00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,942 We're only together because we're in the same house. 190 00:10:07,025 --> 00:10:11,108 We can sort of move around each other until we're free... 191 00:10:11,192 --> 00:10:13,275 - What? What is it? - Oh, nothing. [clears throat] 192 00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:15,817 Good night. 193 00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,442 It's a bit of Christmas decoration. 194 00:10:17,525 --> 00:10:19,858 It's been there since Christmas. 195 00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:21,983 My therapist says I should try to tolerate it. 196 00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,650 To use it as a test. 197 00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:25,108 Up until now, I've been able to live with it, 198 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,025 as a test to prove my progress. 199 00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,025 Well, fuck progress. 200 00:10:29,108 --> 00:10:31,233 - Why don't you take it down? - No, my therapist says... 201 00:10:31,317 --> 00:10:34,442 - Fuck the therapist. Paxton... - You almost did. 202 00:10:34,525 --> 00:10:35,983 Grow up. Take it down. 203 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,608 If it bothers you, take it down, okay? 204 00:10:37,692 --> 00:10:39,858 Christmas is not exactly a great memory anyway, is it? 205 00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:42,192 Christmas is not a great memory. I agree with you. 206 00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:45,442 Beginning of the end for us, don't you think? 207 00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,233 That was way before Christmas for me. 208 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,442 Sorry. 209 00:10:52,525 --> 00:10:54,692 Why do people think honesty is good? 210 00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,775 What are you doing about therapy anyway? 211 00:11:00,858 --> 00:11:02,608 I'm doing it on Zoom. 212 00:11:02,692 --> 00:11:05,025 - My therapist has antlers on his wall. - [laughs] 213 00:11:05,108 --> 00:11:07,233 These are extraordinary circumstances, Paxton. 214 00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,900 You can't live with a woman who has dumped you 215 00:11:08,983 --> 00:11:10,733 and a piece of tinsel on the ceiling. 216 00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:13,483 - Have we decided to laugh about all this? - Why not? 217 00:11:13,567 --> 00:11:15,067 Nothing else we can do there, is there? 218 00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,317 Do you want a chair? 219 00:11:17,317 --> 00:11:18,817 Sure. 220 00:11:22,317 --> 00:11:24,275 [grunts] 221 00:11:24,358 --> 00:11:26,483 - [Paxton chuckles] - [claps] 222 00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:28,400 Bravo. 223 00:11:28,483 --> 00:11:30,483 - Fuck! That's better. - Hang on. 224 00:11:37,358 --> 00:11:40,025 You know, when I saw you in the garage I thought... 225 00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:45,025 "Was it really me on the back of your bike all those years ago?" 226 00:11:46,525 --> 00:11:47,858 Yeah, it was you. 227 00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:51,775 Hanging on and screaming. 228 00:11:54,025 --> 00:11:55,400 Well, that's what I'm doing now. 229 00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,067 Hanging on and screaming, but you can't hear me. 230 00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,025 Nobody can. Anyway, good night. 231 00:12:00,442 --> 00:12:02,608 Screaming about what? 232 00:12:02,692 --> 00:12:06,983 What are you screaming about? I'm the one that's screaming! 233 00:12:24,358 --> 00:12:25,442 [woman] Hello, stranger! 234 00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:30,858 - [Linda] Hi. - How are you? 235 00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:34,025 [Linda] Terrible. You? 236 00:12:34,483 --> 00:12:35,608 Awful. 237 00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:43,608 [Paxton] Hello! 238 00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:47,525 Does anyone here in our lovely Portland Street prison want to hear a little poem? 239 00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,525 I read a lot of poetry 240 00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:53,858 and I've read even more lately 'cause I can't sleep. 241 00:12:53,942 --> 00:12:55,775 It's actually quite a nice way to discover 242 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:58,150 that you're not the only human being on earth who's fucked up. 243 00:12:58,233 --> 00:12:59,400 [Linda] Paxton! 244 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,483 What the fuck are you doing? 245 00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:04,775 [Paxton] I'm entertaining our fellow inmates. 246 00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:08,817 This poem is called Stand Up! 247 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,692 It's by D.H. Lawrence, by the way. 248 00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:12,733 "By the way," "just so you know," "in case you were worried." 249 00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:16,567 All right, here goes. 250 00:13:17,525 --> 00:13:20,608 "Stand up, but not for Jesus! 251 00:13:21,442 --> 00:13:23,483 It's a little late for that. 252 00:13:23,567 --> 00:13:26,025 Stand up for justice and a jolly life. 253 00:13:26,108 --> 00:13:27,650 I'll hold your hat. 254 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:32,608 Stand up, stand up for justice, ye swindled little blokes! 255 00:13:32,692 --> 00:13:37,025 Stand up and do some punching, give 'em a few hard pokes. 256 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:42,608 Stand up for a new arrangement for a chance of life all round, 257 00:13:43,817 --> 00:13:46,775 for freedom and the fun of living, 258 00:13:46,858 --> 00:13:49,275 break in, and hold the ground!" 259 00:13:50,775 --> 00:13:53,567 - [people clapping] - [chuckles] 260 00:13:54,108 --> 00:13:55,317 Thank you. 261 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,733 Sorry if I woke you. 262 00:13:57,817 --> 00:14:00,317 But I am going slightly mad lately. 263 00:14:01,442 --> 00:14:04,317 My advice to everyone 264 00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:07,067 is to use these strange times we're all going through 265 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:10,192 to steal all the things that you think life owes you. 266 00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,900 [man] Go to sleep, you bloody tosser! 267 00:14:11,983 --> 00:14:13,483 Yeah, well, if I could I would. 268 00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:15,150 [man] Hey, leave him be, mate! 269 00:14:15,233 --> 00:14:17,983 And if I come across any other good poems, I'll share it. 270 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,733 [woman] We love it! 271 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:21,108 Good night, Portland Street. 272 00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:22,525 [man] Night, night! 273 00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,025 [woman] Thank you! 274 00:14:34,483 --> 00:14:36,067 [grunts] 275 00:14:38,025 --> 00:14:41,025 God, please let me sleep. 276 00:14:43,858 --> 00:14:45,067 [glass shatters] 277 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,192 [indistinct conversation] 278 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,483 [girl] I swear to God! 279 00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:04,025 What the fuck are you doing in my garden? 280 00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:06,775 You all right? 281 00:15:06,858 --> 00:15:09,525 - We're just gathering these. - They're just poppies. 282 00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,067 They're bulbs of poppies. 283 00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,900 All the dealers in our estate have been arrested, 284 00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:16,192 because they're the only people out on the streets, innit? 285 00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:19,567 With these poppy bulbs, you can make a sort of opium. 286 00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:21,650 You just slit the skins and juice comes out. 287 00:15:22,650 --> 00:15:23,983 How did you know they were here? 288 00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:26,608 We live in that tower block up there, bro. 289 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:29,400 Friend of ours has a telescope. He's into stars and shit. 290 00:15:29,483 --> 00:15:31,650 We've been looking down on houses for a laugh. 291 00:15:31,733 --> 00:15:35,567 Looking through windows and then we saw all these growing in your garden. 292 00:15:35,650 --> 00:15:38,192 What the fuck are they all doing growing in my garden? 293 00:15:38,275 --> 00:15:41,150 [girl] I think hippies used to squat in these houses in the '70s. 294 00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:43,942 I think they grew them and they just went wild. 295 00:15:44,025 --> 00:15:45,775 How do you refine the juice? 296 00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:48,775 You don't. You just drip it onto tobacco and then smoke it. 297 00:15:48,858 --> 00:15:51,650 Or you can mix it with Coca-Cola if you want and drink it. 298 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:55,192 Yeah, well, I don't smoke anymore or drink Coca-Cola, 299 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,483 or do drugs of any kind, 300 00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:02,692 but back in the bad old days I did smoke quite a lot of heroin. 301 00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:04,275 This is not as strong as heroin. 302 00:16:04,358 --> 00:16:06,858 It's quite a gentle hit. 303 00:16:06,942 --> 00:16:08,275 - It's organic, bro. - Organic? 304 00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:09,900 Yeah. 305 00:16:09,983 --> 00:16:12,483 That would explain the hedgehog. 306 00:16:12,567 --> 00:16:17,317 [laughs] There's a hedgehog in this garden who is unusually friendly and relaxed. 307 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:27,525 Would a very small amount help you sleep, do you think? 308 00:16:27,608 --> 00:16:30,650 [boy] You sleep like a baby. Smooths everything out. 309 00:16:30,733 --> 00:16:33,775 - No mean voices in the night. - No mean voices in the night. 310 00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:37,275 That would be nice. Well, well, well. 311 00:16:44,150 --> 00:16:45,567 [snores] 312 00:16:50,775 --> 00:16:52,108 [alarm beeping] 313 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,608 [alarm beeping] 314 00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:11,150 [groans] 315 00:17:18,150 --> 00:17:19,483 Paxton! 316 00:17:22,608 --> 00:17:24,275 [groans] 317 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,692 [alarm continues beeping] 318 00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:41,483 Paxton, for fuck's sake! 319 00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:43,483 [alarm continues] 320 00:17:55,692 --> 00:17:56,817 [exhales] 321 00:18:02,858 --> 00:18:04,608 [laptop chimes] 322 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:06,192 Hey, Toby! 323 00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,983 - Hi. - Hey, how's the cough? 324 00:18:09,067 --> 00:18:11,942 A bit better I think. How are you? 325 00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,900 I had it I think, but it's passed. 326 00:18:13,983 --> 00:18:16,358 I hope. [chuckles] It's like a Valkyrie. 327 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:18,358 What? 328 00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,442 It's a Viking spirit who, before battles, decides 329 00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:22,900 who will live and who will die. 330 00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:27,983 Valkyries, uh, make their choices with no reason. 331 00:18:28,067 --> 00:18:30,733 No morality, no good or bad. 332 00:18:30,817 --> 00:18:33,650 It's just so unfair how some people get so sick and some don't. 333 00:18:33,733 --> 00:18:36,567 Toby, you're back. How are you? 334 00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,525 Gangster. Thank you. 335 00:18:38,608 --> 00:18:41,275 - Hello! - Donald! 336 00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:43,650 [laughs] You got a tie on. 337 00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:45,317 One of my father's old ones. 338 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,733 I've become nostalgic for old-fashioned formality. 339 00:18:48,817 --> 00:18:52,775 On these Zoom things, I always imagine every man has an erection. 340 00:18:52,858 --> 00:18:54,067 - Ooh! - [laughter] 341 00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,817 Donald, is that your house? 342 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,983 Uh, no. I'm at my mother's. Anthony threw me out. 343 00:19:01,942 --> 00:19:06,192 Oh! That's not allowed, is it? 344 00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:09,900 We had an awful night, and everything came out. 345 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,483 We found out we, uh, hate each other. So... 346 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:13,775 [laptop chimes] 347 00:19:13,858 --> 00:19:15,483 [Melissa] Hi! 348 00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:20,025 Uh, Melissa. Hey, how is Italy? I hear it's bad there. 349 00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,692 No, I'm in Sweden. 350 00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:24,900 - What? - Look. 351 00:19:26,108 --> 00:19:27,733 You can go to bars here. 352 00:19:27,817 --> 00:19:30,775 Hmm. Is anybody obeying the rules? 353 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,233 [vomiting] 354 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,067 [groans] 355 00:19:37,150 --> 00:19:38,192 [coughs] 356 00:19:38,983 --> 00:19:40,150 [flushing] 357 00:19:44,108 --> 00:19:47,150 After ten years sober, that was fucking smart. 358 00:19:49,817 --> 00:19:51,108 [coughs] 359 00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:53,400 Wait, who are we waiting for? 360 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:56,858 - Timothy, I think. - Oh, is Timothy okay? 361 00:19:56,942 --> 00:19:58,525 Why wouldn't he be? 362 00:19:58,608 --> 00:20:00,900 Well, he's got an underlying health condition. 363 00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:02,900 - Do you know which one? - No. 364 00:20:02,983 --> 00:20:04,400 He just seemed like a sort of person 365 00:20:04,483 --> 00:20:06,400 who would have an underlying health condition. 366 00:20:06,483 --> 00:20:08,692 Shall we just start without Timothy? 367 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:12,567 By the way, I am also wearing shoes. 368 00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:14,275 - [laughs] - [Linda] Seriously, we should start. 369 00:20:14,358 --> 00:20:17,608 I have something to say. Something important. 370 00:20:17,692 --> 00:20:19,983 - [clears throat] - [cell phone chimes] 371 00:20:20,067 --> 00:20:23,275 Oh, um, hang on. Oh, it's a message from Timothy. 372 00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:29,650 - God! - Has he got it? 373 00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,442 "Dear, Linda. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning, 374 00:20:31,525 --> 00:20:33,192 I am resigning my position at Miracore Media 375 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,817 with immediate effect. I have had time alone to think 376 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,608 and I've realized that what this company does 377 00:20:37,692 --> 00:20:39,442 is just self-indulgent media bullshit, 378 00:20:39,525 --> 00:20:42,108 supporting corrosive international capitalism around the world. 379 00:20:42,192 --> 00:20:44,692 We should be using our creativity to save the planet, 380 00:20:44,775 --> 00:20:48,275 not sell handbags to the wives of fascist dictators. 381 00:20:48,358 --> 00:20:50,942 Yours in isolation. Timothy." 382 00:20:51,025 --> 00:20:56,400 Just been watching David Attenborough documentaries, I imagine. 383 00:20:56,483 --> 00:20:57,692 Did he snap? 384 00:20:57,775 --> 00:20:59,567 Okay, so there's no need to wait for Timothy. 385 00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,692 Let's get this done. 386 00:21:01,775 --> 00:21:03,650 Sounds awfully grave, Linda. 387 00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:06,650 - [kid] Daddy, Daddy. - Shh. Daddy's on a call. 388 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,233 [indistinct talking] 389 00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:14,108 Yesterday, I had a very long Zoom call with head office in Chicago. 390 00:21:14,192 --> 00:21:16,817 All continents were represented. 391 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,775 And it seems that all over the world 392 00:21:18,858 --> 00:21:21,983 the company is facing the same issues at this difficult time. 393 00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:25,358 As CEO of Miracore UK, it is my... 394 00:21:27,067 --> 00:21:29,483 unfortunate duty to let you know 395 00:21:29,567 --> 00:21:33,192 that there will be some furloughing of employees across the board. 396 00:21:34,608 --> 00:21:36,858 And also a number of compulsory redundancies 397 00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,608 effective from today. 398 00:21:39,692 --> 00:21:46,817 I assume the Inuit system of leaving the old on the ice will be in play. 399 00:21:46,900 --> 00:21:49,775 Donald, please don't jump to conclusions. 400 00:21:49,858 --> 00:21:51,650 Linda, what do you mean? 401 00:21:51,733 --> 00:21:54,442 Uh, in normal times, I would've gathered everyone into a room... 402 00:21:54,525 --> 00:21:56,442 [Natasha] Everyone? 403 00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:58,650 [Toby shushing] 404 00:22:00,775 --> 00:22:02,692 Everyone on this Zoom call is on this call 405 00:22:02,775 --> 00:22:05,317 because all of your positions have been deemed no longer sustainable, 406 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:09,150 and as of today your contracts of employment with Miracore will be terminated. 407 00:22:12,775 --> 00:22:13,775 Okay. 408 00:22:13,858 --> 00:22:15,692 I'm glad I'm home. 409 00:22:15,775 --> 00:22:17,775 I'm going to feed the fucking chickens. 