1
00:00:04,018 --> 00:00:05,487
- I have to say, Kendra,
2
00:00:05,522 --> 00:00:07,024
I'm surprised you swiped
on my profile.
3
00:00:07,057 --> 00:00:08,293
- Why is that?
4
00:00:08,326 --> 00:00:10,030
- Well, the last time
we saw each other,
5
00:00:10,063 --> 00:00:12,368
you placed a berserker
revenging spell on my anus.
6
00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:14,138
- How do you know
I wasn't flirting?
7
00:00:15,775 --> 00:00:18,046
So tell me about the bees.
8
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:19,482
- Wait, wait, wait,
how do you know about the bees?
9
00:00:19,516 --> 00:00:21,452
- I'm a psychic, remember?
10
00:00:21,486 --> 00:00:24,158
Somebody threw a jar of bees
at you, it's obvious.
11
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:25,360
- Bees.
12
00:00:25,394 --> 00:00:27,666
- Yeah, I don't know
who this guy is.
13
00:00:27,699 --> 00:00:30,437
He says, "I know what I did,"
but I really don't.
14
00:00:30,470 --> 00:00:31,807
I've racked my brain
trying to remember.
15
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,815
- You could try hypnosis.
- Hypnosis, ha.
16
00:00:35,848 --> 00:00:37,184
That's pseudoscience.
17
00:00:37,218 --> 00:00:38,220
- Bop.
18
00:00:38,253 --> 00:00:40,825
[eerie music]
19
00:00:40,858 --> 00:00:42,261
- [gasps]
20
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:44,600
- And welcome back.
21
00:00:44,633 --> 00:00:46,236
- Did you just hypnotize me?
22
00:00:46,269 --> 00:00:49,810
- I sure did.
- Oh. Well, what did you learn?
23
00:00:49,843 --> 00:00:52,816
- Well, whatever you did,
you don't remember.
24
00:00:52,849 --> 00:00:55,688
I searched
your entire mind palace.
25
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,559
- Wait a minute.
You were in my mind palace?
26
00:00:57,592 --> 00:00:59,195
- Oh, yes, I was.
27
00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:01,767
I liked the room filled
with "Doctor Who" trivia.
28
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,604
- Oh, pretty cool, right?
29
00:01:03,638 --> 00:01:06,744
- There's something
dorkily sexy about that.
30
00:01:06,777 --> 00:01:10,183
[romantic piano music]
31
00:01:10,217 --> 00:01:12,822
But, no, this would never work.
32
00:01:12,856 --> 00:01:14,760
- Wait, why not?
- Because you're doomed.
33
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:16,329
- I'm what?
34
00:01:16,362 --> 00:01:20,738
- I sense dark forces massing
on the horizon.
35
00:01:20,772 --> 00:01:24,880
John Hunchman, you are doomed.
36
00:01:24,913 --> 00:01:27,886
[dramatic music]
37
00:01:27,919 --> 00:01:30,157
♪ ♪
38
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,698
- Then Kendra said she had
to escape my dark fate aura
39
00:01:33,731 --> 00:01:35,668
before it infected
her inner eye.
40
00:01:35,702 --> 00:01:37,104
- Oh, I'm sorry, man.
41
00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:39,275
That sucks when they say stuff
like that.
42
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:43,517
Damn! This house is amazing!
Look at this sick house!
43
00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,454
What's the case?
What are we doing here?
44
00:01:45,487 --> 00:01:49,161
- Well, Taggy gave me a file.
- Wassup, Taggy's angels?
45
00:01:49,195 --> 00:01:50,230
- Hey, Taggy!
- No.
46
00:01:50,263 --> 00:01:51,567
- So we just --
- No.
47
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,136
It's not a phone, it's not
a phone, it's an 8-track.
48
00:01:53,169 --> 00:01:54,438
- Y'all ready
for your next case?
49
00:01:54,472 --> 00:01:55,407
Alright, here we go
50
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,748
your clients are Marco
and Miriam Sather.
51
00:01:58,781 --> 00:02:01,419
Now he's
a consultant/entrepreneur,
52
00:02:01,452 --> 00:02:04,125
she's an
entrepreneur/consultant.
53
00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:08,901
Now they would seem to have
the perfect life, and they do!
54
00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:12,542
No kids, lots of sex,
and tons of money.
55
00:02:12,575 --> 00:02:14,211
- This is the life I want.
56
00:02:14,245 --> 00:02:17,418
- That is until Marco
dumped their nest egg
57
00:02:17,451 --> 00:02:19,856
into some weird-ass island
I never heard of.
58
00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,459
Now they got nothing.
59
00:02:21,493 --> 00:02:24,231
Your job,
get their money back.
60
00:02:24,265 --> 00:02:26,704
- "Mammal Island"
isn't an actual island,
61
00:02:26,737 --> 00:02:28,841
it's a video game.
- We're addicted to it.
62
00:02:28,874 --> 00:02:30,745
- Yeah, we're almost
as well-known in there
63
00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:32,348
as we are in Richardsville.
64
00:02:32,381 --> 00:02:33,684
- But we'll lose everything
65
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,487
if you can't find
our golden parsnip.
66
00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:37,424
- A golden parsnip?
67
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,295
- It's easier to show you.
- Hmm.
68
00:02:39,328 --> 00:02:41,299
[upbeat music]
69
00:02:41,332 --> 00:02:43,436
- Welcome to Mammal Island!
70
00:02:43,470 --> 00:02:45,742
- Okay, wait, why am I a skunk?
71
00:02:45,775 --> 00:02:47,211
- The game assigns an animal
72
00:02:47,244 --> 00:02:49,616
based on your
social media profile.
73
00:02:49,649 --> 00:02:51,653
- Whoa, whoa,
what the hell is that?
74
00:02:51,687 --> 00:02:52,756
Is that a bad guy?
75
00:02:52,789 --> 00:02:53,924
- David, it's me.
I'm an axolotl.
76
00:02:53,958 --> 00:02:55,628
- Oh.
- It's a large pale salamander
77
00:02:55,661 --> 00:02:56,897
who lives alone
in darkened lakes.
78
00:02:56,930 --> 00:02:58,534
- Okay, that tracks.
79
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:00,337
- There are no bad guys
on Mammal Island,
80
00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:02,575
just a bunch of new friends
from all over the world,
81
00:03:02,609 --> 00:03:04,679
living in harmony as equals.
82
00:03:04,713 --> 00:03:06,984
- So all these animals
that we're looking at
83
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,854
are actual people out
in the real world?
84
00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,225
- Yes, of course, David,
it's an MMORPG--
85
00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:12,929
a massive multiplayer
online role-playing game.
86
00:03:12,962 --> 00:03:14,833
- I got to say,
I'm kind of into this.
87
00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:16,670
- Welcome to our humble abode.
88
00:03:16,704 --> 00:03:20,310
- This abode is even sicker
than your actual abode.
89
00:03:20,343 --> 00:03:21,513
- Yeah, we worked hard for it.
90
00:03:21,547 --> 00:03:23,517
- We grow parsnips to sell
to Paul Platypus
91
00:03:23,551 --> 00:03:24,986
in exchange for Mammalbux.
92
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:26,924
- Mammalbux, that must be
the in-game currency?
93
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,627
- Yeah.
94
00:03:28,661 --> 00:03:31,700
You use Mammalbux to buy seed
to grow more parsnips.
95
00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:33,436
- And Paul Platypus,
96
00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:35,975
is that the AI who controls
this game's economy?
97
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,581
- Yes, but he's also
our cute platypus friend.
98
00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:40,317
- All right, here's the deal,
99
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,756
every now and then, you grow
a rare golden parsnip.
100
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:44,860
- It's worth 500 times
a regular parsnip,
101
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:46,997
but to get it,
you have to buy a lot of seed.
102
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,868
- So Miriam and I, we invested
103
00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:51,673
our whole retirement fund
into buying seeds.
104
00:03:51,707 --> 00:03:53,243
- Whoa, your real
retirement fund?
105
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:54,478
Real money?
106
00:03:54,513 --> 00:03:57,017
- I'll admit it was risky,
but it paid off.
107
00:03:57,050 --> 00:03:58,521
- We grew a golden parsnip!
108
00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:00,424
- Yes, you're a boss.
109
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,927
- Yeah, sell that
to Paul Platypus
110
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,731
at peak parsnip price,
111
00:04:03,764 --> 00:04:06,369
we're looking
at a return of 250%.
112
00:04:06,402 --> 00:04:08,406
- But someone stole the parsnip
from our house,
113
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,343
and if we don't sell it
by Friday, it will rot.
114
00:04:10,377 --> 00:04:11,747
- Understood.
115
00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:14,553
So who had access
to your abode?
116
00:04:14,586 --> 00:04:16,055
- No one--we upgraded
117
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:18,861
to the Mammal Island Platinum
Platypus Security service.
118
00:04:18,894 --> 00:04:20,531
- Uh, Miriam,
we have that brunch.
119
00:04:20,565 --> 00:04:22,367
- Yeah. We got to go.
120
00:04:22,401 --> 00:04:24,806
Here's the guest key, feel free
to poke around and investigate.
121
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,743
- Ooh, I can't wait to look
around in this house.
122
00:04:26,777 --> 00:04:28,514
This is the kind of place
I'm going to get
123
00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:29,850
when we're done
with Operation Grow Up.
124
00:04:29,883 --> 00:04:32,454
- Access denied.
- What? Huh? Ow!
125
00:04:32,488 --> 00:04:33,924
Ah!
126
00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,962
No, wait, ow! My elbow!
127
00:04:35,995 --> 00:04:38,333
My little elbow,
I'm a little skunk!
128
00:04:38,366 --> 00:04:40,972
- Oh, those platypuses
do not fuck around.
129
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:50,625
- [speaking nonsense language]
130
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,562
- That's okay, Paul Platypus.
131
00:04:52,595 --> 00:04:55,467
- [speaking nonsense language]
132
00:04:56,837 --> 00:04:58,674
- Wait, a lean-to?
133
00:04:58,707 --> 00:04:59,676
- Shovel.
134
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,395
- Whoa, I owe you 49,000
fucking Mammalbux?
135
00:05:09,428 --> 00:05:10,665
I thought this stuff
was a gift.
136
00:05:14,371 --> 00:05:16,409
- Oh yeah, what if I don't feel
like paying, Paul?
137
00:05:28,701 --> 00:05:30,571
- David, David, I checked out
the house's perimeter.
138
00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:31,940
It's secure, but did you know
139
00:05:31,974 --> 00:05:33,711
that Marco and Miriam
have an infinity pool?
140
00:05:33,744 --> 00:05:35,413
And David,
they have a hedge maze.
141
00:05:35,447 --> 00:05:37,117
- I don't give two flying
fat fucks
142
00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:38,554
about a hedge maze right now.
143
00:05:38,587 --> 00:05:40,123
Look at my piece of shit
lean-turd.
144
00:05:40,156 --> 00:05:41,793
- Yeah, that's no good.
145
00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:43,631
- I'm basically an indentured
servant in this game.
146
00:05:43,664 --> 00:05:45,033
- Hi, islanders.
147
00:05:45,066 --> 00:05:46,703
I'm Annie Otter.
148
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,507
Do you want
to dig rocks with me?
149
00:05:48,541 --> 00:05:50,443
- Uh, no, thank you, Annie.
150
00:05:50,477 --> 00:05:52,147
I'm gonna get into that
parsnip market like Marco.
151
00:05:52,180 --> 00:05:53,617
That's how
I'm gonna make money.
152
00:05:53,651 --> 00:05:55,086
- Oh, I'm gonna do that too,
153
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,692
once I pay off
my student loans.
154
00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,463
I got a degree
in Mammal Island philosophy,
155
00:06:00,498 --> 00:06:02,902
but there's
a hiring freeze at MIU, so...
156
00:06:02,936 --> 00:06:05,608
- Annie, we're trying to find
the missing golden parsnip.
157
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:08,647
- Oh, I heard about that.
It's a shame.
158
00:06:08,681 --> 00:06:10,751
Marco and Miriam are so cool.
159
00:06:10,785 --> 00:06:14,124
[suspenseful music]
160
00:06:14,158 --> 00:06:16,128
- Hmm?
- That's June Raccoon.
