Hi! I'm Patrick Star!
And I live with my parents! Ow!
This is my dad!
This is my mom!
This is my sister! She's shy.
This is my grandpa.
This is my room!
And this...
This is my show!
Another horrid day.
Just like every other one before it.
"Spa Day"?
Well, between my failure of a grandson
and my nightmare neighbors,
Neptune knows I need one!
Well, hello, Miss Neighbor Tentacles,
how are you?
Jelly taser.
Never leave home without it.
What do you think you're doing?
Watching your house.
♪ tense music playing
I'm keeping our block safe
and secure.
♪ music swells
Ugh, this place gets worse every day.
Okay, sure, here's five bucks for your trouble.
Keep the place safe,
and stop lurkin' around outside my house!
If Granny Tentacles said to stop lurking around
outside the house,
then I better lurk inside the house!
Ah, well, how the heck am I gonna get in?
Just gotta think!
Hey, wait a minute!
I don't gotta think!
'Cause it looks like I'm already inside!
♪ tense music continues ♪
Now let's neighborhood watch some stuff.
Boring old lady junk.
More boring old lady junk.
Doorknob.
Clown painting.
And two pillows!
Two pretty lumpy pillows.
Hm, a good neighbor would fluff out these lumps!
No, still too lumpy!
There!
Perfectly flat, zero lumps!
♪ comedic musical sting
Oh!
Wrong.
Anything in here for a good neighbor to watch?
Oh, my gosh!
♪ dramatic musical sting
Oh, you poor, sweet, innocent animal!
How long have you been locked up in here?
Well, don't you worry!
Papa Patrick knows exactly what you need
to feel all better.
♪ music stops
Freedom!
Now go!
Run wild!
♪ playful music plays
Wow, I can't believe Granny Tentacles
would keep an innocent creature locked up like that.
Another one?!
"Sweet old lady" my foot.
Hey, there, little guy. It's okay.
I'm not scary.
Come on, little fella, I won't bite.
Ow!
You're kissing me.
I'm gonna call you "Kissy."
Come on, Kissy,
let's go neighborhood watch some TV.
Oh, look, Kissy!
The Patrick Show is on!
Patrick!
Where are you?
I'm right here!
But we've got a show to do!
Uh, I can't!
I got other responser-tilities!
- What? - Hold on.
Yah!
I can't do the show today
because I'm watching this!
Meet Kissy!
Uh, what am I looking at here, Patrick?
It's Kissy!
Ahh! Kissy! Where are you?!
Where is Granny Tentacles' pet worm, Kissy?!
Oh!
Kissy is the name of the worm!
Kissy...
...could be stuck...
...in the walls!
Maybe Kissy is hiding
with all this cotton candy!
Kissy, I'm coming!
Patrick, that's not...
Kissy!
Thank goodness I found you.
Now give us a kiss.
Mmm...
That wasn't Kissy.
Squidina, what are we gonna do about Kissy?
Hmm... Ooh, ha!
I've got an idea!
We'll lure Kissy back with his favorite food!
Which is...?
No idea!
So, we'll make everything!
♪ bright music plays
It's time for a...
...cooking montage!
♪ tinkling music plays
♪ fanfare music plays
♪ sparkling music playing
Well, Patrick, even if you were no help whatsoever,
we've prepared every food imaginable!
Now to call Kissy!
Oh, Kissy?
It's dinner time!
I know you're hungry!
Come and get it!
Come on, buddy! Come on!
Hmm?
We're not gonna hurt you.
We made your favorite food!
Right, Patrick?
What happened to all the food?
Ugh!
Okay. Time for plan B.
If we want to catch an animal,
we gotta think like an animal.
If you were Kissy,
where would you be right now?
Eating Granny Tentacles' slippers!
Hang on! Hang on!
I'm here to clip Granny's toenails.
Whoa!
Oh, gross!
Down, boy!
I've got a bone for you!
Want the bone?
Go get it!
What a bonehead.
Patrick, sit!
Stay.
And... stop acting like a dog.
Let's face it,
fake animal instincts aren't gonna lead us to Kissy.
We're gonna need real animals to root him out.
Okay, animals, listen up!
We're gonna let you in the house
and you are gonna track down this little rascal.
Okay, Patrick.
Let's let 'em loose!
Gosh, I hope they don't trash Granny Tentacles' house.
Nah. They're probably just gonna sniff around for a bit.
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have toenails to clip.
Kissy!
We found you, Kissy!
And thankfully, nobody got hurt!
There! I think Granny Tentacles is gonna be very happy!
Totally.
Hey. What's all that black smoke
coming from the kitchen?
Oh, no! I forgot to take my casserole
out of the oven!
Huh? It's raining in the house?
Oh, no! The room where I liberated that toilet!
I really should do spa days more often!
I feel a century younger!
♪ dramatic music playing
I never should have listened
to that manipulative toilet!
♪ music intensifies
What the--?
My house!
What happened to my house?!