410 00:22:19,317 --> 00:22:21,983 This is really bad, Linda. How do you sleep? 411 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,733 [kid] Hello! 412 00:22:25,983 --> 00:22:27,900 [softly] Hello. 413 00:22:27,983 --> 00:22:30,233 [kid] Look at my dinosaur. 414 00:22:35,108 --> 00:22:36,692 Daddy... 415 00:22:37,692 --> 00:22:39,192 Malcolm, I thought being furloughed 416 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,067 meant that the government pays your wages, 417 00:22:41,150 --> 00:22:42,525 but you don't do any work. 418 00:22:42,608 --> 00:22:44,108 [Malcolm] Yeah, it does, it does, it does. 419 00:22:44,192 --> 00:22:45,525 But COVID makes everything different. 420 00:22:45,608 --> 00:22:47,442 So sad. So sad. 421 00:22:47,525 --> 00:22:51,108 All of this is impacting on everyone in my pastoral care. 422 00:22:51,192 --> 00:22:53,400 Yeah, but I'm not in your pastoral care, right? 423 00:22:53,483 --> 00:22:54,983 I work for you. 424 00:22:55,067 --> 00:22:56,567 And all I wanna know is, 425 00:22:56,650 --> 00:22:59,192 if I am furloughed, why are you asking me to work? 426 00:22:59,275 --> 00:23:00,317 It's illegal, isn't it? 427 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:01,525 I'm a Christian man. 428 00:23:01,608 --> 00:23:03,400 We all know that you are a Christian man. 429 00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,317 You say it like I ram it down your throats. 430 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,192 I do not ram it down your fucking throat. 431 00:23:07,275 --> 00:23:10,192 Malcolm, just tell me, what is it that you want me to do? 432 00:23:10,275 --> 00:23:11,858 We have a situation, Paxton. 433 00:23:11,942 --> 00:23:14,025 Yeah, I'm leaving this call unless you tell me. 434 00:23:14,108 --> 00:23:15,317 I sat through your prayer. 435 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,108 I begin every FaceTime with a prayer. 436 00:23:17,192 --> 00:23:19,108 My choice. Right? I'm the boss. 437 00:23:19,192 --> 00:23:22,442 Yeah, you are the boss. So what do you want me to do, boss? 438 00:23:22,525 --> 00:23:25,775 Due to lockdown, all the major department stores in the West End are closing. 439 00:23:25,858 --> 00:23:28,650 B2B Pro Freight Services are among several freight companies 440 00:23:28,733 --> 00:23:33,650 which have been asked to transport valuable retail items from the West End outlets 441 00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:37,483 to secure storage facilities in shitholes like Dagenham. 442 00:23:37,567 --> 00:23:41,025 The fabric, Paxton, of our society is torn, you see that. 443 00:23:41,108 --> 00:23:45,358 Fears of rioting and looting. Pestilence. Apocalyptic words. 444 00:23:45,442 --> 00:23:48,192 I'm giving you ten seconds to tell me what it is you want me to do. 445 00:23:48,275 --> 00:23:51,108 - Ten, nine, eight... - Because of this crisis, we urgently need drivers. 446 00:23:51,192 --> 00:23:53,317 - Drivers like you. - ...seven, six, five... 447 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,775 Department stores only allow their goods to be transported by drivers 448 00:23:55,858 --> 00:23:58,900 - who do not have criminal records. - ...three, two... 449 00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:01,358 I repeat. 450 00:24:01,442 --> 00:24:04,983 B2B Pro Freight Services have urgent need for drivers 451 00:24:05,067 --> 00:24:09,108 registered to us who do not have criminal records. 452 00:24:09,192 --> 00:24:11,150 So why are you talking to me? 453 00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:13,983 I have contracts to carry valuables from 16 department stores 454 00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:17,650 across London, and they all want everything out in the next four days. 455 00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:19,983 And I only have two fucking drivers. 456 00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:21,442 So what's your solution? 457 00:24:21,525 --> 00:24:25,358 Deception. Forgiveness. Redemption. Bunce. 458 00:24:25,442 --> 00:24:26,775 What the fuck is bunce? 459 00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:28,692 Old East End word for cash, Paxton, 460 00:24:28,775 --> 00:24:30,483 in return for grand deception. 461 00:24:30,567 --> 00:24:33,192 Facilitated by my forgiveness and your redemption. 462 00:24:33,275 --> 00:24:34,858 All right, get there. Get there, Malcolm. 463 00:24:34,942 --> 00:24:37,275 I've printed off an ID with a security level A2. 464 00:24:37,358 --> 00:24:39,400 Clean. With your photo on it and a name. 465 00:24:39,483 --> 00:24:41,483 It is not your name. 466 00:24:41,567 --> 00:24:43,108 I can't officially take you off furlough and give you this work, 467 00:24:43,192 --> 00:24:45,317 because you used to be a bike slag, 468 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,650 so I will have to pretend you are someone else and pay you in cash. 469 00:24:47,733 --> 00:24:50,067 You've worked for this company as a driver for seven years. 470 00:24:50,150 --> 00:24:51,692 And I have never had a single complaint. 471 00:24:51,775 --> 00:24:53,733 You've only ever driven low value packages, 472 00:24:53,817 --> 00:24:56,483 but I believe you are a man who can be trusted. 473 00:24:58,942 --> 00:25:00,317 That I am. 474 00:25:01,775 --> 00:25:03,817 Yeah, I can be trusted. 475 00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:05,650 I mean, what happened was a long time ago. 476 00:25:05,733 --> 00:25:06,900 Yeah, I don't wanna to know. 477 00:25:06,983 --> 00:25:08,775 No, it was biker versus biker. 478 00:25:08,858 --> 00:25:11,733 The Lord forgives. B2B Pro Freight Services forgives. 479 00:25:11,817 --> 00:25:13,567 If it wasn't for the fucking convictions from that night, 480 00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:15,400 my whole life would've been radically different. 481 00:25:15,483 --> 00:25:17,317 Two hundred a day in cash. 482 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:20,483 I don't care about the cash. I wanna make a deal with you, Malcolm. 483 00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:22,525 Look, I will do this on the condition 484 00:25:22,608 --> 00:25:25,442 that when this is all over, you will consider me for a clerical position. 485 00:25:25,525 --> 00:25:27,150 My entire life has been fucked up 486 00:25:27,233 --> 00:25:28,900 because of things I did on one night. 487 00:25:28,983 --> 00:25:30,400 My wife... 488 00:25:30,483 --> 00:25:32,192 - [cell phone ringing] - My wife has grown out of me, 489 00:25:32,275 --> 00:25:35,067 because I am still Mr. Fuck-All behind the wheel of a van. 490 00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:36,650 I am not stupid. 491 00:25:36,733 --> 00:25:37,733 I read poetry. 492 00:25:37,817 --> 00:25:38,900 I could be someone. 493 00:25:38,983 --> 00:25:40,567 I've got another call, Paxton. 494 00:25:40,650 --> 00:25:42,192 It is a very busy time, the West End is going mad. 495 00:25:42,275 --> 00:25:43,483 Will you do it? 496 00:25:43,567 --> 00:25:44,858 All right, if I do this for you, Malcolm, 497 00:25:44,942 --> 00:25:47,192 I want you to practice what you preach. 498 00:25:47,275 --> 00:25:50,608 About forgiveness, and lost sheep and redemption, 499 00:25:50,692 --> 00:25:53,108 all of it, and give me a chance to come off the road. 500 00:25:53,192 --> 00:25:54,817 Everything is possible, Paxton. 501 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:56,817 God bless you. 502 00:25:56,900 --> 00:25:58,775 Selfridges, Thursday. Harvey Nichols, Friday. Harrods on Saturday. 503 00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:00,608 - Right, yeah. - I will e-mail your full itinerary 504 00:26:00,692 --> 00:26:02,108 and your new identity. 505 00:26:02,192 --> 00:26:05,025 Okay, okay. And after... After Harrods on Saturday... 506 00:26:05,108 --> 00:26:06,733 God bless you, Paxton. 507 00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:08,858 - [call ends] - [sighs] 508 00:26:14,150 --> 00:26:15,442 Shit. 509 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,733 [Skype ringtone on laptop] 510 00:26:48,233 --> 00:26:51,817 Hey, Linda, how's lockdown? 511 00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:54,150 [chuckles] It's pretty bad. 512 00:26:54,233 --> 00:26:55,650 How's Chicago? 513 00:26:56,358 --> 00:26:57,650 I'm in Vermont. 514 00:26:57,733 --> 00:26:59,733 Yeah, moved the family out to Vermont. 515 00:26:59,817 --> 00:27:03,317 We're all here crazy happy. 516 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,150 Kids make a lot of noise, so I got these new AirPods Pro. 517 00:27:07,233 --> 00:27:10,525 Noise canceling. They work, like, you literally can't hear anything. 518 00:27:10,608 --> 00:27:12,317 No, I don't have those. 519 00:27:13,275 --> 00:27:15,317 I can see in your face 520 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,442 that you, uh, spoke to the guys at Events and delivered the update. 521 00:27:18,525 --> 00:27:21,650 Update. Yeah. Yeah, I updated them. 522 00:27:21,733 --> 00:27:24,192 - [clears throat] - Did you read them my message? 523 00:27:25,775 --> 00:27:27,692 The stuff about the Miracore family? 524 00:27:27,775 --> 00:27:31,275 No, no, no, I didn't think that would translate. Um... 525 00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:36,483 Linda, I wrote that message from the heart. I really meant what I said. 526 00:27:36,567 --> 00:27:38,567 I can't believe you didn't read it out to them. 527 00:27:38,650 --> 00:27:41,567 I didn't think it was appropriate to say that "Miracore is a family 528 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:43,442 and there comes a time in every family's life 529 00:27:43,525 --> 00:27:46,275 when it's best if some family members fly the nest." 530 00:27:47,525 --> 00:27:49,025 Why is that not appropriate? 531 00:27:49,150 --> 00:27:50,650 Because they're not flying the nest, are they? 532 00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:53,317 They're being thrown out of the nest 533 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:54,900 into the long grass under the tree. 534 00:27:54,983 --> 00:27:56,900 There's no tree. What tree? 535 00:27:56,983 --> 00:27:59,400 It's your nest, Guy. You came up with the analogy of the nest. 536 00:27:59,483 --> 00:28:01,108 So there has to be a tree. 537 00:28:01,192 --> 00:28:02,733 Do you have a temperature, Linda? 538 00:28:04,650 --> 00:28:07,817 Um, there are two big events which were already set up when lockdown began. 539 00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:09,567 One was at Westfield, 540 00:28:09,650 --> 00:28:11,483 the other one was the Eve Schwarz store takeover at Harrods. 541 00:28:11,567 --> 00:28:13,400 But both Westfield and Harrods have closed their door. 542 00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:14,692 I love Harrods. 543 00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:16,567 Yeah, I love Harrods, too. 544 00:28:16,650 --> 00:28:18,692 I worked there for five years, they were the happiest of my life. 545 00:28:18,775 --> 00:28:20,733 Anyway, the launch of Eve Schwarz collection was going to be huge, 546 00:28:20,817 --> 00:28:23,733 so I chose Harrods because of its size and level of security. 547 00:28:23,817 --> 00:28:26,692 You chose? I thought Melissa was head of events strategy. 548 00:28:26,775 --> 00:28:30,400 Yeah. Sometimes I questioned her... It doesn't matter. 549 00:28:30,483 --> 00:28:33,733 You've been carrying that department a long time. 550 00:28:33,817 --> 00:28:36,275 Yeah, well, they were family, weren't they? 551 00:28:36,358 --> 00:28:38,275 And that's what you do with family. 552 00:28:38,358 --> 00:28:40,233 You carry them until you get a direction from Chicago to drop them, 553 00:28:40,317 --> 00:28:42,108 and then you dutifully drop them. 554 00:28:42,192 --> 00:28:44,275 Anyway, at Harrods, we have five million dollars worth of jewelry, 555 00:28:44,358 --> 00:28:46,608 clothing and accessories already installed for the catwalk 556 00:28:46,692 --> 00:28:49,150 and store takeover under Miracore liability. 557 00:28:49,233 --> 00:28:50,733 And that includes the Harris Diamond 558 00:28:50,817 --> 00:28:52,775 which was to be the centerpiece of the show. 559 00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:56,108 The Harris Diamond is under our insurance liability? 560 00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:57,525 It's, um... 561 00:28:57,608 --> 00:29:01,650 It's safe in the Harrods' secure vault, but, yes. 562 00:29:04,233 --> 00:29:07,483 I suggested to the people at Eve Schwarz 563 00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:10,192 that we put everything into Harrods' secure storage as quickly as possible 564 00:29:10,275 --> 00:29:12,025 [chuckles lightly] until this, um... 565 00:29:12,150 --> 00:29:14,483 Uh, until this situation is ended. 566 00:29:14,567 --> 00:29:17,275 But we have a problem with insurance. You see... 567 00:29:19,150 --> 00:29:21,150 Uh... 568 00:29:21,233 --> 00:29:23,983 So, Eve Schwarz's insurance policy 569 00:29:24,067 --> 00:29:25,817 means that they are not allowed to store their merchandise 570 00:29:25,900 --> 00:29:27,650 except under their own corporate supervision. 571 00:29:27,733 --> 00:29:29,483 So the merchandise 572 00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:31,775 will have to be taken out of the store in secure transportation. 573 00:29:33,067 --> 00:29:35,108 Anyway, the stores are allocating for collection. 574 00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:38,317 We have Westfield on Friday, Harrods on Saturday. 575 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,108 And then we discuss your role and your salary. 576 00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:44,275 - [mouthing] - There'll be a lot of new responsibilities. 577 00:29:44,358 --> 00:29:50,067 - Things are changing. - That's excellent news. Thank you. 578 00:29:50,150 --> 00:29:52,067 [in British accent] Say hello to London. 579 00:29:52,150 --> 00:29:54,733 - Enjoy Vermont. - [in normal accent] You bet. 580 00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:00,192 What? Oh, fuck! Quinn! 581 00:30:00,275 --> 00:30:01,983 [call ends] 582 00:30:02,650 --> 00:30:03,983 [laughs] 583 00:30:09,233 --> 00:30:11,650 - [knock on door] - [Paxton] I'm going to the land of the Walking Dead 584 00:30:11,733 --> 00:30:12,608 to buy some milk. 585 00:30:12,692 --> 00:30:14,025 Do we need anything else? 586 00:30:15,817 --> 00:30:19,692 I say the word "we" without any attempt to suggest a unified entity, 587 00:30:19,775 --> 00:30:23,400 but there's no point in us both going separately to get our own provisions. 588 00:30:24,733 --> 00:30:26,192 It's getting rough out there. 589 00:30:26,275 --> 00:30:27,775 And increasingly, I think 590 00:30:27,858 --> 00:30:29,733 people like me who have spent time in real prison 591 00:30:29,817 --> 00:30:31,400 are thriving in this new reality. 592 00:30:31,483 --> 00:30:34,067 Oh, you know what, Paxton, fuck it. Come in. 593 00:30:36,358 --> 00:30:41,733 All right, Paxton, here it is. In addition to milk, I need cigarettes. 594 00:30:44,525 --> 00:30:47,192 - What? - I was trying to hide that I'm smoking again, 595 00:30:47,275 --> 00:30:50,567 but since we're no longer together, it doesn't really matter, does it? 596 00:30:50,650 --> 00:30:52,233 You are smoking? 597 00:30:52,317 --> 00:30:55,067 Yes. I plan to carry on just until this thing is over. 598 00:30:55,150 --> 00:30:57,900 It's magnificent, actually. 599 00:30:57,983 --> 00:30:59,942 And when did you start smoking again? 600 00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,108 Just before Christmas. 601 00:31:02,775 --> 00:31:04,275 Why? 602 00:31:04,358 --> 00:31:07,775 I started smoking again when I went to Paris. 603 00:31:07,858 --> 00:31:09,400 - You went to Paris? - Yes, I went to Paris. 604 00:31:09,483 --> 00:31:10,817 I didn't tell you I went to Paris. 605 00:31:10,900 --> 00:31:13,025 Michael Essien invited me to Paris and I went. 606 00:31:13,108 --> 00:31:14,817 Okay, my therapist 607 00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:18,192 identifies these moments as confession avalanche. 608 00:31:20,858 --> 00:31:22,525 Who the fuck is Michael Essien? 609 00:31:22,608 --> 00:31:23,817 He is the founder of Miracore, 610 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:25,442 seventh wealthiest man in Germany. 611 00:31:25,525 --> 00:31:28,108 - And you went to Paris with him? - Not quite. 612 00:31:28,192 --> 00:31:30,358 He invited the CEOs from six countries 613 00:31:30,442 --> 00:31:32,650 to come to Paris for his 60th birthday celebration. 614 00:31:32,733 --> 00:31:34,775 Do you mind if I light this thing? I've put it out twi... 615 00:31:34,858 --> 00:31:37,983 And, you know what? Actually, it's my choice. Why am I even asking? 616 00:31:44,275 --> 00:31:46,358 When I got to the hotel, there was this banqueting suite 617 00:31:46,442 --> 00:31:48,400 and I met six other CEOs just like me, 618 00:31:48,483 --> 00:31:50,358 only I had just become a CEO, 619 00:31:50,442 --> 00:31:52,942 so I didn't realize exactly who I was until I saw the other CEOs, 620 00:31:53,025 --> 00:31:57,108 and then I was like, "Oh, so that's who I am now." 621 00:31:57,192 --> 00:31:59,275 And we sat around this table, drinking champagne, 622 00:31:59,358 --> 00:32:01,817 and the conversation was lots of little voices saying "yes," 623 00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,275 and one big voice saying "good," Michael Essien's voice. 624 00:32:04,358 --> 00:32:07,650 And then the big voice said, "Emerging markets" and I... 625 00:32:07,733 --> 00:32:10,858 You know how sometimes when people say something abstract, I actually see it? 626 00:32:10,942 --> 00:32:13,400 Well, we did smoke a lot of weed in the bad old days. 627 00:32:13,483 --> 00:32:18,150 When he said "Emerging markets," I saw this... 628 00:32:18,233 --> 00:32:24,150 thing, this shape appearing from under the table and swimming around our legs. 629 00:32:24,233 --> 00:32:28,150 I think I actually did have a temperature that night. But, anyway, 630 00:32:28,233 --> 00:32:30,650 then he said "Cigarettes and pharmaceuticals," 631 00:32:30,733 --> 00:32:33,942 and I drank some champagne and someone said "facilitators," 632 00:32:34,025 --> 00:32:37,233 that is people who persuade governments that products are safe and okay. 633 00:32:37,317 --> 00:32:41,733 And the big voice said that facilitators were now a huge link in the chain 634 00:32:41,817 --> 00:32:45,025 and I saw this big chain dripping seaweed 635 00:32:45,108 --> 00:32:47,983 and then the big voice raised a toast to corruption, 636 00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:50,358 and everybody laughed ironically, including me. 637 00:32:50,442 --> 00:32:51,775 Paxton, look at me! 638 00:32:55,108 --> 00:32:59,275 And this thing, this shape, it was swimming around my fucking legs 639 00:32:59,358 --> 00:33:01,192 and then the big voice said, emerging market 640 00:33:01,275 --> 00:33:03,608 were now some big percentage of Miracore's profits, 641 00:33:03,692 --> 00:33:06,150 and so there would have to be rationalization in Europe. 