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This programme contains
some strong language.
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What's this for? Huh? This trophy?
What's it for?
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100m.
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You can't run.
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00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,520
Yeah. And you're like a whippet,
aren't you?
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You haven't even got legs.
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You just strap shoes to your torso
stumps.
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There's a bloody football award
here!
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You've got a foot like a 50p piece.
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Oh, have I?
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What is this?
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Whoa! Don't.
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Because that is a work of art.
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Yeah, but what is it?
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It's a key ring holder.
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I made it in Year 10.
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Were you recovering from a car
accident at the time?
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I don't even know which way up it
goes.
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Do you not? Well, I'll show you which
way up it goes.
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It goes that way up.
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You can pop your keys to my
flat on it
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on your way out, if you like.
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If you can reach.
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Oh, you knob.
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Oh, you're the knob.
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And I'll see you later.
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See you.
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Love you!
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That is too much house.
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Bloody hell!
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Hello.
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Hello there.
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Are your parents about?
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My dad's here somewhere.
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Oh, right.
I'm the crime scene cleaner.
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We don't just do murders.
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We do accidents as well.
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We DO do murders, though.
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I'm so pleased you're here.
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I'm designing a get well soon card
for the removal man who got hurt
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when the piano fell on him.
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Who made you do that, your dad?
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Accidents happen, right? Get over it.
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They think he might lose a hand.
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No, that...that is bad.
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He does need hands.
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WOLF WHISTLES
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What a beast!
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Yeah.
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It's nice, isn't it?
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Are you here to clean up the, um...
You know.
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Yep.
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A working man called in by a rich
man to clean up the blood
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of a working man.
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It was ever thus, my friend.
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It was ever thus.
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That's a terrible accident.
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Oh, yeah.
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Some rich guy had to have a piano
moved upstairs
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in his mansion accidentally.
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And where is he now?
On the golf course.
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And where's his son?
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Bunking off.
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Safe in the knowledge
he'll inherit all this.
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Well, it is half-term.
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Mm. Yeah.
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How long you worked here?
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Got you washing cars
and baby-sitting, have they?
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Minimum wage?
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Jackpot.
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Ah!
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Um... Sorry.
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You seem to be a little bit
confused.
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Err...
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This is my house, and, um,
Danny's my son.
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He's on half-term.
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Ahh...
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Ah, yeah. Sorry.
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My girlfriend was taking the mickey
out of me this morning.
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She unsettled me.
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Oh, my God!
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What?! Wicky.
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Paul Wickstead!
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Justin!
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What is it? 30 years?
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40! Yeah, 40.
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That's incredible, huh?!
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Hang on a minute.
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This is your gaff?
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Yeah.
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Well, come on, I'll give
you the tour.
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Yeah!
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So we just moved in.
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This is the kitchen-diner.
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Sorry it's such a mess.
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LAUGHS
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Reception room.
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Another reception room.
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Don't really know what to do
with this one.
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I'd probably put one of those
football tables in it.
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Games room/bar.
102
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Yeah!
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The nook.
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The nook!
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And, yeah, another bedroom.
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God, how many is that now?
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Eight.
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It's eight. Right. It's eight. Yeah.
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Yeah!
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And of course, err...
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Yeah. The swimming pool.
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Yeah.
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OK.
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Yeah...
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Yeah, I really loved London.
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But, you know, it just gets
to that stage in life, doesn't it,
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where you just want to come home?
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I remember your house, mate.
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This isn't, "coming home."
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Yeah, it is a little bit
more spacious
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than the ones on Station Road.
122
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But... Where are you living now?
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Station Road.
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Oh, yeah.
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That's, err... Lovely houses.
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I'm in a flat.
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Yes.
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That's lovely.
129
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How did you get all this?
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Do you know what? I just got lucky.
131
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You know, I made some investments in
the early '90s
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and it just kind of blew
up from there.
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Yeah.
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Can I have a Sprite?
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Oh, I haven't got any in, love.
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But tell you what.
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You go down the shops, I'll give
you some money.
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Lucky boy.
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I used to have to do chores
for my pocket money.
