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♪ I was born in Kansas ♪
2
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♪ I was bred in Kansas ♪
3
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♪ And when I get married ♪
4
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♪ I'll be wed in Kansas ♪
5
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♪ There's a true blue gal ♪
6
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♪ Who promised she would wait ♪
7
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♪ She's a sun, sunflower ♪
8
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♪ From the sunflower state ♪
9
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♪ She's a sunflower ♪
10
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♪ She's my sunflower ♪
11
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♪ And I know we'll never part ♪
12
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♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
13
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- So many hotties out today.
- Joel: Yeah.
14
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- You see that guy?
- Yeah, I see him.
15
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- Slim-fit, high-waisted jean?
- Uh-huh, it certainly is.
16
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- And a sensible sneaker.
- Oh, yes, ma'am.
17
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Usually not my thing,
but I'll pound it.
18
00:00:49,363 --> 00:00:50,929
Oh, I'm gonna pound it, too.
19
00:00:50,998 --> 00:00:53,331
What about this?
20
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Leather jacket on
an unseasonably warm day?
21
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Oh, he was big in the '80s.
22
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But at least we know he doesn't
mind getting sweaty, right?
23
00:01:00,507 --> 00:01:02,173
- Exactly!
- I kinda like that.
24
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- Yeah, pound it!
- Pound it!
25
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I want somebody to be
just as sweaty as I am.
26
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I wanna know they're
putting in the fuckin' work.
27
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Oh, 10,000. Done!
28
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Oh God,
29
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how can we get our steps
every single day,
30
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and yet my pants
are still tight?
31
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I don't know.
Maybe you oughta get on that elastic band life.
32
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Then you never really
know what's goin' on. -
33
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- Seriously?
- You seeing this?
34
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I mean, that,
that's disgusting.
35
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I bet he wakes up
every morning
36
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and gives her
a sweet little kiss
37
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right on the tip
of her clitoris. -
38
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- Gross. Sam!
- What?
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Ah...
40
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- Hey, Trish.
- Tricia: Hey, you gotta meet me.
41
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- I have Dad's list.
- Like, right now?
42
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I'm kinda
in the middle of someth--
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Tricia:
Meet me in an hour
44
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and please do not
keep me waiting 'cause
45
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- I have like 600,000--
- I'll be there!
46
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- Fuckin' Tricia.
- Mm.
47
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You know what
she would never do? - What?
48
00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:55,861
She'd never play
"pound it or pass." - Her loss.
49
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Seriously.
Like, look at that guy.
50
00:01:58,931 --> 00:02:01,366
Well you know
he loves poetry. - Joel: Yeah.
51
00:02:01,435 --> 00:02:04,669
Really, really, really
enjoys infomercials.
52
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Oh, can't wait to
tell you about his day. - Yeah.
53
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Hates Cher.
54
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- No, he doe-- Who hates Cher?
- I mean, this guy.
55
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- Oh, well, then pass.
- Pass?!
56
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Sam:
I'm not pounding that.
57
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Oh, you coulda
had it so good.
58
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Where is Roger?
He's late today.
59
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There he is.
60
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Oh.
61
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Okay.
62
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I'm glad he's okay.
63
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You did the right thing.
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- Wanna do another lap?
- Why would we do that?
65
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- It'll be fun.
- No, it won't.
66
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Okay, we can just
go back to the car. - Okay, you ready?
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00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:51,616
Well, first, can I just
tell you something?
68
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- No. Joel...
- Well, since we don't have time to do another lap,
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- I have time to say this.
- No, no, please. Joel.
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Don't do it. Don't ruin
this moment, please.
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I really love you.
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Joel. Joel!
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Sam: Come on.
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I'm doing another lap!
You got me!
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- Joel: I love you.
- Sam: You know I don't have the infrastructure
76
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to go this fast!
Stop talking! - I love you!
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Tricia:
I mean, I don't know why he sent this to me.
78
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You're the one
who told him to go.
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Sam:
Well, you're the responsible one.
80
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Tricia: Didn't you teach him
how to use a cell phone? - Sam: I did,
81
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but I-I don't know.
I guess it didn't work. - Tricia: Guess not.
82
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Alright, well,
this is all good.
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Uh, "Made it to the airport
in plenty of time.
84
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Had an aisle seat."
That's fascinating.
85
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"Made friends with
the stewardess." - Of course.
86
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Um...
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00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:44,336
"Wish you girls
could see the boat.
88
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"Uncle Frank really
restored it good.
89
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"Grilling up steaks tonight.
90
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Setting sail
tomorrow morning."
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Okay, here's our to-do list.
92
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- It's extensive.
- Fuck.
93
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"Number one, visit
your mother every day."
94
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Let's start
that one tomorrow.
95
00:04:01,654 --> 00:04:05,557
"Put in storm windows, vacuum,
feed chickens, mow lawn,
96
00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:08,593
check sump pump,
clean out barn."
97
00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:11,697
I-I can't-- I cannot deal
with this right now!
98
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I just can't!
I mean, I gotta go.