642 00:33:06,233 --> 00:33:08,358 And I drank some water, because I felt a little sick, 643 00:33:08,442 --> 00:33:10,858 but also like I might pass out, but then the waiter said "brandy," so I said yes. 644 00:33:10,942 --> 00:33:15,692 And, so, the rationalization was planned right there 645 00:33:15,775 --> 00:33:17,858 at that table in Paris before Christmas. 646 00:33:17,942 --> 00:33:20,567 And the nice people that I fired earlier today, 647 00:33:20,650 --> 00:33:23,233 they weren't fired because of a virus, like I told them, 648 00:33:23,317 --> 00:33:26,150 that was a lie. They were fired because of this... 649 00:33:26,233 --> 00:33:27,942 this thing, this shape, 650 00:33:28,025 --> 00:33:30,233 that swam with me all the way back to my room, 651 00:33:30,317 --> 00:33:35,567 and to get rid of it, I used the disgusting glass swan to smash a full length mirror, 652 00:33:35,650 --> 00:33:37,567 and rather then walk across broken glass all night, 653 00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:39,650 I decided to take the last train home to London, 654 00:33:39,733 --> 00:33:41,442 and when I got to the Gare du Nord station, 655 00:33:41,525 --> 00:33:43,567 a homeless woman came up to me and asked me for a cigarette. 656 00:33:43,650 --> 00:33:45,900 I told her that I didn't smoke, but I decided to buy her a pack anyway, 657 00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:48,192 because I thought that maybe kindness might make me feel better 658 00:33:48,275 --> 00:33:51,108 about what I had become. And when she lit her cigarette, 659 00:33:51,192 --> 00:33:53,067 I decided to have a cigarette, too. 660 00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:55,233 And when I drew in the smoke, 661 00:33:55,317 --> 00:33:58,900 the thing stopped swimming. 662 00:34:00,483 --> 00:34:04,358 So I sat down on the bench and I waited for my train. 663 00:34:05,858 --> 00:34:08,775 And that is why I started to smoke again. 664 00:34:12,317 --> 00:34:16,192 But... to complete the answer to your original question, 665 00:34:16,275 --> 00:34:19,817 in addition to milk and cigarettes, we need bread 666 00:34:20,567 --> 00:34:22,733 and fucking wine. 667 00:34:25,817 --> 00:34:27,192 God! 668 00:34:27,692 --> 00:34:29,567 God what? 669 00:34:29,650 --> 00:34:31,358 Well, it sounds like you did have a temperature. 670 00:34:31,442 --> 00:34:33,192 You know, they say this thing was around before Christmas. 671 00:34:33,275 --> 00:34:35,108 Paxton, no! It's not about the virus. 672 00:34:35,192 --> 00:34:39,733 It's about me realizing who I am and what I do for a living. 673 00:34:41,192 --> 00:34:43,192 Although a complete re-examination of one's life 674 00:34:43,275 --> 00:34:44,858 does seem to be a COVID side effect. 675 00:34:45,858 --> 00:34:47,400 - You smashed a mirror? - Yeah. 676 00:34:47,483 --> 00:34:48,733 Yeah, because I was in it. 677 00:34:48,817 --> 00:34:50,733 I also smashed a champagne bottle, 678 00:34:50,817 --> 00:34:52,942 some champagne glasses, and I was about to smash a glass horse and jockey, 679 00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:54,400 but then I decided to keep it, 680 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:56,525 but then I left it on the fucking train. 681 00:34:56,608 --> 00:35:00,233 Basically, I went, what you used to call, "Full Viking." 682 00:35:00,317 --> 00:35:01,733 In fact, when I broke the mirror 683 00:35:01,817 --> 00:35:04,108 and I saw my furious face in the cracked glass, 684 00:35:04,192 --> 00:35:06,817 - I thought of you. - [chuckles] That's very sweet. Thank you. 685 00:35:11,067 --> 00:35:12,400 Why didn't you tell me? 686 00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:19,733 It was the onset of winter. Our winter. 687 00:35:19,817 --> 00:35:21,567 And anyway, I didn't tell anybody, 688 00:35:21,650 --> 00:35:25,608 because if you don't tell anybody, then it didn't happen. 689 00:35:25,692 --> 00:35:28,233 - Did you get a bill for the mirror? - Paxton... 690 00:35:28,317 --> 00:35:31,858 Paxton, fuck the mirror. It's not about the mirror, it's about... 691 00:35:38,192 --> 00:35:40,942 Previously, at this point, 692 00:35:41,025 --> 00:35:43,358 - I would've hugged you. - No, really, there's no need. 693 00:35:43,442 --> 00:35:45,108 And anyway, besides, you're going shopping. 694 00:35:45,192 --> 00:35:50,275 So, uh, milk, bread, wine, cigarettes. 695 00:35:50,358 --> 00:35:53,608 - And probably eggs. - I'm gonna put white flour on the list. 696 00:35:53,692 --> 00:35:55,192 I'm gonna make bread. 697 00:35:55,275 --> 00:35:57,608 - Please don't. - You know... 698 00:35:59,025 --> 00:36:01,858 what you just said wasn't a confession. 699 00:36:01,942 --> 00:36:03,233 I didn't say it was a confession. 700 00:36:03,317 --> 00:36:04,358 'Cause you didn't do anything wrong. 701 00:36:04,442 --> 00:36:06,358 No, it was an explanation. 702 00:36:06,442 --> 00:36:07,692 You did everything right. 703 00:36:09,775 --> 00:36:11,900 You wanna hear a confession? 704 00:36:11,983 --> 00:36:17,192 This morning I overslept, because last night I took opium. 705 00:36:18,650 --> 00:36:20,400 [laughs] Yes! 706 00:36:20,942 --> 00:36:22,608 Yes. 707 00:36:22,692 --> 00:36:24,358 Much worse than your cigarettes. 708 00:36:24,442 --> 00:36:28,733 I licked opium off little green bulbs from the garden. 709 00:36:28,817 --> 00:36:30,317 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. 710 00:36:30,400 --> 00:36:32,108 Our garden is full of heroin. 711 00:36:32,192 --> 00:36:33,483 You go beyond the washing line, it's like the Helmand Province. 712 00:36:33,567 --> 00:36:36,067 After ten years, Paxton? 713 00:36:36,150 --> 00:36:38,067 Smoking isn't so great either. 714 00:36:38,150 --> 00:36:40,483 You know, I've had some setbacks lately. 715 00:36:40,567 --> 00:36:42,525 Yeah, well, you know what, Paxton? 716 00:36:42,608 --> 00:36:44,525 You know that green smoothie that I have in the mornings since Paris, 717 00:36:44,608 --> 00:36:46,067 there's two shots of vodka in it. 718 00:36:46,150 --> 00:36:47,567 - Just two but... - You are lying. 719 00:36:47,650 --> 00:36:49,358 No, I'm not. 720 00:36:49,442 --> 00:36:51,442 Not every morning, but some mornings I do it. I have done it. 721 00:36:51,525 --> 00:36:54,858 You think I'm so happy and normal is 'cause I keep getting promoted. 722 00:36:54,942 --> 00:36:56,650 People get confused. 723 00:36:56,733 --> 00:36:58,358 No, I've never accused you of being happy and normal, Linda. 724 00:36:58,442 --> 00:37:03,442 'Cause I'm not! All right? I see concepts. 725 00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:04,775 I should've been an artist. 726 00:37:04,858 --> 00:37:06,442 You are unhappy in an outwardly "happy, 727 00:37:06,525 --> 00:37:08,775 let's pretend it's all fine" female way, 728 00:37:08,858 --> 00:37:11,650 and I am unhappy in an obviously thwarted, 729 00:37:11,733 --> 00:37:14,108 - unfulfilled, castrated male way. - I can't. I can't. 730 00:37:14,192 --> 00:37:15,942 Do not go down this road again, okay? 731 00:37:16,025 --> 00:37:19,317 Just go to the store. Milk, bread, wine, cigarettes, eggs. 732 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,608 Yeah, and fuck you, I'm buying flour. 733 00:37:21,692 --> 00:37:24,108 Fine! Wait. Do you have a mask? 734 00:37:27,983 --> 00:37:29,608 No, I don't have a mask, no. 735 00:37:29,692 --> 00:37:32,650 Well, you'll have to tie something around your mouth and nose. 736 00:37:41,900 --> 00:37:43,608 Fuck! 737 00:37:45,608 --> 00:37:47,108 My old bandana. 738 00:37:47,192 --> 00:37:50,483 Hmm. Yeah, well, it's no longer a symbol of rebellion. 739 00:37:50,567 --> 00:37:52,067 It's now government advice. 740 00:38:01,692 --> 00:38:05,192 You were wearing that when I met you in Sturgis, South Dakota. 741 00:38:06,858 --> 00:38:09,025 I thought you looked like a desperado. 742 00:38:09,108 --> 00:38:11,150 No, I was just trying to get the dust out of my mouth. 743 00:38:11,233 --> 00:38:12,483 Don't spoil it. 744 00:38:15,942 --> 00:38:19,067 Don't forget the milk and the eggs, Desperado. 745 00:38:20,317 --> 00:38:22,525 [imitates gun whooshing] 746 00:38:23,275 --> 00:38:26,025 [piano music playing] 747 00:38:40,608 --> 00:38:42,942 Oi! Move forward. 748 00:38:43,442 --> 00:38:44,900 Oi! 749 00:38:44,983 --> 00:38:46,650 Go ahead then. 750 00:38:46,733 --> 00:38:47,900 [Paxton] Fuck off. 751 00:38:51,442 --> 00:38:52,692 Oi. How many asses have you got? 752 00:38:52,775 --> 00:38:53,775 [man] Fuck off! 753 00:38:54,650 --> 00:38:56,858 [piano music continues] 754 00:39:23,983 --> 00:39:27,067 [mouse clicking] 755 00:39:36,483 --> 00:39:38,233 [knock on door] 756 00:39:43,025 --> 00:39:44,483 Paxton. 757 00:39:47,025 --> 00:39:50,983 Hearing the story about Paris out loud, it made me think... 758 00:39:51,067 --> 00:39:53,942 When lockdown's over, I'm going to think about leaving Miracore. 759 00:39:54,442 --> 00:39:56,483 [exhales] 760 00:39:56,567 --> 00:39:57,983 Why are you telling me? 761 00:40:11,983 --> 00:40:13,567 [ringing] 762 00:40:18,025 --> 00:40:18,942 [sighs] 763 00:40:23,192 --> 00:40:24,525 You called? 764 00:40:24,608 --> 00:40:26,108 Oh, Lord who art in heaven, I beseech you, 765 00:40:26,192 --> 00:40:27,900 look favorably upon Paxton and myself 766 00:40:27,983 --> 00:40:29,483 and forgive us the sin of deception 767 00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:31,150 which we are jointly about to commit 768 00:40:31,233 --> 00:40:33,442 in pursuit of his ultimate redemption. Amen. 769 00:40:35,483 --> 00:40:37,275 Amen. 770 00:40:37,358 --> 00:40:39,067 Every prayer is tailored to suit the person I am calling. 771 00:40:39,150 --> 00:40:41,525 Either it's me writing the words or it's Jesus. 772 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,192 What do you want, Malcolm? 773 00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:46,067 I've got your fake ID sorted. 774 00:40:46,150 --> 00:40:48,233 Virginia is delivering the ID card. 775 00:40:48,317 --> 00:40:50,650 I wanted to make sure you'd be in. 776 00:40:50,733 --> 00:40:52,567 You know what, Malcolm? Everybody's in. 777 00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:54,317 And I've sent you your new name. 778 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,358 I texted it to you. It's on your phone. 779 00:40:57,067 --> 00:40:58,817 Okay. 780 00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:02,483 A new name for the beginning of a new life. 781 00:41:03,442 --> 00:41:06,358 And my new name is... 782 00:41:10,775 --> 00:41:12,025 Edgar Allen Poe. 783 00:41:12,108 --> 00:41:13,275 [Malcolm] Yeah. 784 00:41:15,275 --> 00:41:16,775 Yeah, uh... 785 00:41:18,067 --> 00:41:20,233 Yeah. Malcolm, I obviously can't use this name. 786 00:41:20,317 --> 00:41:21,525 Why not? 787 00:41:21,608 --> 00:41:22,858 I'm hoping this is a joke, 788 00:41:22,942 --> 00:41:24,150 but I know you, so it's probably not. 789 00:41:24,233 --> 00:41:25,275 What joke? 790 00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:28,192 Okay. 791 00:41:28,275 --> 00:41:30,983 Edgar Allan Poe is the name of a famous, 792 00:41:31,067 --> 00:41:32,358 like a... 793 00:41:32,442 --> 00:41:34,567 like a very famous American novelist and poet. 794 00:41:34,650 --> 00:41:36,108 Never heard of him. 795 00:41:36,192 --> 00:41:37,525 Well, I assure you, 796 00:41:37,608 --> 00:41:41,400 Edgar Allan Poe is actually a very famous 797 00:41:41,483 --> 00:41:43,358 American writer who I'm actually very fond of. 798 00:41:43,442 --> 00:41:45,067 It was me that came up with Edgar. 799 00:41:45,150 --> 00:41:46,567 It's my grandad's name. 800 00:41:46,650 --> 00:41:48,275 So who came up with the "Allen Poe" part? 801 00:41:48,358 --> 00:41:49,817 Martin in dispatch. 802 00:41:50,317 --> 00:41:51,775 Fuck. 803 00:41:51,858 --> 00:41:53,900 Martin in dispatch hates me. 804 00:41:53,983 --> 00:41:56,483 He's deliberately suggested this to make my life strange 805 00:41:56,567 --> 00:41:57,858 and unbearable. 806 00:41:57,942 --> 00:41:59,483 Well, the card's already been laminated. 807 00:41:59,567 --> 00:42:02,317 Malcolm, I can't go into expensive department stores 808 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,525 in the West End, right, 809 00:42:03,608 --> 00:42:05,733 and expect them to entrust me 810 00:42:05,817 --> 00:42:07,983 with valuable clothing and jewelry, 811 00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:11,067 and tell them that my name is Edgar Allen fucking Poe! 812 00:42:11,150 --> 00:42:13,817 If he's so famous, how come I've never heard of him? 813 00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:15,483 'Cause you don't read books! 814 00:42:15,567 --> 00:42:17,067 I read the Good Book. 815 00:42:17,150 --> 00:42:18,567 But he's not in the Bible, obviously. He's an American. 816 00:42:18,650 --> 00:42:21,025 Anybody here ever heard of a writer 817 00:42:21,108 --> 00:42:22,692 called Edgar Allan Poe? 818 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:25,150 No? 819 00:42:25,233 --> 00:42:26,442 No one. There you go. 820 00:42:26,525 --> 00:42:27,775 [Paxton] I know there's no one there. 821 00:42:27,858 --> 00:42:28,483 They are all working from home. 822 00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:30,650 Martin's here. 823 00:42:30,733 --> 00:42:32,067 This was his idea! 824 00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:34,942 Well, the card's already been laminated. 825 00:42:35,025 --> 00:42:36,108 [sighs] 826 00:42:36,192 --> 00:42:38,525 All right, look, I grant you that 90% 827 00:42:38,608 --> 00:42:40,442 of the security guards working the night shift 828 00:42:40,525 --> 00:42:42,108 in the West End would not have heard 829 00:42:42,192 --> 00:42:43,358 of Edgar Allan Poe. 830 00:42:43,442 --> 00:42:44,733 Basically dealing with robots. 831 00:42:44,817 --> 00:42:46,442 But I am an unlucky person. 832 00:42:46,525 --> 00:42:49,775 Fate has a way of doing these little experiments on me. 833 00:42:49,858 --> 00:42:51,525 Card's already laminated 834 00:42:51,608 --> 00:42:53,983 and Martin has a new name badge made for your uniform. 835 00:42:54,067 --> 00:42:55,442 It's all in the envelope. 836 00:42:55,525 --> 00:42:56,858 By some chance, 837 00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,733 choosing the name of a gloomy, 838 00:42:58,817 --> 00:43:02,400 introspective peddler of darkness is actually quite appropriate 839 00:43:02,483 --> 00:43:03,900 to my character, but please... 840 00:43:06,067 --> 00:43:08,983 just give me a new card under a different name. 841 00:43:09,067 --> 00:43:11,067 The robots don't give a fuck about the name, 842 00:43:11,150 --> 00:43:12,650 they just look at the photo. 843 00:43:12,733 --> 00:43:14,233 You are due at Selfridges' loading bay B 844 00:43:14,317 --> 00:43:15,983 at 1800 hours tonight. 845 00:43:16,067 --> 00:43:18,067 Wear your uniform with your name tag. 846 00:43:18,150 --> 00:43:20,025 Flash your ID. 847 00:43:20,108 --> 00:43:23,150 Look, if you want to back out, say so now. 848 00:43:23,233 --> 00:43:24,942 I can't get into trouble again, all right? 849 00:43:25,025 --> 00:43:28,483 This could be construed as deception 850 00:43:28,567 --> 00:43:29,567 and attempted robbery. 851 00:43:29,650 --> 00:43:30,942 You counted me down, 852 00:43:31,025 --> 00:43:33,358 I'll count you down, you fucker. 853 00:43:33,442 --> 00:43:37,192 Five, four, three, two... 854 00:43:37,275 --> 00:43:39,900 Fuck! All right, all right. I'll do it. 855 00:43:39,983 --> 00:43:41,358 Good. 856 00:43:41,442 --> 00:43:44,483 Details are on the text. God bless you, Paxton. 857 00:43:44,567 --> 00:43:45,525 [call ends] 858 00:43:48,275 --> 00:43:50,108 [doorbell chiming] 859 00:43:58,275 --> 00:44:01,108 [sighs] No need to sign. I know him. 860 00:44:01,192 --> 00:44:02,442 Are you his other half? 861 00:44:03,317 --> 00:44:04,692 [Linda] Yes, yes, I am. 862 00:44:04,775 --> 00:44:06,525 [Virginia] He's so dry, isn't he? 863 00:44:06,608 --> 00:44:08,233 Yes, he is. [laughs] 864 00:44:08,317 --> 00:44:10,233 [Virginia] Hello, Paxton. 865 00:44:10,317 --> 00:44:12,192 I was just saying you're very funny. 866 00:44:12,275 --> 00:44:15,067 Yes, I am. I am hilarious. 867 00:44:15,150 --> 00:44:17,233 [Virginia] We think he's too clever to be driving vans. 868 00:44:17,317 --> 00:44:19,858 We don't know why he doesn't get a better job. 869 00:44:19,942 --> 00:44:21,317 Well, that's easy. 870 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:23,067 It's 'cause ten years ago, I beat a man senseless 871 00:44:23,150 --> 00:44:24,650 in a bikers' roadhouse in Watford. 872 00:44:24,733 --> 00:44:25,983 [laughs] See? 873 00:44:26,067 --> 00:44:28,525 He's always saying silly things. 874 00:44:28,608 --> 00:44:30,192 He's so dry. 875 00:44:30,275 --> 00:44:32,442 [Paxton] Give my regards to Martin, would you, Virginia? 876 00:44:32,525 --> 00:44:34,733 - [Virginia] Mmm-hmm. - Tell him this won't be forgotten. 877 00:44:34,817 --> 00:44:36,317 Okay. 878 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:37,942 See you when the madness is over. 879 00:44:38,025 --> 00:44:40,317 Yeah, well, for some of us, the madness never ends. 880 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,317 [Virginia laughs] 881 00:44:44,317 --> 00:44:47,400 [door closes, locks] 882 00:44:47,483 --> 00:44:49,942 Never forget, the man you beat senseless deserved it. 883 00:44:50,025 --> 00:44:52,067 Please don't talk about people deserving things. 884 00:44:52,150 --> 00:44:54,733 If it wasn't for you, a little man called Archie Bruce would be dead. 885 00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:56,942 What you want, justice next? 886 00:44:57,025 --> 00:44:59,358 I know that you had a bad break, 887 00:44:59,442 --> 00:45:01,067 - but going forward... - "Going forward"? 888 00:45:01,150 --> 00:45:02,900 When lockdown is over and we are apart, 889 00:45:02,983 --> 00:45:04,983 you have to stop believing that fate is against you. Okay? 890 00:45:05,067 --> 00:45:06,983 You have to stop believing the name Paxton 891 00:45:07,067 --> 00:45:08,233 is a precursor of doom. 892 00:45:08,317 --> 00:45:10,858 Yes, well, my name isn't Paxton. 