140
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Me, too.
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Yeah, Danny works for Age Concern
in his spare time.
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I pay him for the time it takes.
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Ah. Tax splashback?
144
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Mm... No.
145
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Well done.
146
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It's awful that older people live
alone.
147
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I sometimes have tea with them.
148
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Oh, well, don't feed them
any of your Sprite.
149
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It'll puff their bladders
up like a frog's throat.
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Go on.
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He's a lovely boy.
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Oh, he is. Weirdly so.
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Yeah.
154
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,400
Now, listen, mate, I would love
to spend the morning catching up,
155
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but I've actually got a photographer
coming over to do
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quite an embarrassing, "local boy
made good" piece in the paper later.
157
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:47,600
So, um...
158
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So you'd like the worker to get on.
I understand.
159
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,360
"Yes, understood, mate.
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"Begging your pardon, sir. I'll
crack on."
161
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,200
No, no, no, I was going to say,
I could help you and we could keep
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00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,520
on chatting and we'd get
it done twice as quick.
163
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Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
164
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Cool!
165
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Must be strange cleaning up blood
all day.
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Ah, I like it.
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Feels like you're making
a difference, you know,
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helping people to forget bad things.
169
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That's lovely.
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I suppose I just like giving back.
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That is so important.
172
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That's exactly why we set up the
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charitable wing of the company.
174
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Yeah. That balcony's knackered,
you know.
175
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,240
You won't be able to have your photo
love-in up there.
176
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Oh, God, I know.
177
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,760
I've been trying to find
a carpenter to fix it, but I just...
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I just don't know where to start.
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Dicky Daw!
180
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,640
Do you remember him from school?
He's a carpenter.
181
00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:47,040
He drinks down the Horse with me.
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Yes!
183
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,760
Dicky! Do you think he'd have time?
184
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,760
Are you joking?
He hasn't worked since lockdown.
185
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He's a total loser.
186
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,040
You'd be doing him a favour.
187
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He was such a good lad.
188
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,640
Yeah, well, manage your expectations.
189
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,080
He's not taken it easy
on the beers over the years...
190
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,960
..or the pies. And he's divorced.
191
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,000
I'll give him a ring.
192
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,240
I'll pay him double time.
193
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,560
No need for that, mate.
194
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,000
He'll be grateful for the work, trust
me.
195
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,240
I've just got to call the wife, OK?
Yeah.
196
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:14,800
Dicky, it's me.
197
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,040
Listen, you're not going
to believe this.
198
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,080
I'm down at Justin Chapple's
new gaff.
199
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,560
And somehow he's loaded now.
200
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,960
Listen, he's got a job for you.
Get your tools. Come down.
201
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,440
Do your best to look pleased for him.
202
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,160
Well, come down first and see
if you are pleased for him
203
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,480
before you say you're going
to be pleased for him.
204
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,000
Dicky, just get your tools and come
down!
205
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,120
Hey, Dicky!
206
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,800
Hey! Hey, Dicky!
207
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:49,960
How are you?
208
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,880
This place is mental, mate.
209
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,440
I knew you'd be the one.
210
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,120
I knew you'd crack it.
211
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,480
Yeah. Some people get all the luck,
don't they?
212
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:58,840
Well, it's nothing to do with luck.
213
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,800
He always had the gift, this one.
214
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,240
So proud of you, lad.
215
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,240
Ahh... You look exactly the same.
216
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,680
What? In a Hall of Mirrors, maybe.
217
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,360
Hey, I've given Marnie a ring.
218
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,080
She's going to come down
and say hello.
219
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,440
Marnie Price?
220
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,240
I would love to see her!
221
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:15,280
Is she still...?
222
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,480
Singing? Yeah. For a living now.
223
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,080
Oh, I am so pleased.
224
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,560
She had such a wonderful voice.
225
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:21,680
Oh, she's singing, is she?
226
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,400
Last I heard, she was working
down Ladbrokes, lads, come on.
227
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:27,280
Hey. I nearly got the whole gang
back together.
228
00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,320
What are we doing, then?
229
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,120
Oh, well, it's just the banister
upstairs.
