1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,000
[mysterious music playing]

2
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:57,250
Agent Steel. So good to see you!

3
00:00:57,333 --> 00:00:59,291
Becker, you old bastard.

4
00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:01,083
Come in! Come in.

5
00:01:06,291 --> 00:01:08,041
- Whiskey?
- Eh... Y...

6
00:01:08,125 --> 00:01:12,666
Yes, that is exactly what I want.
Whiskey. Perfect.

7
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,041
[clears throat]

8
00:01:19,041 --> 00:01:20,666
- Cheers!
- Cheers!

9
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,500
[hoarsely] Good stuff. Real quenching.

10
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,958
It was good to hear from you.

11
00:01:28,041 --> 00:01:31,125
- It must be what, 15 years?
- Twenty.

12
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:34,833
What? Time flies.
What are you up to this time?

13
00:01:34,916 --> 00:01:38,250
Well, I'm on a mission.
An off-the-books kind of mission.

14
00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:40,833
So secret, I'm only one
who knows about it.

15
00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:42,625
Oh!

16
00:01:42,708 --> 00:01:45,791
That is <i>very</i> secret. Come with me.

17
00:01:45,875 --> 00:01:49,166
I've got some new toys
for you to play with.

18
00:01:50,041 --> 00:01:52,041
[goats bleating]

19
00:01:55,541 --> 00:01:57,541
[mechanical whirring]

20
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,375
So I got your list.

21
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:08,125
I think I have everything you requested...
and more.

22
00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:10,250
Well, good. I didn't manage
to bring any equipment,

23
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,250
so I'm really
counting on you here, Becker.

24
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,166
First I have this for you.

25
00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,916
Forget the old typewriter.

26
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:20,583
With this beauty,
everything is powered with electricity.

27
00:02:20,666 --> 00:02:25,333
Only 16 pounds,
built-in speaker, adjustable volume.

28
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:26,916
Uh... Adjustable?

29
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,041
So you're not stuck
on real loud or real low? Uh, good.

30
00:02:30,125 --> 00:02:33,583
And you want to make a call without
the hassle of finding a phone booth?

31
00:02:33,666 --> 00:02:36,208
Well, watch carefully.

32
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:40,125
Practical. Also eliminates
the need for pocket change.

33
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,500
Exactly. Pretty neat.

34
00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:46,000
Now, do pay attention please.

35
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,458
Want to know what this little baby can do?

36
00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:51,208
Takes photos. It's a camera.

37
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:55,708
Not bad, Steel. How about this pen?

38
00:02:55,791 --> 00:02:58,250
- Seems regular to you. Right?
- Sure does.

39
00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,041
Would you say
it looks like an everyday pen?

40
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:02,125
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

41
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,375
- Laser!
- Oh.

42
00:03:03,458 --> 00:03:06,708
Ask me to point at something.
Anything in here. Take your pick.

43
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:10,750
- Uh... The floor.
- There! Look at it go!

44
00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:12,375
Pretty neat, eh?

45
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,791
Yeah. Very, actually. Very neat.

46
00:03:15,875 --> 00:03:18,958
Now, over to the fun stuff.

47
00:03:19,791 --> 00:03:21,375
- [beeps]
- [whirs]

48
00:03:25,708 --> 00:03:28,708
Here's everything you'll ever need
for your mission.

49
00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:31,666
[clock ticking]

50
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,083
Pick and choose.

51
00:03:36,791 --> 00:03:40,458
Ah, Becker, I was countin' on you here.
I didn't bring anything on this mission.

52
00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:44,708
I don't even have my iPhone.
Jesus Christ, and that suit.

53
00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,916
I'm going to look like Sherlock Holmes.
How old are you now, Becker?

54
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,125
Fifteen, but I'll be 16 next month,
and on my sweet 16,

55
00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:56,875
I'm going to try and steal a kiss
from Miss Adelaide Simpson.

56
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:59,666
Oh, if her mother doesn't object.