893 00:45:13,525 --> 00:45:14,483 Yeah. 894 00:45:22,692 --> 00:45:23,858 [steam hisses] 895 00:45:29,525 --> 00:45:31,692 [Linda groans] 896 00:45:31,775 --> 00:45:35,150 Paxton, you can't go through with this, you're gonna get caught. 897 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:37,233 If you're doing it for cash, I'll give you the cash. 898 00:45:37,317 --> 00:45:38,983 I am not doing it for the cash. 899 00:45:39,067 --> 00:45:42,233 I'm doing it for the opportunity to have a better life. 900 00:45:42,317 --> 00:45:44,233 But why am I telling you? 901 00:45:47,525 --> 00:45:48,692 [chuckles] 902 00:45:50,942 --> 00:45:53,150 [sighs] Fuck. 903 00:45:53,733 --> 00:45:55,442 [rain pattering] 904 00:45:57,358 --> 00:45:58,567 [man] Paxton. 905 00:46:00,108 --> 00:46:02,483 [motorbike revving in distance] 906 00:46:03,275 --> 00:46:04,650 [Paxton exhales] 907 00:46:10,067 --> 00:46:12,108 [brakes screeching] 908 00:46:20,900 --> 00:46:22,150 Oh! 909 00:46:25,692 --> 00:46:27,067 Oh. 910 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:34,442 Fuck 'em. 911 00:46:37,817 --> 00:46:40,858 And Linda seemed kind of detached from the whole thing. 912 00:46:40,942 --> 00:46:41,942 Hey. 913 00:46:42,442 --> 00:46:43,525 Detached? 914 00:46:44,317 --> 00:46:45,275 Hi, Linda. 915 00:46:45,358 --> 00:46:46,525 We were talking about you. 916 00:46:46,608 --> 00:46:48,025 We were all just saying 917 00:46:48,108 --> 00:46:49,358 that we love that you're always so professional. 918 00:46:49,442 --> 00:46:51,483 Detached from what whole thing? 919 00:46:51,567 --> 00:46:53,358 I was saying you handled the situation 920 00:46:53,442 --> 00:46:56,317 with Events without too much feeling getting in the way. 921 00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:58,983 You fired them well. 922 00:47:00,275 --> 00:47:02,942 I did. Thank you. 923 00:47:03,025 --> 00:47:04,025 Good. 924 00:47:05,483 --> 00:47:08,692 Linda, is that a glass of wine? 925 00:47:08,775 --> 00:47:10,483 Oh, yes, yeah, it is. 926 00:47:10,567 --> 00:47:12,025 Well... 927 00:47:12,108 --> 00:47:13,900 it says wine on the label 928 00:47:13,983 --> 00:47:15,317 but it tastes like something used to clean something off of a surface. 929 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,317 Paxton chose it. 930 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:17,442 Who's Paxton? 931 00:47:17,525 --> 00:47:19,150 [Linda] Mmm, anyway... 932 00:47:19,233 --> 00:47:21,400 we have a problem, so shall we get on? 933 00:47:28,692 --> 00:47:29,775 Hello, Martin. 934 00:47:30,567 --> 00:47:32,483 Hello, Edgar. 935 00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:34,067 You know, from my observation of you 936 00:47:34,150 --> 00:47:35,650 since I joined the company, 937 00:47:35,733 --> 00:47:38,483 you represent the longest and most well-managed 938 00:47:38,567 --> 00:47:40,567 nervous breakdown in history. 939 00:47:40,650 --> 00:47:43,400 Why don't you go somewhere warm and count your grievances? 940 00:47:43,483 --> 00:47:45,733 I've disinfected the van for you. 941 00:47:45,817 --> 00:47:48,942 Everything you need is in there. 942 00:47:49,025 --> 00:47:52,775 You know, when Malcolm told me he was giving you an A2 security clearance, 943 00:47:52,858 --> 00:47:54,400 I advised him against it. 944 00:47:54,483 --> 00:47:56,442 B2B normally keep lowlifes like you 945 00:47:56,525 --> 00:47:59,233 away from high-value cargo for a reason... 946 00:47:59,317 --> 00:48:01,108 Temptation. 947 00:48:01,192 --> 00:48:03,192 You forgot to put the keys to the van inside the envelope, Martin. 948 00:48:04,817 --> 00:48:07,900 I've read your human resources profile. 949 00:48:07,983 --> 00:48:11,108 My personal record is meant to be confidential, 950 00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:13,233 but for your personal record, Martin, 951 00:48:13,317 --> 00:48:15,858 I'm a different person now. Give me the fucking keys. 952 00:48:15,942 --> 00:48:17,400 Perhaps Malcolm didn't tell you. 953 00:48:17,483 --> 00:48:19,108 The estimated value of tonight's cargo 954 00:48:19,192 --> 00:48:22,442 out of Selfridges is £50,000. 955 00:48:22,525 --> 00:48:25,275 The value of your collection from Harvey Nichols on Friday 956 00:48:25,358 --> 00:48:27,025 is just under £100,000. 957 00:48:27,108 --> 00:48:28,442 But on Saturday night, 958 00:48:28,525 --> 00:48:30,358 when you go to Harrods, 959 00:48:30,442 --> 00:48:33,483 you'll be driving away from the world's most glamorous department store 960 00:48:33,567 --> 00:48:35,775 with jewelry and accessories in your van 961 00:48:35,858 --> 00:48:37,983 worth over three million pounds. 962 00:48:38,692 --> 00:48:39,817 Now think on this. 963 00:48:39,900 --> 00:48:41,525 You'll be wearing a mask and gloves, 964 00:48:41,608 --> 00:48:43,525 you'll be using a false identity. 965 00:48:43,608 --> 00:48:45,233 Outside, the streets will be empty. 966 00:48:45,317 --> 00:48:46,733 Store security on quarter staff 967 00:48:46,817 --> 00:48:48,983 with big holes caused by absences. 968 00:48:49,067 --> 00:48:50,650 What more could a lowlife need 969 00:48:50,733 --> 00:48:52,275 to pull off the perfect robbery. 970 00:48:52,358 --> 00:48:54,692 You refer to me as "lowlife" one more time... 971 00:48:54,775 --> 00:48:56,858 You'll what? Revert to type. 972 00:48:56,942 --> 00:48:59,150 Okay, here goes, one more time. 973 00:48:59,233 --> 00:49:01,608 Lowlife. 974 00:49:01,692 --> 00:49:04,733 You know, Malcolm told me that if you do okay in the next few nights, 975 00:49:04,817 --> 00:49:07,025 he's gonna put you in customer services. 976 00:49:07,108 --> 00:49:09,150 Goin' out and meeting clients. 977 00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:10,608 'Cause you're so funny 978 00:49:10,692 --> 00:49:13,400 and you're so dry and you make the girls laugh. 979 00:49:13,483 --> 00:49:15,150 Whereas I've been stuck in dispatches 980 00:49:15,233 --> 00:49:16,942 for seven and a half years. 981 00:49:17,025 --> 00:49:19,400 You have to stop thinking the whole world's against you, Martin. 982 00:49:23,567 --> 00:49:25,358 Do it, Paxton. 983 00:49:25,442 --> 00:49:28,650 Take the opportunity that fate has given you. 984 00:49:30,733 --> 00:49:32,483 [wind howling] 985 00:49:36,233 --> 00:49:39,442 Exactly how much product do Eve Schwarz have in Harrods? 986 00:49:39,525 --> 00:49:42,775 Uh, approximately three million pounds' jewelry and accessories. 987 00:49:42,858 --> 00:49:44,108 Harrods wants everything out of the store 988 00:49:44,192 --> 00:49:45,442 and it's our responsibility... 989 00:49:45,525 --> 00:49:47,525 Oh, you've frozen, Linda. 990 00:49:48,317 --> 00:49:50,150 [Linda] Can you hear me? 991 00:49:50,233 --> 00:49:52,525 Yeah, I can hear you, just your face is frozen. 992 00:49:52,608 --> 00:49:56,483 You've got this look of exasperation. 993 00:49:56,567 --> 00:50:00,775 Uh, someone's gonna have to go into Harrods and pack the valuables up 994 00:50:00,858 --> 00:50:03,775 and check the inventory and count everything out. 995 00:50:03,858 --> 00:50:05,400 And it's gonna have to be someone that we trust. 996 00:50:05,483 --> 00:50:07,608 Someone who is familiar with the stock, 997 00:50:07,692 --> 00:50:09,317 and knows how the Harrods system works. 998 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,400 So that means, inevitably, it's going to be me, isn't it? 999 00:50:11,483 --> 00:50:14,067 Okay, but there's this, another second reason for this call. 1000 00:50:14,150 --> 00:50:17,400 Michael Essien has decided. He wants to give you a promotion. 1001 00:50:17,483 --> 00:50:19,400 [woman] He wants to bring you home. 1002 00:50:19,483 --> 00:50:22,983 Back to New York to run the East Coast. 1003 00:50:23,650 --> 00:50:25,067 Uh... 1004 00:50:25,150 --> 00:50:27,108 Wow, God. Um... 1005 00:50:27,192 --> 00:50:28,525 Exciting. 1006 00:50:28,608 --> 00:50:29,942 A unexpected turn of events 1007 00:50:30,025 --> 00:50:31,483 and cheap wine don't pair well together. 1008 00:50:31,567 --> 00:50:35,025 Um, I'm gonna have to, uh, really think about this. 1009 00:50:35,108 --> 00:50:37,400 Uh, right, good night. 1010 00:50:37,483 --> 00:50:38,442 Yeah, thank you. 1011 00:50:38,525 --> 00:50:39,983 I mean... [hesitates] 1012 00:50:40,067 --> 00:50:41,400 - [man] Linda, it's exciting... - [line disconnects] 1013 00:50:41,483 --> 00:50:42,525 [Linda exclaims] 1014 00:50:45,733 --> 00:50:48,483 A frozen look of exasperation. 1015 00:50:48,567 --> 00:50:53,608 [man on radio] ...and that is his second son, Carl Philipp Emauel Bach 1016 00:50:53,692 --> 00:50:55,608 and here's his Symphony No. 4. 1017 00:50:55,692 --> 00:50:58,858 [classical music playing on radio] 1018 00:51:54,150 --> 00:51:55,733 [clanging] 1019 00:51:55,817 --> 00:51:57,317 It's just that after our call last night, 1020 00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,358 we became worried about Paxton's state of mind. 1021 00:51:59,442 --> 00:52:01,567 We worry that he might implode or explode. 1022 00:52:01,650 --> 00:52:04,067 [Maria] Knowing Paxton, he'll probably implode rather than explode. 1023 00:52:04,150 --> 00:52:05,942 What's the difference? 1024 00:52:06,025 --> 00:52:08,150 [Maria] When you implode, you withdraw within yourself, 1025 00:52:08,233 --> 00:52:10,358 when you explode, you impose yourself on the outer world. 1026 00:52:10,442 --> 00:52:12,400 David, for example, when he gets angry, he implodes. 1027 00:52:12,483 --> 00:52:14,192 When I get angry, I explode. 1028 00:52:14,275 --> 00:52:16,442 - I can also explode if I have to. - Rarely. 1029 00:52:16,525 --> 00:52:18,025 [chuckles] You've obviously never seen me in business meetings. 1030 00:52:18,108 --> 00:52:20,192 Well, actually I have. Since lockdown. 1031 00:52:20,275 --> 00:52:22,108 [David] You've heard me through the wall, you haven't seen me. 1032 00:52:22,192 --> 00:52:23,567 [Maria] Okay, then, I haven't heard you explode. 1033 00:52:23,650 --> 00:52:25,150 I've actually been very surprised 1034 00:52:25,233 --> 00:52:27,400 about how submissive you are in meetings. 1035 00:52:27,483 --> 00:52:29,608 - Submissive? - You're the boss, David, you should act like the boss. 1036 00:52:29,692 --> 00:52:32,442 - Anyway, just to reassure you, Paxton's okay. - [indistinct argument] 1037 00:52:32,525 --> 00:52:34,900 In fact, Paxton maybe getting a promotion. 1038 00:52:35,942 --> 00:52:37,817 Linda, are you drinking alone? 1039 00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:40,567 No, I've got three firemen waiting for me in the kitchen. 1040 00:52:40,650 --> 00:52:43,400 Since lockdown, David has been drinking so much more. 1041 00:52:43,483 --> 00:52:47,358 Yes, David, isn't it wonderful? 1042 00:52:47,442 --> 00:52:49,900 We now keep a record. We count the bottles. 1043 00:52:49,983 --> 00:52:52,067 - I don't care. - Your body cares. 1044 00:52:52,150 --> 00:52:54,483 Your body counts the bottles and keeps an inventory in you liver. 1045 00:52:54,567 --> 00:52:58,900 David, my fellow drinker, I'd like to tell you a secret. 1046 00:52:58,983 --> 00:53:01,233 - What secret? - You know, Linda, 1047 00:53:01,317 --> 00:53:03,317 there have been many occasions in my life 1048 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,442 where I've had a few glasses of wine and in the next morning, 1049 00:53:05,525 --> 00:53:08,233 I woke up like, "Golly. Wow. I wish I hadn't said that." 1050 00:53:08,317 --> 00:53:11,317 Oh, I've done that so many times, too. 1051 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,483 You know, my mantra is, secrets and wine 1052 00:53:13,567 --> 00:53:15,483 - don't go great together. - Let her tell me the secret. 1053 00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,233 I think he's gonna like this secret. 1054 00:53:17,317 --> 00:53:18,858 I think you're gonna like this secret, David, very much. 1055 00:53:18,942 --> 00:53:20,900 Something he's gonna like, you don't know. 1056 00:53:20,983 --> 00:53:22,858 - No, he might not. - What the fuck are you two talking about? 1057 00:53:22,942 --> 00:53:24,317 - [Linda] The secret is this. - He might not be in a place 1058 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:25,775 where it's okay. He watches Fox. 1059 00:53:25,858 --> 00:53:27,900 It is I who am buying Paxton's motorbike. 1060 00:53:30,483 --> 00:53:32,150 [David] What? 1061 00:53:32,233 --> 00:53:33,608 When he said he was selling it, 1062 00:53:33,692 --> 00:53:35,983 I arranged a dealer to buy it anonymously. 1063 00:53:36,067 --> 00:53:38,067 I'm gonna buy it and give it back to him. 1064 00:53:38,692 --> 00:53:39,817 My parting gift. 1065 00:53:45,275 --> 00:53:47,442 For a while I've known I had to leave him. 1066 00:53:47,525 --> 00:53:48,608 But... 1067 00:53:50,525 --> 00:53:53,692 But losing the bike, yeah, that's too much. 1068 00:53:55,358 --> 00:53:57,108 And the bike means something to me, too. 1069 00:53:57,192 --> 00:53:59,400 You know, youth. 1070 00:53:59,483 --> 00:54:05,108 Cigarettes. Bad, bad wine chosen by Paxton. 1071 00:54:06,650 --> 00:54:09,067 [sighs] 1072 00:54:09,150 --> 00:54:10,775 - [David] Wow, that's... - Linda, that's awesome. 1073 00:54:10,858 --> 00:54:12,733 But here's the thing, David. I want you to tell him 1074 00:54:12,817 --> 00:54:14,692 that it's you who is buying the bike 1075 00:54:14,775 --> 00:54:16,442 and giving it back to him. I don't want him to know that it's me. 1076 00:54:18,567 --> 00:54:19,858 [David] Why? 1077 00:54:21,317 --> 00:54:22,692 It'll hurt him less. 1078 00:54:24,025 --> 00:54:25,817 He really is quite prehistoric. 1079 00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:27,150 [breathes heavily] 1080 00:54:27,233 --> 00:54:29,567 I'm a bit drunk and I hate people 1081 00:54:29,650 --> 00:54:31,233 who get emotional on these things, so... 1082 00:54:31,317 --> 00:54:33,067 [call ends] 1083 00:54:40,983 --> 00:54:42,317 [exhales] 1084 00:54:44,483 --> 00:54:46,358 [sobbing] 1085 00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:55,692 Fuck. 1086 00:54:59,608 --> 00:55:04,858 [saucepans clanging] 1087 00:55:09,483 --> 00:55:11,817 [woman] Making noise for the NHS. 1088 00:55:15,442 --> 00:55:19,067 [man on radio] We've got Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 3. 1089 00:55:27,692 --> 00:55:28,942 [horn honking] 1090 00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:30,567 - [Paxton] Whoo! - [classical music playing] 1091 00:55:35,275 --> 00:55:37,567 [yelling] 1092 00:55:37,650 --> 00:55:38,775 Whoo! 1093 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:42,775 [horn honking] 1094 00:55:43,650 --> 00:55:44,608 [yelling] 1095 00:55:47,067 --> 00:55:49,025 [people cheering] 1096 00:56:05,275 --> 00:56:06,442 Hey. 1097 00:56:08,275 --> 00:56:10,275 Couldn't sleep. 1098 00:56:10,358 --> 00:56:13,567 If the wine didn't work, go and lick the garden. 1099 00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:16,067 [Linda chuckles] How was it tonight? 1100 00:56:17,650 --> 00:56:20,858 Every security person I met was under the age of 12, 1101 00:56:20,942 --> 00:56:23,317 and every one of them was too busy playing Fortnite 1102 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,192 to fully acknowledge my ID. 1103 00:56:25,275 --> 00:56:28,650 Anyway, I think for the young generation, great literature is dead. 1104 00:56:28,733 --> 00:56:32,442 I could have had an ID card with William Shakespeare on it. 1105 00:56:32,525 --> 00:56:34,900 [chuckles] How many more pick-ups do you have? 1106 00:56:34,983 --> 00:56:37,775 Um, tomorrow, Harvey Nichols 1107 00:56:37,858 --> 00:56:40,108 and then, Saturday, Harrods. 1108 00:56:40,192 --> 00:56:41,608 [gulps] 1109 00:56:41,692 --> 00:56:43,358 [coughs] Harrods? Saturday night? 1110 00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:45,275 It's all gone mad out there. 1111 00:56:45,358 --> 00:56:49,108 One of the security guards was telling me about franchise managers 1112 00:56:49,192 --> 00:56:53,108 are taking out diamond rings and watches in plastic bags 1113 00:56:53,192 --> 00:56:54,650 and getting into Ubers. 1114 00:56:54,733 --> 00:56:56,608 What are you taking out of Harrods? 1115 00:56:56,692 --> 00:56:58,233 I don't know. 1116 00:56:58,317 --> 00:57:00,233 Martin says it's over three million pounds worth. 1117 00:57:00,317 --> 00:57:02,525 No co-drivers 'cause of COVID. 1118 00:57:02,608 --> 00:57:04,817 Carrying it to where? 1119 00:57:04,900 --> 00:57:08,525 Uh, the docket says Heathrow. Ten o'clock flight to New York. 1120 00:57:08,608 --> 00:57:10,900 Harrods to Heathrow, Saturday night, 1121 00:57:10,983 --> 00:57:13,317 three million pounds, ten o'clock flight. 1122 00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:15,233 Look, there's the hedgehog. 1123 00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:19,192 Oh, no, he's gone. 1124 00:57:19,275 --> 00:57:20,942 [rain pattering] 1125 00:57:21,025 --> 00:57:22,483 Ah, he's gone. 1126 00:57:24,442 --> 00:57:25,692 How was your evening? 1127 00:57:26,608 --> 00:57:28,983 Okay, um, Paxton. Here it is. 1128 00:57:29,067 --> 00:57:31,858 You can't do that pick-up at Harrods on Saturday. 1129 00:57:31,942 --> 00:57:34,317 You really can't. 1130 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:35,650 What are you talking about? 1131 00:57:35,733 --> 00:57:37,567 Okay, do you remember once I asked you, 1132 00:57:37,650 --> 00:57:39,108 do you believe in God, and you said that 1133 00:57:39,192 --> 00:57:42,275 you believe that he's busy on another project, 1134 00:57:42,358 --> 00:57:43,858 but occasionally he puts his head around the door? 1135 00:57:43,942 --> 00:57:45,942 Well, I think this may be one of those occasions, 1136 00:57:46,025 --> 00:57:49,942 'cause God or fate or the virus or somebody put our paths on the cross. 1137 00:57:50,025 --> 00:57:51,525 [inhales] 1138 00:57:51,608 --> 00:57:53,525 On Saturday, I will be in Harrods packing up the cargo 1139 00:57:53,608 --> 00:57:55,358 that you are due to carry. 1140 00:57:55,442 --> 00:57:57,025 Fuck. 1141 00:57:57,108 --> 00:57:58,733 What are you talkin' about? I... 1142 00:57:59,483 --> 00:58:01,858 I have to do the pick-up. 1143 00:58:01,942 --> 00:58:03,692 If you do, you will be caught. 1144 00:58:03,775 --> 00:58:05,400 It doesn't matter what name you're using. 1145 00:58:05,483 --> 00:58:07,025 It's a fake name and I have implemented cross-checks. 1146 00:58:07,108 --> 00:58:08,692 You won't make it past the door. 1147 00:58:08,775 --> 00:58:12,150 I know, because it's my system that will stop you! 1148 00:58:18,942 --> 00:58:21,858 I'm sorry. And what the fuck, don't even begin. 1149 00:58:21,942 --> 00:58:25,025 I can't fucking get anywhere! 