161
00:06:16,162 --> 00:06:18,066
She's a little grumpy.
- Mm...
162
00:06:18,099 --> 00:06:20,738
- Hi, Annie!
- Guys, this is Nina Bumblebee.
163
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:22,074
- Hi.
164
00:06:22,107 --> 00:06:24,579
- She sells the best tulips
on the island.
165
00:06:24,613 --> 00:06:26,850
- Hello, Nina.
I noticed you have wings.
166
00:06:26,883 --> 00:06:28,954
Can you by any chance fly?
167
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:32,461
- Oh, not really.
- Hmm.
168
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:33,631
- Ahoy there!
169
00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:36,970
- Orville, you got
a hang glider!
170
00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:39,475
- Good catch today, enjoy.
171
00:06:39,509 --> 00:06:40,945
- This fucking game.
172
00:06:40,978 --> 00:06:43,784
- I can sell this fish
to pay down my student loans.
173
00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:46,857
- Mm-hmm.
David, let's take a break.
174
00:06:50,531 --> 00:06:52,200
- So apparently hang gliders
are new to the game,
175
00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:53,837
part of the recent upgrade.
176
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:55,173
And there's speculation, David,
177
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:57,679
that they can be used
to fly over walls.
178
00:06:57,712 --> 00:06:59,849
- Man, they have a whole
section of their fridge
179
00:06:59,883 --> 00:07:02,689
just for sushi like
what I have for batteries.
180
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,759
- I can't search Orville
the Ostrich's house,
181
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:07,899
but if he's stolen once,
he'll do it again.
182
00:07:07,932 --> 00:07:09,869
David, I need you to log back
into the game
183
00:07:09,903 --> 00:07:11,673
and tell the islanders that
184
00:07:11,707 --> 00:07:14,011
Marco and Miriam have grown
a second golden parsnip.
185
00:07:14,044 --> 00:07:16,182
- Oh, fuck that game.
- What?
186
00:07:16,215 --> 00:07:17,986
- Digging rocks to pay off
a bunch of debt,
187
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,558
it's like being trapped
in a Johnny Cash song.
188
00:07:20,591 --> 00:07:21,927
Just send everyone
a Mammal Mail
189
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,198
or something about
your fake golden parsnip.
190
00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,235
- Oh, Mammal Mail,
that's a good idea.
191
00:07:26,268 --> 00:07:28,874
Okay, I'm going back in.
- Yeah, you do that.
192
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,845
I'm gonna stay here and snoop
around to my heart's content
193
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,982
with no platypuses
getting up in my ass.
194
00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:41,165
[suspenseful music]
195
00:07:41,198 --> 00:07:42,434
- It's time.
196
00:07:44,138 --> 00:07:45,541
- Hmm.
197
00:07:45,574 --> 00:07:47,545
Huh?
- Hehe, now where is it?
198
00:07:47,578 --> 00:07:49,716
- Ah, gotcha, Orville.
199
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:51,152
- What? All of them?
200
00:07:51,185 --> 00:07:53,122
- Come on, where is it?
- They're all criminals?
201
00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:54,959
What kind of monsters
are these animals?
202
00:07:54,993 --> 00:07:56,763
[gasps]
What do you want?
203
00:07:56,797 --> 00:07:58,132
And what's with the axe?
204
00:08:01,005 --> 00:08:03,577
Good thing I memorized
this hedge maze.
205
00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:06,583
Right, right, left, left.
206
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:13,530
♪ ♪
207
00:08:22,849 --> 00:08:24,118
[gasps]
No, no, no, no!
208
00:08:24,151 --> 00:08:26,590
There is no
second golden parsnip!
209
00:08:26,623 --> 00:08:27,658
It was just bait!
210
00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:30,931
- [speaking nonsense language]
211
00:08:30,965 --> 00:08:32,535
- What? Who are you?
212
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:35,040
- Heads up!
Sorry to cut it close.
213
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:37,210
I had to find my shovel,
trade it for a crab catcher,
214
00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,914
catch a silver horseshoe crab,
215
00:08:38,947 --> 00:08:41,553
and then use that as collateral
for a hang glider loan.
216
00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:43,189
- David, I totally botched it!
217
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:45,260
I thought there was one thief,
but they were all thieves,
218
00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:46,863
and now that beautiful house
is on fire!
219
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:48,634
- Oh, let it burn.
220
00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:50,571
Listen, I've got
to show you something.
221
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:59,288
♪ ♪
222
00:09:01,058 --> 00:09:03,997
- [humming]
223
00:09:07,939 --> 00:09:10,276
Is it time, my love?
224
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:13,817
- Annie the Otter,
you're busted.
225
00:09:14,819 --> 00:09:18,794
- [grunting]
226
00:09:18,827 --> 00:09:21,265
- You see, we were never meant
to find the golden parsnip.
227
00:09:21,298 --> 00:09:23,637
Marco gave it to Annie Otter
228
00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:25,708
and was using us
to stall for time.
229
00:09:25,741 --> 00:09:27,812
- How did you find out
Marco was having an affair?
230
00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:29,248
- Love letters.
231
00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:31,753
Actual, old-fashioned
human mail
232
00:09:31,787 --> 00:09:35,828
found through actual,
old-fashioned bedroom snooping.
233
00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:39,334
Annie the Otter
is someone named Lisa Holly.
234
00:09:39,368 --> 00:09:41,973
- Our interior decorator's
social media strategist?
235
00:09:42,007 --> 00:09:43,242
- Hold on, wait a minute,
236
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:45,380
why was Marco stealing
from his own wife?
237
00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:48,219
- Because he's broke!
The trust fund is in my name.
238
00:09:48,252 --> 00:09:49,789
- Trust fund?
239
00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,760
I thought you made
all your money
240
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:53,764
from consulting
and entreprenursing.
241
00:09:53,797 --> 00:09:56,368
- No, it's my
great-grandaddy's money.
242
00:09:56,402 --> 00:10:00,143
Mostly from tobacco,
a little from asbestos.
243
00:10:00,176 --> 00:10:01,913
- Okay, let me
get this straight.
244
00:10:01,947 --> 00:10:05,353
While we were all playing fair,
digging these infernal rocks,
245
00:10:05,386 --> 00:10:06,857
you two were cheating the game
246
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,629
by buying your way
into a golden parsnip
247
00:10:09,662 --> 00:10:11,967
using money you inherited
from cancer?
248
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,706
- That's how wealth works.
- [laughs]
249
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,845
Oh, man,
what a crazy adventure.
250
00:10:17,879 --> 00:10:19,682
This is the part
where we all laugh, right?
251
00:10:19,716 --> 00:10:22,087
Maybe a freeze frame? Watch.
252
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,728
Guys, freeze.
253
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:28,901
- I never freeze.
254
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:31,405
- Mr. Tagliano,
I need a divorce attorney.
255
00:10:31,438 --> 00:10:33,744
- Oh, right, different mood.
256
00:10:36,148 --> 00:10:37,919
- You what sucks, man?
257
00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:40,356
I thought Marco and I were
gonna wind up like brunch bros,
258
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,262
united by the meritocracy
of the free market.
259
00:10:43,296 --> 00:10:44,899
And it turns out he was just,
260
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:47,137
like, a rich, spoiled,
cheating asshole.
261
00:10:47,170 --> 00:10:48,841
I mean, what are
the odds of that?
262
00:10:48,874 --> 00:10:50,711
- Well, David, you did
some pretty good wheeling
263
00:10:50,744 --> 00:10:52,748
and dealing to get
that hang glider.
264
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,420
I mean, Dr. Marjorie Frost
would be proud, probably.
265
00:10:55,453 --> 00:10:58,259
- That's true, I did rock
that hang glider exchange.
266
00:10:58,292 --> 00:11:00,764
Uh, why are you still
playing that, though?
267
00:11:00,798 --> 00:11:02,969
- Miriam gave it to me.
Didn't want it.
268
00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:03,904
- Are you having fun?
269
00:11:03,937 --> 00:11:05,139
- Um.
270
00:11:05,173 --> 00:11:06,208
No.
271
00:11:06,242 --> 00:11:09,181
[tense music]
272
00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:10,951
♪ ♪
273
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:24,011
Made in Georgia