57
00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,666
[frantic string music playing]

58
00:04:14,791 --> 00:04:17,083
Finally, a cruise to look forward to.

59
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:19,500
Yeah, time to blow off some steam.

60
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:21,791
And by steam, I mean semen.

61
00:04:21,875 --> 00:04:22,708
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

62
00:04:22,791 --> 00:04:25,708
I'm going to spray sperm
into female passengers,

63
00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:28,291
or into the condom
that's inside the females.

64
00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:31,625
- [Liza] Mm.
- And touch breasts and fingerbang.

65
00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:34,708
And maybe lick a little, you know?

66
00:04:34,791 --> 00:04:37,916
It's going to be great.
A real fornication festival, eh?

67
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,541
- It will, right?
- Yeah, always is.

68
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:43,333
I got so much meat last year
in such a short amount of time,

69
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,250
I had to triple the dose of Plan B pills.

70
00:04:45,333 --> 00:04:46,708
Really fucked up my digestion.

71
00:04:46,791 --> 00:04:48,333
The last couple of days last year,

72
00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:50,708
my penis was all numb and swollen,

73
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:53,833
but I just kept going and going,
never giving in.

74
00:04:53,916 --> 00:04:55,250
Pushing it to the max.

75
00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:58,041
Wow, that's so cool. So cool.

76
00:04:58,125 --> 00:04:59,833
Okay, let's get to it.

77
00:05:01,791 --> 00:05:05,333
Hey, hey, hey. Hold it, hold it, señorita.
Are you on the right cruise?

78
00:05:05,416 --> 00:05:06,875
Pretty sure I am.

79
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:09,666
No, no, no, no. That can't be right.

80
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:13,875
Why on earth would a beautiful girl
like you be single? Come on.

81
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:15,000
Hold on, sir.

82
00:05:15,083 --> 00:05:16,541
Are you on the right cruise?

83
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:17,833
<i>Oui.</i> I am.

84
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:22,166
No, that can't be right. Why on earth
would a gorgeous guy like you be single?

85
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,541
Are you sure you're on the right cruise?

86
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,041
Enjoy your beverages, ladies!

87
00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:33,000
Günther! There you are.

88
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:37,500
<i>Hallo,</i> Captain. Can I get you anything?
I can recommend the Tequila Slammer.

89
00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:40,625
Oh, uh... I would... No, thanks.
I wondered if you had time

90
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:43,166
to set up a candlelight
dinner for me tonight?

91
00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,833
Oh, absolutely, sir.
I will fix that, no worries.

92
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:46,916
Oh, yes! Great.

93
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,041
Uh... I want kind of a <i>Lady and the Tramp</i>
vibe to it, if that rings a bell?

94
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:55,000
Mm, of course, I love that movie.
Very romantic. Nice choice.

95
00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:57,083
Oh, great. Yeah. [chuckles]

96
00:05:57,583 --> 00:06:01,083
I was in love with, uh, Lady
for quite a few years there.

97
00:06:01,166 --> 00:06:03,916
Never understood
what she saw in the Tramp.

98
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:07,000
Anyway, may I ask you
a personal question, sir?

99
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,166
[Jonathan] Sure. Shoot.

100
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,250
[clears throat]
Are you a man who likes humor?

101
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:11,573
Do you like to laugh, ha-ha-ha?

102
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:14,833
Oh, of course. I love to laugh, ha-ha-ha.

103
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,333
- Who doesn't?
- Oh, great!

104
00:06:16,416 --> 00:06:19,208
Because Hans actually has
a very great stand-up routine

105
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:20,875
I've been meaning to tell you about.

106
00:06:20,958 --> 00:06:23,458
He could perform it
while you have your romantic dinner.

107
00:06:23,541 --> 00:06:24,791
Oh...

108
00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,458
Yeah, well, um... [tuts]

109
00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:31,041
I think I just wanna make this
a more intimate thing.