1150 00:58:29,733 --> 00:58:31,650 I mean... 1151 00:58:31,733 --> 00:58:33,442 Can't you just tell them that you know me? 1152 00:58:33,525 --> 00:58:34,900 That... 1153 00:58:34,983 --> 00:58:37,942 That you know I can be trusted. That I am your... 1154 00:58:39,358 --> 00:58:41,358 That I was your partner. 1155 00:58:45,233 --> 00:58:47,025 - What? - It doesn't work like that. 1156 00:58:47,525 --> 00:58:48,900 And I... 1157 00:58:50,942 --> 00:58:52,650 Since joining Miracore three years ago, 1158 00:58:52,733 --> 00:58:55,400 I haven't told anyone I have a partner. 1159 00:58:55,483 --> 00:58:58,233 Partly because I wanted to keep work separate. 1160 00:58:58,317 --> 00:59:00,233 Yeah, but mostly because you were embarrassed 1161 00:59:00,317 --> 00:59:01,858 to have a partner that drives a van. 1162 00:59:04,233 --> 00:59:07,108 Yes. All of the above. I... [exhales] 1163 00:59:07,192 --> 00:59:09,317 But now, I am looking at myself. 1164 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,275 Since lockdown, I'm looking back at myself 1165 00:59:11,358 --> 00:59:13,025 like that was then and this is now. 1166 00:59:13,108 --> 00:59:14,733 Well, good for you, Linda, 1167 00:59:14,817 --> 00:59:16,317 but if I don't make this collection on Saturday night, 1168 00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:19,733 then, not only will Malcolm not promote me, 1169 00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:21,150 he will fire me. 1170 00:59:22,858 --> 00:59:25,275 I could always start dealing heroin. 1171 00:59:26,358 --> 00:59:27,942 Lowlife is lowlife. 1172 00:59:31,025 --> 00:59:34,400 No job. No bike. 1173 00:59:36,858 --> 00:59:37,900 No you. 1174 00:59:49,733 --> 00:59:53,150 When I worked at Harrods, I had so much fun. 1175 00:59:53,233 --> 00:59:55,608 I knew everyone. Everyone knew me. 1176 00:59:55,692 --> 00:59:57,442 Most of them still work there... 1177 00:59:57,525 --> 00:59:59,025 Is there any possibility we might get back to me for a moment? 1178 00:59:59,108 --> 01:00:00,150 I mean, I'm the one whose life is fucked. 1179 01:00:00,233 --> 01:00:01,650 No, no, this is about you. 1180 01:00:01,733 --> 01:00:03,442 All right, I know all the security guards, everyone. 1181 01:00:03,525 --> 01:00:06,150 - I know the security systems. - So? 1182 01:00:06,233 --> 01:00:08,233 So there is a way for you to make your pick-up at Harrods 1183 01:00:08,317 --> 01:00:10,067 and deliver to Heathrow without getting caught. 1184 01:00:10,150 --> 01:00:12,442 You will get your promotion and I will get my stock removed 1185 01:00:12,525 --> 01:00:13,650 and no one will know. 1186 01:00:13,733 --> 01:00:15,525 But we will be breaking the law. 1187 01:00:15,608 --> 01:00:20,150 So you're gonna have to do absolutely everything I tell you to do. 1188 01:00:20,233 --> 01:00:23,400 [alarm ringing] 1189 01:00:43,608 --> 01:00:46,817 [Michael] Michael Morgan. Acting Deputy Head, Harrods' Events Security. 1190 01:00:46,900 --> 01:00:48,942 Yes, you are in my old department. 1191 01:00:49,025 --> 01:00:50,817 How's life at Harrods? 1192 01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,025 I only just joined. I used to be in the Royal Navy. 1193 01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:54,858 Oh, quite a change then. 1194 01:00:54,942 --> 01:00:57,358 Not really. No, Harrods is like a big ship. 1195 01:00:57,442 --> 01:00:58,900 [Linda] Oh. Okay. 1196 01:00:58,983 --> 01:01:01,442 I mean, there are, obviously, huge differences. 1197 01:01:01,525 --> 01:01:03,150 Of course. 1198 01:01:03,233 --> 01:01:05,025 Yeah, and not just in terms of the shape of the building 1199 01:01:05,108 --> 01:01:07,858 or the fact that it doesn't float. 1200 01:01:07,942 --> 01:01:09,858 - You know, it's... - Oh, yeah. 1201 01:01:09,942 --> 01:01:12,358 Yeah, the working environment must be very different, I imagine. 1202 01:01:12,442 --> 01:01:14,733 Yes, it is. Lot of women here. 1203 01:01:14,817 --> 01:01:16,192 - Yeah. - Yes. 1204 01:01:16,275 --> 01:01:18,067 Yeah, on the ship, there was only four. 1205 01:01:18,150 --> 01:01:19,775 And, uh, two of them were called Karen. 1206 01:01:19,858 --> 01:01:21,900 Called them Karen one and Karen two. 1207 01:01:21,983 --> 01:01:23,608 I think Kate's meant to be joining us? 1208 01:01:23,692 --> 01:01:25,233 - Kate Smith, yes, from Events. - Oh. 1209 01:01:25,317 --> 01:01:26,442 When I knew her, she was Kate Wiley. 1210 01:01:26,525 --> 01:01:28,733 She must have gotten married. 1211 01:01:28,817 --> 01:01:30,275 Yeah, she did get married, yeah, but it all went horribly wrong, I think. 1212 01:01:30,358 --> 01:01:32,317 Oh, sorry to hear that. 1213 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,317 What happened? 1214 01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:35,900 I don't know. They don't talk to me about that sort of thing. 1215 01:01:35,983 --> 01:01:37,858 - [laptop chimes] - Linda! 1216 01:01:37,942 --> 01:01:39,192 Katie! 1217 01:01:39,275 --> 01:01:40,900 Oh my God, Oh, my God. How are you? 1218 01:01:40,983 --> 01:01:43,233 Oh, my gosh. You know, I'm surviving. 1219 01:01:43,317 --> 01:01:44,733 Linda, you have gone off like a rocket! 1220 01:01:44,817 --> 01:01:45,983 - Oh, stop. - I mean, my God. 1221 01:01:46,067 --> 01:01:47,567 When they said CEO Miracore, 1222 01:01:47,650 --> 01:01:49,567 I thought, "Okay, God, some bald man," 1223 01:01:49,650 --> 01:01:51,733 - but then I saw your name. - [Linda laughs] 1224 01:01:51,817 --> 01:01:54,858 Linda was just asking what went wrong with your marriage. She... 1225 01:01:54,942 --> 01:01:57,775 - was just askin'. - No. No, no, no. I wasn't. I didn't. 1226 01:01:57,858 --> 01:01:59,442 When a man is shorter than you 1227 01:01:59,525 --> 01:02:00,942 and then suddenly decides 1228 01:02:01,025 --> 01:02:02,817 to let his beard grow very, very long 1229 01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:05,233 and then becomes obsessed with so called "white magic," 1230 01:02:05,317 --> 01:02:07,275 it can just get very creepy very quickly. 1231 01:02:07,358 --> 01:02:09,442 - [Linda chuckles] - Anyway, what can we do for you? 1232 01:02:09,525 --> 01:02:11,567 [Linda] I have an update about the Eve Schwarz clear-out on Saturday. 1233 01:02:11,650 --> 01:02:13,483 You see, all the secure freight companies have been booked 1234 01:02:13,567 --> 01:02:16,025 and it looks like our logistics department was late to the party. 1235 01:02:16,108 --> 01:02:17,942 Eve Schwarz, Miracore. Here it is. 1236 01:02:18,025 --> 01:02:19,525 They've booked a freight company that I've never used before, 1237 01:02:19,608 --> 01:02:20,858 so that's why I'm anxious. 1238 01:02:20,942 --> 01:02:23,150 Lime green is the color and, uh... 1239 01:02:23,233 --> 01:02:24,942 [Katie] So you're anxious about the freight company? 1240 01:02:25,025 --> 01:02:26,733 It's gonna be green arrows pointing... 1241 01:02:26,817 --> 01:02:28,150 So if it's okay with you, 1242 01:02:28,233 --> 01:02:29,858 I know the Harrods security system 1243 01:02:29,942 --> 01:02:31,775 and I'd like to run the checks on the driver myself. 1244 01:02:31,858 --> 01:02:33,442 Oh, no, no, that's Imran's job. That's... 1245 01:02:33,525 --> 01:02:35,150 Do you remember Imran, Linda? 1246 01:02:35,233 --> 01:02:36,567 I love Imran... 1247 01:02:36,650 --> 01:02:37,650 Imran is now head of Events security. 1248 01:02:37,733 --> 01:02:39,150 He's Michael's boss. 1249 01:02:39,233 --> 01:02:40,275 You got any questions. I can handle everything. 1250 01:02:40,358 --> 01:02:41,858 Let me text him now. 1251 01:02:41,942 --> 01:02:42,817 Don't, I'm gonna be the one with the arrows. So... 1252 01:02:42,900 --> 01:02:43,817 [knock on door] 1253 01:02:43,900 --> 01:02:44,900 [door opens] 1254 01:02:45,942 --> 01:02:47,233 Okay. Done. 1255 01:02:47,317 --> 01:02:48,483 Tomorrow, I'll run you through the system myself 1256 01:02:48,567 --> 01:02:49,775 and then get you into the store. 1257 01:02:49,858 --> 01:02:51,025 After that, what can go wrong? 1258 01:02:51,108 --> 01:02:53,483 Hey, great. Thanks. 1259 01:02:53,567 --> 01:02:55,650 I really appreciate you doing this for me. 1260 01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:01,025 - What's the matter? - I don't know. 1261 01:03:01,108 --> 01:03:02,733 Days are passing quickly. 1262 01:03:04,608 --> 01:03:05,817 When I woke up this morning, 1263 01:03:05,900 --> 01:03:08,650 it really hit me for the first time. 1264 01:03:08,733 --> 01:03:11,067 The reality of what's happening hit me. 1265 01:03:12,567 --> 01:03:14,608 The lockdown will eventually end. 1266 01:03:15,692 --> 01:03:16,692 Then... 1267 01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,442 the love of my life will be gone. 1268 01:03:22,775 --> 01:03:26,025 Paxton, you will move on from this. You will heal. 1269 01:03:26,108 --> 01:03:29,067 There'll be a huge hole in my life. 1270 01:03:29,150 --> 01:03:32,733 You'll change and grow. And... 1271 01:03:34,442 --> 01:03:36,858 Eventually you'll... 1272 01:03:36,942 --> 01:03:38,108 you'll meet someone else. 1273 01:03:44,108 --> 01:03:46,358 You were talking about the bike, weren't you? 1274 01:03:46,942 --> 01:03:48,192 Yeah. Why? 1275 01:03:50,067 --> 01:03:54,525 [chuckles] The bike is one of the loves of my life. 1276 01:03:54,608 --> 01:03:55,775 And I am one of the holes? 1277 01:03:55,858 --> 01:03:57,442 Obviously you're the biggest hole. 1278 01:03:57,525 --> 01:03:58,567 Oh, why, thank you. 1279 01:03:58,650 --> 01:04:00,442 [Paxton laughs] 1280 01:04:00,525 --> 01:04:02,900 I was gonna take the bike out today. 1281 01:04:02,983 --> 01:04:06,108 The streets are completely deserted. 1282 01:04:06,192 --> 01:04:08,692 I was gonna call it "Lockdown-one-last-ride." 1283 01:04:09,442 --> 01:04:10,942 I thought maybe... 1284 01:04:12,108 --> 01:04:14,525 Oh, no, I can't go with you, Paxton. 1285 01:04:14,608 --> 01:04:16,358 No. I have an important meeting. 1286 01:04:20,983 --> 01:04:23,525 An open road and a broken heart. 1287 01:04:25,317 --> 01:04:26,733 Don't kill yourself. 1288 01:04:32,233 --> 01:04:33,942 - Linda! - Michael. 1289 01:04:34,733 --> 01:04:36,775 How are you coping? 1290 01:04:36,858 --> 01:04:38,442 You know, it's been quite difficult. 1291 01:04:38,525 --> 01:04:40,692 - [laughs] I can imagine. - Mmm. 1292 01:04:40,775 --> 01:04:42,650 - [motorbike engine starts] - You know, I'm locked up on a mountaintop 1293 01:04:42,733 --> 01:04:44,942 with only eagles and bears and my family for company. 1294 01:04:45,025 --> 01:04:46,817 [Linda whispers] Please don't kill yourself. 1295 01:04:46,900 --> 01:04:48,317 What? 1296 01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:50,900 I said it must be nice to have time to yourself. 1297 01:04:50,983 --> 01:04:53,942 Anyway, before we get on to the exciting business of you 1298 01:04:54,025 --> 01:04:56,192 and your big decision to come home to New York, 1299 01:04:56,275 --> 01:04:59,483 the good news is that we have found a buyer for the Harris Diamond. 1300 01:04:59,567 --> 01:05:01,442 Uh, actually, I haven't decided to come home to New York. 1301 01:05:01,525 --> 01:05:04,567 The buyer saw the diamond on the virtual presentation 1302 01:05:04,650 --> 01:05:06,900 that you put together ahead of the store takeover. 1303 01:05:06,983 --> 01:05:08,817 That's great. Who is it? 1304 01:05:08,900 --> 01:05:11,817 [laughs] In our new world, Linda, 1305 01:05:11,900 --> 01:05:13,442 one does not ask who. He's anonymous. 1306 01:05:13,525 --> 01:05:15,650 But I can tell you this. He's, um... 1307 01:05:15,733 --> 01:05:18,192 A very unpleasant member of a very unpleasant family 1308 01:05:18,275 --> 01:05:22,525 who run a very unpleasant country in a very unpleasant way. 1309 01:05:22,608 --> 01:05:23,900 Oh. 1310 01:05:23,983 --> 01:05:26,025 He is facilitating Miracore in his country 1311 01:05:26,108 --> 01:05:28,817 and so I've brokered the purchase of the diamond personally. 1312 01:05:28,900 --> 01:05:31,650 Harrods themselves will have nothing to do with him, 1313 01:05:31,733 --> 01:05:34,650 so I have acted as go-between. 1314 01:05:35,775 --> 01:05:37,525 Hurray for us, no? 1315 01:05:37,608 --> 01:05:39,233 Yes, hurray for us. 1316 01:05:39,317 --> 01:05:42,233 Uh, will he be wanting to pick up the diamond in person? 1317 01:05:42,317 --> 01:05:45,775 He is not allowed into the UK. Something to do with, um... 1318 01:05:45,858 --> 01:05:48,525 Money laundering? Human rights abuses? 1319 01:05:48,608 --> 01:05:51,442 Anyway, the big question, Linda, 1320 01:05:51,525 --> 01:05:54,733 the issue at hand here is the future of Linda. 1321 01:05:54,817 --> 01:05:56,525 When will you be coming home? 1322 01:05:57,317 --> 01:05:58,817 Um... 1323 01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:01,317 Well, I've decided to leave my decision about New York 1324 01:06:01,400 --> 01:06:03,483 until after lockdown is lifted. 1325 01:06:03,567 --> 01:06:07,442 - Okay. - I have lots of ties in London. 1326 01:06:07,525 --> 01:06:09,650 Uh-huh. I was told that you're single. 1327 01:06:12,108 --> 01:06:13,608 [chuckles] 1328 01:06:13,692 --> 01:06:17,400 Actually, that was never true, but actually now it is. 1329 01:06:17,483 --> 01:06:21,525 The fact that you are single is one of the reasons I want you to come to New York. 1330 01:06:21,608 --> 01:06:23,692 I'm planning to get to know more about you. 1331 01:06:23,775 --> 01:06:24,858 You... 1332 01:06:24,942 --> 01:06:26,400 You fascinate me, Linda. 1333 01:06:26,483 --> 01:06:28,442 So tough on the outside, 1334 01:06:29,108 --> 01:06:30,317 but inside, 1335 01:06:31,483 --> 01:06:32,692 are you tough? 1336 01:06:35,817 --> 01:06:37,983 Do you remember when you came to Paris? 1337 01:06:38,067 --> 01:06:39,733 That evening, after the meeting, 1338 01:06:39,817 --> 01:06:41,567 I was going to take you out to dinner. 1339 01:06:41,650 --> 01:06:45,858 I was actually going to try to seduce you that night. 1340 01:06:45,942 --> 01:06:50,150 Well, I can only speculate what kind of evening that might have been. 1341 01:06:50,233 --> 01:06:54,233 But I suspect it would have involved broken glass. 1342 01:06:54,317 --> 01:06:56,317 Anyway, uh, should I send the diamond 1343 01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:58,150 to this probable mass murderer's home 1344 01:06:58,233 --> 01:07:01,317 or should I send it straight to his torture chamber? 1345 01:07:01,900 --> 01:07:03,192 What? 1346 01:07:03,275 --> 01:07:04,900 Where would you like me to send the diamond? 1347 01:07:06,025 --> 01:07:08,067 Ah, send it to New York. 1348 01:07:08,150 --> 01:07:10,942 Um, because of COVID, it will be couriered directly 1349 01:07:11,025 --> 01:07:13,442 to a safe vault in Wall Street. 1350 01:07:13,525 --> 01:07:15,567 There'll be no one to check it there, 1351 01:07:15,650 --> 01:07:20,108 so please make sure that the verification papers are in the box. 1352 01:07:20,192 --> 01:07:22,150 Got that? 1353 01:07:22,233 --> 01:07:25,108 - Um... - For many of our new wave of clients, 1354 01:07:25,192 --> 01:07:28,275 the act of acquisition is an end in itself. 1355 01:07:28,358 --> 01:07:30,650 Okay. See you in New York, Linda. Take care. 1356 01:07:30,733 --> 01:07:31,858 Well, I... 1357 01:07:31,942 --> 01:07:33,525 [call ends] 1358 01:07:37,733 --> 01:07:39,400 ♪ Stand and Deliver ♪ 1359 01:07:40,858 --> 01:07:42,275 ♪ I'm the dandy highwayman ♪ 1360 01:07:42,358 --> 01:07:43,942 ♪ Who you're too scared To mention ♪ 1361 01:07:44,025 --> 01:07:45,817 ♪ I spend my cash On looking flash ♪ 1362 01:07:45,900 --> 01:07:47,817 ♪ And grabbing your attention ♪ 1363 01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:50,775 ♪ The devil take your stereo And your record collection ♪ 1364 01:07:50,858 --> 01:07:52,525 ♪ The way you look You'll qualify ♪ 1365 01:07:52,608 --> 01:07:54,275 ♪ For next year's Old age pension ♪ 1366 01:07:54,358 --> 01:07:59,525 ♪ Stand and deliver Your money or your life ♪ 1367 01:08:01,108 --> 01:08:07,108 ♪ Try and use a mirror No bullet or a knife ♪ 1368 01:08:07,192 --> 01:08:08,567 [siren blaring] 1369 01:08:08,650 --> 01:08:10,233 [Linda screams] 1370 01:08:11,442 --> 01:08:13,942 ♪ No bullet or a knife ♪ 1371 01:08:15,692 --> 01:08:17,150 [Linda] Don't be ridiculous, Linda. 1372 01:08:17,233 --> 01:08:18,483 [panting] 1373 01:08:18,567 --> 01:08:20,192 [reporter on TV] A shortage of medical masks, 1374 01:08:20,275 --> 01:08:22,275 people are making their own from old clothing. 1375 01:08:22,358 --> 01:08:24,983 But the WHO said it doesn't know whether homemade masks... 1376 01:08:25,067 --> 01:08:26,358 [Linda] Hey. 1377 01:08:26,442 --> 01:08:27,483 - Where'd you go? - [Paxton exhales] 1378 01:08:27,567 --> 01:08:28,650 Peckham Rye. 1379 01:08:28,733 --> 01:08:31,150 - Why? - I don't know. 1380 01:08:31,233 --> 01:08:32,733 What do you mean, you don't know? 1381 01:08:32,817 --> 01:08:34,192 I was just driving really, really fast, [laughs] 1382 01:08:34,275 --> 01:08:36,442 because I was being chased by the police. 1383 01:08:36,525 --> 01:08:38,692 - What? - I was playing a new lockdown game. 1384 01:08:39,858 --> 01:08:41,650 Green for stop, red for go. 1385 01:08:41,733 --> 01:08:42,817 Fuck! 1386 01:08:42,900 --> 01:08:44,108 Did they get your license number? 1387 01:08:44,192 --> 01:08:45,817 No, I'm too fast for 'em. 1388 01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:48,067 I'm a streak of light on an empty road in a deserted city. 1389 01:08:48,150 --> 01:08:49,983 I'm the last man alive. 1390 01:08:50,067 --> 01:08:53,067 I let the road direct me and I achieved that moment of transcendence 1391 01:08:53,150 --> 01:08:55,233 where the bike becomes part of your body. 1392 01:08:55,317 --> 01:08:58,983 I found myself in South London on some sort of urban farm with a petting zoo 1393 01:08:59,067 --> 01:09:00,692 and I hid among the goats. 1394 01:09:00,775 --> 01:09:03,025 Remember the goat was my totem animal when we were pagans. 1395 01:09:03,108 --> 01:09:07,525 I sat with the goats and then resumed my journey as the police cars drove past. 1396 01:09:07,608 --> 01:09:09,192 I was in Peckham. 1397 01:09:09,275 --> 01:09:10,608 I bought you cigarettes. 1398 01:09:10,692 --> 01:09:12,358 And I had one myself. 1399 01:09:12,442 --> 01:09:15,067 My first real, real one in ten years. 1400 01:09:15,150 --> 01:09:18,525 And you were right, tobacco tastes like youth! 1401 01:09:18,608 --> 01:09:20,858 And real is real, and real tobacco is me really, 1402 01:09:20,942 --> 01:09:22,275 and I want another one right now 1403 01:09:22,358 --> 01:09:23,858 and I'm gonna have one. 1404 01:09:23,942 --> 01:09:25,525 [breathes heavily] 1405 01:09:26,442 --> 01:09:28,317 [indistinct talking on TV] 1406 01:09:37,525 --> 01:09:40,650 You have a look in your eyes I haven't seen in a long time. 1407 01:09:40,733 --> 01:09:42,275 I don't mean to frighten you. 1408 01:09:43,067 --> 01:09:44,317 I'm not frightened. 