♪ dramatic music plays
I know things look pretty bad,
but don't worry.
We saved your most important possession.
Your beloved pet, Kissy.
That's not my pet, you half-wit!
That's a vermin I trapped!
Oh.
I probably shouldn't have opened the cage then, huh?
♪ tense musical sting
Karen, this is not a drill!
Get the doors open.
I'm coming in hot!
Hello!
Oh. It sure is dark in my smelly button.
Oh, that's better!
Move it, ya big pile of stupid!
I'm on a timeline!
Huh?
Food that delivers itself?
We do live in the future.
Well?! Don't just stand there!
Huh. Guess they don't have all the kinks worked out.
Hello? Hello?
Ah, no, you don't!
Thiever's keepers!
Try that again and I'll turn you into--
Ow!
Into--
Into a--
...into a vegetable!
Vegetable?
Ahh! A pickle!
Ooh, a stain!
I'm off to the store!
Hey, Patrick!
Look what I can do!
Hey, son!
Have you seen my clog dancing?
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ha!
Actually, a tenderized pickle
sounds pretty good right about now.
Bon appetit-- Huh? Where'd it go?
♪ tense musical sting
What...?
Who are you people?
Why, we're the Dartfish family!
When someone's in trouble, we'll be there...
...on the double!
And what is your name?
Who? What?
I don't know.
I-I think my name is...
Pickle?
Daddy, can we eat the pickle?
Ha! Oh, son, we can't eat Pickle.
He's part of the family now.
Isn't that right, Pickle?
Pickle!
Hm. Plankton should've been here by now.
♪ bright music playing
Oh!
Huh?
Yay!
Welcome to the family, Pickle.
Aww!
♪ suspenseful music playing
Hey! I found him!
Can I have a reward?
Plankton?
Where did you find him?
In my nose!
♪ intense musical sting ♪
That's a booger.
What's the difference?
- ♪ classical music plays ♪ - Dinner's ready!
Who's hungry?!
Ooh!
Yay!
Is that all the food I get to eat?
No!
Phew.
That's all the food
we get to eat!
Here's your meager portion.
Mmm! What's for dessert?
That was our dessert!
And our meal for the entire week!
And where do you get your food?
From the Stars, of course!
The Stars provide!
The stars, huh?
No, no.
Not those stars.
Let me show you.
♪ sparkling music plays
Ooh, Mama!
Sorry, Pickle, that food isn't for us!
Then, who is it for?
Sooey!
Dig in!
Hooray! The Stars provide!
What a bountiful harvest!
Let's skedaddle home and dig in!
Wait a second!
You mean, those big oafs
get all the good food
while us little guys have to subsist on crumbs?
It isn't fair!
Don't we deserve a taste of the good stuff too?
But we love crumbs!
Besides, how else could we possibly get food?
Hmm.
Oh!
Leave it to me.
Pow-wow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...
Ow, ow, ow...
Oh...
Let's dig in!
Thanks, Pickle, but...
...we can't.
Why not?
Are you allergic to turkey?
We have a little rhyme about it.
"We can only taste
what the Stars drop in haste."
I don't get it.
If you steal the Stars' food,
you are being quite rude.
Huh?
Hmm.
You don't wanna let all that turkey
go to waste, do you?
That would be a sin!
You're right.
Now, how do I put this?
Ah!
"Don't be jerky,
eat the stinkin' turkey."
It rhymed, so maybe it's true.
It did rhyme!
He has a point!
A little turkey couldn't hurt, right?
Wow, Pickle, that was delicious!
Glad ya liked it, kid!
I've never felt so nourished!
Yeah!
I couldn't eat another bite!
Unless that bite was dessert!
Ah!
Yeah!
Yum! Huh?
Ah!
♪ playful music
Ha!
Aw.
Say, Pickle, how do you know how to do all these things?
Instinct, I guess.
Something about it just feels...
...so wrong.
I mean, right!
Pickle, sweetie,
don't you think we have enough food now?
No!
It's never enough! Never!
Never!
Have you seen my husb-- Ahh!
What's going on here?
Hello?
So hungry...
Plankton?
There you are!
Huh?
Alright, Plankton, what's going on?
Who's Plankton?
My name is Pickle!
It's time to go home, Pickle.
Back off!
Listen, lady, I don't know you,
but I know my family!
Hello! Are you a friend of Pickle's?
They took me in after my head injury.
Head injury?
And nursed me back to health
when I had nothing.
Aha!
I could never leave them!
Alright, I'm leaving.
Wait!
Uncle Pickle, don't go!
Pickle?
The name's Plankton.
The Plankton?
But he's bad!
Does that mean like we're bad too?
Maybe, but he's still Uncle Pickle to me!
♪ dramatic music plays
Listen, kid, you don't have to be bad
to know you're worth more than crumbs.
Bye-bye, losers!
If you wore the helmet I got you,
this wouldn't keep happening!
Sorry again for stealing all your food
for months on end.
It'll never happen again!
Yow!