99
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,700
I gotta go to work,
gotta pack Shannon up. I mean--
100
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- Okay, alright.
- This was your idea anyway! I hate farming.
101
00:04:18,071 --> 00:04:21,304
We're not farming, Tricia!
We're unfarming! -
102
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And...
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Come on. Aren't you glad
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00:04:24,478 --> 00:04:26,081
he's finally doing
something for himself?
105
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Well... the timing sucks.
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Alright. I'm gonna
come by later to say goodbye to Shannon.
107
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- Tricia: Okay.
- I wanna give her some of my old KU shirts.
108
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- Okay.
- She didn't tell you I got her a fake ID, did she?
109
00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:42,227
I mean, I'm pretty sure
you're kidding, but...
110
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I'm kidding.
111
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But I did tell her
where to get one.
112
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You're not funny.
113
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I think it's funny.
114
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Of course, you were
talking to your neighbor.
115
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I gotta clear out the barn.
116
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Remind me, I need
to get trash bags. - Joel: Mm.
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Oh, fuck, you know what?
I already made a list.
118
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Why can't I remember
anything anymore?
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- Menopause?
- Perimenopause.
120
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- What's the difference?
- Fuck, nobody knows.
121
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It should be an easy flip.
It's just like an older couple.
122
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They're real sweet,
in town for the game.
123
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And I locked
up all of my crystal in the owner's closet.
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- Lesson learned.
- Good.
125
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I can't believe
I let you cut my hair.
126
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Oh, but it's so...
kitty.
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- It is kitty, right? Kitty.
- So kitty. I'd pound that.
128
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- Hey.
- Here's your hazelnut and soy milk latte for your husband.
129
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Oh, here you go, honey.
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Kisses.
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We better get you home.
I know the caffeine gets you horny.
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Oh yeah.
133
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♪ I'm just soaking wet ♪
134
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♪ Oh, I'm so wet, oh ♪
135
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♪ So fucking wet, ow-ow,
watch out! ♪
136
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- Should we do our stretches?
- Yeah.
137
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One, two, three.
138
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Ugh, I really wish tonight
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wasn't a designated
non-drinking night.
140
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What are you talking about?
We just had two DNDNs in a row.
141
00:06:22,796 --> 00:06:24,362
- We did?
- Yeah! It's definitely time for a DN,
142
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unless you cheated.
143
00:06:25,465 --> 00:06:27,631
Joel, I would never!
144
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Okay, then.
Let's go out, you know?
145
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Go downtown, take
your mind off things.
146
00:06:33,072 --> 00:06:36,141
My friend Carla, from yoga,
she said that-- - Oh, my God, Joel!
147
00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:39,042
You know I hate when you
talk about your yoga friends.
148
00:06:39,111 --> 00:06:42,413
I know, but she's
different. She's-- - Oh, stop! NNP, Joel.
149
00:06:42,482 --> 00:06:43,947
- What's NNP?
- No new people!
150
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Especially somebody that can
touch their nose to their twat.
151
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It's not natural.
152
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But she's different.
She's pregnant. - Oh, strike two.
153
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I will never give her a chance.
154
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- Joel: They left it unlocked.
- Sam: Oh, that's good.
155
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- Yo! Oh! Sam! Oh, my God!
- Ah! What the fuck is this?
156
00:07:01,468 --> 00:07:04,035
Joel:
There is a clear no-pet policy.
157
00:07:04,104 --> 00:07:06,605
Sam: Oof. Can't believe
you stepped in it. - Joel: I know.
158
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The smell is
living in my nose.
159
00:07:08,508 --> 00:07:10,642
I don't know if I can
come back from this.
160
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:12,610
Oh, Joel, we're burning
those shoes tonight.
161
00:07:12,679 --> 00:07:14,580
These are
my good step shoes!
162
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Not anymore.
163
00:07:18,886 --> 00:07:20,384
What about this?
164
00:07:20,453 --> 00:07:23,054
You think pa-pah counts
as organic matter?
165
00:07:23,123 --> 00:07:24,722
Oh yeah.
166
00:07:24,791 --> 00:07:27,726
Hey, Steve!
Does this stuff work on dog shit?
167
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,395
- You got a mess?
- Joel: Steve,
168
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:31,262
it's really bad.
169
00:07:31,331 --> 00:07:33,499
It's really bad.
170
00:07:33,568 --> 00:07:36,501
Yeah, that should do it.
171
00:07:36,570 --> 00:07:38,570
- Let's load it up.
- Alright.
172
00:07:38,639 --> 00:07:40,305
I'm getting at least two.
173
00:07:40,374 --> 00:07:42,407
- One more.
- Okay.
174
00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:44,076
Do you think they
have snacks here?
175
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Oh, they do, actually.
I do know that for a fact. - Oh.
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Fuck.
177
00:08:15,009 --> 00:08:17,012
Oh, my God...
178
00:08:18,211 --> 00:08:19,647
Holy shit.
179
00:08:27,888 --> 00:08:30,158
I ain't got
nowhere to put it.
180
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Ah, fuck.
181
00:09:21,576 --> 00:09:24,012
Oh.
182
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:49,137
Alright. Well...
183
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:51,839
think this is it.
184
00:09:54,108 --> 00:09:57,408
- Oh boy. Yeah?
- Okay, one thing.
185
00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:00,077
I hate the sign.
I don't really want that shit in my dorm room.
186
00:10:00,146 --> 00:10:02,942
Oh, excuse me.
That is the shit that paid for your dorm room,
187
00:10:03,011 --> 00:10:04,483
so it stays.
188
00:10:04,552 --> 00:10:06,088
Okay, fine.
189
00:10:07,654 --> 00:10:09,415
You know, it just
seems like yesterday
190
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:12,023
we were dropping
you off at kindergarten.
191
00:10:12,092 --> 00:10:13,592
Mom...
192
00:10:13,661 --> 00:10:15,360
Shan, I'm just
so proud of you.
193
00:10:15,429 --> 00:10:17,028
You're just the best kid.
194
00:10:17,097 --> 00:10:19,097
Oh, you look gorgeous
for your first day!
195
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,631
I can't stand it.
196
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,368
Okay, let me just get
one more picture, okay?
197
00:10:23,437 --> 00:10:24,872
You pose right here.
198
00:10:27,074 --> 00:10:30,312
One second.
Let me get this thing open.
199
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,446
- Alright, ready?
- Okay.
200
00:10:34,515 --> 00:10:35,814
Smile!
201
00:10:35,883 --> 00:10:38,353
- So cute.
- Hey, send it to Dad.
202
00:10:39,286 --> 00:10:41,486
Okay, yeah.
203
00:10:41,555 --> 00:10:43,687
- Actually, no, you could just--
- Oh, no, no, it's fine.
204
00:10:43,756 --> 00:10:45,991
- I'll send it to him.
- No, send it to me. I can send it to him.
205
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:48,627
Nope. Already sent.
206
00:10:48,696 --> 00:10:50,428
Easy.
207
00:10:50,497 --> 00:10:52,831
- Not a big deal.
- Okay.
208
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:54,666
Alright.
Let me get it together.
209
00:10:54,735 --> 00:10:56,735
Should we go?
You ready?
210
00:10:56,804 --> 00:10:58,603
Yeah, I guess.
211
00:10:58,672 --> 00:11:00,438
- I'm not ready, but.
- Yeah.
212
00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:02,341
- Should we get a coffee first?
- We'll get coffee.
213
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:05,113
Okay.
214
00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:33,071
- Joel: Hey!
- Hey.
215
00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:35,473
Joel:
Well, I think I finally got the shit smell out.
216
00:11:35,542 --> 00:11:38,409
You can maybe smell it,
but you have to really, really try.
217
00:11:38,478 --> 00:11:41,440
How's it going up there?
You ready for the renters?
218
00:11:41,509 --> 00:11:43,746
Yeah, I'm getting there.
219
00:11:46,654 --> 00:11:48,290
Joel:
You okay?
220
00:11:49,357 --> 00:11:50,993
No.
221
00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:55,964
Just, um...
222
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:59,163
feels really weird
to be here
223
00:11:59,232 --> 00:12:01,469
with all of his stuff,
you know?
224
00:12:03,771 --> 00:12:06,070
I...
225
00:12:06,139 --> 00:12:09,502
I mean, I wanted him to go,
and I pushed him to go, and I'm...
226
00:12:09,571 --> 00:12:11,075
and I'm glad he went
because I know
227
00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:12,677
that he couldn't have
cleaned out this barn.
228
00:12:12,746 --> 00:12:14,382
It would've broken his heart.
229
00:12:17,518 --> 00:12:19,487
But, I didn't...
230
00:12:21,388 --> 00:12:24,459
I didn't know it'd
break mine, and, um...
231
00:12:28,362 --> 00:12:30,793
Just sitting here,
Joel, and he...
232
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,303
he's everywhere.
233
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:41,707
Every inch
of this place is...
234
00:12:41,776 --> 00:12:43,845
him, you know?
235
00:12:47,314 --> 00:12:49,952
He loved this place.
236
00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:52,887
And now, I'm just...
237
00:12:54,188 --> 00:12:57,456
I just feel like
I'm packing up his whole life,
238
00:12:57,525 --> 00:12:59,094
and, um...
239
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:04,866
God...
240
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:08,934
Yeah, it just-- just sucks.
241
00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:11,073
Joel:
Do you want me to come out there?
242
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,578
No, just, um...
243
00:13:18,746 --> 00:13:20,983
just sit with me for a minute.
244
00:13:23,718 --> 00:13:25,353
Joel:
Okay.
245
00:13:45,006 --> 00:13:47,473
Maybe I'm just
a little tired.
246
00:13:49,477 --> 00:13:51,376
I don't know.
247
00:13:51,445 --> 00:13:55,146
You know, facing
all this family shit without a cocktail.
248
00:13:55,215 --> 00:13:58,451
Joel:
I can be out there with a shaker in 15 minutes.
249
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,385
No, no, no.
250
00:14:00,454 --> 00:14:03,091
No. No.
251
00:14:04,492 --> 00:14:06,228
Thank you.
252
00:14:10,563 --> 00:14:13,401
Joel:
You're doing good by him. You really are.
253
00:14:14,262 --> 00:14:15,503
Thank you.
254
00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:42,030
Oh, my fucking... God!
255
00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:36,518
Hi.
256
00:15:38,653 --> 00:15:40,885
Um, Mary Jo Miller?
257
00:15:40,954 --> 00:15:42,988
Oh, I'm sure you've got stories.
258
00:15:43,057 --> 00:15:44,723
Yeah. Is she in her room?
259
00:15:44,792 --> 00:15:47,029
- Yeah. You'll hear her.
- Thanks.
260
00:16:11,619 --> 00:16:13,518
Oh! Didn't see you there.
261
00:16:13,587 --> 00:16:16,154
MJ, you have a visitor.
262
00:16:16,223 --> 00:16:19,591
Hey, Mom! I was worried
I was gonna miss you.
263
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:20,891
What are you doing here?
264
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,628
Well, I wanted to visit you,
and Dad wanted to make sure
265
00:16:23,697 --> 00:16:25,096
that you have plenty
of clean underwear,
266
00:16:25,165 --> 00:16:26,197
so there's some in the drawer,
267
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:27,432
and I put a little up here,
too, okay?
268
00:16:27,501 --> 00:16:29,433
That shithead
burnt my house down.
269
00:16:29,502 --> 00:16:31,302
No, Mom.
No, he didn't.
270
00:16:31,371 --> 00:16:35,339
- Yes, he did.
- No, he didn't.
271
00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:38,076
Have... Have you been smoking?
272
00:16:38,145 --> 00:16:40,106
Has she been smoking?
273
00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:42,514
- Nothing we can do about it.
- What are you doing, Mom?
274
00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:45,050
You don't smoke.
What's that about?
275
00:16:47,021 --> 00:16:49,354
Okay.
276
00:16:49,423 --> 00:16:51,690
Is there anything else
I can bring for you tomorrow?
277
00:16:51,759 --> 00:16:53,991
- No.
- Okay.
278
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:57,362
Well, I'll see you
tomorrow, and just... -
279
00:16:57,431 --> 00:16:59,632
You know, thank you.
I guess.
280
00:17:01,201 --> 00:17:02,867
Hey, college mama.
How'd it go?
281
00:17:02,936 --> 00:17:05,037
Tricia:
Yeah, so do you and your buffer
282
00:17:05,106 --> 00:17:06,337
want to come over
for dinner?
283
00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:07,873
I made this--
way too much food.
284
00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:09,473
Casseroles.
I don't know. I'm just--
285
00:17:09,542 --> 00:17:12,110
- I'm not used to
cooking for one. - Yeah, I'll check with him.
286
00:17:12,179 --> 00:17:14,412
By the way, you owe me.
I just saw Mom.
287
00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:16,581
Jesus Christ.
288
00:17:16,650 --> 00:17:18,917
We are leaving as soon
as we finish eating.
289
00:17:18,986 --> 00:17:21,086
Copy that.
What's our safe word?
290
00:17:21,155 --> 00:17:22,787
- Tricia!
- Hello!
291
00:17:22,856 --> 00:17:25,257
- Hey.
- Tricia: Come on in.
292
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:27,558
- "Juicy."
- Joel: "Juicy."
293
00:17:27,627 --> 00:17:31,129
This is fun.
Thank you for having us.
294
00:17:31,198 --> 00:17:35,467
Oh no! I'm so glad
you came. And Joel...
295
00:17:35,536 --> 00:17:38,602
I mean, have to give you
a little compliment.
296
00:17:38,671 --> 00:17:42,007
You almost make
Sam fun. Almost. -
297
00:17:42,076 --> 00:17:43,474
- Thanks.
- Thanks...
298
00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:45,643
So, of course, I've been
wondering and thinking
299
00:17:45,712 --> 00:17:47,212
about what this day
was gonna be like,
300
00:17:47,281 --> 00:17:49,915
and it was nothing
like I thought it would be.
301
00:17:49,984 --> 00:17:51,749
He wasn't even there.
302
00:17:51,818 --> 00:17:55,486
Well, I know there are
mixed emotions, but, you know,
303
00:17:55,555 --> 00:17:57,221
you should feel
proud of yourself.
304
00:17:57,290 --> 00:17:58,757
You raised a really
wonderful young woman.
305
00:17:58,826 --> 00:18:00,591
Thank you.
306
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,696
You know, I've never really
been alone, like, not ever.
307
00:18:03,765 --> 00:18:05,263
I mean, this is it for me.
308
00:18:05,332 --> 00:18:07,198
I mean, you get
divorced at my age,
309
00:18:07,267 --> 00:18:09,128
that is the end. Done.
310
00:18:09,197 --> 00:18:10,735
I'll be alone forever,
and, you know, that's fine.
311
00:18:10,804 --> 00:18:13,405
It's not a big deal.
But, Sam, you've always been alone.
312
00:18:13,474 --> 00:18:16,474
I mean, you're good at it
or used to it or whatever.
313
00:18:16,543 --> 00:18:18,410
It's fine for you,
and that's fine.
314
00:18:18,479 --> 00:18:20,945
I just never thought that
I would end up like this.
315
00:18:21,014 --> 00:18:22,613
Just never saw it.
316
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:26,050
Thought I'd be more like
Mom and Dad, like married forever.
317
00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:27,918
- Really?
- Tricia: Mm-hmm!
318
00:18:27,987 --> 00:18:30,388
- Heck yeah.
- Get treated like shit and fuckin'
319
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:32,694
taken for granted like Dad?
320
00:18:33,661 --> 00:18:35,297
Mm, just...
321
00:18:36,530 --> 00:18:38,700
I don't wanna be
a divorced person.
322
00:18:39,499 --> 00:18:41,799
I don't... I'm not a div--
323
00:18:41,868 --> 00:18:44,670
I'm not the kind of person
who gets divorced.
324
00:18:44,739 --> 00:18:45,807
I don't...
325
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:48,040
Well, you don't have to be.
326
00:18:48,109 --> 00:18:51,143
You could get back
together with Rick.
327
00:18:51,212 --> 00:18:52,914
Joel, he cheated.
328
00:18:53,714 --> 00:18:55,350
Or not. Or not.
329
00:18:56,149 --> 00:18:57,816
Tricia:
Well...
330
00:18:57,885 --> 00:18:59,517
Maybe I cheated, too.
331
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:00,752
No, you didn't!
332
00:19:00,821 --> 00:19:02,220
You did?
333
00:19:02,289 --> 00:19:05,123
Well, I guess not technically,
334
00:19:05,192 --> 00:19:07,325
but, I mean, I did try.
335
00:19:07,394 --> 00:19:10,863
What are you talking about?
336
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:13,064
Uh-hm.
337
00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:15,895
- I think I need more details.
- I'd like a few more myself.
338
00:19:15,964 --> 00:19:17,770
- Joel: I wanna know.
- With Coop.
339
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:19,671
No!
340
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:21,106
Yes!
341
00:19:21,175 --> 00:19:23,208
Well, she fucked my husband,
342
00:19:23,277 --> 00:19:26,044
- so I tried to fuck hers.
- Sam: Tricia!
343
00:19:26,113 --> 00:19:28,446
- Tricia: Hm?
- Now who's fun?
344
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:30,582
I was so mad.
He turned me down, so... - Sam: Wha...
345
00:19:30,651 --> 00:19:33,017
Okay, th-then it
doesn't really count. - Tricia: Coop.
346
00:19:33,086 --> 00:19:34,485
Okay? Coop.
347
00:19:34,554 --> 00:19:37,789
Coop said no to this,
this whole situation.
348
00:19:37,858 --> 00:19:40,458
He was like, "No thanks."
I'm like, "What the fuck?
349
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:43,028
Wh-who are you again?"
350
00:19:43,097 --> 00:19:45,696
Do you know what
a pencil test is, Joel?
351
00:19:45,765 --> 00:19:47,933
- Oh, here we go.
- Tricia: Okay. Pencil test.
352
00:19:48,002 --> 00:19:49,601
Do you wanna say it
or you want me to say it?
353
00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:51,503
- I guess you?
- Okay, I'll say it.
354
00:19:51,572 --> 00:19:53,505
- Joel: You can say it.
- Pencil test is if it stays--
355
00:19:53,574 --> 00:19:55,573
You put it under here,
and if it stays...
356
00:19:55,642 --> 00:19:57,075
Anyway, it's good if it falls.
357
00:19:57,144 --> 00:20:00,745
- Oh! Well, it did!
- Tricia: That was loud. Sorry!
358
00:20:00,814 --> 00:20:03,948
So, I pass the pencil test
even still.
359
00:20:04,017 --> 00:20:05,884
Even at my age.
Do you see it?
360
00:20:05,953 --> 00:20:07,552
What do you think?
361
00:20:07,621 --> 00:20:09,253
Joel, just tell her
she has great tits.
362
00:20:09,322 --> 00:20:10,758
Say it. You're not
even looking at 'em.
363
00:20:12,459 --> 00:20:14,658
You have great tits.
364
00:20:14,727 --> 00:20:17,295
- Why would you make me say that?
- 'Cause I wanted to hear it.
365
00:20:17,364 --> 00:20:18,897
Joel: Oh, my God.
366
00:20:18,966 --> 00:20:20,564
That did not sound good
coming outta my mouth.
367
00:20:20,633 --> 00:20:22,267
It was a little bit weird,
but I feel much better.
368
00:20:22,336 --> 00:20:23,634
Who wants more wine?
369
00:20:23,703 --> 00:20:25,870
I would like to know how
you feel about my tits, Joel.
370
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:28,506
- You know how--
- Just look at 'em.
371
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,842
You know how
a mother can't love...
372
00:20:30,911 --> 00:20:33,844
more-- her children
more than the other? - Whose do you like better?
373
00:20:33,913 --> 00:20:35,746
- If you had to pick?
- You know, it's equal love.
374
00:20:35,815 --> 00:20:37,548
- It's equal love.
- Do you like the pencil test pass,
375
00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:40,753
- or would you rather--
- Or what about the salad--
376
00:20:42,823 --> 00:20:46,224
If I don't win now,
you fucker.
377
00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:49,998
Is that what I think it is?
378
00:20:51,998 --> 00:20:54,132
♪ I love a teenie-tini,
would you like a teenie-tini? ♪
379
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,633
♪ I'd like a teenie-tini, too ♪
380
00:20:55,702 --> 00:20:57,897
♪ That's one teenie-tini,
and another teenie-tini ♪
381
00:20:57,966 --> 00:21:01,009
Joel: Ooh!
382
00:21:03,744 --> 00:21:06,411
I guess it'll be
a teenier-tini.
383
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,914
That's okay. I'll take
whatever you got. -
384
00:21:08,983 --> 00:21:12,116
Oh, we've earned it
after that dinner. Oh, my God.
385
00:21:14,555 --> 00:21:16,554
Okay. Okay. Oh.
386
00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:19,223
I guess one shouldn't
mix drinks
387
00:21:19,292 --> 00:21:21,592
when under the influence.
388
00:21:21,661 --> 00:21:24,799
Cheers. Thank you
for this. Cheers. - Cheers!
389
00:21:25,566 --> 00:21:26,564
Mm!
390
00:21:26,633 --> 00:21:29,701
Oh God. Tricia's a lot.
391
00:21:31,272 --> 00:21:33,805
Mm! Oh, my God,
how is your mom?
392
00:21:33,874 --> 00:21:37,241
Oh, she was wonderful.
Thank you so much for asking. - Aww.
393
00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,644
Was it just a real shit show?
394
00:21:39,713 --> 00:21:42,012
It was a shit show.
Do you know what she's doing now?
395
00:21:42,081 --> 00:21:44,950
- Hm?
- She is bumming cigarettes off of her fellow residents.
396
00:21:45,019 --> 00:21:46,518
Well, sure.
397
00:21:46,587 --> 00:21:48,552
She's a stroke victim.
Why wouldn't she? - Yes!
398
00:21:48,621 --> 00:21:50,421
I think she would
like another stroke.
399
00:21:50,490 --> 00:21:52,590
Oh no. Sorry.
400
00:21:52,659 --> 00:21:53,758
But you can't tell her
what to do!
401
00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:55,493
She just does whatever
the fuck she wants.
402
00:21:55,562 --> 00:21:57,329
I wouldn't even go visit her
if it weren't for my dad,
403
00:21:57,398 --> 00:21:59,031
but, you know, fuck.
404
00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:01,233
Ugh. You know what?
405
00:22:01,302 --> 00:22:03,602
- Hm?
- I think what you need is 30 CCs
406
00:22:03,671 --> 00:22:05,503
of Joel on your next visit.
407
00:22:05,572 --> 00:22:08,573
I am a very charming companion!
408
00:22:08,642 --> 00:22:11,276
Joel, I will not stand by
while my mother's a cunt to you.
409
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,980
I'm sorry, but she cunt
help herself.
410
00:22:19,086 --> 00:22:20,218
I like gettin' lit.
411
00:22:23,423 --> 00:22:26,191
Cheers! Oh, my God.
412
00:22:26,260 --> 00:22:27,626
- Fred: Here he is!
- Oh, my God!
413
00:22:27,695 --> 00:22:29,327
- Sam: Jesus Christ!
- Hi, kids!
414
00:22:29,396 --> 00:22:31,463
I've missed you. How are you?
415
00:22:31,532 --> 00:22:33,732
- What are you doing here?
- Her pops called me.
416
00:22:33,801 --> 00:22:35,600
- What, he did?
- Fred: Yeah, he did.
417
00:22:35,669 --> 00:22:37,268
But you know what?
He just wanted to make sure
418
00:22:37,337 --> 00:22:39,204
that you're doing okay
and everything's okay at the farm.
419
00:22:39,273 --> 00:22:41,106
- Okay.
- Fred: And you know what? I gotta tell you, kids.
420
00:22:41,175 --> 00:22:43,474
I was getting a little cold
and bored up there in--
421
00:22:43,543 --> 00:22:45,977
thank you--
in Wisconsin, you know?
422
00:22:46,046 --> 00:22:47,846
- So, it was time to come home.
- Well, welcome back.
423
00:22:47,915 --> 00:22:49,615
- Thank you.
- Sam: Welcome back.
424
00:22:49,684 --> 00:22:52,211
Jesus, Sammy!
Oh my God,
425
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,619
is this what it's come down to?
426
00:22:54,688 --> 00:22:55,954
It's a little
fluffy under there.
427
00:22:56,023 --> 00:22:57,855
It's like an Ewok's
on your lap. You see that?
428
00:22:57,924 --> 00:23:00,391
- You see that?
- Yeah, well, I'm a child of the '70s,
429
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,660
and my bush should be
a reflection of that.
430
00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:04,129
Oh, how I missed you two.
431
00:23:04,198 --> 00:23:06,231
- Is it that bad?
- It's kinda bad.
432
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:09,233
I'm so glad I finally get
to see the honeymoon suite.
433
00:23:09,302 --> 00:23:11,168
It's solely
a financial arrangement.
434
00:23:11,237 --> 00:23:14,300
A little marriage of
convenience. I get a cut. -
435
00:23:14,369 --> 00:23:17,075
So, I don't understand.
My dad will call you,
436
00:23:17,144 --> 00:23:18,210
but not his own daughters?
437
00:23:18,279 --> 00:23:19,444
Well, he doesn't
want you to think
438
00:23:19,513 --> 00:23:21,379
he's being overbearing
or micromanaging.
439
00:23:21,448 --> 00:23:23,009
Okay, so he sent you?
440
00:23:23,078 --> 00:23:25,116
Yeah. I'm the full package.
441
00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:28,953
Can you do that?
Can you just leave a sabbatical?
442
00:23:29,022 --> 00:23:31,723
It's, like, a really big deal
for you and your career, right?
443
00:23:31,792 --> 00:23:33,959
Look, kids,
nine months was enough,
444
00:23:34,028 --> 00:23:36,027
and I can finish
my research here.
445
00:23:36,096 --> 00:23:39,365
Well... Thank you, Fred.
446
00:23:39,434 --> 00:23:41,027
Hey, come on.
447
00:23:41,096 --> 00:23:42,934
- Anything for Ed.
- Yeah.
448
00:23:43,003 --> 00:23:45,137
But I guess we're fucked
for choir practice now.
449
00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:46,938
- No! No.
- Fred: I know.
450
00:23:47,007 --> 00:23:48,810
- We'll figure it out.
- We'll figure it out.
451
00:23:49,477 --> 00:23:51,409
And, um...
452
00:23:51,478 --> 00:23:54,178
uh, your dad did tell me
that MJ had a stroke.
453
00:23:54,247 --> 00:23:56,314
- Yeah.
- Fred: Sorry.
454
00:23:56,383 --> 00:23:58,916
Yeah, well,
it's harder on my dad.
455
00:23:58,985 --> 00:24:00,819
Then he was just pushing
himself to do all this stuff
456
00:24:00,888 --> 00:24:02,988
that he can't really do anymore.
457
00:24:03,057 --> 00:24:05,657
Well, you know,
he is a farmer. - Yeah.
458
00:24:05,726 --> 00:24:07,492
Plus renting out the land
and then the barn,
459
00:24:07,561 --> 00:24:08,893
it was just all too much.
460
00:24:08,962 --> 00:24:11,229
So, I was like,
"Dad, now's the time. Y-you have to go.
461
00:24:11,298 --> 00:24:13,198
You've never done
anything for yourself." - Joel: Mm.
462
00:24:13,267 --> 00:24:16,667
So, now he's on a boat with
his brother in Corpus Christi,
463
00:24:16,736 --> 00:24:18,269
probably drinking
a beer right now. -
464
00:24:18,338 --> 00:24:20,671
He is gonna have the best time.
We all know it. - The best time.
465
00:24:20,740 --> 00:24:22,673
You know he's raging
out there right now. -
466
00:24:22,742 --> 00:24:26,579
Oh, kids.
I-I know this is a lot, but we got this.
467
00:24:26,648 --> 00:24:28,113
- We got this.
- We got this.
468
00:24:28,182 --> 00:24:29,217
Fred:
And...
469
00:24:30,450 --> 00:24:33,018
I also brought back...
470
00:24:33,087 --> 00:24:35,188
cheese curds! Look at this.
471
00:24:36,718 --> 00:24:39,024
Put one in the freezer for Ed.
I know how he loves his cheese.
472
00:24:39,093 --> 00:24:40,425
He loves cheese.
473
00:24:40,494 --> 00:24:42,594
- One for you, buddy.
- Oh goodness! Thank you.
474
00:24:42,663 --> 00:24:44,390
Sam:
Well, I guess if we're partying,
475
00:24:44,459 --> 00:24:46,330
then maybe you're probably
wondering, like,
476
00:24:46,399 --> 00:24:48,533
what we've been up to
this whole time. - Alright. What do you got?
477
00:24:48,602 --> 00:24:49,802
Well, we like to drink
our teenie-tinis,
478
00:24:49,871 --> 00:24:51,536
and then we like to
open up the dance floor.
479
00:24:51,605 --> 00:24:54,037
Joel: Oh, my God, this is
the song! This is the song! -
480
00:24:54,106 --> 00:24:56,807
Turning it up!
Okay, Sammy and Joel! - What are you doing?
481
00:24:56,876 --> 00:24:59,010
- You gotta get up on your feet.
- You want me to join?
482
00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:01,145
- Yeah, get the fuck up!
- Alright, shit!
483
00:25:01,214 --> 00:25:03,314
- ♪ When you decide
you like yourself ♪ - Holler at me!
484
00:25:03,383 --> 00:25:04,983
- Oh, okay!
- ♪ When you decide you need someone ♪
485
00:25:05,052 --> 00:25:06,717
- Holler at me!
- Holler at me! Feel the spirit!
486
00:25:06,786 --> 00:25:09,955
- Holler at me!
- Holler at me! Oh, my God, my pelvic floor just dropped!
487
00:25:11,786 --> 00:25:13,925
- All: Holler at me!
- Fred: Do I have to do it like this?
488
00:25:13,994 --> 00:25:16,094
All: Holler at me!
489
00:25:16,163 --> 00:25:18,896
- All: Holler at me!
- Sam: Oh! Shit, I can't breathe!
490
00:25:18,965 --> 00:25:21,800
- We did it! Okay.
- Joel: I need to stop. I need to stop!
491
00:25:47,494 --> 00:25:49,494
- Joel!
- Joel: Yeah?
492
00:25:49,563 --> 00:25:51,766
How many active
hours do you have?
493
00:25:53,567 --> 00:25:55,267
Ten.
494
00:25:55,336 --> 00:25:57,069
Sam:
Oh, that's good.
495
00:25:57,138 --> 00:25:59,371
Is... is 13 better?
496
00:26:02,543 --> 00:26:04,179
I guess it's technic--
497
00:26:05,012 --> 00:26:08,313
Oh, are you fucking kidding me?
498
00:26:08,382 --> 00:26:10,018
- What?
- Joel: No.
499
00:26:10,818 --> 00:26:12,716
They gave me two stars!
500
00:26:12,785 --> 00:26:15,920
They say I have
non-absorptive bath towels!
501
00:26:15,989 --> 00:26:17,722
Fuck them!
I picked out those towels!
502
00:26:17,791 --> 00:26:20,225
Your dog shit all over my house!
503
00:26:20,294 --> 00:26:22,127
Oh, these motherfuckers!
504
00:26:22,196 --> 00:26:24,496
Joel, we're gonna find 'em
and burn 'em alive.
505
00:26:24,565 --> 00:26:28,094
- I'm gonna write a letter!
- To who?
506
00:26:28,163 --> 00:26:30,302
I don't know.
507
00:26:31,939 --> 00:26:34,742
- Okay, you ready?
- Yeah.
508
00:26:35,509 --> 00:26:38,143
- Lights out.
- Alright.
509
00:26:39,714 --> 00:26:41,480
- Nighty-night.
- Nighty-night.
510
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:48,423
My beautiful,
perfect rating...
511
00:26:51,892 --> 00:26:54,092
- Night, Joel.
- Good night.
512
00:26:57,130 --> 00:26:58,431
Sweet dweams!
513
00:27:03,737 --> 00:27:05,336
♪ Hit me with your eyes ♪
514
00:27:05,405 --> 00:27:08,039
♪ I never seen
that kind of view ♪
515
00:27:08,108 --> 00:27:09,835
♪ You walkin' over here ♪
516
00:27:09,904 --> 00:27:12,610
♪ The way that it went down,
that's when I knew ♪
517
00:27:12,679 --> 00:27:14,245
♪ We be talkin' all night ♪
518
00:27:14,314 --> 00:27:18,016
♪ But I can tell you need
to work on you, you, you ♪
519
00:27:18,085 --> 00:27:20,352
♪ Like you, you, you ♪
520
00:27:20,421 --> 00:27:22,488
♪ Like you ♪
521
00:27:22,557 --> 00:27:24,226
♪ Like you ♪
522
00:27:24,825 --> 00:27:26,591
♪ Mm ♪
523
00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,059
♪ You be playin' sweet ♪
524
00:27:28,128 --> 00:27:31,224
♪ But, baby, don't you
know that talk is cheap ♪
525
00:27:31,293 --> 00:27:32,530
♪ Can't fool me ♪
526
00:27:32,599 --> 00:27:36,100
♪ I wish that you could
back it up for me, me, me ♪
527
00:27:36,169 --> 00:27:39,971
♪ Like me, me, me, like me ♪
528
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,368
♪ You know that I ♪
529
00:27:42,437 --> 00:27:44,576
♪ I heard it all before ♪
530
00:27:44,645 --> 00:27:46,812
♪ You're hesitant ♪
531
00:27:46,881 --> 00:27:49,047
♪ But you could give me more ♪
532
00:27:49,116 --> 00:27:51,483
♪ I know you like ♪
533
00:27:51,552 --> 00:27:53,918
♪ To play those silly games ♪
534
00:27:53,987 --> 00:27:57,355
♪ When you're done,
call my name ♪
535
00:27:57,424 --> 00:27:59,918
♪ When you decide you like
yourself, holler at me ♪
536
00:27:59,987 --> 00:28:02,093
♪ When you decide you need
someone, call up on me ♪
537
00:28:02,162 --> 00:28:04,062
♪ When you don't have
to think about it ♪
538
00:28:04,131 --> 00:28:07,369
♪ Love me at the ungodly hour ♪