1409 01:09:46,025 --> 01:09:49,900 Remember I told you about the glass horse and jockey in Paris? 1410 01:09:49,983 --> 01:09:53,733 No, I'm still with the goats. They had blue eyes. 1411 01:09:53,817 --> 01:09:55,858 I held the horse and jockey by the jockey 1412 01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:58,233 and swung it around and... 1413 01:09:58,317 --> 01:10:00,317 And I remembered how it felt to be a rider 1414 01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:03,650 and to feel like you're a part of the thing that you are riding. 1415 01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,317 It's a sexual feeling. 1416 01:10:06,358 --> 01:10:07,567 Yeah, it is. 1417 01:10:07,650 --> 01:10:10,858 [exhales] I now wish I'd come with you. 1418 01:10:11,483 --> 01:10:12,775 Really? 1419 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,275 Paxton, 1420 01:10:15,358 --> 01:10:18,900 for a long time, I've known that our relationship was over. 1421 01:10:18,983 --> 01:10:22,192 And for a long time, the only unbroken thread between us has been sex. 1422 01:10:23,483 --> 01:10:24,775 Go on. 1423 01:10:24,858 --> 01:10:27,567 I'm finding this moment difficult because... 1424 01:10:27,650 --> 01:10:29,400 I made a vow this wouldn't happen, 1425 01:10:29,483 --> 01:10:32,358 so could you just take the leather jacket off 1426 01:10:32,442 --> 01:10:34,108 and go hold a tea towel or something? 1427 01:10:34,192 --> 01:10:36,358 - Hold a tea towel? - Or buy some milk, it would help me. 1428 01:10:36,442 --> 01:10:39,275 - We have milk. - Or bake bread. That would definitely kill the moment. 1429 01:10:39,358 --> 01:10:41,608 I just want to get on my bike and ride 1430 01:10:41,692 --> 01:10:43,067 and fuck the world. 1431 01:10:46,150 --> 01:10:48,817 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1432 01:10:50,400 --> 01:10:52,275 Probably as a result of lockdown, 1433 01:10:52,358 --> 01:10:54,775 you have a mad urge to ride your motorbike through red lights. 1434 01:10:54,858 --> 01:10:56,692 And as of two hours ago, I have a mad urge 1435 01:10:56,775 --> 01:10:58,317 to steal a diamond worth three million pounds 1436 01:10:58,400 --> 01:10:59,650 from a mass murderer 1437 01:10:59,733 --> 01:11:00,942 and quit my job and become an artist. 1438 01:11:01,025 --> 01:11:02,150 [snickers] What? 1439 01:11:02,233 --> 01:11:03,900 But I think the most practical thing 1440 01:11:03,983 --> 01:11:05,608 we can do to get this madness out of our system 1441 01:11:05,692 --> 01:11:08,442 is that I break my vow and we go upstairs right now 1442 01:11:08,525 --> 01:11:10,025 and have sex. 1443 01:11:10,108 --> 01:11:12,067 "Lockdown-one-last-ride." 1444 01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:15,983 Goats, now this. 1445 01:11:16,067 --> 01:11:17,775 What a fucking day. 1446 01:11:19,108 --> 01:11:21,233 [classical music playing] 1447 01:11:26,483 --> 01:11:29,858 Hi. Yeah, she's, uh, she's just changing. [chuckles] 1448 01:11:30,650 --> 01:11:32,233 Oh, by the way, 1449 01:11:32,317 --> 01:11:34,483 you ever heard of a poet called Edgar Allan Poe? 1450 01:11:34,567 --> 01:11:36,608 - What? - Yeah, never mind. 1451 01:11:36,692 --> 01:11:38,483 All right. One second. 1452 01:11:38,567 --> 01:11:40,025 [man on radio] You're listening to Drive Time with Dominic. 1453 01:11:40,108 --> 01:11:42,275 And this is George Frideric Handel. 1454 01:11:42,358 --> 01:11:44,025 [classical music playing] 1455 01:11:56,233 --> 01:11:59,692 [automated voice on phone] Please hang up or press the hash key for more options. 1456 01:11:59,775 --> 01:12:02,733 Uh, Linda, I'm just calling to say that 1457 01:12:02,817 --> 01:12:04,525 I know this afternoon didn't mean anything, 1458 01:12:04,608 --> 01:12:09,108 but I want you to know that it would have felt like, uh... 1459 01:12:10,067 --> 01:12:11,358 like South Dakota 1460 01:12:11,442 --> 01:12:13,150 that afternoon when it rained. 1461 01:12:14,275 --> 01:12:15,983 And also, I have this bizarre memory 1462 01:12:16,067 --> 01:12:18,567 that just before we strayed from the path of righteousness, 1463 01:12:18,650 --> 01:12:20,775 you said something about stealing a diamond. 1464 01:12:20,858 --> 01:12:22,525 [Paxton over phone] ...you said something about stealing a diamond. 1465 01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:25,067 Did I imagine that? 1466 01:12:25,150 --> 01:12:27,733 - [Linda] Oh, God! - [woman speaks indistinctly over phone] 1467 01:12:27,817 --> 01:12:29,025 Thank you. 1468 01:12:32,983 --> 01:12:36,400 No, Grandma, I am not seriously considering it. 1469 01:12:42,942 --> 01:12:44,692 [alarm ringing] 1470 01:12:46,483 --> 01:12:47,608 Fuck. 1471 01:12:53,983 --> 01:12:55,900 [alarm ringing] 1472 01:12:59,817 --> 01:13:03,483 [reporter on TV] This is where the patients usually recover post-surgery. 1473 01:13:03,567 --> 01:13:07,942 But now, it's needed for COVID-19 overflow from intensive care. 1474 01:13:08,025 --> 01:13:11,525 Hospitals are having to adapt their spaces and practices 1475 01:13:11,608 --> 01:13:13,858 to be able to deal with Coronavirus. 1476 01:13:13,942 --> 01:13:16,067 [nurse on TV] I've been a nurse in ICU for 18 years 1477 01:13:16,150 --> 01:13:17,858 - and I've never seen... - [TV shuts off] 1478 01:13:26,025 --> 01:13:27,233 All right. 1479 01:13:28,108 --> 01:13:30,942 Big Saturday. Harrods. 1480 01:13:33,108 --> 01:13:35,067 The grand deception. 1481 01:13:35,150 --> 01:13:37,483 You have to tell me exactly what it is we have to do. 1482 01:13:38,858 --> 01:13:39,983 Paxton... 1483 01:13:41,192 --> 01:13:42,442 [grunts softly] 1484 01:13:42,525 --> 01:13:44,067 Sit down. Wait there. 1485 01:13:48,233 --> 01:13:51,483 This is just us organizing what it is that we're gonna do, okay? 1486 01:13:51,567 --> 01:13:53,067 It's nothing else. 1487 01:13:53,150 --> 01:13:54,692 Why, what else would it be? 1488 01:13:54,775 --> 01:13:56,067 Nothing. Why do you ask? 1489 01:13:57,358 --> 01:13:58,817 Are you okay? 1490 01:13:58,900 --> 01:14:02,942 Me? I am okay. I am intensely okay and normal. 1491 01:14:03,025 --> 01:14:04,775 Okay. Background. 1492 01:14:04,858 --> 01:14:10,317 Harrods. The top part is the public area. 1493 01:14:10,400 --> 01:14:13,817 But below ground, there are seven floors. 1494 01:14:13,900 --> 01:14:15,733 Floors where merchandise is stored 1495 01:14:15,817 --> 01:14:17,067 and lots of tunnels 1496 01:14:17,150 --> 01:14:19,567 where expensive items such as jewelry 1497 01:14:19,650 --> 01:14:21,317 are transported to secure elevators. 1498 01:14:21,400 --> 01:14:22,983 All grown up and glamorous above 1499 01:14:23,067 --> 01:14:25,192 and efficient and scary below. 1500 01:14:25,275 --> 01:14:27,358 Security at Harrods is unbelievably tight, 1501 01:14:27,442 --> 01:14:28,650 it would be impossible to get inside 1502 01:14:28,733 --> 01:14:30,650 to actually steal something. 1503 01:14:30,733 --> 01:14:31,900 Steal? 1504 01:14:31,983 --> 01:14:34,442 Who's talking about stealing anything? 1505 01:14:34,525 --> 01:14:36,567 Everything is normal. Paxton, stop being weird. 1506 01:14:36,650 --> 01:14:39,358 It's not me being weird. 1507 01:14:39,442 --> 01:14:41,483 I mean, you clearly appear to have a hidden agenda, 1508 01:14:41,567 --> 01:14:43,692 which is not really that hidden, but I don't know what it is. 1509 01:14:43,775 --> 01:14:46,942 Also, you've got a smudge above your eye. 1510 01:14:47,025 --> 01:14:49,692 Did you get my message on your phone last night? 1511 01:14:49,775 --> 01:14:51,483 About South Dakota? 1512 01:14:52,317 --> 01:14:53,692 And about a diamond. 1513 01:14:53,775 --> 01:14:56,692 Paxton, what is the matter with you? 1514 01:14:56,775 --> 01:14:58,858 - There's nothing the matter with me. - Seriously? 1515 01:14:58,942 --> 01:15:02,858 Yesterday, you were talking about stealing a diamond. 1516 01:15:02,942 --> 01:15:04,942 You were, I'm not imagining it. 1517 01:15:05,025 --> 01:15:07,900 And today, you are drawing Harrods like it's, uh, 1518 01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:10,567 some kind of secret plan in a secret heist movie. 1519 01:15:10,650 --> 01:15:14,817 How can you draw a rectangle like you're in a secret plan? I don't... 1520 01:15:14,900 --> 01:15:16,400 Do you have a secret plan? 1521 01:15:17,275 --> 01:15:19,692 You know... [chuckles] 1522 01:15:19,775 --> 01:15:21,567 I saw my grandmother's face yesterday. 1523 01:15:21,650 --> 01:15:24,233 I told her, "It's okay, Grandma, I am fine. 1524 01:15:24,317 --> 01:15:26,233 I'm not going to do anything stupid." 1525 01:15:26,317 --> 01:15:28,900 You said the diamond is called a Harris Diamond. 1526 01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,400 Oh, Paxton, come on. 1527 01:15:31,483 --> 01:15:33,608 It's Saturday. It's morning. 1528 01:15:33,692 --> 01:15:38,650 All the weird 4:00 a.m. fantasies and options have gone away as they always do. 1529 01:15:38,733 --> 01:15:40,650 Tell me about the diamond. 1530 01:15:43,358 --> 01:15:45,900 There are two Harris Diamonds. 1531 01:15:45,983 --> 01:15:49,650 - What? - There are two Harris Diamonds, okay. God! 1532 01:15:49,733 --> 01:15:51,942 - Why are there two? - [exhales deeply] 1533 01:15:52,025 --> 01:15:54,817 Do you think I slept at all last night, Paxton? 1534 01:15:54,900 --> 01:15:57,025 Well actually, no, I didn't. 1535 01:15:57,108 --> 01:15:58,942 And what was it that kept you awake? 1536 01:16:00,983 --> 01:16:03,858 Harris Diamond one, Harris Diamond two. 1537 01:16:03,942 --> 01:16:09,108 One is real, the other is fake. 1538 01:16:09,192 --> 01:16:11,275 Whenever a diamond of this value is exhibited in store, 1539 01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:12,525 they use a replica of the real thing 1540 01:16:12,608 --> 01:16:14,108 to put into the public area. 1541 01:16:14,192 --> 01:16:16,733 The actual diamond is kept safe in the vaults. 1542 01:16:16,817 --> 01:16:19,400 Currently, the replica 1543 01:16:19,483 --> 01:16:22,067 is on display here on the ground floor. 1544 01:16:22,150 --> 01:16:27,858 But your real Harris Diamond is here in the vaults. 1545 01:16:27,942 --> 01:16:29,442 Tonight, at exactly 7:00 p.m., 1546 01:16:29,525 --> 01:16:30,817 you and I will be escorted to the vaults by security 1547 01:16:30,900 --> 01:16:32,567 to collect the real Harris Diamond. 1548 01:16:32,650 --> 01:16:34,650 We will then go up the ground floor 1549 01:16:34,733 --> 01:16:37,150 in a secure elevator where we add the diamond 1550 01:16:37,233 --> 01:16:39,025 to the rest of the Eve Schwarz collection. 1551 01:16:39,108 --> 01:16:41,275 Then, right there at 7:30 p.m., we will have the real diamond 1552 01:16:41,358 --> 01:16:43,775 and the very good replica diamond, side by side, 1553 01:16:43,858 --> 01:16:45,858 next to each other, almost indistinguishable. 1554 01:16:45,942 --> 01:16:47,608 And because of COVID restrictions, 1555 01:16:47,692 --> 01:16:51,775 the only people that will be there are you and me. 1556 01:16:51,858 --> 01:16:55,150 So, then we put the real diamond into a secure box 1557 01:16:55,233 --> 01:16:56,983 and send it to New York, and we take the glass replica 1558 01:16:57,067 --> 01:16:58,858 and I put it in my purse, we take it away for disposal, 1559 01:16:58,942 --> 01:17:00,567 and that is what we are going to fucking do, 1560 01:17:00,650 --> 01:17:03,650 exactly that and nothing else. Grandma, I love you. 1561 01:17:06,067 --> 01:17:07,650 May I ask a very obvious question? 1562 01:17:07,733 --> 01:17:09,150 No, you may not. 1563 01:17:09,233 --> 01:17:12,067 What would happen if we sent the replica to New York 1564 01:17:12,150 --> 01:17:13,483 and kept the real thing? 1565 01:17:13,567 --> 01:17:15,567 I'm assuming that as soon as it got to New York, 1566 01:17:15,650 --> 01:17:18,317 someone would realize that it was fake. 1567 01:17:18,400 --> 01:17:20,608 No, they wouldn't. 1568 01:17:20,692 --> 01:17:23,317 That is why I couldn't sleep. 1569 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:25,567 Whichever one we send to New York, 1570 01:17:25,650 --> 01:17:27,733 it will go into a secure vault in Wall Street 1571 01:17:27,817 --> 01:17:29,733 and won't even be looked at by another human being 1572 01:17:29,817 --> 01:17:32,442 for 20, 50, 100 years. 1573 01:17:32,525 --> 01:17:33,775 Holy fuck. 1574 01:17:35,775 --> 01:17:39,358 Three million pounds, tax free. 1575 01:17:40,150 --> 01:17:41,233 No consequences. 1576 01:17:41,317 --> 01:17:42,525 One for me, one for you, one for the NHS. 1577 01:17:42,608 --> 01:17:43,692 You have thought about this. 1578 01:17:43,775 --> 01:17:46,858 You know, I need to go meditate. 1579 01:17:46,942 --> 01:17:49,025 Are you sure they won't check it in New York? 1580 01:17:49,108 --> 01:17:50,317 Shut up. I need to meditate. 1581 01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:51,817 What were you going to say? 1582 01:17:53,067 --> 01:17:54,817 The man who bought the diamond is bad. 1583 01:17:54,900 --> 01:17:56,775 He's really bad, and you and I are good. 1584 01:17:56,858 --> 01:17:59,067 And the NHS is good. And good is better than bad. 1585 01:17:59,150 --> 01:18:00,525 When I explained all that to Grandma, 1586 01:18:00,608 --> 01:18:01,983 even she said, "Well, yeah, that's true." 1587 01:18:02,067 --> 01:18:04,525 And she was a Calvinist, straight as a rod. 1588 01:18:04,608 --> 01:18:07,775 Unlike me, who is weak in the face of temptation. 1589 01:18:07,858 --> 01:18:08,942 [inhales deeply] 1590 01:18:11,150 --> 01:18:12,858 Live wild or die, Linda. 1591 01:18:12,942 --> 01:18:15,858 Paxton, you're forgetting something very important, okay? 1592 01:18:15,942 --> 01:18:17,983 Assuming that we do this thing, 1593 01:18:18,067 --> 01:18:20,067 which we definitely won't, 1594 01:18:20,150 --> 01:18:22,400 how would two ordinary people like you and me 1595 01:18:22,483 --> 01:18:26,817 find a way to sell a three million pounds stolen diamond? 1596 01:18:26,900 --> 01:18:28,483 Okay, that was it. That was my last attempt 1597 01:18:28,567 --> 01:18:30,067 to find a logical reason why we shouldn't do this, 1598 01:18:30,150 --> 01:18:32,233 but you are going to say "Archie Bruce," aren't you? 1599 01:18:32,317 --> 01:18:33,817 Yes, I am. 1600 01:18:34,692 --> 01:18:35,733 Archie Bruce. 1601 01:18:37,192 --> 01:18:40,275 Over the years, I've kept up with the guys. 1602 01:18:40,358 --> 01:18:41,567 I mean, Archie Bruce, 1603 01:18:41,650 --> 01:18:43,608 he's graduated from stealing motorcycles 1604 01:18:43,692 --> 01:18:46,108 to stealing vintage cars 1605 01:18:46,192 --> 01:18:48,108 and fine art and jewelry. 1606 01:18:48,192 --> 01:18:51,275 I mean, he'd have Mr. Harris in a penthouse in Moscow 1607 01:18:51,358 --> 01:18:53,108 before the banging of the next saucepans. 1608 01:18:53,192 --> 01:18:54,775 And he'd do a preferential deal with you, 1609 01:18:54,858 --> 01:18:57,025 because you stepped in one night and saved his life 1610 01:18:57,108 --> 01:18:59,983 at a roadhouse in Watford. 1611 01:19:00,067 --> 01:19:01,650 Circle of life, something like that. 1612 01:19:02,192 --> 01:19:03,608 [sighs] 1613 01:19:03,692 --> 01:19:06,442 With Archie Bruce, the nightmare began. 1614 01:19:06,525 --> 01:19:08,817 Maybe with Archie Bruce, the nightmare ends. 1615 01:19:11,025 --> 01:19:15,608 So, what are we going to do, Linda? 1616 01:19:19,067 --> 01:19:21,858 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1617 01:19:24,108 --> 01:19:26,400 We decide tonight. 1618 01:19:26,483 --> 01:19:28,483 When we're there at Harrods with the diamonds, 1619 01:19:28,567 --> 01:19:30,150 we're gonna know what's right and what's wrong. 1620 01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:32,608 We'll decide in the moment. 1621 01:19:32,692 --> 01:19:34,108 Or let the moment decide. 1622 01:19:36,317 --> 01:19:37,400 What's the difference? 1623 01:19:37,483 --> 01:19:39,567 Fate versus free will. 1624 01:19:39,650 --> 01:19:41,400 Who controls our destiny? 1625 01:19:41,483 --> 01:19:42,775 Is everything part of a plan 1626 01:19:42,858 --> 01:19:44,817 or do we fuck things up for ourselves? 1627 01:19:46,442 --> 01:19:48,483 Tonight at 7:30, we find out. 1628 01:19:50,900 --> 01:19:53,733 [cell phone ringing] 1629 01:19:57,567 --> 01:19:58,650 Hey, half-brother. 1630 01:20:00,275 --> 01:20:02,692 What, now? You wanna Zoom? 1631 01:20:03,858 --> 01:20:05,775 All right, give me a minute. 1632 01:20:11,650 --> 01:20:12,733 [video chimes] 1633 01:20:12,817 --> 01:20:16,608 Ah, Paxton, how are you? 1634 01:20:16,692 --> 01:20:19,192 Actually, I am at a fork in the road. 1635 01:20:19,275 --> 01:20:21,608 Really? Then perhaps what I have to say 1636 01:20:21,692 --> 01:20:23,275 will have some bearing on which fork you take, 1637 01:20:23,358 --> 01:20:24,983 because it is sort of road related. 1638 01:20:25,067 --> 01:20:26,775 [David chuckles] 1639 01:20:26,858 --> 01:20:28,983 You see, Paxton, the other day when you said 1640 01:20:29,067 --> 01:20:30,692 you want to sell your motorcycle, 1641 01:20:30,775 --> 01:20:35,192 I thought, "Wait a minute. Time out. Not so fast." 1642 01:20:35,275 --> 01:20:40,525 And then, after I cut the call I thought about Mom. 1643 01:20:40,608 --> 01:20:41,983 Mum? 1644 01:20:42,067 --> 01:20:43,400 How she would feel about you having to sell 1645 01:20:43,483 --> 01:20:44,858 your most precious possession, 1646 01:20:44,942 --> 01:20:46,233 while at the same time, over here 1647 01:20:46,317 --> 01:20:48,067 in the beautiful Hudson Valley, 1648 01:20:48,150 --> 01:20:50,567 your brother, your half-brother isn't having it so bad. 1649 01:20:50,650 --> 01:20:55,108 You know, when the cherry trees in your orchard get a fungus, 1650 01:20:55,192 --> 01:20:57,817 it sucks, but there are worse things. 1651 01:20:59,983 --> 01:21:01,400 Yeah, not for the cherry tree. [chuckles] 1652 01:21:01,483 --> 01:21:02,733 Maybe worse for a cherry tree 1653 01:21:02,817 --> 01:21:04,275 is the steady tread of George Washington 1654 01:21:04,358 --> 01:21:05,608 as he approaches with an axe in his hand 1655 01:21:05,692 --> 01:21:07,567 and a head full of good intentions. 1656 01:21:07,650 --> 01:21:10,483 Anyway, I wondered what Mom would want me to do. 1657 01:21:10,567 --> 01:21:11,900 Well, remembering Mum, 1658 01:21:11,983 --> 01:21:13,567 I think she'd want you to get to the point. 1659 01:21:15,483 --> 01:21:18,067 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1660 01:21:19,567 --> 01:21:22,942 It is I who has bought your precious motorcycle. 1661 01:21:23,025 --> 01:21:25,775 The purchaser of your bike is me. 1662 01:21:25,858 --> 01:21:27,817 And I am giving it back to you. 1663 01:21:27,900 --> 01:21:30,608 My gesture, half-brother to half-brother. 