110
00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:33,041
Oh, absolutely understood. Yes, of course.

111
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:35,791
[clears throat] Eh... Uh...
But humor can actually, you know,

112
00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,708
tie people closer together
in a romantic way

113
00:06:38,791 --> 00:06:41,625
because you release endorphins
that... uh... relax you.

114
00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:44,416
Yes, uh... for sure. I... Hmm.

115
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:48,958
You know, let... let... let's just try
to find, uh, another night for that, okay?

116
00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:51,125
[clears throat] Of course.
You are the captain.

117
00:06:51,208 --> 00:06:52,583
[chuckles] Yes.

118
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:54,625
Okay, thanks, Günther.

119
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:58,958
Captain? Captain? Eh, it's just that,
well, you haven't heard his material,

120
00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:01,166
so it's only natural
that you are reluctant,

121
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,708
and I understand that 100%.

122
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,458
- Good! [chuckles]
- [Günther] Um...

123
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:07,476
But you... But you know
when you see a great movie,

124
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:09,708
and you tell people
that they should go see it maybe,

125
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:12,208
and they're like,
"Yeah, perhaps at a later time..."

126
00:07:12,291 --> 00:07:13,166
Yes.

127
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,458
And when they do
eventually see it, they are like,

128
00:07:15,541 --> 00:07:18,625
"Oh, I wish I would have listened
to the person recommending it

129
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:23,416
and seen it right away because it was
a great movie that I thoroughly enjoyed."

130
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:25,708
This is a situation just like that.

131
00:07:25,791 --> 00:07:27,250
- It's identical.
- Okay.

132
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:31,041
But, um, can we just talk
about this later? [chuckles]

133
00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:33,416
I... I really wanna make this date perfect.

134
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:37,041
Sure. Yes, let's just circle back
to that later and come up with a plan

135
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:39,375
for an event
here in the restaurant or something.

136
00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:40,333
Yeah, sure.

137
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,625
P... Perfect. Thank you so much, sir.

138
00:07:43,458 --> 00:07:44,458
<i>Ja!</i>

139
00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:45,875
[chatter]

140
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,875
Uh, this is the key
to what we call the "fuckabin"

141
00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:53,250
because we put the two words
"fuck" and "cabin" together.

142
00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:56,125
- It's like a joke.
- Yeah, she gets it. Thanks, Nico.

143
00:07:56,208 --> 00:08:00,125
- Wow, thank you.
- And bring your beautiful friend as well.

144
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,500
We'll be there. [laughs]

145
00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:06,541
Nico, you don't have to explain the joke.
It takes the coolness out of it.

146
00:08:06,625 --> 00:08:10,500
Just say "fuckabin" like it is
the most natural word in the world.

147
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:14,333
- And say it with confidence.
- Oh. Oh yeah, sure. Yeah. Totally.

148
00:08:14,416 --> 00:08:16,833
Sorry. So... That makes total sense.

149
00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:18,041
See you there, boys.

150
00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:22,041
Make sure to drink some egg whites, eh?
Hydrate beforehand. Bring your A-game.

151
00:08:22,125 --> 00:08:24,250
Okay. Yes. Sure. Can't wait.

152
00:08:25,791 --> 00:08:28,750
Uh, can I have
everyone's attention please?

153
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:33,083
Hello. My name is Jonathan Fall,
and I am the captain of this ship,

154
00:08:33,166 --> 00:08:37,416
and I would like to welcome you all
to the Singles Cruise!

155
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,416
- [cheering and applause]
- Wh... What is that I'm feeling in the air?

156
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,750
Can you... Can you guys feel that?

157
00:08:44,666 --> 00:08:46,416
What is that? It's so weird.

158
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,583
It's a romance! [chuckles]

159
00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:52,416
It's romance... is in the air,
what I'm feeling.

160
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:57,250
And, you know, it's not every day
we get to watch Cupid in action,

161
00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,333
so that sure is exciting.