230
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,920
Look, I'm so pleased
you can do this.
231
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:33,960
I'm willing to pay.
232
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,320
Mate's rates for you, Justin.
233
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,360
Let's have a look. I'll show you.
234
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:41,440
Hey, hey, hey. Just with the job,
lower your expectations a bit.
235
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,200
He's been on the pop for a few years.
236
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,560
I'm sure it's going to be great.
237
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,040
He was always the practical
one of the gang.
238
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,320
Hey, you remember that key holder he
made in woodwork?
239
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,640
That was a work of bloody art, mate.
240
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:52,720
He had extra time, though, didn't he?
241
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,800
Because of his dyslexia. Yeah.
242
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,040
Hello. All right?
243
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,600
Me and your dad used to do big burp
competitions
244
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,160
after drinking them, you know?
245
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,160
Before he was a big,
fancy businessman.
246
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,200
Oh, we still do big burp
contests now.
247
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,320
HORN BEEPS
248
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,320
Someone else is here.
249
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:12,640
Such a wicked day!
250
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,960
You and I could have a big burp
contest later, if you like.
251
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,000
Yeah, whatever.
252
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,880
Wicky!
253
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,720
Bloody hell, Marn,
you having a breakdown?
254
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,760
Eh?
255
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,400
What the hell's all this?
256
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:44,120
Oh, I'm a P?nk impersonator.
257
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,760
You're a P!nk impersonator?
258
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,520
No. P?nk.
259
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,560
What?
260
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,720
P?nk.
261
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,240
Oh, I'm not allowed to use
her exclamation mark
262
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,600
because of copyright.
263
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,920
So I'm not P!nk.
264
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,240
I'm P?nk.
265
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,640
All right. OK.
266
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,160
Come on.
267
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,560
The others have got to see this.
268
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,120
I'll pop back tomorrow with a lathe
269
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,080
and run off some new spindles for
you. No bother.
270
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,840
You know wood so well.
271
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,280
He's a wood wizard!
272
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,320
Yeah, never mind that.
273
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,440
Wait till you see the state of this.
274
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,400
You're going to piss yourselves!
275
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,800
Wow, this is amazing!
276
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:22,960
What a house!
277
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,840
Oh, I love this.
It's like an installation.
278
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,800
Dicky! Marnie!
279
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,360
Oh, Jus! Ohh...
280
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:32,400
You look awesome!
281
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,280
Oh! What is going on today?
282
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,680
Can you believe this place?
283
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,600
You cracked it. The boy cracked it.
284
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,560
I knew you would.
We always said he would.
285
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,320
We did, did we? We did?
286
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:43,360
Oh, where's your loo?
287
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,040
Or is it too posh for me
to have a piss in?
288
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,080
No. It's fine.
It's just through there.
289
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,240
Oh, so great to see you, Marnie.
290
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,000
Oh, she looks amazing.
291
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,600
She looks insane.
292
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,840
And she's doing well.
She plays all the cruises.
293
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,880
Oh, right. It's not Wembley, is it?
294
00:10:58,880 --> 00:10:59,920
And get this...
295
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,720
She calls herself P?nk.
296
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,880
Yeah, well, I mean, that's probably
just the exclamation mark, isn't it?
297
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,000
Copyright, isn't it?
298
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,400
Copyright. Yeah, exactly.
299
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,800
I knew she'd get there.
300
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,200
Such a beautiful voice.
301
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:12,760
Voice of an angel.
302
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,360
Has she got there?
303
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,600
Where's she got, lads?
304
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,920
She's living the dream.
305
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,680
She's a P!nk impersonator on a boat.
306
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,560
Ah! P?nk.
307
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:22,640
Yeah, whatever.
308
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:23,680
P?nk!
309
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,560
# Ever wonder about what he's doing?
310
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,760
# How it all turned to lies
311
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:43,080
# Sometimes I think that it's better
to never ask why
312
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,920
# But just because it burns
doesn't mean you're gonna die
313
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,920
# You've gotta get up and try,
try, try... #
314
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,800
Incredible.
315
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,960
It was so beautiful.