1664 01:21:30,692 --> 01:21:33,692 Your bike is yours once more. 1665 01:21:33,775 --> 01:21:35,358 Don't thank me, Paxton. 1666 01:21:35,442 --> 01:21:36,983 Please. No need. 1667 01:21:37,067 --> 01:21:40,067 All I ask, the only thing I ask of you, Paxton, 1668 01:21:40,150 --> 01:21:43,275 is that you are kind to yourself from now on. 1669 01:21:43,358 --> 01:21:44,983 That you learn from this. 1670 01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:46,608 That the world does not hate you. 1671 01:21:46,692 --> 01:21:49,483 That, yes, sometimes fate seems harsh and cruel, 1672 01:21:49,567 --> 01:21:51,692 but people really do what good... 1673 01:21:51,775 --> 01:21:55,233 Hey, David, it's Linda. Hi! 1674 01:21:55,317 --> 01:21:57,775 Uh, Linda, I thought I was just speaking to Paxton. 1675 01:21:57,858 --> 01:21:59,942 Yes, I know. I heard, David, your magnificent gesture, 1676 01:22:00,025 --> 01:22:01,775 and I just... I couldn't stop myself, 1677 01:22:01,858 --> 01:22:03,567 I couldn't help myself. I just had to jump on the call 1678 01:22:03,650 --> 01:22:05,817 and say, "Oh, my God, David. 1679 01:22:05,900 --> 01:22:07,192 What kind of a person are you?" 1680 01:22:07,275 --> 01:22:08,775 David bought my fucking bike. 1681 01:22:08,858 --> 01:22:11,692 Yes, I heard. I heard, and then I heard the sermon, 1682 01:22:11,775 --> 01:22:13,025 and I thought, "Wow! 1683 01:22:13,108 --> 01:22:15,150 Not only is he so generous with his cash, 1684 01:22:15,233 --> 01:22:17,442 he is so free with his wisdom." 1685 01:22:19,400 --> 01:22:21,025 - [David] Anyway, Paxton, there it is... - No, no, no. 1686 01:22:21,108 --> 01:22:22,858 Don't let me interrupt this meaningful moment. 1687 01:22:22,942 --> 01:22:24,317 What is it that you were saying, David? 1688 01:22:24,400 --> 01:22:25,358 Something about fate being harsh and... 1689 01:22:25,442 --> 01:22:26,942 - [chimes] - ...cruel? 1690 01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:32,108 Hmm. 1691 01:22:37,233 --> 01:22:38,442 Why were you mad at him? 1692 01:22:38,525 --> 01:22:40,025 - [Linda] I wasn't mad. - Yes, you were. 1693 01:22:41,525 --> 01:22:43,108 It was you. 1694 01:22:43,192 --> 01:22:43,983 [chuckles] 1695 01:22:44,067 --> 01:22:45,567 You bought my bike. 1696 01:22:45,650 --> 01:22:48,858 Paxton, don't be ridiculous. You heard what David said. 1697 01:22:48,942 --> 01:22:51,150 David would never do something like that, 1698 01:22:51,233 --> 01:22:52,525 but he would take the credit. 1699 01:22:52,608 --> 01:22:54,192 Whereas you would do something like that 1700 01:22:54,275 --> 01:22:56,483 and give the credit to someone else. 1701 01:22:56,567 --> 01:22:58,275 You did it 'cause you felt sorry for me. 1702 01:23:00,192 --> 01:23:02,775 Yes, I worried about what would happen 1703 01:23:02,858 --> 01:23:04,900 if you lost everything. 1704 01:23:04,983 --> 01:23:07,233 Mainly because I didn't want anything bad on my conscience. 1705 01:23:07,317 --> 01:23:09,942 Confession avalanche, but also I... 1706 01:23:10,025 --> 01:23:12,192 I did it because the bike represents us. 1707 01:23:12,275 --> 01:23:13,858 - And... - No, no, no. 1708 01:23:13,942 --> 01:23:18,358 Pity is over here, all right, and love is way over here. 1709 01:23:18,442 --> 01:23:20,025 Don't pretend there is a bridge. 1710 01:23:22,275 --> 01:23:24,150 But would you still feel pity for a man 1711 01:23:24,233 --> 01:23:26,067 who'd just stolen a million pounds? 1712 01:23:28,567 --> 01:23:29,608 I'd be a millionaire, 1713 01:23:30,483 --> 01:23:32,567 and a bandido once again. 1714 01:23:34,317 --> 01:23:35,817 Maybe you'd change your mind. 1715 01:23:37,150 --> 01:23:39,067 Maybe we'd ride off into the sunset. 1716 01:23:39,983 --> 01:23:41,483 Paxton... 1717 01:23:41,567 --> 01:23:44,150 whatever we decide to do tonight, 1718 01:23:44,233 --> 01:23:45,567 we will go our separate ways. 1719 01:23:45,650 --> 01:23:48,400 The money would mean that we're both free. 1720 01:23:51,650 --> 01:23:52,692 Well, I will factor that 1721 01:23:52,775 --> 01:23:54,983 into my decision-making process. 1722 01:23:57,483 --> 01:23:58,817 Thanks for the bike. 1723 01:24:06,525 --> 01:24:08,067 [inhales deeply] 1724 01:24:09,442 --> 01:24:10,900 [chanting] Om... 1725 01:24:10,983 --> 01:24:12,942 [Paxton] Ladies and gentlemen... 1726 01:24:13,983 --> 01:24:15,150 fellow inmates... 1727 01:24:16,525 --> 01:24:18,650 I have something for you 1728 01:24:18,733 --> 01:24:20,942 before I head off on the number 27 bus 1729 01:24:21,025 --> 01:24:23,650 to meet my destiny. 1730 01:24:23,733 --> 01:24:26,192 It's a passage from a poem 1731 01:24:27,108 --> 01:24:30,025 written by T.S. Eliot, 1732 01:24:30,108 --> 01:24:31,900 who I'm sure no one has ever heard of either. 1733 01:24:34,108 --> 01:24:38,233 "She turns and looks a moment in the glass, 1734 01:24:38,317 --> 01:24:42,275 hardly aware of her departed lover. 1735 01:24:42,358 --> 01:24:46,400 Her brain allows one half-formed thought to pass. 1736 01:24:47,733 --> 01:24:51,733 Well, now that's done, and I'm glad it's over." 1737 01:24:56,233 --> 01:24:58,525 See you in the moment, Linda. 1738 01:25:00,733 --> 01:25:02,858 [music playing] 1739 01:25:16,192 --> 01:25:18,483 [Paxton] This could be the last bus I ever take. 1740 01:25:37,192 --> 01:25:39,275 Oh, I've decided to go by myself. Thanks. 1741 01:25:39,358 --> 01:25:41,192 - [driver] No problem. - Thank you. 1742 01:25:56,442 --> 01:25:57,983 [exhales] 1743 01:26:20,067 --> 01:26:25,400 [Martin] Do it, Paxton. Take the opportunity that fate has given you. 1744 01:26:25,483 --> 01:26:26,942 [Paxon grunts] 1745 01:26:32,733 --> 01:26:34,817 [engine starts] 1746 01:27:23,192 --> 01:27:24,692 [siren wailing] 1747 01:28:59,067 --> 01:29:00,483 [sighs] 1748 01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:05,275 - Hi, stranger. - [Charlotte] Oh, my God! 1749 01:29:05,358 --> 01:29:07,067 - [laughs] - I want to hug you. 1750 01:29:07,150 --> 01:29:08,567 I can't hug you, I can't hug you. 1751 01:29:08,650 --> 01:29:09,817 I hate this virus. 1752 01:29:09,900 --> 01:29:11,358 [blowing kisses] I'm blowing you kisses. 1753 01:29:11,442 --> 01:29:12,858 - Oh, my God. - [man] Hello, stranger. 1754 01:29:12,942 --> 01:29:15,025 - [Linda] Hey, oh... - [chuckles] 1755 01:29:15,108 --> 01:29:16,650 [Charlotte] This place died when you left. 1756 01:29:16,733 --> 01:29:18,275 [Linda] Oh, Charlotte, I need to know the name 1757 01:29:18,358 --> 01:29:20,400 of your personal trainer right now, seriously. 1758 01:29:20,483 --> 01:29:22,233 I actually lost weight because of stress, 1759 01:29:22,317 --> 01:29:23,483 'cause I found out my girlfriend 1760 01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,067 was stealing a load of money from me. 1761 01:29:25,150 --> 01:29:26,025 - [Linda] What? - Long story. 1762 01:29:26,108 --> 01:29:27,233 That's not for right now. 1763 01:29:27,317 --> 01:29:28,608 - Hi! - Hi. [laughs] 1764 01:29:28,692 --> 01:29:33,025 Terry, yeah. Terry, guess who's here? 1765 01:29:33,108 --> 01:29:35,025 Yeah, have a little look at Cam 14. 1766 01:29:39,275 --> 01:29:41,025 [Terry] Oh, shit, it's Linda. 1767 01:29:42,525 --> 01:29:44,275 So, Linda, what are you doing here? 1768 01:29:44,358 --> 01:29:46,108 [Linda] Oh, I'm not on the list, because I made 1769 01:29:46,192 --> 01:29:47,483 a special arrangement with Imran, 1770 01:29:47,567 --> 01:29:48,858 so I just need a desk for five minutes. 1771 01:29:48,942 --> 01:29:51,775 Or three minutes. Charlotte, can I? 1772 01:29:51,858 --> 01:29:53,817 - Come through. - [Linda] Okay. Oh! 1773 01:29:53,900 --> 01:29:55,650 I need to wait for my, um, driver. 1774 01:29:55,733 --> 01:29:57,567 Oh, hang on. Excuse me. 1775 01:29:59,358 --> 01:30:01,525 [whistles] Hi. B2B Pro Freight Services? 1776 01:30:01,608 --> 01:30:02,817 [Paxton] Yeah. 1777 01:30:02,900 --> 01:30:03,983 [Linda] For the Eve Schwarz collection? 1778 01:30:04,067 --> 01:30:05,358 - Uh-huh. - Yeah? 1779 01:30:05,442 --> 01:30:07,775 Okay, just wait here for one second. Okay. 1780 01:30:07,858 --> 01:30:11,567 [sighs] We couldn't get our normal freight service. 1781 01:30:11,650 --> 01:30:13,150 [Charlotte] World's gone mad. 1782 01:30:13,233 --> 01:30:14,483 I'm going to have to run a hundred checks on this guy. 1783 01:30:14,567 --> 01:30:15,983 We'll just need to see his ID. 1784 01:30:16,067 --> 01:30:17,858 And Imran said we do need to check the driver's ID. 1785 01:30:20,233 --> 01:30:21,442 Of course. 1786 01:30:26,275 --> 01:30:27,983 [whistles] Yeah, can I see your ID? 1787 01:30:34,233 --> 01:30:35,817 Thank you. 1788 01:30:35,900 --> 01:30:37,483 Oops. [chuckles] 1789 01:30:48,108 --> 01:30:49,317 Oh, my God, Charlotte. 1790 01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:51,650 I didn't tell you. You of all people. 1791 01:30:51,733 --> 01:30:52,817 [Charlotte] What? 1792 01:30:52,900 --> 01:30:54,150 It's just the most earth-shattering, 1793 01:30:54,233 --> 01:30:55,650 life-changing, amazing news. 1794 01:30:55,733 --> 01:30:57,483 [whispering] I found someone. I met someone. 1795 01:30:57,567 --> 01:30:59,275 - No. - Yes. 1796 01:30:59,358 --> 01:31:00,775 Oh, my God. I thought you were going to be single forever. 1797 01:31:00,858 --> 01:31:02,483 - Me, too! - Dating app? Bumble? 1798 01:31:02,567 --> 01:31:04,817 - What's he like? - [Linda] He's, uh... 1799 01:31:07,108 --> 01:31:08,525 He's a poet. 1800 01:31:08,608 --> 01:31:09,983 - Oh? - Yeah. 1801 01:31:10,067 --> 01:31:11,567 [whispering] Yeah, he's like a really wild poet. 1802 01:31:11,650 --> 01:31:12,942 Oh, my God, that's so romantic. 1803 01:31:13,025 --> 01:31:14,400 Hmm, I know. 1804 01:31:14,483 --> 01:31:16,192 But listen, I've got a slot in the vaults at 7:00. 1805 01:31:16,275 --> 01:31:18,358 - I gotta get this guy processed. Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 1806 01:31:18,442 --> 01:31:21,192 - Linda... - Oh, life, life. 1807 01:31:21,275 --> 01:31:23,025 Right? You never know what's coming down the line. 1808 01:31:23,108 --> 01:31:24,733 - Mmm-hmm. - Okay. 1809 01:31:27,525 --> 01:31:28,942 [whistles] We're good. 1810 01:31:31,858 --> 01:31:33,525 [blows kiss] Thank you, Mark. 1811 01:31:33,608 --> 01:31:35,150 [Mark] Anything for you, Linda. 1812 01:31:37,275 --> 01:31:40,483 Okay, I'm going to generate you a Harrods pass 1813 01:31:40,567 --> 01:31:42,650 that will give you access to all areas. 1814 01:31:42,733 --> 01:31:46,233 - Date of birth. - [Paxton] January 19th, 1809. 1815 01:31:46,317 --> 01:31:49,733 But I didn't have my first poem published until 1827. 1816 01:31:50,733 --> 01:31:52,150 Okay, that's good. That's good. 1817 01:31:52,233 --> 01:31:54,400 You're taking it lightly. You're not panicking. 1818 01:31:54,483 --> 01:31:56,608 January 19th, 1980. 1819 01:31:56,692 --> 01:31:58,233 Height, six feet. 1820 01:31:58,317 --> 01:31:59,733 - Build... - Medium athletic. 1821 01:31:59,817 --> 01:32:02,025 And inside, I am panicking. 1822 01:32:02,108 --> 01:32:04,900 You do realize that we've both gone fucking insane. 1823 01:32:04,983 --> 01:32:07,108 We haven't done anything yet. 1824 01:32:07,192 --> 01:32:10,733 Criminal convictions, none. 1825 01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,317 So, when does the moment begin? 1826 01:32:12,400 --> 01:32:15,025 - [keyboard clacking] - The moment when we decide. 1827 01:32:15,108 --> 01:32:17,150 In the CCTV control room, 1828 01:32:17,233 --> 01:32:19,900 there's a deaf man who reads lips. 1829 01:32:19,983 --> 01:32:22,108 Shut up. Look here. 1830 01:32:22,942 --> 01:32:24,733 Why are you good at this? 1831 01:32:26,025 --> 01:32:27,608 [mouse clicking] 1832 01:32:28,317 --> 01:32:31,025 [printer whirring] 1833 01:32:32,858 --> 01:32:34,192 Oh, Linda. 1834 01:32:34,275 --> 01:32:36,108 I just need to get the gentleman's name 1835 01:32:36,192 --> 01:32:38,108 in case of a fire, so... 1836 01:32:39,192 --> 01:32:41,192 - His name? - [Mark] Mmm-hmm. 1837 01:32:41,275 --> 01:32:42,733 Edgar Allen Poe. 1838 01:32:45,942 --> 01:32:47,483 Uh, Edgar... 1839 01:32:48,192 --> 01:32:51,067 Edgar Allen Poe. 1840 01:32:51,150 --> 01:32:52,650 Great, thanks. 1841 01:32:55,025 --> 01:32:56,775 [Linda] This is the first time Harrods has been closed 1842 01:32:56,858 --> 01:32:59,442 in a hundred years. 1843 01:32:59,525 --> 01:33:02,233 Everything has to get packed up and put into boxes. 1844 01:33:02,317 --> 01:33:05,317 Pearls, purses, fine art, fine jewelry. 1845 01:33:05,400 --> 01:33:06,317 Diamonds. 1846 01:33:06,400 --> 01:33:08,025 [Linda] Yeah. Diamonds. 1847 01:33:09,358 --> 01:33:11,150 [elevator dings] 1848 01:33:13,358 --> 01:33:14,983 Remember that game we used to play 1849 01:33:15,067 --> 01:33:16,733 when we are alone in an elevator, 1850 01:33:16,817 --> 01:33:18,317 we ask each other questions, 1851 01:33:18,400 --> 01:33:19,942 and we are only allowed to tell the absolute truth? 1852 01:33:21,442 --> 01:33:22,817 Shoot. 1853 01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:25,233 What went wrong with you and me? 1854 01:33:27,442 --> 01:33:30,150 When I met you, I wanted wild and you were wild. 1855 01:33:30,233 --> 01:33:34,817 And then, I stopped wanting wild, and you stopped being wild. 1856 01:33:36,567 --> 01:33:38,275 - So, it should have worked. - Yeah, but it didn't. 1857 01:33:38,358 --> 01:33:39,983 - Why not? - I don't know. 1858 01:33:40,067 --> 01:33:43,650 [hesitates] That's the truth. 1859 01:33:43,733 --> 01:33:46,108 - [elevator dings] - [automated voice] Doors opening. 1860 01:33:47,317 --> 01:33:49,483 - Are you hungry? - Yeah. 1861 01:33:59,983 --> 01:34:01,733 [indistinct talking] 1862 01:34:04,192 --> 01:34:07,233 [classical music playing] 1863 01:34:11,775 --> 01:34:14,692 [Linda] We have an hour until our slot in the vaults, 1864 01:34:14,775 --> 01:34:17,192 so what do you want to eat, Paxton? 1865 01:34:17,275 --> 01:34:18,983 There is literally everything. 1866 01:34:22,275 --> 01:34:24,108 With the store closing, Harrods is gonna give 1867 01:34:24,192 --> 01:34:26,025 all of this food away to a food bank. 1868 01:34:26,108 --> 01:34:27,983 [indistinct announcement on PA] 1869 01:34:31,067 --> 01:34:32,275 Fine. 1870 01:34:33,150 --> 01:34:34,733 Is there anybody watching? 1871 01:34:35,317 --> 01:34:36,233 Maybe. 1872 01:34:37,692 --> 01:34:38,983 Dream bigger. 1873 01:34:43,150 --> 01:34:44,775 Finest beluga caviar? 1874 01:34:56,858 --> 01:34:58,317 [Paxton] So is this the moment? 1875 01:34:58,858 --> 01:35:00,483 [Linda] No. 1876 01:35:00,567 --> 01:35:03,817 No. We gotta get something clear before we make up our mind. 1877 01:35:03,900 --> 01:35:06,067 This is a black Perigord truffle from Italy. 1878 01:35:06,150 --> 01:35:08,442 It retails for £735. 1879 01:35:08,525 --> 01:35:10,067 - For a fucking mushroom? - Okay. 1880 01:35:10,150 --> 01:35:11,858 Okay, that is what we need to get clear in our minds. 1881 01:35:11,942 --> 01:35:13,733 What is the difference between the cost of things, 1882 01:35:13,817 --> 01:35:15,400 and the value of things to you and me? 1883 01:35:15,483 --> 01:35:16,775 So, I'm gonna make a picnic. 1884 01:35:16,858 --> 01:35:17,942 A picnic which under normal circumstances 1885 01:35:18,025 --> 01:35:20,192 would cost us about £5,000. 1886 01:35:48,692 --> 01:35:49,775 [elevator dings] 1887 01:35:49,858 --> 01:35:51,192 [automated voice] Door's closing. 1888 01:35:51,275 --> 01:35:53,150 [Linda] My precious grandma was a racist. 1889 01:35:53,233 --> 01:35:54,567 - Whoa. - Yeah. 1890 01:35:54,650 --> 01:35:56,192 And I've just decided to take her off 1891 01:35:56,275 --> 01:35:57,483 my in-head jury of people 1892 01:35:57,567 --> 01:35:59,192 who pass judgment on what I do. 1893 01:36:01,483 --> 01:36:02,858 So, who else is on the jury? 1894 01:36:04,233 --> 01:36:05,775 My dead mother, God and you. 1895 01:36:06,567 --> 01:36:08,108 How come I'm still there? 1896 01:36:08,192 --> 01:36:09,692 - [elevator dings] - [automated voice] Door's opening. 1897 01:36:09,775 --> 01:36:12,192 Doors are open, I don't have to tell you. 1898 01:36:14,733 --> 01:36:17,067 I used to come in here on my lunch break. 1899 01:36:23,067 --> 01:36:25,483 [Paxton] So which one of those paintings do you want? 1900 01:36:25,567 --> 01:36:28,608 [Linda] Uh, I don't want to own one. 1901 01:36:29,733 --> 01:36:31,525 You want to paint one. 1902 01:36:31,608 --> 01:36:34,317 [sighs] I just want to paint. 1903 01:36:36,358 --> 01:36:38,150 So, this is the moment. 1904 01:36:38,233 --> 01:36:39,692 Oh, wait. 1905 01:36:39,775 --> 01:36:41,942 - Is the deaf guy looking? - What? 1906 01:36:42,025 --> 01:36:44,733 Oh, I made that guy up so you would stop talking. 1907 01:36:44,817 --> 01:36:46,192 Ah. 1908 01:36:46,275 --> 01:36:47,942 Think about it. 1909 01:36:48,025 --> 01:36:52,233 £100,000 a year for ten years. £50,000 a year for 20 years. 1910 01:36:52,317 --> 01:36:54,108 - A million pounds. - [Linda] Yeah. 1911 01:36:54,192 --> 01:36:55,400 You could paint. 1912 01:36:55,483 --> 01:36:57,108 You wouldn't even need to sell anything. 1913 01:36:57,192 --> 01:37:00,692 - [elevator dings] - [automated voice] Door's closing. 1914 01:37:00,775 --> 01:37:02,858 I never learned to ride a bicycle. 1915 01:37:02,942 --> 01:37:03,900 - What? - Yeah. 1916 01:37:03,983 --> 01:37:05,108 - Never? - Yeah. 1917 01:37:05,192 --> 01:37:06,692 Went straight to the motorcycle. 1918 01:37:08,317 --> 01:37:11,025 Before Christmas, I had a sexual encounter with Maria, 1919 01:37:11,108 --> 01:37:12,692 [whispers] and it was great. 1920 01:37:12,775 --> 01:37:14,400 - [elevator dings] - [automated voice] Door's opening. 1921 01:37:18,025 --> 01:37:22,192 Okay, so we've established that we both want freedom. 1922 01:37:22,275 --> 01:37:25,275 - Maria, really? - Oh, Paxton. 1923 01:37:25,358 --> 01:37:27,983 Paxton, we are about to make the most important decision 1924 01:37:28,067 --> 01:37:29,942 of our lives. Can you concentrate? 1925 01:37:31,192 --> 01:37:33,525 Okay, in our decision-making process, 1926 01:37:33,608 --> 01:37:35,733 we haven't yet discussed morality. 1927 01:37:35,817 --> 01:37:37,650 Look at that. That is... 1928 01:37:37,733 --> 01:37:40,775 That's a whole city in lockdown. 1929 01:37:40,858 --> 01:37:43,233 Hospitals can't cope. A million pounds would help. 1930 01:37:43,317 --> 01:37:46,067 We'd be doing good. Plus, I worked it out. 1931 01:37:46,150 --> 01:37:47,900 If it's in 50s, it all fits in one suitcase. 1932 01:37:47,983 --> 01:37:49,608 You can leave it on a doorstep. Take that, Grandma. 