162
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:04,458
But can I have Miss Liza Barell
join me onstage, please?

163
00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:05,791
- No, I... I...
- Liza Barell?

164
00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:07,833
- I would love to be on top of you.
- [chuckles]

165
00:09:07,916 --> 00:09:10,208
Liza? Oh, there you are, Liza.

166
00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:11,931
- Lick you up and down.
- [Jonathan] Liza?

167
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:14,583
- Wh... What?
- [Jonathan] Come on up here, sweetheart.

168
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:16,041
[cheering and applause]

169
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:20,750
I am just so happy Miss Barell and I
don't have to run around

170
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:23,750
trying to find a soulmate
because we've already found ours.

171
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:25,666
[dance-pop music playing]

172
00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,916
[wolf-whistles]

173
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,333
Good luck, singles! Have fun.

174
00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:33,583
[chuckles] Thanks, guys.

175
00:09:33,666 --> 00:09:37,041
Yep. Sorry, she's off the market.
[chuckles] Taken.

176
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:39,333
So hands off. [chuckles]

177
00:09:39,416 --> 00:09:40,250
Okay.

178
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:43,708
- Wow, Captain. That was so romantic.
- Oh, thanks.

179
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:47,166
I'm just hoping that one day
I will experience the intense love

180
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:48,500
you guys have going.

181
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:50,625
I'm so envious of you two.

182
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:52,833
Well, don't give up, my <i>amigo.</i>

183
00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:55,875
That special someone
is out there somewhere.

184
00:09:55,958 --> 00:09:57,166
I sure hope so.

185
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:59,666
And Pedro, when you lose your virginity,

186
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,458
just make sure
that it's with the right girl.

187
00:10:02,541 --> 00:10:05,291
Wait until you find the one.

188
00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:06,375
Thanks, <i>amigo.</i>

189
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,666
That's some good advice there. Definitely.

190
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,708
- I will make a note of that in my journal.
- Great. [chuckles]

191
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:16,958
And Liza, uh,
I have another surprise in store for you.

192
00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,041
Okay?

193
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,208
Are you ready for an experience
out of the ordinary?

194
00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:23,833
I was. Very much. Yeah.

195
00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:26,000
Oh, great. Come with me.

196
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,625
[softly] Guys? What the fuck?

197
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,500
[Nico whistles]

198
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,833
[smooth jazz playing]

199
00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:43,750
- Captain, your beverage.
- Oh, thanks, Günther.

200
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:44,833
Looks delicious.

201
00:10:48,791 --> 00:10:51,791
[slurps] Mm! Ah. Ooh. That's great.

202
00:10:51,875 --> 00:10:53,708
You know, nothin' beats
that sparkling feeling

203
00:10:53,791 --> 00:10:55,708
you get from a quality soda.

204
00:10:55,791 --> 00:10:57,083
And this is real Cola.

205
00:10:57,166 --> 00:11:01,125
So no cheap imitation Cola here. No, sir.

206
00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:04,083
- [sighs] Good.
- Mm. It is, right?

207
00:11:04,166 --> 00:11:08,125
So I'm kind of on duty.
I really have to get back to work.

208
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:11,125
Oh, well, one of the perks
of dating the captain,

209
00:11:11,208 --> 00:11:13,083
I can decide to give you a night off.

210
00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:15,791
- And that I have done.
- Oh.

211
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:19,750
Isn't it great to just get away
from the meat market downstairs

212
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,958
and just cultivate each other instead?

213
00:11:22,458 --> 00:11:26,208
I bet Pedro and them are... [chuckles]
...pretty envious of us now.

214
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:28,750
[sighs] Yeah, I am sure they are.

215
00:11:28,833 --> 00:11:31,750
Yeah, because, you know,
when you think about it,

216
00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:34,291
this is exactly what they're looking for.

217
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:37,916
You know? What we... have here.
[chuckles softly]

218
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
[dance music playing]

219
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:52,916
[phone buzzes]

220
00:11:53,916 --> 00:11:55,208
[Jonathan slurps] Mm!

221
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:57,666
Holy mama, that was a great can of Сola.

222
00:11:58,208 --> 00:12:00,333
Even better than I expected. Hoo!

223
00:12:00,416 --> 00:12:01,416
Mm-hmm.

224
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,125
Ooh. [chuckles]

225
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:04,916
- Miss Popular. [chuckles]
- What?

226
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,625
Uh... N... Uh, no, it's just a work thing.

227
00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:10,500
Oh, well, you know,
you can forget all about work now

228
00:12:10,583 --> 00:12:13,041
because I have made conversation cards,

229
00:12:13,125 --> 00:12:16,125
so that we, in a natural way,
can learn everything there is

230
00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:19,291
to know about each other
without it feeling forced.

231
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,250
Okay, I'm here.

232
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,666
All right. So what's your poison?

233
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:28,125
Uh... Weather?
Prices of things, before and now?

234
00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:30,291
Uh... Cat person or dog person?

235
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,791
Oh, here's a great one.

236
00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,208
Soft drinks. [laughs]

237
00:12:36,666 --> 00:12:38,666
[gulls squawking]

238
00:12:38,750 --> 00:12:40,750
[tense music playing]

239
00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:44,666
We meet again, my white whale.

240
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:49,583
Tonight, we dance.

241
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,208
[Liza sighs]

242
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:57,000
- Hey.
- Hey. Good date?

243
00:12:57,083 --> 00:13:00,541
No! That little cuntblocker
blocked cunt all night and beyond, really.

244
00:13:00,625 --> 00:13:04,166
- I'm a marked woman on this cruise, boys.
- I'm sorry to hear.

245
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:07,750
Yeah, that sucks
because yesterday was wild.

246
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:11,000
We were tapping asses
for like five hours straight.

247
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,000
- What?
- Yeah.

248
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,309
- [Liza sighs]
- [Pedro] Mm-hmm.

249
00:13:13,333 --> 00:13:15,416
Classic tag teaming
with one of us going at it

250
00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:18,000
while the other
was hydrating and encouraging.

251
00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:19,083
It was awesome,

252
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:22,708
but it was way more exhausting
than I thought it would be, to be honest.

253
00:13:22,791 --> 00:13:26,958
When you reach hour four and five,
you're just running on fumes.

254
00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:29,375
You're hitting that poontang on pure will.

255
00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:31,958
- Are you going back at it tonight?
- No, no, no.

256
00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:33,916
Not a chance. Too sore.

257
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,875
Ah, me too. All swollen.

258
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,416
- [Liza] Ugh.
- Ah. [inhales sharply]

259
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,458
My dick skin has these crazy burns.

260
00:13:39,541 --> 00:13:42,291
It couldn't handle
all those hours of friction.

261
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,791
Greetings, Al Jamain.

262
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:49,125
<i>Hello.</i> Habibti <i>Liza, my beautiful.</i>

263
00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:52,041
<i>I wanted to make sure
everything is in place for the delivery.</i>

264
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,416
Yes, sir. Have we ever let you down?

265
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,833
<i>No. I can thank you
for so many of my wives.</i>

266
00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:58,750
I know.

267
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:01,500
<i>Okay, I have looked at all the photos.</i>

268
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,625
<i>They are all so beautiful.</i>

269
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:06,000
<i>It's going to be very hard
to make a choice.</i>

270
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:07,791
Just follow your heart

271
00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,250
or sense of aesthetics.

272
00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:12,250
There's no right or wrong
when it comes to collecting a harem.

273
00:14:12,333 --> 00:14:15,875
<i>Ah, Liza, are you sure
I can't tempt you to join my harem?</i>

274
00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:19,208
<i>You'd be one
of my top-ten wives, definitely.</i>

275
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:22,458
Sorry, Al Jamain.
It's... It is very tempting, but, um...

276
00:14:22,541 --> 00:14:25,000
you know, my heart
is in human trafficking, so...

277
00:14:25,083 --> 00:14:27,291
[laughs] <i>Very well.</i>

278
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:30,458
<i>I will see you tonight
with a broken heart.</i>

279
00:14:38,083 --> 00:14:39,875
[dramatic music playing]

280
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,916
[water gurgles]

281
00:15:20,791 --> 00:15:22,666
[camera clicks, whirs]

282
00:15:28,958 --> 00:15:30,375
[camera clicking, whirring]

283
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:40,833
[blows]

284
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,625
[sighs] So time-consuming.

285
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:19,791
[keypad beeps]

286
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:26,583
I don't even understand
why you would think

287
00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:31,083
it is okay to fart in a little room
that is being used by multiple people.

288
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:33,500
I am sorry,
but there isn't a fart fan in there.

289
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:36,250
[Liza] There is no such thing
as a fart fan, Günther.

290
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,583
Leave the room and fart
like a normal person.

291
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:42,291
<i>Ja,</i> I am actually
on Liza's side on this one.

292
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:46,000
I can only apologize,
but I know it doesn't make things right.

293
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:49,625
I let you down, but more importantly,

294
00:16:50,125 --> 00:16:51,250
I let myself down.

295
00:16:52,833 --> 00:16:54,291
[beeps]

296
00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,583
[sniffs]

297
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:26,833
[Steel] Bingo.

298
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:29,166
The head of the snake.

299
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,916
It is my great honor to welcome you

300
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,541
to the Caribbean Queen's
mandatory foam party!

301
00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:39,625
[dance music playing]

302
00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,708
Have fun in the foam! I know I will.

303
00:17:46,791 --> 00:17:48,250
[cheering]

304
00:18:07,833 --> 00:18:08,875
[music stops]

305
00:18:24,416 --> 00:18:27,458
Her, her, her,

306
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:29,333
and... her.

307
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,375
[ominous music playing]

308
00:18:49,083 --> 00:18:50,125
[Al Jamain] Ah, Liza!

309
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,041
Mwah, mwah!

310
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:54,416
This is so exciting.

311
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,166
I... I can't believe
that my future wife is lying among them.

312
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:01,375
Feel my heart.
It's racing with love! [laughs]

313
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:05,875
Yes, I can tell you're all giddy.
So these are your top five.

314
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,166
Huh.

315
00:19:07,250 --> 00:19:09,291
Uh, the devil is in the details.

316
00:19:11,208 --> 00:19:12,833
Beautiful teeth.

317
00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:14,375
Probably wore braces.

318
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:18,000
- A few fillings.
- You can never be too anal.

319
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:23,541
Liza, I don't want them too skinny, huh?

320
00:19:24,416 --> 00:19:25,833
Wow. Ah.

321
00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:29,666
This one is a keeper, huh?
Look at those hips. [chuckles]

322
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,958
She will give me many sons. Hmm.

323
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,000
Yeah, this is the one. [chuckles]

324
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:37,916
I never believed
in love at first sight, but, uh...

325
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:41,291
[tearfully] I have found my wife!

326
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:45,208
- [cheering, ululating]
- [gunshots]

327
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,041
[Nico] Woman overboard.

328
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:53,375
Another tragic suicide
on the Singles Cruise.

329
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:57,250
Classic story of unbearable heartbreak.
Happens every year.

330
00:19:57,333 --> 00:19:58,625
[laughing]

331
00:19:58,708 --> 00:20:01,750
You say that
because it's not true, huh? [chuckles]

332
00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:04,541
You sell women to me
and let the families think

333
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:08,750
they have committed suicide
or ran away, and they are devastated.

334
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,875
[chortles]

335
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:14,250
[chuckles] Yeah, yeah.
That was the intent of the joke,

336
00:20:14,333 --> 00:20:17,916
but when you say it like that,
it doesn't sound that funny.

337
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,416
I'm still laughing. [laughs]

338
00:20:25,208 --> 00:20:26,208
[camera clicks, whirs]

339
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,125
[whirring continues]

340
00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:32,458
[tense music playing]

341
00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:36,083
[music fades]

342
00:20:36,166 --> 00:20:39,583
Shark. Shark! This is Iron.
Can you hear me?

343
00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:41,626
- [at high volume] <i>This is Becker!</i>
- [radio beeps]

344
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,958
[quieter] <i>What can I do for you,
Agent Steel from the Special Unit?</i>

345
00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:47,375
Sh!

346
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,916
[softly] I'm Iron. We're using code names.

347
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,750
<i>- Roger that, Agent Steel!</i>
- Iron!

348
00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:56,291
[softly] Iron. Iron. Listen to me.
I am playing with fire here,

349
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:58,458
and I might not make it out alive.

350
00:20:58,541 --> 00:21:01,916
<i>Got it, Agent Steel... Iron... Steel.</i>

351
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,583
What? What?
If anything should happen to me,

352
00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:08,625
I want you to know that this sneaky
Goody Two-shoes is running this.

353
00:21:08,708 --> 00:21:11,583
His name is Captain Fall. Take that down.

354
00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:13,583
<i>It's okay. I'll memorize it.</i>

355
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,208
No! No. No.

356
00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:17,625
Write it down, for the love of God.

357
00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:20,333
- Captain Fall.
<i>- No, no, no. I don't have to.</i>

358
00:21:20,416 --> 00:21:22,916
<i>That name is easy to remember, you see?</i>

359
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,791
Just grab a pen and paper real quick.
Real quick!

360
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:29,041
Just write it down. Captain Fall. Please.

361
00:21:29,125 --> 00:21:29,958
<i>No, no, no, no.</i>

362
00:21:30,041 --> 00:21:32,625
<i>You can lose a piece of paper
just like that.</i>

363
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,666
<i>- I'll put that in my vault.</i>
- No vault.

364
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:37,250
<i>My head is my hard disk.</i>

365
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,666
No, please!
This is just too important. Captain Fall.

366
00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:43,416
He needs to go behind bars.
Are you writing this down?

367
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:46,500
[Becker] Is that you,
Miss Adelaide Simpson?

368
00:21:47,125 --> 00:21:49,041
- Mm!
- [Steel] <i>What the Jesus Christ?</i>

369
00:21:49,125 --> 00:21:50,458
<i>Becker, it's Agent Steel.</i>

370
00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:54,125
<i>- I love what you've done to your hair.</i>
- Hello? Shark?

371
00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:56,791
<i>- Have you lost weight, you little minx?</i>
- Becker?

372
00:21:58,833 --> 00:22:02,750
You know, if it wasn't for social media
and Tinder and all that,

373
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:05,125
I wouldn't have to go through
all this hassle.

374
00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:06,583
- No?
- Ah...

375
00:22:06,666 --> 00:22:09,125
Dating is like a full-time job these days.

376
00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:13,291
I just don't have that time to swipe
and slide into DMs and all that.

377
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:15,333
Mm. I see your point.

378
00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:17,916
Well, your new wife
is sound asleep right now,

379
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,791
but should wake up
in an hour or so. Enjoy!

380
00:22:20,875 --> 00:22:25,833
Oh, and Liza, extend my gratitude
to Captain Fall, huh? <i>Shukran, habibti.</i>

381
00:22:39,708 --> 00:22:42,291
[whirring]

382
00:22:43,625 --> 00:22:45,041
[sighs] Hmm.

383
00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:48,750
- She might end up really happy, you know.
- Yeah, absolutely.

384
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:54,166
Sparks could go flying when she wakes up
in that submarine with him, and... you know,

385
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,958
they could get a connection or something,

386
00:22:57,041 --> 00:23:00,458
and that can evolve into true love.

387
00:23:00,541 --> 00:23:03,625
I would say probably. Yeah.

388
00:23:03,708 --> 00:23:05,750
Well, I'll just head down
with the diamonds.

389
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,083
You guys get this party started again.

390
00:23:16,625 --> 00:23:18,625
[dance music playing]

391
00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,375
[groaning softly]

392
00:23:22,166 --> 00:23:23,583
[whooping, cheering]

393
00:23:29,875 --> 00:23:32,958
I'm gonna take a little breather.
This foam is making me dizzy.

394
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:35,291
What?

395
00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:38,583
I said I'm going to take a breather.
This foam is making me dizzy.

396
00:23:38,666 --> 00:23:40,708
You just keep doing your music thing.
This is great!

397
00:23:41,541 --> 00:23:42,541
What?

398
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:52,250
[thunder rumbles]

399
00:23:56,375 --> 00:23:58,500
[Jonathan] Hey, hey, hey. What the hemp?

400
00:23:58,583 --> 00:24:00,666
Don't dive at night, sir. That's not safe.

401
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,583
Oh, there you are, Captain Fall.

402
00:24:04,166 --> 00:24:05,583
[Jonathan] Well, yes.

403
00:24:05,666 --> 00:24:09,000
Rarely have I encountered such pure evil.

404
00:24:09,083 --> 00:24:13,000
I must admit, I do respect
such a formidable and cunning adversary,

405
00:24:13,083 --> 00:24:17,041
but it's game over for you.
See you in court, Captain.

406
00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:18,833
What? Are you going to sue me

407
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,958
because you couldn't find
that special someone on this cruise?

408
00:24:22,041 --> 00:24:23,625
What the hell are you talking about?

409
00:24:23,708 --> 00:24:26,166
I've enough evidence here
to put you away for life.

410
00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:29,250
To... To jail? W... Why would you do that?

411
00:24:29,333 --> 00:24:32,708
Don't play coy with me.
You run this whole damn operation,

412
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:36,000
and I've seen the horrible things
going down in your hull.

413
00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:38,416
How can you live with yourself, Fall?

414
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:40,958
[beeping]

415
00:24:42,291 --> 00:24:44,166
We have a Code Red. I repeat, Code Red.

416
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:46,583
There's an intruder on board.
Aft on third deck.

417
00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:48,708
I repeat, aft on third deck.

418
00:24:49,583 --> 00:24:52,375
Okay, I am not really with you here, sir.

419
00:24:52,458 --> 00:24:55,666
I'm just a faithful captain
transporting people from A to B

420
00:24:55,750 --> 00:24:58,291
while trying to give them
the best time of their lives.

421
00:24:58,375 --> 00:25:00,656
[mockingly] "I'm just a faithful captain."
No, you're not!

422
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,875
You are a horrible person,
you do horrible things,

423
00:25:02,958 --> 00:25:05,208
and you deserve everything
that's comin' to you.

424
00:25:05,291 --> 00:25:08,000
Wow, that is crazy talk.

425
00:25:08,083 --> 00:25:11,583
I have never hurt anyone.
Not even emotionally.

426
00:25:11,666 --> 00:25:15,750
You're doomed, Captain Fall,
and I will personally see to that.

427
00:25:15,833 --> 00:25:17,958
I am? Seriously?

428
00:25:18,041 --> 00:25:21,208
- [thunder crashes]
- But I don't even know who you are.

429
00:25:21,291 --> 00:25:22,875
Who I am? Well,

430
00:25:23,708 --> 00:25:25,000
I'm Agent Steel,

431
00:25:25,083 --> 00:25:28,750
and I am your worst nightmare.

432
00:25:28,833 --> 00:25:30,041
[thunder crashes]

433
00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:34,625
You are?

434
00:25:35,458 --> 00:25:37,458
[suspenseful music builds]

435
00:25:39,750 --> 00:25:41,666
[music fades]

436
00:25:44,250 --> 00:25:46,250
[elevator music playing]