316
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,640
Oh, for fuck's sake!
317
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,320
Guys, we've got to celebrate
this reunion.
318
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,840
I've got some champagne
in the kitchen.
319
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,960
Bloody hell! Champagne?
320
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,360
Let's go! Yeah. Yeah.
321
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,400
Champagne!
322
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,680
Woohoo!
323
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:24,960
I don't even like champagne.
324
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,800
What's Gavin doing?
325
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,080
Well, last I heard,
he was in prison.
326
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,560
Big shock, eh?
327
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:35,720
Signs were there, I guess.
328
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,480
I mean, he was always
outside the head's office.
329
00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,680
Gavin Hardy? He got done for
embezzlement, mate,
330
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,120
not nicking from the bloody tuckshop.
331
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,200
Well, it just shows you people never
really change, do they?
332
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,280
Some people change.
Quite a lot, actually.
333
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:48,320
Well, you haven't.
334
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,440
What? Yeah, we all knew
how you'd turn out.
335
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,960
Do you know, I was always jealous
of you.
336
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,800
You were always happy
with the little things.
337
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,000
As long as you'd got a pizza
at break time,
338
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,080
that was all you needed.
339
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,440
He's like that with beer now.
340
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,560
Yeah, well, I never got
a break, did I?
341
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:07,360
Cos some people got all the luck
and gobbled it down like a luck pie.
342
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,160
How did you make your money, Just?
343
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,240
Well, Wicky's not far off the
mark, actually.
344
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:19,240
Um, I did get lucky,
but, um, it's actually mad.
345
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:21,600
It involves you guys and a crime.
346
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,720
Do you remember that record shop we
used to go to?
347
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,160
Old Tom's Rare Grooves.
He's still there.
348
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,200
He is.
349
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,480
Do you remember, we used to distract
him and then nick the albums?
350
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,800
Yeah. Half my record collection
got nicked from that shop.
351
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:37,480
Once I nicked a Bowie album from
under his limited edition counter.
352
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,280
And then years later, I found
it in the loft.
353
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:42,800
Blow me if it wasn't worth 30 grand.
354
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,800
No way. What?! Yes, yes.
355
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,800
I mean, that's all the capital
we needed to start,
356
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,480
and it just sort of blew up from
there.
357
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,000
It's insane, isn't it? Insane.
358
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,600
Oh, my God.
359
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,240
What?
360
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,960
I stole that album.
361
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,000
Hey?
362
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:00,560
I did. I stole it. Bloody Ziggy
Stardust.
363
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:03,640
I knew it. I knew you'd stolen all
the luck.
364
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,560
Nah, I think you'll find I stole it.
365
00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:08,960
No, I did, Justin, I stole it,
and now you're loaded.
366
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,000
Oh, this stings.
This stings real bad.
367
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,120
Well, he invested it wisely.
368
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,120
You'd have just bought a load
of cans of lager.
369
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,280
No, this is a scandal.
370
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,840
This is our Watergate.
371
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,760
And where's Nixon? Has he resigned?
372
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,000
No. He's bought himself a mansion
373
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,160
and everyone is kissing
Richard Nixon's ass.
374
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,000
What does he mean, Dad?
375
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:32,520
Oh, well, um, he thinks he stole
a Bowie album when he was 12,
376
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:35,240
and he's cross
because I'm correcting him
377
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:36,440
because I stole it.
378
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,160
Why are you cross about that?
379
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,160
You're like 60. Oh!
380
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,040
LAUGHTER
381
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,040
I'm 55, you little rat.
382
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,440
Whoa! All right, all right.
383
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:44,480
Well...
384
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,040
BUZZING
385
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,040
Oh! Simey!
386
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,960
Oh! Simey?
387
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,160
Yeah. Simon Stevens, the Robert
Redford of the gang.
388
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,760
Marnie looked him up on the socials.
389
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:53,800
Come on.
390
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,320
Well, this is bloody outrageous.
391
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,000
Mate.
392
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,240
What's wrong with you?
393
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,360
Why can't you all see what's
happening here?
394
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:17,400
The guy got loaded off my actions.
395
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,440
You seem like you're sulking
because a mate has done well.
396
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,120
It's not like you, Wicky.
397
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,320
It's not fair, is it?
398
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:25,480
Life isn't fair.
399
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,680
Well, come on, let's go
and see Simey.
400
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,560
Oh, yeah. Cos that's what we all
need, isn't it?
401
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,360
The coolest kid in school coming in.
402
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:35,320
I mean, why don't I just pull my
trousers and pants down
403
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,560
in front of you all?
404
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,560
Come on, let's go and see Simey.
405
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:39,840
He was so cool.
406
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,000
He's probably on a horse
or something.
407
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,480
I've just opened the gate for Simey.
408
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,240
He'll probably ride in on a horse
or something.
409
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,640
That's what I just said!
410
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,640
Oh, he'll definitely
be on horseback.
411
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,680
DICKY LAUGHS
412
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,160
Hello, gang.
413
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,720
Simey.
414
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,800
It looks like you've been
through the wars there, mate.
415
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,720
I've had a bad few years.
416
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:14,880
Emphysema.
417
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:15,920
I'm so sorry.
418
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:18,520
Oh, Simey.
419
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:21,200
You really have been struggling,
mate.
420
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,760
Life can be hard. I think...
421
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,200
I think we all see that now.
422
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:29,000
Honestly, it's been the making
of me.
423
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,080
MUTTERS: Fuckin' 'ell.
424
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,720
I used to be so vain,
prioritising the wrong things.
425
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:38,440
Since the diagnosis,
I've really started to live.
426
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:42,400
And I paint now,
and they're selling too.
427
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,760
Oh, my God. Simey, it's brilliant.
428
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,480
It's so moving.
429
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,160
Are you shitting me?
430
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,480
You've found yourself, lad.
431
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,760
You've found the real you. Thanks.
432
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,560
Guys, I've just had
the most mad idea.
433
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,400
The photographer's not getting
here for another hour.
434
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,320
Why don't we go into town,
get some chips at Mick's Place,
435
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,000
like old times? Yeah!
My shout, obviously.
436
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,600
God knows he's got the money!
437
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,240
THEY LAUGH
438
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,640
Wicky?
439
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,160
No. No, thanks.
I've got a job to do.
440
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,600
I don't need your chip charity.
441
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,240
Come on, Wicky,
you're nearly finished.
442
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,760
Yeah. Come on, you misery guts.
443
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,920
It's only a bit of mopping up
anyway.
444
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,360
I'll do it for you later.
445
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,600
Even I can mop up.
446
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,760
And he's on a mobility scooter!
447
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,680
THEY LAUGH
448
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,480
HE COUGHS
449
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,280
Danny! Come on.
450
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,040
We're getting chips. Wicked!
451
00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:37,560
Yeah. Come on, little man.
452
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,720
Come on, let's go get some chips!
453
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:41,320
Yay!
454
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:42,720
MOBILITY SCOOTER BEEPS
455
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:43,960
Let's go.
456
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:48,880
MUSIC: Change
by The Lightning Seeds
457
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,760
# The world is full of fools
458
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,080
# Who never get it right
459
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,000
# You don't know what to do
460
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,600
# So you do anything you like
461
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,880
# Put your foot down and drive
462
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,360
# Oh, you're a silly thing
463
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,560
# Put your foot down and drive
464
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,680
# You're such a pretty thing
465
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,440
# Put your foot down and drive... #
466
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,000
Oh, my God!
467
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,240
It's still there.
468
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,200
How can that still be there
after 40 years?
469
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,080
Hey, when I build something,
it lasts.
470
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,480
It really does, mate.
Look at that craftsmanship.
471
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,640
He was always about quality,
that lad.
472
00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,960
Go on, Danny! Go on.
473
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:33,720
Remember how high Simey used to get?
474
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,320
You did, Simey. I always used to
think you were going to take off.
475
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,120
I don't think it'd take the weight
of the scooter nowadays.
476
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,480
THEY LAUGH
477
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,440
Yeah, I used to get well high as
well, didn't I?
478
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,200
Which is mad because I'm already
high enough, aren't I?
479
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,440
Being so tall and that.
480
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:50,480
God...
481
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:58,440
Wicky, you never went on it once.
482
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,760
What? I did. I used to get
well high. Higher than him.
483
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:03,720
You didn't mate. You didn't.
484
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,200
It's good to be cautious.
485
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,080
Pussy.
486
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,960
THEY LAUGH
487
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,400
Come on, Danny.
488
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,440
Best day ever!
489
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,280
You remember when you got
picked for the football team?
490
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:19,640
Yeah.
That was good, though, wasn't it?
491
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,640
Yeah. That was good.
492
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,200
Is that him?
493
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,080
It can't be the same bloke.
494
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,200
It's him. It's old Tom
of Old Tom's Rare Grooves.
495
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,160
Bloody hell. It is.
He must be 200!
496
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,080
The shop that started the empire,
right?
497
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,880
You're not going to grass me up,
are you, Simey?
498
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,360
THEY LAUGH
499
00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:39,840
WICKY LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
500
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,880
For what?
For not stealing a record.
501
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,840
Oh, don't start this again.
502
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,200
Come on, Wicky.
You were never going to nick it.
503
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,360
What? Why?
504
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,000
Well, you always, you know,
you played it safe.
505
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000
I-I...
506
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,640
I played it safe? Mm.
Are you joking?
507
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,960
Then why did they call me
Risky Business at school?
508
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,880
No-one called you Risky Business
at school.
509
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,840
You tried to get us to call you
Risky Business.
510
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:03,840
Yeah, but you always played it safe.
511
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,600
That's why you ended up...
512
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,080
Nothing wrong with that.
513
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,880
I mean, this whole country
is built on working folk.
514
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,720
Good, honest... Unskilled labourers.
515
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:13,440
One of the country's heroes.
516
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,720
Along with the binmen.
517
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,880
There's no shame in a total
lack of ambition, Wicky.
518
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,280
Viva, the workforce!
519
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,560
THEY LAUGH
520
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
521
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,160
Right, you with me. Me?
Yeah. Come on.
522
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,720
I need you to distract Old Tom.
523
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,880
Oh, come on, Wicky,
you can't do that. Why not?
524
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,560
I've done it before, and it would
appear that I need to make a point.
525
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,040
Danny. Dad, it feels wrong.
526
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,800
Did you just say, "It feels wrong?"
The irony.
527
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,160
Alanis Morissette would be
physically sick if she heard you say
528
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,000
that, young man. Who?
I'll tell you what's wrong.
529
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
Him building an empire
off of my light fingers.
530
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,400
Let's go.
531
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,440
Go with him, son.
There won't be any crime today.
532
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,920
I just need someone to keep
an eye on him.
533
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,600
Don't do this, Wicky!
534
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,080
You shut your trap, son!
535
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,640
Get your oxygen mask on!
536
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,520
We're off on a high-octane ride.
537
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,160
Danny!
538
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,360
Woo!
539
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,800
OLD TOM COUGHS
540
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,840
Right, listen up.
541
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,760
The old man's deaf as a post,
but his eyesight is that of a hawk.
542
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,640
You distract him with the Madness
poster, I'll get the record.
543
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,560
I don't think it's right
to steal from an old man.
544
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,200
I'll tell you what's not right, son.
545
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,160
A six-foot-eight man
roundhousing a child.
546
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,640
But there's a good chance
it's going to happen.
547
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,480
I'll do it.
But not because you threatened me.
548
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,400
Because I think you're feeling sad.
549
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,800
And I want to help you feel happy.
550
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,600
Right, I don't know what's wrong
with you, son,
551
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,640
but I'll tell you this.
552
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:46,360
You go through life being thoughtful
all the time,
553
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:47,960
you're going to make a lot of
enemies.
554
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:50,160
Can I help you two young lads?
555
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,080
Could I have a look at that Madness
poster behind you, please?
556
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:55,880
Certainly, young man.
557
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,840
You're very young to be
into Madness, young man.
558
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,760
What's your favourite song?
559
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,440
Baggy Trousers?
560
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,520
House Of Fun?
561
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,240
Oh, I don't know Madness, sir.
562
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,400
I'm just distracting you
so my father's friend
563
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,480
can steal a record.
564
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,120
WICKY GASPS
565
00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,720
Et tu, Danny?
566
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,040
You didn't say to lie.
567
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,240
Lying isn't healthy.
568
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,040
Seriously, son,
what's wrong with you?
569
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,960
Put that record back.
570
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,120
Eat it, Grandad!
571
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:24,000
Danny, run!
572
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:32,800
I think he's sad because his life
didn't go very well.
573
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,160
My dad will pay for the record.
Don't worry.
574
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:36,960
There'll be no need of that,
young man.
575
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:43,840
Who's playing it safe now?!
576
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,880
Risky Business is back, baby!
577
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,680
Oi!
578
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,440
MUSIC: In The City
by The Jam
579
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,000
# In the city there's a thousand
things I wanna say to you
580
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,640
# But whenever I approach you,
you make me look a fool
581
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,960
# I wanna say
582
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,920
# I wanna tell you
583
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,440
# About the young ideas
584
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,240
# But you turn them into fears
585
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,000
# In the city there's a thousand
faces all shining bright
586
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,480
# And those golden faces
are under 25
587
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:32,280
# They wanna say
588
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,920
# They gonna tell ya
589
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,600
# About the young idea
590
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,160
# You better listen now,
you've said your bit-a. #
591
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,480
So I've heard vinyl's back, is it?
592
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:04,000
One for me.
593
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:08,040
And one for you.
594
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:11,320
We'll take over from here.
595
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,880
All right. You got my record?
596
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,160
Yeah.
597
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,680
What is wrong with you? Sorry.
598
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,880
Stealing a bloody record.
599
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,920
I just wanted to prove that
I don't play it safe.
600
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,080
Well, you're lucky he's not
pressing charges. Is he not?
601
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,640
No. No, he said, they're just kids.
602
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,680
Wicky...
603
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,040
Justin has asked us all
to be in a photo for the paper.
604
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,400
Are you coming?
The old gang back together.
605
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,200
Am I...?
606
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:42,200
He'd love to.
607
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,400
Hiya.
608
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,520
Hi.
609
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:45,840
I'm P?nk.
610
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,520
P?nk. That's right.
611
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,280
Oh, copyright, is it?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
612
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:51,960
WICKY SCOFFS
613
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,440
Where's Justin gone?
We're ready here.
614
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,200
Counting his bloody money, probably.
615
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,520
I'll go and look for him.
616
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,480
I was going to offer
to be his butler anyway.
617
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,000
THEY LAUGH
618
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,960
I'm sorry, I just don't understand
why he couldn't stay another night.
619
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,200
I'm sorry, but it's my week.
620
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,880
Justin, you know this.
621
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,800
But surely he can stay
for the photograph.
622
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,160
We've got to get the last train.
623
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,360
Don't make it harder than it
needs to be.
624
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:43,880
I'll see you next week, Dad.
625
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,600
Claire, I just... All I'm...
I know.
626
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,000
OK.
627
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,360
All right.
628
00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:50,840
I am...I am getting through this.
629
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,840
I am, I promise you. I just...I just
miss us being together, that's all.
630
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,200
HE SIGHS
631
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,760
See you soon, little man.
632
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:04,520
Sorry.
633
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,960
Yeah. Yeah, it was Tizer.
Bloody hell.
634
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,800
I remember it just tasted horrible.
And I'd get free chips.
635
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,840
All right, Jeff Bezos?
636
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,320
Yeah, as all right as any of us are,
Paul.
637
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,200
They're right, you know. I wouldn't
have done what you've done.
638
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:29,760
I would have wasted the money.
639
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,160
Maybe.
640
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,680
But then I never would have had
the guts to steal that record.
641
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,680
Come on, you get in the middle.
642
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,520
We'll have rich boy in the middle,
won't we?
643
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:42,800
THEY CHEER
644
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,960
THEY CHATTER ANIMATEDLY
645
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,400
ALL: Cheese!