1933 01:37:49,692 --> 01:37:52,900 - You got rid of Grandma. - Yes, I did. Thank you. 1934 01:37:52,983 --> 01:37:55,983 So, okay, we do it. 1935 01:37:57,192 --> 01:37:58,192 Fuck it. 1936 01:37:59,025 --> 01:38:00,567 We decide right now. 1937 01:38:02,025 --> 01:38:02,942 Okay. 1938 01:38:04,233 --> 01:38:05,983 [chuckles] 1939 01:38:06,067 --> 01:38:07,900 Previously, I would have kissed you. 1940 01:38:10,192 --> 01:38:11,983 Let's just see what happens. 1941 01:38:31,525 --> 01:38:33,942 - Okay. - Fuck. 1942 01:38:34,025 --> 01:38:35,525 - Maria? - Okay, it's time to go. 1943 01:38:35,608 --> 01:38:37,608 - Really? - We gotta go to the vaults. 1944 01:38:39,692 --> 01:38:41,817 [Paxton] So, are we gonna do it or not? 1945 01:38:44,733 --> 01:38:46,650 [Paxton panting] 1946 01:38:57,358 --> 01:38:59,192 - [unzips bag] - Are you okay? 1947 01:38:59,275 --> 01:39:01,608 God, no. 1948 01:39:01,692 --> 01:39:03,733 Is God really part of your in-head jury? 1949 01:39:03,817 --> 01:39:05,025 Uh-huh. 1950 01:39:05,108 --> 01:39:06,858 And for the record, God is absolutely fine 1951 01:39:06,942 --> 01:39:08,733 with whatever it is that we decide to do. 1952 01:39:09,608 --> 01:39:11,025 [Paxton] That's good to know. 1953 01:39:12,567 --> 01:39:14,400 - [Linda] Hi, there. P.J., right? - Yes, miss. 1954 01:39:14,483 --> 01:39:15,900 [Linda] Lead the way. 1955 01:39:18,400 --> 01:39:21,025 Why does the name Edgar Allen Poe ring a bell? 1956 01:39:24,525 --> 01:39:26,525 - [phone rings] - [groans] 1957 01:39:28,775 --> 01:39:30,525 [indistinct chatter] 1958 01:39:34,983 --> 01:39:36,608 - [Linda] Thank you. - You're welcome. 1959 01:40:02,317 --> 01:40:03,900 [man] You're shipping that thing to New York? 1960 01:40:07,567 --> 01:40:11,275 [indistinct announcement on PA] 1961 01:40:35,983 --> 01:40:37,525 - [Linda] It's an underwater theme. - Yeah. 1962 01:40:37,608 --> 01:40:39,900 - My idea. - It's nice. 1963 01:40:39,983 --> 01:40:41,983 You're very good at what you do. What you did. 1964 01:40:43,775 --> 01:40:45,317 [Linda] Okay, so we only need to pack up 1965 01:40:45,400 --> 01:40:46,733 the jewelry and accessories. 1966 01:40:46,817 --> 01:40:48,150 The clothing all goes downstairs, 1967 01:40:48,233 --> 01:40:49,358 so it shouldn't take too long. 1968 01:40:49,442 --> 01:40:51,150 Yeah, not too long, so, uh... 1969 01:40:52,192 --> 01:40:53,567 Shall I take it out? 1970 01:40:54,483 --> 01:40:56,525 Yes. Why not? 1971 01:40:57,025 --> 01:40:58,608 [grunts] 1972 01:41:04,692 --> 01:41:05,858 [Linda] Okay. 1973 01:41:18,442 --> 01:41:20,067 [water bubbling] 1974 01:41:25,733 --> 01:41:27,233 [Linda] Do it quickly, the fish are piranhas. 1975 01:41:27,317 --> 01:41:30,483 - What? - It's meant to be symbolic. 1976 01:41:30,567 --> 01:41:31,983 - Symbolic of... - I don't remember, okay. 1977 01:41:32,067 --> 01:41:33,483 Just do it faster. 1978 01:41:33,567 --> 01:41:35,275 You'll be fine. 1979 01:41:43,942 --> 01:41:45,108 [Paxton grunts] 1980 01:41:47,817 --> 01:41:49,608 [breathes heavily] 1981 01:41:51,442 --> 01:41:52,983 So, this is the moment. 1982 01:41:54,608 --> 01:41:57,650 Just seems so easy. 1983 01:41:57,733 --> 01:41:59,733 It's never been about can we do it, Paxton. 1984 01:41:59,817 --> 01:42:01,608 It's about... should we do it? 1985 01:42:01,692 --> 01:42:03,400 And will we do it? It's about you and me. 1986 01:42:03,483 --> 01:42:06,067 And I'm not saying that we are going to do it, 1987 01:42:06,150 --> 01:42:10,192 but if we are, then you would need to take one step to your left. 1988 01:42:12,942 --> 01:42:15,150 So, shall I take the step? 1989 01:42:17,192 --> 01:42:18,650 Take the step. Then, we decide. 1990 01:42:23,233 --> 01:42:24,692 Linda... 1991 01:42:24,775 --> 01:42:25,733 if we are deciding in the moment, 1992 01:42:25,817 --> 01:42:27,692 then I say we do it. 1993 01:42:27,775 --> 01:42:29,442 If we are letting the moment decide, 1994 01:42:29,525 --> 01:42:33,525 then, in my opinion, the moment is saying loud and clear... 1995 01:42:33,608 --> 01:42:34,983 "Put the replica in the fucking box 1996 01:42:35,067 --> 01:42:36,983 and put the real thing in your bag." 1997 01:42:39,108 --> 01:42:43,650 Freedom, Linda, in one beautiful moment. 1998 01:42:49,775 --> 01:42:50,942 [Linda exhales] 1999 01:43:08,192 --> 01:43:09,525 [Paxton gasps] 2000 01:43:11,650 --> 01:43:13,108 [exhales] 2001 01:43:16,150 --> 01:43:17,650 Okay. 2002 01:43:18,650 --> 01:43:19,817 Okay. 2003 01:43:22,150 --> 01:43:23,442 - It's under control. - It's under control. 2004 01:43:23,525 --> 01:43:25,608 - Under control. - [softly] Yeah. 2005 01:43:27,567 --> 01:43:30,733 I think we should start with the handbags, 2006 01:43:30,817 --> 01:43:33,858 and, uh, [hesitates] we should get the dust bags... 2007 01:43:33,942 --> 01:43:35,150 Linda! 2008 01:43:35,233 --> 01:43:36,442 - Linda, it's me. - [Linda] Donald. 2009 01:43:36,525 --> 01:43:39,608 I need to speak to you urgently. 2010 01:43:39,692 --> 01:43:42,442 Um, excuse me, could you please take a stroll 2011 01:43:42,525 --> 01:43:44,192 or something for a moment? 2012 01:43:44,275 --> 01:43:46,692 I have some very important things to say to my colleague. 2013 01:43:48,608 --> 01:43:50,775 Uh... Uh-huh. 2014 01:43:53,275 --> 01:43:54,567 Uh... 2015 01:43:55,067 --> 01:43:56,317 Donald... 2016 01:43:56,400 --> 01:43:59,067 Well, goodness, I thought that I fired you, 2017 01:43:59,150 --> 01:44:00,483 but you're here. 2018 01:44:00,567 --> 01:44:02,983 Linda, listen. Someone made an anonymous call 2019 01:44:03,067 --> 01:44:04,650 to Miracore head office. 2020 01:44:04,733 --> 01:44:06,983 They said that the driver from B2B 2021 01:44:07,067 --> 01:44:08,942 who is carrying the Eve Schwarz collection 2022 01:44:09,025 --> 01:44:10,442 is using a false name. 2023 01:44:10,525 --> 01:44:12,525 They said he's got a criminal record. 2024 01:44:13,567 --> 01:44:15,608 [sighs] Grandma, hey. 2025 01:44:15,692 --> 01:44:17,942 I came as soon as I could. Thank God you're okay. 2026 01:44:18,025 --> 01:44:19,942 - I'm okay. - Well, the police are coming. 2027 01:44:20,025 --> 01:44:22,317 - The police are coming and... - They'll be here any minute. 2028 01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:24,650 They'll be here any minute. Okay, that's... 2029 01:44:24,733 --> 01:44:26,067 Now we're against the clock. 2030 01:44:26,150 --> 01:44:28,275 Uh, if he's innocent and who he says he is, 2031 01:44:28,358 --> 01:44:29,983 - then everything will... - Everything will be okay. 2032 01:44:30,067 --> 01:44:32,567 And it will be okay, Donald, because I know what to do. 2033 01:44:32,650 --> 01:44:33,817 [hesitates] What do you mean? 2034 01:44:33,900 --> 01:44:34,650 - What are you going to do? - Paxton? 2035 01:44:34,733 --> 01:44:35,650 Paxton? 2036 01:44:37,983 --> 01:44:40,317 Donald. Paxton. 2037 01:44:40,400 --> 01:44:41,775 Paxton. Donald. 2038 01:44:41,858 --> 01:44:42,942 Who are you? 2039 01:44:43,025 --> 01:44:44,650 I'm Edgar Allen Poe, obviously. 2040 01:44:44,733 --> 01:44:46,900 - She just called you Paxton. - Yes, Donald, this is Paxton. 2041 01:44:46,983 --> 01:44:49,650 And I'm a woman called Linda Jarvis. 2042 01:44:49,733 --> 01:44:53,233 I'm an ordinary woman who, 60 seconds ago, 2043 01:44:53,317 --> 01:44:55,483 made an extraordinary decision. 2044 01:44:55,567 --> 01:44:56,942 [softly] Linda, what are you going to tell him? 2045 01:44:57,025 --> 01:44:58,358 [Donald] What is it to do with you? 2046 01:44:58,442 --> 01:45:01,900 What it has to do with him is that... 2047 01:45:01,983 --> 01:45:04,817 he is my partner and my lover of ten years standing, 2048 01:45:04,900 --> 01:45:06,733 and I think I'm still in love with him. 2049 01:45:06,817 --> 01:45:08,150 - [inhales deeply] - Really? 2050 01:45:08,233 --> 01:45:10,692 But most importantly, he is also my accomplice. 2051 01:45:10,775 --> 01:45:13,317 You see, Donald, just now... just one minute ago, 2052 01:45:13,400 --> 01:45:15,025 I decided... We decided 2053 01:45:15,108 --> 01:45:17,358 to steal the Harris Diamond worth three million pounds. 2054 01:45:17,442 --> 01:45:19,358 [sighs] Holy fuck. Confession avalanche. 2055 01:45:19,442 --> 01:45:20,608 [Linda] No, it's okay, and I know Donald 2056 01:45:20,692 --> 01:45:21,817 and also we don't have a choice, 2057 01:45:21,900 --> 01:45:23,233 because Donald called the police 2058 01:45:23,317 --> 01:45:24,608 and they're about to arrive at any second. 2059 01:45:24,692 --> 01:45:26,358 - [Paxton] Oh, fuck! - Like I said, 2060 01:45:26,442 --> 01:45:28,108 it's going to be okay, because when the police arrive, 2061 01:45:28,192 --> 01:45:29,858 we are not going to be here, we are going to be gone. 2062 01:45:29,942 --> 01:45:31,442 - You are? - Yes, we are. 2063 01:45:31,525 --> 01:45:33,025 And Donald is going to tell them 2064 01:45:33,108 --> 01:45:34,317 that he talked to Linda 2065 01:45:34,400 --> 01:45:35,608 and she said that everything's fine, 2066 01:45:35,692 --> 01:45:37,025 it was all a misunderstanding. 2067 01:45:37,108 --> 01:45:39,817 And then, he is going to give them this, 2068 01:45:39,900 --> 01:45:41,567 your ID verification. 2069 01:45:41,650 --> 01:45:43,942 And you're going to say that you recognize that driver 2070 01:45:44,025 --> 01:45:45,358 from another assignment. 2071 01:45:45,442 --> 01:45:46,733 And then, you're going to tell them a story. 2072 01:45:46,817 --> 01:45:48,525 You're going to tell them a story 2073 01:45:48,608 --> 01:45:50,858 about how this driver has an enemy at work who hates him. 2074 01:45:50,942 --> 01:45:52,483 - I am? - Yes, you are. 2075 01:45:52,567 --> 01:45:54,900 And do you know why you're going to do all this, Donald? 2076 01:45:54,983 --> 01:45:58,108 - No. Why? - Because we are good. 2077 01:45:58,192 --> 01:46:00,442 Paxton, Donald, we three are good. 2078 01:46:00,525 --> 01:46:02,150 And the bastards who told me to fire you 2079 01:46:02,233 --> 01:46:03,692 and the bastard who bought that diamond, 2080 01:46:03,775 --> 01:46:06,067 they won't even realize that it's gone. 2081 01:46:06,150 --> 01:46:08,733 - Mention the NHS. - Yeah. Yes, ooh! 2082 01:46:10,983 --> 01:46:12,733 What do you say, Donald? 2083 01:46:12,817 --> 01:46:14,733 Will you lie for us, Donald? 2084 01:46:17,317 --> 01:46:21,567 [Donald] I see all this anarchy is because of lockdown. 2085 01:46:21,650 --> 01:46:24,108 Idiotic, insane fucking lockdown 2086 01:46:24,192 --> 01:46:25,608 which has liberated us all. 2087 01:46:25,692 --> 01:46:27,150 Donald, we'll give you money. I'll give you 200 grand. 2088 01:46:27,233 --> 01:46:28,650 Fuck the money. I don't do this for money, 2089 01:46:28,733 --> 01:46:29,692 I do this for beauty. 2090 01:46:29,775 --> 01:46:31,650 Linda, you are wonderful. 2091 01:46:31,733 --> 01:46:35,608 [chuckles] Linda, and he is your secret bandit lover, 2092 01:46:35,692 --> 01:46:37,608 and you are going to spit in the face 2093 01:46:37,692 --> 01:46:39,400 of the global monolith. 2094 01:46:39,483 --> 01:46:41,025 During lockdown I've had time 2095 01:46:41,108 --> 01:46:44,692 to think and walk in the park near my mother's house, 2096 01:46:44,775 --> 01:46:47,525 and God, apart from the dog walkers and the joggers 2097 01:46:47,608 --> 01:46:50,983 breathing everywhere, God, it is a beautiful world. 2098 01:46:51,067 --> 01:46:53,150 Even before the fucking virus, 2099 01:46:53,233 --> 01:46:55,608 we were all locked down in our own routines, 2100 01:46:55,692 --> 01:46:57,317 our versions of ourselves... 2101 01:46:57,400 --> 01:46:58,567 Linda, we have to get the fuck out of here. 2102 01:46:58,650 --> 01:47:00,108 Let Donald have his moment. 2103 01:47:00,192 --> 01:47:01,275 [Donald] ...never get to work! 2104 01:47:01,358 --> 01:47:02,567 I only came here tonight 2105 01:47:02,650 --> 01:47:03,942 because I was worried about you, Linda. 2106 01:47:04,025 --> 01:47:05,567 I don't give a fuck about Miracore, 2107 01:47:05,650 --> 01:47:08,108 their fucking diamonds, I don't care about them. 2108 01:47:08,192 --> 01:47:11,067 I want everything to be stolen. 2109 01:47:11,150 --> 01:47:14,067 I will lie for you, Linda, 2110 01:47:14,150 --> 01:47:19,817 because this is my moment to fucking do something! 2111 01:47:32,317 --> 01:47:33,900 Mad, all this, isn't it? 2112 01:47:33,983 --> 01:47:35,567 - Yeah. - [chuckles] 2113 01:47:35,650 --> 01:47:37,442 Who'd have thought a month ago we'd be doing this. 2114 01:47:38,358 --> 01:47:39,483 Not me. 2115 01:47:39,567 --> 01:47:41,525 [PA system chimes] 2116 01:47:41,608 --> 01:47:43,817 [man on PA] Paging Edgar Allen Poe. 2117 01:47:43,900 --> 01:47:47,483 Edgar Allen Poe, please report to security. 2118 01:47:47,567 --> 01:47:51,817 ["Shine On You Crazy Diamond" playing] 2119 01:47:54,442 --> 01:47:55,567 [elevator dings] 2120 01:48:00,150 --> 01:48:01,942 [PA system chimes] 2121 01:48:02,025 --> 01:48:03,692 [man] Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, 2122 01:48:03,775 --> 01:48:06,483 please report to security immediately. 2123 01:48:06,567 --> 01:48:08,150 [Linda] I think we should speed up. 2124 01:48:08,233 --> 01:48:10,817 Don't rush. We're not trying to evacuate Dunkirk! 2125 01:48:10,900 --> 01:48:12,108 Stop there. If you walk, 2126 01:48:12,192 --> 01:48:14,150 you should be on the starboard side. 2127 01:48:14,983 --> 01:48:16,442 [indistinct talking] 2128 01:48:16,525 --> 01:48:17,983 [Linda] Leave it. Leave it. 2129 01:48:19,275 --> 01:48:20,858 Linda? 2130 01:48:20,942 --> 01:48:23,483 - [PA system chimes] - [man] Paging Edgar Allen Poe. 2131 01:48:23,567 --> 01:48:26,567 Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, please report to security. 2132 01:48:26,650 --> 01:48:29,358 It's Michael with the arrows from Zoom. 2133 01:48:34,775 --> 01:48:37,400 - [PA system chimes] - [man] Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, 2134 01:48:37,483 --> 01:48:40,442 please report to security immediately. 2135 01:48:42,567 --> 01:48:44,692 [whispering] Oh, fuck. 2136 01:48:44,775 --> 01:48:46,650 You'll have to turn in your Harrods pass. 2137 01:48:46,733 --> 01:48:48,025 You go. Save yourself. 2138 01:48:48,108 --> 01:48:49,400 It's me that fate is fucking with. 2139 01:48:49,483 --> 01:48:51,358 Just keep walking. 2140 01:48:53,108 --> 01:48:54,400 [Mark] Edgar Allen Poe. 2141 01:48:57,025 --> 01:48:58,983 [Mark panting] 2142 01:48:59,067 --> 01:49:00,692 You left this in the office. 2143 01:49:02,233 --> 01:49:03,942 You'll need it at Heathrow. 2144 01:49:07,900 --> 01:49:10,150 Thanks very much. 2145 01:49:10,233 --> 01:49:13,275 Everybody says, uh, come back soon, Linda, 2146 01:49:13,358 --> 01:49:14,650 and we all love you. 2147 01:50:20,900 --> 01:50:22,150 Since that night, we've established 2148 01:50:22,233 --> 01:50:23,817 that although we're now both rich 2149 01:50:23,900 --> 01:50:26,025 and no longer have to do jobs we despise, 2150 01:50:26,108 --> 01:50:27,358 the strains of lockdown 2151 01:50:27,442 --> 01:50:28,983 are still severely testing our relationship. 2152 01:50:29,067 --> 01:50:30,650 "Happy ever after" cannot survive 2153 01:50:30,733 --> 01:50:32,608 someone hiding your bag of flour. 2154 01:50:32,692 --> 01:50:34,275 Okay, come on. Okay. 2155 01:50:35,317 --> 01:50:37,692 Here is your bag of flour. I just... 2156 01:50:37,775 --> 01:50:39,900 I want you to promise me that you're not gonna make bread. 2157 01:50:39,983 --> 01:50:41,233 [Paxton] Why not? 2158 01:50:41,317 --> 01:50:43,192 Because of the mess and the pointlessness 2159 01:50:43,275 --> 01:50:45,858 and because it will be inedible, and like all homemade bread, 2160 01:50:45,942 --> 01:50:47,358 it will be a fucking pointless cannonball. 2161 01:50:47,442 --> 01:50:49,233 My dad used to make it and we had to eat it, 2162 01:50:49,317 --> 01:50:50,775 otherwise he would disappear into his workshop 2163 01:50:50,858 --> 01:50:53,108 and make these hopeless wooden toys. 2164 01:50:53,192 --> 01:50:55,025 - Never again. - Linda, you've lost your mind. 2165 01:50:55,108 --> 01:50:55,942 What? I've lost... 2166 01:50:56,025 --> 01:50:57,358 You buried a hedgehog 2167 01:50:57,442 --> 01:50:59,567 and said a eulogy over the fucking grave. 2168 01:50:59,650 --> 01:51:01,775 And you deliberately stuck a piece of tinsel on the ceiling 2169 01:51:01,858 --> 01:51:03,858 - above the stairs. - No, it was there all along. 2170 01:51:03,942 --> 01:51:05,858 - I almost broke my fucking neck. - If you'd asked me, 2171 01:51:05,942 --> 01:51:07,108 I would have held the stepladders. 2172 01:51:07,192 --> 01:51:08,192 If it had been there "all along," 2173 01:51:08,275 --> 01:51:09,650 I would have noticed it. 2174 01:51:09,733 --> 01:51:11,108 But you haven't noticed that there was no point 2175 01:51:11,192 --> 01:51:12,483 in packing a suitcase 2176 01:51:12,567 --> 01:51:15,400 because there is nowhere you can actually go. 2177 01:51:15,483 --> 01:51:18,067 They just extended lockdown by another two weeks. 2178 01:51:21,733 --> 01:51:23,150 Oh, shit. 2179 01:51:25,192 --> 01:51:27,525 [exhales] Well... 2180 01:51:28,983 --> 01:51:30,400 All that for a bag of flour 2181 01:51:30,483 --> 01:51:32,900 and a definitely pre-existing piece of tinsel. 2182 01:51:32,983 --> 01:51:37,525 And because today is my birthday. 2183 01:51:38,650 --> 01:51:39,942 - [mumbles] - It's okay. 2184 01:51:40,025 --> 01:51:41,525 - I know. - [chuckles] It's okay. 2185 01:51:41,608 --> 01:51:43,567 - It's lockdown. - No, I knew that. 2186 01:51:43,650 --> 01:51:46,733 - Nobody knows what day it is, never mind the date. - And I got you something. 2187 01:51:46,817 --> 01:51:48,817 I got you something you really, really want. 2188 01:51:53,400 --> 01:51:54,983 [chuckles] 2189 01:51:56,317 --> 01:51:57,942 Go crazy. 2190 01:52:00,567 --> 01:52:04,317 - Another two weeks? - Another two weeks. 2191 01:52:04,400 --> 01:52:07,108 Well, then, my long suffering public 2192 01:52:07,192 --> 01:52:09,483 may need another poem. 2193 01:52:10,192 --> 01:52:11,358 [Linda] Hmm. 2194 01:52:11,442 --> 01:52:14,275 Counting The Beats by Robert Graves. 2195 01:52:15,608 --> 01:52:19,567 "You, love, and I, you and I, 2196 01:52:19,650 --> 01:52:21,442 and if no more than only you and I, 2197 01:52:21,525 --> 01:52:24,358 what care you and I?" 2198 01:52:24,442 --> 01:52:26,233 [Linda laughing] 2199 01:52:29,483 --> 01:52:35,733 "Counting the beats, counting the slow heartbeats, 2200 01:52:35,817 --> 01:52:40,317 the bleeding to death of time in slow heartbeats, 2201 01:52:40,400 --> 01:52:42,983 wakeful we lie. 2202 01:52:43,067 --> 01:52:48,733 Cloudless day, night, and another cloudless day, 2203 01:52:48,817 --> 01:52:53,483 yet a huge cloud will burst upon their heads one day." 2204 01:52:53,567 --> 01:52:56,317 And on that day, lockdown will end! 2205 01:52:56,400 --> 01:52:58,192 ["Wigwam" playing] 2206 01:52:59,233 --> 01:53:02,317 "Only here, as we are here, together, 2207 01:53:02,400 --> 01:53:07,483 now and here, always you and I." 2208 01:53:18,717 --> 01:53:23,717 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull